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(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Times and stickers leave the money on the
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counter.
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Yeah You know Jake, I don't know if
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I've ever told you this before but you
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have a really great job I mean, I
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really admire what you're doing Don't know what
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you want Bob but the answer is no
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I Don't want anything.
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I've just been watching what you do here
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and you're so lucky I mean you give
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people pleasure.
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They come to you for the things that
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make them feel good newspapers candy cigarettes skin
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magazine exactly the necessity It's my job or
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more like that.
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Hey Bob, your job's important.
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You're the superintendent of a building think about
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it People call you the super Mostly just
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a title You solve people's problems meanwhile, I
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sell candy cigarettes and porn I am their
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problem But at least you get respect, you
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know, I'm sure the people in your building
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respect you too Bob you lazy little hairball.
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What are you gonna get off your ass
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and fix my damn stove?
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All right.
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He doesn't respect you.
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At least he needs you taking a pack
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of cigarettes.
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He needs you more Do the money on
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the counter?
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Hey Reg, get out here.
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We I need coffee Don't you ever get
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tired of barking at me for coffee don't
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you ever get tired of talking before you
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give it to me Before and after Hey,
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I wasn't kidding Bob, what are you gonna
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fix my stove?
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Hey, look I came to your apartment to
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fix it last night, but it sounded like
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there was a party going on So I
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left I wasn't even home last night.
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I was out on a date.
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Okay, so we're both lying Look I forgot
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about you stole you're on the list.
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Yeah, I got a list to Bob and
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you were on it So Becker, I didn't
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know you had a date.
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Oh dear.
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Did I forget to clear that with the
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Entertainment Committee?
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So, how'd it go I took me forever
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to get there I got stuck in traffic
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You know, would someone please tell me why
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they do construction in the middle of rush
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hour for once?
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Can we skip traffic and get right to
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the news?
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No, it was a good time, you know,
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that's that's terrific.
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As a matter of fact, it's the best
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date I've had in quite a long time.
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Oh good.
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I'm happy for you.
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Yeah, I'm just sorry that you got a
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headache and had to leave early Okay, normal
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people know this and now I'll tell you
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There are no headaches on great dates that
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was an excuse to leave because she was
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having a terrible time Now, you don't know
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what you're talking about Reg.
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You were late.
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Did you at least say you were sorry?
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Sorry for what it wasn't my fault You
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say I'm sorry to be polite You're sorry
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you made her wait you're sorry you inconvenienced
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her.
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Yeah, I Was there you weren't, you know,
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trust me.
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We had a great time You had a
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great time.
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She had a headache Rebecca if you knew
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anything at all about women you'd call her
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up and you tell her you're sorry Yeah,
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you know and if you knew anything about
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men, you'd be home ruining your husband's life
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instead of here ruining mine I'm taking a
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paper here today.
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Oh, Jake, may I go for it?
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Leave the money on the counter?
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God what a rush Morning
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Margaret Just give me a minute you can
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send the first one back well Well, what
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don't you well what me you know very
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well what?
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What the Medicare forms you promised you would
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have your diagnostic notes completed three days ago
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Look Margaret, they're done.
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I just left them back in my apartment
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liar They're not done and they're still in
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your office.
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Oh, thank God.
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I thought I'd lost them If We don't
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submit the forms we don't get reimbursed which
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means not only is there no money coming
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in there's no Margaret coming in You coming
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in here I don't even know why I
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bother talking to you.
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Yeah.
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No Margaret.
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Wait a minute.
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Wait a minute.
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Come back here Let me try this Hey,
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uh Margaret I'm sorry What the hell kind
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of answer is that Well, it was a
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you know, I was trying Reggie said you
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Repeatedly break your promise cover it up with
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lies Then you waste my time by forcing
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me to remind you to do your job
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and you think that you can wipe the
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slate clean by Saying I'm sorry You know,
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it didn't sound right to me either Damn
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Reggie What Linda I'm busy get out My
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parents are fighting again, then it's my dad's
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birthday.
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Well, so get him a tie now get
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out Throwing in this party.
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My mom's so furious at both of them
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for you know, the whole adultery thing So
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I'm caught in the middle.
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I don't want my mom to be mad
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at me But on the other hand, it's
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dad's birthday and I don't want to offend
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his girlfriend.
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I mean the woman practically raised me Wow
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Wow tough break That's all you can say
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tough break No, all right.
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Wait, uh Yeah, I'm sorry You don't even
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care what I'm going through I bet you
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didn't even listen to one word I said
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I was too listening It was something about
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a tie Okay, so let me get this
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straight if a tenant has a problem they
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just call you up on that cell phone
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Yep, that way wherever I am.
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I can always be reached.
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Oh Look at that 23 messages Wow, you
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really are needed.
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So what do you say Jake you want
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to trade jobs?
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I have to admit the idea does intrigue
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me, but I gotta tell you Bob.
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I'm not exactly mr.
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Fix Hell I'm barely mr.
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Find it Nothing to it when a tenant
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calls you tell them they're on the list
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and then you hook them up with the
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train professional I can do that.
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Congratulations, my friend.
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You're officially the new super.
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That's it.
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Not quite You really need all these keys
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now, this one's the master I just keep
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the rest of you but I like the
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jingle Got something for you, too Here's my
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cash box.
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Oh, yeah I Gotta be honest my heart's
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racing Thanks a lot, you know, thanks a
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whole hell of a lie, you know what
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you did to me think about it Becker
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Where am I gonna get fresh seafood?
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What oh Well, then never mind What were
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you talking about all that crap about?
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I'm sorry.
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I tried it completely worthless Margaret she had
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a problem with it, right?
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So I'd say I'm sorry Didn't work at
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all.
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Then Linda had Something, you know, and I
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said, sorry, and I didn't work with her
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either You want to know why?
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Oh, yeah, please enlighten me because you're an
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idiot I'm sorry isn't like Like ketchup.
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You can't just dump it all over everything
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and expect it to hide all your mistakes
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so Then what the hell good is I'm
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sorry Well, if you're sincere it can mean
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all kinds of things it can mean I'm
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listening it can mean I care What if
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I don't care then don't say it but
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I won't Then you'll be sitting alone in
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that stupid apartment watching TV eating Chinese takeout
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for the rest of your life Hey, you
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know what makes you such an expert on
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successful relationships, I'm an expert on failed relationships
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Yeah, well, you're sorry life aside, you know,
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I did not screw up with Beth and
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I'll prove it to you Okay, I didn't
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know you had a cell phone.
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I only use it for emergencies like proving
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you wrong Hey, Beth.
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Hi, John Becker.
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How you doing?
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Uh, well good.
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Listen, I was wondering are you free Saturday?
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Really?
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Well, that's even better Yeah.
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All right.
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How about dinner?
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Yeah, I'll meet you at Nikolai's eight o
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'clock great Ah, yeah, not only did she
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say yes, but she doesn't want to wait
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until Saturday.
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We're gonna meet tomorrow So as I may
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have mentioned, ah Becker today is Tuesday.
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That means tomorrow is Wednesday.
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Well, thanks big bird Maybe later we'll work
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on numbers You have a Wednesday date a
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Wednesday so so she doesn't want to waste
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a Saturday on you Wednesday dates are pity
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dates.
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Oh That's ridiculous.
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Hey Jake.
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Hey, you ever insulted when a woman wants
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to go out to you on a Wednesday?
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Never ha I never go out on Wednesday.
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That's pity night You Get both just full
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of it.
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No, just nothing negative about a Wednesday date.
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He's right.
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Oh Bob dates around Wednesdays You know, well
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I have to get back to work Hello
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The super yeah, hold on.
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I'll get him for you you Yeah Your
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showers leaking You're on the list So good
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man Hey,
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dr.
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Becker, you have a patient in room one
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and mr.
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Tillman stopped by and left a urine sample
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Please God let it be in a cup
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this time I Want to want to ask
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you something Linda you go out a lot
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of guys, right?
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Well, not really.
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I mean Yeah Well, what do you think
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about going out on Wednesday night dr.
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Becker, I really don't think that's appropriate I
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mean, it's okay.
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You're a man.
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I'm an incredibly desirable woman But how to
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say this When I choose who to go
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out with I kind of have this rule
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you could be old you could be poor
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But you can't be both Linda I'm not
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talking about us.
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Dr. Becker.
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There is no us I'm not asking you
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out.
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I just want to know if a Wednesday
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date has some kind of secret meaning.
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No, thank you It's no secret Wednesday's pity
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night I Can I be the only one
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who doesn't know this Mr. Specter, I'm sorry
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to keep you waiting.
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That's okay.
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I got time.
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I Do have time, right?
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Yeah, you haven't paid your bill in three
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months.
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You're not going anywhere Hey, let me ask
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you something you're old you'd know Is there
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some kind of secret, you know to get
274
00:11:46,870 --> 00:11:47,690
along with women?
275
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:49,210
dr.
276
00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:53,290
Becker, I Been with a lot of women.
277
00:11:53,550 --> 00:11:54,290
Oh, yeah, really?
278
00:11:54,830 --> 00:12:00,470
Okay for But there's only one thing that's
279
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:03,770
ever worked for me Saying you're sorry, right?
280
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,350
Oh, sorry makes you sound weak and helpless
281
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:08,970
like some kind of sissy So what do
282
00:12:08,970 --> 00:12:09,350
you do?
283
00:12:09,750 --> 00:12:15,070
I cry You cry well, I've only done
284
00:12:15,070 --> 00:12:18,070
it twice Once when my wife found out
285
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:20,170
I really didn't go to a sales convention
286
00:12:20,170 --> 00:12:23,030
in Cleveland and Another time when she found
287
00:12:23,030 --> 00:12:24,890
out the person I didn't go with was
288
00:12:24,890 --> 00:12:30,190
her sister Fake crying, huh?
289
00:12:30,630 --> 00:12:31,490
How does that work?
290
00:12:31,930 --> 00:12:33,370
Well, I pull a hair out of my
291
00:12:33,370 --> 00:12:37,630
nose Keep that in mind tilt your head
292
00:12:37,630 --> 00:12:37,830
up.
293
00:12:38,830 --> 00:12:39,270
Wow.
294
00:12:39,530 --> 00:12:45,550
Well, you really have only cried twice So
295
00:12:46,690 --> 00:12:48,470
How long have you and your wife been
296
00:12:48,470 --> 00:12:54,050
together we got married in 45 divorced in
297
00:12:54,050 --> 00:12:59,490
46 Well, have you been alone this whole
298
00:12:59,490 --> 00:13:02,310
time you bet it's the good life I
299
00:13:02,970 --> 00:13:05,590
Got nobody to answer to nobody bothering me.
300
00:13:05,630 --> 00:13:08,610
I got TV I got takeout and if
301
00:13:08,610 --> 00:13:10,310
I want to see people there's a nice
302
00:13:10,310 --> 00:13:12,990
little coffee shop I can go to Well,
303
00:13:13,050 --> 00:13:14,310
you know how great it is.
304
00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:23,650
You're single Yeah the good life John I
305
00:13:23,650 --> 00:13:25,470
Have a message from a woman named Beth
306
00:13:25,470 --> 00:13:26,690
confirming your date tonight.
307
00:13:26,950 --> 00:13:29,110
Thank you, and I got something for you
308
00:13:29,110 --> 00:13:29,970
Here you go.
309
00:13:29,990 --> 00:13:32,270
Medicare forms all filled out and ready to
310
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:37,770
go Good Good That's it.
311
00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:39,670
You've been nagging me for days, you know,
312
00:13:39,730 --> 00:13:41,270
here they are, you know, where's the way
313
00:13:41,270 --> 00:13:42,050
to go John?
314
00:13:42,190 --> 00:13:43,070
Where's the attaboy?
315
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:46,690
You know, I have my work here.
316
00:13:46,830 --> 00:13:49,110
I have a lot going on at home
317
00:13:49,110 --> 00:13:51,890
and Still you want me to pat you
318
00:13:51,890 --> 00:13:53,510
on your head because you finally did what
319
00:13:53,510 --> 00:13:55,170
you were supposed to do last week Well
320
00:13:55,170 --> 00:13:55,730
fine.
321
00:13:55,970 --> 00:13:56,830
Good job.
322
00:13:56,930 --> 00:14:05,290
Thank you way to go Hey Well, come
323
00:14:05,290 --> 00:14:05,430
on.
324
00:14:05,510 --> 00:14:07,230
I appreciate what you do around here.
325
00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:08,830
And I know that sometimes I make your
326
00:14:08,830 --> 00:14:11,730
job a lot harder From now on you
327
00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:12,670
tell me to do something.
328
00:14:12,750 --> 00:14:13,130
It's done.
329
00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:13,890
No excuses.
330
00:14:15,070 --> 00:14:16,330
I Guess what I'm trying to say is
331
00:14:16,330 --> 00:14:22,110
I'm sorry Wow John a real apology, I
332
00:14:22,110 --> 00:14:35,550
really think you mean it Thank you So
333
00:14:35,550 --> 00:14:50,800
you're sorry and mean I
334
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:53,060
Did you order a Kahlua and coke yeah
335
00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:56,660
when I was like 11 But a half
336
00:14:56,660 --> 00:14:58,820
hour ago I ordered a beer sir, you
337
00:14:58,820 --> 00:15:00,060
don't have to snap at me.
338
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:03,640
All right, right you probably have feelings, too
339
00:15:08,580 --> 00:15:09,580
I'm sorry.
340
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:12,120
Thank you.
341
00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:13,380
I appreciate that.
342
00:15:13,540 --> 00:15:23,340
I'll go get you that beer Wow Hmm
343
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:25,620
I Know I'm late.
344
00:15:25,740 --> 00:15:27,760
But well you of all people will appreciate
345
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,020
this I'm coming across the bridge and all
346
00:15:30,020 --> 00:15:32,160
of a sudden traffic comes to a dead
347
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:36,400
stop now why a Road crew is repainting
348
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,420
the lines on the street and right in
349
00:15:38,420 --> 00:15:39,720
the middle of rush hour.
350
00:15:39,860 --> 00:15:44,260
I know I know that is so Unfair
351
00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:48,560
That must have been very frustrating yeah, I'm
352
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:53,680
sorry Well, how was the rest of your
353
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:55,280
day, huh the rest of my day sucked
354
00:15:55,280 --> 00:16:01,320
I'm sorry Why you didn't make it suck
355
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:05,240
no, I know that I'm just I was
356
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:08,380
just I Probably shouldn't have brought it up.
357
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:16,460
I'm sorry I Have no idea Maybe I
358
00:16:16,460 --> 00:16:17,080
should get a drink.
359
00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:20,080
Oh, yeah, I'll get the waitress here miss
360
00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:23,620
Miss hey, what am I invisible here?
361
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:27,200
You know, I think She seems to be
362
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:31,580
a little busy right now Bread no, thanks.
363
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,300
I just started this new low-carb diet.
364
00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:34,700
Oh, tell me about it.
365
00:16:35,540 --> 00:16:40,440
It's low-carb What Then I probably shouldn't
366
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:41,300
have offered you the bread.
367
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:46,100
Oh, I'm sorry John what's wrong with you?
368
00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:47,820
You seem different tonight.
369
00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:51,600
Yeah, you're damn, right But better, huh?
370
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,800
Little confusing I'm sorry.
371
00:16:56,020 --> 00:16:59,860
Well, you just don't seem like yourself That
372
00:16:59,860 --> 00:17:01,820
that's because on our first date I came
373
00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:03,400
on a little strong and right now I'm
374
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,119
trying to be a little more like, you
375
00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:07,619
know, someone who you as a woman would
376
00:17:07,619 --> 00:17:12,200
want me to be well, stop it Don't
377
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,040
say I'm sorry, okay.
378
00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:18,740
Well, don't just agree with me We first
379
00:17:18,740 --> 00:17:20,280
met in the bookstore you were screaming at
380
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:21,720
the cashier that the line would move a
381
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:23,420
lot faster if she just ring the Books
382
00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:25,079
up instead of reviewing every damn.
383
00:17:25,319 --> 00:17:26,599
No, I shouldn't have said that.
384
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:30,760
I'm sorry Seeing that John I liked you
385
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:31,340
in the bookstore.
386
00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:33,000
I liked you on our date.
387
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:33,680
You were strong.
388
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,640
You had opinions I said to myself finally
389
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,880
a man what's happened to you?
390
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:40,040
Well, if you liked me, then why did
391
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:41,600
you fake a headache and leave early?
392
00:17:41,820 --> 00:17:42,740
I didn't fake a headache.
393
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:45,180
I had a headache Then what the hell
394
00:17:45,180 --> 00:17:46,520
are we doing here on a Wednesday?
395
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,180
What are you talking about?
396
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:53,100
Oh, please everybody knows Wednesday's pity night What?
397
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:07,580
Oh Wednesday's not pity night Give me another
398
00:18:07,580 --> 00:18:08,120
chance here.
399
00:18:08,180 --> 00:18:09,320
This is not me tonight.
400
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:12,420
I was acting on some extremely bad advice.
401
00:18:12,540 --> 00:18:14,220
Look, I'm not caring I'm not sensitive.
402
00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:15,160
Come on, please.
403
00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:16,160
Let me prove it to you.
404
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:20,080
Oh, please John don't Yeah, you can bring
405
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:21,680
me the beer I ordered three years ago,
406
00:18:21,740 --> 00:18:23,180
I mean what's your problem you take an
407
00:18:23,180 --> 00:18:28,820
order write it down you moron Stop trying
408
00:18:28,820 --> 00:18:29,560
to impress me.
409
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:32,400
It's pathetic And do me a favor lose
410
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:33,040
my number.
411
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:33,780
Oh, no, come on.
412
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,120
Wait, wait, you gotta believe me.
413
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,640
Listen, I don't care What's your day?
414
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:38,180
I don't care about your feelings.
415
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:40,260
You know what else that dress makes your
416
00:18:40,260 --> 00:18:53,820
ass look huge The
417
00:18:53,820 --> 00:18:54,740
money on the counter.
418
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:05,680
Yeah, you're on the list What was that
419
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:06,480
mrs.
420
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,920
Garcia drank loved again, yeah, she told me
421
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:13,840
to rot in hell God I miss her
422
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,380
Take Can I ask you something?
423
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:22,320
Yeah You ever miss it, you know your
424
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:26,920
job Why do you ask well, I don't
425
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:27,080
know.
426
00:19:27,140 --> 00:19:29,560
I just thought that if you did I
427
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,520
suppose there's nothing stopping us from trading back
428
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:32,160
Yeah, there you go.
429
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:42,240
Great Oh Right, sir Morning Jake
430
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,680
taking a times and a Snickers leave the
431
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:45,360
money on the counter.
432
00:19:45,940 --> 00:19:51,040
Oh, yeah Well, you did it again hey
433
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,460
a lot of people ordered the roast beef
434
00:19:52,460 --> 00:19:57,980
and nothing happened to them Never mind How
435
00:19:57,980 --> 00:20:00,440
are you talking about Beth and she liked
436
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,240
me she liked me the way I was
437
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,200
the real me not the me you created
438
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:08,060
in this little lab of yours She liked
439
00:20:08,060 --> 00:20:10,020
you being rude insensitive and obnoxious.
440
00:20:10,140 --> 00:20:12,320
Yeah, not to mention uncaring unfeeling and short
441
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:16,540
-tempered Are you trying to tell me you
442
00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:18,400
meant the only other social mutant on the
443
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,340
entire planet?
444
00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:21,080
Yeah, what are the odds of that happening
445
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:21,540
again?
446
00:20:23,580 --> 00:20:25,320
I was just trying to help out.
447
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:25,900
I'm sorry.
448
00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:26,940
Sorry.
449
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:28,080
Yeah, take it from me.
450
00:20:28,220 --> 00:20:32,920
Sorry doesn't cut it Well, what do you
451
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,720
want me to do I just want you
452
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,280
to listen All right.
453
00:20:37,340 --> 00:20:38,780
I'm listening good.
454
00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:44,140
I hate you Now you when are you
455
00:20:44,140 --> 00:20:46,060
gonna fix my damn stove you on the
456
00:20:46,060 --> 00:20:48,880
list like there's a list
457
00:21:08,180 --> 00:21:25,360
I
30534
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