All language subtitles for Will & Grace (1998) - S02E08 - Terms of Employment 1080p WEBDL h264 AAC 2.0

Will!

You're not gonna
believe what just happened.

Are you watching this?

Yeah, I've never seen
"The Usual Suspects".

They're just about to reveal
who Keyser Soze is.

It's Kevin Spacey.

Okay.

Listen, coming off the
stunning success of...

I have been asked
to play the lead

in an employee training video

for the Canterville
Plate Glass Company.

Well, good for you, Jack.
What's the video about?

It's a hard-hitting look
at sexual harassment

in the workplace.

[laughs]

I'm sorry, Jack.
Sexual harassment?

Starring the guy that,
that, that asked his co-worker

at Starbucks if he had
two nipples for a dime.

Which, by the way,
was the beginning

of a very fulfilling
three day relationship.

Couldn't you once
be happy for me?

Hey, don't you think it's
possible that maybe I'm jealous

because you,
you got this great new job

and I've been unemployed
for a month?

Oh, no, are you?

[laughs]
Yeah, right.

Hateful!

I'm raiding your closet.

They said dress
like a repressed straight guy.

Hey, I need you
to help me sue someone.

Did the lady at the Korean
market call you mister again?

Buy one tube of cream bleach

and you're mister
for the rest of your life.

No, but that has
nothing to do with this.

- Alright.
- Okay.

I have this client, right?

I have a signed contract.

I spend a huge
chunk of money and then--

- He backed out.
- Wow. See?

See, this is what I need.

Someone who will show
Ben Doucette he can't just order

a moustache chair
and then back out.

What?

It's sort of like a club chair
but the top's--

No, not the chair!

Ben Doucette
of Doucette and Stein?

Yeah, he's some
big deal lawyer guy.

You, you know him?

I know of him. He's a killer.

Sweetie,
you need a real litigator,

not a corporate attorney.

Especially one
who's spent last month arguing

the case of
ass versus sofa cushion.

What is this?

Do I hear doubt,
Mrs. Doubtfire?

Huh! I just, I don't know
if I can do this.

I mean,
th- this is Ben Doucette

and I'm... I'm a little rusty.

Oh, come on, little rusty.

You can do this.

As Jane Seymour says to her
wheelchair-bound husband

in every lifetime movie,

"I believe in you."

Oh, my God.

I watched two of those today.

I'll do it.

Hi, Grace. Bye, Grace.
Can't talk, in a movie.

Just enough time
to grab some ice cream

and run to my acting class.

Why don't you
just combine them

and study
with Uta Haagen-Dazs?

[laughs]
That's...

- You don't get that, do you?
- Not really, no.

[theme music]

Alright, he's kept
us waiting half an hour.

I say we go
find him in his office.

Listen to you,
Mr. Thing-with-the-boom-boom.

I love it
when you get like that.

Well, I've just been thinking,
why am I so scared of this guy?

He's a lawyer.
How intimidating can he be?

You be in my office
in one hour, and be nervous.

- Hello, I'm Benjamin Doucette.
- Will Truman.

I know who you are.
Your reputation preceded you.

And Mr. Doucette,
your reputation precedes you.

And, Mr. Truman, my reputation
precedes your reputation.

I can't believe
I said that without a cigar.

Let's do this.

[phone rings]

A cup of proper coffee
in a copper coffee cup.

Unique New York.
Unique New York. Unique New...

Hello, Mr. Dent.

Looking forward
to working with you.

Uh-huh.

Oh, I brought
you another resume.

I've updated my special skills.

Um, I now know stage combat,

banjo and, as of last night,

I can drive a commuter ferry.

Kind of.

Bad news,
we're cancelling the shoot.

Oh, no, no, no.
I, I didn't get a message.

I didn't leave a message.

The girl dropped out.
She got a airborne virus.

It's attacking her joints.

Uh, Mr. Dent, we, we can't,
we can't cancel.

Look,
this is my big break, okay?

I've already taken ads out in
"Variety" congratulating myself.

Sorry, unless a girl
walks through that door

this minute, we're done.

Honey, when I agreed
to drive you to the set

you didn't say
it was on Staten Island!

How in the hell am I ever
gonna get the stench of landfill

and working class families out
of tropical lightweight wool?

What are you
lookin' at, eye-bags?

I'm gonna make a wild
guess here and say that

you two are more than friends,
but less than lovers.

You're gay and she's straight.

Very good, now,
if you can guess my weight,

you'll get a T-shirt that says

"That's really
none of your business".

Now, what we're looking for is
full reimbursement for expenses.

So, you were two years
out of law school

when you started
your own practice.

That's pretty risky
considering you were on

the partnership track
at Getman and Denofreyo.

[clears throat]
We also seek token amount

for compensatory damages.

And then you
go and steal Harlin Polk

right out from under them.
Now, that, I love.

That's, that's theatre, man.
That's very impressive.

We're also looking for interest
on the money she laid out.

But it must be rough.

I mean, one minute,
you're a rising star,

and then the next
you're sitting at home

watching...
I'm guessing "Lifetime."

And right in the middle of a,
a "Designing Women" marathon,

the thought starts to creep in.
"Maybe I've lost it."

"Maybe I never
even had it to begin with."

What is with you and the nuts?

Are-- are you gonna
eat one or what?

Don't like eating 'em,
just like crushing 'em.

[chuckles]
Oh, give me a break.

Shouldn't, shouldn't
you be stroking a white cat

while you say that?

- Excuse me?
- This is it?

This is the famous Ben Doucette
intimidation tactic?

You crush nuts?

That's why I should
never meet a legend.

You know,
it's always disappointing.

Like the time I met
Big Bird at the Ice Capades.

Not so big.

So unless you're prepared
to make me an offer,

I'm out of here.

Here's your offer.

Let me know what you think.

It's good to see you again.

- Ha!
- Ha?

Oh, he knows what I meant.

What happened? What happened?

Well, he made us an offer.

[gasps]

Yes! What's it say?
what's it say?

He offered... me a job!

Yes!

What?

No!

- Wow.
- What kind of offer is that?

What was he thinking?

Wh-- wh-- why would
he do that?

[gasps]

Oh, my God.

Don't you see?

The only reason
you were offered a job

is so that he can
slither out of the lawsuit.

Of course.

That ruthless bastard
offered me a five year contract

paid vacation,
a huge signing bonus,

all to make a dispute
over slip covers go away.

How could have been so blind?

Why do your people
always go to sarcasm first.

Okay, so it was a real offer.

You're not actually
thinking of taking it, are you?

Well, let me think about this.

♪ I got a job
ba ba ba ba ba ba ♪♪

Come on!

How could you
not be happy for me?

How can I be happy for you?

You were on my side
and now you're bailing on me.

I th...
Uh, I think that sucks.

W-- would you consider this,
that o-- once I'm on the inside

I'll be able to settle this

and maybe even get you
a whole lot more money.

♪ Got a job got a job... ♪

So it goes line, line, line,
do the inappropriate gesture,

then freeze
and the announcer moves in.

Okay? You guys ready? Jack?

Jack?

I'm sorry, I'm at one
with my character right now.

So from here on in,
could you please refer to me

as Mr. Weckerly?

Uh, no.

Good idea. I'll use that.

Okay, places,
rolling and action.

Good morning, Mr. Weckerly.

I brought you the file
for the Herman Schlau meeting.

Thank you.

Oh, Ms. Bartholomew,
you have a piece of fuzz

on your shoulder, allow me.

[shuddering]

Cut! Okay, lady,
you need to freeze.

I was freezing.

Oh, you meant...
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You're gonna ruin this for me.
What are you doing?

Honey, what are you doin'?

That tongue of yours
could have a career.

It's drivin' me crazy.

Places. Let's make
some magic, people.

And... action.

Good morning, Mr. Weckerly.

I brought you the
file for Herman Schlau meeting.

- Thank you.
- Mm.

Oh, Ms. Bartholomew, you have a
piece of fuzz on your shoulder.

- Oh.
- Allow me.

Okay, stop.

What you've just
witnessed is an example

of inappropriate
office behavior.

Clearly, this female employee
is uncomfortable

and finds her boss's
overture unwelcome.

Meats and cheeses,

you are rockin' my clock, Mary!

Cut! cut!
What is going on, people?

You're supposed to freeze.

I was freezing, Mr. Dent.

I'm working
with an amateur here--

Okay, you freeze
or you're out of here.

Okay, God bless you.

Let's go again, people.

You blow this for me,
and so help me God.

You'll wake up
with Rosario's head in your bed.

Then just don't put it
all the way in.

[indistinct chatter]

I'll have to adjust my whole
character, but whatever.

Bob: Okay,
people in their places.

Settle and action.

Morning, Weckerly.

I, uh, brought you
the file for the...

Herman Schlau meeting.

Thank you.

Oh, Miss Bartholomew, you have a
piece of fuzz on your shoulder.

- Hm.
- Allow me.

Okay, stop.

What you've just
witnessed is an example

of inappropriate
office behaviour.

Clearly, this female employee
is uncomfortable.

[panting]
Oh, yeah!

And finds her
boss's overture unwelcome.

Insensitivity
to the effect your--

Cut! Cut, cut, cut!

You're gonna cut now?
Oh, typical man!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no
no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

We are gonna do this until
we get it right. Right, right.

Will, have you met my assistant,
Mrs. Freeman?

Uh, no. Mrs. Freeman,
nice to meet you.

Mm-hm.

Okay, what's with the tux?

Uh, well,
I'm going to a dinner.

They're honoring
African-Americans

who run big time
law firms in New York City.

It's being held in a phone
booth on the Upper East Side.

[laughs]

That the same phone booth
where they held

the Gays for Buchanan rally?

Yes.
[chuckles]

So, uh, what'd you
wanna see me about?

Oh, uh, it's this
whole thing with Grace.

Oh, yes, I am so glad
you brought that up.

Make it go away, would you?

Oh, okay, so y-- you just want
me to pay her off--

No, no, no, no, no.
I don't want you to pay.

No, I want you take her
to arbitration and kick her ass.

[chuckles]

Mm, wrong cufflinks.

Murphy's got a good pair.
Let's get his.

Ben, come on, I mean,
how important is this, really?

The amount of money
we're talking about

is only slightly less than
you paid for those cufflinks

that you just threw
into my garbage pail.

It's not about the money, Will.

I don't lose, and since
you're working for me now,

you don't lose.

But you're putting me in kind of
an awkward situation here.

I mean, Grace is my friend.

Yeah?

Don't you think
that's a conflict of interest?

Will, do you know
how many people I pissed off

by giving you this office?

- Have a good night.
- B-- but, uh, eh...

I'm-- I, I really don't have
a choice in this, do I?

Uh-uh.

Knock. Knock.

Hey.

Oh, my God!
Look at this place.

Will, I think
the only thing that is missing

is the orchid
I stole from the lobby.

Oh! Oh!

What's with the face?

Sweetie, uh... sit down.
We need to talk.

- Traitor!
- Grace, just take my check.

I don't want your money.
I want his money.

Yeah, but he's paying me now,
so in a way, this is his money.

I will see you in court.

It's not court,
it's arbitration.

We'll be in a conference room
with an arbitrator there.

Then I will see you
in a conference room

with the arbitrator there!

That did not sound as good!

What a day, huh?

Only a 148 takes.

My tongues drier than a Triscuit
in an old lady's cupboard

but I think we got it.

[chuckles]
Mm!

You comin' to the cast party?

See that bag of Doritos?

- Yeah.
- That is the cast party.

Well, thank you very much.

You just ruined my chance to
ever work with Bob Dent again.

Honey, I feel great.

Karen, um, I hate
to give notes to fellow actors

but... you were really
unprofessional today.

Couldn't you
have contained yourself?

Couldn't you have shown some
kind of respect for acting?

Couldn't you have just...

[gasps]

Chaka Khan, you totally
found my G-spot! Oh!

Okay, honey, now do me.
Do me, do me, do me.

Okay, that's it.
Oh, I like that. Okay.

- Okay. Me, me again, me again.
- Okay, okay.

Hey, hey,
and keep your boobies away.

I'm trying
to imagine Matt Damon.

Okay.

Hi, you must be
Mr. Buhl, arbitrator.

Grace Adler, victim.

I know you have
to remain entirely neutral

but I also know, you have
to eat, which is why...

I have put to together
a roasted chicken,

artichoke salad and some
kreplach direct from Flatbush.

Ms. Adler,
I can have no part in that.

Now, would you please
sit down so we may begin.

I understand. I will just
leave it right over here.

In case you want
a nice little nosh.

Grace, where is your lawyer?

Um, I don't need a lawyer
because I have right on my side.

But you need someone to--

Um, excuse me, Your Honor

can you please instruct
opposing counsel

to stop badgering the witness?

Grace, you're not a witness.

He is not a judge,
this is not a trial

and you are not a lawyer.

I know you are,
but what am I?

Okay,
so we're in that headspace.

Keep going, keep going.
I'm just hiding.

My ex-wife's in the building,
every time she sees me,

it costs me
ten thousand dollars.

Will, shouldn't you
be over here?

Oh! Right.

Alright, then let's begin.

I'll give each of you an
opportunity to argue your side.

Based on the legal merit
of those arguments

I will render a decision.

Mr. Truman,
would you care to begin?

According to paragraph
three of the contract,

any of Ms. Adler's purchases
had to be mutually agreed upon

by both parties.

Ms. Adler made said purchases

without the consent
of my client

therefore he should
not be required to pay.

Ms. Adler?

My choices were gorgeous.
Defense rests.

But they were not
mutually agreed upon.

Look,
my choices were flawless.

And if your client
can't see that,

then he is guilty
of extremely bad taste

and isn't that
the real crime here today?

- Gracie, there is no--
- Objection!

The familiar cutening of my name
implies we like each other.

Ms. Adler,
though it's clear you know

a lot of legal terms

you've yet to use
a single one of them properly.

May I approach the bench?

You'd have to build one first.

Alright, Mr. Truman, I'm
going to rule on your favor.

- Will: Thank you.
- What?

- Now, then, if you could just--
- What? No!

How could this happen?
I mean, this is so unfair!

Why should I be out
thousands of dollars

just because
you changed your mind?

Look, okay, fine, maybe
I don't know the legal words.

But I know the difference
between right and wrong,

and what is wrong
is that I worked hard for you.

I did good work,
and I'm honest

and that obviously
doesn't mean anything.

Okay, Will,
let's wrap this up.

Uh.
[clears throat]

You know what?
I can't do this.

Why not?

'Cause I'm on the wrong
side of this table.

Mr. Truman, outside.

I'm sorry, Ben, it's this
thing I have, a conscience.

I tried to get rid of it in
law school, but it didn't take.

I don't think I'm the kind of
lawyer you want for this firm.

You're wrong.
You're exactly what I want.

Mrs. Freeman,
make sure Grace gets her check.

Mm-hm.

What just happened? What?

What, un-- underneath it all,
you're just a big old softy?

Underneath it all, I'd sell
my grandmother down the river

if it got me a continuance.

But I have me.
That's why I need you.

But wait, wait, wait, wait so,
so what?

This was just a, a test?

Like this is Willy Wonka
and you've just given me

the keys
to the Chocolate Factory?

Will, you've got your job
but please,

don't refer to me
as the Chocolate Factory.

See you tomorrow.

Well, I-- you...

You know
I didn't mean anything

by th-- the Chocolate Factory
remark, right?

Mm-hm.

What happened?

You're getting your check
and I still have my job.

- You're kidding?
- I know.

Thank you.

I promise you,
I will never again

pick sides
against the family.

Come on, your attorney's
buying you lunch.

Gracie, am I wrong
or is there some

large round object in your pants
that is not your ass?

Yeah, I didn't think I was
gonna win, so I stole this bowl.

That's the bowl
Ben keeps his nuts in.

- Okay, puttin' the bowl back.
- Oh!