All language subtitles for Will & Grace (1998) - S01E01 - Love and Marriage 1080p WEBDL h264 AAC 2.0

[theme music]

- What are you doing?
- I'm in bed.

- Come over.
- Will, I can't.

Come on, Grace.
You know you want to.

- Of course I want to, but--
- It's gonna be a good one.

- I can feel it.
- It's always good, still--

Well, if you're not gonna come
over, do you want me to, uh...

talk you through it?

Tsk, it's tempting, but I think
I'll watch "ER" here.

Another night alone
with my clicker.

Oh, is that what the kids
are callin' it?

I went back to the sale today.

Yeah? Did you get that black
flowy thing?

No, you were right. It's too
Stevie Nicks: "The Heavy Years."

Eriq La Salle just smiled.

- Really?
- No.

Will: Did you buy anything?

Yeah, I got a great camisole.

Yeah? Sexy?

I'm going to sleep.

Ask me in the morning.

- Was that Danny?
- Mm-hm, jealous?

Honey, I don't need your man.

I got George Clooney.

Sorry, babe,
he doesn't bat for your team.

Well, he hasn't seen me pitch.

Okay.
Say, "Good night, Gracie."

Good night, Gracie.

[instrumental music]

It's to you, Jack.

Give me a minute,
please? Okay?

♪ A room without windows

♪ A room without doors

It's to you, Jack.

Give me a minute, please?

Wow!

♪ A room where no guy
but I can spy that ♪

[humming]

No, not gonna risk it this time.

Four cards, please.

Here's my ace.

Jack, now that you're moving in.

- Can I make one small request?
- What's that?

Change everything
about your personality.

[laughs]
I get it, comedy.

You didn't tell me
Jack was moving in with you.

Not moving in,
he's just staying with me

until his apartment's finished.

[humming]

Oh, I know that one, I know.
Uh...

♪ Did he need a stronger hand
did he need a ♪

Jack!

He's not humming your intro.

Okay, that's just a straight
guy's way of thinking

that you and I could
ever be a couple.

Okay, first of all,
Will should only be so lucky.

Okay, so, let's just clear
that right up.

Second of all, you don't
even know me that well.

Why would you just assume
that I was gay?

[laughing]

Are you finished.

Okay, F-Y-l, folks,
most people that meet me

do not know that I am gay.

Jack, blind and deaf people
know you're gay.

Dead people know you're gay.

- Can we play poker?
- Yes. Come on, who's in?

I'm in for 10.

- I'm fine. Keep playing.
- Grace?

Oh, look, it's Sporty Spice.

What did-- did you and Danny
have a fight?

Yeah, but I-- I don't wanna
talk about it right now.

I can't even think straight.

That's funny, neither can Jack.

Grace, did you know
I was gay when you met me?

My dog knew.

So the fabrics never came in

and I wasn't able
to make the presentation.

Diamond Interiors got the job.

Oh, I'm sorry.
What a disappointment.

Thank you. See, that's all I
wanted to hear, but Danny said,

"Well, when you put everything
off till the last minute."

- Ooh.
- Yeah.

And I lost it.

I started screaming,
"Why can't you

just let me have my feelings?"

Grace, that is so
Barbara De Angelis,

"Making Love Work."

- I know, wasn't it?
- Yeah.

And then he says, get this.

"You don't have
to get hysterical.

You sound just like
your mother."

If you were on "Jerry Springer,"

that's the minute you'd jump out
of your chair.

- Yeah. Can you believe that?
- Mm.

You're staying here tonight.
Go wash your face.

I'll make up your bed.

"You sound just
like your mother."

What kind of person says that?

The kind of person
you should've dumped a year ago.

Grace: What?

I said, I hear they're
re-releasing "Vertigo."

Grace: "You sound
just like your mother."

When you wanna push someone's
buttons, that'll do it.

- Hey, roomie!
- Unh!

Jack, you-- you can't
move in tonight.

What?

Grace is very upset. I told her
she could stay here tonight.

- You move in tomorrow, okay?
- Okay, that's interesting.

You'd think maybe you could
have told me this,

oh, I don't know, before
I packed up my entire life!

You don't understand,
Grace has had a really...

What's in the hat box?
Your tiara?

[laughs]
Look, Guapo, he made a funny.

Shut up, Will!

I just schlepped all the way
over here from the East Side

and you know how much Guapo
hates riding in taxis.

Okay.

Okay, take it easy, Jack.

You sound
just like your mother.

[gasping]

Crossing the line.

Okay, you nasty, bitter,
lonely, balding man.

I don't need this crap
from you, Will.

You know what?
I just don't need it.

- What time tomorrow?
- Eightish.

Fine.

You're my lawyer.
You tell me.

What have I got to do
to buy this company?

Well, first, we've gotta
get something called

the "Hart-Scott-Rodino
Antitrust" clearance

and then we can negotiate
standstills and lock ups.

Naturally, that's after
we do due diligence.

What the hell is
"Do-do diligence?"

No, Harlan, after we do,
due diligence.

Doesn't matter
how slow you say it, Will.

It's still "Do-do", isn't it?

I just wanna know what it means.

It's just crap
that lawyers deal with.

Harlan, I'll handle it.

I've been representing
your corporation

for five years now, remember?

I know, but my wife's been

bugging me about
the business lately.

She wants me to be
a little more hands-on.

You sure she's talking
about the business?

[laughing]

Yeah, she's talking
about the business.

But I trust you, Will,
so you do that "Do-do"

that you do so well.

[intercom buzzes]

Woman: Will, it's Grace
on line one.

Hey.

Can I stay at your apartment
again tonight?

Will: Of course,
as long as you want.

- What are you doing?
- I'm looking for tissues.

Will: Have your assistant
get them for you.

- She's late again.
- Oh, fire her already.

I'm not gonna fire Karen.

Her social contacts
keep my business afloat.

Will: Why does she even work?

I mean, isn't she worth
like a gazillion dollars?

She feels working
keeps her down to Earth.

Oh, I know, I'm late.

My driver had another
bronchial incident.

It was disgusting.
I had to raise the partition.

But that's no excuse,
I should be punished.

I'm writing you a check.

Will: Karen, tell Grace
she should fire you.

Grace, tell Will to redirect
his anger at his mother

where it belongs, oops.

- Call me later.
- Bye.

Alright, honey.
There you go.

Guilt be gone.

Karen, I don't want a check.
I want assistance.

I'm the boss,
I give you checks.

Yes, you do, honey,
and I love them, I do.

You know, I keep them all
right here in this box.

So, what else?

[sighs]
Danny and I got into a fight.

Oh, honey, call him and make up.

Why would I do that?
It wasn't my fault.

Well, in the long run
it doesn't matter.

I don't know that
there's gonna be a long run.

Uh, Grace, you're...

You're what? 40?

I'll be 31 next month.

So, I rounded up.

Honey, Danny is a good catch.

You've been living together for
a year. Close the deal already.

[phone ringing]

I'm serious, Grace,
pick up the pace.

I'm serious, Karen,
pick up the phone.

Oh.

[instrumental music]

So, Will, have you seen Michael
since you two broke up?

- Uh.
- No, he hasn't, but I have.

Michael's not doing well.
He got fat, he's depressed.

Cheap haircuts, not good.
Actually, it's very sad.

What are you talking about?
I just saw him. Looks great.

Uh, Rob, you're dismissed.

- Thanks for trying, sweetie.
- His haircut really was awful.

I know. You know what?

I think it's time
for "$25,000 Pyramid."

- Rob: Hello!
- Woman: Alright!

So, Will, are you gonna
keep the place?

Well, I thought it was gonna
be a little too expensive

so I told Jack that-- Oh, no.
[knock on door]

Hi, honey, I'm home.

Oh, are we entertaining?
Welcome.

Jack, I meant
to call you today--

- Don't even!
- Wait, wait.

I can stay at Rob
and Ellen's tonight.

No, you can't, Grace,
because apparently, you matter.

How about that?

Jack, I am so sorry.
I just--

Are bandanas back in?
'Cause I didn't get that memo.

Ha, ha-ha,
ha, ha, ha, ha.

Let me tell you something,
Will Truman.

Okay, I don't need
to live here, alright?

And you know what?
Guess who loses?

Hello! You do.

Because I could have turned you
into a human being

instead of this rude,
self-absorbed

getting chunkier every day,
oops, did that slip out?

Thing that you are.

- What time tomorrow?
- Eightish.

Fine.

- Let's play "The Pyramid."
- Ooh.

- Ellen: Okay, you two first.
- Okay, you give, I'll receive.

Just as God intended it.

- Okay, Ellen's timing.
- Got it.

Here's your first subject. Go!

Okay, okay.

Uh, oh, Driftwood.
Uh, John Wayne.

- You're parents' marriage.
- Things that are dead.

Yes.

Uh, my one-night stand
on Fire Island.

- Latin things.
- Good.

Uh, uh, the-- the postcard
I sent you from Italy.

"Everybody Hurts" by REM.

- Oh, things that make you cry.
- Yes.

- Um, Professor Gopnik's teeth.
- Things that are yellow.

Yes.

A-- a-- a cane. A, a railing.

Huh? Oh, come on,
give me another clue.

Eh, each other.

- Things that you lean on.
- That's it.

Yeah!

You guys...

That was amazing.

Grace, you and Danny
never do this well when we play.

I know. I'm gonna
break up with him.

It's just time.

My relationship has reached
a fork in the road,

and ending it with Danny
is the right

prong.

Excuse me.

[door closing]

Uh, things that bring a dinner
party to a crashing halt?

- So, how'd it go?
- Not like I thought.

Aw, Gracie, I'm sorry.

But you know,
you give it some time--

No, Will,
he proposed.

[instrumental music]

Grace Adler Design?

Oh, my God,
would you look at that?

Now, who in the world
would be sending--

Oh, carnations,
they must be for you.

Oh, yeah, they're from Danny.
Oh, well, isn't he a sweetheart?

Uh-- Oh, my.
Well.

Surprised you're still walking.

Give me that.

[laughing]

Oh, he is so great.

I can't believe
I ever doubted he was the one.

Bon appetite.

So, what am I gonna
do about Grace?

What's the big deal?
Why don't you--

Could I get a skouch more
of gravy? It's a little dry.

If you don't like Danny, I mean
just tell her it's a bad idea.

I don't tell people who
to marry.

Okay, you always tell me what
you think of the men I date.

I'm talking about marriage,
not Rudy the Jewish cowboy

you met on the internet.

Shalom, my lonesome prairie dog.

[scoffs]

Look, she's
your best friend, Will.

You have to tell her
what you think.

- Be honest.
- I can't.

Before my brother married Ginny

he asked me what
I honestly thought of her.

I told him, she's morose,
and controlling and icy.

Well, they got married anyway.

Now she hates me and my brother
and I don't talk.

I couldn't handle
losing Grace like that.

Mm.

You know, I'm gonna call
Rudy again.

Oh, God, I'm sorry,
but more importantly

that's terrible about you
and your brother, it's awful.

No, no, no. Do you have
any mineral water? Sulfites.

So, when are you moving in?

Well, I'm gonna be away
on business for a while and--

Wait, what-- what--
What business?

Business. I have business

and clients
and work-related... business.

How is the work-related
client business these days?

What is this?
Why do you have to be so mean?

Because you love it,
and I love you

and-- and you love gel.

And you have a home here
when you get back.

You see. You could be a very
great guy when you wanna be.

- Well, I gotta be nicer to you.
- Yes, you do.

Because you are a good friend.

Yes, I am.

I know it's gotta be
rough on you.

Will, don't.

Being trapped in
a man's body like that.

- Hi.
- Hey.

- What are you watching?
- "Pop-Up Video."

Turns out, Fiona Apple doesn't
particularly like apples.

Apple Brown Betty was invented
by a guy named Darren

and get this, Bobby Darren's dog
was named Fiona.

You get? What are the odds
of that?

- I said, "Yes."
- What?

I said, "Yes."

Oh, my God.

[chuckles]
Oh, my God!

Ha! Come here!

[laughing]

Wow. Let's have
a look at that ring.

Oh, it's beautiful.

When is the stone
being put in?

I knew you were gonna say that.

I-- Well, do--
You know, I'm-- I'm thirsty.

What?

What? What?
I'm-- I'm happy for you.

Lying.
Lying man talking.

Grace, stop it.
I am happy for you.

I-- I want you two to have
a great life together.

You do?

Uh, thank God.

I was so worried
coming over here.

So I have your blessing then?

[sighs]

Yes.

[laughs]

- I love you.
- Love you.

Okay!

- I've gotta go tell my family.
- Grace, don't.

I have to, Will,
they're paying.

No, I mean,
don't marry Danny.

What?

[sighs]

Honey, I gotta be honest.

This, this guy's
not enough for you.

I mean, you're--
you're passionate

and you're-- you're creative
and beautiful

and perfect, and this guy,
I mean--

You should be with someone
more-- somebody else.

I mean, he's not funny.

He doesn't know what
your favorite flower is.

He's passive-aggressive.

The man high-five's you
after sex, Grace.

You're so afraid you're
never gonna get married

you can't even see
how wrong he is for you.

I mean, think about it.

If you really believed
he was the one

would you be asking me
for my blessing?

Go to hell, Will.

No, Rosario.

Por-- por favor, honey,
listen to me for a second, okay?

Take Olivia and Mason

to la store de los toys.

- Where's Grace?
- Oh, honey, thank God.

How do you say toy store
in Spanish?

- Tienda de juguetes.
- Mm-hm, thanks.

F-A-Oyay-Schwartzo.

Si, si, Rosario.
Gracias. Ola.

I haven't slept. I-- I can't get
any work done. Where is she?

Will, just stop right there.

I cannot tell you anything.
It's a secret.

- What is?
- She's at City Hall.

Getting married.
Oh, devil. Ugh!

What?
What about the big wedding?

Well, she thought it was best
to get it over with quickly

not to make a big to-do,
and I say "Brava!"

- Grace--
- Oh, look who's here.

- I'm sorry.
- Oh.

- It's a little late for that.
- No, I'm here, Grace.

I'm here to support
your marriage.

- There is no marriage.
- What?

There is no marriage!

And you wanna know why?

Because my best friend

that would be the part
you're supposed to play.

My best friend
dropped a bomb of

pooh on my head.

Oh, honey, I--

I mean, I was fine.

I was getting married,
and then you come along.

You come and you poison the--

With the-- with the--
the-- thorns

from the-- the flower--

You know, I had this metaphor
worked out earlier

but I'm just
very upset right now.

Gracie, I just want you
to be happy.

No, Will, you want me
to be alone like you.

- Is that the way you see this?
- Yes.

It's interesting,
because I, uh,

never thought of myself
as being alone.

[door slams]

Well, that was a little harsh.

- Good.
- Uh, yes-- yes! Yes it is.

He's a bad person, very bad.

Grace, I think it's time
for a couple of blue bippies.

I don't want any pills.

They're not for you honey,
they're for me.

You know, marriage is, what?

Marriage is...

Marriage is. Okay? What the
hell, that's all you need to--

Grace, well...

Well, she's gone.
[chuckles]

She's gone,
and I'm sitting here talking

to myself like a crazy person.

Oh, my God, listen to me,
I'm still doing it.

[instrumental music]

Will.

I am-- I am so sorry

for what I said back there.

I know.

It was mean, but I know.

[sighs]

This morning, on the way
to the ceremony

Danny looked at me and said

"I can't wait to spend
the rest of my life with you."

And I turned to him and said

"You know the limo
has a phone?"

It wasn't right.

He was a smart
attractive man who loved me

and who I loved, by the way.

Why wasn't it right?

Sweetie...

remember in college,
we saw that French film

about a man and a woman that
were perfect for one another

but they kept missing
each other.

And in-- in the last scene,
they meet on a plane

because that's the way
it was destined to be.

Remember? And you said...

"That's gonna be me."

Gracie, you're just
in the middle of your movie.

Danny was a plot point.

A nice, decent, post-coital
high-fiving plot point.

There's still time, you know.
Go get some Raisinettes.

- I like Red Vines.
- Whatever you want.

The point is, it's not over.

If your movie's
gonna have a happy ending,

you just have to see it through.

Oh, God.

- Come here.
- Unh-unh.

- No.
- What?

What do you say
we go get a drink?

Yes!

What is with that dress?

Oh, give me a break. I had five
minutes to prepare for this.

Still.

[instrumental music]

Hey, What about a toast
to your lovely new bride?

All: Yeah!

Here's to the ball and chain.

If she makes it
through the night, ba-bing,

I think I'll keep her.

Wait...my turn.

To my Will.

You are my hero,
and my soulmate.

And I'm a better woman
for loving you.

All: Aw!

Hey, hey, hey.
Come on, you two.

- How's about a kiss?
- Yeah!

All: Kiss, kiss, kiss...

- Nothing? Anything?
- Sorry, no, it's, hm--

[theme music]