All language subtitles for oodaat404

A pop original series.

Max, ever since we got back together,
there's a question I feel like I have to

ask you.

Sure, anything.

Did we get better at this?

Well, you have to give a little bit of
credit to that performance enhancer you

gave me.

This knee brace is a game changer.

All right, gotta go get ready for
Halloween.

Though what we did was a treat and
involved a few tricks.

Maybe we should just blow off the
costume.

I mean, you already are a sexy nurse.

Hey, that's demeaning.

Sexy nurse practitioner.

But we're doing the costume.

I can't wait.

Ooh, but before you go, there is
something I want to give you.

In the shower.

God bless that knee brace.

This is it.

One day at a time.

Oh, good. You're going out for
Halloween.

I'm climate change activist Greta
Thunberg, and Sid is a melting iceberg

because you're too hot.

Oh.

We're Thunberg and iceberg.

Why can't you just be guts?

You already got the whisker.

We are not going trick-or-treating. We
are going door-to-door to collect

signatures and inform people about
man-made climate change.

Shouldn't we say person-made climate
change?

I'm going with the men taking the credit
for this one.

Halloween is the perfect night because
suckers will open the door for anybody.

Oh, yeah.

You ring the doorbell and before they
even know what's happening, we hit them

with the facts.

Bam! Damage will be irreversible by
2030.

Bam! Welcome to the insect apocalypse.

Bam! That is the sound of a door
slamming in your face.

Put this outside.

With that bobo in the White House, I
can't stand to look at an orange face

right now.

He's like a funky, and he will get
thrown out in November.

Well, guess what we are.

A reminder to shave my legs?

No, come on.

This is serious.

It's okay, babe. They just, they need a
hint.

Okay, okay. You are a cow and you have
stepped in the cow caca.

Goat yoga.

Goat yoga.

Obviously.

We're never going to win.

He's got a lot riding on winning
tonight's Halloween costume contest at

the Echo Park Country Club.

They have a country club in Echo Park?

Oh, no, it's the Beverly Hills Country
Club. They just call it Echo Park on

Halloween to make it sound scary.

I've never won, but this year I can't
lose because I have Avery in my life,

and I'm finally in a loving
relationship.

And couples' costumes always win.

The prize is an iPad mini, and I never
win anything.

You're a rich, straight, cisgender,
white dude. You won at life.

But I won an iPad mini.

Ooh. Hey, what are you, a little boat
peep and a messed up sheep?

Come on, let's go back to our apartment.

Ah, it's a Halloween miracle.

A hurdy hur, hur, hur, hur.

Mom, we're going to go now.

Oh, you two look great.

This is a lot better than last year's
toxic drinking water and tumor costume.

Yeah, we really bummed out that senior
center.

Bye-bye.

Lupita, you look so happy.

Did you enjoy your walk?

Walk of shame?

I know you were with Max doing
hunky-punky when you needed to be here

doing tricky-treaty.

Mommy, I don't know what you're talking
about. We were knitting sweaters and

reading the Bible.

What is wrong with you?

I would have broken him down like a
cardboard box.

Put this outside.

Okay, I'll do that.

Hey, take it somewhere else, you old
creep.

Oh, hey, Mom.

Anderson Cooper, Billy Idol, Steve
Martin?

I don't know who any of those people
are.

Doesn't he look like he could be in a
boy band?

Yeah. Boy, it's all men.

Wait, this isn't my costume.

I dyed my hair.

Like permanently?

How could you do that without asking me?

I did ask you. I said, Mom, on
Halloween, can I dye my hair silver?

Why would you use Halloween in that
sentence? That is so misleading.

What have you done?

You look just like your abuelo.

Tonight I will put you in his suit and
we will dance.

Oh, I've made a big mistake.

Yeah, you did.

We'll talk about it later when you get
back from trick-or-treating.

Yeah, I think I'm over that.

Wait, so you're done trick-or-treating?

With last year your last year? Why
didn't you tell me?

How could I tell you last year was the
last year if I didn't know until this

year?

Well, you're a wise old man. Figure it
out.

I'm sorry.

But can I please go to Nora? Her parents
are having a party.

Don't worry.

He'll be home in time to take his
arthritis pills.

That's a good one.

Yes, you can go to Nora's house.

But make sure you're home in time to
spoon your grandmother.

clean in my bathroom.

Well, I can't wait to see you.

Pregnancy day.

Oh, I can't wait to see you, too. Just
about to head over.

Are you sure you have enough candy?

Completely sure.

Positive.

So I can stop.

I've been through this a couple times
before.

100% sure.

Instead of handing out candy all night?
What am I supposed to do? Leave it in a

basket outside the door and hope someone
takes it?

That's not how I was raised.

The

one

governor who's crushing it the most
right now is Andrew Cuomo.

Yeah. Thanks to his handling of the
coronavirus, his approval rating has

soared to a seven-year high.

And he's even becoming something of a
coronavirus crush for many people

because of coronavirus and how he's
handling it.

I'm not going to lie. Those people
include me.

My Tinder profile now lists me as a
Cuomo sexual.

The Daily Social Distancing Show with
Trevor Noah, new tonight at 11.

A day spent at the fair has sights that
must be seen. A spin around the

whirlwind twirl turns dad a little
green.

And views like this, they all agree, are
few and far between.

Goldfish Crackers, the snack that smiles
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Great parenting needs great allies.

New Ziploc Grip and Seal.

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You are the first Chicano detective in
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Are you a cop pretending to be Mexican
or a Mexican pretending to be a cop?

There's been some trouble. Let me know
if there's anything more terrible going

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Missed an episode?

So good.

Catch up now.

Baby, come on.

One day at a time. New episodes
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I

got to

admit, Grease was a great costume idea.

Right? Because we go together.

Is it weird that I'm really attracted to
you even though you're technically

dressed as a high school girl?

Nah. Every teen in that movie was
pushing 40.

Instead of this, they were worried about
a liver spot.

Presenting the House of Schneider!

Serving Halloween extravaganza realness.

Well? Do you get it?

Drag. Race.

You're Drag Race.

Yes! Thank you!

I mean, it's really more of a history
lesson in heels.

The full title is Drag Race, A Drag
Queen Started Stonewall.

Oh,

Drag Race. That's cute.

Oh, no.

Don't say that.

Cute?

Do you think I tucked and taped for
cute?

You're in a dress.

I think you tut and taped for nothing.

Cutes for losers.

Last year, I went into the hang-in-there
cat.

Nothing.

I almost gave up for good, and then I
looked in the mirror, and something

inspired me to keep going.

Anyway, back to the drawing board.

He actually draws on a board.

Tick stickers.

Very sad.

I can fix him.

She's a lucky woman. All right.

Now it's time for a little summer
lovin', and by summer I mean October,

and by lovin' I mean wine.

Ooh, County Duty calls.

Ooh, our first trick-or-treaters. I love
seeing those little cuties all dressed

up.

The beast is here.

I never saw the movie.

I thought it was about a beautiful woman
and her pet dog in a tuxedo.

Leslie, may I see you in the kitchen?

Oh, shall I be your guest?

Why are you being weird? Get in the
kitchen.

is, but I assure you, I will raise this
baby as my own.

Oh, Nancy, it is not my baby.

Oh, thank God. I can't raise a baby.

I can't even get up off of this knee.

Maybe I should try one of those knee
braces Penelope's raving about at work.

Penelope is pregnant.

Dios mio!

know about this?

I think that is what they are talking
about right now.

They deserve privacy.

They're not gonna get it, but they
deserve it.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Okay. What should we hit them with
first? How rising sea levels will

destroy coastal communities or the
coming political chaos caused by

widespread food insecurity?

They're both so inevitable.

Okay, you decide.

I'll use what I learned from my summer
improv course to yes and whatever you

say.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Anna and Olaf from Frozen.

What? No, no, no, we're not from Frozen.

Yes, and what's not Frozen is the
Arctic.

So cute. Two pieces of candy each.

Thank you, bye.

costumes are making a radical political
statement.

He just thought we were adorable.

Men.

Okay. Well, let's not panic because we
can get it right on this one.

Hi. We are here to talk about climate.
Oh, my stars.

What very clever and timely costumes.

Thank you.

Dorothy and the tornado.

We really didn't think this through.

Well, here we go.

Oh, uh, thank you so much, but
actually... We wanted to talk to you

about... What is going

on? I'll tell you what's going on.

Full-size candy bars!

Let's try the next door. Oh, just see if
they'll sign the petition.

They have knickers.

Yes. And maybe Twix? Yes.

All right, I'm calling it.

Once the 30-year-old SpongeBob comes
around, it's time to close up shop.

Well, we did it.

Yes. Thanks for having me over.

This was fun.

Well, when Alex said he was done
trick-or-treating, I realized a part of

my life was ending. But I guess another
part is beginning.

Sounds like we should make a toast.

Yeah.

To new beginnings.

Chardonnay is not for babies.

What is happening?

You are pregnant.

You're pregnant?

No. Well, how did you explain this?

I explained this. It's not mine. I'm not
pregnant. So nobody's pregnant?

Somebody is pregnant, according to the
trash.

Hold on.

You found a pregnancy test in our trash
can?

Well, if it's not yours, then... Oh,

could it be Elena's?

Do you think she fell off the wagon?

No, she really loves that wagon.

Which means it can only be.

I think the only one. Alex, yes.

I've had a lot of toothaches in the
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Get some of this. Just put it right up
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I'm very conflicted and, yeah,
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Talking to a psychic over the phone is a
bit impersonal. They can't be for real,

can they?

We let these skeptics try California
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got everything I could imagine from my
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She had names.

She had so much detail. She really just
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Let the master work.

Helena, help me keep that turn figure.
Every girl wants to know.

Lisa!

Okay, let me guess.

The kids are in the car.

No, no, no, Melba, hi.

Soy Penelope Alvarez, la mamá de Alex.

We've spoken on the phone a couple
times.

It's so nice to meet you in person.

Ay, Penelope, qué gusto conocerte.

Este es mi esposo Ramón. Hola, Ramón,
¿cómo estás?

This is my boyfriend.

Mi amor, es Max.

Ay,

qué bonita tu casa.

What are you doing here?

Why are you dressed like an old biker,
dude?

I am Sandy from Greece. You don't know
who that is either.

Look, we need to talk about this.

And we would love to be part of that
conversation.

Norita!

She'll be out in a minute.

Why are you showing me a pregnancy test?

Don't give me that crap, you silver fox.

We found this at home. See, Mommy?

Norita, what were you doing at Alex's
house today?

What? Nothing.

Well, then somebody explain this.

It's not ours.

Alex, we found it in the trash.

It's not mine, not Abuelita's, not
Elena's. How is it not yours? Because

it's not, all right?

What other explanation is there? It's
impossible.

We haven't had sex, okay?

Really?

Look at me.

No sex at all.

Oh, my God, no sex.

Just over the shirt stuff.

We probably didn't need that
information.

Can we all stop talking about this now,
please?

What a memorable first meeting, Amelba.

I'm glad we figured this out without too
much embarrassment, right?

Mucho gusto.

Sí.

Sí, mucho Halloween.

Sorry, that's a German in high school.

I thought you were out doing a political
crusade.

We tried, believe me, but sometimes we
dress up to discuss the coming global

disaster, but people think you're the
Swiss Miss Girl in mashed potatoes.

That's okay because this is going to
give us so much energy to fight harder

tomorrow.

Who knew Halloween was fun?

Literally everybody.

Elena, is there any way this positive
pregnancy test

is yours?

How many times do you want me to come
out?

Do know you need a man for that, right?

Excuse me, I think the Virgin Mary would
clap back.

All right.

Well, I'm not pregnant.

Oh, for a second they had me convinced.
I mean, you are a saint.

Well, this has to belong to someone. It
didn't just appear by magic.

Don't compliment us. We came in second.
We lost to Elton John.

Oh, who was dressed like Elton John?

No, we lost to Elton John, who was
dressed as Garfield eating lasagna.

It was adorable.

Where did you find that?

Congratulations.

Why are you congratulating her? I told
you we lost.

Hey, don't cry.

Hang in there.

Okay.

Why didn't I think I'd be telling you
like this?

That's why I... Put it in their trash
because I wasn't sure how you'd react.

I mean, it's not like we planned this.

So what are you saying?

So

does

that mean you're happy?

Yes! Are you?

This is so much better than an iPad
mini.

Oh, congratulations, you two.

Oh, yes, and we are here for you if you
need us.

And you will.

I'm going to be a tío.

I'm going to be a tía.

I'm going to be a TX.

But this calls for a celebration.

Hey, Grandpa, will you take us out for
ice cream?

Let's keep the hair. It's silver, but
the jokes are gold.

Welcome home!

I can't get why she does it. It's a real
power move.

Mommy,

you think a sign is going to stop me?
I'm parked in a loading zone right now.

One day at a time. All new next Tuesday
at 9.30. Set your DVR now.