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1
00:00:03,106 --> 00:00:05,136
Hello. I'm Joe Pera.
2
00:00:05,143 --> 00:00:09,013
And I just got back from
my first-ever bachelor party.
3
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,529
It was for
Sue Melsky's brother Dave.
4
00:00:12,529 --> 00:00:14,639
I actually only met him once.
5
00:00:14,635 --> 00:00:17,015
But Mike Melsky
was hosting at his cabin
6
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,227
and practically begged me
to come,
7
00:00:19,226 --> 00:00:22,226
along with my 150-quart cooler
8
00:00:22,229 --> 00:00:25,719
that holds up to 223 cans.
9
00:00:25,715 --> 00:00:29,095
I got it as a gift
when I graduated college.
10
00:00:32,860 --> 00:00:33,900
Ow.
11
00:00:33,895 --> 00:00:39,345
♪♪
12
00:00:39,349 --> 00:00:44,909
At first, I was skeptical of
the whole bachelor party thing.
13
00:00:44,906 --> 00:00:45,836
Geez.
14
00:00:45,838 --> 00:00:48,258
I sound like a bride.
15
00:00:48,255 --> 00:00:53,255
It's just that I don't often
hang out with guys my own age.
16
00:00:53,260 --> 00:00:55,570
If only there were a book titled
17
00:00:55,572 --> 00:00:58,582
"How to Connect With
Other Men in Their 30s."
18
00:00:58,575 --> 00:01:00,405
I would read the whole thing
19
00:01:00,405 --> 00:01:03,055
and then be the life
of the party.
20
00:01:04,616 --> 00:01:06,996
[ Gunfire and explosions on TV ]
21
00:01:06,997 --> 00:01:08,167
Hey, guys.
22
00:01:08,171 --> 00:01:11,071
Thanks for watching Gus
while I was away.
23
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,041
How did it go?
24
00:01:12,037 --> 00:01:14,417
Josh ate the dog food.Shut up.
25
00:01:14,419 --> 00:01:16,079
He thought it was cereal.
26
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,586
Shut up!
27
00:01:17,594 --> 00:01:21,084
Can we stay and watch the rest
of the movie?
28
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,291
Sure.
29
00:01:22,289 --> 00:01:24,079
Sarah's coming
over soon,
30
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,604
and I was just about
to get dinner started.
31
00:01:26,603 --> 00:01:30,193
Which you're welcome
to stay for.
32
00:01:30,193 --> 00:01:32,583
We're having dog food.
33
00:01:33,231 --> 00:01:34,441
Just kidding.
34
00:01:34,439 --> 00:01:38,269
We're having salmon,
mashed potatoes,
35
00:01:38,270 --> 00:01:40,380
asparagus, and water.
36
00:01:40,376 --> 00:01:43,406
Cool.
I actually like asparagus.
37
00:01:43,413 --> 00:01:44,933
That is cool.
38
00:01:44,932 --> 00:01:48,562
And, um, so you guys know,
39
00:01:48,556 --> 00:01:51,246
you're always welcome here.
40
00:01:51,249 --> 00:01:52,939
Thanks.Thanks, Joe.
41
00:01:56,495 --> 00:01:59,145
Joe: The guys were real nice
to make me feel welcome,
42
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:02,333
but since I hadn't gotten
comfortable around them,
43
00:02:02,329 --> 00:02:04,119
I wasn't super talkative.
44
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,644
Mike wasn't saying much,
either.
45
00:02:06,643 --> 00:02:08,233
But I reminded myself
46
00:02:08,231 --> 00:02:11,411
what I tell the boys in choir
before a concert.
47
00:02:11,407 --> 00:02:12,987
Even if you feel silly,
48
00:02:12,994 --> 00:02:15,244
just go with the flow
and trying to have fun.
49
00:02:15,238 --> 00:02:17,928
Yeah, 100%.
I'm just giving credit.
50
00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:19,970
-[ Speaks indistinctly ]
-Hell yeah.
51
00:02:19,967 --> 00:02:21,927
So, Dave.
52
00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:23,284
What are
the top 10 reasons
53
00:02:23,281 --> 00:02:25,181
you're most excited
to get married?
54
00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:29,319
Um [Chuckles] I don't know
that I could do 10
55
00:02:29,321 --> 00:02:30,841
off the top of my head,
56
00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,840
but, I mean, obviously
Maria's a total smoke show.
57
00:02:32,842 --> 00:02:34,672
Ahh.
Oh, damn.
58
00:02:34,671 --> 00:02:36,471
One of the rules this weekend
59
00:02:36,466 --> 00:02:40,186
was that every time Dave said
his fiancée, Maria's, name,
60
00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:41,994
he had to do a shot.
61
00:02:41,989 --> 00:02:43,509
It's like they were
training him
62
00:02:43,508 --> 00:02:46,508
to associate her with nausea
and vomiting.
63
00:02:46,511 --> 00:02:48,821
Again? Damn.
64
00:02:48,823 --> 00:02:51,793
This night is about
to turn into "The Hangover."
65
00:02:51,792 --> 00:02:53,732
All we need is a baby,
a tiger,
66
00:02:53,725 --> 00:02:56,375
and for Joel to get his teeth
knocked out.
67
00:02:56,383 --> 00:02:58,733
And strippers.
JK.
68
00:02:58,730 --> 00:03:01,180
Dave: Dude, no strippers, man.
I promised Maria.
69
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:04,181
Oh, my God, dude.Oh, whoops.
70
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,054
I love her so much.
I'm gonna keep saying her name.
71
00:03:06,047 --> 00:03:08,877
Sorry, guys. Whew, there's a lot
of this whiskey.
72
00:03:08,878 --> 00:03:10,118
You gonna be all right?
73
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,050
Yo, does anybody got
a pill speaker?
74
00:03:12,053 --> 00:03:15,203
We need to get some
♪ boom-boom-pow in here.
75
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,125
[ Laughs ]
76
00:03:16,126 --> 00:03:17,986
Joel, aren't you
a music guy?
77
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:21,370
I actually teach
middle-school choir.
78
00:03:21,373 --> 00:03:23,103
Nice, dude.
I'm in sales.
79
00:03:23,099 --> 00:03:25,859
I wish I was pulling down
six figures like you, though.
80
00:03:25,860 --> 00:03:27,480
Stacking dough,
you know what I mean?
81
00:03:27,483 --> 00:03:30,213
I'm actually saving up right now
so I can buy this plane.
82
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,690
Check it out.
Wow.
83
00:03:31,694 --> 00:03:36,154
Believe it or not, I've never
been on an airplane before.
84
00:03:36,146 --> 00:03:38,356
You've never been
on an airplane before.
85
00:03:38,356 --> 00:03:41,386
No.
Yo, I can't even
process that.
86
00:03:41,393 --> 00:03:44,743
Jimmy!
87
00:03:44,741 --> 00:03:47,121
[ Grunts ]
Not the ball, dumbass.
88
00:03:47,123 --> 00:03:49,573
I need a brewski
like my mama needs a kidney.
89
00:03:49,574 --> 00:03:51,274
How's she doing,
by the way?
90
00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:52,225
She's hanging in there.
91
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,822
Yeah. All you can do, man.
Joe.
92
00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:56,550
I'm okay.
Oh.
93
00:03:56,546 --> 00:03:58,096
I'm sorry.
94
00:03:58,099 --> 00:04:00,519
Jimmy brought
all the beer for the weekend.
95
00:04:00,516 --> 00:04:02,896
He's a sales rep
for the craft brewery
96
00:04:02,897 --> 00:04:04,897
where Maria bartends.
97
00:04:04,899 --> 00:04:06,589
That's how she and Dave met.
98
00:04:06,591 --> 00:04:09,631
Jimmy and Dave have been
friends since childhood.
99
00:04:09,628 --> 00:04:11,288
They made a pact
when they were 9
100
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:15,115
that they'd be the best men
at each other's wedding.
101
00:04:15,116 --> 00:04:17,076
Sorry.
I'm mostly saying this stuff
102
00:04:17,084 --> 00:04:19,604
so I can remember it myself.
103
00:04:19,604 --> 00:04:20,814
Shit was bootylicious.
104
00:04:20,812 --> 00:04:22,372
Yeah, it's our new IPA.
105
00:04:22,365 --> 00:04:24,085
It's a double dry-hopped
with Citra hops
106
00:04:24,091 --> 00:04:26,821
to give it that
nice citrusy flavor.
107
00:04:26,818 --> 00:04:28,958
Not really a shotgun beer,
but...
108
00:04:28,958 --> 00:04:31,368
It does taste good.
109
00:04:31,374 --> 00:04:33,724
I was thinking of
taking a hike.
110
00:04:33,721 --> 00:04:35,551
If I could see
an eastern milk snake today,
111
00:04:35,551 --> 00:04:37,661
I'd be
a pretty happy man.
112
00:04:37,656 --> 00:04:39,796
Anybody want to
come with?
113
00:04:39,796 --> 00:04:42,106
I think we're just gonna be
chilling here,
114
00:04:42,109 --> 00:04:45,389
but it's pretty cool
that you offered that up, man.
115
00:04:45,388 --> 00:04:46,388
Thanks.
116
00:04:46,389 --> 00:04:47,389
Carlos?
117
00:04:47,390 --> 00:04:49,500
No.
118
00:04:49,496 --> 00:04:50,526
Mike?
119
00:04:50,531 --> 00:04:52,501
No.
120
00:04:52,499 --> 00:04:53,779
All right.
121
00:04:53,776 --> 00:04:56,116
Well, I better go
before it gets dark.
122
00:04:56,123 --> 00:04:58,403
If anybody changes their mind,
123
00:04:58,401 --> 00:04:59,641
I walk pretty slow.
124
00:04:59,644 --> 00:05:01,964
You can just catch up.
125
00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:06,648
Carlos: Be careful, Joel.
126
00:05:06,651 --> 00:05:10,341
Rumor has it there's a portal
to hell out there.
127
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:12,974
♪♪
128
00:05:12,967 --> 00:05:15,687
Okay.
129
00:05:15,694 --> 00:05:18,464
Right, fellas?
130
00:05:18,456 --> 00:05:20,666
Have fun milking snakes.
131
00:05:20,665 --> 00:05:22,665
He's just trying to find them,
dude.
132
00:05:22,667 --> 00:05:24,837
Have fun doing it, then.
133
00:05:26,878 --> 00:05:30,158
I kind of admire
Carlos's ability to say
134
00:05:30,157 --> 00:05:34,507
whatever pops into his head
as it pops into his head.
135
00:05:34,506 --> 00:05:38,436
It usually takes me a long time
to decide what to say.
136
00:05:38,441 --> 00:05:41,341
Speaking of, I had
such a lovely hike.
137
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,451
Kind of thought it was a shame
everyone else
138
00:05:43,446 --> 00:05:46,996
preferred to just drink beer
and eat sausage.
139
00:05:47,001 --> 00:05:49,041
Nothing against beer
or sausage.
140
00:05:49,038 --> 00:05:51,518
I like and have opinions
on both of them.
141
00:05:51,523 --> 00:05:56,183
If you ask me sometime,
maybe I'll say.
142
00:05:56,183 --> 00:05:58,533
Why didn't I say them then?
143
00:05:58,530 --> 00:06:05,680
♪♪
144
00:06:05,675 --> 00:06:12,815
♪♪
145
00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:14,200
FYI, my dudes,
146
00:06:14,201 --> 00:06:16,101
I tend to wet the bed
when I black out,
147
00:06:16,099 --> 00:06:19,759
and I'm definitely gonna try
to black out tonight.
148
00:06:19,758 --> 00:06:21,758
Oh, shit.
What up, Joel?
149
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:25,070
You find that
eastern milky snake?
150
00:06:25,074 --> 00:06:27,904
No, unfortunately.
Not my lucky day.
151
00:06:27,904 --> 00:06:30,014
Hey, man. I'm Kevin.
152
00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:31,360
I'm Dave's older brother.
153
00:06:31,356 --> 00:06:33,076
Joe. Nice to meet you.
154
00:06:33,082 --> 00:06:37,402
You, uh, care to have
something to eat, or something?
155
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,427
Yeah. Is anyone gonna
eat that sausage?
156
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:41,754
That's all you, bro.
157
00:06:41,746 --> 00:06:43,086
And sorry there's no buns
158
00:06:43,092 --> 00:06:45,512
'cause Carlos
frickin' ate them all.
159
00:06:45,508 --> 00:06:46,678
No, I didn't.
160
00:06:46,682 --> 00:06:47,862
I only had like three.
161
00:06:47,855 --> 00:06:50,925
Times 852.
162
00:06:50,927 --> 00:06:52,547
Did you seriously
eat all the buns?
163
00:06:52,550 --> 00:06:55,690
Yeah, dude. I'm carb loading
so I can beat your ass.
164
00:06:55,691 --> 00:06:57,421
Pa-kow!
165
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,417
Get off, man!
166
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,489
I got a bad back!
167
00:07:01,490 --> 00:07:05,390
Man, I fell off the world's
tallest barstool in Sheboygan!
168
00:07:05,390 --> 00:07:07,050
Shut up!
169
00:07:07,047 --> 00:07:08,807
Is this just
'cause of buns?
170
00:07:08,807 --> 00:07:10,217
Kevin:
Fellas, that's enough.
171
00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:12,362
-Mike, enough.
-You been talking all night!
172
00:07:12,362 --> 00:07:13,612
Mike, stop.
173
00:07:13,605 --> 00:07:14,875
Come on. Let go.
174
00:07:14,882 --> 00:07:17,442
Let go of him, Mike.
Get off him.
175
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,087
What the hell, dude?
176
00:07:19,093 --> 00:07:21,163
I had him
right where I wanted him.
177
00:07:21,164 --> 00:07:24,134
Mike, come here.
Take a walk. Take a walk.
178
00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:25,793
Joe:
Is everything all right, Mike?
179
00:07:25,790 --> 00:07:28,620
Sue kicked me out.
180
00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:31,140
Sue kicked me out.
[ Breathing heavily ]
181
00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:33,800
Yeah.
Can you believe that?
182
00:07:33,798 --> 00:07:35,898
She kicked me out.
183
00:07:35,903 --> 00:07:38,113
24/7, we're together.
184
00:07:38,112 --> 00:07:40,112
I go to work, she's there.
185
00:07:40,114 --> 00:07:41,814
"Mike, blah, blah, blah."
186
00:07:41,806 --> 00:07:43,636
I go home, she's there.
187
00:07:43,635 --> 00:07:45,255
"Mike, blah, blah, blah."
188
00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:47,977
I go to bed, there she is.
189
00:07:47,984 --> 00:07:50,304
And she wants nothing
to do with me.
190
00:07:50,297 --> 00:07:53,297
And we haven't boned
since Brexit.
191
00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:56,130
I'm sorry.
I know she's your sister.
192
00:07:56,130 --> 00:07:58,480
And, Carlos, I'm sorry.
193
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,688
Ordinarily we'd be super cool
hanging out,
194
00:08:00,687 --> 00:08:02,097
but I just am -- I'm --
195
00:08:02,102 --> 00:08:04,142
I'm feeling
insane tonight.
196
00:08:04,138 --> 00:08:07,138
No worries, man.
That happens all the time.
197
00:08:07,141 --> 00:08:08,661
When'd she kick you out?
198
00:08:08,660 --> 00:08:11,870
Like last week.
199
00:08:11,870 --> 00:08:13,870
Are you gonna get a divorce,
Mike?
200
00:08:13,872 --> 00:08:15,982
No, Joe,
I won't get divorced
201
00:08:15,978 --> 00:08:18,258
because the pope
does not let me do that.
202
00:08:18,256 --> 00:08:20,016
I'm not
a Hollywood celebrity
203
00:08:20,016 --> 00:08:21,706
that gets divorced
every 20 minutes.
204
00:08:21,708 --> 00:08:23,988
Mike, listen to me.
205
00:08:23,986 --> 00:08:26,606
This is just a hiccup.
-Yeah.
206
00:08:26,609 --> 00:08:29,439
Me and Maria even has ups
and downs.
207
00:08:29,439 --> 00:08:33,689
I do get worried
she can cheat on me again.
208
00:08:33,685 --> 00:08:38,345
If it can happen once,
it can happen again.
209
00:08:38,345 --> 00:08:40,375
Drink up, buddy.Shit.
210
00:08:40,381 --> 00:08:42,141
Look, I'm not going to
defend my sister,
211
00:08:42,142 --> 00:08:44,142
but it was Mardi Gras.
212
00:08:44,144 --> 00:08:45,844
Some guy started
grinding on her.
213
00:08:45,835 --> 00:08:47,315
They made out.
She felt guilty.
214
00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:50,049
Immediately called
and told you everything.
215
00:08:50,046 --> 00:08:52,186
I don't know
if I'd call that cheating.
216
00:08:53,912 --> 00:08:55,642
[ Breathes shakily ]
217
00:08:55,638 --> 00:08:58,048
Look, sorry I ate all the buns,
fellas.
218
00:08:58,054 --> 00:08:59,404
I crave carbs
when I'm stressed,
219
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:02,270
and I'm dealing with
a lot of BS right now.
220
00:09:02,265 --> 00:09:05,225
My mom's on the waiting list
for a kidney.
221
00:09:05,234 --> 00:09:06,484
I tried to give her
one of mine,
222
00:09:06,476 --> 00:09:08,376
but the doctor said
they're too big.
223
00:09:08,375 --> 00:09:11,545
And this country
is so divided right now.
224
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,901
And, like, I had
the perfect plan to stop it.
225
00:09:14,899 --> 00:09:15,929
But, like...
226
00:09:15,934 --> 00:09:18,184
During Carlos' speech,
227
00:09:18,178 --> 00:09:21,768
all I could think about
were Mike, Sue,
228
00:09:21,768 --> 00:09:25,188
and most importantly, the kids.
229
00:09:25,185 --> 00:09:28,255
How is this going
to affect them?
230
00:09:28,257 --> 00:09:30,667
If I wasn't in my head
all the time,
231
00:09:30,673 --> 00:09:33,883
maybe I could have,
I don't know --
232
00:09:33,883 --> 00:09:35,403
I don't know.
233
00:09:35,402 --> 00:09:37,342
...like my mom still does.
234
00:09:39,406 --> 00:09:41,616
Boy, am I glad
to see you.
235
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:43,855
How were the guys?
236
00:09:43,859 --> 00:09:46,899
Good.
Good guys.
237
00:09:46,896 --> 00:09:50,686
Did it make you regret not
joining a fraternity in college?
238
00:09:50,693 --> 00:09:53,253
No.
239
00:09:54,939 --> 00:09:57,389
Are the kids
staying for dinner?
240
00:09:57,389 --> 00:10:00,599
Yeah.
I'll tell you later.
241
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,953
Food's ready.
242
00:10:05,950 --> 00:10:07,230
How was the movie?
243
00:10:07,227 --> 00:10:08,567
Good.
Awesome!
244
00:10:08,573 --> 00:10:09,953
Okay.
245
00:10:09,954 --> 00:10:13,064
I hope we cooked the asparagus
to your liking, Josh.
246
00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:15,300
Thank you.
247
00:10:15,304 --> 00:10:16,934
[ Cellphone chimes ]
248
00:10:16,926 --> 00:10:20,786
♪♪
249
00:10:20,792 --> 00:10:22,972
Hey, no phones at the table.
250
00:10:22,967 --> 00:10:25,657
Sorry.
What's so funny?
251
00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:28,589
I probably shouldn't show you.
But...
252
00:10:28,593 --> 00:10:31,803
♪♪
253
00:10:31,803 --> 00:10:33,083
[ Laughs ]
254
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,390
Let me see.
Hey.
255
00:10:35,393 --> 00:10:38,503
Oh, my God,
Uncle Dave.
256
00:10:38,499 --> 00:10:41,569
♪♪
257
00:10:41,571 --> 00:10:43,681
That's what happened
this weekend.
258
00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:45,297
♪♪
259
00:10:45,299 --> 00:10:47,509
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
260
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