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1
00:00:13,794 --> 00:00:16,074
[Man on radio]
You're with Ditzy and Riptug
2
00:00:16,154 --> 00:00:18,434
on this Tuesday morning,
smashing out the hits.
3
00:00:18,514 --> 00:00:21,354
Hey, who remembers
this banger from 1986?
4
00:00:21,434 --> 00:00:23,594
# Dave Dobbyn with Herbs'
"Slice of Heaven" #
5
00:00:23,674 --> 00:00:24,674
[Song stops abruptly]
6
00:00:24,754 --> 00:00:27,434
Um, you... you know,
7
00:00:27,514 --> 00:00:30,154
you don't have to stay for this.
8
00:00:30,234 --> 00:00:31,274
- What? No. No.
- Yeah.
9
00:00:31,354 --> 00:00:33,514
I want to meet
the other love of your life.
10
00:00:33,594 --> 00:00:35,514
Oh, no, you don't.
Don't say that.
11
00:00:35,594 --> 00:00:37,874
- No. I mean... I mean Colin.
- Oh!
12
00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:38,954
Yes.
13
00:00:39,034 --> 00:00:40,554
This is important to you,
14
00:00:40,634 --> 00:00:42,434
you know,
so it's important to me.
15
00:00:43,234 --> 00:00:44,154
- [David] Just here?
- Yeah.
16
00:00:44,234 --> 00:00:45,954
- Are we gonna fit?
- Uh, yeah.
17
00:00:46,034 --> 00:00:48,554
There's so much room.
18
00:00:48,634 --> 00:00:49,954
We made it!
19
00:00:50,034 --> 00:00:52,074
Hey, thank you for being, like,
20
00:00:52,154 --> 00:00:54,354
the most patient,
the most beautiful,
21
00:00:54,434 --> 00:00:56,954
the most sexiest
driving teacher ever.
22
00:00:57,034 --> 00:00:59,074
- [Ashley giggles]
- I love you.
23
00:00:59,154 --> 00:01:01,954
Yeah, you too. Shall we go?
24
00:01:02,034 --> 00:01:03,194
Yeah, you go, I've just gotta do
25
00:01:03,274 --> 00:01:05,154
a couple of things
for my allergies, pre-Colin.
26
00:01:05,234 --> 00:01:06,794
- Oh.
- Yeah.
27
00:01:06,874 --> 00:01:08,274
Okay.
28
00:01:08,354 --> 00:01:10,954
- I'll see ya!
- Okay.
29
00:01:11,034 --> 00:01:12,074
Love you...
30
00:01:12,154 --> 00:01:14,154
[Dog barks in distance]
31
00:01:15,834 --> 00:01:16,794
[Dog barks]
32
00:01:16,874 --> 00:01:19,874
[Romantic music]
33
00:01:21,034 --> 00:01:21,954
Hi.
34
00:01:22,034 --> 00:01:23,234
[Giggles]
35
00:01:24,314 --> 00:01:25,874
Hi!
36
00:01:26,874 --> 00:01:28,834
Hey, there she is. There she is.
37
00:01:30,594 --> 00:01:32,034
Hi.
38
00:01:33,034 --> 00:01:34,034
[Colin whines]
Yeah.
39
00:01:35,034 --> 00:01:36,914
[Wheels squeak]
40
00:01:36,994 --> 00:01:39,754
Good boy! Good boy!
41
00:01:39,834 --> 00:01:42,234
I missed you so much! I did!
42
00:01:42,314 --> 00:01:44,114
Oh, I did. I missed you!
43
00:01:44,194 --> 00:01:46,274
- Hey!
- Missed you!
44
00:01:46,354 --> 00:01:48,954
- Ooh. Hey!
- I think he remembers you.
45
00:01:49,034 --> 00:01:50,954
Oh, I hope so.
46
00:01:51,034 --> 00:01:52,074
God.
47
00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:54,194
- Oh. Uh-oh. Don't turn around.
- What is it?
48
00:01:54,274 --> 00:01:56,794
Nothing. Just don't turn around.
It's a weird guy, weird guy.
49
00:01:56,874 --> 00:01:57,954
Shall we laugh?
50
00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:00,034
[Both laugh falsely]
51
00:02:00,114 --> 00:02:01,954
Anyway, should probably go now.
52
00:02:02,034 --> 00:02:03,234
- Ha-ha!
- Ahoy there!
53
00:02:03,314 --> 00:02:04,994
Ahoy, me hearty! He's coming.
54
00:02:05,074 --> 00:02:06,514
- Arr!
- David? Oh.
55
00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:07,954
- What are you wearing? Sorry.
- Hi.
56
00:02:08,034 --> 00:02:09,954
Gordon, this is David,
allergic to dogs.
57
00:02:10,034 --> 00:02:10,954
- Gordon.
- Hey!
58
00:02:11,034 --> 00:02:12,514
G'day.
Good to meet you, finally.
59
00:02:12,594 --> 00:02:15,154
- David. Hello.
- Hey. How you doing?
60
00:02:15,234 --> 00:02:16,754
- Good.
- Sorry about the get-up.
61
00:02:16,834 --> 00:02:17,874
I'm just, um...
62
00:02:17,954 --> 00:02:19,194
I'm trying to limit the contact
63
00:02:19,274 --> 00:02:21,034
with, uh, the dander in the fur.
64
00:02:21,114 --> 00:02:22,874
- That's really toxic.
- The...
65
00:02:22,954 --> 00:02:23,954
- The dander.
- The dander?
66
00:02:24,034 --> 00:02:24,954
- [David] Yeah.
- Oh.
67
00:02:25,034 --> 00:02:26,274
- And the saliva.
- Oh, right.
68
00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:28,634
Both really, um,
get to me, so...
69
00:02:28,714 --> 00:02:29,954
Did you need all that?
70
00:02:30,034 --> 00:02:31,034
Yeah, I'm just trying to be...
71
00:02:31,114 --> 00:02:32,234
- This is him, is it?
- Yes.
72
00:02:32,314 --> 00:02:34,474
- This is the famous Colin.
- Hello, Colin!
73
00:02:34,554 --> 00:02:35,954
- [Laughs]
- He's not that scary.
74
00:02:36,034 --> 00:02:37,194
No!
75
00:02:37,274 --> 00:02:38,794
- Hi!
- [Ashley] Okay.
76
00:02:38,874 --> 00:02:40,034
Oh, you don't have to touch him.
77
00:02:40,114 --> 00:02:41,354
- Don't worry about it.
- [Splutters]
78
00:02:41,434 --> 00:02:42,954
Don't push yourself, you know?
79
00:02:43,034 --> 00:02:44,034
Okay.
Oh, no!
80
00:02:45,074 --> 00:02:46,034
- What's wrong?
- You right?
81
00:02:46,114 --> 00:02:47,274
- It's happening.
- [Gordon] Oh, Jesus.
82
00:02:47,354 --> 00:02:49,114
[David] I knew it. Oh, God!
83
00:02:49,194 --> 00:02:50,234
[David exhales]
84
00:02:50,314 --> 00:02:51,954
Darl, are you all right?
85
00:02:52,034 --> 00:02:53,034
Uh...
86
00:02:53,114 --> 00:02:54,514
[Water squirts]
87
00:02:54,594 --> 00:02:55,954
[David groans]
88
00:02:56,034 --> 00:02:57,034
[Gargles]
89
00:02:58,034 --> 00:02:59,954
It's okay.
I'm just gonna be over here.
90
00:03:00,034 --> 00:03:01,914
- Yeah.
- No worries.
91
00:03:01,994 --> 00:03:03,674
He must have a lot of dander.
92
00:03:03,754 --> 00:03:05,554
[Gordon] Yeah, the dander.
93
00:03:07,114 --> 00:03:09,114
Don't. He's rea...
He's really allergic.
94
00:03:09,194 --> 00:03:10,834
I didn't say anything.
He's nice.
95
00:03:10,914 --> 00:03:12,194
He is really sweet, yeah.
96
00:03:12,274 --> 00:03:14,954
- You been together long or...?
- Yeah, two and a half years.
97
00:03:15,034 --> 00:03:16,634
Okay. Oh, wow. Serious.
98
00:03:16,714 --> 00:03:18,954
Yeah, it's pretty ser...
pretty serious.
99
00:03:19,034 --> 00:03:19,954
- All right.
- How about you?
100
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,274
Do you have a...
101
00:03:21,354 --> 00:03:22,954
[Comical voice]
..girlfriend, boyfriend?
102
00:03:23,034 --> 00:03:24,954
Uh, me? Yeah.
Yeah, I've got a girlfriend.
103
00:03:25,034 --> 00:03:25,954
[Regular voice] Oh, really?
104
00:03:26,034 --> 00:03:27,954
- Ha-ha. Wow.
- Yeah.
105
00:03:28,034 --> 00:03:29,834
Uh, Chelsea, she's a lawyer.
106
00:03:29,914 --> 00:03:30,954
Uh, been together about a year.
107
00:03:31,034 --> 00:03:31,994
This is good!
108
00:03:32,074 --> 00:03:34,074
Yeah, you've got a girlfriend.
I've got a...
109
00:03:34,154 --> 00:03:35,074
Beekeeper.
110
00:03:35,154 --> 00:03:36,234
- Don't.
- Sorry.
111
00:03:36,314 --> 00:03:37,954
I'm just saying, this is good.
112
00:03:38,034 --> 00:03:39,674
I'm relieved, actually.
113
00:03:39,754 --> 00:03:40,674
- Oh.
- You've got...
114
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,474
Yeah, we can be friends.
We can be mates.
115
00:03:42,554 --> 00:03:44,114
- So now that we are mates...
- Yes.
116
00:03:44,194 --> 00:03:46,794
..um, why don't you guys
come to my birthday party?
117
00:03:46,874 --> 00:03:48,994
- Oh, is it your birthday?
- Yeah, in a few days. Yeah.
118
00:03:49,074 --> 00:03:50,954
And, uh, I know
we never got to my birthday
119
00:03:51,034 --> 00:03:53,194
when you and I were together,
but I seem to remember
120
00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:54,914
celebrating your birthday
almost constantly.
121
00:03:54,994 --> 00:03:55,954
Shut up.
122
00:03:56,034 --> 00:03:58,194
Why don't you come?
If he makes it.
123
00:03:58,274 --> 00:04:00,114
[Gargles, splutters]
124
00:04:00,194 --> 00:04:01,954
Chelsea's organizing it.
It's gonna be at the brewery.
125
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:04,274
Yeah. You'll get to see
everyone again. It'll be fun.
126
00:04:04,354 --> 00:04:07,434
Everyone? Oh, God. Okay.
[Laughs awkwardly]
127
00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:08,794
Should I go?
128
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,954
Should I go, Collywobbles?
129
00:04:11,034 --> 00:04:13,194
Um, yeah, I'll think about it.
130
00:04:13,274 --> 00:04:14,714
Hey, unrelated...
131
00:04:16,434 --> 00:04:18,954
Was that you I saw
at the brewery the other day?
132
00:04:19,034 --> 00:04:19,954
When?
133
00:04:20,034 --> 00:04:21,474
It was the same day
we met, actually.
134
00:04:21,554 --> 00:04:22,954
Later that day. Was that you?
135
00:04:23,034 --> 00:04:25,394
- A few days ago?
- Ooh. No. No, no, no.
136
00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,154
- Outside the brewery?
- No.
137
00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:28,754
- In a car?
- Car?
138
00:04:28,834 --> 00:04:29,954
With wine?
139
00:04:30,034 --> 00:04:33,354
I'm off the grog right now,
so it wasn't me.
140
00:04:33,434 --> 00:04:35,594
- Oh. I must have got that wrong.
- [David] Hey, Ash.
141
00:04:35,674 --> 00:04:37,954
I think my throat's
closing over.
142
00:04:38,034 --> 00:04:40,274
[Gags and retches]
143
00:04:41,554 --> 00:04:43,234
You've got to go.
His throat's closing over.
144
00:04:43,314 --> 00:04:45,234
Yeah, I've got to drive him.
He's on his L's.
145
00:04:45,314 --> 00:04:47,074
- He's on his L's?
- Shut up.
146
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:49,314
[Theme music]
147
00:05:10,354 --> 00:05:11,794
[Gordon] Hey, Bretty boy.
148
00:05:12,994 --> 00:05:13,954
I want to tell you something.
149
00:05:14,034 --> 00:05:15,954
I just want to get ahead
of something, okay?
150
00:05:16,034 --> 00:05:18,034
Um, I'm going to tell you
in confidence,
151
00:05:18,114 --> 00:05:20,674
and I don't...
you're not allowed to hit me.
152
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:21,714
Okay?
153
00:05:21,794 --> 00:05:23,794
- You invited Ash, didn't you?
- Yes, I did.
154
00:05:23,874 --> 00:05:25,594
No, no, no, no!
She's bringing her boyfriend!
155
00:05:25,674 --> 00:05:27,234
- I'm gonna hit you.
- She's bringing her boyfriend!
156
00:05:27,314 --> 00:05:29,514
Got a boyfriend, yeah, okay?
So it's fine.
157
00:05:29,594 --> 00:05:32,714
We can be mates. So it's above
board, mate. It's all fine.
158
00:05:32,794 --> 00:05:33,954
- Real talk, Gordo?
- Yeah.
159
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,954
- When she left you...
- It was mutual, man.
160
00:05:36,034 --> 00:05:37,154
She left you, all right?
161
00:05:37,234 --> 00:05:38,954
And I've never seen you
like that before.
162
00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:40,194
And I never want to again.
163
00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:41,314
You won't, man.
164
00:05:41,394 --> 00:05:42,954
As long as I've known you,
Gordon,
165
00:05:43,034 --> 00:05:44,954
you've always been great
with the ladies, yeah?
166
00:05:45,034 --> 00:05:47,514
You're like the Ronda Rousey
of relationships.
167
00:05:47,594 --> 00:05:48,954
- Is that a UFC reference?
- Yeah.
168
00:05:49,034 --> 00:05:50,954
Again, I don't get
those references, man.
169
00:05:51,034 --> 00:05:53,474
- Ronda Rousey was undefeated.
- Okay.
170
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,714
- Her armbar's legendary.
- I get it, I get it.
171
00:05:55,794 --> 00:05:58,394
Until she met Holly Holm,
"The Preacher's Daughter."
172
00:05:58,474 --> 00:06:01,274
Point is, yep, I'm Ronda Rousey,
um, Ash is Holly Holm.
173
00:06:01,354 --> 00:06:02,514
Yes, she destroyed
my confidence.
174
00:06:02,594 --> 00:06:04,274
- She took my heavyweight title.
- Bantamweight.
175
00:06:04,354 --> 00:06:05,874
Bantamweight. Fuckin', I get it.
176
00:06:05,954 --> 00:06:07,994
It's fine, though. We're mates.
She's coming. It's all good.
177
00:06:08,074 --> 00:06:10,194
We're mates.
Everyone fuckin' relax.
178
00:06:12,114 --> 00:06:13,434
And, Bretty?
179
00:06:13,514 --> 00:06:16,394
Mate, if you hit me again,
I'm gonna hit you back.
180
00:06:16,474 --> 00:06:18,794
- Okay.
- Oh, okay. Fuckin'...
181
00:06:19,794 --> 00:06:20,954
But it's there. Yeah.
182
00:06:21,034 --> 00:06:22,714
- We're good?
- We're good.
183
00:06:22,794 --> 00:06:23,794
I love you.
184
00:06:23,874 --> 00:06:24,914
Love you too. Okay?
185
00:06:24,994 --> 00:06:26,594
But just... just don't
poke the bear.
186
00:06:26,674 --> 00:06:28,034
- All right?
- Cool.
187
00:06:28,114 --> 00:06:30,674
[Lighthearted music]
188
00:06:31,754 --> 00:06:33,034
Hi. I'm Ashley.
189
00:06:33,114 --> 00:06:34,954
[Giggles] Thank you, I am fun.
190
00:06:35,034 --> 00:06:36,634
But I'm also a medical doctor.
191
00:06:36,714 --> 00:06:39,234
How do I know Gordon?
We went out.
192
00:06:39,314 --> 00:06:40,954
It was short,
but very meaningful.
193
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:44,114
He's still in love with me.
He's fuckin' obsessed with me.
194
00:06:44,194 --> 00:06:45,834
Can I look at your rash?
195
00:06:45,914 --> 00:06:47,674
Not right now. I'm at a party.
196
00:06:48,874 --> 00:06:50,274
Meggles!
197
00:06:52,114 --> 00:06:53,874
I'm overthinking it, aren't I?
198
00:06:53,954 --> 00:06:55,154
Is this a good party outfit?
199
00:06:55,234 --> 00:06:56,674
Is it a kids' party?
200
00:06:56,754 --> 00:06:57,674
Fuck!
201
00:06:57,754 --> 00:06:58,914
Okay, it's really important
202
00:06:58,994 --> 00:07:00,394
Gordon sees how hot you are.
203
00:07:00,474 --> 00:07:03,274
Firm agree. I had a dream
about him last night.
204
00:07:03,354 --> 00:07:04,874
And... and we were on a beach,
205
00:07:04,954 --> 00:07:06,474
and I did a cartwheel
in a bikini,
206
00:07:06,554 --> 00:07:09,154
and I looked so fuckin' good.
207
00:07:09,234 --> 00:07:12,074
Was it, like, your body
or a dream body?
208
00:07:12,154 --> 00:07:13,474
Yes, it was my body.
209
00:07:13,554 --> 00:07:14,954
Oh, well, you know,
sometimes it's...
210
00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:16,554
Yeah, okay. My tits were bigger.
211
00:07:16,634 --> 00:07:18,314
- Fuck off.
- What's this, though?
212
00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:20,594
You look like you
just got out of a cult.
213
00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,034
Fuckin' hell, man.
214
00:07:22,114 --> 00:07:23,234
Get it off.
215
00:07:23,314 --> 00:07:25,554
I need you to come with me.
I need a wingman.
216
00:07:25,634 --> 00:07:26,954
No. You've got David.
217
00:07:27,034 --> 00:07:29,354
No, because he's coming after
his fish market trial.
218
00:07:29,434 --> 00:07:31,554
He'll be late.
Can't Rumi put Genre down?
219
00:07:31,634 --> 00:07:34,474
[Whispers] I don't trust her
to put him down.
220
00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:35,954
I'm sorry?
221
00:07:36,034 --> 00:07:37,194
How did you hear that?
222
00:07:37,274 --> 00:07:38,954
No, it's not that
I don't trust you.
223
00:07:39,034 --> 00:07:40,474
I can put him down, babe.
224
00:07:40,554 --> 00:07:43,994
Yeah, I know you can. It's just
he's used to me doing it.
225
00:07:44,074 --> 00:07:45,794
Yeah, because
you never let me do it.
226
00:07:45,874 --> 00:07:46,874
Is "put him down" right?
227
00:07:46,954 --> 00:07:47,954
- That is not true.
- Sounds wrong.
228
00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:49,074
[Rumi] Meggles,
for fuck's sake...
229
00:07:49,154 --> 00:07:51,034
- Like, put him down.
- ..I can put our boy down.
230
00:07:51,114 --> 00:07:52,434
And yes, Ash,
that's the correct parlance.
231
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,714
- What the fuck are you wearing?
- Party clothes!
232
00:07:54,794 --> 00:07:56,674
Don't get mad at me.
You're mad at her.
233
00:07:56,754 --> 00:07:58,154
Babe, listen.
234
00:07:58,234 --> 00:08:01,994
Babe, I just want you
to relax, okay? Okay?
235
00:08:02,074 --> 00:08:07,074
I want you to let me help you.
I want you to have a fun night.
236
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,954
Yeah, come have a fun night.
237
00:08:09,034 --> 00:08:10,314
I won't be any fun, Ash.
238
00:08:10,394 --> 00:08:12,234
I'm not, like,
a party girl anymore.
239
00:08:12,314 --> 00:08:13,874
I don't even drink anymore.
240
00:08:13,954 --> 00:08:15,154
Please?
241
00:08:15,234 --> 00:08:19,314
I guess I could do, like,
a "mama's first night out post."
242
00:08:19,394 --> 00:08:20,114
Ew.
243
00:08:20,194 --> 00:08:21,954
- Let's do a "get ready with me."
- Ahh.
244
00:08:22,034 --> 00:08:23,794
Yes, actually, this is good.
245
00:08:23,874 --> 00:08:25,354
- No, this is good.
- Yeah.
246
00:08:25,434 --> 00:08:29,594
- [Soul music]
- [Guests chatter]
247
00:08:29,674 --> 00:08:32,194
Hey, darling, can you just maybe
make sure the people over there
248
00:08:32,274 --> 00:08:34,034
get it as well?
249
00:08:37,594 --> 00:08:38,914
- I'm a brewery boy.
- [Laughs]
250
00:08:38,994 --> 00:08:40,154
Going out with
a brewery boy, yeah.
251
00:08:40,234 --> 00:08:41,434
- Yeah.
- Happy birthday!
252
00:08:41,514 --> 00:08:43,954
Thanks, babe. Yeah, well,
she threw this for me.
253
00:08:44,034 --> 00:08:46,554
[Soul music continues]
254
00:08:46,634 --> 00:08:48,194
I'm gonna go find Gordy.
255
00:08:48,274 --> 00:08:50,474
Where is he? Where's Gordon?
256
00:08:50,554 --> 00:08:52,074
- Could be good.
- [Gordon] Yeah.
257
00:08:52,154 --> 00:08:53,954
Excuse me, sir.
This is the dick police.
258
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,914
There's been a report that your
dick's fucking way too small!
259
00:08:56,994 --> 00:08:58,074
- Cunt!
- Okay. Fuckin' hell, man.
260
00:08:58,154 --> 00:09:00,594
- Huh?
- Sorry. You're a cockhead.
261
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,434
- Happy birthday, cuntstick.
- Mate!
262
00:09:02,514 --> 00:09:04,834
Why'd you come here for? You
didn't have to come for this.
263
00:09:04,914 --> 00:09:06,954
What are you fucking talking
about? It's your birthday.
264
00:09:07,034 --> 00:09:08,954
- You'd do the same for me.
- No, I wouldn't, mate.
265
00:09:09,034 --> 00:09:10,034
I've missed heaps
of your birthdays.
266
00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,354
Yeah, I know,
267
00:09:11,434 --> 00:09:12,954
'cause you're the fucking
shitter brother, aren't you?
268
00:09:13,034 --> 00:09:14,354
- Hey?
- Okay. All right, here we go.
269
00:09:14,434 --> 00:09:15,954
- Oh, thanks, mate. Cheers.
- Cheers.
270
00:09:16,034 --> 00:09:18,074
Plus, it gets me away
from fuckin' Katie,
271
00:09:18,154 --> 00:09:20,914
who's all "perimenopausal this,
perimenopausal that."
272
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:22,114
- Mm-hm.
- Is it just me?
273
00:09:22,194 --> 00:09:24,154
Or did that shit start
a couple of years ago?
274
00:09:24,234 --> 00:09:25,154
It's just you.
275
00:09:25,234 --> 00:09:26,554
Remember when Mummy
got a bit weird
276
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:28,754
and she just hit
the rieslings a bit harder
277
00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:30,274
and she fucking got on with it.
278
00:09:30,354 --> 00:09:32,714
You should start a podcast, man.
Real Joe Rogan vibes.
279
00:09:32,794 --> 00:09:33,954
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
280
00:09:34,034 --> 00:09:35,354
Thanks, man. That's really nice.
281
00:09:35,434 --> 00:09:37,234
- Oh, you got it, man.
- Is Ash here yet?
282
00:09:37,314 --> 00:09:39,234
- I don't think so, no.
- Fuck!
283
00:09:39,314 --> 00:09:41,754
Ash and Chels at the same party.
284
00:09:41,834 --> 00:09:42,594
It's fine.
285
00:09:42,674 --> 00:09:43,954
That's some fucking
big balls, cunt.
286
00:09:44,034 --> 00:09:45,954
That's some big
motherfucking testes, son.
287
00:09:46,034 --> 00:09:46,954
Okay.
288
00:09:47,034 --> 00:09:48,714
That's some fucking
big balls on toast.
289
00:09:48,794 --> 00:09:50,954
- Keep it down, mate.
- I'm gonna circulate, big balls.
290
00:09:51,034 --> 00:09:52,074
I'll see you soon.
291
00:09:53,034 --> 00:09:54,754
Um...
292
00:09:54,834 --> 00:09:56,034
Yes. Uh...
293
00:09:56,114 --> 00:09:57,074
- Stocks.
- Mm-hm.
294
00:09:57,154 --> 00:09:58,434
- Shares?
- Mm-hm.
295
00:09:58,514 --> 00:09:59,474
- Market.
- Mmm.
296
00:09:59,554 --> 00:10:00,274
Yes.
297
00:10:00,354 --> 00:10:02,994
Fuck. Oh, my God.
[Laughs nervously]
298
00:10:03,074 --> 00:10:05,194
This was a mistake.
Why did we come?
299
00:10:05,274 --> 00:10:06,794
Good. Let's go.
300
00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:07,954
Is should get back to Genre.
301
00:10:08,034 --> 00:10:10,674
No, no, no, no.
Don't do that. Let's stay.
302
00:10:10,754 --> 00:10:11,954
[David] Hey, just in time.
303
00:10:12,034 --> 00:10:13,114
- [Ashley] Hi.
- Oh, my God. David!
304
00:10:13,194 --> 00:10:14,794
[Ashley] Oh, shit, David!
What the fuck?
305
00:10:14,874 --> 00:10:15,954
A bit too fishy for you?
306
00:10:16,034 --> 00:10:18,274
Too fishy for anyone.
Didn't you shower?
307
00:10:18,354 --> 00:10:21,874
I'm sorry. I didn't want to be
late. It's not that bad, is it?
308
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:22,754
- It's bad!
- Hey.
309
00:10:22,834 --> 00:10:24,714
- Smells really bad.
- Hey, there she is.
310
00:10:24,794 --> 00:10:26,754
- Hi!
- Hi. Ahh!
311
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:28,594
- Meggles, how are you?
- Bretty, how are you, mate?
312
00:10:28,674 --> 00:10:30,194
[Megan] It's so nice
to see you, mate.
313
00:10:30,274 --> 00:10:32,954
Yeah, good to see you too.
And this must be your boyfriend.
314
00:10:33,034 --> 00:10:33,954
[Sniffs] Fish?
315
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:35,394
David. How are you?
Good to see you.
316
00:10:35,474 --> 00:10:36,634
- Good you're here, mate.
- Cool.
317
00:10:36,714 --> 00:10:37,434
Good you're here.
318
00:10:37,514 --> 00:10:38,994
- [Chiara] Ashley, hey.
- Hey, Chi.
319
00:10:39,074 --> 00:10:41,674
How are you?
Going good. Yeah. Good. [laughs]
320
00:10:41,754 --> 00:10:44,114
Hi. Too busy to say hello to
your first lesbian girlfriend.
321
00:10:44,194 --> 00:10:45,954
- Oh, sorry, Chi. How are you?
- Hello!
322
00:10:46,034 --> 00:10:47,314
It's just I'm checking on Genre.
323
00:10:47,394 --> 00:10:48,954
It's actually
my first night away.
324
00:10:49,034 --> 00:10:50,474
- Shondra?
- Genre.
325
00:10:50,554 --> 00:10:52,954
- Uh-huh.
- It means 'origin' or 'kind'.
326
00:10:53,034 --> 00:10:55,194
Oh. And that is a child?
327
00:10:55,274 --> 00:10:56,954
- Yep.
- Oh, congratula...
328
00:10:57,034 --> 00:10:58,114
Fuck, something smells...
329
00:10:58,194 --> 00:10:59,794
Something smells like
a dead mermaid's vagina.
330
00:10:59,874 --> 00:11:03,074
[Laughs] No. I'm David.
I'm Ashley's bloke.
331
00:11:03,154 --> 00:11:04,634
I've just been
at the fish market.
332
00:11:04,714 --> 00:11:06,434
Oh. All good.
Don't need to hug right now.
333
00:11:06,514 --> 00:11:07,714
We're gonna get
a little drinkie. Please.
334
00:11:07,794 --> 00:11:09,514
- That'd be a good idea.
- Go to the bar.
335
00:11:09,594 --> 00:11:12,514
Very handsome. And very smelly.
336
00:11:12,594 --> 00:11:13,834
Yeah.
337
00:11:13,914 --> 00:11:17,074
Anyway, being a mum
is just, like, so full-on.
338
00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:18,314
You have no idea.
339
00:11:18,394 --> 00:11:20,954
Oh, I have some idea.
I had three under five.
340
00:11:21,034 --> 00:11:22,314
- How old is she?
- He.
341
00:11:22,394 --> 00:11:23,794
- 18 months.
- Yeah, um...
342
00:11:23,874 --> 00:11:25,994
It's just, like, you don't
realize how hard it's gonna be
343
00:11:26,074 --> 00:11:27,194
every moment,
you know, every minute.
344
00:11:27,274 --> 00:11:28,954
- Correct.
- What... what do they need?
345
00:11:29,034 --> 00:11:30,394
- Mm-hm.
- How... how much has he eaten?
346
00:11:30,474 --> 00:11:31,954
- Mm-hm.
- Has he slept enough?
347
00:11:32,034 --> 00:11:34,034
It is... It's, like, relentless,
you know.
348
00:11:34,114 --> 00:11:36,954
You... you only have one, though.
You've just got the one.
349
00:11:37,034 --> 00:11:39,074
He's a toddler, though.
And a boy.
350
00:11:39,154 --> 00:11:41,274
So I'm... I'm really
in the trenches.
351
00:11:41,354 --> 00:11:44,754
I have three actual boys -
13, 11 and 8.
352
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:46,954
I mean, I've got trench foot,
trench mouth and dysentery.
353
00:11:47,034 --> 00:11:48,794
I'm in the trenches.
I think you've forgotten
354
00:11:49,034 --> 00:11:50,434
how hard toddlers are.
355
00:11:50,514 --> 00:11:52,594
Are you on crack?
'Cause I'm considering it.
356
00:11:52,674 --> 00:11:55,754
And you know who I could
buy it from? My 11-year-old.
357
00:11:55,834 --> 00:11:56,834
[Gordon] Ashy.
358
00:11:56,914 --> 00:11:58,074
- Oh, hi.
- [Gordon] Hey.
359
00:11:58,154 --> 00:11:59,594
- Hi, Gordie. [Laughs]
- Hey.
360
00:11:59,674 --> 00:12:01,034
[Ashley] There he is.
Happy birthday.
361
00:12:01,114 --> 00:12:03,434
Hey, thank you.
Thanks for coming.
362
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:05,594
Thank you so much
for inviting us.
363
00:12:05,674 --> 00:12:06,914
Yeah, of course.
364
00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:08,114
Is that salmon?
Uh, hey, man.
365
00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:10,194
Yeah, I think, yep, it is.
366
00:12:10,274 --> 00:12:11,834
Hm. It's not fresh, I tell ya.
367
00:12:11,914 --> 00:12:12,994
- Is it not?
- Nuh. Uh-uh.
368
00:12:13,074 --> 00:12:14,674
Doesn't matter.
Just say happy birthday, babe.
369
00:12:14,754 --> 00:12:16,234
- Sorry. Happy birthday, mate.
- Yeah, thanks, mate.
370
00:12:16,314 --> 00:12:17,394
- Appreciate it.
- Oh.
371
00:12:17,474 --> 00:12:18,634
- [Gordon] Oh!
- Oh, no, no, no.
372
00:12:18,714 --> 00:12:20,594
- Come on. That's enough.
- Oh, my God! Oh!
373
00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:22,234
I can smell that now.
You're right.
374
00:12:22,314 --> 00:12:24,114
- That's off, isn't it?
- Who does your fish?
375
00:12:24,194 --> 00:12:25,634
- Did you eat this?
- Oh, it's okay.
376
00:12:25,714 --> 00:12:27,954
I could eat a day-old prawn
out of a dirty ashtray.
377
00:12:28,034 --> 00:12:28,954
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
378
00:12:29,034 --> 00:12:30,194
- Iron gut?
- Yeah.
379
00:12:30,274 --> 00:12:31,234
- Feel it.
- Ha-ha!
380
00:12:31,314 --> 00:12:32,434
- No, feel it.
- It's all right.
381
00:12:32,514 --> 00:12:33,954
He can't.
He's got no free hands.
382
00:12:34,034 --> 00:12:36,074
Throw that out.
It's disgus... It's off.
383
00:12:36,154 --> 00:12:37,674
Can I just say,
384
00:12:37,754 --> 00:12:39,954
I think it's really sweet
you guys have reconnected.
385
00:12:40,034 --> 00:12:41,234
Thanks.
386
00:12:41,314 --> 00:12:42,954
I'm still really close to my ex.
387
00:12:43,034 --> 00:12:44,674
Yeah, right. [Sniffs]
388
00:12:44,754 --> 00:12:46,954
I'm sorry. That... that salmon's
really hanging around, isn't it?
389
00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:48,074
- [Ashley] Yes.
- That's terrible.
390
00:12:48,154 --> 00:12:50,394
You know what?
Hey, just, you circulate.
391
00:12:50,474 --> 00:12:52,194
Got lots of people to talk to,
birthday boy.
392
00:12:52,274 --> 00:12:53,394
- I'll find you later.
- Okay.
393
00:12:53,474 --> 00:12:55,034
- Let's have a drink. Come on.
- Good to see you.
394
00:12:55,114 --> 00:12:56,954
- Good to see you.
- Wanna try some of your beers.
395
00:12:57,034 --> 00:12:58,554
- Yeah, all right. Yeah, do!
- Yeah.
396
00:13:01,034 --> 00:13:02,954
I'm saying
you got big balls, cunt!
397
00:13:03,034 --> 00:13:05,514
- Shut up, mate.
- Big balls!
398
00:13:05,594 --> 00:13:06,954
Still alive or...
399
00:13:07,034 --> 00:13:09,954
S-sorry Chi. It's just...
he usually goes down early.
400
00:13:10,034 --> 00:13:11,394
- No, no.
- Chi, can you not?
401
00:13:11,474 --> 00:13:13,994
I'm sure he's great, but no one
wants to talk about your kid.
402
00:13:14,074 --> 00:13:14,994
- You're really boring now.
- What?
403
00:13:15,074 --> 00:13:16,594
You've forgotten
how to be at a party.
404
00:13:16,674 --> 00:13:20,034
- Ask me a fucking question.
- Oh, sorry. Fuck.
405
00:13:20,114 --> 00:13:21,794
Um, okay.
406
00:13:23,034 --> 00:13:24,274
[Exhales] How are you?
407
00:13:24,354 --> 00:13:26,954
Oh, thanks for asking.
I'm really good. I've got ADHD.
408
00:13:27,034 --> 00:13:28,554
- You've always had that.
- No, that's new.
409
00:13:28,634 --> 00:13:29,354
[Megan] Hmm.
410
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:30,954
Uh, Andre and I
got back together.
411
00:13:31,034 --> 00:13:32,194
- What?
- Which was great.
412
00:13:32,274 --> 00:13:35,554
Until it wasn't.
And, uh, now we are open.
413
00:13:35,634 --> 00:13:36,714
- Holy shit!
- Yeah.
414
00:13:36,794 --> 00:13:37,874
- Really?
- Yeah.
415
00:13:37,954 --> 00:13:40,194
Well, what's that like?
I mean, Rumi's pretty curious.
416
00:13:40,274 --> 00:13:42,874
It's pretty great,
actually. Yeah.
417
00:13:42,954 --> 00:13:44,874
And the hardest thing about
having an open relationship
418
00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:45,954
is organizing child care.
419
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,514
Hmm! Oh, my God.
Tell me about it.
420
00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:49,714
- If I just want an hour...
- Stop.
421
00:13:49,794 --> 00:13:51,314
- Just one hour...
- I'm telling you about it.
422
00:13:51,394 --> 00:13:53,074
You're listening. You've got
your listening ears on.
423
00:13:53,154 --> 00:13:55,954
[Guests laugh and chatter]
424
00:13:56,034 --> 00:13:57,754
- What are you drinking there?
- [Guest] Uh...
425
00:13:57,834 --> 00:14:00,154
Well, I mean,
they are gonna be bankrupt
426
00:14:00,234 --> 00:14:01,234
when you're done with them.
427
00:14:01,314 --> 00:14:03,074
[Laughs] I am all in.
428
00:14:03,154 --> 00:14:04,634
You have a good night, okay?
429
00:14:04,714 --> 00:14:06,474
- Thanks, Tobes. Thanks again.
- Knock 'em dead.
430
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,834
- Stop it! [Laughs]
- [Ashley chuckles]
431
00:14:08,914 --> 00:14:11,274
Oh, wait, wait, wait. Sorry.
Can I just fix that?
432
00:14:12,074 --> 00:14:14,234
Hi. You must be Chelsea. Hello.
433
00:14:14,314 --> 00:14:16,594
Hello! Um, what's your name?
434
00:14:16,674 --> 00:14:17,674
Ashley.
435
00:14:17,754 --> 00:14:19,594
Ashley. Hello, Ashley.
436
00:14:19,674 --> 00:14:21,794
Thanks so much
for organizing this.
437
00:14:21,874 --> 00:14:23,434
Oh, yeah. Of course.
438
00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:25,154
- [Woman] Chelsea!
- Hi, darling. Hi.
439
00:14:25,234 --> 00:14:26,594
- [Chelsea laughs]
- [Woman] Nice to see you.
440
00:14:26,674 --> 00:14:29,634
Yeah. It's so good
to see Heavy again.
441
00:14:29,714 --> 00:14:31,194
- Ohh. Good.
- Yeah.
442
00:14:31,274 --> 00:14:33,594
We always got on so well.
[Laughs]
443
00:14:33,674 --> 00:14:34,834
[Laughs awkwardly]
444
00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:37,794
- Hmm.
- [Chelsea] Hmm!
445
00:14:39,034 --> 00:14:40,954
Did Dawn, um, come up?
446
00:14:41,034 --> 00:14:43,554
Uh, no. No. She was unable to.
447
00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:44,674
Oh, shame.
448
00:14:44,754 --> 00:14:47,114
Oh, my gosh. Stop it!
449
00:14:47,194 --> 00:14:49,234
- Get out of here. [Laughs]
- [Woman] You stop it.
450
00:14:49,314 --> 00:14:51,954
I was there when Brian died.
451
00:14:52,034 --> 00:14:53,034
Yeah. [Laughs awkwardly]
452
00:14:53,114 --> 00:14:54,634
Yeah, when he passed away,
I was there.
453
00:14:54,714 --> 00:14:56,434
- It was terrible.
- Oh, no, it's... Yeah.
454
00:14:56,514 --> 00:15:00,034
Such a shock.
Like, for everyone.
455
00:15:00,114 --> 00:15:02,434
- Yeah. I'm sure that was. Yeah.
- Yeah.
456
00:15:02,514 --> 00:15:04,434
So, I was, uh, actually there.
457
00:15:04,514 --> 00:15:07,954
Like, I was physically there
next to Gordon.
458
00:15:08,034 --> 00:15:09,354
- Oh, really?
- Yes.
459
00:15:09,434 --> 00:15:10,954
'Cause I was his girlfriend.
460
00:15:11,034 --> 00:15:12,194
- Oh. Oh, yes.
- Yeah.
461
00:15:12,274 --> 00:15:13,194
- Okay. Yeah.
- Yeah.
462
00:15:13,274 --> 00:15:14,634
- At the time.
- That makes total sense.
463
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:15,954
Yeah. We were
boyfriend-girlfriend.
464
00:15:16,034 --> 00:15:17,114
[Laughs falsely]
Anyway, I'm sorry.
465
00:15:17,194 --> 00:15:19,354
If you'll excuse me,
I have to go feed the dog.
466
00:15:19,434 --> 00:15:20,954
- Oh, Colin's here?
- Yeah.
467
00:15:21,034 --> 00:15:23,954
Yeah, he's in the office because
someone's allergic, apparently.
468
00:15:24,034 --> 00:15:25,714
Oh, are they?
Yeah. Well, I can...
469
00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:27,194
You're busy. I can feed him.
470
00:15:27,274 --> 00:15:28,954
Oh, no, that's fine.
He needs medicine.
471
00:15:29,034 --> 00:15:30,154
I know.
472
00:15:30,234 --> 00:15:32,074
Yeah, but he's just
a bit nervous.
473
00:15:32,154 --> 00:15:34,794
He doesn't... he doesn't
take food from just anyone.
474
00:15:34,874 --> 00:15:36,954
I'm not just anyone.
475
00:15:37,034 --> 00:15:38,274
No. Of course not.
476
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:40,994
- You are Ashley.
- That's it.
477
00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:42,274
- Yeah.
- Yes.
478
00:15:42,354 --> 00:15:43,954
- Anyway, have a good night!
- Oh, you too.
479
00:15:44,034 --> 00:15:45,274
- Nice to meet you.
- Uh-huh.
480
00:15:47,834 --> 00:15:49,954
# It's time to let, let go... #
481
00:15:50,034 --> 00:15:52,554
- # Let go, let go... #
- [Sighs]
482
00:15:52,634 --> 00:15:54,354
# Let go
It's time to let... #
483
00:15:54,434 --> 00:15:56,034
- [Toilet roll holder thuds]
- Fucking great.
484
00:15:56,114 --> 00:15:57,594
- # It's time to let go... #
- Ashy, is that you?
485
00:15:57,674 --> 00:16:01,114
[Gasps] Meggles. Oh, my God.
This is rough, hey?
486
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:02,274
- Is it?
- Yeah.
487
00:16:02,354 --> 00:16:03,994
- Can I have some toilet paper?
- Hm.
488
00:16:04,074 --> 00:16:07,114
Boo, I just met Chelsea,
Gordon's new girlfriend.
489
00:16:07,194 --> 00:16:08,394
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
490
00:16:08,474 --> 00:16:10,954
She's so fucking beautiful,
I want to kill myself.
491
00:16:11,034 --> 00:16:12,194
I bet she isn't.
492
00:16:12,274 --> 00:16:15,754
She is. And she's, like,
fucking crazy confident.
493
00:16:15,834 --> 00:16:19,074
She's like a hot robot
of an old movie star.
494
00:16:19,154 --> 00:16:21,794
I look like a fucking
homeless person next to her.
495
00:16:21,874 --> 00:16:23,954
A person currently
experiencing houselessness?
496
00:16:24,034 --> 00:16:26,954
Not even.
Just a full homeless person.
497
00:16:27,034 --> 00:16:28,234
- Oh, shit.
- Yeah.
498
00:16:28,314 --> 00:16:31,234
And her eye contact
was, like, fucking crazy.
499
00:16:31,314 --> 00:16:33,274
She was, like, staring
at the back of my head.
500
00:16:33,354 --> 00:16:34,994
I felt like
all my clothes fell off.
501
00:16:35,074 --> 00:16:36,194
Jesus.
502
00:16:36,274 --> 00:16:38,954
I don't even think
she's ever heard of me.
503
00:16:39,034 --> 00:16:40,234
No?!
504
00:16:40,314 --> 00:16:41,594
- Yeah.
- [Door opens]
505
00:16:41,674 --> 00:16:44,634
Do number twos at home, thanks.
I don't want to hear it.
506
00:16:44,714 --> 00:16:45,714
Mum?
507
00:16:45,794 --> 00:16:47,034
[Lynelle] Oh, there you are.
508
00:16:47,114 --> 00:16:48,834
What the fuck?
509
00:16:48,914 --> 00:16:52,074
Oh, they discontinued
this lipstick. I'm devastated.
510
00:16:52,154 --> 00:16:55,634
Mum, it is so inappropriate
that you are here.
511
00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:58,474
I could say the same,
Ashley Marie.
512
00:16:58,554 --> 00:17:00,634
No, you couldn't,
because he invited me.
513
00:17:00,714 --> 00:17:01,714
What are you doing here?
514
00:17:01,794 --> 00:17:04,314
Well, Megan posted
on her Insta stories.
515
00:17:04,394 --> 00:17:07,154
- [Toilet flushes]
- Hello, Lynelle.
516
00:17:08,474 --> 00:17:10,194
I didn't realize
you still followed me.
517
00:17:10,274 --> 00:17:12,154
Oh, hello, Megan.
518
00:17:13,234 --> 00:17:14,754
How's your dad?
519
00:17:15,554 --> 00:17:17,554
Why don't you return
his calls and find out?
520
00:17:17,634 --> 00:17:19,674
I don't think
there's much more to say.
521
00:17:19,754 --> 00:17:20,834
He doesn't feel that way.
522
00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:21,834
[Sighs]
523
00:17:21,914 --> 00:17:24,394
[Lynelle] Has anybody met
Gordon's new girlfriend?
524
00:17:24,474 --> 00:17:28,954
She's so elegant,
and her skin is amazing.
525
00:17:29,034 --> 00:17:32,834
Oh, you never stood a chance
with all your sun damage.
526
00:17:32,914 --> 00:17:34,234
Mum, it's freckles.
527
00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:35,954
They're freckles
when you're a child, darling.
528
00:17:36,034 --> 00:17:37,874
At your age, it's sun damage.
529
00:17:39,234 --> 00:17:41,994
# Yeah, yeah, yeah-hey #
530
00:17:42,074 --> 00:17:43,834
I nearly went with
Trout of This World.
531
00:17:43,914 --> 00:17:44,874
[Chiara] Uh-huh.
532
00:17:44,954 --> 00:17:46,594
But actually
I've ended up with...
533
00:17:47,754 --> 00:17:49,794
"Benefit of the Trout."
534
00:17:49,874 --> 00:17:51,034
[Laughs] Yeah.
535
00:17:51,114 --> 00:17:53,874
Did you consider, um,
Shadow of a Trout?
536
00:17:53,954 --> 00:17:56,114
Mmm. But... no.
537
00:17:56,194 --> 00:17:57,554
- [Alistair] Out and A-trout?
- Uh-uh.
538
00:17:57,634 --> 00:17:59,074
- [Chiara] Trout of Control?
- Uhh.
539
00:17:59,154 --> 00:18:00,194
- Trout for a Duck?
- Mm.
540
00:18:00,274 --> 00:18:02,114
[Chiara] Trout, Trout,
Let It All Out?
541
00:18:02,194 --> 00:18:04,314
- No Diggity, No Trout?
- Uh-uh.
542
00:18:04,394 --> 00:18:05,754
I don't know what that is.
543
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,074
[Chiara] Standing
on the Trout-side Looking In?
544
00:18:09,274 --> 00:18:10,954
You've already done that hand.
545
00:18:11,034 --> 00:18:12,034
[Alistair] Yeah,
that's done that.
546
00:18:12,114 --> 00:18:13,274
- [Chiara] You did that one.
- Yeah.
547
00:18:13,354 --> 00:18:15,114
Yeah, that's well clean.
548
00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:16,474
[Dance music]
549
00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:17,754
- Gordon?
- Present.
550
00:18:17,834 --> 00:18:18,954
- Sorry. [laughs]
- Hey.
551
00:18:19,034 --> 00:18:19,954
Hi.
552
00:18:20,034 --> 00:18:21,714
Um, sorry,
there's no one at the bar,
553
00:18:21,794 --> 00:18:25,474
and Mum would like
some chablis or albarin?o.
554
00:18:25,554 --> 00:18:26,634
Lynelle is here?
555
00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:27,834
Of course.
556
00:18:27,914 --> 00:18:29,274
Yeah, of course she is.
557
00:18:29,354 --> 00:18:32,514
Um, I might have. Do you
want to... I'll just check.
558
00:18:32,594 --> 00:18:33,594
[Box thuds]
559
00:18:36,314 --> 00:18:37,634
Um...
560
00:18:37,714 --> 00:18:39,394
Ooh. Chilly.
561
00:18:39,474 --> 00:18:41,354
- Yeah, it's nice, isn't it?
- Mmm.
562
00:18:41,434 --> 00:18:43,474
You, uh, having fun
at your old mate's party?
563
00:18:43,554 --> 00:18:44,274
I am.
564
00:18:44,354 --> 00:18:45,754
Good. Told you
we could be mates.
565
00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:47,754
- I know we could be mates.
- Door's closing, door's closing.
566
00:18:47,834 --> 00:18:49,194
- Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
- [Door slams]
567
00:18:49,274 --> 00:18:50,314
- [Timer buzzes]
- [Gordon] Fuck it.
568
00:18:50,394 --> 00:18:51,954
- [Ashley] Oh!
- Oh, sorry, it's on a timer.
569
00:18:52,034 --> 00:18:53,114
[Ashley] Oh, my God,
you're joking.
570
00:18:53,194 --> 00:18:54,914
[Gordon]
No. It happens six times a day.
571
00:18:54,994 --> 00:18:55,954
It's fine. I'll just text Chi.
572
00:18:56,034 --> 00:18:57,754
- [Ashley] Where's your phone?
- I left it here.
573
00:18:57,834 --> 00:18:58,834
[Objects clatter]
574
00:18:58,914 --> 00:19:00,194
[Gordon] Uh, somewhere.
575
00:19:01,074 --> 00:19:02,634
Um... [Speaks indistinctly]
576
00:19:02,714 --> 00:19:04,354
- Hey, there you are.
- [Ashley] Sorry.
577
00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:06,994
# Can you make me feel
all right? #
578
00:19:07,074 --> 00:19:09,354
# Tonight... #
579
00:19:09,434 --> 00:19:10,754
[Lips smack]
580
00:19:10,834 --> 00:19:12,994
# I'll dream forever... #
581
00:19:13,074 --> 00:19:14,954
[Phone chimes]
582
00:19:15,034 --> 00:19:16,594
# Midnight... #
583
00:19:16,674 --> 00:19:17,954
- [Ashley laughs nervously]
- Yeah.
584
00:19:18,034 --> 00:19:20,874
[Dance music continues]
585
00:19:20,954 --> 00:19:22,194
Well, around the base
of the beak,
586
00:19:22,274 --> 00:19:24,634
if you press through from
the other side with your thumbs
587
00:19:24,714 --> 00:19:28,114
and you just push it through,
then the beak fully comes out.
588
00:19:28,194 --> 00:19:30,954
Octopuses have beaks?
589
00:19:31,034 --> 00:19:32,754
Yeah, and if you bake them
for an hour,
590
00:19:32,834 --> 00:19:34,234
they taste like a chip.
591
00:19:34,314 --> 00:19:35,394
Do you know that octopuses
592
00:19:35,474 --> 00:19:37,714
are at least as intelligent
as Labradors?
593
00:19:37,794 --> 00:19:38,994
Fuck off.
594
00:19:39,074 --> 00:19:40,714
I'd never eat a Labrador.
595
00:19:40,794 --> 00:19:42,274
You ever been to China?
596
00:19:42,354 --> 00:19:44,154
You get what you're given
there, mate.
597
00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:45,154
- I haven't.
- [Phone chimes]
598
00:19:45,234 --> 00:19:46,474
But I have eaten
some weird things.
599
00:19:46,554 --> 00:19:48,034
Oh! Gordy's locked
in the cool room.
600
00:19:48,114 --> 00:19:49,314
- [Alistair] Is he?
- Yep.
601
00:19:49,394 --> 00:19:51,114
I'm gonna have to go.
I'll leave you here.
602
00:19:51,194 --> 00:19:52,314
No, I'll take care of that.
603
00:19:52,394 --> 00:19:53,714
- No, no, that's...
- No, no, I insist.
604
00:19:53,794 --> 00:19:55,634
- No, I insist. It's my phone.
- I insist.
605
00:19:55,714 --> 00:19:57,034
- He might need me.
- It's all good.
606
00:19:57,114 --> 00:19:58,834
- Chi, I'm putting my foot down.
- Are ya?
607
00:19:58,914 --> 00:20:00,274
- I'm insisting.
- Are ya?
608
00:20:00,354 --> 00:20:02,954
- I've eaten, uh, crocodile.
- Mm-hm. Yeah.
609
00:20:03,034 --> 00:20:04,114
- Frogs.
- Oh.
610
00:20:04,194 --> 00:20:07,274
- Um, tarantula in Cambodia.
- Oh. Mm-hm.
611
00:20:07,354 --> 00:20:08,434
Which is like a delicacy.
612
00:20:08,514 --> 00:20:09,754
- A horse, by mistake.
- Oh.
613
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:11,954
That's... [Laughs]
That's actually a funny story.
614
00:20:12,034 --> 00:20:13,074
[Gasps] Is it? Go on, then.
615
00:20:13,154 --> 00:20:14,874
Well, I didn't think
it was a horse.
616
00:20:14,954 --> 00:20:15,954
- Yep.
- But it was.
617
00:20:16,754 --> 00:20:18,954
And then that's the end
of the story, is it?
618
00:20:19,034 --> 00:20:20,274
Yep.
619
00:20:21,674 --> 00:20:24,594
[Door clunks and rumbles]
620
00:20:25,634 --> 00:20:26,994
Ahh, I see.
621
00:20:27,074 --> 00:20:28,674
No, you didn't. Nothing to see.
622
00:20:28,754 --> 00:20:30,874
Oh, no, I do.
I've got eyes in my head.
623
00:20:30,954 --> 00:20:32,034
- [Gordon] No, you don't.
- Hi.
624
00:20:32,114 --> 00:20:35,674
You okay, Ash? All alone here
in the dark with Gordon?
625
00:20:35,754 --> 00:20:36,794
Oh, God, yeah.
626
00:20:36,874 --> 00:20:38,274
- Oh. That's nice.
- Cool.
627
00:20:38,354 --> 00:20:39,954
Just met your boyfriend.
628
00:20:40,034 --> 00:20:41,594
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
629
00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:42,834
Doesn't smell great,
630
00:20:42,914 --> 00:20:45,834
but at least he's boring
and licks his fingers a lot.
631
00:20:45,914 --> 00:20:47,594
- Okay.
- Yeah.
632
00:20:47,674 --> 00:20:48,474
Cool, cool.
633
00:20:48,554 --> 00:20:50,954
- After you.
- Thank you so much.
634
00:20:51,034 --> 00:20:52,314
That's all right, Ash.
635
00:20:52,394 --> 00:20:55,514
- [Dance music]
- [Guests chatter]
636
00:20:55,594 --> 00:20:59,074
I mean, men have been playing
second fiddle for too long.
637
00:20:59,154 --> 00:21:00,954
- Yeah, right.
- They've lost their voice.
638
00:21:01,034 --> 00:21:02,834
Yeah, sure, I guess.
639
00:21:02,914 --> 00:21:04,234
And that's not right.
640
00:21:04,314 --> 00:21:06,954
- Big, strong alpha like you.
- Mm-hm.
641
00:21:07,034 --> 00:21:08,914
[Giggles]
Do you have a girlfriend?
642
00:21:08,994 --> 00:21:10,954
Yeah, Carmen. It's online.
643
00:21:11,034 --> 00:21:12,954
But we haven't met yet.
But, uh...
644
00:21:13,034 --> 00:21:16,514
All the more reason to establish
the rules of engagement.
645
00:21:16,594 --> 00:21:17,674
Yeah, right.
646
00:21:17,754 --> 00:21:20,954
You need to say,
"I'm the man of the house."
647
00:21:21,034 --> 00:21:21,954
Yeah, right.
648
00:21:22,034 --> 00:21:23,154
Say it!
649
00:21:24,514 --> 00:21:25,274
What?
650
00:21:25,354 --> 00:21:27,314
Say, "I'm the man of the house."
651
00:21:27,394 --> 00:21:28,994
I'm the man of the house.
652
00:21:29,074 --> 00:21:30,954
- Again.
- Again.
653
00:21:31,034 --> 00:21:31,954
No.
654
00:21:32,034 --> 00:21:34,034
Say, "I'm the man
of the house" again.
655
00:21:34,114 --> 00:21:35,954
I'm the man of the house again.
656
00:21:36,034 --> 00:21:37,034
No.
657
00:21:37,114 --> 00:21:38,394
[Tapping on microphone]
658
00:21:38,474 --> 00:21:39,274
No?
659
00:21:39,354 --> 00:21:43,114
Everyone, if I can
have your attention.
660
00:21:43,194 --> 00:21:44,954
- Thank you.
- [Ashley speaks indistinctly]
661
00:21:45,034 --> 00:21:46,954
- [Chelsea] Bit of shush.
- Hey, birthday boy. Speech time.
662
00:21:47,034 --> 00:21:48,034
- Hey.
- A bit of shush, please.
663
00:21:48,114 --> 00:21:49,514
- Should probably go over there.
- That's okay.
664
00:21:49,594 --> 00:21:53,874
I, um... I first met Gordon
18 months ago
665
00:21:53,954 --> 00:21:58,674
when we held a work function
here at this very brewery.
666
00:21:58,754 --> 00:22:02,394
And so I met this brew head
or head brew man.
667
00:22:02,474 --> 00:22:04,394
- Or whatever it's called.
- [Guests laugh]
668
00:22:04,474 --> 00:22:09,914
And he says to me, "I am going
to kiss you in six minutes."
669
00:22:09,994 --> 00:22:11,354
- [Woman] Oh, no!
- [Man] Ooh-hoo!
670
00:22:11,434 --> 00:22:14,874
Right? I know! Outrageous.
671
00:22:14,954 --> 00:22:18,074
And I thought, yeah, well,
you know, that's very forward.
672
00:22:18,154 --> 00:22:19,834
It's a bit intense, actually.
673
00:22:19,914 --> 00:22:21,954
But then... he did.
674
00:22:22,034 --> 00:22:23,954
- [Guests laugh]
- It's a good move.
675
00:22:24,034 --> 00:22:28,634
And then I thought, "Well, there
is a man who follows through!"
676
00:22:28,714 --> 00:22:30,754
[Laughs uproariously]
677
00:22:30,834 --> 00:22:35,874
And I thought, "Ah! He's single,
no kids, not fat. Unicorn!"
678
00:22:35,954 --> 00:22:38,194
[Laughs]
679
00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:40,554
Oh, my gosh, she's so funny.
680
00:22:40,634 --> 00:22:43,314
[Chelsea] Um, no,
seriously, guys.
681
00:22:43,394 --> 00:22:45,874
Gordon, you are
a very hardworking
682
00:22:45,954 --> 00:22:47,434
and loyal life partner.
683
00:22:47,514 --> 00:22:51,714
And... I know, we can't always
agree what to watch on TV.
684
00:22:51,794 --> 00:22:55,554
But you usually give in
and we watch my shows! [Laughs]
685
00:22:55,634 --> 00:22:56,954
[Guests laugh]
686
00:22:57,034 --> 00:22:59,474
I mean, what more
could a girl ask for? [Laughs]
687
00:22:59,554 --> 00:23:02,674
Except perhaps a rock
on my finger. Hint, hint.
688
00:23:02,754 --> 00:23:03,874
Got it. Got it.
689
00:23:03,954 --> 00:23:04,714
[Chelsea] Got it!
690
00:23:04,794 --> 00:23:06,034
- Love you, Gooby.
- [Ashley laughs falsely]
691
00:23:06,114 --> 00:23:08,714
So let's all raise a glass
692
00:23:08,794 --> 00:23:13,954
and wish a very happy birthday
to my Gooby, Gordon.
693
00:23:14,034 --> 00:23:14,994
[Guests] To Gordon!
694
00:23:15,074 --> 00:23:17,954
- Happy birthday!
- [Guests] Happy birthday.
695
00:23:18,034 --> 00:23:19,754
- [Brett] Happy birthday.
- Happy birthday.
696
00:23:19,834 --> 00:23:21,194
[Alistair] Come on.
I just need a second.
697
00:23:21,274 --> 00:23:22,954
There's no...
There's no speeches.
698
00:23:23,034 --> 00:23:25,034
Heavy, Heavy, Heavy.
No more speeches.
699
00:23:25,114 --> 00:23:26,074
- Just let...
- Okay.
700
00:23:26,154 --> 00:23:27,954
..me say some words.
Come on, Chels.
701
00:23:28,034 --> 00:23:29,194
- [Feedback whines]
- Give it to me.
702
00:23:29,274 --> 00:23:30,954
I'll introduce you. Oh, my God!
703
00:23:31,034 --> 00:23:32,154
Hey, look at that.
704
00:23:32,234 --> 00:23:35,754
Everyone, this is, um, Alistair,
Gordon's brother!
705
00:23:35,834 --> 00:23:36,954
- Whoo!
- [Guests cheer]
706
00:23:37,034 --> 00:23:38,714
Hand it over. Fuckin' hell,
707
00:23:38,794 --> 00:23:40,394
I had to work hard for that one.
708
00:23:40,474 --> 00:23:41,194
[Mouths words]
709
00:23:41,274 --> 00:23:42,234
[Alistair] Uh, firstly,
710
00:23:42,314 --> 00:23:43,914
a big thanks to Chels
711
00:23:43,994 --> 00:23:45,874
for putting on this do
for Flash.
712
00:23:45,954 --> 00:23:47,754
Round of applause, everyone.
Come on!
713
00:23:47,834 --> 00:23:48,954
[Guests cheer]
714
00:23:49,034 --> 00:23:51,954
What do you reckon, eh?
She spared no expense.
715
00:23:52,034 --> 00:23:53,474
Especially since
she got the venue
716
00:23:53,554 --> 00:23:55,834
and all the piss for free.
[Laughs]
717
00:23:55,914 --> 00:23:58,914
- [Guests laugh]
- Oh, yeah.
718
00:23:58,994 --> 00:24:00,114
Uh, no, no, no.
719
00:24:00,194 --> 00:24:02,234
But, look, in all seriousness...
720
00:24:03,034 --> 00:24:04,234
..it's just so great
721
00:24:04,314 --> 00:24:06,754
that Flash has just
finally found the right girl.
722
00:24:06,834 --> 00:24:09,954
You just know when two people
are meant to be together
723
00:24:10,034 --> 00:24:13,514
and they just fully...
they fully get each other.
724
00:24:13,594 --> 00:24:16,754
And there's just no doubt
about it or anything.
725
00:24:16,834 --> 00:24:19,314
You know, I mean,
tonight he's brought Ash.
726
00:24:19,394 --> 00:24:20,154
No. Um...
727
00:24:20,234 --> 00:24:21,994
Chelsea's really cool with it.
728
00:24:22,074 --> 00:24:24,794
It's just such clean, honest,
729
00:24:24,874 --> 00:24:28,594
open, transparent love.
730
00:24:28,674 --> 00:24:30,874
And everyone's really,
really cool about it.
731
00:24:30,954 --> 00:24:34,514
Uh, okay. All right.
Well, that's about all from me.
732
00:24:34,594 --> 00:24:37,954
Oh, no.
Some words of advice, Flash.
733
00:24:38,034 --> 00:24:42,794
As our dear departed dad said
to me on my wedding day...
734
00:24:44,034 --> 00:24:46,874
..when the river runs red,
take the dirt road instead.
735
00:24:46,954 --> 00:24:48,194
- Okay. Thank you.
- Am I right?
736
00:24:48,274 --> 00:24:49,594
- [Laughs]
- [Alistair] Yeah. That's right.
737
00:24:49,674 --> 00:24:51,634
- [Chelsea] Thank you, Heavy.
- That's right!
738
00:24:51,714 --> 00:24:53,874
Let's fucking party!
739
00:24:53,954 --> 00:24:56,954
[Guests cheer]
740
00:24:57,034 --> 00:24:58,874
- Cheers, mate.
- Cheers, mate.
741
00:24:58,954 --> 00:25:00,474
What a speech.
742
00:25:00,554 --> 00:25:03,274
[Disco music]
743
00:25:09,314 --> 00:25:12,514
# I don't wanna hear about
that kind of day you had #
744
00:25:12,594 --> 00:25:16,314
# Or what happened on the job
that made you mad #
745
00:25:16,394 --> 00:25:20,194
# Tonight I don't wanna
just stay at home #
746
00:25:20,274 --> 00:25:24,074
# Let's find a little club
where we can be alone... #
747
00:25:24,154 --> 00:25:25,874
Have you said it?
748
00:25:25,954 --> 00:25:28,114
Like, "I'm the man
of the house."
749
00:25:28,194 --> 00:25:31,234
I don't have to say it.
I am the man of the house.
750
00:25:31,314 --> 00:25:32,514
Oh.
751
00:25:33,634 --> 00:25:34,954
Yes.
752
00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:36,594
Ooh, I felt that.
753
00:25:37,674 --> 00:25:38,834
You are.
754
00:25:38,914 --> 00:25:40,754
Yeah, I know.
755
00:25:42,394 --> 00:25:43,234
Well done.
756
00:25:43,314 --> 00:25:46,354
# I feel so romantic #
757
00:25:46,434 --> 00:25:50,314
# I want you to whisper
in my ear sweet... #
758
00:25:50,394 --> 00:25:52,194
I'm going to get you
another drink, Lynelle.
759
00:25:52,274 --> 00:25:54,954
I want that one finished
when I get back.
760
00:25:55,034 --> 00:25:55,994
Okay.
761
00:25:56,074 --> 00:25:59,354
# Dance, dance, dance #
762
00:25:59,434 --> 00:26:03,034
# It's been a while
since we had a good time #
763
00:26:03,114 --> 00:26:04,954
# So much pressure's been... #
764
00:26:05,034 --> 00:26:06,234
You're so...
765
00:26:07,034 --> 00:26:08,194
..elegant and tall!
766
00:26:08,274 --> 00:26:11,954
Ah! Thanks. [Laughs] Ohh.
767
00:26:12,034 --> 00:26:13,674
Is your skin care Korean?
768
00:26:13,754 --> 00:26:14,674
It is!
769
00:26:14,754 --> 00:26:15,954
- It is?
- Yes!
770
00:26:16,034 --> 00:26:18,034
I knew it! I knew it!
771
00:26:18,114 --> 00:26:20,114
[Guest laughs]
772
00:26:25,034 --> 00:26:27,074
- Hey, drunky, your Uber's here.
- Ahh.
773
00:26:27,154 --> 00:26:29,714
- You're not my wife.
- You wish.
774
00:26:29,794 --> 00:26:30,954
No. Is that this way?
775
00:26:31,034 --> 00:26:32,874
- Shall we call it?
- Yeah.
776
00:26:32,954 --> 00:26:35,954
Hey, Gordon, we're gonna
head out. Happy birthday, mate.
777
00:26:36,034 --> 00:26:37,794
Cheers, mate.
778
00:26:37,874 --> 00:26:39,194
Bye.
779
00:26:40,754 --> 00:26:41,954
[Alistair] Flash. Flash.
780
00:26:42,034 --> 00:26:44,354
- [David] Okay, Uberino time.
- [Alistair] Happy birthday.
781
00:26:44,434 --> 00:26:46,954
Actually, I might walk home,
if you don't mind.
782
00:26:47,034 --> 00:26:49,434
- Oh, I'm happy to walk.
- No, no, you Uber. I don't mind.
783
00:26:49,514 --> 00:26:51,874
Hell, no. Let's perambulate.
784
00:26:51,954 --> 00:26:53,074
- [Laughs]
- Okay.
785
00:26:53,154 --> 00:26:54,474
- Bye-bye.
- [Ashley] Mm-hm.
786
00:26:54,554 --> 00:26:57,754
Thanks for coming,
Ashley and David.
787
00:26:57,834 --> 00:26:59,314
[Laughs]
788
00:26:59,394 --> 00:27:01,394
So, I'll just group
all of these over here
789
00:27:01,474 --> 00:27:03,194
so it's easy for when
you empty the recycling.
790
00:27:03,274 --> 00:27:05,034
It's okay, Chels, I'll do that.
I'll do that.
791
00:27:05,114 --> 00:27:06,514
Let's put the cans on this side.
792
00:27:06,594 --> 00:27:08,474
Chelsea, I know
how to clean the bar.
793
00:27:09,714 --> 00:27:10,434
What's wrong?
794
00:27:10,514 --> 00:27:12,634
- Oh, nothing. Sorry.
- Oh.
795
00:27:12,714 --> 00:27:13,954
- You all right?
- Yeah.
796
00:27:14,034 --> 00:27:15,114
Yeah.
797
00:27:15,194 --> 00:27:16,754
Hey, I... I met your ex.
798
00:27:16,834 --> 00:27:17,954
Oh, yeah?
799
00:27:18,034 --> 00:27:20,914
- Yeah. She's sweet.
- Yeah.
800
00:27:20,994 --> 00:27:22,834
- Quirky.
- Yeah.
801
00:27:22,914 --> 00:27:24,274
- Not really your type.
- Nah.
802
00:27:24,354 --> 00:27:26,514
[Laughs] I'm your type.
803
00:27:26,594 --> 00:27:27,954
Yes, you are.
804
00:27:28,034 --> 00:27:29,914
- Did you have fun?
- Yeah.
805
00:27:29,994 --> 00:27:31,314
- Good.
- Mmm.
806
00:27:33,034 --> 00:27:36,674
You deserve good things.
Love you.
807
00:27:36,754 --> 00:27:38,354
I love you.
808
00:27:40,514 --> 00:27:41,474
Ohh.
809
00:27:41,554 --> 00:27:42,914
- Oh, sorry. That was...
- Oh, yuck!
810
00:27:42,994 --> 00:27:44,034
- Yeah. Sorry.
- Yuck, yuck.
811
00:27:44,114 --> 00:27:45,954
- # Don't fuck me over... #
- You all right?
812
00:27:46,034 --> 00:27:47,154
Yeah.
813
00:27:47,234 --> 00:27:49,634
- # Sweet darlin'... #
- It's just yuck.
814
00:27:50,474 --> 00:27:52,074
# 'Cause I am the only... #
815
00:27:52,154 --> 00:27:53,754
[David] So good to
meet those guys.
816
00:27:53,834 --> 00:27:54,954
[Ashley] Yeah.
817
00:27:55,034 --> 00:27:56,514
- Really good people.
- Yeah.
818
00:27:56,594 --> 00:27:59,154
Well, of course they're good
people. You're a good person.
819
00:28:00,034 --> 00:28:01,954
Well, you're the best person.
820
00:28:02,034 --> 00:28:03,154
Thank you.
821
00:28:03,234 --> 00:28:04,514
# Sweet darlin'... #
822
00:28:04,594 --> 00:28:06,314
I know I might be biased,
but still...
823
00:28:06,394 --> 00:28:07,634
# I am the only... #
824
00:28:07,714 --> 00:28:09,274
I think you're
pretty bloody great.
825
00:28:09,354 --> 00:28:11,154
# One you should see... #
826
00:28:11,234 --> 00:28:13,194
Thanks, David.
827
00:28:14,034 --> 00:28:16,114
# Ooh #
828
00:28:20,234 --> 00:28:23,514
# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh #
829
00:28:28,034 --> 00:28:31,034
# Don't fuck me over #
830
00:28:32,154 --> 00:28:34,634
# Sweet darlin' #
831
00:28:35,434 --> 00:28:38,554
# 'Cause I am the only
832
00:28:39,714 --> 00:28:41,834
# One you should see #
59630
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