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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,913 --> 00:00:05,782 YO-O-O, JOE! 2 00:00:05,869 --> 00:00:08,608 ♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪ 3 00:00:08,695 --> 00:00:10,304 ♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE 4 00:00:10,391 --> 00:00:13,478 ♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪ 5 00:00:13,565 --> 00:00:16,521 ♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE 6 00:00:16,608 --> 00:00:19,086 ♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪ 7 00:00:19,173 --> 00:00:21,043 ♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY 8 00:00:21,130 --> 00:00:24,434 ♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪ 9 00:00:24,521 --> 00:00:27,565 ♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪ 10 00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:30,608 ♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪ 11 00:00:30,695 --> 00:00:34,130 ♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE 12 00:00:34,217 --> 00:00:35,695 G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME 13 00:00:35,782 --> 00:00:39,086 FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE. 14 00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:42,173 ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA, 15 00:00:42,260 --> 00:00:44,000 A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION 16 00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:46,826 DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD. 17 00:00:46,913 --> 00:00:48,173 ♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP 18 00:00:48,260 --> 00:00:50,173 ♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪ 19 00:00:50,260 --> 00:00:52,043 ♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE 20 00:00:52,130 --> 00:00:55,608 ♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪ 21 00:00:55,695 --> 00:01:00,260 ♪ G.I. JOE 22 00:01:08,826 --> 00:01:10,695 Man: AND THAT'S THE NEWS AT 11:00. 23 00:01:10,782 --> 00:01:12,608 NEXT UP, TONIGHT'S MYSTERY MOVIE 24 00:01:12,695 --> 00:01:16,521 STARRING DORIS DAY, DANNY KAYE, FAY WRAY, AND DORAN BAY. 25 00:01:23,043 --> 00:01:26,608 ALL RIGHT, LOUIE, MM, DROP THAT GUN! 26 00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:28,913 Lisa: MOM, I CAN'T MAKE IT HOME THIS WEEKEND. 27 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,652 YOU SHOULD HAVE WRITTEN, LISA. 28 00:01:30,739 --> 00:01:32,304 LONG DISTANCE IS EXPENSIVE. 29 00:01:32,391 --> 00:01:34,652 NO PROBLEM. I'M ON A SATELLITE PHONE SERVICE. 30 00:01:34,739 --> 00:01:36,391 IT'S WAY CHEAPER! 31 00:01:43,086 --> 00:01:46,347 AH! UGH! 32 00:01:46,434 --> 00:01:48,652 [ BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY ] 33 00:01:48,739 --> 00:01:50,478 UGH! 34 00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:56,521 HOOO-AHH! 35 00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:04,608 SAY, ROADBLOCK, 36 00:02:04,695 --> 00:02:07,652 WHAT'S A FIVE-LETTER WORD FOR "CUBIC DECIMETER?" 37 00:02:07,739 --> 00:02:09,478 FRENCH OR AMERICAN? 38 00:02:09,565 --> 00:02:11,956 IT SAYS "FR." AFTER THE CLUE. 39 00:02:12,043 --> 00:02:16,043 IN THAT CASE, IT'S LITRE, L-I-T-R-E. 40 00:02:16,130 --> 00:02:17,913 I RECKON ALL YOU GOURMET CHEFS 41 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,043 "PARLEZ-VOUS" THE FRENCH, HUH? 42 00:02:20,130 --> 00:02:21,608 ABSOLUMENT. 43 00:02:21,695 --> 00:02:22,956 I'M GONNA GO CATCH THE NEWS. 44 00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:26,217 Announcer: THIS IS THE COBRA TELEVISION NETWORK. 45 00:02:26,304 --> 00:02:29,652 AND NOW "FATHER'S NO BEAST," 46 00:02:29,739 --> 00:02:32,826 THE STORY OF A MAN WHO LIVES TWO LIVES -- 47 00:02:32,913 --> 00:02:36,565 GOOD CITIZEN BY DAY AND WEREWOLF BY NIGHT. 48 00:02:36,652 --> 00:02:38,826 DON'T TRUST ANYBODY. 49 00:02:38,913 --> 00:02:41,565 I COULD BE YOUR NEIGHBOR! 50 00:02:41,652 --> 00:02:43,260 [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] 51 00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:46,695 HEY, YOU GUYS! GET IN HERE! 52 00:02:46,782 --> 00:02:47,913 YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS! 53 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,913 -WHAT'S HAPPENING? -JUST CHECK THIS OUT. 54 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,391 THE COBRA TELEVISION NETWORK PRESENTS... 55 00:02:53,478 --> 00:02:57,695 "THE C TEAM," STARRING MR. C. 56 00:02:57,782 --> 00:03:01,869 I PITY THE FOOL THAT DOESN'T JOIN COBRA. 57 00:03:01,956 --> 00:03:03,217 I PITY HIM! 58 00:03:03,304 --> 00:03:05,565 IT'S A JOKE, RIGHT, A VIDEOTAPE? 59 00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,304 NO SIREE BOB, DUKE. 60 00:03:07,391 --> 00:03:08,739 THAT'S REAL TV. 61 00:03:08,826 --> 00:03:10,217 ALL THE CHANNELS ARE LIKE THAT. 62 00:03:10,304 --> 00:03:12,304 SO, UH, WHEN DID YOU FIRST DISCOVER 63 00:03:12,391 --> 00:03:14,043 YOU WANTED TO RULE THE WORLD? 64 00:03:14,130 --> 00:03:15,739 COBRA COMMANDER. 65 00:03:15,826 --> 00:03:19,434 I WAS 6 WHEN I REALIZED I COULD RUN SOCIETY BETTER 66 00:03:19,521 --> 00:03:21,869 THAN THE MORONS WHO WERE IN CHARGE. 67 00:03:21,956 --> 00:03:23,043 THAT OLD, HUH? 68 00:03:23,130 --> 00:03:25,086 SLOW LEARNER, I GUESS. 69 00:03:25,173 --> 00:03:29,478 SINCE THAT DAY, I'VE DEVOTED ALL MY ENERGIES 70 00:03:29,565 --> 00:03:33,304 TO IMPROVING THE QUALITY OF LIFE FOR MY FELLOW MAN. 71 00:03:33,391 --> 00:03:35,826 AND I SHALL SUCCEED! 72 00:03:35,913 --> 00:03:40,043 THIS NEW ERA IN TELEVISION IS ONLY THE BEGINNING. 73 00:03:40,130 --> 00:03:41,826 COBRA! 74 00:03:41,913 --> 00:03:44,130 YOU DON'T THINK ANYBODY WILL WATCH THAT GARBAGE? 75 00:03:44,217 --> 00:03:46,304 SOME PEOPLE WILL WATCH ANYTHING, SCARLETT. 76 00:03:46,391 --> 00:03:48,478 Duke: THAT'S NOT THE WORST OF IT, LADY JAYE. 77 00:03:48,565 --> 00:03:50,260 SOME PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE ANYTHING. 78 00:03:56,913 --> 00:03:58,956 -HE'S GOT THE PLANES! -YES. 79 00:03:59,043 --> 00:04:00,304 YOU CAN NEVER WIN 80 00:04:00,391 --> 00:04:03,652 IF YOUR ENEMY IS BIGGER AND STRONGER THAN YOU. 81 00:04:03,739 --> 00:04:05,782 YOU CHANGED THE ENDING? 82 00:04:05,869 --> 00:04:09,652 YES, TO PROMOTE COBRA'S SOCIAL PHILOSOPHY. 83 00:04:09,739 --> 00:04:11,652 HOW WAS THIS ACCOMPLISHED? 84 00:04:11,739 --> 00:04:16,260 COMPUTERS, OF COURSE -- VOICE AND PICTURE SYNTHESIS. 85 00:04:16,347 --> 00:04:17,869 AMAZING. 86 00:04:17,956 --> 00:04:21,130 BUT, COMMANDER, WHY MOVE OUR ENTIRE OPERATION 87 00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:23,130 TO THIS HIMALAYAN PEAK? 88 00:04:23,217 --> 00:04:26,304 BECAUSE G.I. JOE WILL NEVER FIND US HERE 89 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:30,347 AND WE CAN BEAM OUR PROGRAMS TO OUR SATELLITE 90 00:04:30,434 --> 00:04:32,304 WITH NO INTERFERENCE. 91 00:04:32,391 --> 00:04:34,130 I WOULD FEEL MORE SECURE 92 00:04:34,217 --> 00:04:37,391 IF THE JOES' ACTIVITIES WERE UNDER CONTROL. 93 00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:40,130 YOU LACK IMAGINATION, DESTRO. 94 00:04:40,217 --> 00:04:43,826 WE POSSESS THE ULTIMATE WEAPON OF CONTROL. 95 00:04:43,913 --> 00:04:48,347 PEOPLE TRUST TELEVISION. IT'S THEIR FRIEND. 96 00:04:48,434 --> 00:04:52,478 THEY BELIEVE WHAT TELEVISION TELLS THEM ABOUT THE NEWS, 97 00:04:52,565 --> 00:04:55,391 THE WEATHER, OR G.I. JOE. 98 00:04:55,478 --> 00:04:57,434 DON'T YOU SEE? 99 00:04:57,521 --> 00:05:00,739 WE CONTROL THE CREATION OF TRUTH! 100 00:05:02,695 --> 00:05:04,913 SENATOR FLIM IS A BIT ODD, DUKE, 101 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,173 BUT HE'S ALSO HEAD 102 00:05:06,260 --> 00:05:07,869 OF THE AERONAUTICS AND SPACE COMMITTEE, SO... 103 00:05:07,956 --> 00:05:09,391 SO WE NEED HIS HELP. 104 00:05:09,478 --> 00:05:12,173 I'LL BE PATIENT, COLONEL SHARP. 105 00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:16,130 YOU MAY BE, UH, WONDERING WHY I CALLED YOU HERE TODAY. 106 00:05:16,217 --> 00:05:18,130 WELL, ACTUALLY, SIR, WE KNOW WHY. 107 00:05:18,217 --> 00:05:19,652 COBRA'S NEW SATELLITE 108 00:05:19,739 --> 00:05:22,000 HAS SEIZED CONTROL OF THE PUBLIC AIR WAVES. 109 00:05:22,086 --> 00:05:23,739 YOU WANT US TO KNOCK IT OUT OF ORBIT. 110 00:05:23,826 --> 00:05:27,130 UH, YES. WELL, UM, W-WELL, THAT'S IMPORTANT, TOO. 111 00:05:27,217 --> 00:05:28,347 BUT, UH... 112 00:05:28,434 --> 00:05:30,608 WE'VE TRIANGULATED THE SATELLITE'S POSITION, 113 00:05:30,695 --> 00:05:33,304 BUT OUR SkyStrikers NEED ROCKET BOOSTERS TO REACH IT. 114 00:05:33,391 --> 00:05:34,695 WELL, WELL, 115 00:05:34,782 --> 00:05:37,043 IF IT'LL HELP MAKE THE WORLD SAFE FOR DEMOCRACY, SON, 116 00:05:37,130 --> 00:05:38,391 YOU'VE GOT THEM. 117 00:05:38,478 --> 00:05:40,869 OH, NOW I REMEMBER WHY I CALLED YOU. 118 00:05:40,956 --> 00:05:42,391 SENATOR? 119 00:05:42,478 --> 00:05:46,217 CAN YOU GET ME TICKETS TO THE ARMY-NAVY FOOTBALL GAME? 120 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:49,478 I'LL, UM, LOOK INTO IT. 121 00:05:49,565 --> 00:05:51,521 Man: YOU MEAN TO TELL ME 122 00:05:51,608 --> 00:05:55,565 COBRA HAS THE ONLY TV NETWORK ON WHICH WE CAN ADVERTISE? 123 00:05:55,652 --> 00:05:56,739 -CORRECT. -CORRECT. 124 00:05:56,826 --> 00:05:59,173 AND BEING THE ONLY GAME IN TOWN... 125 00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:01,478 OUR CLIENT HAS DECIDED TO RAISE PRICES. 126 00:06:01,565 --> 00:06:04,869 30 SECONDS OF COMMERCIAL TIME WILL NOW COST... 127 00:06:04,956 --> 00:06:07,478 $5 MILLION. 128 00:06:07,565 --> 00:06:08,913 YOU'RE OFF YOUR ROCKER. 129 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,739 -TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. -TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. 130 00:06:10,826 --> 00:06:12,869 AND IF WE DECIDE TO LEAVE IT? 131 00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:14,217 THEN YOUR COMPETITORS... 132 00:06:14,304 --> 00:06:16,043 GET TO SELL THEIR DEODORANT... 133 00:06:16,130 --> 00:06:18,391 -OR BREAKFAST FOODS... -OR DESIGNER JEANS... 134 00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:20,869 Both: WHILE YOU GO OUT OF BUSINESS. 135 00:06:20,956 --> 00:06:21,869 ANY QUESTIONS? 136 00:06:21,956 --> 00:06:23,608 -NO. -NO. -NO. -NO. 137 00:06:23,695 --> 00:06:25,434 OH, GEE, LIKEABLES. 138 00:06:25,521 --> 00:06:27,130 NOBODY LIKES ME. 139 00:06:27,217 --> 00:06:29,130 THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU'RE DIFFERENT, KIRBY. 140 00:06:29,217 --> 00:06:31,391 ONLY WHEN EVERYBODY LOOKS ALIKE... 141 00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:33,652 -AND ACTS ALIKE... -AND THINKS ALIKE... 142 00:06:33,739 --> 00:06:35,565 AND NEVER, EVER GETS ANGRY... 143 00:06:35,652 --> 00:06:38,478 Both: CAN WE ACHIEVE WORLD PEACE. 144 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:39,913 Announcer: TUNE IN NEXT WEEK 145 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:45,304 FOR MORE PRO-SOCIAL FUN WITH "THE LIKEABLES." 146 00:06:45,391 --> 00:06:47,782 NOW, THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH. 147 00:06:47,869 --> 00:06:48,956 [ ALL MURMURING ] 148 00:06:49,043 --> 00:06:50,913 I'VE GOT THE ROCKET BOOSTERS INSTALLED. 149 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,652 THE SkyStrikers ARE READY, DUKE. 150 00:06:52,739 --> 00:06:54,608 ALPINE AND I ARE GOING UP WITH ACE. 151 00:06:54,695 --> 00:06:56,130 ALPINE, YOU? 152 00:06:56,217 --> 00:06:57,130 AND HOW. 153 00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:58,956 IF WE DON'T STOP COBRA THIS TIME, 154 00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:00,826 I MAY NEVER SEE "BOWLING FOR DOLLARS" AGAIN. 155 00:07:00,913 --> 00:07:05,304 ♪ LA-DEE-DA-DA, DA-DUM 156 00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:08,260 ♪ DA-DA-DA-DEE-DA-DA 157 00:07:08,347 --> 00:07:11,826 IT'S MINE, YOU KNOW, TOTALLY MINE! 158 00:07:11,913 --> 00:07:13,434 NO, COMMANDER. 159 00:07:13,521 --> 00:07:14,347 -UGH! -UGH! 160 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,173 THE BALL IS STILL IN PLAY. 161 00:07:17,260 --> 00:07:18,826 WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? 162 00:07:18,913 --> 00:07:21,173 OUR SATELLITE IS ABOUT TO... 163 00:07:21,260 --> 00:07:22,695 HAVE VISITORS. 164 00:07:22,782 --> 00:07:25,521 WHO'S PILOTING THOSE SkyStrikers? 165 00:07:25,608 --> 00:07:27,478 -ACE... -ALPINE... 166 00:07:27,565 --> 00:07:29,000 AND LADY JAYE. 167 00:07:29,086 --> 00:07:30,391 EXCELLENT! 168 00:07:30,478 --> 00:07:33,826 WE'LL KILL THREE BIRDS WITH ONE STONE. 169 00:07:33,913 --> 00:07:35,826 NOTIFY ZARTAN. 170 00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:38,652 -YES, COMMANDER. -YES, COMMANDER. 171 00:07:42,608 --> 00:07:44,826 ANTI-SATELLITE MISSILES IN PLACE. 172 00:07:44,913 --> 00:07:46,217 -ROGER. -Alpine: FRED. 173 00:07:46,304 --> 00:07:47,173 -HUH? -HUH? 174 00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:49,217 I'M SICK OF HEARING ABOUT ROGER. 175 00:07:49,304 --> 00:07:51,782 DON'T FIRE TILL WE HAVE VISUAL CONTACT WITH THE SATEL-- 176 00:07:51,869 --> 00:07:53,347 UH-OH. 177 00:07:53,434 --> 00:07:55,434 WE'RE PLAYING FOR BIGGER STAKES THAN WE THOUGHT, FOLKS. 178 00:07:55,521 --> 00:07:58,869 THAT'S NO ORDINARY SATELLITE. IT'S A MANNED SPACE STATION. 179 00:07:58,956 --> 00:08:02,565 PREPARE TO LAUNCH HEAT-SEEKING MISSILES. 180 00:08:02,652 --> 00:08:06,130 ALL RIGHT, ZARTAN. HERE GOES. 181 00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:10,826 HOLY TOLEDO! LOOK AT THAT! 182 00:08:10,913 --> 00:08:11,739 FIRE! 183 00:08:28,347 --> 00:08:29,652 FAREWELL, JOES. 184 00:08:29,739 --> 00:08:32,565 SORRY YOU COULDN'T STAY LONGER. 185 00:08:32,652 --> 00:08:33,869 [ CHUCKLES ] 186 00:08:33,956 --> 00:08:36,130 Buzzer: YEAH, YOU HAVE A NICE TRIP HOME, JOEYS! 187 00:08:36,217 --> 00:08:38,217 [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] 188 00:08:55,260 --> 00:08:57,173 LADY JAYE: Well, Ace, what do we do now? 189 00:08:57,260 --> 00:09:00,391 ACE: Use our oxygen to propel us out of orbit, 190 00:09:00,478 --> 00:09:02,695 then free-fall till there's enough atmosphere 191 00:09:02,782 --> 00:09:04,695 to catch the chutes. 192 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:11,913 I KNEW IT! 193 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,434 THEY FIGURED A WAY BACK TO EARTH. 194 00:09:19,391 --> 00:09:22,826 I clock our fall at 318 miles an hour. 195 00:09:22,913 --> 00:09:26,478 And the Earth rotates at 1,100 miles a minute, 196 00:09:26,565 --> 00:09:29,478 which means we hit the silk in 11 seconds. 197 00:09:29,565 --> 00:09:32,130 Yeah, well, see you guys wherever. 198 00:09:32,217 --> 00:09:33,565 Hey, in case it's nowhere, 199 00:09:33,652 --> 00:09:35,652 I was proud to serve with you two. 200 00:09:35,739 --> 00:09:42,565 3, 2, 1, now! 201 00:09:51,826 --> 00:09:53,782 And now for our next trick. 202 00:09:53,869 --> 00:09:55,782 WE UNDERESTIMATED COBRA'S DEFENSES, 203 00:09:55,869 --> 00:09:58,130 BUT WE WON'T MAKE THAT MISTAKE AGAIN. 204 00:09:58,217 --> 00:10:00,913 NEXT TIME, WE SEND UP A SQUADRON OF SkyStrikers 205 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,434 FITTED FOR SPACE DUTY 206 00:10:02,521 --> 00:10:05,173 AND AN ASTRONAUT TEAM WITH THE RIGHT STUFF. 207 00:10:05,260 --> 00:10:06,652 ACE WILL PICK THE CREW. 208 00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:08,000 ANY VOLUNTEERS? 209 00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:14,565 THEN LET'S START TESTING. 210 00:10:14,652 --> 00:10:16,608 [ ALL GROANING ] 211 00:10:20,565 --> 00:10:23,652 AND 104. 212 00:10:23,739 --> 00:10:26,347 OH, I HATE PUSH-UPS. 213 00:10:26,434 --> 00:10:28,000 WE ALL HATE PUSH-UPS. 214 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:29,695 THEN WHY DO THEM? 215 00:10:29,782 --> 00:10:31,521 THERE'S NO RESISTANCE IN SPACE. 216 00:10:31,608 --> 00:10:35,739 BECAUSE STRONGER IS STRONGER NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE. 217 00:10:35,826 --> 00:10:36,956 NO OFFENSE. 218 00:10:37,043 --> 00:10:40,869 I'LL STAY ON EARTH AND SETTLE FOR WEAKER. 219 00:10:40,956 --> 00:10:44,347 THIS IS WHAT ZERO GRAVITY IS LIKE. 220 00:10:44,434 --> 00:10:46,521 YOUR STOMACH AND YOUR MOUTH TRADE PLACES, 221 00:10:46,608 --> 00:10:49,565 AND YOUR BRAINS FEEL LIKE SOGGY COTTON. 222 00:10:49,652 --> 00:10:53,000 OHH, THIS AIN'T FOR ME! 223 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:54,260 WELL, HANG IN THERE. 224 00:10:54,347 --> 00:10:56,869 I'LL CHECK BACK IN A COUPLE OF HOURS. 225 00:10:58,608 --> 00:11:01,652 ALL RIGHT, NOW THAT YOU HAD YOUR FUN AT ZERO "G," 226 00:11:01,739 --> 00:11:05,260 LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE LIFE AT 10 TIMES THE EARTH'S GRAVITY. 227 00:11:05,347 --> 00:11:08,565 YEE-HAW! 228 00:11:19,173 --> 00:11:21,086 [ HOWLS ] 229 00:11:24,260 --> 00:11:26,217 AH, SORRY, YOU GUYS WERE ELIMINATED. 230 00:11:26,304 --> 00:11:28,913 YEAH, WELL, I CAN STILL MAKE MINCEMEAT OUT OF YOU 231 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,391 IN THE BOXING RING, AND DON'T FORGET IT. 232 00:11:31,478 --> 00:11:34,652 COME ON. SEE WHAT YOU MISSED OUT ON. 233 00:11:34,739 --> 00:11:36,913 THIS IS WHERE WE SIMULATE RE-ENTRY. 234 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,521 IF YOU MAKE IT THROUGH THIS, YOU'VE PASSED THE FINAL TEST. 235 00:11:40,608 --> 00:11:41,391 AND IF WE DON'T? 236 00:11:41,478 --> 00:11:43,347 THEN YOU'LL BE SO SHOOK UP, 237 00:11:43,434 --> 00:11:45,695 YOU'LL BE SITTING ON YOUR NOSE. 238 00:11:45,782 --> 00:11:46,782 HERE SHE GOES. 239 00:12:03,478 --> 00:12:05,217 LOOKS LIKE BAZOOKA'S OUT. 240 00:12:05,304 --> 00:12:07,608 Duke: THEN I GUESS YOU'VE GOT YOUR ASTRONAUTS. 241 00:12:07,695 --> 00:12:09,260 GOOD EVENING. 242 00:12:09,347 --> 00:12:14,173 AMONG OUR MOST PRECIOUS HUMAN RIGHTS IS THAT OF FREE SPEECH. 243 00:12:14,260 --> 00:12:16,608 NOW, THAT TAKES GALL. 244 00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:19,391 SEVERAL DAYS AGO, 245 00:12:19,478 --> 00:12:24,000 THIS NETWORK'S RIGHT TO INFORM AND ENTERTAIN YOU 246 00:12:24,086 --> 00:12:28,478 WAS ASSAULTED BY THE FORCES OF G.I. JOE. 247 00:12:28,565 --> 00:12:33,782 OUR ORBITING BROADCAST FACILITY REPELLED THIS ATTACK. 248 00:12:40,739 --> 00:12:43,652 BUT G.I. JOE MAY TRY AGAIN 249 00:12:43,739 --> 00:12:47,043 TO DEPRIVE YOU OF YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE. 250 00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:49,782 WE HAVE FORTIFIED OUR DEFENSES, 251 00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:53,478 BUT THE PRICE OF VIGILANCE IS HIGH. 252 00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:55,739 HELP KEEP COBRA ON THE AIR 253 00:12:55,826 --> 00:13:00,521 BY SENDING A GENEROUS CONTRIBUTION TO THIS ADDRESS. 254 00:13:00,608 --> 00:13:01,434 THANK YOU. 255 00:13:01,521 --> 00:13:02,608 THAT DOES IT. 256 00:13:02,695 --> 00:13:04,739 ACE, PREPARE FOR LAUNCH! 257 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,913 Flim: I HAD TO PULL A LOT OF STRINGS 258 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,739 TO GET GOVERNMENT FUNDING FOR THIS PROJECT. 259 00:13:09,826 --> 00:13:11,565 Duke: WELL, THAT'S WHAT STRINGS ARE FOR, SENATOR. 260 00:13:11,652 --> 00:13:12,608 START THE COUNTDOWN. 261 00:13:12,695 --> 00:13:15,000 T-MINUS 60 SECONDS AND COUNTING. 262 00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:18,217 SERGEANT, UH, WHAT IF IT, UH, DOESN'T WORK? 263 00:13:18,304 --> 00:13:21,652 THEN, SENATOR, WE LOSE SOME FINE SOLDIERS, 264 00:13:21,739 --> 00:13:24,173 AND COBRA'S NETWORK GETS TO POISON THE MINDS 265 00:13:24,260 --> 00:13:25,608 OF EVERYBODY ON EARTH. 266 00:13:25,695 --> 00:13:26,782 Ace: EVERYONE READY? 267 00:13:28,782 --> 00:13:31,478 Man: 3, 2, 1. 268 00:13:31,565 --> 00:13:32,521 WE HAVE IGNITION. 269 00:13:32,608 --> 00:13:36,043 COME ON! GO, YOU PUDDLE JUMPERS! 270 00:13:36,130 --> 00:13:38,565 DIDN'T YOU THINK THEY'D MAKE IT? 271 00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:41,173 WELL, RIDING A SIX-STORY BULLET INTO SPACE 272 00:13:41,260 --> 00:13:43,043 IS ALWAYS DICEY, SENATOR. 273 00:13:43,130 --> 00:13:46,000 [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] 274 00:13:46,086 --> 00:13:49,217 THOSE STUPID FOOLS. 275 00:13:49,304 --> 00:13:52,391 PUT ME BACK ON THE AIR IMMEDIATELY! 276 00:13:52,478 --> 00:13:54,347 Man: AND VARLEY'S HEADING FOR THE END ZONE -- 277 00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,956 HELLO, SPORTS FANS. 278 00:13:57,043 --> 00:14:00,695 YOU'RE ABOUT TO WITNESS SOME REAL EXCITEMENT. 279 00:14:00,782 --> 00:14:03,304 LIVE AND DIRECT FROM SPACE, 280 00:14:03,391 --> 00:14:08,434 A GAME OF LIFE AND DEATH BETWEEN G.I. JOE AND COBRA! 281 00:14:08,521 --> 00:14:10,086 I'm gonna lead us in. 282 00:14:10,173 --> 00:14:13,173 Prepare to disengage on my signal. 283 00:14:13,260 --> 00:14:15,347 THEY'RE COMING INTO RANGE, ZARTAN. 284 00:14:15,434 --> 00:14:19,391 YOUR DREADNOKS HAVE A KNACK FOR EXPRESSING THE OBVIOUS. 285 00:14:19,478 --> 00:14:22,869 AND YOU, DESTRO, FOR TURNING UP WHERE YOU'RE NOT WANTED. 286 00:14:22,956 --> 00:14:26,217 YOU WANTED MY NEW WEAPONS SYSTEM BADLY ENOUGH, THOUGH, 287 00:14:26,304 --> 00:14:27,434 DIDN'T YOU? 288 00:14:27,521 --> 00:14:29,434 MAN THE CANNONS! 289 00:14:38,695 --> 00:14:40,304 FIRE AT WILL! 290 00:14:40,391 --> 00:14:43,956 UH, WHO'S WILL? 291 00:14:45,391 --> 00:14:46,956 Disengage! 292 00:14:52,869 --> 00:14:54,521 Ace, can you read me? 293 00:14:54,608 --> 00:14:55,695 Ace? 294 00:14:55,782 --> 00:14:58,391 Go get 'em, guys. 295 00:14:58,478 --> 00:15:00,869 He's tumbling into deep space toward the sun. 296 00:15:00,956 --> 00:15:02,565 My...tough luck. 297 00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:06,695 Just knock those snakes... out of the sky. 298 00:15:06,782 --> 00:15:08,695 [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] 299 00:15:10,782 --> 00:15:12,521 I CAN'T HELP IT. 300 00:15:12,608 --> 00:15:16,347 I'M A SUCKER FOR TRUE-LIFE DRAMA. 301 00:15:16,434 --> 00:15:18,739 [ LAUGHS ] 302 00:15:40,913 --> 00:15:44,434 LADY JAYE: Ace, can you read me? Ace! 303 00:15:52,391 --> 00:15:54,086 That was much too close. 304 00:15:54,173 --> 00:15:57,260 We can't go after Ace till we've taken out the space station. 305 00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:59,652 Otherwise, they'll pick us off one by one 306 00:15:59,739 --> 00:16:01,478 and nobody will get back alive. 307 00:16:01,565 --> 00:16:02,782 I've got an idea. 308 00:16:02,869 --> 00:16:05,217 Follow me into that meteor swarm. 309 00:16:05,304 --> 00:16:06,782 Aw, brilliant. 310 00:16:06,869 --> 00:16:09,434 We'll finish ourselves off, save Cobra the trouble. 311 00:16:12,695 --> 00:16:13,869 THEY'RE RETREATING. 312 00:16:13,956 --> 00:16:16,173 OR SO THEY WOULD HAVE US BELIEVE. 313 00:16:16,260 --> 00:16:19,434 DESTRO'S RIGHT, ZARTAN. SCANNER'S PICKING UP SOMETHING. 314 00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:20,434 THERE IT IS. 315 00:16:25,913 --> 00:16:29,260 HE'S GOING TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF, RAM RIGHT INTO US. 316 00:16:29,347 --> 00:16:31,260 FIRE! 317 00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:37,086 IT WAS EMPTY! 318 00:16:37,173 --> 00:16:39,130 WE'VE BLOODY BEEN HAD! 319 00:16:39,217 --> 00:16:42,782 THAT KAMIKAZE ATTACK WAS JUST A DISTRACTION. 320 00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:44,782 THEY'RE HITTING US FROM ABOVE! 321 00:16:44,869 --> 00:16:46,565 Thanks for the lift, Alpine. 322 00:16:46,652 --> 00:16:48,130 Anytime, my man. 323 00:16:48,217 --> 00:16:50,608 THE CANNONS CAN'T BE AIMED STRAIGHT UP. 324 00:16:50,695 --> 00:16:51,913 WHAT DO WE DO? 325 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,347 WE RESPOND LIKE TECHNOLOGICAL WARRIORS, 326 00:16:55,434 --> 00:16:56,782 NOT SWAMP ANIMALS. 327 00:16:56,869 --> 00:16:59,391 STAND ASIDE AND REMAIN CALM. 328 00:16:59,478 --> 00:17:02,608 THE CANNONS ARE NOT OUR ONLY DEFENSE. 329 00:17:02,695 --> 00:17:03,956 WE CAN ALSO DEPLOY 330 00:17:04,043 --> 00:17:06,913 THE SOLAR-POWERED MOLECULAR DESTABILIZER. 331 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,304 HOLD ON NOW. WHAT'S THIS THING DO? 332 00:17:09,391 --> 00:17:15,130 PUT SIMPLY, IT CAPTURES ITS METALLIC PREY IN A TRACTOR BEAM 333 00:17:15,217 --> 00:17:19,043 AND RUPTURES ITS ATOMS THE WAY HEAT POPS CORN. 334 00:17:19,130 --> 00:17:20,478 Why are we stopping? 335 00:17:20,565 --> 00:17:23,956 'Cause we're caught in a groove and can't seem to move. 336 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,043 WHAT YOU WAITING FOR, DESTRO? 337 00:17:26,130 --> 00:17:27,782 POP THEM ALREADY! 338 00:17:29,826 --> 00:17:32,956 The ray is doing something to the plane's molecular structure. 339 00:17:33,043 --> 00:17:35,826 Everybody punch out now! 340 00:17:43,043 --> 00:17:44,521 OH, WAY TO GO, DESTRO! 341 00:17:44,608 --> 00:17:46,173 YOU REALLY DONE IT THAT TIME! 342 00:17:46,260 --> 00:17:47,652 YEAH! 343 00:17:47,739 --> 00:17:51,000 WHY DON'T YOU ASK FOR HIS AUTOGRAPH WHILE YOU'RE AT IT? 344 00:17:51,086 --> 00:17:53,130 Destro: THEY MUST BE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. 345 00:17:53,217 --> 00:17:55,260 Buzzer: NOT SO'S YOU'D KNOW IT, DESTRO. 346 00:17:55,347 --> 00:17:56,478 WHAT ABOUT THE RADAR? 347 00:17:56,565 --> 00:17:58,347 NOTHING. NO TRACE OF THEM. 348 00:17:58,434 --> 00:18:00,478 MAYBE THEY FELL BACK TO EARTH. 349 00:18:00,565 --> 00:18:03,391 Ripper: BURNED UP IN THE RUDDY ATMOSPHERE! 350 00:18:03,478 --> 00:18:06,304 Torch: YEAH, ASHES TO ASHES AND ALL THAT. 351 00:18:06,391 --> 00:18:09,391 RETRACT THE CANNONS. IT APPEARS WE'VE WON. 352 00:18:09,478 --> 00:18:10,652 [ CHEERING ] 353 00:18:10,739 --> 00:18:12,869 NOTIFY COBRA COMMANDER. 354 00:18:23,695 --> 00:18:24,608 [ SIGHS ] 355 00:18:24,695 --> 00:18:26,521 [ BREATHING HEAVILY ] 356 00:18:26,608 --> 00:18:29,478 THE COBRA SHUTTLES WILL BE OUR ONLY MEANS OF SAVING ACE 357 00:18:29,565 --> 00:18:31,043 AND RETURNING TO EARTH. 358 00:18:31,130 --> 00:18:34,260 WE'LL HAVE TO KNOCK OUT THIS SPACE STATION FROM THE INSIDE. 359 00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:35,478 AND PRONTO. 360 00:18:35,565 --> 00:18:37,739 THEY'LL GET WISE TO OUR TRICK BEFORE LONG. 361 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:40,608 SOMETHING -- SOMETHING -- 362 00:18:40,695 --> 00:18:43,130 I'VE OVERLOOKED SOMETHING. 363 00:18:43,217 --> 00:18:44,913 NOTHING ON RADAR. 364 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,043 SCANNERS NEG-- THE GUNPORTS! 365 00:18:49,652 --> 00:18:52,913 BLAST IT, IT'S TRUE! 366 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,608 [ LAUGHTER ] 367 00:18:54,695 --> 00:18:59,217 A TOAST, THEN, TO THE ELIMINATION OF G.I. JOE. 368 00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:00,869 STOP, YOU FOOLS! 369 00:19:00,956 --> 00:19:03,521 THEY'RE HERE, ABOARD THE SPACE STATION. 370 00:19:03,608 --> 00:19:06,260 Roadblock: IT MUST BE FATE. 371 00:19:06,347 --> 00:19:08,913 YOU CAUGHT ON TOO LATE! 372 00:19:14,130 --> 00:19:17,521 YOU IDIOT! YOU STOPPED OUR ROTATION. 373 00:19:17,608 --> 00:19:19,695 WE'VE LOST OUR GRAVITY. 374 00:19:23,043 --> 00:19:26,173 USE WHAT ACE TAUGHT US ABOUT ZERO-G MANEUVERS. 375 00:19:26,260 --> 00:19:27,956 YEE-HAW! 376 00:19:28,043 --> 00:19:29,086 WHOO-HOO-HOO! 377 00:19:29,173 --> 00:19:30,173 [ WHISTLES ] 378 00:19:30,260 --> 00:19:33,782 YAH-HAW! WHOO-HOO-HOO-HOO! 379 00:19:33,869 --> 00:19:36,478 YEE-HEE! 380 00:19:36,565 --> 00:19:38,391 I'M GONNA BASH YOU GOOD. 381 00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:40,086 YOU WISH YOU COULD. 382 00:19:40,173 --> 00:19:41,347 YAH! 383 00:19:41,434 --> 00:19:42,695 AAH! 384 00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,434 OHH! 385 00:19:45,869 --> 00:19:48,739 THEY'VE BEEN TRAINED FOR ZERO-G COMBAT. 386 00:19:48,826 --> 00:19:50,608 YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE. 387 00:19:58,217 --> 00:20:00,434 Lady Jaye: WE'VE GOT TO GET THAT FIRE OUT, 388 00:20:00,521 --> 00:20:02,043 OR THE WHOLE PLACE COULD BLOW. 389 00:20:02,130 --> 00:20:04,130 TOUGH DOGS, LADY! 390 00:20:04,217 --> 00:20:06,217 UGH! 391 00:20:16,652 --> 00:20:18,782 EVERYBODY VAMOOSE! 392 00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:21,217 THIS WHOLE PLACE IS GONNA BLOW! 393 00:20:27,347 --> 00:20:30,260 THIS WILL MEAN THE END OF COBRA TELEVISION! 394 00:20:30,347 --> 00:20:34,086 IT WILL ALSO MEAN THE END OF SIX G.I. JOES -- 395 00:20:34,173 --> 00:20:36,260 A FAIR EXCHANGE, I WOULD SAY. 396 00:20:36,347 --> 00:20:40,130 Roadblock: WELL, CAN YOU MAKE THIS SUCKER FLY? 397 00:20:40,217 --> 00:20:43,478 IF I CAN'T, YOU WON'T BE AROUND TO MOAN ABOUT IT. 398 00:20:46,173 --> 00:20:49,913 YEE-HAW! 399 00:21:01,304 --> 00:21:03,217 IS HE ALIVE? 400 00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:06,043 Lady Jaye: WE'LL KNOW WHEN WE GET HIM INSIDE. 401 00:21:10,652 --> 00:21:13,000 Ace: THE SPACE STATION'S KAPUT? 402 00:21:13,086 --> 00:21:14,391 COBRA'S OFF THE AIR? 403 00:21:14,478 --> 00:21:17,652 BETTER OR WORSE, TV'S BACK TO NORMAL, ACE. 404 00:21:17,739 --> 00:21:19,826 DUKE, SOMEONE TO SEE YOU. 405 00:21:19,913 --> 00:21:21,695 STEP ASIDE, WOMAN! 406 00:21:21,782 --> 00:21:23,434 UH, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? 407 00:21:23,521 --> 00:21:26,217 IT'S WHAT I CAN DO FOR YOU. 408 00:21:26,304 --> 00:21:28,260 I'M MEAN. I'M BAD. 409 00:21:28,347 --> 00:21:30,000 AND I'M OUT OF WORK. 410 00:21:30,086 --> 00:21:33,043 YOU GOT ANY OPENINGS IN G.I. JOE? 411 00:21:33,130 --> 00:21:36,043 MAYBE -- IF YOU CAN PASS THE PHYSICAL. 28821

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