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1
00:00:13,815 --> 00:00:16,095
[Man on radio]
You're with Ditzy and Riptug
2
00:00:16,096 --> 00:00:18,534
on this Tuesday morning,
smashing out the hits.
3
00:00:18,535 --> 00:00:21,375
Hey, who remembers
this banger from 1986?
4
00:00:21,376 --> 00:00:23,694
# Dave Dobbyn with Herbs'
"Slice of Heaven" #
5
00:00:23,695 --> 00:00:24,774
[Song stops abruptly]
6
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:27,455
Um, you... you know,
7
00:00:27,535 --> 00:00:30,175
you don't have to stay for this.
8
00:00:30,255 --> 00:00:31,305
- What? No. No.
- Yeah.
9
00:00:31,375 --> 00:00:33,535
I want to meet
the other love of your life.
10
00:00:33,615 --> 00:00:35,535
Oh, no, you don't.
Don't say that.
11
00:00:35,615 --> 00:00:37,895
- No. I mean... I mean Colin.
- Oh!
12
00:00:37,975 --> 00:00:39,025
Yes.
13
00:00:39,055 --> 00:00:40,575
This is important to you,
14
00:00:40,655 --> 00:00:42,455
you know,
so it's important to me.
15
00:00:42,456 --> 00:00:44,254
- [David] Just here?
- Yeah.
16
00:00:44,255 --> 00:00:45,975
- Are we gonna fit?
- Uh, yeah.
17
00:00:46,055 --> 00:00:48,575
There's so much room.
18
00:00:48,655 --> 00:00:49,975
We made it!
19
00:00:50,055 --> 00:00:52,095
Hey, thank you for being, like,
20
00:00:52,175 --> 00:00:54,375
the most patient,
the most beautiful,
21
00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:56,975
the most sexiest
driving teacher ever.
22
00:00:57,055 --> 00:00:59,095
- [Ashley giggles]
- I love you.
23
00:00:59,175 --> 00:01:01,975
Yeah, you too. Shall we go?
24
00:01:01,976 --> 00:01:03,294
Yeah, you go, I've just gotta do
25
00:01:03,295 --> 00:01:05,254
a couple of things
for my allergies, pre-Colin.
26
00:01:05,255 --> 00:01:06,815
- Oh.
- Yeah.
27
00:01:06,895 --> 00:01:08,295
Okay.
28
00:01:08,375 --> 00:01:10,975
- I'll see ya!
- Okay.
29
00:01:11,055 --> 00:01:12,105
Love you...
30
00:01:12,175 --> 00:01:14,175
[Dog barks in distance]
31
00:01:14,806 --> 00:01:16,894
[Dog barks]
32
00:01:16,895 --> 00:01:19,895
[Romantic music]
33
00:01:20,006 --> 00:01:22,054
Hi.
34
00:01:22,055 --> 00:01:23,255
[Giggles]
35
00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:25,895
Hi!
36
00:01:26,895 --> 00:01:28,855
Hey, there she is. There she is.
37
00:01:30,615 --> 00:01:32,055
Hi.
38
00:01:33,055 --> 00:01:34,145
[Colin whines]
Yeah.
39
00:01:35,055 --> 00:01:36,935
[Wheels squeak]
40
00:01:37,015 --> 00:01:39,775
Good boy! Good boy!
41
00:01:39,855 --> 00:01:42,255
I missed you so much! I did!
42
00:01:42,335 --> 00:01:44,135
Oh, I did. I missed you!
43
00:01:44,215 --> 00:01:46,295
- Hey!
- Missed you!
44
00:01:46,375 --> 00:01:48,975
- Ooh. Hey!
- I think he remembers you.
45
00:01:49,055 --> 00:01:50,975
Oh, I hope so.
46
00:01:51,055 --> 00:01:52,105
God.
47
00:01:52,175 --> 00:01:54,225
- Oh. Uh-oh. Don't turn around.
- What is it?
48
00:01:54,226 --> 00:01:56,894
Nothing. Just don't turn around.
It's a weird guy, weird guy.
49
00:01:56,895 --> 00:01:57,975
Shall we laugh?
50
00:01:58,055 --> 00:02:00,055
[Both laugh falsely]
51
00:02:00,135 --> 00:02:01,975
Anyway, should probably go now.
52
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,255
- Ha-ha!
- Ahoy there!
53
00:02:03,335 --> 00:02:05,015
Ahoy, me hearty! He's coming.
54
00:02:05,095 --> 00:02:06,535
- Arr!
- David? Oh.
55
00:02:06,536 --> 00:02:08,054
- What are you wearing? Sorry.
- Hi.
56
00:02:08,055 --> 00:02:10,054
Gordon, this is David,
allergic to dogs.
57
00:02:10,055 --> 00:02:11,054
- Gordon.
- Hey!
58
00:02:11,055 --> 00:02:12,614
G'day.
Good to meet you, finally.
59
00:02:12,615 --> 00:02:15,175
- David. Hello.
- Hey. How you doing?
60
00:02:15,255 --> 00:02:16,825
- Good.
- Sorry about the get-up.
61
00:02:16,855 --> 00:02:17,905
I'm just, um...
62
00:02:17,906 --> 00:02:19,294
I'm trying to limit the contact
63
00:02:19,295 --> 00:02:21,055
with, uh, the dander in the fur.
64
00:02:21,135 --> 00:02:22,895
- That's really toxic.
- The...
65
00:02:22,896 --> 00:02:24,054
- The dander.
- The dander?
66
00:02:24,055 --> 00:02:25,054
- [David] Yeah.
- Oh.
67
00:02:25,055 --> 00:02:26,374
- And the saliva.
- Oh, right.
68
00:02:26,375 --> 00:02:28,655
Both really, um,
get to me, so...
69
00:02:28,735 --> 00:02:29,975
Did you need all that?
70
00:02:29,976 --> 00:02:31,134
Yeah, I'm just trying to be...
71
00:02:31,135 --> 00:02:32,334
- This is him, is it?
- Yes.
72
00:02:32,335 --> 00:02:34,495
- This is the famous Colin.
- Hello, Colin!
73
00:02:34,496 --> 00:02:36,054
- [Laughs]
- He's not that scary.
74
00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:37,215
No!
75
00:02:37,295 --> 00:02:38,815
- Hi!
- [Ashley] Okay.
76
00:02:38,816 --> 00:02:40,134
Oh, you don't have to touch him.
77
00:02:40,135 --> 00:02:41,454
- Don't worry about it.
- [Splutters]
78
00:02:41,455 --> 00:02:43,015
Don't push yourself, you know?
79
00:02:43,055 --> 00:02:44,105
Okay.
Oh, no!
80
00:02:44,106 --> 00:02:46,134
- What's wrong?
- You right?
81
00:02:46,135 --> 00:02:47,374
- It's happening.
- [Gordon] Oh, Jesus.
82
00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:49,135
[David] I knew it. Oh, God!
83
00:02:49,215 --> 00:02:50,265
[David exhales]
84
00:02:50,335 --> 00:02:51,975
Darl, are you all right?
85
00:02:52,055 --> 00:02:53,105
Uh...
86
00:02:53,135 --> 00:02:54,535
[Water squirts]
87
00:02:54,615 --> 00:02:55,975
[David groans]
88
00:02:56,055 --> 00:02:57,105
[Gargles]
89
00:02:58,055 --> 00:02:59,975
It's okay.
I'm just gonna be over here.
90
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,935
- Yeah.
- No worries.
91
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,695
He must have a lot of dander.
92
00:03:03,775 --> 00:03:05,575
[Gordon] Yeah, the dander.
93
00:03:07,135 --> 00:03:09,135
Don't. He's rea...
He's really allergic.
94
00:03:09,215 --> 00:03:10,855
I didn't say anything.
He's nice.
95
00:03:10,935 --> 00:03:12,215
He is really sweet, yeah.
96
00:03:12,216 --> 00:03:15,054
- You been together long or...?
- Yeah, two and a half years.
97
00:03:15,055 --> 00:03:16,655
Okay. Oh, wow. Serious.
98
00:03:16,735 --> 00:03:18,975
Yeah, it's pretty ser...
pretty serious.
99
00:03:18,976 --> 00:03:20,054
- All right.
- How about you?
100
00:03:20,055 --> 00:03:21,295
Do you have a...
101
00:03:21,296 --> 00:03:23,054
[Comical voice]
..girlfriend, boyfriend?
102
00:03:23,055 --> 00:03:25,054
Uh, me? Yeah.
Yeah, I've got a girlfriend.
103
00:03:25,055 --> 00:03:26,054
[Regular voice] Oh, really?
104
00:03:26,055 --> 00:03:27,975
- Ha-ha. Wow.
- Yeah.
105
00:03:28,055 --> 00:03:29,855
Uh, Chelsea, she's a lawyer.
106
00:03:29,856 --> 00:03:31,054
Uh, been together about a year.
107
00:03:31,055 --> 00:03:32,094
This is good!
108
00:03:32,095 --> 00:03:34,145
Yeah, you've got a girlfriend.
I've got a...
109
00:03:34,146 --> 00:03:35,174
Beekeeper.
110
00:03:35,175 --> 00:03:36,255
- Don't.
- Sorry.
111
00:03:36,335 --> 00:03:37,975
I'm just saying, this is good.
112
00:03:38,055 --> 00:03:39,695
I'm relieved, actually.
113
00:03:39,696 --> 00:03:40,774
- Oh.
- You've got...
114
00:03:40,775 --> 00:03:42,574
Yeah, we can be friends.
We can be mates.
115
00:03:42,575 --> 00:03:44,135
- So now that we are mates...
- Yes.
116
00:03:44,215 --> 00:03:46,815
..um, why don't you guys
come to my birthday party?
117
00:03:46,816 --> 00:03:49,094
- Oh, is it your birthday?
- Yeah, in a few days. Yeah.
118
00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:51,054
And, uh, I know
we never got to my birthday
119
00:03:51,055 --> 00:03:53,294
when you and I were together,
but I seem to remember
120
00:03:53,295 --> 00:03:55,014
celebrating your birthday
almost constantly.
121
00:03:55,015 --> 00:03:56,054
Shut up.
122
00:03:56,055 --> 00:03:58,215
Why don't you come?
If he makes it.
123
00:03:58,295 --> 00:04:00,135
[Gargles, splutters]
124
00:04:00,136 --> 00:04:02,054
Chelsea's organizing it.
It's gonna be at the brewery.
125
00:04:02,055 --> 00:04:04,374
Yeah. You'll get to see
everyone again. It'll be fun.
126
00:04:04,375 --> 00:04:07,455
Everyone? Oh, God. Okay.
[Laughs awkwardly]
127
00:04:07,535 --> 00:04:08,815
Should I go?
128
00:04:08,895 --> 00:04:10,975
Should I go, Collywobbles?
129
00:04:11,055 --> 00:04:13,215
Um, yeah, I'll think about it.
130
00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:14,735
Hey, unrelated...
131
00:04:16,455 --> 00:04:18,975
Was that you I saw
at the brewery the other day?
132
00:04:18,976 --> 00:04:20,054
When?
133
00:04:20,055 --> 00:04:21,574
It was the same day
we met, actually.
134
00:04:21,575 --> 00:04:22,975
Later that day. Was that you?
135
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,415
- A few days ago?
- Ooh. No. No, no, no.
136
00:04:25,495 --> 00:04:27,175
- Outside the brewery?
- No.
137
00:04:27,255 --> 00:04:28,775
- In a car?
- Car?
138
00:04:28,855 --> 00:04:29,975
With wine?
139
00:04:30,055 --> 00:04:33,375
I'm off the grog right now,
so it wasn't me.
140
00:04:33,376 --> 00:04:35,694
- Oh. I must have got that wrong.
- [David] Hey, Ash.
141
00:04:35,695 --> 00:04:37,975
I think my throat's
closing over.
142
00:04:38,055 --> 00:04:40,295
[Gags and retches]
143
00:04:40,296 --> 00:04:43,334
You've got to go.
His throat's closing over.
144
00:04:43,335 --> 00:04:45,334
Yeah, I've got to drive him.
He's on his L's.
145
00:04:45,335 --> 00:04:47,095
- He's on his L's?
- Shut up.
146
00:04:47,175 --> 00:04:49,335
[Theme music]
147
00:05:10,375 --> 00:05:11,815
[Gordon] Hey, Bretty boy.
148
00:05:11,816 --> 00:05:14,054
I want to tell you something.
149
00:05:14,055 --> 00:05:16,054
I just want to get ahead
of something, okay?
150
00:05:16,055 --> 00:05:18,105
Um, I'm going to tell you
in confidence,
151
00:05:18,135 --> 00:05:20,695
and I don't...
you're not allowed to hit me.
152
00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:21,814
Okay?
153
00:05:21,815 --> 00:05:23,894
- You invited Ash, didn't you?
- Yes, I did.
154
00:05:23,895 --> 00:05:25,694
No, no, no, no!
She's bringing her boyfriend!
155
00:05:25,695 --> 00:05:27,334
- I'm gonna hit you.
- She's bringing her boyfriend!
156
00:05:27,335 --> 00:05:29,535
Got a boyfriend, yeah, okay?
So it's fine.
157
00:05:29,615 --> 00:05:32,735
We can be mates. So it's above
board, mate. It's all fine.
158
00:05:32,736 --> 00:05:34,054
- Real talk, Gordo?
- Yeah.
159
00:05:34,055 --> 00:05:35,985
- When she left you...
- It was mutual, man.
160
00:05:35,986 --> 00:05:37,254
She left you, all right?
161
00:05:37,255 --> 00:05:39,054
And I've never seen you
like that before.
162
00:05:39,055 --> 00:05:40,255
And I never want to again.
163
00:05:40,295 --> 00:05:41,345
You won't, man.
164
00:05:41,346 --> 00:05:43,054
As long as I've known you,
Gordon,
165
00:05:43,055 --> 00:05:45,054
you've always been great
with the ladies, yeah?
166
00:05:45,055 --> 00:05:47,535
You're like the Ronda Rousey
of relationships.
167
00:05:47,536 --> 00:05:49,054
- Is that a UFC reference?
- Yeah.
168
00:05:49,055 --> 00:05:51,054
Again, I don't get
those references, man.
169
00:05:51,055 --> 00:05:53,495
- Ronda Rousey was undefeated.
- Okay.
170
00:05:53,575 --> 00:05:55,745
- Her armbar's legendary.
- I get it, I get it.
171
00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:58,494
Until she met Holly Holm,
"The Preacher's Daughter."
172
00:05:58,495 --> 00:06:01,295
Point is, yep, I'm Ronda Rousey,
um, Ash is Holly Holm.
173
00:06:01,296 --> 00:06:02,614
Yes, she destroyed
my confidence.
174
00:06:02,615 --> 00:06:04,374
- She took my heavyweight title.
- Bantamweight.
175
00:06:04,375 --> 00:06:05,935
Bantamweight. Fuckin', I get it.
176
00:06:05,936 --> 00:06:08,094
It's fine, though. We're mates.
She's coming. It's all good.
177
00:06:08,095 --> 00:06:10,215
We're mates.
Everyone fuckin' relax.
178
00:06:12,135 --> 00:06:13,455
And, Bretty?
179
00:06:13,535 --> 00:06:16,415
Mate, if you hit me again,
I'm gonna hit you back.
180
00:06:16,495 --> 00:06:18,815
- Okay.
- Oh, okay. Fuckin'...
181
00:06:19,815 --> 00:06:20,975
But it's there. Yeah.
182
00:06:21,055 --> 00:06:22,735
- We're good?
- We're good.
183
00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:23,865
I love you.
184
00:06:23,895 --> 00:06:24,945
Love you too. Okay?
185
00:06:24,946 --> 00:06:26,694
But just... just don't
poke the bear.
186
00:06:26,695 --> 00:06:28,055
- All right?
- Cool.
187
00:06:28,135 --> 00:06:30,695
[Lighthearted music]
188
00:06:31,775 --> 00:06:33,055
Hi. I'm Ashley.
189
00:06:33,135 --> 00:06:34,975
[Giggles] Thank you, I am fun.
190
00:06:35,055 --> 00:06:36,655
But I'm also a medical doctor.
191
00:06:36,735 --> 00:06:39,255
How do I know Gordon?
We went out.
192
00:06:39,256 --> 00:06:41,054
It was short,
but very meaningful.
193
00:06:41,055 --> 00:06:44,135
He's still in love with me.
He's fuckin' obsessed with me.
194
00:06:44,215 --> 00:06:45,855
Can I look at your rash?
195
00:06:45,935 --> 00:06:47,695
Not right now. I'm at a party.
196
00:06:48,895 --> 00:06:50,295
Meggles!
197
00:06:52,135 --> 00:06:53,895
I'm overthinking it, aren't I?
198
00:06:53,896 --> 00:06:55,254
Is this a good party outfit?
199
00:06:55,255 --> 00:06:56,695
Is it a kids' party?
200
00:06:56,696 --> 00:06:57,774
Fuck!
201
00:06:57,775 --> 00:06:59,014
Okay, it's really important
202
00:06:59,015 --> 00:07:00,415
Gordon sees how hot you are.
203
00:07:00,495 --> 00:07:03,295
Firm agree. I had a dream
about him last night.
204
00:07:03,375 --> 00:07:04,895
And... and we were on a beach,
205
00:07:04,896 --> 00:07:06,574
and I did a cartwheel
in a bikini,
206
00:07:06,575 --> 00:07:09,175
and I looked so fuckin' good.
207
00:07:09,255 --> 00:07:12,095
Was it, like, your body
or a dream body?
208
00:07:12,175 --> 00:07:13,495
Yes, it was my body.
209
00:07:13,496 --> 00:07:15,054
Oh, well, you know,
sometimes it's...
210
00:07:15,055 --> 00:07:16,575
Yeah, okay. My tits were bigger.
211
00:07:16,655 --> 00:07:18,345
- Fuck off.
- What's this, though?
212
00:07:18,415 --> 00:07:20,615
You look like you
just got out of a cult.
213
00:07:20,695 --> 00:07:22,055
Fuckin' hell, man.
214
00:07:22,135 --> 00:07:23,255
Get it off.
215
00:07:23,335 --> 00:07:25,575
I need you to come with me.
I need a wingman.
216
00:07:25,655 --> 00:07:26,975
No. You've got David.
217
00:07:26,976 --> 00:07:29,454
No, because he's coming after
his fish market trial.
218
00:07:29,455 --> 00:07:31,575
He'll be late.
Can't Rumi put Genre down?
219
00:07:31,655 --> 00:07:34,495
[Whispers] I don't trust her
to put him down.
220
00:07:34,575 --> 00:07:35,975
I'm sorry?
221
00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:37,215
How did you hear that?
222
00:07:37,295 --> 00:07:39,045
No, it's not that
I don't trust you.
223
00:07:39,055 --> 00:07:40,495
I can put him down, babe.
224
00:07:40,575 --> 00:07:44,015
Yeah, I know you can. It's just
he's used to me doing it.
225
00:07:44,016 --> 00:07:45,894
Yeah, because
you never let me do it.
226
00:07:45,895 --> 00:07:46,974
Is "put him down" right?
227
00:07:46,975 --> 00:07:48,054
- That is not true.
- Sounds wrong.
228
00:07:48,055 --> 00:07:49,174
[Rumi] Meggles,
for fuck's sake...
229
00:07:49,175 --> 00:07:51,134
- Like, put him down.
- ..I can put our boy down.
230
00:07:51,135 --> 00:07:52,534
And yes, Ash,
that's the correct parlance.
231
00:07:52,535 --> 00:07:54,814
- What the fuck are you wearing?
- Party clothes!
232
00:07:54,815 --> 00:07:56,695
Don't get mad at me.
You're mad at her.
233
00:07:56,775 --> 00:07:58,175
Babe, listen.
234
00:07:58,255 --> 00:08:02,015
Babe, I just want you
to relax, okay? Okay?
235
00:08:02,095 --> 00:08:07,095
I want you to let me help you.
I want you to have a fun night.
236
00:08:07,175 --> 00:08:08,975
Yeah, come have a fun night.
237
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:10,335
I won't be any fun, Ash.
238
00:08:10,415 --> 00:08:12,255
I'm not, like,
a party girl anymore.
239
00:08:12,335 --> 00:08:13,895
I don't even drink anymore.
240
00:08:13,975 --> 00:08:15,175
Please?
241
00:08:15,255 --> 00:08:19,335
I guess I could do, like,
a "mama's first night out post."
242
00:08:19,336 --> 00:08:20,214
Ew.
243
00:08:20,215 --> 00:08:22,025
- Let's do a "get ready with me."
- Ahh.
244
00:08:22,055 --> 00:08:23,815
Yes, actually, this is good.
245
00:08:23,895 --> 00:08:25,375
- No, this is good.
- Yeah.
246
00:08:25,455 --> 00:08:29,615
- [Soul music]
- [Guests chatter]
247
00:08:29,616 --> 00:08:32,294
Hey, darling, can you just maybe
make sure the people over there
248
00:08:32,295 --> 00:08:34,055
get it as well?
249
00:08:36,106 --> 00:08:39,014
- I'm a brewery boy.
- [Laughs]
250
00:08:39,015 --> 00:08:40,254
Going out with
a brewery boy, yeah.
251
00:08:40,255 --> 00:08:41,525
- Yeah.
- Happy birthday!
252
00:08:41,535 --> 00:08:43,975
Thanks, babe. Yeah, well,
she threw this for me.
253
00:08:44,055 --> 00:08:46,575
[Soul music continues]
254
00:08:46,655 --> 00:08:48,215
I'm gonna go find Gordy.
255
00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:50,495
Where is he? Where's Gordon?
256
00:08:50,575 --> 00:08:52,145
- Could be good.
- [Gordon] Yeah.
257
00:08:52,146 --> 00:08:54,054
Excuse me, sir.
This is the dick police.
258
00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:57,014
There's been a report that your
dick's fucking way too small!
259
00:08:57,015 --> 00:08:58,174
- Cunt!
- Okay. Fuckin' hell, man.
260
00:08:58,175 --> 00:09:00,615
- Huh?
- Sorry. You're a cockhead.
261
00:09:00,616 --> 00:09:02,534
- Happy birthday, cuntstick.
- Mate!
262
00:09:02,535 --> 00:09:04,934
Why'd you come here for? You
didn't have to come for this.
263
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:07,054
What are you fucking talking
about? It's your birthday.
264
00:09:07,055 --> 00:09:09,054
- You'd do the same for me.
- No, I wouldn't, mate.
265
00:09:09,055 --> 00:09:10,134
I've missed heaps
of your birthdays.
266
00:09:10,135 --> 00:09:11,375
Yeah, I know,
267
00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:13,054
'cause you're the fucking
shitter brother, aren't you?
268
00:09:13,055 --> 00:09:14,454
- Hey?
- Okay. All right, here we go.
269
00:09:14,455 --> 00:09:16,054
- Oh, thanks, mate. Cheers.
- Cheers.
270
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:18,165
Plus, it gets me away
from fuckin' Katie,
271
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:21,014
who's all "perimenopausal this,
perimenopausal that."
272
00:09:21,015 --> 00:09:22,165
- Mm-hm.
- Is it just me?
273
00:09:22,166 --> 00:09:24,254
Or did that shit start
a couple of years ago?
274
00:09:24,255 --> 00:09:25,254
It's just you.
275
00:09:25,255 --> 00:09:26,654
Remember when Mummy
got a bit weird
276
00:09:26,655 --> 00:09:28,825
and she just hit
the rieslings a bit harder
277
00:09:28,855 --> 00:09:30,295
and she fucking got on with it.
278
00:09:30,296 --> 00:09:32,814
You should start a podcast, man.
Real Joe Rogan vibes.
279
00:09:32,815 --> 00:09:33,975
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
280
00:09:33,976 --> 00:09:35,454
Thanks, man. That's really nice.
281
00:09:35,455 --> 00:09:37,325
- Oh, you got it, man.
- Is Ash here yet?
282
00:09:37,335 --> 00:09:39,255
- I don't think so, no.
- Fuck!
283
00:09:39,335 --> 00:09:41,775
Ash and Chels at the same party.
284
00:09:41,776 --> 00:09:42,694
It's fine.
285
00:09:42,695 --> 00:09:44,054
That's some fucking
big balls, cunt.
286
00:09:44,055 --> 00:09:46,054
That's some big
motherfucking testes, son.
287
00:09:46,055 --> 00:09:47,054
Okay.
288
00:09:47,055 --> 00:09:48,814
That's some fucking
big balls on toast.
289
00:09:48,815 --> 00:09:51,054
- Keep it down, mate.
- I'm gonna circulate, big balls.
290
00:09:51,055 --> 00:09:52,105
I'll see you soon.
291
00:09:53,055 --> 00:09:54,775
Um...
292
00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:56,055
Yes. Uh...
293
00:09:56,056 --> 00:09:57,174
- Stocks.
- Mm-hm.
294
00:09:57,175 --> 00:09:58,455
- Shares?
- Mm-hm.
295
00:09:58,456 --> 00:09:59,574
- Market.
- Mmm.
296
00:09:59,575 --> 00:10:00,374
Yes.
297
00:10:00,375 --> 00:10:03,015
Fuck. Oh, my God.
[Laughs nervously]
298
00:10:03,095 --> 00:10:05,215
This was a mistake.
Why did we come?
299
00:10:05,295 --> 00:10:06,815
Good. Let's go.
300
00:10:06,816 --> 00:10:08,054
Is should get back to Genre.
301
00:10:08,055 --> 00:10:10,695
No, no, no, no.
Don't do that. Let's stay.
302
00:10:10,775 --> 00:10:12,035
[David] Hey, just in time.
303
00:10:12,036 --> 00:10:13,214
- [Ashley] Hi.
- Oh, my God. David!
304
00:10:13,215 --> 00:10:14,894
[Ashley] Oh, shit, David!
What the fuck?
305
00:10:14,895 --> 00:10:16,035
A bit too fishy for you?
306
00:10:16,055 --> 00:10:18,295
Too fishy for anyone.
Didn't you shower?
307
00:10:18,375 --> 00:10:21,895
I'm sorry. I didn't want to be
late. It's not that bad, is it?
308
00:10:21,896 --> 00:10:22,854
- It's bad!
- Hey.
309
00:10:22,855 --> 00:10:24,785
- Smells really bad.
- Hey, there she is.
310
00:10:24,815 --> 00:10:26,775
- Hi!
- Hi. Ahh!
311
00:10:26,776 --> 00:10:28,694
- Meggles, how are you?
- Bretty, how are you, mate?
312
00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,294
[Megan] It's so nice
to see you, mate.
313
00:10:30,295 --> 00:10:33,054
Yeah, good to see you too.
And this must be your boyfriend.
314
00:10:33,055 --> 00:10:34,054
[Sniffs] Fish?
315
00:10:34,055 --> 00:10:35,494
David. How are you?
Good to see you.
316
00:10:35,495 --> 00:10:36,734
- Good you're here, mate.
- Cool.
317
00:10:36,735 --> 00:10:37,534
Good you're here.
318
00:10:37,535 --> 00:10:39,094
- [Chiara] Ashley, hey.
- Hey, Chi.
319
00:10:39,095 --> 00:10:41,695
How are you?
Going good. Yeah. Good. [laughs]
320
00:10:41,696 --> 00:10:44,214
Hi. Too busy to say hello to
your first lesbian girlfriend.
321
00:10:44,215 --> 00:10:46,054
- Oh, sorry, Chi. How are you?
- Hello!
322
00:10:46,055 --> 00:10:47,414
It's just I'm checking on Genre.
323
00:10:47,415 --> 00:10:49,054
It's actually
my first night away.
324
00:10:49,055 --> 00:10:50,495
- Shondra?
- Genre.
325
00:10:50,575 --> 00:10:52,975
- Uh-huh.
- It means 'origin' or 'kind'.
326
00:10:53,055 --> 00:10:55,215
Oh. And that is a child?
327
00:10:55,295 --> 00:10:56,975
- Yep.
- Oh, congratula...
328
00:10:56,976 --> 00:10:58,214
Fuck, something smells...
329
00:10:58,215 --> 00:10:59,894
Something smells like
a dead mermaid's vagina.
330
00:10:59,895 --> 00:11:03,095
[Laughs] No. I'm David.
I'm Ashley's bloke.
331
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:04,734
I've just been
at the fish market.
332
00:11:04,735 --> 00:11:06,534
Oh. All good.
Don't need to hug right now.
333
00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:07,814
We're gonna get
a little drinkie. Please.
334
00:11:07,815 --> 00:11:09,614
- That'd be a good idea.
- Go to the bar.
335
00:11:09,615 --> 00:11:12,535
Very handsome. And very smelly.
336
00:11:12,615 --> 00:11:13,855
Yeah.
337
00:11:13,935 --> 00:11:17,095
Anyway, being a mum
is just, like, so full-on.
338
00:11:17,175 --> 00:11:18,335
You have no idea.
339
00:11:18,415 --> 00:11:20,975
Oh, I have some idea.
I had three under five.
340
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:22,335
- How old is she?
- He.
341
00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:23,815
- 18 months.
- Yeah, um...
342
00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:26,094
It's just, like, you don't
realize how hard it's gonna be
343
00:11:26,095 --> 00:11:27,294
every moment,
you know, every minute.
344
00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:29,045
- Correct.
- What... what do they need?
345
00:11:29,046 --> 00:11:30,494
- Mm-hm.
- How... how much has he eaten?
346
00:11:30,495 --> 00:11:32,005
- Mm-hm.
- Has he slept enough?
347
00:11:32,055 --> 00:11:34,055
It is... It's, like, relentless,
you know.
348
00:11:34,135 --> 00:11:36,975
You... you only have one, though.
You've just got the one.
349
00:11:37,055 --> 00:11:39,095
He's a toddler, though.
And a boy.
350
00:11:39,175 --> 00:11:41,295
So I'm... I'm really
in the trenches.
351
00:11:41,375 --> 00:11:44,775
I have three actual boys -
13, 11 and 8.
352
00:11:44,776 --> 00:11:47,054
I mean, I've got trench foot,
trench mouth and dysentery.
353
00:11:47,055 --> 00:11:49,054
I'm in the trenches.
I think you've forgotten
354
00:11:49,055 --> 00:11:50,455
how hard toddlers are.
355
00:11:50,456 --> 00:11:52,694
Are you on crack?
'Cause I'm considering it.
356
00:11:52,695 --> 00:11:55,775
And you know who I could
buy it from? My 11-year-old.
357
00:11:55,855 --> 00:11:56,905
[Gordon] Ashy.
358
00:11:56,935 --> 00:11:58,095
- Oh, hi.
- [Gordon] Hey.
359
00:11:58,175 --> 00:11:59,615
- Hi, Gordie. [Laughs]
- Hey.
360
00:11:59,616 --> 00:12:01,134
[Ashley] There he is.
Happy birthday.
361
00:12:01,135 --> 00:12:03,455
Hey, thank you.
Thanks for coming.
362
00:12:03,535 --> 00:12:05,615
Thank you so much
for inviting us.
363
00:12:05,695 --> 00:12:06,935
Yeah, of course.
364
00:12:07,015 --> 00:12:08,465
Is that salmon?
Uh, hey, man.
365
00:12:09,015 --> 00:12:10,215
Yeah, I think, yep, it is.
366
00:12:10,295 --> 00:12:11,855
Hm. It's not fresh, I tell ya.
367
00:12:11,935 --> 00:12:13,085
- Is it not?
- Nuh. Uh-uh.
368
00:12:13,086 --> 00:12:14,774
Doesn't matter.
Just say happy birthday, babe.
369
00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:16,334
- Sorry. Happy birthday, mate.
- Yeah, thanks, mate.
370
00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:17,415
- Appreciate it.
- Oh.
371
00:12:17,416 --> 00:12:18,734
- [Gordon] Oh!
- Oh, no, no, no.
372
00:12:18,735 --> 00:12:20,694
- Come on. That's enough.
- Oh, my God! Oh!
373
00:12:20,695 --> 00:12:22,334
I can smell that now.
You're right.
374
00:12:22,335 --> 00:12:24,214
- That's off, isn't it?
- Who does your fish?
375
00:12:24,215 --> 00:12:25,734
- Did you eat this?
- Oh, it's okay.
376
00:12:25,735 --> 00:12:28,054
I could eat a day-old prawn
out of a dirty ashtray.
377
00:12:28,055 --> 00:12:29,054
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
378
00:12:29,055 --> 00:12:30,215
- Iron gut?
- Yeah.
379
00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:31,334
- Feel it.
- Ha-ha!
380
00:12:31,335 --> 00:12:32,534
- No, feel it.
- It's all right.
381
00:12:32,535 --> 00:12:34,054
He can't.
He's got no free hands.
382
00:12:34,055 --> 00:12:36,095
Throw that out.
It's disgus... It's off.
383
00:12:36,175 --> 00:12:37,695
Can I just say,
384
00:12:37,696 --> 00:12:40,054
I think it's really sweet
you guys have reconnected.
385
00:12:40,055 --> 00:12:41,255
Thanks.
386
00:12:41,335 --> 00:12:42,975
I'm still really close to my ex.
387
00:12:43,055 --> 00:12:44,695
Yeah, right. [Sniffs]
388
00:12:44,696 --> 00:12:47,054
I'm sorry. That... that salmon's
really hanging around, isn't it?
389
00:12:47,055 --> 00:12:48,174
- [Ashley] Yes.
- That's terrible.
390
00:12:48,175 --> 00:12:50,415
You know what?
Hey, just, you circulate.
391
00:12:50,416 --> 00:12:52,294
Got lots of people to talk to,
birthday boy.
392
00:12:52,295 --> 00:12:53,494
- I'll find you later.
- Okay.
393
00:12:53,495 --> 00:12:55,134
- Let's have a drink. Come on.
- Good to see you.
394
00:12:55,135 --> 00:12:57,054
- Good to see you.
- Wanna try some of your beers.
395
00:12:57,055 --> 00:12:58,745
- Yeah, all right. Yeah, do!
- Yeah.
396
00:13:01,055 --> 00:13:02,975
I'm saying
you got big balls, cunt!
397
00:13:03,055 --> 00:13:05,535
- Shut up, mate.
- Big balls!
398
00:13:05,615 --> 00:13:06,975
Still alive or...
399
00:13:07,055 --> 00:13:09,975
S-sorry Chi. It's just...
he usually goes down early.
400
00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:11,415
- No, no.
- Chi, can you not?
401
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:14,094
I'm sure he's great, but no one
wants to talk about your kid.
402
00:13:14,095 --> 00:13:15,094
- You're really boring now.
- What?
403
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:16,694
You've forgotten
how to be at a party.
404
00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:20,055
- Ask me a fucking question.
- Oh, sorry. Fuck.
405
00:13:20,135 --> 00:13:21,815
Um, okay.
406
00:13:23,055 --> 00:13:24,295
[Exhales] How are you?
407
00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:26,975
Oh, thanks for asking.
I'm really good. I've got ADHD.
408
00:13:26,976 --> 00:13:28,654
- You've always had that.
- No, that's new.
409
00:13:28,655 --> 00:13:29,454
[Megan] Hmm.
410
00:13:29,455 --> 00:13:31,054
Uh, Andre and I
got back together.
411
00:13:31,055 --> 00:13:32,294
- What?
- Which was great.
412
00:13:32,295 --> 00:13:35,575
Until it wasn't.
And, uh, now we are open.
413
00:13:35,655 --> 00:13:36,735
- Holy shit!
- Yeah.
414
00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:37,895
- Really?
- Yeah.
415
00:13:37,896 --> 00:13:40,294
Well, what's that like?
I mean, Rumi's pretty curious.
416
00:13:40,295 --> 00:13:42,895
It's pretty great,
actually. Yeah.
417
00:13:42,896 --> 00:13:44,974
And the hardest thing about
having an open relationship
418
00:13:44,975 --> 00:13:46,054
is organizing child care.
419
00:13:46,055 --> 00:13:47,614
Hmm! Oh, my God.
Tell me about it.
420
00:13:47,615 --> 00:13:49,735
- If I just want an hour...
- Stop.
421
00:13:49,736 --> 00:13:51,414
- Just one hour...
- I'm telling you about it.
422
00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:53,174
You're listening. You've got
your listening ears on.
423
00:13:53,175 --> 00:13:55,975
[Guests laugh and chatter]
424
00:13:55,976 --> 00:13:57,854
- What are you drinking there?
- [Guest] Uh...
425
00:13:57,855 --> 00:14:00,175
Well, I mean,
they are gonna be bankrupt
426
00:14:00,176 --> 00:14:01,334
when you're done with them.
427
00:14:01,335 --> 00:14:03,095
[Laughs] I am all in.
428
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:04,655
You have a good night, okay?
429
00:14:04,656 --> 00:14:06,574
- Thanks, Tobes. Thanks again.
- Knock 'em dead.
430
00:14:06,575 --> 00:14:08,855
- Stop it! [Laughs]
- [Ashley chuckles]
431
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:11,295
Oh, wait, wait, wait. Sorry.
Can I just fix that?
432
00:14:12,095 --> 00:14:14,255
Hi. You must be Chelsea. Hello.
433
00:14:14,335 --> 00:14:16,615
Hello! Um, what's your name?
434
00:14:16,695 --> 00:14:17,745
Ashley.
435
00:14:17,775 --> 00:14:19,615
Ashley. Hello, Ashley.
436
00:14:19,695 --> 00:14:21,815
Thanks so much
for organizing this.
437
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:23,455
Oh, yeah. Of course.
438
00:14:23,456 --> 00:14:25,254
- [Woman] Chelsea!
- Hi, darling. Hi.
439
00:14:25,255 --> 00:14:26,694
- [Chelsea laughs]
- [Woman] Nice to see you.
440
00:14:26,695 --> 00:14:29,655
Yeah. It's so good
to see Heavy again.
441
00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:31,215
- Ohh. Good.
- Yeah.
442
00:14:31,295 --> 00:14:33,615
We always got on so well.
[Laughs]
443
00:14:33,695 --> 00:14:34,855
[Laughs awkwardly]
444
00:14:35,855 --> 00:14:37,815
- Hmm.
- [Chelsea] Hmm!
445
00:14:39,055 --> 00:14:40,975
Did Dawn, um, come up?
446
00:14:41,055 --> 00:14:43,575
Uh, no. No. She was unable to.
447
00:14:43,655 --> 00:14:44,705
Oh, shame.
448
00:14:44,775 --> 00:14:47,135
Oh, my gosh. Stop it!
449
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:49,334
- Get out of here. [Laughs]
- [Woman] You stop it.
450
00:14:49,335 --> 00:14:51,975
I was there when Brian died.
451
00:14:51,976 --> 00:14:53,134
Yeah. [Laughs awkwardly]
452
00:14:53,135 --> 00:14:54,734
Yeah, when he passed away,
I was there.
453
00:14:54,735 --> 00:14:56,534
- It was terrible.
- Oh, no, it's... Yeah.
454
00:14:56,535 --> 00:15:00,055
Such a shock.
Like, for everyone.
455
00:15:00,135 --> 00:15:02,455
- Yeah. I'm sure that was. Yeah.
- Yeah.
456
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,455
So, I was, uh, actually there.
457
00:15:04,535 --> 00:15:07,975
Like, I was physically there
next to Gordon.
458
00:15:08,055 --> 00:15:09,375
- Oh, really?
- Yes.
459
00:15:09,455 --> 00:15:10,975
'Cause I was his girlfriend.
460
00:15:11,055 --> 00:15:12,215
- Oh. Oh, yes.
- Yeah.
461
00:15:12,216 --> 00:15:13,294
- Okay. Yeah.
- Yeah.
462
00:15:13,295 --> 00:15:14,734
- At the time.
- That makes total sense.
463
00:15:14,735 --> 00:15:16,054
Yeah. We were
boyfriend-girlfriend.
464
00:15:16,055 --> 00:15:17,214
[Laughs falsely]
Anyway, I'm sorry.
465
00:15:17,215 --> 00:15:19,445
If you'll excuse me,
I have to go feed the dog.
466
00:15:19,455 --> 00:15:20,975
- Oh, Colin's here?
- Yeah.
467
00:15:20,976 --> 00:15:24,054
Yeah, he's in the office because
someone's allergic, apparently.
468
00:15:24,055 --> 00:15:25,735
Oh, are they?
Yeah. Well, I can...
469
00:15:25,815 --> 00:15:27,215
You're busy. I can feed him.
470
00:15:27,216 --> 00:15:29,054
Oh, no, that's fine.
He needs medicine.
471
00:15:29,055 --> 00:15:30,175
I know.
472
00:15:30,255 --> 00:15:32,095
Yeah, but he's just
a bit nervous.
473
00:15:32,175 --> 00:15:34,815
He doesn't... he doesn't
take food from just anyone.
474
00:15:34,895 --> 00:15:36,975
I'm not just anyone.
475
00:15:37,055 --> 00:15:38,295
No. Of course not.
476
00:15:38,375 --> 00:15:41,015
- You are Ashley.
- That's it.
477
00:15:41,095 --> 00:15:42,295
- Yeah.
- Yes.
478
00:15:42,296 --> 00:15:44,054
- Anyway, have a good night!
- Oh, you too.
479
00:15:44,055 --> 00:15:45,385
- Nice to meet you.
- Uh-huh.
480
00:15:47,855 --> 00:15:49,975
# It's time to let, let go... #
481
00:15:50,055 --> 00:15:52,575
- # Let go, let go... #
- [Sighs]
482
00:15:52,655 --> 00:15:54,375
# Let go
It's time to let... #
483
00:15:54,376 --> 00:15:56,134
- [Toilet roll holder thuds]
- Fucking great.
484
00:15:56,135 --> 00:15:57,694
- # It's time to let go... #
- Ashy, is that you?
485
00:15:57,695 --> 00:16:01,135
[Gasps] Meggles. Oh, my God.
This is rough, hey?
486
00:16:01,215 --> 00:16:02,295
- Is it?
- Yeah.
487
00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:04,094
- Can I have some toilet paper?
- Hm.
488
00:16:04,095 --> 00:16:07,135
Boo, I just met Chelsea,
Gordon's new girlfriend.
489
00:16:07,215 --> 00:16:08,415
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
490
00:16:08,495 --> 00:16:11,025
She's so fucking beautiful,
I want to kill myself.
491
00:16:11,055 --> 00:16:12,215
I bet she isn't.
492
00:16:12,295 --> 00:16:15,775
She is. And she's, like,
fucking crazy confident.
493
00:16:15,855 --> 00:16:19,095
She's like a hot robot
of an old movie star.
494
00:16:19,175 --> 00:16:21,815
I look like a fucking
homeless person next to her.
495
00:16:21,816 --> 00:16:24,054
A person currently
experiencing houselessness?
496
00:16:24,055 --> 00:16:26,975
Not even.
Just a full homeless person.
497
00:16:27,055 --> 00:16:28,255
- Oh, shit.
- Yeah.
498
00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:31,255
And her eye contact
was, like, fucking crazy.
499
00:16:31,256 --> 00:16:33,374
She was, like, staring
at the back of my head.
500
00:16:33,375 --> 00:16:35,094
I felt like
all my clothes fell off.
501
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,215
Jesus.
502
00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:38,975
I don't even think
she's ever heard of me.
503
00:16:39,055 --> 00:16:40,255
No?!
504
00:16:40,335 --> 00:16:41,615
- Yeah.
- [Door opens]
505
00:16:41,695 --> 00:16:44,655
Do number twos at home, thanks.
I don't want to hear it.
506
00:16:44,735 --> 00:16:45,785
Mum?
507
00:16:45,786 --> 00:16:47,134
[Lynelle] Oh, there you are.
508
00:16:47,135 --> 00:16:48,855
What the fuck?
509
00:16:48,935 --> 00:16:52,095
Oh, they discontinued
this lipstick. I'm devastated.
510
00:16:52,175 --> 00:16:55,655
Mum, it is so inappropriate
that you are here.
511
00:16:55,735 --> 00:16:58,495
I could say the same,
Ashley Marie.
512
00:16:58,575 --> 00:17:00,655
No, you couldn't,
because he invited me.
513
00:17:00,656 --> 00:17:01,814
What are you doing here?
514
00:17:01,815 --> 00:17:04,335
Well, Megan posted
on her Insta stories.
515
00:17:04,415 --> 00:17:07,175
- [Toilet flushes]
- Hello, Lynelle.
516
00:17:07,176 --> 00:17:10,294
I didn't realize
you still followed me.
517
00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:12,175
Oh, hello, Megan.
518
00:17:13,255 --> 00:17:14,775
How's your dad?
519
00:17:14,776 --> 00:17:17,654
Why don't you return
his calls and find out?
520
00:17:17,655 --> 00:17:19,695
I don't think
there's much more to say.
521
00:17:19,696 --> 00:17:20,934
He doesn't feel that way.
522
00:17:20,935 --> 00:17:21,934
[Sighs]
523
00:17:21,935 --> 00:17:24,494
[Lynelle] Has anybody met
Gordon's new girlfriend?
524
00:17:24,495 --> 00:17:28,975
She's so elegant,
and her skin is amazing.
525
00:17:29,055 --> 00:17:32,855
Oh, you never stood a chance
with all your sun damage.
526
00:17:32,935 --> 00:17:34,255
Mum, it's freckles.
527
00:17:34,256 --> 00:17:36,054
They're freckles
when you're a child, darling.
528
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,895
At your age, it's sun damage.
529
00:17:39,255 --> 00:17:42,015
# Yeah, yeah, yeah-hey #
530
00:17:42,016 --> 00:17:43,934
I nearly went with
Trout of This World.
531
00:17:43,935 --> 00:17:44,974
[Chiara] Uh-huh.
532
00:17:44,975 --> 00:17:46,615
But actually
I've ended up with...
533
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,815
"Benefit of the Trout."
534
00:17:49,895 --> 00:17:51,055
[Laughs] Yeah.
535
00:17:51,135 --> 00:17:53,895
Did you consider, um,
Shadow of a Trout?
536
00:17:53,975 --> 00:17:56,135
Mmm. But... no.
537
00:17:56,136 --> 00:17:57,654
- [Alistair] Out and A-trout?
- Uh-uh.
538
00:17:57,655 --> 00:17:59,174
- [Chiara] Trout of Control?
- Uhh.
539
00:17:59,175 --> 00:18:00,294
- Trout for a Duck?
- Mm.
540
00:18:00,295 --> 00:18:02,214
[Chiara] Trout, Trout,
Let It All Out?
541
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,335
- No Diggity, No Trout?
- Uh-uh.
542
00:18:04,415 --> 00:18:05,775
I don't know what that is.
543
00:18:05,855 --> 00:18:08,385
[Chiara] Standing
on the Trout-side Looking In?
544
00:18:09,295 --> 00:18:10,975
You've already done that hand.
545
00:18:10,976 --> 00:18:12,134
[Alistair] Yeah,
that's done that.
546
00:18:12,135 --> 00:18:13,374
- [Chiara] You did that one.
- Yeah.
547
00:18:13,375 --> 00:18:15,135
Yeah, that's well clean.
548
00:18:15,215 --> 00:18:16,495
[Dance music]
549
00:18:16,575 --> 00:18:17,775
- Gordon?
- Present.
550
00:18:17,855 --> 00:18:19,005
- Sorry. [laughs]
- Hey.
551
00:18:19,006 --> 00:18:20,054
Hi.
552
00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:21,814
Um, sorry,
there's no one at the bar,
553
00:18:21,815 --> 00:18:25,495
and Mum would like
some chablis or albarin?o.
554
00:18:25,575 --> 00:18:26,655
Lynelle is here?
555
00:18:26,735 --> 00:18:27,855
Of course.
556
00:18:27,935 --> 00:18:29,295
Yeah, of course she is.
557
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:32,535
Um, I might have. Do you
want to... I'll just check.
558
00:18:32,615 --> 00:18:33,665
[Box thuds]
559
00:18:36,335 --> 00:18:37,655
Um...
560
00:18:37,735 --> 00:18:39,415
Ooh. Chilly.
561
00:18:39,495 --> 00:18:41,375
- Yeah, it's nice, isn't it?
- Mmm.
562
00:18:41,376 --> 00:18:43,574
You, uh, having fun
at your old mate's party?
563
00:18:43,575 --> 00:18:44,374
I am.
564
00:18:44,375 --> 00:18:45,854
Good. Told you
we could be mates.
565
00:18:45,855 --> 00:18:47,854
- I know we could be mates.
- Door's closing, door's closing.
566
00:18:47,855 --> 00:18:49,294
- Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
- [Door slams]
567
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,414
- [Timer buzzes]
- [Gordon] Fuck it.
568
00:18:50,415 --> 00:18:52,054
- [Ashley] Oh!
- Oh, sorry, it's on a timer.
569
00:18:52,055 --> 00:18:53,214
[Ashley] Oh, my God,
you're joking.
570
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:55,014
[Gordon]
No. It happens six times a day.
571
00:18:55,015 --> 00:18:56,054
It's fine. I'll just text Chi.
572
00:18:56,055 --> 00:18:57,854
- [Ashley] Where's your phone?
- I left it here.
573
00:18:57,855 --> 00:18:58,905
[Objects clatter]
574
00:18:58,935 --> 00:19:00,215
[Gordon] Uh, somewhere.
575
00:19:01,095 --> 00:19:02,655
Um... [Speaks indistinctly]
576
00:19:02,656 --> 00:19:04,454
- Hey, there you are.
- [Ashley] Sorry.
577
00:19:04,455 --> 00:19:07,015
# Can you make me feel
all right? #
578
00:19:07,095 --> 00:19:09,375
# Tonight... #
579
00:19:09,455 --> 00:19:10,775
[Lips smack]
580
00:19:10,855 --> 00:19:13,015
# I'll dream forever... #
581
00:19:13,095 --> 00:19:14,975
[Phone chimes]
582
00:19:15,055 --> 00:19:16,615
# Midnight... #
583
00:19:16,616 --> 00:19:18,054
- [Ashley laughs nervously]
- Yeah.
584
00:19:18,055 --> 00:19:20,895
[Dance music continues]
585
00:19:20,896 --> 00:19:22,294
Well, around the base
of the beak,
586
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:24,734
if you press through from
the other side with your thumbs
587
00:19:24,735 --> 00:19:28,135
and you just push it through,
then the beak fully comes out.
588
00:19:28,215 --> 00:19:30,975
Octopuses have beaks?
589
00:19:30,976 --> 00:19:32,854
Yeah, and if you bake them
for an hour,
590
00:19:32,855 --> 00:19:34,255
they taste like a chip.
591
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:35,494
Do you know that octopuses
592
00:19:35,495 --> 00:19:37,735
are at least as intelligent
as Labradors?
593
00:19:37,815 --> 00:19:39,015
Fuck off.
594
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:40,735
I'd never eat a Labrador.
595
00:19:40,815 --> 00:19:42,295
You ever been to China?
596
00:19:42,296 --> 00:19:44,254
You get what you're given
there, mate.
597
00:19:44,255 --> 00:19:45,254
- I haven't.
- [Phone chimes]
598
00:19:45,255 --> 00:19:46,574
But I have eaten
some weird things.
599
00:19:46,575 --> 00:19:48,134
Oh! Gordy's locked
in the cool room.
600
00:19:48,135 --> 00:19:49,405
- [Alistair] Is he?
- Yep.
601
00:19:49,406 --> 00:19:51,214
I'm gonna have to go.
I'll leave you here.
602
00:19:51,215 --> 00:19:52,414
No, I'll take care of that.
603
00:19:52,415 --> 00:19:53,814
- No, no, that's...
- No, no, I insist.
604
00:19:53,815 --> 00:19:55,685
- No, I insist. It's my phone.
- I insist.
605
00:19:55,686 --> 00:19:57,134
- He might need me.
- It's all good.
606
00:19:57,135 --> 00:19:58,934
- Chi, I'm putting my foot down.
- Are ya?
607
00:19:58,935 --> 00:20:00,295
- I'm insisting.
- Are ya?
608
00:20:00,375 --> 00:20:02,975
- I've eaten, uh, crocodile.
- Mm-hm. Yeah.
609
00:20:03,055 --> 00:20:04,135
- Frogs.
- Oh.
610
00:20:04,215 --> 00:20:07,295
- Um, tarantula in Cambodia.
- Oh. Mm-hm.
611
00:20:07,296 --> 00:20:08,534
Which is like a delicacy.
612
00:20:08,535 --> 00:20:09,805
- A horse, by mistake.
- Oh.
613
00:20:09,806 --> 00:20:12,054
That's... [Laughs]
That's actually a funny story.
614
00:20:12,055 --> 00:20:13,174
[Gasps] Is it? Go on, then.
615
00:20:13,175 --> 00:20:14,925
Well, I didn't think
it was a horse.
616
00:20:14,975 --> 00:20:16,025
- Yep.
- But it was.
617
00:20:16,775 --> 00:20:18,975
And then that's the end
of the story, is it?
618
00:20:19,055 --> 00:20:20,295
Yep.
619
00:20:21,695 --> 00:20:24,615
[Door clunks and rumbles]
620
00:20:25,655 --> 00:20:27,015
Ahh, I see.
621
00:20:27,095 --> 00:20:28,695
No, you didn't. Nothing to see.
622
00:20:28,775 --> 00:20:30,895
Oh, no, I do.
I've got eyes in my head.
623
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,134
- [Gordon] No, you don't.
- Hi.
624
00:20:32,135 --> 00:20:35,695
You okay, Ash? All alone here
in the dark with Gordon?
625
00:20:35,775 --> 00:20:36,825
Oh, God, yeah.
626
00:20:36,895 --> 00:20:38,295
- Oh. That's nice.
- Cool.
627
00:20:38,375 --> 00:20:39,975
Just met your boyfriend.
628
00:20:40,055 --> 00:20:41,615
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
629
00:20:41,695 --> 00:20:42,855
Doesn't smell great,
630
00:20:42,935 --> 00:20:45,855
but at least he's boring
and licks his fingers a lot.
631
00:20:45,935 --> 00:20:47,615
- Okay.
- Yeah.
632
00:20:47,616 --> 00:20:48,574
Cool, cool.
633
00:20:48,575 --> 00:20:50,975
- After you.
- Thank you so much.
634
00:20:51,055 --> 00:20:52,335
That's all right, Ash.
635
00:20:52,415 --> 00:20:55,535
- [Dance music]
- [Guests chatter]
636
00:20:55,615 --> 00:20:59,095
I mean, men have been playing
second fiddle for too long.
637
00:20:59,096 --> 00:21:01,054
- Yeah, right.
- They've lost their voice.
638
00:21:01,055 --> 00:21:02,855
Yeah, sure, I guess.
639
00:21:02,935 --> 00:21:04,255
And that's not right.
640
00:21:04,335 --> 00:21:06,975
- Big, strong alpha like you.
- Mm-hm.
641
00:21:07,055 --> 00:21:08,935
[Giggles]
Do you have a girlfriend?
642
00:21:09,015 --> 00:21:10,975
Yeah, Carmen. It's online.
643
00:21:11,055 --> 00:21:12,975
But we haven't met yet.
But, uh...
644
00:21:13,055 --> 00:21:16,535
All the more reason to establish
the rules of engagement.
645
00:21:16,615 --> 00:21:17,695
Yeah, right.
646
00:21:17,775 --> 00:21:20,975
You need to say,
"I'm the man of the house."
647
00:21:20,976 --> 00:21:22,054
Yeah, right.
648
00:21:22,055 --> 00:21:23,175
Say it!
649
00:21:23,486 --> 00:21:25,374
What?
650
00:21:25,375 --> 00:21:27,335
Say, "I'm the man of the house."
651
00:21:27,415 --> 00:21:29,015
I'm the man of the house.
652
00:21:29,095 --> 00:21:30,975
- Again.
- Again.
653
00:21:30,976 --> 00:21:32,054
No.
654
00:21:32,055 --> 00:21:34,055
Say, "I'm the man
of the house" again.
655
00:21:34,135 --> 00:21:35,975
I'm the man of the house again.
656
00:21:36,055 --> 00:21:37,105
No.
657
00:21:37,135 --> 00:21:38,415
[Tapping on microphone]
658
00:21:38,416 --> 00:21:39,374
No?
659
00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:43,135
Everyone, if I can
have your attention.
660
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:45,054
- Thank you.
- [Ashley speaks indistinctly]
661
00:21:45,055 --> 00:21:47,054
- [Chelsea] Bit of shush.
- Hey, birthday boy. Speech time.
662
00:21:47,055 --> 00:21:48,134
- Hey.
- A bit of shush, please.
663
00:21:48,135 --> 00:21:49,614
- Should probably go over there.
- That's okay.
664
00:21:49,615 --> 00:21:53,895
I, um... I first met Gordon
18 months ago
665
00:21:53,975 --> 00:21:58,695
when we held a work function
here at this very brewery.
666
00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:02,415
And so I met this brew head
or head brew man.
667
00:22:02,416 --> 00:22:04,494
- Or whatever it's called.
- [Guests laugh]
668
00:22:04,495 --> 00:22:09,935
And he says to me, "I am going
to kiss you in six minutes."
669
00:22:09,936 --> 00:22:11,454
- [Woman] Oh, no!
- [Man] Ooh-hoo!
670
00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:14,895
Right? I know! Outrageous.
671
00:22:14,975 --> 00:22:18,095
And I thought, yeah, well,
you know, that's very forward.
672
00:22:18,175 --> 00:22:19,855
It's a bit intense, actually.
673
00:22:19,935 --> 00:22:21,975
But then... he did.
674
00:22:22,055 --> 00:22:23,975
- [Guests laugh]
- It's a good move.
675
00:22:24,055 --> 00:22:28,655
And then I thought, "Well, there
is a man who follows through!"
676
00:22:28,735 --> 00:22:30,775
[Laughs uproariously]
677
00:22:30,855 --> 00:22:35,895
And I thought, "Ah! He's single,
no kids, not fat. Unicorn!"
678
00:22:35,975 --> 00:22:38,215
[Laughs]
679
00:22:38,295 --> 00:22:40,575
Oh, my gosh, she's so funny.
680
00:22:40,655 --> 00:22:43,335
[Chelsea] Um, no,
seriously, guys.
681
00:22:43,415 --> 00:22:45,895
Gordon, you are
a very hardworking
682
00:22:45,975 --> 00:22:47,455
and loyal life partner.
683
00:22:47,535 --> 00:22:51,735
And... I know, we can't always
agree what to watch on TV.
684
00:22:51,815 --> 00:22:55,575
But you usually give in
and we watch my shows! [Laughs]
685
00:22:55,655 --> 00:22:56,975
[Guests laugh]
686
00:22:57,055 --> 00:22:59,495
I mean, what more
could a girl ask for? [Laughs]
687
00:22:59,575 --> 00:23:02,695
Except perhaps a rock
on my finger. Hint, hint.
688
00:23:02,775 --> 00:23:03,895
Got it. Got it.
689
00:23:03,896 --> 00:23:04,814
[Chelsea] Got it!
690
00:23:04,815 --> 00:23:06,134
- Love you, Gooby.
- [Ashley laughs falsely]
691
00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:08,735
So let's all raise a glass
692
00:23:08,815 --> 00:23:13,975
and wish a very happy birthday
to my Gooby, Gordon.
693
00:23:13,976 --> 00:23:15,094
[Guests] To Gordon!
694
00:23:15,095 --> 00:23:17,975
- Happy birthday!
- [Guests] Happy birthday.
695
00:23:17,976 --> 00:23:19,854
- [Brett] Happy birthday.
- Happy birthday.
696
00:23:19,855 --> 00:23:21,294
[Alistair] Come on.
I just need a second.
697
00:23:21,295 --> 00:23:22,975
There's no...
There's no speeches.
698
00:23:23,055 --> 00:23:25,055
Heavy, Heavy, Heavy.
No more speeches.
699
00:23:25,056 --> 00:23:26,174
- Just let...
- Okay.
700
00:23:26,175 --> 00:23:27,975
..me say some words.
Come on, Chels.
701
00:23:27,976 --> 00:23:29,294
- [Feedback whines]
- Give it to me.
702
00:23:29,295 --> 00:23:30,975
I'll introduce you. Oh, my God!
703
00:23:31,055 --> 00:23:32,175
Hey, look at that.
704
00:23:32,255 --> 00:23:35,775
Everyone, this is, um, Alistair,
Gordon's brother!
705
00:23:35,776 --> 00:23:37,054
- Whoo!
- [Guests cheer]
706
00:23:37,055 --> 00:23:38,735
Hand it over. Fuckin' hell,
707
00:23:38,815 --> 00:23:40,415
I had to work hard for that one.
708
00:23:40,416 --> 00:23:41,294
[Mouths words]
709
00:23:41,295 --> 00:23:42,334
[Alistair] Uh, firstly,
710
00:23:42,335 --> 00:23:43,935
a big thanks to Chels
711
00:23:44,015 --> 00:23:45,895
for putting on this do
for Flash.
712
00:23:45,896 --> 00:23:47,854
Round of applause, everyone.
Come on!
713
00:23:47,855 --> 00:23:48,975
[Guests cheer]
714
00:23:49,055 --> 00:23:51,975
What do you reckon, eh?
She spared no expense.
715
00:23:51,976 --> 00:23:53,574
Especially since
she got the venue
716
00:23:53,575 --> 00:23:55,855
and all the piss for free.
[Laughs]
717
00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:58,935
- [Guests laugh]
- Oh, yeah.
718
00:23:59,015 --> 00:24:00,135
Uh, no, no, no.
719
00:24:00,215 --> 00:24:02,255
But, look, in all seriousness...
720
00:24:03,055 --> 00:24:04,255
..it's just so great
721
00:24:04,335 --> 00:24:06,805
that Flash has just
finally found the right girl.
722
00:24:06,855 --> 00:24:09,975
You just know when two people
are meant to be together
723
00:24:10,055 --> 00:24:13,535
and they just fully...
they fully get each other.
724
00:24:13,615 --> 00:24:16,775
And there's just no doubt
about it or anything.
725
00:24:16,855 --> 00:24:19,335
You know, I mean,
tonight he's brought Ash.
726
00:24:19,336 --> 00:24:20,254
No. Um...
727
00:24:20,255 --> 00:24:22,015
Chelsea's really cool with it.
728
00:24:22,095 --> 00:24:24,815
It's just such clean, honest,
729
00:24:24,895 --> 00:24:28,615
open, transparent love.
730
00:24:28,616 --> 00:24:30,974
And everyone's really,
really cool about it.
731
00:24:30,975 --> 00:24:34,535
Uh, okay. All right.
Well, that's about all from me.
732
00:24:34,615 --> 00:24:37,975
Oh, no.
Some words of advice, Flash.
733
00:24:38,055 --> 00:24:42,815
As our dear departed dad said
to me on my wedding day...
734
00:24:44,055 --> 00:24:46,895
..when the river runs red,
take the dirt road instead.
735
00:24:46,896 --> 00:24:48,294
- Okay. Thank you.
- Am I right?
736
00:24:48,295 --> 00:24:49,694
- [Laughs]
- [Alistair] Yeah. That's right.
737
00:24:49,695 --> 00:24:51,734
- [Chelsea] Thank you, Heavy.
- That's right!
738
00:24:51,735 --> 00:24:53,895
Let's fucking party!
739
00:24:53,975 --> 00:24:56,975
[Guests cheer]
740
00:24:57,055 --> 00:24:58,895
- Cheers, mate.
- Cheers, mate.
741
00:24:58,975 --> 00:25:00,495
What a speech.
742
00:25:00,575 --> 00:25:03,295
[Disco music]
743
00:25:09,335 --> 00:25:12,535
# I don't wanna hear about
that kind of day you had #
744
00:25:12,615 --> 00:25:16,335
# Or what happened on the job
that made you mad #
745
00:25:16,415 --> 00:25:20,215
# Tonight I don't wanna
just stay at home #
746
00:25:20,295 --> 00:25:24,095
# Let's find a little club
where we can be alone... #
747
00:25:24,175 --> 00:25:25,895
Have you said it?
748
00:25:25,975 --> 00:25:28,135
Like, "I'm the man
of the house."
749
00:25:28,215 --> 00:25:31,255
I don't have to say it.
I am the man of the house.
750
00:25:31,335 --> 00:25:32,535
Oh.
751
00:25:33,655 --> 00:25:34,975
Yes.
752
00:25:35,055 --> 00:25:36,615
Ooh, I felt that.
753
00:25:37,695 --> 00:25:38,855
You are.
754
00:25:38,935 --> 00:25:40,775
Yeah, I know.
755
00:25:41,366 --> 00:25:43,334
Well done.
756
00:25:43,335 --> 00:25:46,375
# I feel so romantic #
757
00:25:46,455 --> 00:25:50,335
# I want you to whisper
in my ear sweet... #
758
00:25:50,336 --> 00:25:52,294
I'm going to get you
another drink, Lynelle.
759
00:25:52,295 --> 00:25:54,975
I want that one finished
when I get back.
760
00:25:54,976 --> 00:25:56,094
Okay.
761
00:25:56,095 --> 00:25:59,375
# Dance, dance, dance #
762
00:25:59,455 --> 00:26:03,055
# It's been a while
since we had a good time #
763
00:26:03,135 --> 00:26:04,975
# So much pressure's been... #
764
00:26:05,055 --> 00:26:06,255
You're so...
765
00:26:07,055 --> 00:26:08,215
..elegant and tall!
766
00:26:08,295 --> 00:26:11,975
Ah! Thanks. [Laughs] Ohh.
767
00:26:12,055 --> 00:26:13,695
Is your skin care Korean?
768
00:26:13,696 --> 00:26:14,774
It is!
769
00:26:14,775 --> 00:26:15,975
- It is?
- Yes!
770
00:26:16,055 --> 00:26:18,055
I knew it! I knew it!
771
00:26:18,135 --> 00:26:20,135
[Guest laughs]
772
00:26:25,055 --> 00:26:27,095
- Hey, drunky, your Uber's here.
- Ahh.
773
00:26:27,175 --> 00:26:29,735
- You're not my wife.
- You wish.
774
00:26:29,815 --> 00:26:30,975
No. Is that this way?
775
00:26:31,055 --> 00:26:32,895
- Shall we call it?
- Yeah.
776
00:26:32,975 --> 00:26:35,975
Hey, Gordon, we're gonna
head out. Happy birthday, mate.
777
00:26:36,055 --> 00:26:37,815
Cheers, mate.
778
00:26:37,895 --> 00:26:39,215
Bye.
779
00:26:40,775 --> 00:26:41,975
[Alistair] Flash. Flash.
780
00:26:41,976 --> 00:26:44,454
- [David] Okay, Uberino time.
- [Alistair] Happy birthday.
781
00:26:44,455 --> 00:26:46,975
Actually, I might walk home,
if you don't mind.
782
00:26:46,976 --> 00:26:49,534
- Oh, I'm happy to walk.
- No, no, you Uber. I don't mind.
783
00:26:49,535 --> 00:26:51,895
Hell, no. Let's perambulate.
784
00:26:51,975 --> 00:26:53,095
- [Laughs]
- Okay.
785
00:26:53,175 --> 00:26:54,565
- Bye-bye.
- [Ashley] Mm-hm.
786
00:26:54,575 --> 00:26:57,775
Thanks for coming,
Ashley and David.
787
00:26:57,855 --> 00:26:59,335
[Laughs]
788
00:26:59,336 --> 00:27:01,494
So, I'll just group
all of these over here
789
00:27:01,495 --> 00:27:03,294
so it's easy for when
you empty the recycling.
790
00:27:03,295 --> 00:27:05,134
It's okay, Chels, I'll do that.
I'll do that.
791
00:27:05,135 --> 00:27:06,614
Let's put the cans on this side.
792
00:27:06,615 --> 00:27:08,495
Chelsea, I know
how to clean the bar.
793
00:27:08,686 --> 00:27:10,534
What's wrong?
794
00:27:10,535 --> 00:27:12,655
- Oh, nothing. Sorry.
- Oh.
795
00:27:12,735 --> 00:27:13,975
- You all right?
- Yeah.
796
00:27:14,055 --> 00:27:15,135
Yeah.
797
00:27:15,215 --> 00:27:16,775
Hey, I... I met your ex.
798
00:27:16,855 --> 00:27:17,975
Oh, yeah?
799
00:27:18,055 --> 00:27:20,935
- Yeah. She's sweet.
- Yeah.
800
00:27:21,015 --> 00:27:22,855
- Quirky.
- Yeah.
801
00:27:22,935 --> 00:27:24,325
- Not really your type.
- Nah.
802
00:27:24,375 --> 00:27:26,535
[Laughs] I'm your type.
803
00:27:26,615 --> 00:27:27,975
Yes, you are.
804
00:27:28,055 --> 00:27:29,935
- Did you have fun?
- Yeah.
805
00:27:30,015 --> 00:27:31,335
- Good.
- Mmm.
806
00:27:33,055 --> 00:27:36,695
You deserve good things.
Love you.
807
00:27:36,775 --> 00:27:38,375
I love you.
808
00:27:39,486 --> 00:27:41,574
Ohh.
809
00:27:41,575 --> 00:27:43,014
- Oh, sorry. That was...
- Oh, yuck!
810
00:27:43,015 --> 00:27:44,134
- Yeah. Sorry.
- Yuck, yuck.
811
00:27:44,135 --> 00:27:46,054
- # Don't fuck me over... #
- You all right?
812
00:27:46,055 --> 00:27:47,175
Yeah.
813
00:27:47,255 --> 00:27:49,655
- # Sweet darlin'... #
- It's just yuck.
814
00:27:50,495 --> 00:27:52,095
# 'Cause I am the only... #
815
00:27:52,096 --> 00:27:53,854
[David] So good to
meet those guys.
816
00:27:53,855 --> 00:27:54,975
[Ashley] Yeah.
817
00:27:55,055 --> 00:27:56,535
- Really good people.
- Yeah.
818
00:27:56,615 --> 00:27:59,505
Well, of course they're good
people. You're a good person.
819
00:28:00,055 --> 00:28:01,975
Well, you're the best person.
820
00:28:02,055 --> 00:28:03,175
Thank you.
821
00:28:03,255 --> 00:28:04,535
# Sweet darlin'... #
822
00:28:04,615 --> 00:28:06,365
I know I might be biased,
but still...
823
00:28:06,415 --> 00:28:07,655
# I am the only... #
824
00:28:07,656 --> 00:28:09,374
I think you're
pretty bloody great.
825
00:28:09,375 --> 00:28:11,175
# One you should see... #
826
00:28:11,255 --> 00:28:13,215
Thanks, David.
827
00:28:14,055 --> 00:28:16,135
# Ooh #
828
00:28:20,255 --> 00:28:23,535
# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh #
829
00:28:28,055 --> 00:28:31,055
# Don't fuck me over #
830
00:28:32,175 --> 00:28:34,655
# Sweet darlin' #
831
00:28:35,455 --> 00:28:38,575
# 'Cause I am the only
832
00:28:39,735 --> 00:28:41,855
# One you should see #
833
00:28:41,905 --> 00:28:46,455
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