All language subtitles for Blue.Moon.2025.1080p.BluRay.DDP5.1

[SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

MAN: [SINGING] I
telegraphed and phoned

I sent air mail special, too

Yeah, I know.

[SINGING] Answer was goodbye
There was even postage due

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

I fell in love just once

And then it had to be with you

Triple rhyme.

[SINGING] Everything
happens to me

Oh, fuck.

[GROANS]

Yeah.

ANNOUNCER: [ON RADIO]
WQXR notes the passing

of one of America's
foremost songwriters,

Lorenz Hart, who died last night
at Doctors Hospital in Manhattan

from complications of pneumonia.

Mr. Hart was 48 years old.

For over 20 years, Hart and
his partner, Richard Rodgers,

Rodgers wrote the
music, Hart the words,

combined their
respective geniuses to

create a string of
musical-comedy hits.

Often referred to as
America's Gilbert and Sullivan,

Rodgers and Hart will be
remembered for such songs as,

My Funny Valentine,
The Lady Is A Tramp,

Where or When, With A Song
In My Heart, Isn't It Romantic?,

My Heart Stood Still, Bewitched,

I Didn't Know What
Time It Was, Manhattan,

and Blue Moon.

[CHOIR VOCALIZING]

[SINGING]
Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla

Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla

We know we belong to the land

Here comes "grand."

And the land we belong to
is grand And when we say

Yow! Ayipioeeay!

We're only sayin' "You're
doin' fine, Oklahoma!"

I need a drink.

-Lorry.
-I'll see you later, Mom.

L-A-H-O-M-A

[EXHALES]

Oklahoma!

Yow!

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

[PLAYING MELLOW TUNE]

[DOOR OPENS]

All right. For the last time,
put the letters on the table.

"If Laszlo and the cause
mean that much to you,

"you won't stop at anything."

All right, I'll make
it easy on you.

"Go ahead, shoot. You'd
be doing me a favor."

Just remember, I got this
gun pointed at your dick.

Oh. That's my least
vulnerable spot.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

BARTENDER: Jesus Christ! How
many times have we seen that picture?

Worst line in Casablanca?

"Well, a precedent
is being broken."

"A precedent is being broken"? How
can you break a goddamn precedent?

Do they even speak English
over there in Hollywood?

Still, you have to
love Claude Rains.

He makes that picture.

-Sure.
-HART: You know why he's so great?

He's a leading
man, and he's short,

which proves you can be both.

And I love this.

He says to Ilsa,

"Mademoiselle, he's the kind
of man that, if I were a woman

"and I were not around, I
should be in love with Rick."

[CHUCKLES]

Think about it. Whom does he
end up with at the end of the picture?

Who's strolling away together
arm in arm into the fog?

You're saying Rick
and Captain Renault...

What do you think
goes on over there

at the Free French
garrison in Brazzaville?

That is a scene
they can't show you.

Okay. Best line in Casablanca?

HART AND BARTENDER:
"Nobody ever loved me that much."

Isn't that magnificent?

Six words. "Nobody
ever loved me that much."

[SCOFFS] And, really, who's
ever been loved enough?

Who's ever been
loved half enough?

Would you get me a shot?

Larry, you told me
under no circumstances...

I'm just going to look at it.

-[INHALES DEEPLY]
-Take the measure

of its amber heft in my hand.

-You told me not...
-Just give me the drink.

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

Did I tell you what
Elizabeth told me?

That's the girl I'm
meeting here tonight.

-You mean the one you...
-Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

-What?
-Show some class, all right?

Her mother is going to come
walking in here any second.

-Sorry.
-Seriously.

I... I adore this girl. And, I'm
telling you, this is beyond sex.

-What's beyond sex?
-I don't understand it.

She's completely undeserving,
but isn't that the way it always is?

"Irrational adoration." That's
the phrase she came up with.

She's a poet, too.
Did I tell you that?

Oh, and would you give
me a shot of club soda?

I'll drink one and
admire the other.

So, this girl...

You really, you know,

with a 20-year-old
college girl, huh?

It is more complicated than
you could possibly imagine.

Uh, leave the bottle.

It's a visual poem.

You're not giving
me any details here.

You know what my secret
goal is for the rest of this year?

-What?
-I'm serious. Really.

My secret goal is to
stop being so scared.

-Elizabeth Weiland. For...
-HART: Those are mine!

Jesus! That is all you
get for five dollars?

Plus delivery, yes.

[SIGHS]

Lorenz Hart?

You know, I kind of think
I've heard that name before.

You just earned
yourself a dollar tip, kid.

A precedent is being broken.

[CHUCKLES]

Hey, she gave this to me. Mailed
it all the way from New Haven

because I said I wanted
something she'd actually touched.

[SNIFFS] Christ!
It's like I'm 17 again,

except I never was 17.

I went directly from
childhood to washed-up.

-Eddie, get the kid
a drink, would you?

-No thanks. I'm... I'm working.

Oh, Christ, that's when
you should be drinking.

What's your name?
Sven, am I right?

-Troy.
-HART: Ooh, even better.

Listen, Sven, are
you free tonight?

Eddie, would you get
the kid a goddamn shot?

-Yeah.
-'Cause I am throwing

an enormous party at my place.

All of show business
is going to be there.

I've booked the Golden
Gate Quartet. I'm serious.

I want you to show
up, bring a friend,

bring a dozen friends.

It's going to be like nothing
you've ever seen before.

I'm up at the Ardsley, you
know? 91st, on the Park.

Just tell the desk clerk that
you're with Lorenz Hart's party.

You're going to need
to know the password.

-Are you ready for the password?
-TROY: Mmm-hmm.

"Nobody ever
loved me that much."

Slow! Oh.

-Now that is a beautiful sight.
-[COUGHS]

[SNIFFS]

What, you don't drink?

[SINGING] After one
whole quart of brandy

Like a daisy I awake

You know that song?

Uh, no, no.

[SINGING] My funny Valentine
Sweet comic Valentine...

I really don't listen
to the radio that much.

You said you know my name!

-You don't know one Rodgers and Hart song?
-I know...

I just can't really remember...

[SINGING] I'll take Manhattan

The Bronx and Staten...

We were on the cover
of Time Magazine!

My picture is on
the wall right...

Eddie, where's my picture?

EDDIE: They move 'em around.

-What do you...
-PIANIST: Well, how about this one?

[SINGING] Blue moon

I know that one!

[SINGING ALONG] You
saw me standing alone

Without a dream in my heart

Without a love of my own

Worst goddamn
lyric I ever wrote!

-You wrote that?
-Wasn't even supposed to be the title.

[CHUCKLING] I like that song.

HART: Hmm. I'll
take my tip back.

I want you at my party, Sven!

[DOOR OPENS]

Doc Bender said to
me the other night,

after I told him I'd
proposed to Vivienne again,

"She turned me down, again,"

he said... [IN GRUFF VOICE]
"Larry, make up your mind.

"Are you homosexual
or heterosexual?"

[IN NORMAL VOICE] I
said, "Doc, I'm ambisexual."

He said... [IMITATING] "What
the hell does that even mean?"

[IN NORMAL VOICE] I
said, "It means I can jerk off

"equally well with either hand."

Oh, Larry! There's
a lady present.

HART: [CHUCKLING] Well,
women can use either hand, too.

But to be a writer, you have to
be kind of omni-sexual, don't you?

You have to have, inside yourself,
you know, everyone on earth.

Men, women, horses.

How can you give voice to
the whole chorus of the world

if the whole chorus of the
world isn't already inside you?

[PIANO CONTINUES PLAYING]

Eddie, what do you call a
tireless, relentless homosexual?

-[MUMBLES]
-"Indefagitable."

[CHUCKLING]

To the great and glorious past,
when it all mattered so much.

Mmm.

Keep playing. You're good.

-Oh, thank you. I'm an aspiring composer.
-HART: "Aspiring"?

-That means you're breathing, right?
-PIANIST: Mmm.

I better take your name down
in case I need a new partner.

Hey, did you go to
the opening tonight?

Oklahoma! With an
exclamation point, no less.

Fact. Any title that feels the
need for an exclamation point,

you want to steer clear of.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

What did you say
your name was again?

Uh, Morty Rifkin. But I go by
the name of Morty Rafferty.

[SOFTLY] No one could
possibly guess you're Jewish.

[CHUCKLES]

MORTY: Wha'dja
think of Oklahoma?

What did I think of Oklahoma?

[INHALES] Well, Knuckles,

Knuckles O'Rifkin, that's
what I'm going to call you,

I saw the show a couple of
times in previews in New Haven,

back when they were still calling
it Away We Go! Exclamation point.

And I felt sure Dick
was gonna call me,

"Larry, we're in big trouble.

"I need you to funny up the show.
We need some big comedy numbers."

And I was all ready to say,

"Dick, instead of all this
corn-pone Americana,

"let's do a send-up of
corn-pone Americana!"

I was already writing lyrics
in my head. I couldn't stop.

And did he call you?

HART: Are you kidding? He was
too busy writing more hits. Huh.

I sat in my box seat
tonight and watched

-"Oklahomo, exclamation point"...
-[EDDIE CHUCKLES]

...down there, glittering
in all its pink lights

and all those cowboy
hats and twirling lassos,

and I knew two things
with absolute certainty.

-[MORTY PLAYS PIANO]
-It was a 14-karat hit

and it was a
14-karat piece of shit.

Oh. Friend of mine
saw it in previews,

said it was one of the
best shows he's ever seen.

The show is fraudulent
on every possible level.

And this is not
jealousy speaking, okay?

I watched that show tonight and I
felt this great sinking in my heart.

And all around me
people are roaring.

They are roaring
at third-rate jokes.

I wanted to grab the audience
by the shoulders and say,

"What are you laughing at?
Come on! Demand more!" And...

Rodgers is a genius.

I say that without one
second's hesitation.

You're a piano player.
You know that I'm right.

Yeah, he's pretty good.

Pretty good?

There is no one with his
range, his inventiveness,

great soaring masculine
melodies building like pile drivers.

I mean, Rodgers is a
cold-hearted son of a bitch,

but he can get a
melody to levitate,

and that is the hallmark
of great art, levitation.

[SINGING] I've got
a beautiful feeling

That's the moment.
You hear that?

When your spine glows

and the whole
apparatus of songwriting

suddenly breaks
free from gravity.

There's maybe five people on
the planet that can pull that off,

and that son of a
bitch is one of 'em.

And then, oy... [SIGHS] Words
by Oscar Hammerstein II.

[HART AND EDDIE CHUCKLING]

What can I say about Oscar?

He's going to come
striding in here any second,

all seven and a
half feet of him,

and, you know, Dick deliberately
went with somebody tall this time,

you know that. [INHALES DEEPLY]

But what can I say about Oscar?

He's so earthbound,

and let's face it, most
of us are earthbound.

But there are
moments, I swear to God,

there are moments in my work

when I have made
something bigger than myself.

I agree, definitely.

Thank you. The words
were bigger than the music,

bigger than the
characters who sang them,

and they approached, for maybe
one-half second, something immortal.

Excuse my limitless
self-regard, but they did,

and if nobody else is going
to say it, then I'm going to.

I have written a handful of words
that are going to cheat death.

Spoken with the
modesty of a true lunatic.

Hey! When Shakespeare wrote,

"Not marble nor gilded monuments

"Of princes shall outlive
this powerful rhyme,"

did people say, "My
God, what an ego"?

No, they said he is a genius, and
he knows his work is going to last.

So now you're Shakespeare?

Look, Oklahoma! is going to win
the goddamn Pulitzer. I know that.

High schools are going to put
it on from now till doomsday,

because it is so inoffensive.

But really, who
wants inoffensive art?

Knuckles... [SNAPS FINGERS]

...are you listening to me? I'm
trying to answer your question.

Is that why God put us on the
planet, to not offend people?

-[CONTINUES PLAYING TUNE]
-The problem with Oklahoma! is this,

and the problem was right
there in the original play,

Green Grow the Fucking Lilacs.

And Dick first showed
that play to me, all right?

He asked me to adapt
it first, and I said no,

and I don't mind
that it's nostalgic,

but Oklahoma!,
exclamation point,

is nostalgic for a world
that never existed,

and do you really
want to write a show

where the main
character's name is Curly?

Oh, here's an idea for a song.

"Hey, Moe! Hey, Larry! I
Just Stepped in Cow Shit!"

[MIMICKING THE THREE STOOGES]

[CHUCKLES] I mean, am I bitter?

We write together
for a quarter a century,

and the first show he
writes with someone else

is gonna be the biggest
hit he ever had. Am I bitter?

-Larry...
-HART: Fuck yes.

But I need to tell
you about Elizabeth.

I need to cleanse my heart.

Here we go. The 20-year-old...

[EXHALES] She's going to
come in here any second.

Uh, Rodgers is gonna
be here tonight, right?

-HART: Don't worry, I'll introduce you.
-Oh, that'd be great.

I'm trying to get somebody
to listen to my songs.

Well, listen and learn.

I'm telling you about Elizabeth.

There's something appealingly...

ethereal about her face.

What the fuck does that mean?

Look, I got her
all these presents.

You bought her
something from Klein's?

[CHUCKLES] She's
gonna love this.

Yeah, but that's used
shit. What are you doing?

HART: This is an
authentic first-edition.

You don't understand the magic

and the mystery of this girl.

"I have been waiting
for this my whole life."

It's what Somerset Maugham
says in that thing, you remember?

-Me?
-HART: Yeah.

"There's always one who loves
and one who lets himself be loved."

That's the truth, isn't it?

Of course, you know
you're in trouble

when you're looking
for the meaning of life

in a book with the word
"bondage" in the title.

Larry... [EXHALES]

She's a girl. Right?

Okay. See, I always thought that
your interests went more towards...

HART: My interests?

So now you're
going to analyze me?

Thank you, Doctor Bacardi.

Look, I met her at
rehearsals for By Jupiter.

And she's not an actress.

She's a college
student. Sophomore.

Yale. Not the general
school, that's for the guys.

This is the School of Fine Arts!

Bohemian goddesses
in gray smocks

mixing paint in morning
light. [CHUCKLES]

She's all of 20 years old.

And you're what?

A youthful 47!

[BOTH LAUGHING]

You know what I
call her in my letters?

"My irreplaceable
Elizabeth!" Can you believe it?

If I could write what's
in my heart this second,

I would have the entire
audience levitating.

Oklahoma! would close in shame

if it could hear eight
bars of what's in my heart.

And I've been in eight bars tonight,
so I know what I'm talking about.

[BANGS COUNTER] Go!

Last summer, I found myself
awake at 4:30 in the morning.

And all I had done the
previous five hours...

What the hell are you
lookin' at your watch for?

-Larry, I'm working here.
-What the hell do you think I'm doing?

And I'm not even
getting paid. All right.

TROY: More flowers...

HART: Oh. Eddie, get
Sven another drink!

...for Richard Rodgers.

Jesus, how much did those cost?

Sixteen dollars. Plus delivery.

"Dick, I've got a beautiful feeling,
everything's going your way.

"Love, Dorothy."

She's quoting Oscar?

I write with her
husband for 24 years,

and she's quoting Oscar?

91st on the Park, The
Ardsley. We'll be going late.

All right. Well,
thanks again, fellas.

[DOOR OPENS]

WOMAN: Good evening.

[PIANO CONTINUES PLAYING]

Indulge me for one second.

Let me recreate
for you, Elizabeth.

Enough! Did you
screw her or not?

Show some class, Eddie.
Knuckles, may I speak with you?

Oh, sure, yeah.

[SMACKS LIPS] So, did
you screw her or not?

Elizabeth!

Larry!

My irreplaceable Elizabeth!

I'm so happy to see you.

-[KISSES]
-Ah...

-Do you like the hair?
-HART: I love it.

-It's much better than the red.
-I think so.

I mean, I liked the red, too. But
this is much more other-worldly.

I have to go set
up for the party.

No, no, no. I got
you some flowers!

Aww.

-I'm overwhelmed.
-Well, I have that effect on people.

-I have so much to tell you.
-HART: Like what?

-I've been writing
in my journal again.

-HART: I hope
you let me read it.

No, no, no, no. The big one.

And these are what
Richard Rodgers is getting?

Larry, my mother
would die if she saw this.

-With your permission.
-Permission granted.

-That guy I told you about?
-HART: Cooper?

-It finally happened.
-No!

ELIZABETH: Yes.

On my birthday. The
night of my 20th birthday.

Pretty dramatic actually.
You could write a play about it.

A musical. He Has Risen.

-ELIZABETH: Larry... [CHUCKLES]
-It's an Easter musical!

It's very religious!

Let me clarify by saying
it almost happened.

Clarify immediately!

-I'm gonna tell you the whole story later.
-No, no, I demand

to know the
shorthand version now.

-The shorthand version? Okay.
-HART: Mmm-hmm.

The skin on his
back was flawless.

Gotta run.

You're going to introduce
me to Richard Rodgers, right?

Before the evening is over,

you're going to get a
huge handful of Dick.

Larry! You're so vulgar!

[CHUCKLES] Handful
of Dick, that's funny.

-Hey...
-HART: Hmm.

I'm writing an entire
musical about her.

It's inspired by those Frank
Capra war pictures Why We Fight.

This one will be called

Why We Fuck.

And the big ballad
at the end will be

The Skin On His
Back Was Flawless.

[CHUCKLES]

Of course, when you're 20,

what other commodity do you
have to trade in on except your body?

You haven't done
anything, right?

Can you imagine what Elizabeth
would write if she saw my back?

"The skin on his back

"looked like a white bed sheet
someone had thrown-up on.

"His pecker looked like the
horn of a retarded unicorn."

[EDDIE TUTTING]

Just one...

to get me through
congratulating him.

Larry.

To the skin on her back
like every other part of her,

flawless.

Wow.

How can so much pleasure be
compressed into so small a container?

That's it. Absolutely
no more. Agreed?

[MORTY PLAYING IT AIN'T
NECESSARILY SO ON PIANO]

[HART SCOFFS]

God! I miss Gershwin.

I bet I saw Porgy and Bess more

times than any other
person in this city.

Best line in Porgy,

"When Gawd made cripple,
He mean him to be lonely."

Did you ever think
your entire life is a play...

-HART: Hmm.
-...and that, you know,

99% of the people in it,

they got no lines, you know?

They're just like extras.

And you, you're just
an extra in their play.

Deep. Very deep.

-I got thoughts, too, you know.
-Really?

I thought you
were just an extra.

Will somebody get these
fucking flowers off my bar?

MAN: Okay!

[EDDIE WHISTLES]

You've got to see her as I did.

-I just seen her.
-HART: No, the first time.

If you can't see that,

you can't understand what
this whole night is about.

I'm beginning to think
you didn't screw her.

I want to practice this trick
on you before I do it for her.

And I'm not showing
it to her as a trick.

I'm showing it to her as
an experiment to prove

there's an extra-sensory
link between us.

She believes in all that
horseshit, you know,

talking for 20 minutes
about psychokinesis.

I don't understand a
fucking word she's saying.

I'm sitting there,
nodding, thinking,

"Is she really wearing a
grape-colored brassiere?"

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

And later, I'm going to teach
you boys my own card game.

-Cocksucker's Rummy!
-Larry, language.

Ooh, you're offended
by the word "cocksucker"?

All right, I won't use
it. I give you my word

-as a cocksucker.
-[EDDIE CHUCKLES]

But let me tell you about
the first time I saw her.

I think I'd rather
see the card trick.

Me, too.

You know what the sexiest
thing on the planet earth is?

A half-erect penis.

Jesus Christ, Larry,
nobody wants to hear this.

I'm not talking to you.

-Who you talking to?
-HART: Me.

I got to talk to somebody
interesting. I mean it, though.

A half-erect penis is a promise.

A fully-erect penis is
an exclamation point.

As a writer, it offends me.
It's too loud, it's too adolescent.

The story's already over.

But a half-erect penis,
is it going or is it coming?

-[BOTH CHUCKLE]
-[HART SHUFFLES CARDS]

[HART TAPS CARDS ON TABLE]

But women appeal to me precisely
for their absence of penises.

Me, too.

Oh, they live in a
much more interesting

emotional landscape than we do.

A landscape we can
only dream about.

But this evening is
not about landscapes.

It's a portrait of Elizabeth,
and only Elizabeth.

Here we fucking go again.

HART: Wait, you saw that
she was beautiful, right?

I mean, if not classically beautiful,
then, what's the right word...

Nice tits.

Small but very inviting.

[LAUGHS]

I wish I could paint her.

That seems to me the most
intimate way of looking at a person.

At the same time,
the least sentimental.

To accurately reproduce
the planes of her face,

the two tiny freckles
on her left cheek.

You look familiar. I've seen
your picture somewhere.

You're a writer?

Well, then you will
appreciate this story.

Because it concerns the...

[HART EXHALES]

Ineffable?

That's the perfect word.

Christ! You're E.B. White!
You're "Andy" White!

[SPUTTERS]

I cannot tell you how
much I enjoy your essays.

Nothing has given
me more pleasure.

-I'm in love with your language.
-Thank you.

I'm in love with
your punctuation.

You can't move a single
comma. Am I right?

I mean, you're a
musician, White.

You're the musician.

You know, you, above all
people, will appreciate this story.

This girl, Elizabeth.

I... I can't do my act for
her. You know what I mean?

She wouldn't be interested.
She never asks me about me.

Never. And it isn't so
much indifference, I think,

as much as we both recognize

that she's legitimately
more interesting than I am.

And I genuinely mean that.

Did you guys see her hair?

That's what I first noticed when

she walked into
the theater last July.

It was as if she were breathing
different air than I was.

-I like that.
-HART: I'm telling you, White,

she would make a great musical!

And not one goddamn
corn stalk in the whole show!

And, hey, fellas,
just for the record,

"The corn is as high
as an elephant's eye"

is the stupidest lyric in the
history of American songwriting.

Yes, it makes perfect
sense, and, yes, it scans,

but the image of an
Oklahoma cornfield

with a fucking elephant
standing in the middle of it?

-I like elephants.
-Yeah, we all like elephants, Eddie.

Look, Andy, I need
you to see this.

I'm listening to her talk,

but I couldn't tell you
a single word she said

'cause all I'm
really thinking is,

"Wait till you feel the
warmth of her glance,

"pensive and sweet and wise."

I was writing about her
when I wrote that lyric.

Three perfect words,
in the perfect order.

And, you tell me,
what other lyricist

could've gotten
away with "pensive"?

What song was that?

Just telling you, when
I'm good, I'm really good.

Just the sound of it!
That's what a writer does.

We wear our vulnerability like a
cloak for all the world to witness.

I like the word "cloak."

That's 'cause it's
an antique like us.

Can I get you another drink?

[INHALES DEEPLY]

Sure. Why not?

I can think of a thousand
reasons why not,

but they can't compete
with the reasons why.

Eddie, pass the Lord and
praise the house physician!

Another round!
Just a little, just...

You know what I loved in that
essay you wrote about Florida?

That line.

"The sea answers all questions
and always the same way...

"'So soon?'" [EXHALES]

Jesus.

To take a sound and
transform it into what?

A sigh of eternity.

My diminutive gift.

To the poetry that
pours down on us

from a thousand
unexpected sources.

To your poetry.

HART: Hmm.

Look, she's 20, I'm 47.

Let's discuss this like two
sensible alcoholics. [CHUCKLES]

It was in the beginning,
everything was exactly as it seemed.

I was her mentor, and I
suppose I was, you know,

the "grand old man" of
the theater in her eyes.

I'm over at the Shubert
rehearsing By Jupiter,

the show is a holy mess.

And I'm having this
debate with Johnny Green

about the lyrics to Give
My Regards to Broadway.

I remember, as a kid,
falling in love with that song.

[SINGING] Give my
regards to old Broadway

And say that I'll
be there 'ere long

I knew instantly, even as a kid,

that what gave
that line its speed,

its inevitability, was
the inner rhyme.

And not just the "there, 'ere."
But the other one. The "way, say."

The line should logically be,

"Give my regards to old Broadway
and tell them that I'll be there."

But to change the verb to "say,"

it made all the difference.

Knuckles, do you know any Cohan?

[MORTY PLAYS PIANO]

[SINGING] Over
there! Over there!

Send the word, send
the word Over there

That the Yanks are coming!
The Yanks are coming!

The drum drum-drumming
everywhere...

We'll be over We're coming over!

And we won't come back
'till it's over, over there!

You know what the Yanks
really sang in the Great War?

"We won't come back.
We'll be buried over there!"

And they were.

Total number of deaths in
the Great War, 37 million.

I think maybe the
adjective "great"

should never precede
the word "war."

-Amen to that.
-[EDDIE SCOFFS]

What does God think when
he looks down on his creation

and sees that under
the noblest of motives,

we sent 37 million
people to their grave?

That's why it's raining all
the time. God is weeping.

Well, I'm a patriot. I am.

I mean, you're a
soldier. God bless you.

But how many are going
to die this time around?

Will we even be able
to put a number on it?

I'm on leave. Taking
care of my mother.

She's more terrified than I am.

HART: When do you ship out?

In two weeks, they're sending me

back to that hotbed
of enemy activity.

Bradley Beach, New Jersey.

I'm teaching Morse code
at the Hotel Grossman.

Bradley Beach, where enemy
agents stroll the boardwalk

disguised as elderly
Jewish women in furs.

I used to play hide the sausage

-with a girl from Bradley Beach.
-[CHUCKLES]

-Oh, yeah?
-[CHUCKLES]

Did you read that piece
in Life about Guadalcanal?

-HART: Mm-mm.
-How before the battle,

the soldiers were skipping
silver dollars in the water

instead of stones

'cause they knew they
were never coming back.

I couldn't enlist. My eyes.

What's the matter? They open?

Speaking of people
who are not coming back,

I would like you to read this.

It's from the By
Jupiter playbill.

Out loud!

Uh... [CLEARS THROAT]

"Rodgers and Hart,

"they're as different as a
dachshund and a dromedary.

"One likes opera
and home life, the

other goes for night
clubs and people.

"One is married
and has two children,

"the other is single and
supports bartenders."

You're welcome, Eddie.

ANDY: "The little fella,
that's Larry, smokes cigars,

"big, black, small,
brown, any kind.

"While Dick, that's Rodgers,
only uses cigarettes.

"One goes to bed
about 4:30 every

morning, the other
never dissipates."

HART: Perfect verb,
right? ANDY: Mmm.

"Despite their physical and
temperamental differences, however,

"their intellects complement
each other like ham and eggs.

"Their individual songs
number well over a thousand."

A thousand songs?

ANDY: "They disagree
violently, but they never fight,

"and in the 20-odd years
they've been practicing their craft,

"they have never worked
with anyone but each other..."

Until now. [CHUCKLES]

Impressive.

I wrote it myself.

And not one single mention
of Blue fucking Moon.

I sent Elizabeth some of my sheet
music. No response. I don't get it.

She's a bitch.

HART: That's what they're
gonna put on my tombstone.

-"She's a bitch"?
-"Lorenz Milton Hart.

"He didn't get it."

And people will come to my
gravesite and say, "You know what?

-"I didn't get it either."
-I definitely didn't get it.

-Hey, Larr, I get it!
-HART: So, listen.

Elizabeth and I had a weekend.

-We actually did.
-[MORTY PLAYS PIANO]

One passionate, transcendent
weekend, end of last summer

before she went back to Yale.

It's the closest I've ever felt
in my life to pure selflessness.

It was nuanced, it was deep.

How deep exactly?

Listen, clown. I met her,

and the first thing I said
to her was, "Excuse me,

"but you have the best style
of anyone in this theater."

[GRUNTS, LAUGHS]

I wish I had a photograph
of that moment.

I wish I had a photograph of
every moment I've spent with her.

[SUCKS TEETH]

I'm having trouble getting this
right. I'm trying to pin down...

Oh, Andy, help me.
What's the right word?

Enchantment?

[SNAPS FINGERS]

And you know how hard that is.

I couldn't believe that it
was me she wanted to talk to.

I kept looking
around the theater,

there must be somebody
else she's interested in.

But no! She's
plunking herself down

in the theater seat
right next to me,

as close as modesty will allow.

And my heart is actually racing.

And I don't ever feel this
way, not for men or for women.

But she's wearing
this yellow sundress,

and it is hot in the theater.

And she's talking
to me for hours.

Bare leg draped
over the armrest.

And I know this sounds like
I'm some middle-aged putz

with a crush on a pretty co-ed,

and maybe that's what it is.

But you know something?

Maybe that's not
what it is. [CHUCKLES]

Sometimes I feel...
and don't laugh,

after a lifetime of blindly
colliding into strangers,

we've finally found a friend.

Maybe that's the
definition of enchantment.

One light-filled weekend!

I've got to finish telling you
this before she comes back.

Are you listening to me?

Yeah, she got her legs
draped over the thing.

It was as if all the love
lyrics I had ever written

had, like, some sort of verbal
ectoplasm, suddenly taken human form.

-Ecto what?
-[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

That might be her mother.

She cannot hear this.

EDDIE: What about me?

You're just an extra.

Okay, but I still
get paid, right?

-HART: Absolutely.
-[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

It's important to me
that I nail this down.

It was a boiling hot
summer weekend,

and I asked, with all the
casualness I could counterfeit,

if she'd like to, you know,
escape the heat of the city,

spend the weekend with me
on Lake Dunmore in Vermont.

And without a moment's
hesitation she said,

[IMITATES ELIZABETH]
"I'd love to, Larry."

[LAUGHS]

Oh, I'm telling you, Andy,
this is my type of girl.

I'm sorry, excuse
me, I'm babbling,

but how else do you describe
the actual present tense

of falling in love?

Is that what this is?

Maybe. I mean, I haven't
done anything wrong, okay?

I haven't violated the Mann Act
or even the Middle-Aged Man Act.

I bought her this
painting of Lake Dunmore,

bought it off this
old salt Vermonter.

I bought it so that
she might remember.

I once did a little
canoeing up around there.

-Hey, Larry!
-[CHUCKLES]

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

And then?

Act Three. Later that day,

she's in the
warmth of the cabin.

There's a pennant from Fort
Ticonderoga pinned to the wall.

She's wearing this blue men's
work shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

All of her suddenly
available to me,

this gift of youth and brain

and clavicle.

I touched her shoulder,

and as some hack once scribbled,

"My heart stood still."

She took my hand
and said, "Larry,

"let's save this
for another day."

And all I can tell
you, my friend,

is there is a real possibility
that tonight is "another day."

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[PEOPLE APPLAUDING]

WEEGEE: Clearing back a little
bit. Ladies, beautiful, beautiful!

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Rodgers! Rodgers!

Yeah, beautiful!

Okay.

-I appreciate that. Thanks.
-[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

Hey, thank you so much.

I appreciate it. Thank you.

MAN: Bravo!

-OSCAR: Thank you so much.
-[PEOPLE APPLAUDING]

Now, time for the real
performance of the evening.

[BREATH TREMBLING]

Eddie, Eddie.
Eddie, get rid of this!

Hey.

So, did he fuck her or not?

He thinks tonight
might be the night.

Oh... Larry. Larry, Larry.

What do you think
she sees in him?

I think she sees a rich and
famous guy who can help her career.

I think she recognizes
she's being adored

by one of the great
appreciators of beauty.

-You know what else I think?
-ANDY: Yeah?

I think she is wearing a
grape-colored brassiere.

All right, Rodgers.
Gentlemen, please let's get one.

Beautiful. Come on.
All right, big smile!

-Beautiful.
-Dick! Dick!

My God! The show is
going to run 20 years!

It's going to be bigger
than Abie's Irish Rose!

-We'll see.
-And much more goyish, so it can tour.

[CHUCKLES] Well,
thanks for coming, Larry.

-Oh, Oscar!
-Larry.

You get taller every
time I see you. [LAUGHS]

What can I say? The
lyrics are brilliant.

Poetic when they need to be poetic,
funny when they need to be funny.

Not a rhyme out of
place, easy on the ear.

[SINGING] I'm just a
fool when lights are low

Perfect! [CLAPS AND LAUGHS]
Did you hear me applauding?

I think you were the loudest
person in the entire theater!

That's because I loved it more
than anyone else in the entire theater!

-Let me get you boys a drink.
-RODGERS: Oh, no, thank you.

-Um...
-Larry, you got two minutes?

Give us a minute.

Excuse us, Oscar.

Um...

So, uh, Dwight Wiman and I

have been talking about bringing
back A Connecticut Yankee.

HART: Terrific!

Yeah, I'm thinking of
asking Vivienne Segal.

Oh! Mein Gott! Oh, it's gonna
run longer than Oklahoma!

I'll buy 50 seats myself.

I've got a new title, [IN
SING-SONG VOICE] Ohh, Camelot!

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Well, I think we're gonna
stick with A Connecticut Yankee.

Camelot Exclamation Point?

[CHUCKLES] Okay, come
on. I'm being serious here.

I'm always serious. That's
why people find me so funny.

So I was thinking, if you feel
up to working, then maybe...

-I've never felt better in my life, Dick.
-Congratulations, Dick.

I don't want to bother you.
I just... We all just loved it.

-RODGERS: Oh, you did?
-It's going to be a big hit.

Oh, thank you. Thank
you. Appreciate that.

-It's Gladys, right? Yes.
-Yes! Yeah.

Yes, nice to see you. Um...

Yeah, I was... I was thinking,
um, not just a revival,

I was thinking a whole new book.

We were thinking four
or five new numbers.

That I write?

Of course, that you write.
That we write together.

It's been 16 years, you know
that, since we did that show?

-It needs updating, don't you think?
-[LAUGHS] 1927! The Vanderbilt!

Yeah, it can be the new Rodgers
and Hart show for the fall.

-New gags, new songs.
-New references.

[GASPS] We'll
satirize the whole war.

Rationing, rubber
drives, nylon drives,

a new number for Vivienne.

-Go easy with the satire, Larry.
-Very nice job.

-Hello, nice to see you.
-FAN: Very nice piece.

Appreciate it. Thank you.

[SINGING] There came a lull then
Cordell Hull sent orders from above

I'm sorry, girls, put down your
pearls 'Cause now we're rationing love

And how do we get
Cordell Hull into Camelot?

Who cares? It's funny!

Dick! From the New
York Journal-American.

"As enchanting to the eye as
Richard Rodgers' music is to the ear."

-Okay.
-Yeah, it's nice.

That's good. Good start.

So, uh, are you up for that?
Are you feeling healthy?

Is that something you
could take seriously?

Yeah. I'm on the
wagon, Dick. I'm serious.

[SPUTTERS] Been
drinking ginger ale all night.

Well, except for this second 'cause
this second we have to celebrate.

This is the greatest musical in
the history of American theater.

No, no. I'm not
drinking with you, Larry.

Okay, okay, all right.

Weegee! Weegee! Shoot this!

-What? Oh, no. Larry, I got to...
-No, no, no. Hey.

Rodgers and Hart,
together again!

WEEGEE: All right,
closer! Come on, closer!

I want ten copies of that.

Great. Write me a check.

Yeah.

So, you... you think
you're up to that?

It's the best idea
I've heard in 16 years.

At the same time,
I think we should be

dreaming about
something completely new.

Don't you agree?

New Rodgers and Hart, something
people haven't seen before.

Something big!

Let's start with
the revival first.

-Absolutely.
-We'll take it one step at a time...

-Yeah, but...
-...because I really think

-Hear me out.
-...we can have a future together.

Who doesn't think that?

But I want to be one of those
composers who works with, uh, you know,

other lyricists.

Like Arlen, Kern. You love Kern.

I love Kern. I
wanted to be Kern.

But we have to work
like professionals, Larry.

Since when haven't I
worked like a professional?

I want to work at specific times
in the morning, at my office.

-I want to adhere to a schedule.
-Yeah. That's what we do.

I don't want to spend any
more time looking for you, Larry.

-Well, I'm right here. Small as life!
-You know what I mean.

I don't want to be
calling up your mother

at nine o'clock in
the morning, so that,

maybe, you might roll
out of bed at noon. Right?

-Dick...
-I just don't want to do what we did.

That's all I'm saying.

It's a business, that's all.

Maybe I shouldn't bring it
up tonight, but I don't know,

-I wanted... I wanted to...
-All I want is to...

FAN 1: That was
your best one yet.

-Really.
-All right, thank you.

-Who is that?
-All I want is to write a show

we both love.

Yeah, I feel the same way.

Dick! Burns
Mantle just called it

"The most thoroughly and
attractively American musical comedy

"since Show Boat."

-Since Show Boat?
-Yeah.

Wow. That's good.

-FAN 2: Truly spectacular.
-Thank you, nice to see you.

I have to fall in love
with a show, Dick.

I have to want to write that show
more than anything in the world,

to be in that audience, sitting
there not missing a single word.

All right, well, we start
with A Connecticut Yankee,

-four or five numbers, and we go...
-Okay, look.

Here's what I'm thinking.
The Adventures of Marco Polo.

Dick, Dick! Wonderful show.

Oh, thank you so
much. Nice to see you.

Just... just big. Bigger
than Jumbo. Epic.

A three-ring musical circus.

The show lasts four
hours with a dinner break!

It's grand comic opera.
And the stage set is the world!

-Uh-huh.
-We satirize everybody.

And you get to
satirize them musically.

We send up every national
musical cliche there is.

[IN FRENCH ACCENT]
The France number,

[IN ITALIAN ACCENT]
the Italian number,

[IN DEEP VOICE] when they
get to the Heart of Darkness,

the cannibals are doing
Porgy and Bess. Boom, boom.

[SINGING] Bess,
you is my dinner now!

Jesus, Larry. Come on.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] This show is
going to have the scope of a novel.

It will be the greatest challenge
you've ever had as a composer.

And what grounds it all, what
lets the audience enter this story

is the girl.

-Uh-huh.
-This ethereal girl

whom Marco Polo has left behind.

She's half his age... [CHUCKLES]

...but it's the first
time he's felt that

inkling of love in
years, maybe ever.

He swears in the first scene.

We set this up like
Benedick in Much Ado...

-Right.
-He swears that he's beyond

the reach of any
woman. He scorns love.

And we do a whole
number satirizing love songs.

No. Larry, I want
to write shows that

have some emotional
core to them...

-Dick, great music. Great show!
-Hello, how are you?

Thank you. I'll take
that. You're a tough critic.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

Remember, we established in
the first scene that he's anti-love?

Then he meets the girl.
She's a sort of free-spirit,

Scandinavian-looking with
two freckles on her left cheek,

-it's absurd. [LAUGHS]
-Don't do that.

She lives socially,
psychologically, sexually

in another universe than
he does, but he is slain.

He stands there paralyzed in
the light of her pale green eyes.

This is the greatest explorer
in the history of the world,

and none of it
means anything to him

unless it's a way to
make her see him.

[CHUCKLES] That is the
emotional core of the story.

-Okay.
-We take this legendary,

larger-than-life man,

and we make him bleed.

Mr. Rodgers, my name is Robert

Heffner. I'm the
Mayor of Oklahoma City.

Eve and I have traveled
all the way to New York

-just to see the show.
-Okay. You know...

Welcome to New York.
We're finishing a conversation.

He'll be with you in two
minutes. Does that sound good?

Two minutes, I'll
be right with you.

Thank you, I hope
it was worth it.

-It certainly was.
-Good to see you. Thank you.

All right, so come on.
Come on, come on, come on.

And they end up
together? Come on.

That's what the audience
is waiting around to find out!

That's the engine that's
driving the whole story.

All right, well, look, Larry,

if you're willing to write it,

really write it, and rewrite
it, and rewrite it again,

then, you know, it could work.

But I'm not gonna beg you
for this, Larry. You know?

We work for 15 minutes,

you're out the door
looking for a cigar store.

-It drives me...
-[LAUGHING] Okay.

It drives me really
crazy. I don't like it.

-I don't want to do it anymore.
-We've worked like that for 24 years.

Congratulations, Dick!

That's exactly what
we've done for 24 years.

-Thank you.
-About time the Guild had a goddamned hit.

Yeah. You're absolutely,
absolutely right.

Anyway, I'm not going to... I'm
not going to fight with you, Larry.

-Who's fighting?
-I don't know.

With a war on,

do audiences really want to watch
cannibals singing Porgy and Bess?

And what do audiences
want to watch?

Cowboys a-whoopin'-it-up
at the box social?

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Well, yes. Apparently.

Oh, that's right, I forgot.

Oklahoma, exclamation point,
addresses the urgency of a nation at war.

I think every serviceman
in that audience tonight

thought about what
we're fighting for,

even for a second or
two, he thought about it.

And what is it we're
fighting for, exactly?

Feisty little girls in gingham
dresses who can't say no?

[HART LAUGHS]

-Okay. All right.
-Dick, Dick, Dick. Come on.

Just between you and me,

those characters are
unrecognizable as human beings.

I think plenty of people recognized
them. They recognized love.

He needs rescuing, big time.

They recognized, uh, family. They
recognized pride in their country.

You're starting to sound
like Yankee Doodle Dandy.

I think there's significantly
more there to recognize, Larry,

than a bunch of
singing cannibals.

But cannibals are
much funnier, admit it.

OSCAR: Dick, you want
to come and read these!

-Yeah, hang on! Hang
on. Be right there.

-HART: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. I
know exactly what you mean.

Just tell me... What do
you really want to write?

What's your dream show?

-My dream show?
-Yeah.

Oklahoma!

I mean, next.

Uh... We're talking about
getting the rights to Liliom.

-The Molnár play?
-Yeah.

-That was cornball in 1909.
-Yeah?

You really want to write a
musical about a carnival barker

who beats up his girlfriend,

-dies, comes back...
-I think it'll work.

Yeah, and at the
end, all the dead

people could take
off their halos and go,

"Oh... Purgatory!"

[LAUGHS] Look, I will
do it if you force me to.

-It's just in my heart of...
-No, I'm not forcing you to.

Oscar's going to do it.

What does Oscar know about
turn-of-the-century Budapest?

He's going to Americanize it.

He's going to modernize it.

We're going to set it in Maine.

Maine? Right, with all due
respect, modernizing Molnár

-is a deeply...
-You got to read this!

Is it the Times?

Burton Rascoe's
World-Telegram review.

-It's a rave.
-RODGERS: Good.

-We'll have the Times any moment.
-Okay.

Larry, I've got to go.
The Times is coming.

HART: Okay, okay.

-Wish me luck.
-Mazel tov!

As they say in Maine.

[HART CHUCKLES]

WOMAN: Hey, Dick. That was
perfect. RODGERS: Oh, thank you.

Nice to see you.
Did you enjoy it?

[PLAYING PIANO]

[EXHALES]

What does Dick
Rodgers know of Maine?

He was bar-mitzvahed
for Christ's sake!

How long are they going to
keep selling that fairy tale?

"Have faith, have hope, the
dead will arise to comfort us!"

Like fuck they will.

Give me another
shot, Eddie. A real one.

[MOUTHS]

Join me for a
shot, Andy? Please.

[HART SIGHS]

How ya holding up?

HART: You know how in a marriage
they say "for better or for worse"?

I think in terms of my life, I've
entered the "for worse" part.

And it happened so quietly
I didn't even recognize it.

Have you ever felt that way?

Every day of my life.

[SOFTLY] Thank you.

Sometimes I think, "Even
God is finished with me."

I've had my hits,

I've loved a small, dear
collection of people.

And now he's turned the page.

[CHUCKLES] I feel superannuated.

"Superannuated." That's
a good thing, isn't it?

It means your dick doesn't work.

-Must be why I don't know that word.
-HART: Hmm.

Put me on the list.

[CHUCKLES]

You notice the birds
are back in Central Park?

Hmm. What are you
working on these days?

Children's book.

Must have burned myself
out writing those essays,

it's not going well.

I think, as far as
my writing goes,

I've also entered
the "for worse" part.

HART: [CHUCKLES]
What's your story about?

I wish I knew.

The journey everybody takes?

Searching for what's
perfect and unattainable?

The ineffable!

Probably too elusive an idea
to put into a children's book.

I have a line for you.

"He chased her around the
bed all night before concluding

"she was ineffable."

Sure you don't mean "uneffable"?

[CLICKS TONGUE] Better.

[HART CHUCKLES]

You know, I'm in the
park every morning,

liberating this mouse I
keep catching in my kitchen.

-Yeah?
-I have this little glass box

that captures the
mouse but doesn't kill him.

And every morning I
walk into my kitchen,

and there he is, at the
bottom of the refrigerator.

My little brown mouse, happily
eating the cracker I left for him.

And every morning, I
carry him down to the park,

open the box. He leaps out ten
feet, scurries into the underbrush.

And then the next
morning, I'll be damned,

he is back in the box!

How do you know
it's the same mouse?

Well, he certainly
looks the same.

He has that same New York
look of doomed hopefulness.

But how does he
get up the 19 floors?

Maybe he's tipping the doorman.

[HART CHUCKLES]

You know, this
morning he wasn't there.

Just the cracker
lying in the box.

I actually missed the
little fella, I really did.

I think I've started
to identify with him.

Does he have a name?

I'm calling him Stuart.

-[CHUCKLES]
-With a "W" or a "U"?

Hmm. A "U." Nothing fancy.
Just a regular middle-class mouse.

[PEOPLE CHEERING]

I think you'll have
to excuse me.

All this jubilation has
gone to my bladder.

LANGNER: "Agnes de
Mille works small miracles

"and devising original dances
that fit the story and the tunes.

"Oklahoma! is fresh..."

-Okay, I got something funny.
-Hmm.

What do you call a
tired homosexual?

-[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
-I don't know.

Fuck, I forgot.

That's really funny.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

LANGNER: "The play's
spine-tingling, out of this world!"

[PEOPLE CHEERING]

[TOILET FLUSHING]

HART: You know, when
Atkinson wrote that

review for Pal Joey,
you remember that?

"Drab and mirthless.

"Can one draw sweet
water from a foul well?"

I cried. [CHUCKLES]
That's how hurt I was.

I cried in Vivienne
Segal's arms.

She hugged me and said,

"History is going to
prove him wrong, darling."

Wasn't that the sweetest
thing in the world

for someone to say?

And she actually calls
me "darling." Hmph.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Wow.

Time magazine wrote,

"For those who can park
their morals in the lobby,

"Pal Joey is a wow."

What kind of
piece-of-shit praise is that?

-[SNIFFLES] I'm talking about Pal Joey.
-Right.

I didn't see that one.

Wolcott Gibbs,
he loved the show.

He said it was, "A song
and dance production

"with living
three-dimensional figures,

"talking and behaving
like human beings."

-Ah, see? There you go.
-Mmm-hmm.

You're still going to introduce
me to Rodgers tonight, right?

Urination for me has
turned into a two-act play

with a brief intermission.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Oh, I love Vivienne.
God help me. [LAUGHS]

Her compassion.

Oh, did I tell you she
calls me "darling"?

We were up at
the Starlight Roof.

I turned to her and I said,
"Vivienne, will you please marry me?"

That's what I told
her. Right to her face.

Can you imagine having the
courage to say that to a woman?

I've never had the courage
to even dream of saying that.

Mmm-hmm. Yeah. It was a moment.

Let me tell you.
2:00 a.m., the band

was playing I've Heard
That Song Before.

She said, "I love you, darling,

"just not that way."

"Not that way."

Three little words.

Ten little letters that mean,

"Game over, schmuck." [LAUGHS]

Ah, "Think it over," I told her.

I took her hand in mine,
her nail polish was pale gray...

[DOOR CLOSES]

-[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
-Now... I can drink.

[ALL CHEERING]

May I remind everybody what Mike

Todd said about
Oklahoma! in New Haven,

-"No laughs, no tits, no chance"?
-[ALL LAUGHING]

We have a chance now. All
right, read that out. Okay, wow.

LANGNER: Wonderful. This is
what Nichols said in the Times.

"Wonderful is the
nearest adjective,

"for this excursion of the Guild

"combines a fresh and infectious
gaiety, a charm of manner,

"beautiful acting,
dancing and singing,

"and a score by Richard Rodgers
which doesn't do any harm either,

"since it is one of his best.

[ALL CHEERING]

"Mr. Rodgers's scores
never lack grace,

"but seldom have they been so
well-integrated as this for Oklahoma!

"He has turned out waltzes, love
songs, comic songs and a title number

"which the State in question
would do well to adopt

"as its anthem forthwith.

[PEOPLE CHEERING]

"Oh, What a Beautiful Morning,
and People Will Say We're in Love

"are headed for countless
jukeboxes across the land.

[ALL CHEERING]

"And a dirge called 'Pore Jud',
in which the hero of the fable

"tries to persuade his
rival to hang himself

-is amazingly comic.
-[ALL LAUGHING]

"The Farmer and the Cowman and
The Surrey with the Fringe on the Top

"also deserve
mention only because

they quite clearly
approach perfection."

-[ALL APPLAUDING]
-Read that part again.

"...because they quite
clearly approach perfection."

Put that on the marquee!

"Quite clearly
approaches perfection."

[ALL CHEERING]

Come on, everybody! Party
upstairs! Cake and champagne.

[ALL CHEERING]

[PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Oh, Oscar! Bravo, bravo.

Congratulations.
Oh... [HESITATING]

Can I speak with
you for a moment?

Can we talk later, Larry?

No, no, no. It's just a second. I
have something important to say.

Just a moment with
the musical genius.

[HART CHUCKLES]

I just have one thing
I want to tell you, Dick.

Uh... Just one second,
Dick. It's important.

I remember when I
first heard about you,

you were just Morty
Rodger's little brother.

-What, were you 17?
-16.

-Yeah, I was 23.
-Swell job.

Yeah, you were the wise
old man on the mountain.

But when I first heard
you play your stuff,

I knew you had it.

I wasn't entirely
convinced that I had it,

but I heard something
that afternoon.

Originality, melody, grace...

-Oh... [BREATH TREMBLING]
-[LAUGHS]

Come on. Come on, Larry. Stop it.
Come on, what's the matter with you?

You worked your whole
life for this night, Dick.

Nobody's worked harder.
And nobody deserves it more.

All right, thanks.
Thanks, Larry. Thank you.

All right, that's what
I wanted... Just go...

[SNIFFLES AND LAUGHS]
...enjoy your party.

-Hey, look at me. Look at me.
-Mmm-hmm?

We're going to do A
Connecticut Yankee, all new.

-Yeah, yeah.
-We're gonna write four or five new songs.

-I have ideas already.
-Right?

Yeah, yeah. And if I get some
pages down for Marco Polo,

can I send them over?

You have to ask me that? Larry,
I owe my professional life to you.

[SINGING] Summer journeys
to Niagara And to other places

Aggravate all our cares...

You remember we heard that
on the radio for the first time?

In your parents' living
room. Our first hit.

That was one of the most
astonishing moments of my life, Larry.

-I was 22.
-And I'm telling you, I swear to God,

our best work is
still ahead of us.

Yes, the new Connecticut Yankee!

Yeah, yeah. And bigger stuff.

-MAN: Dick, get up here.
-All right. I'm coming!

I mean, Marco Polo is
going to be a show about joy...

but a hard-earned joy,
an unsentimental joy.

-Something wrong with sentimental?
-What? It's too easy.

-Oklahoma! is too easy?
-[SPUTTERS]

The guy actually getting
the girl at the end is too easy?

You've just eliminated every
successful musical comedy...

-[CHUCKLES]
-...ever written, Larry.

Then it's too easy for me.

Did you hear the
audience tonight?

Yes.

Sixteen hundred people
didn't think it was too easy.

You're telling me
1,600 people are wrong?

I'm just saying...

that you and I can do something so
much more emotionally complicated.

We don't have to pander
to what audiences...

-Oscar and I are pandering?
-No. I didn't say that.

-Irving Berlin is pandering?
-I love Berlin.

-White Christmas is pandering?
-Well, I don't believe White Christmas.

-Okay.
-[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Well, maybe audiences
have changed.

Well, they still want to laugh.

They want to laugh,
but not in that way.

-Not in what way?
-In your way.

They want to laugh, but
they also want to cry a little.

They want to...
they want to feel.

HART: Hmm.

You're my oldest friend.

-[SIGHS WEARILY]
-[HESITATING] You're...

-you're unique.
-Hmm.

Sounds like you're
writing my obituary.

-I'm just saying.
-I'm right here, right now.

-Ready to work.
-Yeah?

HART: Hmm.

And you're willing to go
back to Doctors Hospital?

I don't need to go back
to Doctors Hospital,

and I don't need a
psychiatrist either.

-Thank you very much.
-We were just trying to help you, Larry.

Who's we? You and
Oscar? Help me?

Oscar? You think Oscar
had anything to do with it?

Oklahoma! is going to be
the biggest hit of your career.

-You don't know that. You don't know that.
-You got that asshole Kron

to manage my money.
Now I'm incapable...

I did that at the insistence
of your brother, Larry.

Teddy literally begged me...

Well, maybe you and
Teddy should write the lyrics.

I did write the lyrics.

[LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY]

What is that supposed to mean?

By Jupiter? Have you
conveniently blocked that out?

Blocked what out?

How Logan and I begged you
for extra choruses, extra verses,

and you were so drunk
that you didn't even show up.

So, yes, I had to
write the lyrics.

-You didn't write one fucking word...
-How would you know?

-...of that show.
-How would you know, Larry?

You weren't around to even...

You know what?

I'm actually not going
to argue with you tonight,

-if that's all right with you.
-I like to argue.

Well I don't. I don't.

Look, I am sorry.

I don't care if
somebody attacks me.

It doesn't mean anything to me.

But nobody can attack
my work. It is all I've got.

Your work is brilliant.
That's not the problem.

Your work has been brilliant
since the day I met you.

Do you still remember that?

You, standing there in your carpet
slippers and your stripy bathrobe?

[HART CHUCKLES]

Yeah, with the five o'clock
shadow at 11:00 a.m.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

I'll remember that till
the last day of my life.

[INHALES DEEPLY] Okay.

[SIGHS]

[LAUGHS]

-Larry, I got to go upstairs.
-I know.

-The whole company's waiting.
-Of course. Of course.

Four or five songs, yes?

I'm telling you, I'm
having ideas already!

A big comedy solo for Vivienne

about how she's killed off every
single one of her previous husbands.

Might be funny.

We can call it To
Keep Our Love Alive!

[GIGGLES]

-You okay, Larry?
-Mmm-hmm.

What happened to White?

-Left.
-"So soon?"

There was so much more
I wanted to say to him.

-Maybe he was an extra, too.
-[SIGHS SOFTLY]

One more?

Last one, Larry.

Do you know the
ineffectual blues?

That's because I
haven't written it yet.

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS] They should put
my picture on that bottle.

"The Whiskey That Made
Lorenz Hart Unemployable."

[SCOFFS] "Buy War Bonds."

[EXHALES]

You know, I've started
to hear things wrong.

The other night, I was
listening to this singer go on

about "her cigarette heart."

And I thought, "Now that
is an original metaphor,

"'My cigarette heart.'"

Then I realized she was
singing "My secret heart."

I can't remember
anything anymore either.

That should be the title
of my autobiography,

"Stop Me If I've Told
You This Already."

And we'll print the entire
text twice. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

ELIZABETH: No, I'm serious.
I've seen her do it before.

GEORGE: As long as there's
no dancing later on in the night.

[CHUCKLING]

ELIZABETH: You
better watch yourself...

My irreplaceable Elizabeth!

Larry!

-Do you like it?
-HART: It's...

Oscar Hammerstein
just said I was a gem!

He has such a way with words.

George, this is Lorenz Hart.

I am legitimately
honored to meet you.

Would you mind if I spoke to
Elizabeth alone for two minutes?

And then she's all yours.

It would be perfectly all right

as long as you promise me
your autograph before I go.

ELIZABETH: George
is a senior at Yale.

He's studying music, but
he wants to be a director.

A director. Well,
what's your name?

George Hill.

Here's my advice to you,
future director, George Hill.

Do you want my advice?

I'd be honored.

Be careful of love stories.

Think about friendship stories.

That's where the really
enduring stuff lives.

-Thank you. I'll remember that.
-HART: Hmm!

Catch up with you later, George.

My mother just gave me this.

I was really touched
she gave it to me.

My well-tempered clavicle.

Careful. My mother...

[SOFTLY] Okay. All right...

Sorry. Now, I know your
birthday isn't until November 19th.

I'm a scorpion.

I never doubted
that for a second.

Did you get the sheet
music I sent you?

Ah, I was so busy with exams, I
put them away, honestly, and...

And then I kind of
forgot about them.

But now I've got the
time. I promise you.

I'm going to get
a friend of mine

to play every single one
of those songs for me.

Take your time.

That's the wonderful
thing about art, isn't it?

It waits for you.

Thank you for all the
letters you wrote me.

I really enjoyed reading them.

My roommate
couldn't believe I was

actually corresponding
with Lorenz Hart.

I remember in Vermont,
you were drinking red wine.

Malbec. It's a big Yale drink.

You ask for the French
Malbec, and then you act

as if you can actually tell
which vineyard it came from.

-[BOTH CHUCKLE]
-Oh...

Don't mention Vermont
around my mother, okay?

She doesn't know anything
about our little getaway.

Actually, thank goodness.

She doesn't know about 90%
of what's going on in my life.

Well, I feel
privileged that I do.

Or that I did, back in August.

I've got much more stuff to
report on since then. [LAUGHS]

Well, tell me about the guys.
That's what I'm interested in.

[CLICKS TONGUE] Honestly, I'm
much smarter than most of them.

So I sort of sit back and watch
them trying to impress me.

It's pretty entertaining.

If I were a college guy, I
think I would be afraid of you.

This intelligent,
mercilessly observant,

wickedly unsentimental
beauty sitting there,

evaluating me from somewhere
behind those green eyes,

annotating all my gaucheries.

My God, I would be terrified.

Hey, I'm not that intimidating.

Tell me more about this Cooper.

This is embarrassing. [LAUGHS]

I love it when
you're embarrassed,

you get this scarlet blush
that washes up over you,

and a second later it's gone.

This one might last
considerably longer.

-I'd love to...
-Elizabeth. Hello, Larry.

I hope I'm not interrupting
anything too weighty.

Well, weighty affairs
will have to wait.

She's a gem, isn't she?

Please, Mr. Hammerstein.

I'll only bother
you for a moment.

Larry, I just wanted to say...

Well, firstly, I recognize this
must be a difficult night for you.

No, I'm a professional, Oscar.
We're both professionals,

we understand the
nature of our business.

Larry, did you
really like the show? I

don't think I do the
comedy numbers

half as well as you do.
They're not my strength.

I laughed my ass off. I
had to have it re-attached.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Larry, we're the same age,
but you were always the teacher.

-No, Oscar. I...
-No, your whole career,

-you showed us the way.
-Well, I doubt...

You liberated us all.

You made American songs
finally sound like American speech.

Stop. I dislike eulogies,
especially my own.

Oscar, tonight is your night.

A hit for you and Dick
is a hit for all of us.

People finally want
to go see shows again.

Real shows. Dick and I were
just tossing around a few ideas.

-Wonderful.
-Yeah, we have this idea for a big...

Marco Polo show... huge...

-Wow.
-...a kind of musical circus.

Dick's excited about it.

He said you're adapting Liliom.

Well, if we can
finagle the rights.

Sounds exciting.

-Elizabeth told me she's your protégé.
-Stop.

"She's the promised
kiss of springtime

that makes the lonely
winter seem long."

Oh, please.

-You wrote a great lyric.
-For a show that didn't run three months.

-I saw it twice.
-You...

You know what we're
talking about here, Stevie?

Very Warm for May.
Produced by Max Gordon.

Music by Jerome Kern.

Alvin Theatre. 59 performances.

[BOTH LAUGH]

This is my neighbor.
He's a kind of a

walking encyclopedia
of musical theater.

Well, I'm a kind of walking
pneumonia for musical theater.

-Nice to meet you.
-Pleasure to meet you.

He wants to write
musicals when he grows up.

Who's your favorite lyricist?

-Oscar.
-HART: Mmm-hmm.

Of course. And what
do you think of my work?

I like it. It's funny.

Thank you.

Can be a little sloppy at times.

OSCAR: He's very tired.
It's been a long day.

Come on, Stevie. It's a
long ride back to Doylestown.

-You want to go to the bathroom?
-I'm not tired.

He asked me what I
thought of his work.

"Weighty affairs will
just have to wait"?

I so regret not having children.

-Cooper.
-[SIGHS]

-I can't believe I'm telling you this.
-Tell me.

You have to remember, I've
had a hopeless crush on this guy

for over a year.

Hold this. Come here.

Renee, may I buy five
minutes of privacy, please?

Anything for you, Larry.

Thank you.

Tell me what he looks like,
I'm trying to visualize him.

Apollo? Blue eyes. Tall.

So, basically, the
skin on his back

-was flawless...
-[CLICKS TONGUE] Stop.

It's the night of your
birthday. Tell me everything.

-A group of my friends are taking...
-Boyfriends, girlfriends?

-Mixed.
-Okay.

Come on, Larry,
I'm a college lady.

[CHUCKLES]

So they're taking me to Mory's,
which is technically no women allowed,

but they smuggle us
up those backstairs

like so much
heavily-scented contraband,

and, of course, one of the
girls has brought along her date.

Cooper?

Which is both destroying
me and exhilarating me.

I mean, he's there. Near me.

The evening is getting late,

empty wine bottles
are filling up the table.

Half of us are underage,

but we're flirting
so shamelessly with

the waiter that
nobody seems to care.

-Drinking your French Malbec.
-Exactly.

I'm nothing if not
a good student.

That's why everybody loves you,

Larry. You're the best
listener I ever met.

That's because I have absolutely
no interest in myself whatsoever.

Back to your tale
of natal debauchery.

Empty wine bottles
filling the table...

-So it's late.
-Mmm-hmm.

-And Marjorie...
-The girl who came with Cooper?

She's left to go home and study.

Aww...

People are staggering
out one by one.

It's midnight.

And I find myself
sitting right next to him.

Take your time.

You know, there's no place
else on earth I'd rather be

than sitting right
here with you.

Oh, did you get my letter?
There's a party at my place tonight.

Oh, I think I've got to stay
here and help my mother...

It's not getting
started till late.

You'll have plenty of time
to work the room here.

I've got the Golden Gate Quartet
showing up. Promise me you'll come.

320 Central Park West.

You said you wanted to
design sets and costumes,

everybody in New York
theater is gonna be there.

Okay, back to Cooper.

-Okay.
-[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

We leave Mory's together.

It's a perfect November night.
A fingernail clipping of a moon.

He's got his arm around
me. We're both a little drunk,

stumbling in and out
of each other's arms.

He's wearing this red and green

flannel shirt with
the sleeves rolled up.

Not that you noticed.

He's looking good!

-And you?
-Um...

It's my birthday, right?

-I'm supposed to be looking good.
-Tasty.

So I'm leaning against
that flannel work shirt,

and I'm telling you,

I can smell the maleness
coming off of him.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

I remember thinking
that huge purple

letters should
have lit up the sky...

-"Desire."
-Okay.

Hold on one second.

I have to go find some ice-water
and pour it down my trousers.

You may need some extra ice.

We end up in the
basement of his fraternity,

in this tawdry
sort of derelict bar.

God only knows how many acts of
depravity have taken place down there.

And here comes one more.

Oh, yeah.

-[BOTH CHUCKLE]
-[ELIZABETH SIGHS]

So I've been watching
this guy for a year,

dreaming about him,
and now, here it is.

The night of my birthday,

the only light is coming
from this dim little lamp

with horses and jockeys
printed on the shade.

I mean, really, Larry,
what's a girl to do?

Happy birthday!

He begins to take
off his clothes.

[HART INHALES DEEPLY]

[COUGHS]

You really want to hear this?

Uh, I'm mildly interested.

It's humiliating.

'Cause basically
nothing happened.

Nothing?

Like you and me
at the lake house?

No.

That was a deliberate
decision we made, right?

Based on what? Rationality? I mean,
as rational as you and I ever get.

[LAUGHS]

But this...

[CLICKS TONGUE]
This was based on the

fact that he couldn't
get the rubber on.

Oh, no.

He tried.

-He tried again.
-No.

-I tried.
-Oh, stop. [CHUCKLES]

It was the worst 10
minutes of my life.

It felt like 10 hours.

Oh, I'm sorry.

And you know what
the worst part was?

He just wasn't there, you know?

He kept mumbling
that it was, um, the wine.

That, um...

[SIGHS] ...the rubber was too
small, if you can believe that.

[CHUCKLES]

And this whole time
what's clear to me

is that he just...
hasn't sufficiently...

I don't know what the
right word is. Maybe...

"he-just-doesn't-love-you-enough"
is the right word.

I mean, there's no way
around that one, is there?

When the girl loves the
guy with all of her heart,

and he just doesn't
return her feeling?

Do you have any idea
what that feels like?

"Nobody ever
loved me that much."

I brought into that basement
a year's worth of adoration,

yeah, studying his photograph,

memorizing his phone number.

And there he was,
this half-drunk junior

-who couldn't even pretend to love me...
-[SIGHS]

And... I wouldn't have
minded if there'd been...

some... passion underneath.

-[BOTH LAUGH]
-Or even empathy.

-[EXHALES DEEPLY]
-There was nothing.

Just... that lamp
with the horses on it.

[WHISPERS] You
deserve so much better.

Yeah.

I asked my roommate
about it the next morning,

you know, girl to girl.

She said that men sometimes can't
perform because they're too nervous.

I wish I could believe that to
feel a little bit better about myself.

But... [CLICKS TONGUE]

...he was not nervous.
Not in the least.

He had his eyes shut.

As if he were trying to dream me
into somebody he really wanted.

[SIGHS] I felt stupid.

I felt debased.

I felt furious at myself
that I could allow him

to make me feel so
worthless. [SIGHS]

[LAUGHING] We tried a
few creative alternatives.

Oh, no. [LAUGHS]

It got uglier and uglier.

Finally, he said, "Elizabeth,
I owe you a rain check."

And that...

That was my 20th birthday.

Ta-da.

Jesus wept.

But it gets worse.

I don't think I can take it.

Okay, I can take it.

But just tell me in
a way that doesn't

make me ashamed
to be a human being.

[SIGHS]

That's going to be difficult.

About a week later... [SIGHS]

...everybody's leaving
for Thanksgiving.

He gives me a call. Would I
like to have dinner with him?

-You know me. No pride.
-[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

I say, "Sure," and make my
way over to his fraternity again,

which sits under
this huge gingko tree.

The leaves have turned yellow,

the trunk of the tree
is black from the rain.

I'm thinking this is the most
beautiful thing I've ever seen.

I remember saying to myself,

[WHISPERS] "God is giving
you a second chance."

We go up to his room,

his roommate has
already left for the holiday.

The door clicks shut,

and suddenly...

there's no more
discussion about dinner.

Rain check cashed!

In spades.

I mean, it's suddenly pouring.

We're practically tearing
each other's clothes off.

There is no conversation.

And this time...

there is no difficulty.

Not the first time.
Not the second time.

Stop it.

He says to me, "Happy
belated birthday, Elizabeth."

Mmm.

And you want to
hear the unbelievable

ending to this
sordid little story?

That was the last
time I saw him.

That was November.
Over four months ago.

I was absolutely sure he'd call.
If only to have sex again, right?

No. Never.

I thought he'd write.

No.

So I call him, of
course. [SCOFFS]

HART: Mmm.

He couldn't get off
the phone fast enough.

[SIGHS]

So I wrote to him.

-A four-page typed letter. Single-spaced.
-Oh, no.

No response.

I tell myself it was like a
fever dream, you know?

And maybe the
fever finally broke.

And it all sounds
sane and sensible.

But you know something?

If he called me right
now, right this very second,

I'd drop everything
in my life and...

drive three hours,
drive 30 hours

just to spend one
more night with him.

What is the matter
with me, Larry?

Why would you drive 30 hours to
see someone who treated you like that?

Because I'm in love with him?

You are?

It's illogical.
Obsessional. Pathetic.

And this is not the first time
this has happened to me.

It keeps happening to me.

I feel like I can't
see people clearly.

I wrote a song once, years ago,

called The Heart is
Quicker Than the Eye.

It's not a great song,
but it's a good title.

And it's true, I think.

The head has nothing to
do with the madness of love.

[CHUCKLES] And...

It doesn't matter at all
about worthiness, does it?

We invest our hearts
in worthless stocks.

And we know they're worthless.

But we cling to them
like little children

clutching their
little stuffed bears.

[SIGHING] Oh, Elizabeth.

Tell me truthfully.

How do you feel about me?

How do you mean?

I mean,

at the lake house, with the
light burning off the water,

we talked through
half the night,

and I touched your shoulder...

Did you actually love
me a little bit that night?

You know I love you, Larry.

You do?

Just... not that way.

You said you'd drive
30 hours to see Cooper.

How many hours would
you drive to see me?

Oh. [LAUGHS] My
hands are shaking.

[HART MUMBLES]

I feel something wiser
and deeper for you.

-Mmm. Thank you.
-Respect.

Gratitude for the generosity
and selflessness you've shown me.

No one has ever been more
interested in my life than you have.

I don't deserve a friendship like
yours. I am so grateful for you.

I will be grateful forever.

I'm grateful to you,
too, for resurrecting me.

-[KNOCK ON DOOR]
-Stop.

RENEE: Larry! There's
people out here.

[SPUTTERS] One second!

-Can I ask you something?
-[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Something that's probably
too personal for me to ask?

Too personal is the only
thing that I'm interested in.

Uh... My mother...

You know, she works for the
Guild, she knows everybody.

So she saw us spending
time together last summer...

I see where this is headed.

She said to me... I don't... I
don't know how to say this.

Just say it.

Okay.

She said to me, more than once,

"Elizabeth, not only
is he twice your age,

"but I don't think his
primary interest is women."

What did you say?

I said, "Look, Mother,
I know what I know.

"And I know what
we're both feeling."

Mmm-hmm. What
are we both feeling?

"Irrational adoration?"

And what may I ask
does your mother

think she knows of
my primary interest?

I'm sorry. I shouldn't
have said anything.

Please forgive me.

To all our mothers. May
they remain mercifully silent.

I apologize. That was
stupid of me to have asked.

And I do know what I
know, and what I feel.

Here's what you tell
that mother of yours,

as she sits by the fire,

wistfully counting up her
royalties from Oklahoma!

You tell her that Larry
Hart is drunk with beauty.

And italicize the word "drunk."

Drunk with beauty,
wherever he finds it.

In men, in women, in
the smell of cigar stores,

in the impossible beauty
of a 20-year-old poet

with pale green eyes and two
tiny freckles on her left cheek.

Are you all right?

It's... [INHALES DEEPLY]

-...my cigarette heart.
-[DOOR OPENS]

Larry, Dick Rodgers
is looking for his coat.

HART: Coming.

Introduce me?

[GRUNTING] Thank you, Renee.

Wonderful, thank you so much.

Dick, I want to introduce you to
my protégé, Elizabeth Weiland.

Your protégé?

-Hello.
-Hello.

Well, you've got yourself a
damn good role model there

if you can stay away
from the bourbon.

Mmm. She's interested in writing
and set design and costumes.

Okay, really?

Mr. Rodgers, the show tonight,

I thought it was magnificent.

Well, thank you.

It was as perfect a musical
show as I've ever seen.

Well, that's a
lovely compliment.

Your mother's with
the Guild, am I right?

-Yes, Theresa Weiland.
-Yeah, Theresa, yeah.

-Right, so you've seen a lot of shows.
-Too many shows.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Yeah.

I know what you mean.

But tonight what I saw was what
I'd always hoped a show might be.

Uplifting. Smart. Magical.

Larry, this is the
most perceptive young

woman you've ever
introduced me to.

[HART CHUCKLES]

-I've had a good teacher.
-HART: Mmm-hmm.

So, what do you write?

At this point, poetry mostly.

It's very strong.

And you do set design, too?

-I'm studying.
-RODGERS: Right.

Well, I'd love to... read
some of your poems.

Uh... See your sketches. This is
my... This is my private number.

I'm flattered.

I haven't seen Dorothy around.
Is... Is... Is your wife here?

No, she's headed back to the

apartment. We're all
going to meet up there

to look at the late
reviews, Larry.

Yeah, so I'd love for
you to join us, Elizabeth.

It would be refreshing
to have someone

of the younger
generation amongst us.

And maybe you can
explain to me, Elizabeth,

why exactly the young
girls scream over Sinatra.

I don't scream over Sinatra.

No, she screams under Sinatra.

Okay, Larry!

[ALL LAUGHING]

Larry, of course,
you're welcome to come.

Oh, I'm going to try
to make it, I'm just

throwing a little
soirée over at my place.

I've got the Golden
Gate Quartet coming...

Well, I can't compete with
Larry in the soirée department.

-I'd love to stop over.
-You would?

MAN: Dick, you coming?

Yep, yep.

Do you have a ride?

You know what, I can
take her in a cab later.

We're going right now if
you want to come with us?

-I'd love to.
-RODGERS: Great.

Just let me inform my mom.

The dutiful daughter.

[RODGERS CHUCKLES]

RODGERS: Wow. She
is... She is so lovely, right?

She's really striking.

Are you... Are you and she...

Oh, no, no. I mean,
I'm in love with her,

but, uh, everybody's
in love with her.

Just not that way.

Okay.

HART: Hmm.

[HART SIGHS SOFTLY]

So we'll see you
later on tonight?

Absolutely.

[CHUCKLES] Mmm-hmm.

Hmm.

Thank you for everything.

Mr. Rodgers.

Miss Weiland.

Thank you.

And we'll see you
later, Larry, right?

"With a song in my heart, I
behold your adorable face!"

[INHALES DEEPLY]

You ever meet someone,
and you know instantly

that both your lives are going
to be irretrievably altered?

Just as I suspected.
You are a sentimentalist.

[HART LAUGHS]

When do you get off work?

I got to lock this joint up.

Ah, what about you, Knuckles,
you're done here, right?

Not yet.

Oh, 'cause I am throwing an
enormous party at my place tonight.

[SIGHS]

I forgot to give
her the presents.

[SIGHS]

I'm having such trouble
with sleeves recently.

I have arthritis
in this shoulder.

I'm going to have to
start wearing a cloak.

I mean it. Single-handedly,
I'm going to bring back the cloak.

[HART SIGHS]

[CLICKS TONGUE]

You're going to see me on
opening nights with a top hat

and a cloak, flitting through
the fog with a silver-tipped cane.

You boys are
coming tonight, right?

She's going to be there.
I'm telling you, she will.

She'll arrive late.

And get this, 'cause this
is the remarkable part,

sometime late, maybe
around 5:00 a.m.,

after a little too much Malbec,

she's going to
turn to me and say,

"Hey, Larry, what
are you reading?

"Hey, Larry, when's
your birthday?"

For the first time in her life,

she's going to be
interested in me.

It has to happen
sometime, right?

All the other guys
have disappointed her.

But I never will. I'm just...

a little touch of
Larry in the night.

Knuckles. Some travelin' music.

[PLAYING PIANO]

MORTY: [SINGING] Blue moon

You saw me standing alone

Wise guy.

Without a dream in my heart

Without a love of my own

Well, it's a helluva
lot better than The

Surrey With the
Fucking Fringe On Top.

Larry, you coming
uptown to Dick's with us?

Oh, no, you go on ahead,
I'll be up there later.

MORTY AND RENEE: [SINGING]
You knew just what I was there for

You heard me saying a prayer for

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Someone I really could care for

That's not bad. Triple feminine
rhymes, and they all make sense.

MORTY: [SINGING] And then
suddenly you appeared before me

MORTY AND RENEE: [SINGING]
The only one my arms will ever hold

And I heard somebody whisper

Please adore me

And when I looked The
moon had turned to gold

Blue moon

Larry, I think this is the
beginning of a beautiful friendship.

"Isn't it romantic?"

Not really, no.

You know, it wasn't even
supposed to be called Blue Moon.

I called it The
Bad in Every Man.

We wrote it for this movie,
Manhattan Melodrama.

Jack Robbins, formerly
"Rabinowitz," he

had his name
circumcised over at MGM,

he hears the song, he
calls us into his office,

he lowers his pastrami, says...

[IN NASAL VOICE]
"Dick, I love the melody.

"Strong as anything
you've ever written.

"But, Larry, those words,
they're too artsy-fartsy!

"They're not too
artsy-fartsy for

me. I know how
brilliant you guys are.

"But you have to write for
the schmucks in the dark.

"Nobody's going
to sing that lyric."

[IN NORMAL VOICE] So I
said, "What's wrong with it?"

He said... [IN NASAL VOICE] "I
can't even remember the fucking title!

"Boys, give me
something I can promote."

[IN NORMAL VOICE] So I say,
"What do you want me to call it?"

Blue Moon?

Punchline, biggest
hit we ever wrote.

[SOULFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

[THIS FUNNY WORLD PLAYING]

[MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING]