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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,140 --> 00:00:03,140 ♪♪ 2 00:00:03,175 --> 00:00:04,795 Joe: Surprise. 3 00:00:04,832 --> 00:00:07,182 When something unexpected happens, 4 00:00:07,214 --> 00:00:09,844 you can't predict how you will respond. 5 00:00:09,871 --> 00:00:14,051 You might grab your best friend and give them a kiss 6 00:00:14,083 --> 00:00:16,643 or look for the nearest medium-sized object 7 00:00:16,671 --> 00:00:18,471 to throw at their head. 8 00:00:18,501 --> 00:00:19,671 Keys! No! 9 00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:21,679 Oh, I don't -- I don't like that. 10 00:00:21,711 --> 00:00:23,851 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.It's okay. 11 00:00:23,885 --> 00:00:26,125 How'd you make out at the coin store? 12 00:00:26,164 --> 00:00:28,374 Like a boss. 13 00:00:28,407 --> 00:00:31,167 So this is nine copies of the key plus the original. 14 00:00:31,203 --> 00:00:32,653 I'm bummed I can't be there. 15 00:00:32,687 --> 00:00:34,477 You want anything else? 16 00:00:34,517 --> 00:00:36,827 Mm...surprise me. 17 00:00:36,864 --> 00:00:38,144 Mm. 18 00:00:40,661 --> 00:00:42,531 It'll be $12.99. 19 00:00:47,323 --> 00:00:48,363 Okay. 20 00:00:48,393 --> 00:00:56,853 ♪♪ 21 00:00:56,884 --> 00:01:05,384 ♪♪ 22 00:01:05,410 --> 00:01:07,450 [ Balloon squeaks ] 23 00:01:07,481 --> 00:01:16,421 ♪♪ 24 00:01:16,455 --> 00:01:20,245 On the 65th day, there were beans, as promised. 25 00:01:23,255 --> 00:01:25,525 So for the past week and a half, 26 00:01:25,568 --> 00:01:28,358 I've been going around to friends and family 27 00:01:28,398 --> 00:01:31,328 and surprising them with a bowl of beans. 28 00:01:31,367 --> 00:01:38,507 ♪♪ 29 00:01:38,546 --> 00:01:39,506 Watch your step. 30 00:01:39,547 --> 00:01:41,337 Okay. Okay. 31 00:01:41,377 --> 00:01:43,927 Open. 32 00:01:43,965 --> 00:01:46,895 Joe, you didn't. 33 00:01:46,934 --> 00:01:50,464 If anybody could do it, you could do it. 34 00:01:50,489 --> 00:01:55,559 Aw, your grandfather would be so pleased and proud of you. 35 00:01:55,598 --> 00:01:58,768 Big or small, life is full of surprises 36 00:01:58,808 --> 00:02:01,428 and can change in an instant. 37 00:02:01,466 --> 00:02:06,256 Joe: With those things in mind, I have two questions for you. 38 00:02:06,298 --> 00:02:11,268 One, are you ready for the opportunity of a lifetime? 39 00:02:11,303 --> 00:02:15,583 And, two, how many of you have seen the movie "Rat Race"? 40 00:02:15,618 --> 00:02:17,478 Is that the one with Mr. Bean? 41 00:02:17,516 --> 00:02:18,586 -Oh, and Whoopi? -Yeah. 42 00:02:18,621 --> 00:02:20,241 -And Jon Lovitz. -Scott Evil. 43 00:02:20,278 --> 00:02:21,968 Yeah, yeah, yeah, and that Monty Python guy. 44 00:02:22,003 --> 00:02:24,423 Yes, yes, it's got all of those people. 45 00:02:24,454 --> 00:02:25,664 Anyhow... 46 00:02:25,697 --> 00:02:28,597 Uh, does this movie have subtitles, Joe? 47 00:02:28,631 --> 00:02:30,291 I forgot my glasses. 48 00:02:30,322 --> 00:02:33,192 No. We won't be watching the film "Rat Race." 49 00:02:33,222 --> 00:02:34,952 You remember that part where the cow is hanging 50 00:02:34,982 --> 00:02:37,642 from the hot-air balloon by the rope? 51 00:02:37,674 --> 00:02:41,824 And then Cuba crashes the bus with all the I Love Lucys in it. 52 00:02:41,851 --> 00:02:44,821 [ Laughs ] Oh, man. 53 00:02:44,854 --> 00:02:47,414 Yes, yes. It is a wild adventure. 54 00:02:47,443 --> 00:02:49,823 And let me explain. 55 00:02:49,859 --> 00:02:52,929 Yesterday morning, I drove up to Copper Harbor 56 00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:58,345 and placed $115 cash inside of a small locker. 57 00:02:58,385 --> 00:03:01,905 Inside these envelopes are the exact coordinates of that locker 58 00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:04,840 and the key to open it. 59 00:03:04,874 --> 00:03:07,464 Whoever gets there first wins the cash. 60 00:03:07,497 --> 00:03:09,187 And, um... 61 00:03:10,845 --> 00:03:13,395 ...there are no rules. 62 00:03:13,434 --> 00:03:15,644 I thought this was gonna be an intervention for me. 63 00:03:15,678 --> 00:03:17,228 Hell, yeah. 64 00:03:17,266 --> 00:03:20,546 Sorry, Father, but, Joe, you're a legend for this one. 65 00:03:20,579 --> 00:03:22,649 Hey, does anybody with a car want to team up with me? 66 00:03:22,685 --> 00:03:24,235 I belayed it here. 67 00:03:24,273 --> 00:03:27,483 Uh, I got to go do something else. 68 00:03:27,517 --> 00:03:30,657 Oh, Lulu's making a break for the door. 69 00:03:30,693 --> 00:03:33,043 Come on, Gene. You're taking me over to Carole's. 70 00:03:33,074 --> 00:03:34,214 Just a sec, hon. 71 00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:37,668 Joe, is there gonna be a Smash Mouth concert at the end? 72 00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:40,600 I wouldn't even know where to begin to make that happen, Gene. 73 00:03:40,634 --> 00:03:45,024 Gene, I can't believe that I'm missing Scrabble for this. 74 00:03:45,052 --> 00:03:46,712 Sorry. 75 00:03:46,743 --> 00:03:49,023 Joe, I'd love to do a rat race, 76 00:03:49,056 --> 00:03:50,676 but I'd also love to stay married. 77 00:03:50,713 --> 00:03:52,753 [ Sighs ] Geez. 78 00:03:52,784 --> 00:03:56,444 So wait. You want us to drive three hours to Copper Harbor, 79 00:03:56,477 --> 00:04:00,377 then three hours back for just a little over $100? 80 00:04:00,412 --> 00:04:01,902 Yeah, if me and Kelly split that, 81 00:04:01,931 --> 00:04:04,731 that's, like, barely above minimum wage. 82 00:04:04,761 --> 00:04:06,731 Who says you have to split it? 83 00:04:06,763 --> 00:04:08,353 You each have your own key. 84 00:04:08,386 --> 00:04:10,726 Oh, you've got a lot to learn about sharing money 85 00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:12,417 with your wife, my man. 86 00:04:12,459 --> 00:04:14,699 Joint bank accounts are a form of oppression, 87 00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:16,947 if you ask me. 88 00:04:16,980 --> 00:04:19,360 Come on, guys. There's gold out there. 89 00:04:19,397 --> 00:04:20,357 Where's the rush? 90 00:04:20,398 --> 00:04:22,568 I have Saturday evening mass. 91 00:04:22,607 --> 00:04:26,087 I have medical issues I'd rather not talk about. 92 00:04:26,127 --> 00:04:28,747 Yeah, I can't ride for more than five minutes at a time. 93 00:04:28,785 --> 00:04:31,025 Otherwise, I get bored. 94 00:04:31,063 --> 00:04:33,893 [ Sighs ] Is anybody gonna do it? 95 00:04:33,928 --> 00:04:36,518 Yes. Big Jeff and I are teaming up. 96 00:04:36,552 --> 00:04:37,622 All right. 97 00:04:37,656 --> 00:04:39,486 Father, a quick blessing? 98 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,380 Yeah, so you'll pay for the gas when we stop? 99 00:04:41,419 --> 00:04:42,109 That's fine by me. 100 00:04:42,143 --> 00:04:44,703 And buy me venison jerky? 101 00:04:44,732 --> 00:04:46,532 Jeff, I can write that off. 102 00:04:46,562 --> 00:04:47,632 Rat race! 103 00:04:47,666 --> 00:04:49,456 [ Sighs ] 104 00:04:49,496 --> 00:04:53,876 Well, I can't force you to do anything you don't want to, 105 00:04:53,914 --> 00:04:58,784 but last chance, $115 cash. 106 00:05:00,472 --> 00:05:02,342 Sorry, Joe. 107 00:05:02,371 --> 00:05:06,481 Well, if you don't want to participate, 108 00:05:06,513 --> 00:05:09,143 maybe we could just sit in my backyard. 109 00:05:09,170 --> 00:05:12,140 Joe, can Kelly get a glass of water? 110 00:05:12,173 --> 00:05:16,113 She's got to take her tapeworm pills. 111 00:05:16,143 --> 00:05:17,633 Absolutely. 112 00:05:17,662 --> 00:05:21,602 His lady friend, Miss Conner, she's a sweetheart. 113 00:05:21,631 --> 00:05:25,461 But that band room's got the filthiest floors, man. 114 00:05:25,497 --> 00:05:28,467 The kids, they empty the spit from the trumpets 115 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:30,020 right on the floor, 116 00:05:30,053 --> 00:05:34,993 and as soon as I mop it up, it's covered in spit again. 117 00:05:35,024 --> 00:05:37,514 Here's your water, no ice. 118 00:05:37,544 --> 00:05:40,414 And now we'll just wait for the call. 119 00:05:40,443 --> 00:05:42,483 It's a beautiful backyard, Joe. 120 00:05:42,514 --> 00:05:43,964 Thanks, Father Andrew. 121 00:05:43,998 --> 00:05:45,478 Tell me something. 122 00:05:45,517 --> 00:05:47,137 How did you ever come up with the idea 123 00:05:47,174 --> 00:05:49,944 for organizing this rat maze? 124 00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:53,460 Just a bit of summer inspiration. 125 00:05:53,491 --> 00:05:56,461 Back when doing research for my rat musical, 126 00:05:56,494 --> 00:05:59,054 I took out pretty much everything from the library 127 00:05:59,082 --> 00:06:01,642 with the word "rat" in the title. 128 00:06:01,671 --> 00:06:03,951 Have you ever seen this movie?[ Beep ] 129 00:06:03,984 --> 00:06:05,954 I never got around to watching it, 130 00:06:05,986 --> 00:06:07,746 but then it came back up again 131 00:06:07,781 --> 00:06:11,961 while I was doing online research to find Bean movies. 132 00:06:11,992 --> 00:06:15,722 A few nights ago, I finally watched it with Sarah. 133 00:06:15,754 --> 00:06:17,834 It was silly, feel-good fun, 134 00:06:17,860 --> 00:06:20,690 and I thought it was sweet how they donated the money 135 00:06:20,725 --> 00:06:23,035 to impoverished children at the end. 136 00:06:23,072 --> 00:06:25,592 Didn't it seem like they donated it 137 00:06:25,626 --> 00:06:28,486 just because they were scared of looking like assholes 138 00:06:28,526 --> 00:06:30,146 in front of the crowd? 139 00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:32,562 No. I think they may have changed. 140 00:06:32,599 --> 00:06:35,809 It's clearly an anti-capitalist cautionary tale 141 00:06:35,843 --> 00:06:39,813 that culminates in a commentary about shame culture. 142 00:06:39,847 --> 00:06:41,637 What is this movie? 143 00:06:41,677 --> 00:06:43,227 I just thought it was entertaining 144 00:06:43,264 --> 00:06:46,204 and it would be fun to re-create. 145 00:06:46,233 --> 00:06:47,893 Well, let's see -- It says it came out 146 00:06:47,924 --> 00:06:49,934 August 17, 2001. 147 00:06:49,961 --> 00:06:51,761 Joe: Uh-huh.Come to think of it, 148 00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:55,070 that's the last thing I saw in the theaters before 9/11. 149 00:06:55,104 --> 00:06:56,554 [ Cellphone ringing ] 150 00:06:56,588 --> 00:06:59,588 Oh, here we go. What do you think? 151 00:06:59,626 --> 00:07:02,456 Did Jeff ditch Brad Cam at a rest stop? 152 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,770 Hello?Carole: Joe? 153 00:07:08,807 --> 00:07:10,737 Joe, honey, it's Carole. 154 00:07:10,775 --> 00:07:12,215 Hi, Carole. 155 00:07:12,259 --> 00:07:15,949 Is Nana taking too many Scrabble tiles again? 156 00:07:15,987 --> 00:07:19,647 Honey, you need to get over to the hospital right away. 157 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,790 It's Nana. I just called an ambulance. 158 00:07:22,821 --> 00:07:24,961 Is everything all right? 159 00:07:24,996 --> 00:07:26,096 What's going on? 160 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,240 That doesn't sound good. 161 00:07:30,277 --> 00:07:31,517 I should meet him over there. 162 00:07:31,554 --> 00:07:33,564 Well, we can put Gus in the house. 163 00:07:48,329 --> 00:07:50,609 [ Lock clicking ] 164 00:08:11,318 --> 00:08:14,868 I'm gonna make some tea. You want some? 165 00:08:14,908 --> 00:08:16,528 I'm okay. 166 00:08:18,636 --> 00:08:21,086 How about a root beer float? 167 00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:25,190 Sorry. 168 00:08:31,096 --> 00:08:33,546 [ Light switch clicks ] 169 00:08:35,031 --> 00:08:36,931 [ Light switch clicks ] 170 00:08:36,964 --> 00:08:40,044 [ Clink, water running ] 171 00:08:45,973 --> 00:08:47,633 [ Clinking ] 172 00:08:56,984 --> 00:08:59,574 [ Knock on door ] 173 00:08:59,608 --> 00:09:02,088 -You think he's still up? -I hope so, man. 174 00:09:02,127 --> 00:09:04,957 [ Indistinct talking ] 175 00:09:04,992 --> 00:09:06,682 [ Chair clanks ] 176 00:09:06,718 --> 00:09:07,998 Jeff: We got to celebrate. What the heck? 177 00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:10,030 We got to celebrate. 178 00:09:10,066 --> 00:09:12,066 Brad: Come on, Joe. Wake up, wake up. 179 00:09:12,103 --> 00:09:13,593 Get out of your PJs. 180 00:09:13,622 --> 00:09:14,862 -Hey, there he is. -Hey, he is here. 181 00:09:14,899 --> 00:09:16,309 Yep, there he goes! 182 00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:20,208 Here are your winners -- Brad Cam and Big Jeff, 183 00:09:20,249 --> 00:09:22,669 and to the victor goes the spoils. 184 00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:25,290 What do you think?Thanks for the 115 big ones, Joe. 185 00:09:25,323 --> 00:09:26,643 Now, you get your shoes on, 186 00:09:26,669 --> 00:09:28,399 because we are going to the casino. 187 00:09:28,429 --> 00:09:30,809 I really think I can double this for us. 188 00:09:30,846 --> 00:09:32,636 Rat race! Yes! Rat race! 189 00:09:32,675 --> 00:09:33,635 Yeah. 190 00:09:33,676 --> 00:09:35,156 [ Both laugh ] 191 00:09:35,195 --> 00:09:36,885 We catch you at a bad time? 192 00:09:36,921 --> 00:09:38,061 A little bit. 193 00:09:38,094 --> 00:09:40,864 I told you, he goes to bed early. 194 00:09:40,890 --> 00:09:41,860 I know. I know. 195 00:09:41,891 --> 00:09:43,381 Hey, guys. 196 00:09:43,410 --> 00:09:45,210 Hey, Sarah!Hey, Sarah! Great! 197 00:09:45,239 --> 00:09:47,069 Hey, hey, this is perfect. 198 00:09:47,103 --> 00:09:48,693 We got all four of us here. 199 00:09:48,726 --> 00:09:51,206 A round of margaritas on me. What do you say? 200 00:09:51,245 --> 00:09:54,035 Jeff: Huh? Sound good? 201 00:09:56,768 --> 00:10:01,048 Hey, guys, um, Joe's nana passed away this afternoon. 202 00:10:01,083 --> 00:10:03,953 Oh, my God. 203 00:10:03,982 --> 00:10:04,982 Oh, my God. 204 00:10:05,018 --> 00:10:07,848 I am so sorry. 205 00:10:07,883 --> 00:10:09,373 Buddy. 206 00:10:14,096 --> 00:10:15,956 I'm sorry, Joe. 207 00:10:22,794 --> 00:10:25,144 Congrats. 208 00:10:25,176 --> 00:10:27,066 Joe, if you need anything... 209 00:10:27,109 --> 00:10:28,319 Thanks, guys. 210 00:10:31,113 --> 00:10:32,253 Good night. 211 00:10:35,082 --> 00:10:36,642 Good night, Joe. 212 00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:39,640 [ Door opens ] 213 00:10:41,123 --> 00:10:43,643 [ Door closes ] 14995

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