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God, I love that pub.
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It's a place where everyone's equal.
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Everyone's your friend, do you know?
4
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Hello, Kit. Ah, bollocks. I followed you
here for some broad time. Now, high in
5
00:00:15,790 --> 00:00:19,070
my gender is me marrying your sister and
finally penetrating your family unit.
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Let's make this happen.
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Hark! It's Ken Thompson.
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Sorry, do I know you? I have a gift for
knowing people.
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I know Graham, for example.
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00:00:28,950 --> 00:00:30,450
Graham, whose actual name is Steve?
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I will speak.
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Ken Thompson.
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you will be the Liberal Democrat
parliamentary candidate for Lishfield.
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Right. That's very specific.
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And you, Graham, will invent an
award-winning sex toy called the Jolly
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Rooster. Yes. Really?
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Very illuminating.
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You crack.
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Yeah, I know.
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Although, fun fact, my name actually is
Graham.
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You what?
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Yeah, I changed it to Steve by depot
some time ago. I mean, Graham is just a
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bit boring.
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00:01:04,229 --> 00:01:06,070
So you mean she's actually... Yeah.
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How did you... Hell's bells, Ken. She's
gone.
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Oh, no, wait. She's over there.
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Oh.
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So you just need to sign here and here,
and your divorce will be through in ten
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days. Congratulations.
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Wonderful. My brother said you were an
expert at this mindless clerical stuff.
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Always nice to receive a compliment.
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There is this other little thing. I got
this darling little letter from the UK
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immigration. It said, Ivy, your visa has
run out, and you need to leave the
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country within 90 days.
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So what's that about?
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What? I think it means your visa has run
out and you have 90 days to leave the
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country. But I can't go back to the
States. They'll pin Ron's crimes on me.
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So what do I do?
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00:02:01,150 --> 00:02:05,630
Well, you could get a job. Or you could
get married once the divorce comes
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00:02:05,630 --> 00:02:10,350
through. There you go. I'll marry a
wealthy Englishman. Someone like Sean
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Connery or Liam Neeson. Right. You do
only have 90 days, though. 90 more days
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than I need. Are you a millionaire?
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Will you marry me?
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No, I'm with Tash.
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Although, if I wasn't... Oh, still no.
46
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She'd make you to be an MP?
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Yeah, it was like a prediction. Like
she'd seen it in her vision.
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Spooky, spooky.
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It did make me think, though. Remember
when I was making waves at the Lib Dems?
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Nina wanted me to be a councillor. Yeah,
till you took an E and puked on her.
51
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Yeah. I should have liked a life in
politics.
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You're going to go on a party?
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00:02:46,860 --> 00:02:49,860
Oh, no, it's just something an old lady
said down the pub. It's nothing serious.
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Politics. Now, that would have made
Daddy happy.
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I'll have to worry what he would have
thought about you had he seen you living
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like this.
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I am horse.
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I'm actually horse.
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00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,780
That was freaking awesome.
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00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:08,879
Where were you?
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00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:10,680
I marched to release this innocent
journalist.
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00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:14,220
You renegade. Y'all have fun out there
shaking your rattles.
63
00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:16,620
Actually, we're fighting for the poor
and the oppressed, Ivy.
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00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:18,720
She's thought of you now, isn't it?
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00:03:20,860 --> 00:03:23,160
Oh, Twitter's saying that Douglas
Markham's resigning.
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Isn't he?
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00:03:24,180 --> 00:03:25,180
Oh, no, Clampy.
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It's going to be a by-election.
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Ken, don't.
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It's a coincidence.
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That's a bit weird, isn't it?
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That's exactly what that old woman said.
Yeah, we probably shouldn't read
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anything to it, though.
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00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:41,720
It's Nina.
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She wants me to come in urgently. She's
something important we want to discuss.
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00:03:47,420 --> 00:03:48,420
Well,
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I'd make the money I wanted to make,
Yusra. And I just really couldn't get on
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with being an estate agent.
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00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:01,260
Everyone's so grasping and that's just
not me.
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00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:03,820
And working in a garden centre is you?
81
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:07,540
I don't see any horticultural experience
here.
82
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:10,240
Oh, I've got experience.
83
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:16,720
Let's just say I used to look after some
pretty exotic plants.
84
00:04:18,180 --> 00:04:20,820
Your previous job was drug dealer?
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00:04:21,140 --> 00:04:23,260
Well, drug dealer and grower, yeah.
86
00:04:23,820 --> 00:04:26,560
Well, isn't that marvelously dangerous?
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00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,160
I like a grower.
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00:04:29,420 --> 00:04:33,680
Well, Dylan, you seem a likely young
man. You could fit in here very nicely.
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00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,720
Thing is, how do I know if you're any
good or not?
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00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:40,580
Do you have a portfolio?
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00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:44,560
Examples of your work?
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00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:49,140
Well, I might have an eighth of a
portfolio.
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00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:59,060
Just bringing it home just means you
haven't got the job. Brilliant, I did
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00:04:59,060 --> 00:05:00,060
want it anyway.
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00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:01,720
Fine.
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00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:05,740
I'm going to flip into something more
interesting.
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00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:07,600
Oh, yeah?
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00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:11,050
Are you going to love me? Am I? Am I
going to love me?
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00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:12,610
Oh, yeah, baby.
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Nearly done.
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OK, I'm coming.
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Come on, I'm ready.
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So, what do you think?
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This is new.
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00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:32,230
Sorry to hear about Douglas Markham,
Nathan.
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Have you got a replacement yet?
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00:05:35,070 --> 00:05:36,070
Well...
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Difficult times call for a fresh face.
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And I think that you in particular will
be very surprised to hear who we've gone
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for. Oh.
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00:05:45,770 --> 00:05:46,770
Do I know them?
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It's the local colossus.
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Here the two barely involved in
politics.
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00:05:51,130 --> 00:05:53,890
And they're not a million miles away
from this table.
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Wow.
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Nina.
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I don't know what to say.
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Yep, so we are delighted to announce
that the candidate who's going to be
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fighting this by-election is Euthra...
Euthra Duncan.
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00:06:10,130 --> 00:06:12,310
Sorry, I have terrible problems with her
name.
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00:06:13,030 --> 00:06:14,190
She's a local businesswoman.
122
00:06:15,330 --> 00:06:17,830
Well, what was all that about not far
from the table?
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00:06:18,230 --> 00:06:20,210
Oh, oh, yeah, her head office is across
the road.
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00:06:21,030 --> 00:06:24,270
Can you look very grumpy? What's wrong?
No, no, it's fine.
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I thought maybe you had me in mind.
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You.
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Oh, my goodness.
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That's so funny.
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Oh, you.
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00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:40,460
No, sorry, it's you, Sir Duncan.
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00:06:40,820 --> 00:06:42,620
Yeah, we had to make a very quick
choice.
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00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,520
She's very popular with our biggest
donor. Do you know Gordon Andrews, the
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poultry magnate? Yeah. He's hosting a
big fundraiser for us on Saturday.
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00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:51,700
That's why I've called you in.
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Come along, bring your family.
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00:06:53,660 --> 00:06:54,519
What, that's it?
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Mm. You said it was urgent.
138
00:06:56,840 --> 00:07:00,740
Oh, well, um, I must have meant not
urgent.
139
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Go away now, please.
140
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,140
Yeah. Yeah.
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00:07:07,420 --> 00:07:08,420
Very easily.
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00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:16,900
Gary, do I see before me the
parliamentary candidate for Litchfield?
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No, you do not. Nina remains a
psychopath, and this has been another
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wild goose chase.
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00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:27,680
Older than an amazing MP, and now she
expects me to go to some worthless
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00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,780
fundraiser round at Gordon Andrews'
house. Well, it's not happening.
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Gordon Andrews? Dad, Andrews' chickens
are weird in windowless warehouses. He
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is a monster.
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Yes, here he is. He's on the list.
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86, widowed, worth 40 million. He is
perfect.
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00:07:43,820 --> 00:07:45,940
A chicken torturer. Who's 86?
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00:07:46,380 --> 00:07:47,760
Oh, shush, both of you.
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Can't a girl fall in love?
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00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:51,840
Well, I wouldn't get your hopes up. Word
has it he's sweet on the chosen
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00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:52,980
candidate, Yusra Duncan.
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00:07:53,380 --> 00:07:54,380
Yusra Duncan.
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00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:56,140
Let's have a look.
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Ha! No contest.
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00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:04,740
Trust me, darling. When that millionaire
hears about my milkshake, he's going to
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00:08:04,740 --> 00:08:05,740
feel 75 again.
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00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:07,660
Your milkshake.
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00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:11,740
I need to pick out my outfit and the
dog's outfit.
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00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,860
And she's put on a lot of weight lately.
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00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:16,020
Well, it's a shame we're not going.
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00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:17,420
All right, ladies and gentlemen.
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00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,920
Just brought up and watching around some
mum.
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00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:24,760
Hey, why are you looking at your user,
Duncan?
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00:08:25,820 --> 00:08:26,820
Why, do you know her?
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00:08:27,420 --> 00:08:28,460
Oh, I've seen her around.
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00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,860
I mean, she's pretty fit for an old
lady, right?
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00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:34,120
I suppose.
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00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:36,559
Well, I shagged her.
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00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:37,820
You did?
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00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,440
Oh, horrible.
175
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:44,020
And let me tell you, she has got some
pretty specific taste.
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00:08:44,460 --> 00:08:46,040
Oh, come on, Dylan.
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00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:47,360
Spill the beans.
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00:08:47,980 --> 00:08:53,760
Okay, so, she likes to do it dressed up
in teddy bear outfits.
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00:08:54,460 --> 00:08:58,640
Oh, my teddy bear. And you did it.
180
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:02,560
Obviously, I did it, but to be honest,
it was actually pretty comfy. Oh, my
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00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:03,560
God.
182
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:10,260
Did you see? The path presents itself.
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00:09:10,740 --> 00:09:13,660
Your rival is a fervent.
184
00:09:14,270 --> 00:09:16,870
That can't be normal. Not even in ye old
England.
185
00:09:17,130 --> 00:09:19,630
She's not my rival, Ivy. I'm not even in
the running.
186
00:09:19,890 --> 00:09:21,950
Ken, you're forgetting your trump card.
187
00:09:22,290 --> 00:09:23,290
Your first stop.
188
00:09:23,410 --> 00:09:28,210
Now, we go to this party. I get the
millionaire to fall in love with me. You
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00:09:28,210 --> 00:09:32,290
use the information to knock your sly
out of the way. Bada-bing, bada-boom.
190
00:09:34,550 --> 00:09:35,550
No.
191
00:09:37,530 --> 00:09:39,490
Oh, shit, it might just work.
192
00:09:40,090 --> 00:09:41,350
I can still be an MP.
193
00:09:42,810 --> 00:09:47,970
No, no, no, it's immoral. And anyway,
how would we prove it? Well, I mean, she
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00:09:47,970 --> 00:09:49,910
did get me to film it, if that helps.
195
00:09:53,890 --> 00:09:54,890
Don't tell Lorna.
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00:09:54,950 --> 00:09:55,950
£500.
197
00:10:22,030 --> 00:10:24,830
Yeah, they're going to be like, why
can't I get in? Oh, my God, I can't get
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00:10:24,830 --> 00:10:25,830
into the party.
199
00:10:26,230 --> 00:10:27,230
Give me your phone.
200
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:28,830
Okay. No distractions.
201
00:10:33,530 --> 00:10:36,110
You paid in the keys, right?
202
00:10:36,330 --> 00:10:37,750
Yep. Swallowed them.
203
00:10:38,830 --> 00:10:41,290
What? Natasha, you swallowed them? Yes,
bruv.
204
00:10:41,710 --> 00:10:43,090
They're going to have to cut us out!
205
00:10:55,470 --> 00:10:56,470
I don't know.
206
00:10:59,230 --> 00:11:00,370
Excuse me. Hello.
207
00:11:01,030 --> 00:11:02,770
Is this the main entrance?
208
00:11:03,450 --> 00:11:06,230
No, ladies, if you want the main
entrance, you have to go to the other
209
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:08,090
side. OK, thank you.
210
00:11:14,470 --> 00:11:17,130
We must say thank you to you, Gordon.
211
00:11:17,390 --> 00:11:21,030
It's a beautiful event. Thank you for
your support.
212
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:25,560
Screw your courage to stick in place,
Kenneth. Give me a half an hour to
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00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:28,700
enrapture the millionaire and then show
the video to Nina.
214
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:30,920
Ivy, do you think this is a good idea?
215
00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:32,240
Why wouldn't it be?
216
00:11:32,380 --> 00:11:35,560
I'm about to blackmail someone with a
porn video starring my own son.
217
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,700
It seems a bit sordid.
218
00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:41,260
What's all this whispering about?
Lovely. It's getting into the vibe of
219
00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:41,959
the party.
220
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:45,260
Look at the balloons and all the social
democracy.
221
00:11:45,620 --> 00:11:50,360
Nice. Oh, Ken, lovely. You're here. Come
and meet our host. Here.
222
00:11:50,860 --> 00:11:51,860
Take the dog.
223
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:59,320
Oh, here you are in this random corner
of the room.
224
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,020
Oh, who's your hot friend?
225
00:12:02,780 --> 00:12:06,340
I be my sister. This is Nina.
226
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:08,120
Yeah, yeah, doesn't matter.
227
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:11,420
Are you Gordon Andrews? Who?
228
00:12:11,860 --> 00:12:13,500
I shall say.
229
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,020
Oh, dear.
230
00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:18,020
I shall.
231
00:12:25,270 --> 00:12:27,030
Are you married?
232
00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:31,130
So, you're a single guy.
233
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:35,210
That is so rare in someone so handsome.
234
00:12:36,950 --> 00:12:39,370
Like you don't know.
235
00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:43,210
Stop staring at me like that.
236
00:12:43,710 --> 00:12:46,170
It's like you're seducing me on the
spot.
237
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,320
Get the hell out of here. I got it,
bitch.
238
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,680
Look at us laughing together.
239
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:02,480
Gesundheit.
240
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,320
Ben said he'd pick us up about five,
didn't he?
241
00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:25,760
Four hours.
242
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:33,760
Tell you how we could use the time
constructively.
243
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,260
Yes, I do.
244
00:13:39,060 --> 00:13:40,060
I've got a lighter.
245
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,420
Come on. Come on.
246
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:54,470
The old goat's hooked. My divorce comes
through next week. I'll be remarried in
247
00:13:54,470 --> 00:13:59,770
a month and widowed pretty soon
afterward. Now it's your turn. Nina,
248
00:13:59,890 --> 00:14:01,870
right over there. I don't know.
249
00:14:02,190 --> 00:14:03,710
We don't have tactics.
250
00:14:03,950 --> 00:14:04,950
It's just not me.
251
00:14:04,990 --> 00:14:09,930
This is your chance to be something. And
all you have to do is ruin someone
252
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:10,930
else's life.
253
00:14:10,970 --> 00:14:13,250
And if you don't do it, I will.
254
00:14:17,430 --> 00:14:19,250
Nina. Yeah? Can I have a word?
255
00:14:19,710 --> 00:14:20,770
Um, okay.
256
00:14:21,470 --> 00:14:22,470
Bye.
257
00:14:22,710 --> 00:14:25,950
Bye. Oh, this is all highly secretive,
Ken.
258
00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:30,250
It's almost like you're trying to seduce
me. That's not what this is. At all.
259
00:14:30,510 --> 00:14:31,670
Okay, all right, well, what is it?
260
00:14:34,230 --> 00:14:36,130
Nina. Yeah, Ken split it out.
261
00:14:38,230 --> 00:14:39,230
It's you, Sarah Duncan.
262
00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:44,290
I've got winds of a video of her having
sex with a man in his twenties.
263
00:14:44,670 --> 00:14:45,670
Hmm.
264
00:14:50,380 --> 00:14:51,380
Oh my God, okay.
265
00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:56,060
Wow, you threw Duncan a physical
metaphor.
266
00:14:56,580 --> 00:14:58,300
Oh, it's got a name. Yeah, it's got a
name.
267
00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:02,020
Okay. And the voters really don't like
them.
268
00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:08,520
Well, I may have acquired the video, and
let's just say
269
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:12,640
I would hate for it to get into the
wrong hands.
270
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:14,380
Absolutely, absolutely.
271
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:17,300
Yes, this campaign would be dead on
arrival. It would be a disaster.
272
00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:18,539
Oh, I know.
273
00:15:18,540 --> 00:15:24,300
I had to close them, so... Okay, right,
well, thank the Lord this is not going
274
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:25,300
to go any further.
275
00:15:26,740 --> 00:15:28,020
Right, I just start the auction.
276
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,260
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
277
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:33,580
How do you know it's not going to get
into the wrong hands? Well, I mean, you
278
00:15:33,580 --> 00:15:35,420
said yourself you're the only person
with a video.
279
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:40,960
Yes, I know what I said, but... What if
it were to happen by accident?
280
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:43,640
Well, that's highly unlikely.
281
00:15:44,580 --> 00:15:45,580
Okay.
282
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:48,120
Well, what if I did it... Deliberately.
283
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:53,300
You,
284
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:54,500
blackmailer.
285
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,120
That's wonderful.
286
00:15:57,460 --> 00:15:58,720
Good, kind, beautiful.
287
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,780
Ken, would you do something so
dastardly? No, that's never going to
288
00:16:02,780 --> 00:16:03,780
happen.
289
00:16:25,290 --> 00:16:26,990
I do not need any more of those.
290
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:37,450
You know, when Ben told me that he was
still mates with his ex, I
291
00:16:37,450 --> 00:16:39,610
was not happy.
292
00:16:40,450 --> 00:16:43,150
Like, one in five.
293
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:44,370
Yeah, totally.
294
00:16:44,490 --> 00:16:45,590
Just like, bitch alert.
295
00:16:47,330 --> 00:16:53,250
And I was like, please, don't let her be
pretty. And then I saw you and...
296
00:16:54,729 --> 00:16:55,890
Obviously you're gorgeous.
297
00:16:57,630 --> 00:16:58,850
Yeah, I really am.
298
00:17:00,450 --> 00:17:01,870
Yeah, you keep telling people.
299
00:17:02,090 --> 00:17:03,570
I like that character trait.
300
00:17:04,710 --> 00:17:09,310
And then we got to talking and I was
like, wow, this is incredible. We're the
301
00:17:09,310 --> 00:17:11,050
same. We are the same.
302
00:17:11,790 --> 00:17:15,390
The same. There is no difference. There
is no difference.
303
00:17:19,990 --> 00:17:22,609
So what did you think of me when we
first met?
304
00:17:23,079 --> 00:17:24,079
What did I think?
305
00:17:26,099 --> 00:17:28,020
I thought you were hating on me.
306
00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:29,700
What?
307
00:17:31,380 --> 00:17:33,580
Oh, because we met in that coffee shop.
308
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:38,720
Yeah, but then I saw you with Ben and I
realised you were just being really
309
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:39,720
nice.
310
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,280
Yeah, because that's what you're like.
311
00:17:44,660 --> 00:17:46,500
You're just really, really...
312
00:18:30,830 --> 00:18:32,210
and chatted about Yusra Duncan.
313
00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:34,630
She is just lovely.
314
00:18:35,610 --> 00:18:37,510
Yeah, typical politician, isn't it?
315
00:18:37,710 --> 00:18:40,230
All smiled, aren't they? Now they've got
their own grandma.
316
00:18:40,570 --> 00:18:41,730
Oh, no, her grandma's dead.
317
00:18:42,010 --> 00:18:43,570
Well, there you go. And not just her
grandma.
318
00:18:43,810 --> 00:18:45,770
Her husband died a few years ago, too.
319
00:18:46,270 --> 00:18:49,610
He said he was really funny. He was one
of those football mascots.
320
00:18:51,270 --> 00:18:55,290
She said she tries to remember him in
every way she can.
321
00:18:55,810 --> 00:18:56,810
Right.
322
00:18:57,310 --> 00:19:00,800
Well... Thank God no-one's going to see
a video of her dealing with that pain.
323
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,860
What? Ken, are you OK?
324
00:19:03,260 --> 00:19:04,560
Yeah, now I'm fine.
325
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:08,000
Do you know what, Lorna? I think I might
try and be an MP one day.
326
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,400
I think I'd be good at it.
327
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,440
But I want to do it the right way.
328
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:12,840
Bully for you, Ken.
329
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:15,960
What would be the wrong way?
330
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,960
Testing, testing, one, two, three. Go
on.
331
00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:22,189
Welcome, everybody.
332
00:19:22,190 --> 00:19:25,750
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. It's
nearly time for the auction.
333
00:19:25,950 --> 00:19:31,370
And I would love to thank Gordon for his
amazingly generous donation of these
334
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:32,370
antiques.
335
00:19:34,790 --> 00:19:39,030
But I know that you're all very, very
much looking forward to meeting our new
336
00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:42,170
candidate. And here she is, Yusra
Duncan!
337
00:19:42,570 --> 00:19:43,570
Come up, Yusra.
338
00:19:51,050 --> 00:19:53,470
Common sense prevailed in the end. You
chickened out.
339
00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:57,290
I knew you would. Don't worry. Your big
sister looked after it.
340
00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:58,910
What do you mean, looked after it?
341
00:19:59,210 --> 00:20:01,470
I swapped the files on the computer back
there.
342
00:20:02,030 --> 00:20:03,990
You didn't. Of course I did.
343
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:07,930
I'm not going to let you be a loser all
your life. They're about to play the
344
00:20:07,930 --> 00:20:11,410
video that'll introduce everybody to
their new candidate.
345
00:20:12,350 --> 00:20:13,630
And here it is.
346
00:20:13,890 --> 00:20:18,250
A video to introduce everybody to our
new candidate.
347
00:20:18,490 --> 00:20:20,250
And you're all going to see...
348
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,040
A new side to Yusra.
349
00:20:22,460 --> 00:20:25,360
Oh, God, no. No, I've got to stop it.
I've got to stop it.
350
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:30,720
Kiana. So, after Yusra has said a few
words, we'll watch a little video and
351
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,000
then we'll get on with the auction.
352
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,460
Okay, so speak, Yusra.
353
00:20:35,780 --> 00:20:41,080
I just want to say it's been great
meeting you all. And with that, I'll
354
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:42,080
hand back to Nina.
355
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:43,560
Okay.
356
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:48,180
Well, I think all that needs to be done
then is for me to work out which...
357
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:51,420
Okay, stop.
358
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,740
Stop. Sorry.
359
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,360
I'm sorry.
360
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:58,300
I want to make a speech.
361
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:00,340
Hello, Lib Dem!
362
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,380
I said hello, Lib Dem!
363
00:21:05,380 --> 00:21:06,480
How's everyone doing?
364
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:09,500
Woo! Lib Dems!
365
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:12,640
Hello.
366
00:21:13,380 --> 00:21:15,120
I am Ken Thompson.
367
00:21:16,180 --> 00:21:17,400
Do not adjust your foot.
368
00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:19,260
I am this big.
369
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:20,820
And I am the council.
370
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,180
Now, listen.
371
00:21:24,460 --> 00:21:28,140
Uterus is a fine candidate. I know when
it comes to raising money for the Lib
372
00:21:28,140 --> 00:21:31,700
Dems, there is no magic money tree.
There isn't.
373
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,540
But there is such a thing as a money
plant.
374
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:39,480
And I bought six of them at Uterus
Garden Centre earlier.
375
00:21:40,260 --> 00:21:41,660
That's what she makes happen.
376
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:43,840
That's hilarious.
377
00:21:44,180 --> 00:21:45,880
Thank you, sir. Where are you from?
378
00:21:46,860 --> 00:21:48,080
Redditch. Redditch.
379
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:50,520
Whoa. You want to get some cream for
that?
380
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:56,100
Well, at least I'm not from H-field,
mate. H-field's good as well.
381
00:21:56,300 --> 00:21:57,640
That's good. Say some more.
382
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,520
Er, anyone in from Rashburn?
383
00:22:00,900 --> 00:22:03,020
Rashburn! Love it. Not good, but still
funny.
384
00:22:03,260 --> 00:22:04,260
Try and make it some more.
385
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:05,880
Don't press the button.
386
00:22:06,420 --> 00:22:08,320
You're about to show the video, the
furry video.
387
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:10,580
The furry video? Yes, the furry video.
388
00:22:10,940 --> 00:22:13,980
How do they hold in the furry video? I
don't know. I don't know. Shut the door.
389
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,080
Shut the door.
390
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:16,280
What's going on?
391
00:22:16,380 --> 00:22:18,220
Oh, I'm sorry, but you...
392
00:22:18,620 --> 00:22:20,820
Your enemies have got hold of some
incriminating material.
393
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:22,160
Oh, God, no.
394
00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:24,740
Is it the midget gardener? What?
395
00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:26,820
No. The bear suit?
396
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,360
Yeah. Oh, what have I done?
397
00:22:30,420 --> 00:22:31,800
Then you'd better give him the mic.
398
00:22:32,020 --> 00:22:33,020
OK.
399
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,180
All right, hey, pack it in.
400
00:22:36,420 --> 00:22:37,860
Yusra needs to speak. Yusra, please.
401
00:22:38,700 --> 00:22:39,700
Come on, then.
402
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:41,320
Hello again, everyone.
403
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:45,100
I've got something I have to tell you.
404
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:51,980
You know, when you go through a hard
time in life, you cling on to any kind
405
00:22:51,980 --> 00:22:52,980
of comfort.
406
00:22:53,180 --> 00:22:58,380
Soft, warm, furry comfort.
407
00:22:59,020 --> 00:23:04,600
And when I feel lonely, I can't do this.
408
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:06,800
Friends, I can't be your candidate.
409
00:23:07,980 --> 00:23:09,660
I'm going two steps away.
410
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:15,100
Of course, who you pick to succeed me is
up to you.
411
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:17,599
I'm sorry.
412
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:20,460
What about Ken Thompson?
413
00:23:21,180 --> 00:23:22,180
Yeah, it's a great idea.
414
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:23,400
I like funny men.
415
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,280
Ken! Ken!
416
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:26,800
Ken!
417
00:23:28,220 --> 00:23:32,200
Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken!
Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken!
418
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:33,059
Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken!
419
00:23:33,060 --> 00:23:34,059
Ken! Ken!
420
00:23:34,060 --> 00:23:34,599
Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken!
421
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:35,600
Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken!
422
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:36,199
Ken! Ken! Ken!
423
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:37,200
Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken!
Ken! Ken!
424
00:23:37,900 --> 00:23:38,879
Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken!
425
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:39,880
Ken! Ken!
426
00:23:39,980 --> 00:23:39,980
Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken!
Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken!
427
00:23:39,980 --> 00:23:39,980
Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken!
Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken!
428
00:23:39,980 --> 00:23:40,980
Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken!
429
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:43,080
Ken!
430
00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:46,300
Ken!
431
00:23:47,900 --> 00:23:49,220
Will you marry me?
432
00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:53,680
I thought you would never ask. My
divorce comes through in a week. Can you
433
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,280
live that long? I mean, wait that long?
434
00:23:59,100 --> 00:24:02,140
I don't know what to say.
435
00:24:02,460 --> 00:24:09,220
I suppose what I can promise is, as your
new candidate, there will be a gentler
436
00:24:09,220 --> 00:24:10,220
politics.
437
00:24:10,620 --> 00:24:13,200
And yours relieved with a reputation
intact.
438
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:15,040
No one needs to ask.
439
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:16,279
What happened?
440
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:17,740
Who said what? Who blackmailed who?
441
00:24:17,940 --> 00:24:19,820
Let's just move forward, ladies and
gentlemen.
442
00:24:20,220 --> 00:24:21,400
Let's move forward together.
443
00:24:22,540 --> 00:24:23,620
Together with dignity.
444
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,280
Wow, a round of applause for Ken.
445
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,720
Oh, no. Oh, the remote.
446
00:24:31,300 --> 00:24:32,340
Why is it playing?
447
00:24:32,660 --> 00:24:33,660
It's the remote.
448
00:24:33,740 --> 00:24:34,740
I don't know.
449
00:24:36,620 --> 00:24:39,960
It's so important to make someone happy.
450
00:24:40,780 --> 00:24:44,180
Make just one someone happy.
451
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:04,620
You can't have a heart attack. Oh, my
God.
452
00:25:05,740 --> 00:25:09,540
Please. Just one more week.
453
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:12,040
Fucking duck.
454
00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:17,200
Comes and goes in a minute.
455
00:25:17,780 --> 00:25:21,080
Where's the real stuff in life?
456
00:25:21,540 --> 00:25:25,480
To cling to love
457
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:30,120
is the answer.
458
00:25:30,380 --> 00:25:34,340
From love to love is the answer.
32376
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