All language subtitles for Hawaii 5-O s09e06 The Last of the Great Paperhangers

H.R. H: And you thought
that was my little caper?

It had entered my mind.

[LAUGHING]

H.R. H: Mr. McGarrett should help us
get the seed money

for the biggest score of my career.

Hello, Mr. Darcy.
Commander Belding.

Say, Mr. Darcy,
Navy's got a problem.

We've got a big carrier force
coming in today,

and I think that we need
a little more currency

than Commander Hutton drew.

Oh, not much.
Just another 200,000, that's all.

[ALL LAUGH]

[ALARM RINGING]

[TINKLY SONG PLAYING]

[BANGING ON CLOSET DOOR]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

- Who is it?
- Mack.

Well?

- Any problems?
- No, not really.

Oh, a few bells went off.

Well, we can't all be perfect like you,
H.R.H.

Ah. Marvelous. We're in business.

- Hey, Danno.
- Welcome back, Steve. How'd it go?

Oh, I'm weary.

They gave him five to ten
in Colorado State,

so he won't be bothering us
for a while.

Your testimony?

Yeah. A good strong case.
How are things here?

Well, actually, there's bad news
and good news.

Okay, lay it on me.

The bad news is somebody
broke into our office last night.

- In the Territorial Building?
DANNY: Yeah.

The good news
is he didn't take anything.

You're kidding.

Why would anyone break into an office
and not take anything?

DANNY: As a matter of fact,
he even left something.

This.

TELLER: Would you sign
these signature cards, please?

Certainly.

Our bank in San Diego will be sending
you a sizable draft in a day or so.

Meanwhile, I trust that this
will be enough to open our account.

TELLER: Of course.
- Right. Thank you.

[H.R.H. SIGHS]

No problem?

No. You didn't really expect any,
did you, Janice?

No, as of now,
Pacific Equipment Company

has a nice legitimate
little bank account.

JANICE: Hmm.
- Whew.

They don't make you look
that different, you know.

No, no, but just in case
of any little difficulty,

it gives the witness
something distinctive to remember

and forget everything else.

[JANICE CHUCKLES]

Well, I'd say
that we're looking pretty good.

JANICE:
Mm-hm.

McGARRETT: What is it, a week
from Tuesday, the next meeting?

And do they meet every week
on Tuesday?

CALVIN: Mr. McGarrett?
- Yeah?

CALVIN: Will you please autograph
your picture on the cover?

Why do you want my autograph, son?
I'm not a ball player.

Because when I grow up,
I wanna be a detective,

just like you.

You do, huh? Okay.

- There you are. You got it.
- Thank you.

- Well, how'd we do, Calvin?
- Real cool.

Yeah?

You know, you're right.

And for you,
a nice crisp $2 bill, hmm?

[SMOOCHES]

JANICE:
Well, it's okay?

H.R. H:
Perfect.

McGarrett hasn't changed much

since he arranged my four-to-eight
vacation at Leavenworth.

I wonder if he'd say the same
about you.

Oh, he's probably forgotten
all about me.

But I haven't forgotten about him.

Which is why I've decided

that Mr. McGarrett
should help us get the seed money

for the biggest score of my career.

[JANICE SIGHS]

Why don't you watch H.R. H?
You might learn something.

What's to learn?
Simple enough, just trace a signature.

There, Mack, my boy,
you're 100 percent wrong.

A skilled document examiner

can detect a traced signature
ten feet away.

MACK: All these are a little different
than the one on the magazine.

H.R. H:
Precisely.

And they should be,

because no one
duplicates his own signature exactly.

But a tracing always reveals
stops and starts,

a labored precision,
too smooth a line.

Child's play for an expert to detect.

So how do you do it?

I put myself
inside the mind of my subject.

A few practice signatures like these

and then my hand and fingers
become those of Steve McGarrett,

and they sign his name
exactly as he would sign it,

spontaneously, undetectably.

And I think we're ready.

Oh. Will you look at that?

- Okay, what have we got?
- What we've got is zero so far.

Che says the front door was picked,
not locked.

Same with the supply cabinet.

There are slight striations

because he used a picklock tool,
not a key.

- What about fingerprints?
- Well, as Danny says, nothing.

The guy probably wore gloves.

No question
we're dealing with an expert.

An expert who deliberately breaks
into a government office

and steals nothing?

Well, maybe he broke
into the wrong office.

No. No, I doubt it.

Or else the alarm went off
and the night watchman surprised him

before he could get what he was after.

No, I think an expert would realize
that there were alarms.

I'm gonna tell you something,
gentlemen.

I think that our expert
knew exactly what he was after,

exactly what he was doing.

We're gonna find out what it was.

[KNOCKS ON DESK]

CLERK:
Hi, may I help you?

Yes, I'm the one who called
about the state tax bulletin.

Oh, right. I'll get you a copy.
It'll just take a second.

Here you go.

- Thank you very much.
CLERK: You're welcome.

603, please.

H.R. H? Janice. It just came.

[PLAYING TINKLY SONG]

It's no good, Steve.
All the little souvenir shops sell them.

Tourists buy them by the thousands.

It would take us forever
to run this down.

[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Hey, what's going on out there?

DANNY:
Steve, can you come out for a minute?

Sure, who is it?

- Bill Stephens, state comptroller.
- Oh, yeah. Hey, Bill. How are you?

Seeing how the other half lives?

Purely utilitarian. Very functional.

- What can we do for you?
- This looks like the same old stuff.

That's because
it is the same old stuff.

Then what happened
to $14,000 worth of new furniture

and equipment you requisitioned?

I requisitioned?

Here's the form.

Signed by you, Steve.

Just two things wrong with this, Bill.

I've never seen it before,
and this is not my signature.

We may have
a very serious situation here, Steve.

- Let me explain.
- Yeah, I wish you would.

The governor's secretary
got a phone call

from a newspaper columnist
tracking down a rumor:

Corruption in the Five-0 offices.

From a newspaper columnist,
and they're talking about corruption?

- That's funny.
BILL: Well, anyway, she called me,

and inasmuch as this is the only thing
of any consequence

that's come from you to me
in the last few weeks,

I thought I better come over
and check it out.

Well, now you have.

And I've told you
there is no new furniture,

no new equipment,
and I never requisitioned any.

So if you'll excuse me, Bill,
I have work to do.

The state has already
paid out the money, Steve.

To whom?

Not even locked.

Yeah, it's a drop,
nothing but a phony front.

It's working.

Double-faced tape.

Tom? Bill.
About the Pacific Equipment check...

Are you sure?

When?

Don't tell me.

The check has been cashed.

Deposited
in the Pacific Equipment account

at Hawaii National Bank.

Half-hour later, the president
of Pacific Equipment showed up,

withdrew the entire amount.

[SIGN CLATTERS]

You know something, gentlemen?
I've been had.

Neat as you please, I've been set up.

- But why?
- I don't know.

I don't know, but I'm gonna find out.

Thirteen-eight, 13.9, 14,
and change.

[JANICE GIGGLING]

And let us not forget
our generous benefactor,

who made this all possible,
although he doesn't know it,

Mr. Steve McGarrett.

Well, Che?

Steve, you say you didn't sign this,
and I believe you.

But if you hadn't told me,

I'd have to swear
the signature was genuine.

It's the best job of forgery
I've ever seen.

At least explains one thing.

In order to pull the swindle,

they had to have
the proper requisition forms.

That's all they needed,
that's all they took.

So how do we find our paperhanger?

We're dealing with a top pro here,
Danno.

He's cool, skilled and intelligent.

Contact the FBI in Washington.

Get their current list
of top paperhangers.

- Right.
- Oh, one more thing.

In order to forge my signature,
he had to have a copy.

- Now, where did he get it?
- He never touched the letter file.

You haven't been giving out
autographs, have you?

Wait a minute.

The other day,
after the Rotary Club luncheon,

some kid asked me to sign my picture
on the cover of Honolulu Magazine.

He was a Little Leaguer, I think.

He had a green and white
uniform on,

and there was a yellow peak
on his cap.

Chin, I've got a hunch.
See if you can find that kid.

Okay, I'll give it a try.

You know what that little guy said?
He wanted to be a detective. Heh.

Can I just have your endorsement,
Commander Hutton?

How long were they inside?

Twelve minutes 23 seconds.

DANNY: "Carter Finley:
Favorite M.O., postal money orders.

Last known address,
Hartford, Connecticut.

Wesley M. Colton:
Favorite M.O., stolen credit cards.

Last known address, Miami Beach."

- There are a lot more.
- Keep going, Danno.

"Hunter R. Hickey."

Hunter R. Hickey?

"Also known as H.R.H.
Favorite M.O., check forgery."

- You mean he's out?
- Yeah.

Hunter R. Hickey, H.R.H.

I'd almost forgotten about him.

Do you remember a few years ago

we tipped the Detroit Police
about some stolen traveler's checks,

and I had to fly back east
to testify against the forger?

That's he. You sure he's out?

According to the FBI report,
released from Leavenworth May 16.

Maybe this is just a wild hunch,
Danno, or wishful thinking,

but this is just the sort of caper
that H.R.H. Might have dreamed up.

Pull his file.

Now, if he's in the islands,
I wanna talk to him.

Right.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

- Who's there?
- Janice.

Did you see the paper yet?
Listen to this.

"Big carrier task force due into Pearl
Friday from the Far East."

Huh? What do you think?

Friday.

Hmm. That's a tight schedule.

But I think we can make it.

Decision time. Friday is D-day.

Um, H.R.H., didn't you say
that it was absolutely impossible

for Steve McGarrett
to get a make on you?

- I did.
- Well, what about this?

Uh, "At Hawaii Five-0's instigation,

Hawaii Police are combing the state
for a master forger recently released..."

- Let me see that.
- Don't tell us our mastermind goofed.

Impossible.

McGarrett is guessing,
just guessing.

Yeah, but, uh, H.R.H.,

if he does have something on you,
we gotta know by Friday.

Well,

there's one sure way to find out,

isn't there?

Well.

What can I do for you, Hickey?

H.R. H:
Hunter R. Hickey, at your service.

We're old friends, Mr. McGarrett.
You may call me Hunter.

I didn't expect
to see you out so soon.

But you were, of course,
a model prisoner.

H.R. H:
Of course.

- What brings you here?
- The afternoon paper.

- You have, I'm sure, seen it?
McGARRETT: We have.

I gather
that you've been looking for me.

- If so, may I ask the charge?
- No charge, yet.

But we do have a few questions
we'd like to ask.

Ask away.
You see before you a reformed man.

All I want to do is be an honest,
contributing island citizen.

The last thing that I would want
is a misunderstanding with the police.

That all sounds very noble.

We'd like to ask you what you know

about a company
called Pacific Equipment.

And $14,000 worth
of nonexistent office furniture.

Oh, is that what...?

[CHUCKLES]

I heard those rumors.

Very embarrassing for your office,
McGarrett.

And you thought that
that was my little caper,

and I wanted revenge
because you'd put me away?

- It had entered my mind.
- No way.

Oh, those years of my confinement.

Leavenworth is not exactly
a garden spot, you know.

They taught me wisdom,
they really did.

I'm glad.

They showed me the course
that my life should take

after my release.

The straight and narrow.

The way that I could teach others
to avoid the mistakes of my life.

- How would you go about doing that?
- Through my memoirs.

The only reason
that I've come back to the islands

is to write my memoirs.

What would you use for a title?

How about
The Last of the Great Paperhangers?

[LAUGHING]

Not bad, not bad.

I want you to know, in all modesty,

I was always the class
of our profession.

Some of my, uh...

Some of my scores
are still thought of as, well, classics.

I'll send you an autographed copy
of my book.

Signed with your own name?

- That would be a novelty.
H.R. H: Ha, ha.

Far be it for me to mind little jokes
at the expense of my past.

But some things I do mind,
such as this.

Articles planted in the newspapers.

In the future,

unless you have solid evidence
or are proffering charges,

I don't want to read
any more such stories.

I shall be forced to bring legal redress.
Do I make myself clear?

You buy any of that?

Not one word, Danno, not one word.

Our friend came here
for just one reason:

To see if we had anything on him,

because he's planning a big score.

Now, I'll lay you odds on that.

MACK:
How much it cost?

JANICE:
Seventeen-fifty.

Beat him down from 2,100.

How we doing?

- Hey. Beautiful.
H.R. H: Mm-hm.

You could always get a job
as a sign painter if things get tough.

You know, the hours aren't too good,
and as for the pay, forget it.

How about the uniforms?

Oh, they should be ready.
I'll check on them.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Your move, Wan Li.

Since you called,

I have been thinking
about your requirements.

I believe imported talent
might be best.

- Imported from where?
WAN: Seattle, I think.

They can come in the morning,
perform for you,

leave on the noon plane.

How much will they cost?

A thousand apiece,
plus travel expenses.

And, of course, my fee,
another 2,500.

Sounds a little steep.

Mack told me
you would accept nothing but the best.

Very well.

This is Calvin.

He plays right field
for the Kaimuki Sharks.

He got two hits today.

He's the one who asked you
for an autograph.

McGARRETT:
Yeah, he's the one, all right.

Hi, Calvin. Sit up here, will you?

Now, let me ask you something,
just between us.

Did you really want my autograph,
or did someone else ask you to get it?

- How'd you know?
- I'm a detective, remember?

Is this the man?

No, it was a lady.

A real pretty lady.

She gave me $2 and she kissed me.

Ha, ha. This kid's getting too big
for Little League.

- Yeah.
CHIN HO: Ha, ha.

Okay, Calvin, come on.

Take him down and let him look
through the mug books.

Maybe we'll get lucky.

[DOOR OPENS]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

SAILOR:
Here, take that.

- Okay, I'll bring your change, sailor.
- Okay, miss.

- Here you go, hon.
- Hey, what are you doing tonight?

Going home to my husband.

He's a lieutenant commander
in the Shore Patrol.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Steve should be back any minute.

Got your message, Danno.
What's the problem?

You're not gonna believe this.

Actually, there's bad news
and good news.

Again?

The bad news is
last night somebody blew the safe

at the government printing office.

And the good news
is that they didn't take anything.

Right.

Danno, contact the Secret Service.

Get permission for you and Che

to go over that room
with their Lab boys.

Will do.

Steve, about that
building-equipment company.

Building manager says
a girl rented the store for 30 days.

- Paid them in cash.
- And the bank account?

Opened by a dude
who called himself Abner Hobson.

Reddish hair, steel-rimmed glasses.
That's all the cashier could remember.

No make on him anywhere.
Obviously a phony name.

Gentlemen, I think it's time
we paid some very special attention

to our friend Hunter R. Hickey.

I want a 24-hour tail on him.

Now, if our paperhanger so much as
sticks his nose outside his hotel room,

I wanna know about it.

- What I don't see...
- Yes, Frank?

Since we only took one blank check,
how come only 200,000?

- Why not a half a million?
H.R. H: Heh.

Did I ever tell you
how they catch monkeys in Africa?

No.

Well, they take an empty coconut shell
and tie it to a tree

with some nuts inside

and a little hole just big enough
for him to get his hand in.

What the hell's that got to do
with half a million dollars?

The monkey comes along,
sticks in his hand, grabs the nuts.

But the hole's too small for him
to get his fist out,

but he won't let go of those nuts.

He wants them so bad, he won't let go,
and they catch him.

- So?
- So the point is not to be so greedy.

Right.

Two hundred thousand,
a local bank can handle,

but a half a million,

might have to go
to the Federal Reserve.

That means a delay of 48 hours.

Do you want to sit and wait
for 48 hours?

Now, this is something
that might interest you both.

I didn't invent the technique,
but I did...

I did perfect it.

Janice, that Navy payroll check
that you cashed?

First, a length of inked ribbon
of the proper color.

Then a strip of cellophane tape
to cover the ribbon.

Then a sharp stylus
to trace the signature.

I thought you said a traced signature
can be detected.

I did,
but this is a machine signature.

Requires a different technique.

There you are.

Every bit as authentic
as the original machine signature.

That would fool any bank.

So, well, I'd say it's time
for our little phone call.

JANICE:
Mm-hm.

Let's see.

Hawaii National Bank?

May we speak with the cashier,
please?

Pearl Harbor Switchboard calling.

Mr. Darcy?

We have a call for you
from our Fleet Disbursing Office.

Hold on, please.

Hello, Mr. Darcy.
Commander Belding.

Yes, acting disbursement officer
at Pearl.

Commander Hutton's on leave.

Say, Mr. Darcy,
Navy's got a problem.

We've got a big carrier force
coming in today,

and I think that we need
a little more currency

than Commander Hutton drew.

If I brought along
another Treasury check,

could you help us out?

Oh, not much.
Just another 200,000, that's all.

You can? Oh, that's fine, Mr. Darcy.

Navy appreciates it.

Goodbye.

[ALL LAUGH]

[CAR APPROACHING]

Ah.

Here, for you. Thank you.

[KEYS JINGLING]

[ENGINE STARTS]

DANNY: Everything is accounted for
up to here?

HELMS: Yes...
- Mr. Williams?

I don't know
whether this means anything, but look.

This shipment of Treasury checks,

stamped and ready to go out
to the Navy at Pearl,

there's one blank check missing
from the back.

One blank check.

If it were misprinted or damaged,
then it would be stamped void.

But it wouldn't be thrown away.

Get me Steve McGarrett.

That's it, Danno, got to be.

They broke into a government office
and blew a safe,

all for one blank check.

HELMS:
But why?

I could understand
taking Treasury certificates,

bonds, even passport forms.

But a blank government check,
and a Navy check at that?

Oh, they could cash it
for a few hundred dollars, sure,

but not for any larger amount,
no way.

- Why do you say that, Mr. Helms?
HELMS: Navy security procedure.

It would have to be cashed
by a disbursing officer

with the proper credentials,
uniformed armed guards,

and a convoy of Navy vehicles.

I see. Thank you.

Let's go, Danno.

I smell a pro here, Danno.

What is our friend Hunter R. Hickey
doing right now?

Driving around downtown Honolulu
with Chin and Duke on his tail.

They can't make him out.

- Just driving around?
DANNY: Yeah.

Doesn't make sense.
Doesn't feel right.

Oh, Mr. Helms, one more thing.

Would you mind
notifying all Oahu banks

about that stolen check
and the serial number immediately?

HELMS: Certainly.
- Thank you.

All set.

All right, let's go. Very cool.

[ENGINE STARTS]

- Chin Ho.
- [OVER RADIO] McGarrett.

- Yeah, Steve?
McGARRETT: What's your heading?

We're on Waiola Street.

McGARRETT:
His Highness tipped his hand?

Hasn't made a move yet.
He seems to be heading out of town.

McGARRETT:
Stay with him, Chin.

- We're all ready for you, commander.
H.R. H: Mr. Darcy.

Here you are.

- It's all ready to be counted.
H.R. H: Fine.

Commander Hutton and the boys
will appreciate this.

- Correct to the penny.
- If you'll just endorse this?

Yep, all in order.
I'll see you out, commander.

H.R. H:
Ah, thank you.

There's an important phone call
for you, Mr. Darcy.

DARCY:
Have them hold just one moment.

The Navy's grateful
for your cooperation, Mr. Darcy.

- Just keep on defending us.
- Thank you.

They what?

MAN [OVER RADIO]: A Navy officer
cashed that stolen Treasury check

at the Bank of Honolulu
for $200,000.

- Our friend H.R.H., huh?
- How's that possible?

Chin and Duke have been tailing him
all morning.

Yeah.

JANICE:
Officer! Could you help me?

Those two men
have been following me all morning.

[CAR DOOR CLOSES
AND ENGINE STARTS]

I had no idea.
They all seemed so legitimate.

I had no reason to doubt.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

Excuse me for a second.

It wasn't H.R.H. In that car
we were following, Steve.

It was a girl. She tricked us.

So it was our old friend
Hunter R. Hickey after all.

- And he got away with it.
- Yeah, maybe.

Maybe not. Let's go.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

Thank you, boys. Thank you.
First rate. Professional all the way.

See you on the mainland
one of these days.

All right, boys,
on your way as quick as you can.

- Ah. Ha-ha-ha.
- We did it. We did it.

- I just heard it on the radio.
- Did you have any doubts?

Better get going
if we wanna get that plane.

Just one thing
we have to take care of.

The staff car has to go back
where it came from.

Why?

Because if they find it here,
they might trace it to us.

There's nothing to it.

Bring it back to the lot,
we pick you up at the corner,

we zoom right out to the airport.

- Well, I don't like it.
- Trust me.

MACK:
Okay.

H.R. H: There you go.
JANICE: Okay.

- Can you make it, Mack?
MACK: I'm all right.

You're clear.

Uh, hello, Police Department?

The man who took that staff car,
the Navy staff car,

is returning it to the lot
where he got it in just a few minutes.

While the police are busy with Mack,
we'll be on our plane and away.

Why?

Things will be a lot cozier
without him.

- What if he should talk?
- No, he's not gonna talk.

He won't know that we tipped them off.
Now, come along, love.

- Here we go.
- Ha, ha.

WOMAN [OVER PA]: Flight 218
for Los Angeles now ready...

That's us. Uh, you go ahead.

We won't board together
just in case. Ahem.

WOMAN [OVER PA]:
Flight Number 218 for Los Angeles

now ready for boarding at Gate 7.

Thank you. Thank you.

WOMAN [OVER PA]: United Airlines
Flight 68 from San Francisco

is now arriving at Gate 22.

United Airlines Flight 68 from...

Just a moment, sir.

Would you mind
opening that carryon bag?

- What'd you say?
- Would you please open your bag?

- Why?
- For a special security inspection, sir.

Well, isn't this highly irregular?
Uh, whose bright idea was this?

- Mine.
- Damn it.

- What...?
- Do you mind opening it, or shall we?

It's just been through that thing,
you know?

Oh, that valet of mine.

You know, you just can't get good help
these days.

DANNY:
One minute, miss.

Calvin, is this the pretty lady

who paid you
to get Mr. McGarrett's autograph?

CALVIN:
Sure is. Hi.

Could I have a look in that bag,
please?

WOMAN [OVER PA]:
Air Siam Flight 16 for Hong Kong,

passengers are now boarding
at Gate 14.

Well, what do you know?

[JANICE SIGHS]

You know, I just can't figure out
where I went wrong.

Every detail planned,
executed perfectly.

Except one.

Now, when you break
into a man's office,

you should always make it a point
to steal something.

That's what did you in.

Danno, book them.

Aloha.

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