Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,140 --> 00:00:03,140
♪♪
2
00:00:03,175 --> 00:00:04,795
Joe: Surprise.
3
00:00:04,832 --> 00:00:07,182
When something
unexpected happens,
4
00:00:07,214 --> 00:00:09,844
you can't predict
how you will respond.
5
00:00:09,871 --> 00:00:14,051
You might grab your best friend and give them a kiss
6
00:00:14,083 --> 00:00:16,643
or look for the nearest
medium-sized object
7
00:00:16,671 --> 00:00:18,471
to throw at their head.
8
00:00:18,501 --> 00:00:19,671
Keys!
No!
9
00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:21,679
Oh, I don't --
I don't like that.
10
00:00:21,711 --> 00:00:23,851
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.It's okay.
11
00:00:23,885 --> 00:00:26,125
How'd you make out
at the coin store?
12
00:00:26,164 --> 00:00:28,374
Like a boss.
13
00:00:28,407 --> 00:00:31,167
So this is nine copies
of the key plus the original.
14
00:00:31,203 --> 00:00:32,653
I'm bummed
I can't be there.
15
00:00:32,687 --> 00:00:34,477
You want anything else?
16
00:00:34,517 --> 00:00:36,827
Mm...surprise me.
17
00:00:36,864 --> 00:00:38,144
Mm.
18
00:00:40,661 --> 00:00:42,531
It'll be $12.99.
19
00:00:47,323 --> 00:00:48,363
Okay.
20
00:00:48,393 --> 00:00:56,853
♪♪
21
00:00:56,884 --> 00:01:05,384
♪♪
22
00:01:05,410 --> 00:01:07,450
[ Balloon squeaks ]
23
00:01:07,481 --> 00:01:16,421
♪♪
24
00:01:16,455 --> 00:01:20,245
On the 65th day,
there were beans, as promised.
25
00:01:23,255 --> 00:01:25,525
So for the past
week and a half,
26
00:01:25,568 --> 00:01:28,358
I've been going around
to friends and family
27
00:01:28,398 --> 00:01:31,328
and surprising them
with a bowl of beans.
28
00:01:31,367 --> 00:01:38,507
♪♪
29
00:01:38,546 --> 00:01:39,506
Watch your step.
30
00:01:39,547 --> 00:01:41,337
Okay.
Okay.
31
00:01:41,377 --> 00:01:43,927
Open.
32
00:01:43,965 --> 00:01:46,895
Joe, you didn't.
33
00:01:46,934 --> 00:01:50,464
If anybody could do it,
you could do it.
34
00:01:50,489 --> 00:01:55,559
Aw, your grandfather would be
so pleased and proud of you.
35
00:01:55,598 --> 00:01:58,768
Big or small,
life is full of surprises
36
00:01:58,808 --> 00:02:01,428
and can change in an instant.
37
00:02:01,466 --> 00:02:06,256
Joe: With those things in mind,
I have two questions for you.
38
00:02:06,298 --> 00:02:11,268
One, are you ready for
the opportunity of a lifetime?
39
00:02:11,303 --> 00:02:15,583
And, two, how many of you
have seen the movie "Rat Race"?
40
00:02:15,618 --> 00:02:17,478
Is that the one
with Mr. Bean?
41
00:02:17,516 --> 00:02:18,586
-Oh, and Whoopi?
-Yeah.
42
00:02:18,621 --> 00:02:20,241
-And Jon Lovitz.
-Scott Evil.
43
00:02:20,278 --> 00:02:21,968
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
and that Monty Python guy.
44
00:02:22,003 --> 00:02:24,423
Yes, yes, it's got
all of those people.
45
00:02:24,454 --> 00:02:25,664
Anyhow...
46
00:02:25,697 --> 00:02:28,597
Uh, does this movie
have subtitles, Joe?
47
00:02:28,631 --> 00:02:30,291
I forgot my glasses.
48
00:02:30,322 --> 00:02:33,192
No. We won't be watching
the film "Rat Race."
49
00:02:33,222 --> 00:02:34,952
You remember that part
where the cow is hanging
50
00:02:34,982 --> 00:02:37,642
from the hot-air balloon
by the rope?
51
00:02:37,674 --> 00:02:41,824
And then Cuba crashes the bus
with all the I Love Lucys in it.
52
00:02:41,851 --> 00:02:44,821
[ Laughs ]
Oh, man.
53
00:02:44,854 --> 00:02:47,414
Yes, yes.
It is a wild adventure.
54
00:02:47,443 --> 00:02:49,823
And let me explain.
55
00:02:49,859 --> 00:02:52,929
Yesterday morning,
I drove up to Copper Harbor
56
00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:58,345
and placed $115 cash
inside of a small locker.
57
00:02:58,385 --> 00:03:01,905
Inside these envelopes are the
exact coordinates of that locker
58
00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:04,840
and the key to open it.
59
00:03:04,874 --> 00:03:07,464
Whoever gets there first
wins the cash.
60
00:03:07,497 --> 00:03:09,187
And, um...
61
00:03:10,845 --> 00:03:13,395
...there are no rules.
62
00:03:13,434 --> 00:03:15,644
I thought this was gonna be
an intervention for me.
63
00:03:15,678 --> 00:03:17,228
Hell, yeah.
64
00:03:17,266 --> 00:03:20,546
Sorry, Father, but, Joe,
you're a legend for this one.
65
00:03:20,579 --> 00:03:22,649
Hey, does anybody with a car
want to team up with me?
66
00:03:22,685 --> 00:03:24,235
I belayed it here.
67
00:03:24,273 --> 00:03:27,483
Uh, I got to go
do something else.
68
00:03:27,517 --> 00:03:30,657
Oh, Lulu's making a break
for the door.
69
00:03:30,693 --> 00:03:33,043
Come on, Gene. You're taking me
over to Carole's.
70
00:03:33,074 --> 00:03:34,214
Just a sec, hon.
71
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:37,668
Joe, is there gonna be a
Smash Mouth concert at the end?
72
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:40,600
I wouldn't even know where to
begin to make that happen, Gene.
73
00:03:40,634 --> 00:03:45,024
Gene, I can't believe that
I'm missing Scrabble for this.
74
00:03:45,052 --> 00:03:46,712
Sorry.
75
00:03:46,743 --> 00:03:49,023
Joe, I'd love
to do a rat race,
76
00:03:49,056 --> 00:03:50,676
but I'd also love
to stay married.
77
00:03:50,713 --> 00:03:52,753
[ Sighs ] Geez.
78
00:03:52,784 --> 00:03:56,444
So wait. You want us to drive
three hours to Copper Harbor,
79
00:03:56,477 --> 00:04:00,377
then three hours back
for just a little over $100?
80
00:04:00,412 --> 00:04:01,902
Yeah, if me and Kelly
split that,
81
00:04:01,931 --> 00:04:04,731
that's, like,
barely above minimum wage.
82
00:04:04,761 --> 00:04:06,731
Who says you have to split it?
83
00:04:06,763 --> 00:04:08,353
You each have your own key.
84
00:04:08,386 --> 00:04:10,726
Oh, you've got a lot to learn
about sharing money
85
00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:12,417
with your wife, my man.
86
00:04:12,459 --> 00:04:14,699
Joint bank accounts
are a form of oppression,
87
00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:16,947
if you ask me.
88
00:04:16,980 --> 00:04:19,360
Come on, guys.
There's gold out there.
89
00:04:19,397 --> 00:04:20,357
Where's the rush?
90
00:04:20,398 --> 00:04:22,568
I have
Saturday evening mass.
91
00:04:22,607 --> 00:04:26,087
I have medical issues
I'd rather not talk about.
92
00:04:26,127 --> 00:04:28,747
Yeah, I can't ride for more
than five minutes at a time.
93
00:04:28,785 --> 00:04:31,025
Otherwise, I get bored.
94
00:04:31,063 --> 00:04:33,893
[ Sighs ]
Is anybody gonna do it?
95
00:04:33,928 --> 00:04:36,518
Yes. Big Jeff and I
are teaming up.
96
00:04:36,552 --> 00:04:37,622
All right.
97
00:04:37,656 --> 00:04:39,486
Father,
a quick blessing?
98
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,380
Yeah, so you'll pay
for the gas when we stop?
99
00:04:41,419 --> 00:04:42,109
That's fine by me.
100
00:04:42,143 --> 00:04:44,703
And buy me
venison jerky?
101
00:04:44,732 --> 00:04:46,532
Jeff, I can
write that off.
102
00:04:46,562 --> 00:04:47,632
Rat race!
103
00:04:47,666 --> 00:04:49,456
[ Sighs ]
104
00:04:49,496 --> 00:04:53,876
Well, I can't force you to do
anything you don't want to,
105
00:04:53,914 --> 00:04:58,784
but last chance, $115 cash.
106
00:05:00,472 --> 00:05:02,342
Sorry, Joe.
107
00:05:02,371 --> 00:05:06,481
Well, if you don't want
to participate,
108
00:05:06,513 --> 00:05:09,143
maybe we could just
sit in my backyard.
109
00:05:09,170 --> 00:05:12,140
Joe, can Kelly
get a glass of water?
110
00:05:12,173 --> 00:05:16,113
She's got to take
her tapeworm pills.
111
00:05:16,143 --> 00:05:17,633
Absolutely.
112
00:05:17,662 --> 00:05:21,602
His lady friend, Miss Conner,
she's a sweetheart.
113
00:05:21,631 --> 00:05:25,461
But that band room's got
the filthiest floors, man.
114
00:05:25,497 --> 00:05:28,467
The kids, they empty the spit
from the trumpets
115
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:30,020
right on the floor,
116
00:05:30,053 --> 00:05:34,993
and as soon as I mop it up,
it's covered in spit again.
117
00:05:35,024 --> 00:05:37,514
Here's your water,
no ice.
118
00:05:37,544 --> 00:05:40,414
And now we'll just wait
for the call.
119
00:05:40,443 --> 00:05:42,483
It's a beautiful
backyard, Joe.
120
00:05:42,514 --> 00:05:43,964
Thanks, Father Andrew.
121
00:05:43,998 --> 00:05:45,478
Tell me something.
122
00:05:45,517 --> 00:05:47,137
How did you ever
come up with the idea
123
00:05:47,174 --> 00:05:49,944
for organizing
this rat maze?
124
00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:53,460
Just a bit
of summer inspiration.
125
00:05:53,491 --> 00:05:56,461
Back when doing research
for my rat musical,
126
00:05:56,494 --> 00:05:59,054
I took out pretty much
everything from the library
127
00:05:59,082 --> 00:06:01,642
with the word "rat"
in the title.
128
00:06:01,671 --> 00:06:03,951
Have you ever
seen this movie?[ Beep ]
129
00:06:03,984 --> 00:06:05,954
I never got around
to watching it,
130
00:06:05,986 --> 00:06:07,746
but then it came back up again
131
00:06:07,781 --> 00:06:11,961
while I was doing online
research to find Bean movies.
132
00:06:11,992 --> 00:06:15,722
A few nights ago, I finally
watched it with Sarah.
133
00:06:15,754 --> 00:06:17,834
It was silly, feel-good fun,
134
00:06:17,860 --> 00:06:20,690
and I thought it was sweet
how they donated the money
135
00:06:20,725 --> 00:06:23,035
to impoverished children
at the end.
136
00:06:23,072 --> 00:06:25,592
Didn't it seem like
they donated it
137
00:06:25,626 --> 00:06:28,486
just because they were scared
of looking like assholes
138
00:06:28,526 --> 00:06:30,146
in front of the crowd?
139
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:32,562
No.
I think they may have changed.
140
00:06:32,599 --> 00:06:35,809
It's clearly an anti-capitalist
cautionary tale
141
00:06:35,843 --> 00:06:39,813
that culminates in a commentary
about shame culture.
142
00:06:39,847 --> 00:06:41,637
What is this movie?
143
00:06:41,677 --> 00:06:43,227
I just thought
it was entertaining
144
00:06:43,264 --> 00:06:46,204
and it would be fun
to re-create.
145
00:06:46,233 --> 00:06:47,893
Well, let's see --
It says it came out
146
00:06:47,924 --> 00:06:49,934
August 17, 2001.
147
00:06:49,961 --> 00:06:51,761
Joe: Uh-huh.Come to think of it,
148
00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:55,070
that's the last thing I saw
in the theaters before 9/11.
149
00:06:55,104 --> 00:06:56,554
[ Cellphone ringing ]
150
00:06:56,588 --> 00:06:59,588
Oh, here we go.
What do you think?
151
00:06:59,626 --> 00:07:02,456
Did Jeff ditch Brad Cam
at a rest stop?
152
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,770
Hello?Carole: Joe?
153
00:07:08,807 --> 00:07:10,737
Joe, honey,
it's Carole.
154
00:07:10,775 --> 00:07:12,215
Hi, Carole.
155
00:07:12,259 --> 00:07:15,949
Is Nana taking too many
Scrabble tiles again?
156
00:07:15,987 --> 00:07:19,647
Honey, you need to get over
to the hospital right away.
157
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,790
It's Nana.
I just called an ambulance.
158
00:07:22,821 --> 00:07:24,961
Is everything all right?
159
00:07:24,996 --> 00:07:26,096
What's going on?
160
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,240
That doesn't
sound good.
161
00:07:30,277 --> 00:07:31,517
I should
meet him over there.
162
00:07:31,554 --> 00:07:33,564
Well, we can put Gus
in the house.
163
00:07:48,329 --> 00:07:50,609
[ Lock clicking ]
164
00:08:11,318 --> 00:08:14,868
I'm gonna make some tea.
You want some?
165
00:08:14,908 --> 00:08:16,528
I'm okay.
166
00:08:18,636 --> 00:08:21,086
How about
a root beer float?
167
00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:25,190
Sorry.
168
00:08:31,096 --> 00:08:33,546
[ Light switch clicks ]
169
00:08:35,031 --> 00:08:36,931
[ Light switch clicks ]
170
00:08:36,964 --> 00:08:40,044
[ Clink, water running ]
171
00:08:45,973 --> 00:08:47,633
[ Clinking ]
172
00:08:56,984 --> 00:08:59,574
[ Knock on door ]
173
00:08:59,608 --> 00:09:02,088
-You think he's still up?
-I hope so, man.
174
00:09:02,127 --> 00:09:04,957
[ Indistinct talking ]
175
00:09:04,992 --> 00:09:06,682
[ Chair clanks ]
176
00:09:06,718 --> 00:09:07,998
Jeff: We got to celebrate.
What the heck?
177
00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:10,030
We got to celebrate.
178
00:09:10,066 --> 00:09:12,066
Brad: Come on, Joe.
Wake up, wake up.
179
00:09:12,103 --> 00:09:13,593
Get out of your PJs.
180
00:09:13,622 --> 00:09:14,862
-Hey, there he is.
-Hey, he is here.
181
00:09:14,899 --> 00:09:16,309
Yep, there he goes!
182
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:20,208
Here are your winners --
Brad Cam and Big Jeff,
183
00:09:20,249 --> 00:09:22,669
and to the victor
goes the spoils.
184
00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:25,290
What do you think?Thanks for the 115 big ones,
Joe.
185
00:09:25,323 --> 00:09:26,643
Now, you get
your shoes on,
186
00:09:26,669 --> 00:09:28,399
because we are going
to the casino.
187
00:09:28,429 --> 00:09:30,809
I really think I can
double this for us.
188
00:09:30,846 --> 00:09:32,636
Rat race! Yes!
Rat race!
189
00:09:32,675 --> 00:09:33,635
Yeah.
190
00:09:33,676 --> 00:09:35,156
[ Both laugh ]
191
00:09:35,195 --> 00:09:36,885
We catch you
at a bad time?
192
00:09:36,921 --> 00:09:38,061
A little bit.
193
00:09:38,094 --> 00:09:40,864
I told you,
he goes to bed early.
194
00:09:40,890 --> 00:09:41,860
I know.
I know.
195
00:09:41,891 --> 00:09:43,381
Hey, guys.
196
00:09:43,410 --> 00:09:45,210
Hey, Sarah!Hey, Sarah! Great!
197
00:09:45,239 --> 00:09:47,069
Hey, hey,
this is perfect.
198
00:09:47,103 --> 00:09:48,693
We got all four
of us here.
199
00:09:48,726 --> 00:09:51,206
A round of margaritas on me.
What do you say?
200
00:09:51,245 --> 00:09:54,035
Jeff: Huh?
Sound good?
201
00:09:56,768 --> 00:10:01,048
Hey, guys, um, Joe's nana
passed away this afternoon.
202
00:10:01,083 --> 00:10:03,953
Oh, my God.
203
00:10:03,982 --> 00:10:04,982
Oh, my God.
204
00:10:05,018 --> 00:10:07,848
I am so sorry.
205
00:10:07,883 --> 00:10:09,373
Buddy.
206
00:10:14,096 --> 00:10:15,956
I'm sorry, Joe.
207
00:10:22,794 --> 00:10:25,144
Congrats.
208
00:10:25,176 --> 00:10:27,066
Joe, if you
need anything...
209
00:10:27,109 --> 00:10:28,319
Thanks, guys.
210
00:10:31,113 --> 00:10:32,253
Good night.
211
00:10:35,082 --> 00:10:36,642
Good night, Joe.
212
00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:39,640
[ Door opens ]
213
00:10:41,123 --> 00:10:43,643
[ Door closes ]
14995
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.