All language subtitles for Colin.from.Accounts.S03E02.1080p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-JxM_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,794 --> 00:00:16,074 [Man on radio] You're with Ditzy and Riptug 2 00:00:16,154 --> 00:00:18,434 on this Tuesday morning, smashing out the hits. 3 00:00:18,514 --> 00:00:21,354 Hey, who remembers this banger from 1986? 4 00:00:21,434 --> 00:00:23,594 # Dave Dobbyn with Herbs' "Slice of Heaven" # 5 00:00:23,674 --> 00:00:24,674 [Song stops abruptly] 6 00:00:24,754 --> 00:00:27,434 Um, you... you know, 7 00:00:27,514 --> 00:00:30,154 you don't have to stay for this. 8 00:00:30,234 --> 00:00:31,274 - What? No. No. - Yeah. 9 00:00:31,354 --> 00:00:33,514 I want to meet the other love of your life. 10 00:00:33,594 --> 00:00:35,514 Oh, no, you don't. Don't say that. 11 00:00:35,594 --> 00:00:37,874 - No. I mean... I mean Colin. - Oh! 12 00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:38,954 Yes. 13 00:00:39,034 --> 00:00:40,554 This is important to you, 14 00:00:40,634 --> 00:00:42,434 you know, so it's important to me. 15 00:00:43,234 --> 00:00:44,154 - [David] Just here? - Yeah. 16 00:00:44,234 --> 00:00:45,954 - Are we gonna fit? - Uh, yeah. 17 00:00:46,034 --> 00:00:48,554 There's so much room. 18 00:00:48,634 --> 00:00:49,954 We made it! 19 00:00:50,034 --> 00:00:52,074 Hey, thank you for being, like, 20 00:00:52,154 --> 00:00:54,354 the most patient, the most beautiful, 21 00:00:54,434 --> 00:00:56,954 the most sexiest driving teacher ever. 22 00:00:57,034 --> 00:00:59,074 - [Ashley giggles] - I love you. 23 00:00:59,154 --> 00:01:01,954 Yeah, you too. Shall we go? 24 00:01:02,034 --> 00:01:03,194 Yeah, you go, I've just gotta do 25 00:01:03,274 --> 00:01:05,154 a couple of things for my allergies, pre-Colin. 26 00:01:05,234 --> 00:01:06,794 - Oh. - Yeah. 27 00:01:06,874 --> 00:01:08,274 Okay. 28 00:01:08,354 --> 00:01:10,954 - I'll see ya! - Okay. 29 00:01:11,034 --> 00:01:12,074 Love you... 30 00:01:12,154 --> 00:01:14,154 [Dog barks in distance] 31 00:01:15,834 --> 00:01:16,794 [Dog barks] 32 00:01:16,874 --> 00:01:19,874 [Romantic music] 33 00:01:21,034 --> 00:01:21,954 Hi. 34 00:01:22,034 --> 00:01:23,234 [Giggles] 35 00:01:24,314 --> 00:01:25,874 Hi! 36 00:01:26,874 --> 00:01:28,834 Hey, there she is. There she is. 37 00:01:30,594 --> 00:01:32,034 Hi. 38 00:01:33,034 --> 00:01:34,034 [Colin whines] Yeah. 39 00:01:35,034 --> 00:01:36,914 [Wheels squeak] 40 00:01:36,994 --> 00:01:39,754 Good boy! Good boy! 41 00:01:39,834 --> 00:01:42,234 I missed you so much! I did! 42 00:01:42,314 --> 00:01:44,114 Oh, I did. I missed you! 43 00:01:44,194 --> 00:01:46,274 - Hey! - Missed you! 44 00:01:46,354 --> 00:01:48,954 - Ooh. Hey! - I think he remembers you. 45 00:01:49,034 --> 00:01:50,954 Oh, I hope so. 46 00:01:51,034 --> 00:01:52,074 God. 47 00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:54,194 - Oh. Uh-oh. Don't turn around. - What is it? 48 00:01:54,274 --> 00:01:56,794 Nothing. Just don't turn around. It's a weird guy, weird guy. 49 00:01:56,874 --> 00:01:57,954 Shall we laugh? 50 00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:00,034 [Both laugh falsely] 51 00:02:00,114 --> 00:02:01,954 Anyway, should probably go now. 52 00:02:02,034 --> 00:02:03,234 - Ha-ha! - Ahoy there! 53 00:02:03,314 --> 00:02:04,994 Ahoy, me hearty! He's coming. 54 00:02:05,074 --> 00:02:06,514 - Arr! - David? Oh. 55 00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:07,954 - What are you wearing? Sorry. - Hi. 56 00:02:08,034 --> 00:02:09,954 Gordon, this is David, allergic to dogs. 57 00:02:10,034 --> 00:02:10,954 - Gordon. - Hey! 58 00:02:11,034 --> 00:02:12,514 G'day. Good to meet you, finally. 59 00:02:12,594 --> 00:02:15,154 - David. Hello. - Hey. How you doing? 60 00:02:15,234 --> 00:02:16,754 - Good. - Sorry about the get-up. 61 00:02:16,834 --> 00:02:17,874 I'm just, um... 62 00:02:17,954 --> 00:02:19,194 I'm trying to limit the contact 63 00:02:19,274 --> 00:02:21,034 with, uh, the dander in the fur. 64 00:02:21,114 --> 00:02:22,874 - That's really toxic. - The... 65 00:02:22,954 --> 00:02:23,954 - The dander. - The dander? 66 00:02:24,034 --> 00:02:24,954 - [David] Yeah. - Oh. 67 00:02:25,034 --> 00:02:26,274 - And the saliva. - Oh, right. 68 00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:28,634 Both really, um, get to me, so... 69 00:02:28,714 --> 00:02:29,954 Did you need all that? 70 00:02:30,034 --> 00:02:31,034 Yeah, I'm just trying to be... 71 00:02:31,114 --> 00:02:32,234 - This is him, is it? - Yes. 72 00:02:32,314 --> 00:02:34,474 - This is the famous Colin. - Hello, Colin! 73 00:02:34,554 --> 00:02:35,954 - [Laughs] - He's not that scary. 74 00:02:36,034 --> 00:02:37,194 No! 75 00:02:37,274 --> 00:02:38,794 - Hi! - [Ashley] Okay. 76 00:02:38,874 --> 00:02:40,034 Oh, you don't have to touch him. 77 00:02:40,114 --> 00:02:41,354 - Don't worry about it. - [Splutters] 78 00:02:41,434 --> 00:02:42,954 Don't push yourself, you know? 79 00:02:43,034 --> 00:02:44,034 Okay. Oh, no! 80 00:02:45,074 --> 00:02:46,034 - What's wrong? - You right? 81 00:02:46,114 --> 00:02:47,274 - It's happening. - [Gordon] Oh, Jesus. 82 00:02:47,354 --> 00:02:49,114 [David] I knew it. Oh, God! 83 00:02:49,194 --> 00:02:50,234 [David exhales] 84 00:02:50,314 --> 00:02:51,954 Darl, are you all right? 85 00:02:52,034 --> 00:02:53,034 Uh... 86 00:02:53,114 --> 00:02:54,514 [Water squirts] 87 00:02:54,594 --> 00:02:55,954 [David groans] 88 00:02:56,034 --> 00:02:57,034 [Gargles] 89 00:02:58,034 --> 00:02:59,954 It's okay. I'm just gonna be over here. 90 00:03:00,034 --> 00:03:01,914 - Yeah. - No worries. 91 00:03:01,994 --> 00:03:03,674 He must have a lot of dander. 92 00:03:03,754 --> 00:03:05,554 [Gordon] Yeah, the dander. 93 00:03:07,114 --> 00:03:09,114 Don't. He's rea... He's really allergic. 94 00:03:09,194 --> 00:03:10,834 I didn't say anything. He's nice. 95 00:03:10,914 --> 00:03:12,194 He is really sweet, yeah. 96 00:03:12,274 --> 00:03:14,954 - You been together long or...? - Yeah, two and a half years. 97 00:03:15,034 --> 00:03:16,634 Okay. Oh, wow. Serious. 98 00:03:16,714 --> 00:03:18,954 Yeah, it's pretty ser... pretty serious. 99 00:03:19,034 --> 00:03:19,954 - All right. - How about you? 100 00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,274 Do you have a... 101 00:03:21,354 --> 00:03:22,954 [Comical voice] ..girlfriend, boyfriend? 102 00:03:23,034 --> 00:03:24,954 Uh, me? Yeah. Yeah, I've got a girlfriend. 103 00:03:25,034 --> 00:03:25,954 [Regular voice] Oh, really? 104 00:03:26,034 --> 00:03:27,954 - Ha-ha. Wow. - Yeah. 105 00:03:28,034 --> 00:03:29,834 Uh, Chelsea, she's a lawyer. 106 00:03:29,914 --> 00:03:30,954 Uh, been together about a year. 107 00:03:31,034 --> 00:03:31,994 This is good! 108 00:03:32,074 --> 00:03:34,074 Yeah, you've got a girlfriend. I've got a... 109 00:03:34,154 --> 00:03:35,074 Beekeeper. 110 00:03:35,154 --> 00:03:36,234 - Don't. - Sorry. 111 00:03:36,314 --> 00:03:37,954 I'm just saying, this is good. 112 00:03:38,034 --> 00:03:39,674 I'm relieved, actually. 113 00:03:39,754 --> 00:03:40,674 - Oh. - You've got... 114 00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,474 Yeah, we can be friends. We can be mates. 115 00:03:42,554 --> 00:03:44,114 - So now that we are mates... - Yes. 116 00:03:44,194 --> 00:03:46,794 ..um, why don't you guys come to my birthday party? 117 00:03:46,874 --> 00:03:48,994 - Oh, is it your birthday? - Yeah, in a few days. Yeah. 118 00:03:49,074 --> 00:03:50,954 And, uh, I know we never got to my birthday 119 00:03:51,034 --> 00:03:53,194 when you and I were together, but I seem to remember 120 00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:54,914 celebrating your birthday almost constantly. 121 00:03:54,994 --> 00:03:55,954 Shut up. 122 00:03:56,034 --> 00:03:58,194 Why don't you come? If he makes it. 123 00:03:58,274 --> 00:04:00,114 [Gargles, splutters] 124 00:04:00,194 --> 00:04:01,954 Chelsea's organizing it. It's gonna be at the brewery. 125 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:04,274 Yeah. You'll get to see everyone again. It'll be fun. 126 00:04:04,354 --> 00:04:07,434 Everyone? Oh, God. Okay. [Laughs awkwardly] 127 00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:08,794 Should I go? 128 00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,954 Should I go, Collywobbles? 129 00:04:11,034 --> 00:04:13,194 Um, yeah, I'll think about it. 130 00:04:13,274 --> 00:04:14,714 Hey, unrelated... 131 00:04:16,434 --> 00:04:18,954 Was that you I saw at the brewery the other day? 132 00:04:19,034 --> 00:04:19,954 When? 133 00:04:20,034 --> 00:04:21,474 It was the same day we met, actually. 134 00:04:21,554 --> 00:04:22,954 Later that day. Was that you? 135 00:04:23,034 --> 00:04:25,394 - A few days ago? - Ooh. No. No, no, no. 136 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,154 - Outside the brewery? - No. 137 00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:28,754 - In a car? - Car? 138 00:04:28,834 --> 00:04:29,954 With wine? 139 00:04:30,034 --> 00:04:33,354 I'm off the grog right now, so it wasn't me. 140 00:04:33,434 --> 00:04:35,594 - Oh. I must have got that wrong. - [David] Hey, Ash. 141 00:04:35,674 --> 00:04:37,954 I think my throat's closing over. 142 00:04:38,034 --> 00:04:40,274 [Gags and retches] 143 00:04:41,554 --> 00:04:43,234 You've got to go. His throat's closing over. 144 00:04:43,314 --> 00:04:45,234 Yeah, I've got to drive him. He's on his L's. 145 00:04:45,314 --> 00:04:47,074 - He's on his L's? - Shut up. 146 00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:49,314 [Theme music] 147 00:05:10,354 --> 00:05:11,794 [Gordon] Hey, Bretty boy. 148 00:05:12,994 --> 00:05:13,954 I want to tell you something. 149 00:05:14,034 --> 00:05:15,954 I just want to get ahead of something, okay? 150 00:05:16,034 --> 00:05:18,034 Um, I'm going to tell you in confidence, 151 00:05:18,114 --> 00:05:20,674 and I don't... you're not allowed to hit me. 152 00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:21,714 Okay? 153 00:05:21,794 --> 00:05:23,794 - You invited Ash, didn't you? - Yes, I did. 154 00:05:23,874 --> 00:05:25,594 No, no, no, no! She's bringing her boyfriend! 155 00:05:25,674 --> 00:05:27,234 - I'm gonna hit you. - She's bringing her boyfriend! 156 00:05:27,314 --> 00:05:29,514 Got a boyfriend, yeah, okay? So it's fine. 157 00:05:29,594 --> 00:05:32,714 We can be mates. So it's above board, mate. It's all fine. 158 00:05:32,794 --> 00:05:33,954 - Real talk, Gordo? - Yeah. 159 00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,954 - When she left you... - It was mutual, man. 160 00:05:36,034 --> 00:05:37,154 She left you, all right? 161 00:05:37,234 --> 00:05:38,954 And I've never seen you like that before. 162 00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:40,194 And I never want to again. 163 00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:41,314 You won't, man. 164 00:05:41,394 --> 00:05:42,954 As long as I've known you, Gordon, 165 00:05:43,034 --> 00:05:44,954 you've always been great with the ladies, yeah? 166 00:05:45,034 --> 00:05:47,514 You're like the Ronda Rousey of relationships. 167 00:05:47,594 --> 00:05:48,954 - Is that a UFC reference? - Yeah. 168 00:05:49,034 --> 00:05:50,954 Again, I don't get those references, man. 169 00:05:51,034 --> 00:05:53,474 - Ronda Rousey was undefeated. - Okay. 170 00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,714 - Her armbar's legendary. - I get it, I get it. 171 00:05:55,794 --> 00:05:58,394 Until she met Holly Holm, "The Preacher's Daughter." 172 00:05:58,474 --> 00:06:01,274 Point is, yep, I'm Ronda Rousey, um, Ash is Holly Holm. 173 00:06:01,354 --> 00:06:02,514 Yes, she destroyed my confidence. 174 00:06:02,594 --> 00:06:04,274 - She took my heavyweight title. - Bantamweight. 175 00:06:04,354 --> 00:06:05,874 Bantamweight. Fuckin', I get it. 176 00:06:05,954 --> 00:06:07,994 It's fine, though. We're mates. She's coming. It's all good. 177 00:06:08,074 --> 00:06:10,194 We're mates. Everyone fuckin' relax. 178 00:06:12,114 --> 00:06:13,434 And, Bretty? 179 00:06:13,514 --> 00:06:16,394 Mate, if you hit me again, I'm gonna hit you back. 180 00:06:16,474 --> 00:06:18,794 - Okay. - Oh, okay. Fuckin'... 181 00:06:19,794 --> 00:06:20,954 But it's there. Yeah. 182 00:06:21,034 --> 00:06:22,714 - We're good? - We're good. 183 00:06:22,794 --> 00:06:23,794 I love you. 184 00:06:23,874 --> 00:06:24,914 Love you too. Okay? 185 00:06:24,994 --> 00:06:26,594 But just... just don't poke the bear. 186 00:06:26,674 --> 00:06:28,034 - All right? - Cool. 187 00:06:28,114 --> 00:06:30,674 [Lighthearted music] 188 00:06:31,754 --> 00:06:33,034 Hi. I'm Ashley. 189 00:06:33,114 --> 00:06:34,954 [Giggles] Thank you, I am fun. 190 00:06:35,034 --> 00:06:36,634 But I'm also a medical doctor. 191 00:06:36,714 --> 00:06:39,234 How do I know Gordon? We went out. 192 00:06:39,314 --> 00:06:40,954 It was short, but very meaningful. 193 00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:44,114 He's still in love with me. He's fuckin' obsessed with me. 194 00:06:44,194 --> 00:06:45,834 Can I look at your rash? 195 00:06:45,914 --> 00:06:47,674 Not right now. I'm at a party. 196 00:06:48,874 --> 00:06:50,274 Meggles! 197 00:06:52,114 --> 00:06:53,874 I'm overthinking it, aren't I? 198 00:06:53,954 --> 00:06:55,154 Is this a good party outfit? 199 00:06:55,234 --> 00:06:56,674 Is it a kids' party? 200 00:06:56,754 --> 00:06:57,674 Fuck! 201 00:06:57,754 --> 00:06:58,914 Okay, it's really important 202 00:06:58,994 --> 00:07:00,394 Gordon sees how hot you are. 203 00:07:00,474 --> 00:07:03,274 Firm agree. I had a dream about him last night. 204 00:07:03,354 --> 00:07:04,874 And... and we were on a beach, 205 00:07:04,954 --> 00:07:06,474 and I did a cartwheel in a bikini, 206 00:07:06,554 --> 00:07:09,154 and I looked so fuckin' good. 207 00:07:09,234 --> 00:07:12,074 Was it, like, your body or a dream body? 208 00:07:12,154 --> 00:07:13,474 Yes, it was my body. 209 00:07:13,554 --> 00:07:14,954 Oh, well, you know, sometimes it's... 210 00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:16,554 Yeah, okay. My tits were bigger. 211 00:07:16,634 --> 00:07:18,314 - Fuck off. - What's this, though? 212 00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:20,594 You look like you just got out of a cult. 213 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,034 Fuckin' hell, man. 214 00:07:22,114 --> 00:07:23,234 Get it off. 215 00:07:23,314 --> 00:07:25,554 I need you to come with me. I need a wingman. 216 00:07:25,634 --> 00:07:26,954 No. You've got David. 217 00:07:27,034 --> 00:07:29,354 No, because he's coming after his fish market trial. 218 00:07:29,434 --> 00:07:31,554 He'll be late. Can't Rumi put Genre down? 219 00:07:31,634 --> 00:07:34,474 [Whispers] I don't trust her to put him down. 220 00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:35,954 I'm sorry? 221 00:07:36,034 --> 00:07:37,194 How did you hear that? 222 00:07:37,274 --> 00:07:38,954 No, it's not that I don't trust you. 223 00:07:39,034 --> 00:07:40,474 I can put him down, babe. 224 00:07:40,554 --> 00:07:43,994 Yeah, I know you can. It's just he's used to me doing it. 225 00:07:44,074 --> 00:07:45,794 Yeah, because you never let me do it. 226 00:07:45,874 --> 00:07:46,874 Is "put him down" right? 227 00:07:46,954 --> 00:07:47,954 - That is not true. - Sounds wrong. 228 00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:49,074 [Rumi] Meggles, for fuck's sake... 229 00:07:49,154 --> 00:07:51,034 - Like, put him down. - ..I can put our boy down. 230 00:07:51,114 --> 00:07:52,434 And yes, Ash, that's the correct parlance. 231 00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,714 - What the fuck are you wearing? - Party clothes! 232 00:07:54,794 --> 00:07:56,674 Don't get mad at me. You're mad at her. 233 00:07:56,754 --> 00:07:58,154 Babe, listen. 234 00:07:58,234 --> 00:08:01,994 Babe, I just want you to relax, okay? Okay? 235 00:08:02,074 --> 00:08:07,074 I want you to let me help you. I want you to have a fun night. 236 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,954 Yeah, come have a fun night. 237 00:08:09,034 --> 00:08:10,314 I won't be any fun, Ash. 238 00:08:10,394 --> 00:08:12,234 I'm not, like, a party girl anymore. 239 00:08:12,314 --> 00:08:13,874 I don't even drink anymore. 240 00:08:13,954 --> 00:08:15,154 Please? 241 00:08:15,234 --> 00:08:19,314 I guess I could do, like, a "mama's first night out post." 242 00:08:19,394 --> 00:08:20,114 Ew. 243 00:08:20,194 --> 00:08:21,954 - Let's do a "get ready with me." - Ahh. 244 00:08:22,034 --> 00:08:23,794 Yes, actually, this is good. 245 00:08:23,874 --> 00:08:25,354 - No, this is good. - Yeah. 246 00:08:25,434 --> 00:08:29,594 - [Soul music] - [Guests chatter] 247 00:08:29,674 --> 00:08:32,194 Hey, darling, can you just maybe make sure the people over there 248 00:08:32,274 --> 00:08:34,034 get it as well? 249 00:08:37,594 --> 00:08:38,914 - I'm a brewery boy. - [Laughs] 250 00:08:38,994 --> 00:08:40,154 Going out with a brewery boy, yeah. 251 00:08:40,234 --> 00:08:41,434 - Yeah. - Happy birthday! 252 00:08:41,514 --> 00:08:43,954 Thanks, babe. Yeah, well, she threw this for me. 253 00:08:44,034 --> 00:08:46,554 [Soul music continues] 254 00:08:46,634 --> 00:08:48,194 I'm gonna go find Gordy. 255 00:08:48,274 --> 00:08:50,474 Where is he? Where's Gordon? 256 00:08:50,554 --> 00:08:52,074 - Could be good. - [Gordon] Yeah. 257 00:08:52,154 --> 00:08:53,954 Excuse me, sir. This is the dick police. 258 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,914 There's been a report that your dick's fucking way too small! 259 00:08:56,994 --> 00:08:58,074 - Cunt! - Okay. Fuckin' hell, man. 260 00:08:58,154 --> 00:09:00,594 - Huh? - Sorry. You're a cockhead. 261 00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,434 - Happy birthday, cuntstick. - Mate! 262 00:09:02,514 --> 00:09:04,834 Why'd you come here for? You didn't have to come for this. 263 00:09:04,914 --> 00:09:06,954 What are you fucking talking about? It's your birthday. 264 00:09:07,034 --> 00:09:08,954 - You'd do the same for me. - No, I wouldn't, mate. 265 00:09:09,034 --> 00:09:10,034 I've missed heaps of your birthdays. 266 00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,354 Yeah, I know, 267 00:09:11,434 --> 00:09:12,954 'cause you're the fucking shitter brother, aren't you? 268 00:09:13,034 --> 00:09:14,354 - Hey? - Okay. All right, here we go. 269 00:09:14,434 --> 00:09:15,954 - Oh, thanks, mate. Cheers. - Cheers. 270 00:09:16,034 --> 00:09:18,074 Plus, it gets me away from fuckin' Katie, 271 00:09:18,154 --> 00:09:20,914 who's all "perimenopausal this, perimenopausal that." 272 00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:22,114 - Mm-hm. - Is it just me? 273 00:09:22,194 --> 00:09:24,154 Or did that shit start a couple of years ago? 274 00:09:24,234 --> 00:09:25,154 It's just you. 275 00:09:25,234 --> 00:09:26,554 Remember when Mummy got a bit weird 276 00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:28,754 and she just hit the rieslings a bit harder 277 00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:30,274 and she fucking got on with it. 278 00:09:30,354 --> 00:09:32,714 You should start a podcast, man. Real Joe Rogan vibes. 279 00:09:32,794 --> 00:09:33,954 - Yeah? - Yeah. 280 00:09:34,034 --> 00:09:35,354 Thanks, man. That's really nice. 281 00:09:35,434 --> 00:09:37,234 - Oh, you got it, man. - Is Ash here yet? 282 00:09:37,314 --> 00:09:39,234 - I don't think so, no. - Fuck! 283 00:09:39,314 --> 00:09:41,754 Ash and Chels at the same party. 284 00:09:41,834 --> 00:09:42,594 It's fine. 285 00:09:42,674 --> 00:09:43,954 That's some fucking big balls, cunt. 286 00:09:44,034 --> 00:09:45,954 That's some big motherfucking testes, son. 287 00:09:46,034 --> 00:09:46,954 Okay. 288 00:09:47,034 --> 00:09:48,714 That's some fucking big balls on toast. 289 00:09:48,794 --> 00:09:50,954 - Keep it down, mate. - I'm gonna circulate, big balls. 290 00:09:51,034 --> 00:09:52,074 I'll see you soon. 291 00:09:53,034 --> 00:09:54,754 Um... 292 00:09:54,834 --> 00:09:56,034 Yes. Uh... 293 00:09:56,114 --> 00:09:57,074 - Stocks. - Mm-hm. 294 00:09:57,154 --> 00:09:58,434 - Shares? - Mm-hm. 295 00:09:58,514 --> 00:09:59,474 - Market. - Mmm. 296 00:09:59,554 --> 00:10:00,274 Yes. 297 00:10:00,354 --> 00:10:02,994 Fuck. Oh, my God. [Laughs nervously] 298 00:10:03,074 --> 00:10:05,194 This was a mistake. Why did we come? 299 00:10:05,274 --> 00:10:06,794 Good. Let's go. 300 00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:07,954 Is should get back to Genre. 301 00:10:08,034 --> 00:10:10,674 No, no, no, no. Don't do that. Let's stay. 302 00:10:10,754 --> 00:10:11,954 [David] Hey, just in time. 303 00:10:12,034 --> 00:10:13,114 - [Ashley] Hi. - Oh, my God. David! 304 00:10:13,194 --> 00:10:14,794 [Ashley] Oh, shit, David! What the fuck? 305 00:10:14,874 --> 00:10:15,954 A bit too fishy for you? 306 00:10:16,034 --> 00:10:18,274 Too fishy for anyone. Didn't you shower? 307 00:10:18,354 --> 00:10:21,874 I'm sorry. I didn't want to be late. It's not that bad, is it? 308 00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:22,754 - It's bad! - Hey. 309 00:10:22,834 --> 00:10:24,714 - Smells really bad. - Hey, there she is. 310 00:10:24,794 --> 00:10:26,754 - Hi! - Hi. Ahh! 311 00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:28,594 - Meggles, how are you? - Bretty, how are you, mate? 312 00:10:28,674 --> 00:10:30,194 [Megan] It's so nice to see you, mate. 313 00:10:30,274 --> 00:10:32,954 Yeah, good to see you too. And this must be your boyfriend. 314 00:10:33,034 --> 00:10:33,954 [Sniffs] Fish? 315 00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:35,394 David. How are you? Good to see you. 316 00:10:35,474 --> 00:10:36,634 - Good you're here, mate. - Cool. 317 00:10:36,714 --> 00:10:37,434 Good you're here. 318 00:10:37,514 --> 00:10:38,994 - [Chiara] Ashley, hey. - Hey, Chi. 319 00:10:39,074 --> 00:10:41,674 How are you? Going good. Yeah. Good. [laughs] 320 00:10:41,754 --> 00:10:44,114 Hi. Too busy to say hello to your first lesbian girlfriend. 321 00:10:44,194 --> 00:10:45,954 - Oh, sorry, Chi. How are you? - Hello! 322 00:10:46,034 --> 00:10:47,314 It's just I'm checking on Genre. 323 00:10:47,394 --> 00:10:48,954 It's actually my first night away. 324 00:10:49,034 --> 00:10:50,474 - Shondra? - Genre. 325 00:10:50,554 --> 00:10:52,954 - Uh-huh. - It means 'origin' or 'kind'. 326 00:10:53,034 --> 00:10:55,194 Oh. And that is a child? 327 00:10:55,274 --> 00:10:56,954 - Yep. - Oh, congratula... 328 00:10:57,034 --> 00:10:58,114 Fuck, something smells... 329 00:10:58,194 --> 00:10:59,794 Something smells like a dead mermaid's vagina. 330 00:10:59,874 --> 00:11:03,074 [Laughs] No. I'm David. I'm Ashley's bloke. 331 00:11:03,154 --> 00:11:04,634 I've just been at the fish market. 332 00:11:04,714 --> 00:11:06,434 Oh. All good. Don't need to hug right now. 333 00:11:06,514 --> 00:11:07,714 We're gonna get a little drinkie. Please. 334 00:11:07,794 --> 00:11:09,514 - That'd be a good idea. - Go to the bar. 335 00:11:09,594 --> 00:11:12,514 Very handsome. And very smelly. 336 00:11:12,594 --> 00:11:13,834 Yeah. 337 00:11:13,914 --> 00:11:17,074 Anyway, being a mum is just, like, so full-on. 338 00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:18,314 You have no idea. 339 00:11:18,394 --> 00:11:20,954 Oh, I have some idea. I had three under five. 340 00:11:21,034 --> 00:11:22,314 - How old is she? - He. 341 00:11:22,394 --> 00:11:23,794 - 18 months. - Yeah, um... 342 00:11:23,874 --> 00:11:25,994 It's just, like, you don't realize how hard it's gonna be 343 00:11:26,074 --> 00:11:27,194 every moment, you know, every minute. 344 00:11:27,274 --> 00:11:28,954 - Correct. - What... what do they need? 345 00:11:29,034 --> 00:11:30,394 - Mm-hm. - How... how much has he eaten? 346 00:11:30,474 --> 00:11:31,954 - Mm-hm. - Has he slept enough? 347 00:11:32,034 --> 00:11:34,034 It is... It's, like, relentless, you know. 348 00:11:34,114 --> 00:11:36,954 You... you only have one, though. You've just got the one. 349 00:11:37,034 --> 00:11:39,074 He's a toddler, though. And a boy. 350 00:11:39,154 --> 00:11:41,274 So I'm... I'm really in the trenches. 351 00:11:41,354 --> 00:11:44,754 I have three actual boys - 13, 11 and 8. 352 00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:46,954 I mean, I've got trench foot, trench mouth and dysentery. 353 00:11:47,034 --> 00:11:48,794 I'm in the trenches. I think you've forgotten 354 00:11:49,034 --> 00:11:50,434 how hard toddlers are. 355 00:11:50,514 --> 00:11:52,594 Are you on crack? 'Cause I'm considering it. 356 00:11:52,674 --> 00:11:55,754 And you know who I could buy it from? My 11-year-old. 357 00:11:55,834 --> 00:11:56,834 [Gordon] Ashy. 358 00:11:56,914 --> 00:11:58,074 - Oh, hi. - [Gordon] Hey. 359 00:11:58,154 --> 00:11:59,594 - Hi, Gordie. [Laughs] - Hey. 360 00:11:59,674 --> 00:12:01,034 [Ashley] There he is. Happy birthday. 361 00:12:01,114 --> 00:12:03,434 Hey, thank you. Thanks for coming. 362 00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:05,594 Thank you so much for inviting us. 363 00:12:05,674 --> 00:12:06,914 Yeah, of course. 364 00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:08,114 Is that salmon? Uh, hey, man. 365 00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:10,194 Yeah, I think, yep, it is. 366 00:12:10,274 --> 00:12:11,834 Hm. It's not fresh, I tell ya. 367 00:12:11,914 --> 00:12:12,994 - Is it not? - Nuh. Uh-uh. 368 00:12:13,074 --> 00:12:14,674 Doesn't matter. Just say happy birthday, babe. 369 00:12:14,754 --> 00:12:16,234 - Sorry. Happy birthday, mate. - Yeah, thanks, mate. 370 00:12:16,314 --> 00:12:17,394 - Appreciate it. - Oh. 371 00:12:17,474 --> 00:12:18,634 - [Gordon] Oh! - Oh, no, no, no. 372 00:12:18,714 --> 00:12:20,594 - Come on. That's enough. - Oh, my God! Oh! 373 00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:22,234 I can smell that now. You're right. 374 00:12:22,314 --> 00:12:24,114 - That's off, isn't it? - Who does your fish? 375 00:12:24,194 --> 00:12:25,634 - Did you eat this? - Oh, it's okay. 376 00:12:25,714 --> 00:12:27,954 I could eat a day-old prawn out of a dirty ashtray. 377 00:12:28,034 --> 00:12:28,954 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 378 00:12:29,034 --> 00:12:30,194 - Iron gut? - Yeah. 379 00:12:30,274 --> 00:12:31,234 - Feel it. - Ha-ha! 380 00:12:31,314 --> 00:12:32,434 - No, feel it. - It's all right. 381 00:12:32,514 --> 00:12:33,954 He can't. He's got no free hands. 382 00:12:34,034 --> 00:12:36,074 Throw that out. It's disgus... It's off. 383 00:12:36,154 --> 00:12:37,674 Can I just say, 384 00:12:37,754 --> 00:12:39,954 I think it's really sweet you guys have reconnected. 385 00:12:40,034 --> 00:12:41,234 Thanks. 386 00:12:41,314 --> 00:12:42,954 I'm still really close to my ex. 387 00:12:43,034 --> 00:12:44,674 Yeah, right. [Sniffs] 388 00:12:44,754 --> 00:12:46,954 I'm sorry. That... that salmon's really hanging around, isn't it? 389 00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:48,074 - [Ashley] Yes. - That's terrible. 390 00:12:48,154 --> 00:12:50,394 You know what? Hey, just, you circulate. 391 00:12:50,474 --> 00:12:52,194 Got lots of people to talk to, birthday boy. 392 00:12:52,274 --> 00:12:53,394 - I'll find you later. - Okay. 393 00:12:53,474 --> 00:12:55,034 - Let's have a drink. Come on. - Good to see you. 394 00:12:55,114 --> 00:12:56,954 - Good to see you. - Wanna try some of your beers. 395 00:12:57,034 --> 00:12:58,554 - Yeah, all right. Yeah, do! - Yeah. 396 00:13:01,034 --> 00:13:02,954 I'm saying you got big balls, cunt! 397 00:13:03,034 --> 00:13:05,514 - Shut up, mate. - Big balls! 398 00:13:05,594 --> 00:13:06,954 Still alive or... 399 00:13:07,034 --> 00:13:09,954 S-sorry Chi. It's just... he usually goes down early. 400 00:13:10,034 --> 00:13:11,394 - No, no. - Chi, can you not? 401 00:13:11,474 --> 00:13:13,994 I'm sure he's great, but no one wants to talk about your kid. 402 00:13:14,074 --> 00:13:14,994 - You're really boring now. - What? 403 00:13:15,074 --> 00:13:16,594 You've forgotten how to be at a party. 404 00:13:16,674 --> 00:13:20,034 - Ask me a fucking question. - Oh, sorry. Fuck. 405 00:13:20,114 --> 00:13:21,794 Um, okay. 406 00:13:23,034 --> 00:13:24,274 [Exhales] How are you? 407 00:13:24,354 --> 00:13:26,954 Oh, thanks for asking. I'm really good. I've got ADHD. 408 00:13:27,034 --> 00:13:28,554 - You've always had that. - No, that's new. 409 00:13:28,634 --> 00:13:29,354 [Megan] Hmm. 410 00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:30,954 Uh, Andre and I got back together. 411 00:13:31,034 --> 00:13:32,194 - What? - Which was great. 412 00:13:32,274 --> 00:13:35,554 Until it wasn't. And, uh, now we are open. 413 00:13:35,634 --> 00:13:36,714 - Holy shit! - Yeah. 414 00:13:36,794 --> 00:13:37,874 - Really? - Yeah. 415 00:13:37,954 --> 00:13:40,194 Well, what's that like? I mean, Rumi's pretty curious. 416 00:13:40,274 --> 00:13:42,874 It's pretty great, actually. Yeah. 417 00:13:42,954 --> 00:13:44,874 And the hardest thing about having an open relationship 418 00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:45,954 is organizing child care. 419 00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,514 Hmm! Oh, my God. Tell me about it. 420 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:49,714 - If I just want an hour... - Stop. 421 00:13:49,794 --> 00:13:51,314 - Just one hour... - I'm telling you about it. 422 00:13:51,394 --> 00:13:53,074 You're listening. You've got your listening ears on. 423 00:13:53,154 --> 00:13:55,954 [Guests laugh and chatter] 424 00:13:56,034 --> 00:13:57,754 - What are you drinking there? - [Guest] Uh... 425 00:13:57,834 --> 00:14:00,154 Well, I mean, they are gonna be bankrupt 426 00:14:00,234 --> 00:14:01,234 when you're done with them. 427 00:14:01,314 --> 00:14:03,074 [Laughs] I am all in. 428 00:14:03,154 --> 00:14:04,634 You have a good night, okay? 429 00:14:04,714 --> 00:14:06,474 - Thanks, Tobes. Thanks again. - Knock 'em dead. 430 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,834 - Stop it! [Laughs] - [Ashley chuckles] 431 00:14:08,914 --> 00:14:11,274 Oh, wait, wait, wait. Sorry. Can I just fix that? 432 00:14:12,074 --> 00:14:14,234 Hi. You must be Chelsea. Hello. 433 00:14:14,314 --> 00:14:16,594 Hello! Um, what's your name? 434 00:14:16,674 --> 00:14:17,674 Ashley. 435 00:14:17,754 --> 00:14:19,594 Ashley. Hello, Ashley. 436 00:14:19,674 --> 00:14:21,794 Thanks so much for organizing this. 437 00:14:21,874 --> 00:14:23,434 Oh, yeah. Of course. 438 00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:25,154 - [Woman] Chelsea! - Hi, darling. Hi. 439 00:14:25,234 --> 00:14:26,594 - [Chelsea laughs] - [Woman] Nice to see you. 440 00:14:26,674 --> 00:14:29,634 Yeah. It's so good to see Heavy again. 441 00:14:29,714 --> 00:14:31,194 - Ohh. Good. - Yeah. 442 00:14:31,274 --> 00:14:33,594 We always got on so well. [Laughs] 443 00:14:33,674 --> 00:14:34,834 [Laughs awkwardly] 444 00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:37,794 - Hmm. - [Chelsea] Hmm! 445 00:14:39,034 --> 00:14:40,954 Did Dawn, um, come up? 446 00:14:41,034 --> 00:14:43,554 Uh, no. No. She was unable to. 447 00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:44,674 Oh, shame. 448 00:14:44,754 --> 00:14:47,114 Oh, my gosh. Stop it! 449 00:14:47,194 --> 00:14:49,234 - Get out of here. [Laughs] - [Woman] You stop it. 450 00:14:49,314 --> 00:14:51,954 I was there when Brian died. 451 00:14:52,034 --> 00:14:53,034 Yeah. [Laughs awkwardly] 452 00:14:53,114 --> 00:14:54,634 Yeah, when he passed away, I was there. 453 00:14:54,714 --> 00:14:56,434 - It was terrible. - Oh, no, it's... Yeah. 454 00:14:56,514 --> 00:15:00,034 Such a shock. Like, for everyone. 455 00:15:00,114 --> 00:15:02,434 - Yeah. I'm sure that was. Yeah. - Yeah. 456 00:15:02,514 --> 00:15:04,434 So, I was, uh, actually there. 457 00:15:04,514 --> 00:15:07,954 Like, I was physically there next to Gordon. 458 00:15:08,034 --> 00:15:09,354 - Oh, really? - Yes. 459 00:15:09,434 --> 00:15:10,954 'Cause I was his girlfriend. 460 00:15:11,034 --> 00:15:12,194 - Oh. Oh, yes. - Yeah. 461 00:15:12,274 --> 00:15:13,194 - Okay. Yeah. - Yeah. 462 00:15:13,274 --> 00:15:14,634 - At the time. - That makes total sense. 463 00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:15,954 Yeah. We were boyfriend-girlfriend. 464 00:15:16,034 --> 00:15:17,114 [Laughs falsely] Anyway, I'm sorry. 465 00:15:17,194 --> 00:15:19,354 If you'll excuse me, I have to go feed the dog. 466 00:15:19,434 --> 00:15:20,954 - Oh, Colin's here? - Yeah. 467 00:15:21,034 --> 00:15:23,954 Yeah, he's in the office because someone's allergic, apparently. 468 00:15:24,034 --> 00:15:25,714 Oh, are they? Yeah. Well, I can... 469 00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:27,194 You're busy. I can feed him. 470 00:15:27,274 --> 00:15:28,954 Oh, no, that's fine. He needs medicine. 471 00:15:29,034 --> 00:15:30,154 I know. 472 00:15:30,234 --> 00:15:32,074 Yeah, but he's just a bit nervous. 473 00:15:32,154 --> 00:15:34,794 He doesn't... he doesn't take food from just anyone. 474 00:15:34,874 --> 00:15:36,954 I'm not just anyone. 475 00:15:37,034 --> 00:15:38,274 No. Of course not. 476 00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:40,994 - You are Ashley. - That's it. 477 00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:42,274 - Yeah. - Yes. 478 00:15:42,354 --> 00:15:43,954 - Anyway, have a good night! - Oh, you too. 479 00:15:44,034 --> 00:15:45,274 - Nice to meet you. - Uh-huh. 480 00:15:47,834 --> 00:15:49,954 # It's time to let, let go... # 481 00:15:50,034 --> 00:15:52,554 - # Let go, let go... # - [Sighs] 482 00:15:52,634 --> 00:15:54,354 # Let go It's time to let... # 483 00:15:54,434 --> 00:15:56,034 - [Toilet roll holder thuds] - Fucking great. 484 00:15:56,114 --> 00:15:57,594 - # It's time to let go... # - Ashy, is that you? 485 00:15:57,674 --> 00:16:01,114 [Gasps] Meggles. Oh, my God. This is rough, hey? 486 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:02,274 - Is it? - Yeah. 487 00:16:02,354 --> 00:16:03,994 - Can I have some toilet paper? - Hm. 488 00:16:04,074 --> 00:16:07,114 Boo, I just met Chelsea, Gordon's new girlfriend. 489 00:16:07,194 --> 00:16:08,394 - Yeah. - Yeah. 490 00:16:08,474 --> 00:16:10,954 She's so fucking beautiful, I want to kill myself. 491 00:16:11,034 --> 00:16:12,194 I bet she isn't. 492 00:16:12,274 --> 00:16:15,754 She is. And she's, like, fucking crazy confident. 493 00:16:15,834 --> 00:16:19,074 She's like a hot robot of an old movie star. 494 00:16:19,154 --> 00:16:21,794 I look like a fucking homeless person next to her. 495 00:16:21,874 --> 00:16:23,954 A person currently experiencing houselessness? 496 00:16:24,034 --> 00:16:26,954 Not even. Just a full homeless person. 497 00:16:27,034 --> 00:16:28,234 - Oh, shit. - Yeah. 498 00:16:28,314 --> 00:16:31,234 And her eye contact was, like, fucking crazy. 499 00:16:31,314 --> 00:16:33,274 She was, like, staring at the back of my head. 500 00:16:33,354 --> 00:16:34,994 I felt like all my clothes fell off. 501 00:16:35,074 --> 00:16:36,194 Jesus. 502 00:16:36,274 --> 00:16:38,954 I don't even think she's ever heard of me. 503 00:16:39,034 --> 00:16:40,234 No?! 504 00:16:40,314 --> 00:16:41,594 - Yeah. - [Door opens] 505 00:16:41,674 --> 00:16:44,634 Do number twos at home, thanks. I don't want to hear it. 506 00:16:44,714 --> 00:16:45,714 Mum? 507 00:16:45,794 --> 00:16:47,034 [Lynelle] Oh, there you are. 508 00:16:47,114 --> 00:16:48,834 What the fuck? 509 00:16:48,914 --> 00:16:52,074 Oh, they discontinued this lipstick. I'm devastated. 510 00:16:52,154 --> 00:16:55,634 Mum, it is so inappropriate that you are here. 511 00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:58,474 I could say the same, Ashley Marie. 512 00:16:58,554 --> 00:17:00,634 No, you couldn't, because he invited me. 513 00:17:00,714 --> 00:17:01,714 What are you doing here? 514 00:17:01,794 --> 00:17:04,314 Well, Megan posted on her Insta stories. 515 00:17:04,394 --> 00:17:07,154 - [Toilet flushes] - Hello, Lynelle. 516 00:17:08,474 --> 00:17:10,194 I didn't realize you still followed me. 517 00:17:10,274 --> 00:17:12,154 Oh, hello, Megan. 518 00:17:13,234 --> 00:17:14,754 How's your dad? 519 00:17:15,554 --> 00:17:17,554 Why don't you return his calls and find out? 520 00:17:17,634 --> 00:17:19,674 I don't think there's much more to say. 521 00:17:19,754 --> 00:17:20,834 He doesn't feel that way. 522 00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:21,834 [Sighs] 523 00:17:21,914 --> 00:17:24,394 [Lynelle] Has anybody met Gordon's new girlfriend? 524 00:17:24,474 --> 00:17:28,954 She's so elegant, and her skin is amazing. 525 00:17:29,034 --> 00:17:32,834 Oh, you never stood a chance with all your sun damage. 526 00:17:32,914 --> 00:17:34,234 Mum, it's freckles. 527 00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:35,954 They're freckles when you're a child, darling. 528 00:17:36,034 --> 00:17:37,874 At your age, it's sun damage. 529 00:17:39,234 --> 00:17:41,994 # Yeah, yeah, yeah-hey # 530 00:17:42,074 --> 00:17:43,834 I nearly went with Trout of This World. 531 00:17:43,914 --> 00:17:44,874 [Chiara] Uh-huh. 532 00:17:44,954 --> 00:17:46,594 But actually I've ended up with... 533 00:17:47,754 --> 00:17:49,794 "Benefit of the Trout." 534 00:17:49,874 --> 00:17:51,034 [Laughs] Yeah. 535 00:17:51,114 --> 00:17:53,874 Did you consider, um, Shadow of a Trout? 536 00:17:53,954 --> 00:17:56,114 Mmm. But... no. 537 00:17:56,194 --> 00:17:57,554 - [Alistair] Out and A-trout? - Uh-uh. 538 00:17:57,634 --> 00:17:59,074 - [Chiara] Trout of Control? - Uhh. 539 00:17:59,154 --> 00:18:00,194 - Trout for a Duck? - Mm. 540 00:18:00,274 --> 00:18:02,114 [Chiara] Trout, Trout, Let It All Out? 541 00:18:02,194 --> 00:18:04,314 - No Diggity, No Trout? - Uh-uh. 542 00:18:04,394 --> 00:18:05,754 I don't know what that is. 543 00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,074 [Chiara] Standing on the Trout-side Looking In? 544 00:18:09,274 --> 00:18:10,954 You've already done that hand. 545 00:18:11,034 --> 00:18:12,034 [Alistair] Yeah, that's done that. 546 00:18:12,114 --> 00:18:13,274 - [Chiara] You did that one. - Yeah. 547 00:18:13,354 --> 00:18:15,114 Yeah, that's well clean. 548 00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:16,474 [Dance music] 549 00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:17,754 - Gordon? - Present. 550 00:18:17,834 --> 00:18:18,954 - Sorry. [laughs] - Hey. 551 00:18:19,034 --> 00:18:19,954 Hi. 552 00:18:20,034 --> 00:18:21,714 Um, sorry, there's no one at the bar, 553 00:18:21,794 --> 00:18:25,474 and Mum would like some chablis or albarin?o. 554 00:18:25,554 --> 00:18:26,634 Lynelle is here? 555 00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:27,834 Of course. 556 00:18:27,914 --> 00:18:29,274 Yeah, of course she is. 557 00:18:29,354 --> 00:18:32,514 Um, I might have. Do you want to... I'll just check. 558 00:18:32,594 --> 00:18:33,594 [Box thuds] 559 00:18:36,314 --> 00:18:37,634 Um... 560 00:18:37,714 --> 00:18:39,394 Ooh. Chilly. 561 00:18:39,474 --> 00:18:41,354 - Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? - Mmm. 562 00:18:41,434 --> 00:18:43,474 You, uh, having fun at your old mate's party? 563 00:18:43,554 --> 00:18:44,274 I am. 564 00:18:44,354 --> 00:18:45,754 Good. Told you we could be mates. 565 00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:47,754 - I know we could be mates. - Door's closing, door's closing. 566 00:18:47,834 --> 00:18:49,194 - Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! - [Door slams] 567 00:18:49,274 --> 00:18:50,314 - [Timer buzzes] - [Gordon] Fuck it. 568 00:18:50,394 --> 00:18:51,954 - [Ashley] Oh! - Oh, sorry, it's on a timer. 569 00:18:52,034 --> 00:18:53,114 [Ashley] Oh, my God, you're joking. 570 00:18:53,194 --> 00:18:54,914 [Gordon] No. It happens six times a day. 571 00:18:54,994 --> 00:18:55,954 It's fine. I'll just text Chi. 572 00:18:56,034 --> 00:18:57,754 - [Ashley] Where's your phone? - I left it here. 573 00:18:57,834 --> 00:18:58,834 [Objects clatter] 574 00:18:58,914 --> 00:19:00,194 [Gordon] Uh, somewhere. 575 00:19:01,074 --> 00:19:02,634 Um... [Speaks indistinctly] 576 00:19:02,714 --> 00:19:04,354 - Hey, there you are. - [Ashley] Sorry. 577 00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:06,994 # Can you make me feel all right? # 578 00:19:07,074 --> 00:19:09,354 # Tonight... # 579 00:19:09,434 --> 00:19:10,754 [Lips smack] 580 00:19:10,834 --> 00:19:12,994 # I'll dream forever... # 581 00:19:13,074 --> 00:19:14,954 [Phone chimes] 582 00:19:15,034 --> 00:19:16,594 # Midnight... # 583 00:19:16,674 --> 00:19:17,954 - [Ashley laughs nervously] - Yeah. 584 00:19:18,034 --> 00:19:20,874 [Dance music continues] 585 00:19:20,954 --> 00:19:22,194 Well, around the base of the beak, 586 00:19:22,274 --> 00:19:24,634 if you press through from the other side with your thumbs 587 00:19:24,714 --> 00:19:28,114 and you just push it through, then the beak fully comes out. 588 00:19:28,194 --> 00:19:30,954 Octopuses have beaks? 589 00:19:31,034 --> 00:19:32,754 Yeah, and if you bake them for an hour, 590 00:19:32,834 --> 00:19:34,234 they taste like a chip. 591 00:19:34,314 --> 00:19:35,394 Do you know that octopuses 592 00:19:35,474 --> 00:19:37,714 are at least as intelligent as Labradors? 593 00:19:37,794 --> 00:19:38,994 Fuck off. 594 00:19:39,074 --> 00:19:40,714 I'd never eat a Labrador. 595 00:19:40,794 --> 00:19:42,274 You ever been to China? 596 00:19:42,354 --> 00:19:44,154 You get what you're given there, mate. 597 00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:45,154 - I haven't. - [Phone chimes] 598 00:19:45,234 --> 00:19:46,474 But I have eaten some weird things. 599 00:19:46,554 --> 00:19:48,034 Oh! Gordy's locked in the cool room. 600 00:19:48,114 --> 00:19:49,314 - [Alistair] Is he? - Yep. 601 00:19:49,394 --> 00:19:51,114 I'm gonna have to go. I'll leave you here. 602 00:19:51,194 --> 00:19:52,314 No, I'll take care of that. 603 00:19:52,394 --> 00:19:53,714 - No, no, that's... - No, no, I insist. 604 00:19:53,794 --> 00:19:55,634 - No, I insist. It's my phone. - I insist. 605 00:19:55,714 --> 00:19:57,034 - He might need me. - It's all good. 606 00:19:57,114 --> 00:19:58,834 - Chi, I'm putting my foot down. - Are ya? 607 00:19:58,914 --> 00:20:00,274 - I'm insisting. - Are ya? 608 00:20:00,354 --> 00:20:02,954 - I've eaten, uh, crocodile. - Mm-hm. Yeah. 609 00:20:03,034 --> 00:20:04,114 - Frogs. - Oh. 610 00:20:04,194 --> 00:20:07,274 - Um, tarantula in Cambodia. - Oh. Mm-hm. 611 00:20:07,354 --> 00:20:08,434 Which is like a delicacy. 612 00:20:08,514 --> 00:20:09,754 - A horse, by mistake. - Oh. 613 00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:11,954 That's... [Laughs] That's actually a funny story. 614 00:20:12,034 --> 00:20:13,074 [Gasps] Is it? Go on, then. 615 00:20:13,154 --> 00:20:14,874 Well, I didn't think it was a horse. 616 00:20:14,954 --> 00:20:15,954 - Yep. - But it was. 617 00:20:16,754 --> 00:20:18,954 And then that's the end of the story, is it? 618 00:20:19,034 --> 00:20:20,274 Yep. 619 00:20:21,674 --> 00:20:24,594 [Door clunks and rumbles] 620 00:20:25,634 --> 00:20:26,994 Ahh, I see. 621 00:20:27,074 --> 00:20:28,674 No, you didn't. Nothing to see. 622 00:20:28,754 --> 00:20:30,874 Oh, no, I do. I've got eyes in my head. 623 00:20:30,954 --> 00:20:32,034 - [Gordon] No, you don't. - Hi. 624 00:20:32,114 --> 00:20:35,674 You okay, Ash? All alone here in the dark with Gordon? 625 00:20:35,754 --> 00:20:36,794 Oh, God, yeah. 626 00:20:36,874 --> 00:20:38,274 - Oh. That's nice. - Cool. 627 00:20:38,354 --> 00:20:39,954 Just met your boyfriend. 628 00:20:40,034 --> 00:20:41,594 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. 629 00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:42,834 Doesn't smell great, 630 00:20:42,914 --> 00:20:45,834 but at least he's boring and licks his fingers a lot. 631 00:20:45,914 --> 00:20:47,594 - Okay. - Yeah. 632 00:20:47,674 --> 00:20:48,474 Cool, cool. 633 00:20:48,554 --> 00:20:50,954 - After you. - Thank you so much. 634 00:20:51,034 --> 00:20:52,314 That's all right, Ash. 635 00:20:52,394 --> 00:20:55,514 - [Dance music] - [Guests chatter] 636 00:20:55,594 --> 00:20:59,074 I mean, men have been playing second fiddle for too long. 637 00:20:59,154 --> 00:21:00,954 - Yeah, right. - They've lost their voice. 638 00:21:01,034 --> 00:21:02,834 Yeah, sure, I guess. 639 00:21:02,914 --> 00:21:04,234 And that's not right. 640 00:21:04,314 --> 00:21:06,954 - Big, strong alpha like you. - Mm-hm. 641 00:21:07,034 --> 00:21:08,914 [Giggles] Do you have a girlfriend? 642 00:21:08,994 --> 00:21:10,954 Yeah, Carmen. It's online. 643 00:21:11,034 --> 00:21:12,954 But we haven't met yet. But, uh... 644 00:21:13,034 --> 00:21:16,514 All the more reason to establish the rules of engagement. 645 00:21:16,594 --> 00:21:17,674 Yeah, right. 646 00:21:17,754 --> 00:21:20,954 You need to say, "I'm the man of the house." 647 00:21:21,034 --> 00:21:21,954 Yeah, right. 648 00:21:22,034 --> 00:21:23,154 Say it! 649 00:21:24,514 --> 00:21:25,274 What? 650 00:21:25,354 --> 00:21:27,314 Say, "I'm the man of the house." 651 00:21:27,394 --> 00:21:28,994 I'm the man of the house. 652 00:21:29,074 --> 00:21:30,954 - Again. - Again. 653 00:21:31,034 --> 00:21:31,954 No. 654 00:21:32,034 --> 00:21:34,034 Say, "I'm the man of the house" again. 655 00:21:34,114 --> 00:21:35,954 I'm the man of the house again. 656 00:21:36,034 --> 00:21:37,034 No. 657 00:21:37,114 --> 00:21:38,394 [Tapping on microphone] 658 00:21:38,474 --> 00:21:39,274 No? 659 00:21:39,354 --> 00:21:43,114 Everyone, if I can have your attention. 660 00:21:43,194 --> 00:21:44,954 - Thank you. - [Ashley speaks indistinctly] 661 00:21:45,034 --> 00:21:46,954 - [Chelsea] Bit of shush. - Hey, birthday boy. Speech time. 662 00:21:47,034 --> 00:21:48,034 - Hey. - A bit of shush, please. 663 00:21:48,114 --> 00:21:49,514 - Should probably go over there. - That's okay. 664 00:21:49,594 --> 00:21:53,874 I, um... I first met Gordon 18 months ago 665 00:21:53,954 --> 00:21:58,674 when we held a work function here at this very brewery. 666 00:21:58,754 --> 00:22:02,394 And so I met this brew head or head brew man. 667 00:22:02,474 --> 00:22:04,394 - Or whatever it's called. - [Guests laugh] 668 00:22:04,474 --> 00:22:09,914 And he says to me, "I am going to kiss you in six minutes." 669 00:22:09,994 --> 00:22:11,354 - [Woman] Oh, no! - [Man] Ooh-hoo! 670 00:22:11,434 --> 00:22:14,874 Right? I know! Outrageous. 671 00:22:14,954 --> 00:22:18,074 And I thought, yeah, well, you know, that's very forward. 672 00:22:18,154 --> 00:22:19,834 It's a bit intense, actually. 673 00:22:19,914 --> 00:22:21,954 But then... he did. 674 00:22:22,034 --> 00:22:23,954 - [Guests laugh] - It's a good move. 675 00:22:24,034 --> 00:22:28,634 And then I thought, "Well, there is a man who follows through!" 676 00:22:28,714 --> 00:22:30,754 [Laughs uproariously] 677 00:22:30,834 --> 00:22:35,874 And I thought, "Ah! He's single, no kids, not fat. Unicorn!" 678 00:22:35,954 --> 00:22:38,194 [Laughs] 679 00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:40,554 Oh, my gosh, she's so funny. 680 00:22:40,634 --> 00:22:43,314 [Chelsea] Um, no, seriously, guys. 681 00:22:43,394 --> 00:22:45,874 Gordon, you are a very hardworking 682 00:22:45,954 --> 00:22:47,434 and loyal life partner. 683 00:22:47,514 --> 00:22:51,714 And... I know, we can't always agree what to watch on TV. 684 00:22:51,794 --> 00:22:55,554 But you usually give in and we watch my shows! [Laughs] 685 00:22:55,634 --> 00:22:56,954 [Guests laugh] 686 00:22:57,034 --> 00:22:59,474 I mean, what more could a girl ask for? [Laughs] 687 00:22:59,554 --> 00:23:02,674 Except perhaps a rock on my finger. Hint, hint. 688 00:23:02,754 --> 00:23:03,874 Got it. Got it. 689 00:23:03,954 --> 00:23:04,714 [Chelsea] Got it! 690 00:23:04,794 --> 00:23:06,034 - Love you, Gooby. - [Ashley laughs falsely] 691 00:23:06,114 --> 00:23:08,714 So let's all raise a glass 692 00:23:08,794 --> 00:23:13,954 and wish a very happy birthday to my Gooby, Gordon. 693 00:23:14,034 --> 00:23:14,994 [Guests] To Gordon! 694 00:23:15,074 --> 00:23:17,954 - Happy birthday! - [Guests] Happy birthday. 695 00:23:18,034 --> 00:23:19,754 - [Brett] Happy birthday. - Happy birthday. 696 00:23:19,834 --> 00:23:21,194 [Alistair] Come on. I just need a second. 697 00:23:21,274 --> 00:23:22,954 There's no... There's no speeches. 698 00:23:23,034 --> 00:23:25,034 Heavy, Heavy, Heavy. No more speeches. 699 00:23:25,114 --> 00:23:26,074 - Just let... - Okay. 700 00:23:26,154 --> 00:23:27,954 ..me say some words. Come on, Chels. 701 00:23:28,034 --> 00:23:29,194 - [Feedback whines] - Give it to me. 702 00:23:29,274 --> 00:23:30,954 I'll introduce you. Oh, my God! 703 00:23:31,034 --> 00:23:32,154 Hey, look at that. 704 00:23:32,234 --> 00:23:35,754 Everyone, this is, um, Alistair, Gordon's brother! 705 00:23:35,834 --> 00:23:36,954 - Whoo! - [Guests cheer] 706 00:23:37,034 --> 00:23:38,714 Hand it over. Fuckin' hell, 707 00:23:38,794 --> 00:23:40,394 I had to work hard for that one. 708 00:23:40,474 --> 00:23:41,194 [Mouths words] 709 00:23:41,274 --> 00:23:42,234 [Alistair] Uh, firstly, 710 00:23:42,314 --> 00:23:43,914 a big thanks to Chels 711 00:23:43,994 --> 00:23:45,874 for putting on this do for Flash. 712 00:23:45,954 --> 00:23:47,754 Round of applause, everyone. Come on! 713 00:23:47,834 --> 00:23:48,954 [Guests cheer] 714 00:23:49,034 --> 00:23:51,954 What do you reckon, eh? She spared no expense. 715 00:23:52,034 --> 00:23:53,474 Especially since she got the venue 716 00:23:53,554 --> 00:23:55,834 and all the piss for free. [Laughs] 717 00:23:55,914 --> 00:23:58,914 - [Guests laugh] - Oh, yeah. 718 00:23:58,994 --> 00:24:00,114 Uh, no, no, no. 719 00:24:00,194 --> 00:24:02,234 But, look, in all seriousness... 720 00:24:03,034 --> 00:24:04,234 ..it's just so great 721 00:24:04,314 --> 00:24:06,754 that Flash has just finally found the right girl. 722 00:24:06,834 --> 00:24:09,954 You just know when two people are meant to be together 723 00:24:10,034 --> 00:24:13,514 and they just fully... they fully get each other. 724 00:24:13,594 --> 00:24:16,754 And there's just no doubt about it or anything. 725 00:24:16,834 --> 00:24:19,314 You know, I mean, tonight he's brought Ash. 726 00:24:19,394 --> 00:24:20,154 No. Um... 727 00:24:20,234 --> 00:24:21,994 Chelsea's really cool with it. 728 00:24:22,074 --> 00:24:24,794 It's just such clean, honest, 729 00:24:24,874 --> 00:24:28,594 open, transparent love. 730 00:24:28,674 --> 00:24:30,874 And everyone's really, really cool about it. 731 00:24:30,954 --> 00:24:34,514 Uh, okay. All right. Well, that's about all from me. 732 00:24:34,594 --> 00:24:37,954 Oh, no. Some words of advice, Flash. 733 00:24:38,034 --> 00:24:42,794 As our dear departed dad said to me on my wedding day... 734 00:24:44,034 --> 00:24:46,874 ..when the river runs red, take the dirt road instead. 735 00:24:46,954 --> 00:24:48,194 - Okay. Thank you. - Am I right? 736 00:24:48,274 --> 00:24:49,594 - [Laughs] - [Alistair] Yeah. That's right. 737 00:24:49,674 --> 00:24:51,634 - [Chelsea] Thank you, Heavy. - That's right! 738 00:24:51,714 --> 00:24:53,874 Let's fucking party! 739 00:24:53,954 --> 00:24:56,954 [Guests cheer] 740 00:24:57,034 --> 00:24:58,874 - Cheers, mate. - Cheers, mate. 741 00:24:58,954 --> 00:25:00,474 What a speech. 742 00:25:00,554 --> 00:25:03,274 [Disco music] 743 00:25:09,314 --> 00:25:12,514 # I don't wanna hear about that kind of day you had # 744 00:25:12,594 --> 00:25:16,314 # Or what happened on the job that made you mad # 745 00:25:16,394 --> 00:25:20,194 # Tonight I don't wanna just stay at home # 746 00:25:20,274 --> 00:25:24,074 # Let's find a little club where we can be alone... # 747 00:25:24,154 --> 00:25:25,874 Have you said it? 748 00:25:25,954 --> 00:25:28,114 Like, "I'm the man of the house." 749 00:25:28,194 --> 00:25:31,234 I don't have to say it. I am the man of the house. 750 00:25:31,314 --> 00:25:32,514 Oh. 751 00:25:33,634 --> 00:25:34,954 Yes. 752 00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:36,594 Ooh, I felt that. 753 00:25:37,674 --> 00:25:38,834 You are. 754 00:25:38,914 --> 00:25:40,754 Yeah, I know. 755 00:25:42,394 --> 00:25:43,234 Well done. 756 00:25:43,314 --> 00:25:46,354 # I feel so romantic # 757 00:25:46,434 --> 00:25:50,314 # I want you to whisper in my ear sweet... # 758 00:25:50,394 --> 00:25:52,194 I'm going to get you another drink, Lynelle. 759 00:25:52,274 --> 00:25:54,954 I want that one finished when I get back. 760 00:25:55,034 --> 00:25:55,994 Okay. 761 00:25:56,074 --> 00:25:59,354 # Dance, dance, dance # 762 00:25:59,434 --> 00:26:03,034 # It's been a while since we had a good time # 763 00:26:03,114 --> 00:26:04,954 # So much pressure's been... # 764 00:26:05,034 --> 00:26:06,234 You're so... 765 00:26:07,034 --> 00:26:08,194 ..elegant and tall! 766 00:26:08,274 --> 00:26:11,954 Ah! Thanks. [Laughs] Ohh. 767 00:26:12,034 --> 00:26:13,674 Is your skin care Korean? 768 00:26:13,754 --> 00:26:14,674 It is! 769 00:26:14,754 --> 00:26:15,954 - It is? - Yes! 770 00:26:16,034 --> 00:26:18,034 I knew it! I knew it! 771 00:26:18,114 --> 00:26:20,114 [Guest laughs] 772 00:26:25,034 --> 00:26:27,074 - Hey, drunky, your Uber's here. - Ahh. 773 00:26:27,154 --> 00:26:29,714 - You're not my wife. - You wish. 774 00:26:29,794 --> 00:26:30,954 No. Is that this way? 775 00:26:31,034 --> 00:26:32,874 - Shall we call it? - Yeah. 776 00:26:32,954 --> 00:26:35,954 Hey, Gordon, we're gonna head out. Happy birthday, mate. 777 00:26:36,034 --> 00:26:37,794 Cheers, mate. 778 00:26:37,874 --> 00:26:39,194 Bye. 779 00:26:40,754 --> 00:26:41,954 [Alistair] Flash. Flash. 780 00:26:42,034 --> 00:26:44,354 - [David] Okay, Uberino time. - [Alistair] Happy birthday. 781 00:26:44,434 --> 00:26:46,954 Actually, I might walk home, if you don't mind. 782 00:26:47,034 --> 00:26:49,434 - Oh, I'm happy to walk. - No, no, you Uber. I don't mind. 783 00:26:49,514 --> 00:26:51,874 Hell, no. Let's perambulate. 784 00:26:51,954 --> 00:26:53,074 - [Laughs] - Okay. 785 00:26:53,154 --> 00:26:54,474 - Bye-bye. - [Ashley] Mm-hm. 786 00:26:54,554 --> 00:26:57,754 Thanks for coming, Ashley and David. 787 00:26:57,834 --> 00:26:59,314 [Laughs] 788 00:26:59,394 --> 00:27:01,394 So, I'll just group all of these over here 789 00:27:01,474 --> 00:27:03,194 so it's easy for when you empty the recycling. 790 00:27:03,274 --> 00:27:05,034 It's okay, Chels, I'll do that. I'll do that. 791 00:27:05,114 --> 00:27:06,514 Let's put the cans on this side. 792 00:27:06,594 --> 00:27:08,474 Chelsea, I know how to clean the bar. 793 00:27:09,714 --> 00:27:10,434 What's wrong? 794 00:27:10,514 --> 00:27:12,634 - Oh, nothing. Sorry. - Oh. 795 00:27:12,714 --> 00:27:13,954 - You all right? - Yeah. 796 00:27:14,034 --> 00:27:15,114 Yeah. 797 00:27:15,194 --> 00:27:16,754 Hey, I... I met your ex. 798 00:27:16,834 --> 00:27:17,954 Oh, yeah? 799 00:27:18,034 --> 00:27:20,914 - Yeah. She's sweet. - Yeah. 800 00:27:20,994 --> 00:27:22,834 - Quirky. - Yeah. 801 00:27:22,914 --> 00:27:24,274 - Not really your type. - Nah. 802 00:27:24,354 --> 00:27:26,514 [Laughs] I'm your type. 803 00:27:26,594 --> 00:27:27,954 Yes, you are. 804 00:27:28,034 --> 00:27:29,914 - Did you have fun? - Yeah. 805 00:27:29,994 --> 00:27:31,314 - Good. - Mmm. 806 00:27:33,034 --> 00:27:36,674 You deserve good things. Love you. 807 00:27:36,754 --> 00:27:38,354 I love you. 808 00:27:40,514 --> 00:27:41,474 Ohh. 809 00:27:41,554 --> 00:27:42,914 - Oh, sorry. That was... - Oh, yuck! 810 00:27:42,994 --> 00:27:44,034 - Yeah. Sorry. - Yuck, yuck. 811 00:27:44,114 --> 00:27:45,954 - # Don't fuck me over... # - You all right? 812 00:27:46,034 --> 00:27:47,154 Yeah. 813 00:27:47,234 --> 00:27:49,634 - # Sweet darlin'... # - It's just yuck. 814 00:27:50,474 --> 00:27:52,074 # 'Cause I am the only... # 815 00:27:52,154 --> 00:27:53,754 [David] So good to meet those guys. 816 00:27:53,834 --> 00:27:54,954 [Ashley] Yeah. 817 00:27:55,034 --> 00:27:56,514 - Really good people. - Yeah. 818 00:27:56,594 --> 00:27:59,154 Well, of course they're good people. You're a good person. 819 00:28:00,034 --> 00:28:01,954 Well, you're the best person. 820 00:28:02,034 --> 00:28:03,154 Thank you. 821 00:28:03,234 --> 00:28:04,514 # Sweet darlin'... # 822 00:28:04,594 --> 00:28:06,314 I know I might be biased, but still... 823 00:28:06,394 --> 00:28:07,634 # I am the only... # 824 00:28:07,714 --> 00:28:09,274 I think you're pretty bloody great. 825 00:28:09,354 --> 00:28:11,154 # One you should see... # 826 00:28:11,234 --> 00:28:13,194 Thanks, David. 827 00:28:14,034 --> 00:28:16,114 # Ooh # 828 00:28:20,234 --> 00:28:23,514 # Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh # 829 00:28:28,034 --> 00:28:31,034 # Don't fuck me over # 830 00:28:32,154 --> 00:28:34,634 # Sweet darlin' # 831 00:28:35,434 --> 00:28:38,554 # 'Cause I am the only 832 00:28:39,714 --> 00:28:41,834 # One you should see # 59630

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