All language subtitles for American.Courtesans.2013.1080p.Amazon.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-QOQ

>> Prostitutes have to be very

clear what they are--

wild clothes, insy-binsy shorts,

go-go boots.

>> That's not moral. I wouldn't

want my daughter doing that.

You wouldn't want your mom doing

it. You wouldn't want your

sister doing that.

>> They are not educated.

They might be on drugs. I can't

believe anyone chooses that.

>> My mom is an escort. My own

belief is sexually you should

only be with one person.

>> It really hurt me bad,

but it woke me up.

>> Oh.

>> He's got the trunk open.

>> [gasps] He's gonna put you

in there?

>> When women in prostitution

were murdered, the police called

them NHIs, "no humans involved."

>> Why should it stay illegal?

>> Because it's illegal.

[laughs]

>> My name is Kristen DiAngelo,

and I've been in the adult

industry 35 years.

>> 35 years.

>> I can't exactly remember

the number of times I've been

beaten or raped, the number of

times I've had a knife held to

my throat or a gun to my head,

held hostage for periods

of time. I've jumped out of

windows. I worked the rough ends

of this area in early years.

The streets are really rough.

I decided to make this film

because I not only survived,

I was lucky enough to flourish.

And identify yourself.

>> OK, my name is Gina DePalma.

I've been a sex worker since--

Hmm. Well, since I was 13.

My parents competed with

the Joneses. Everything was very

copacetic and proper.

>> Tamsen Crown. I've been

in the adult industry for

13 years. Born out of wedlock to

a young woman, a very religious

type of family. I do not know

who my father is. My mother

remarried. Right before I turned

12, my mother had a child with

him, so it was shortly after

that I was sent to go live with

my grandmother.

>> And they sent you away?

>> It is what it is.

>> OK.

>> My name is Pearl Callahan,

and I've been working for

about--probably in the industry

about 38 years.

>> And you just retired.

>> Yep.

>> On the outside, my family

looked pretty normal, and it

probably was.

>> Yeah.

>> From a very early age,

there was somebody who had what

I call a hands-on problem.

>> Mm-hmm.

>> It did a lot to form my ideas

of who I was and the power and

control that I had about men.

I had something that men wanted.

Whatever this thing was, it was

a powerful enough thing to make

good men do bad things.

>> My mother used to say I was

a 40-year-old 9-year-old.

She basically told me I had

everything, the pool in the

backyard, the TV in my room

because--I don't want to say it.

How do I say it? She sucked

my dad's dick for it.

>> Yeah.

>> So, I guess, at that age,

I thought, OK, this is what you

gotta do.

>> There were a total of 9 kids

in the family. My mother left

my father. We had to take on

the responsibility of taking

care of the house and things,

because, you know, he was out

working and trying to provide

for us. He did the best he

could, but, you know, we just

never had enough. You know,

you just run out of stuff.

There's just too much month, OK,

more month than money. He was

a farm boy, a clerk, also was

a custodian, a janitor. On the

side, he would mow lawns and

stuff like that, anything that

he could do to make money. Most

people have a backyard to play

in, right? Well, no, for him,

he saw that as ground. He just

tilled up the whole backyard,

and we had a fantastic garden.

>> During integration, when they

rezoned, I, all of a sudden,

was dropped into probably

the not best neighborhood

in the world.

>> Mm-mmm.

>> It's where I met my first

pimps. It's where I fir--met my

first working girls. I learned

about drugs there, and I learned

a lot about survival.

>> I don't want to cry. This is

the hard part.

>> I know. The early years is

the horrible part.

>> The early part is rough.

She was really physically

abusive--guns and knives and,

you know, scary. The only person

in my life I was ever scared of

was my mother. I'm out on the

streets, and nothing bothers me.

But if, you know, I was to think

I had to go back home,

it was like, overwhelming.

>> Erin Marxxx, and I've been

an escort for 7 years. I lived

with my dad and my stepmother

and my 4 sisters, and we lived

on a houseboat, no plumbing,

no water, no electricity.

We bathed in the river. Our food

came from the river. My dad did

what he could for us. He was

a construction worker. It's the

reason why I work as hard as I

do, because I don't want to ever

not have money. But--Excuse me.

I'm gonna mess up my makeup.

>> It's OK.

>> My dad was good to us. He did

what he could, but, you know,

it's hard, and none--and I don't

do this because of my father or

because we were poor. I do it

because I love my body. I like

the way I look. I can make money

with it. But, you know, my work

ethic is not like most people,

who have--get everything handed

to them. I work as hard as I can

to get where I am now, so--

Can we stop? I don't--I don't

want to be crying on the camera.

>> You know what? It's OK.

It really is.

>> I hate talking about

my family. I want to change

the subject.

>> Look up.

>> I mean, I started working

when I was 14, just 'cause

I wanted to have school clothes

to go to school with. When, you

know, the first day of school

starts and you want all of the

things that everybody else is

gonna have. But my sisters never

did that, and I usually ended up

having to buy them stuff, 'cause

they never went to work. They've

never really wanted to do--

have a job.

>> Like we--Right now?

Mm-hmm. Right now.

>> My name is Skylar Cruz,

and I've been an escort

for 5 years.

>> Your mother met

your father where?

>> In the Marine Corps. They

were--They both met in Quantico,

I think. From what I hear,

it wasn't too serious until

they found out that I was in

the picture. We knew that they

didn't really like each other

anymore at a certain point, so,

yeah, it was not the best time.

My mom, she kind of had

a breakdown after that, like,

after she realized what was

going on behind her back and how

long it had been going on behind

her back. She did try to, uh--

>> She had a hard time, huh?

>> Yeah. It was kind of like

I was--[sighs]

It was kind of like I was

baby-sitting her for a while,

because she just wasn't there.

>> So...

>> So I had to be the person

that was in charge of my brother

and my sister, because either

my mom was at the clinic for,

like, 2 weeks, you know, after

each incident or--My dad had

already moved out. There were

some times I just didn't sleep

for days, 'cause I was

so stressed out, and I was

the oldest person there,

and I had to be responsible

for everything.

>> I was a good student, and I

worked really hard, and I cooked

dinner every night for our

family, and I just wanted them

to love me, like, really love

me, or protect me, care,

pay attention.

>> When I first ran away, I was

working as a nanny, and the

couple that I worked for, with

their lovely little daughter,

was the owner of the main strip

clubs in all of Corpus Christi.

They gave me a job working in

one of their clubs. I had gone

to all kinds of dance schools.

I played the piano, gymnastics,

so when I got onstage, that was

my outlet to be creative, and I

didn't take to stripping that it

was shady or bad. I just thought

it's what I'm doing. I'm making

a living. I have a car. I have

an apartment. I'm supporting

myself. I'm not being abused,

and I'm in a good place. That's

where I stayed until they got

me, the police got me and put me

in juvie, about when I was 13,

late 13, going 14.

>> My father was a hippie, a

real hippie. I would spend time

in the summer and at Christmases

in a commune. It was really

wonderful. The women and I, we'd

cook in the kitchen, and I felt

like somebody was there. There

was music, laughter, and it was

wonderful, and that changed,

though, too. I was there,

and there was this band playing,

and, you know, you're 15.

>> [laughing] Yeah.

>> And there was this singer

up there, and I mean, this man

had a fricking voice on him. At

the end of the night, this guy

comes to me, and he goes, "Oh,

oh, you're coming home with me

and Angel," 'cause it was this

guy and this woman, and they had

this little daughter. Before we

left, I kept saying to him,

"I need to tell my dad. I need

to tell my dad." And he goes,

"Oh, he knows. He knows. It's

fine. He knows." We used these

candle lights, you know, and we

walked through the forest.

We get to this house,

and somewhere in there, it dawns

on me that it's just me and him

and his daughter.

>> Where was the woman?

>> And I'm like, "Where am

I gonna sleep?" And he says,

"Well, we only have one bed,

so in there with me." And I

remember wanting to leave, and I

said something, and he said,

"Well, go." And I was like,

"I don't even have a light,

and there's a snowstorm, and I'm

in the middle of the forest."

I didn't go back to Takilma

anymore. That was my last time

there. So then I just had to go

home. I began having mental

problems and emotional problems.

And--And back then, you know,

people didn't really get help.

They don't take you anywhere.

You become the problem child.

>> He was always talking to us.

"You gotta be careful, 'cause

you can get pregnant," and all

that kind of stuff, so it's not

like I didn't know. So when

I did get pregnant, I was too

afraid to tell him, because

I was so ashamed. I had to tell

him, because eventually he's

gonna know, so I had the

neighbor lady tell him. I didn't

know what I was gonna do.

I was 16 years old,

and I was pregnant.

>> So what did you do?

>> In those days, it was before,

like, they had legal abortions,

right? And so I was even

considering something like that

because--out of fear.

>> Yeah, I was sent to go live

with my grandmother shortly

after they married. I got

Christmas presents that year

from that whole side of the

family, and then, after that,

I never really heard from 'em.

She was the secretary of the

local Methodist church, very

religious, oppressive. I was not

allowed to speak to anybody who

was urban. I wasn't allowed to

listen to rap music. I remember

one time she walked in on me

listening to Ice Cube and

George Clinton's "Bop Gun," and

she ripped the cassette tape out

of the player and told me that

there were demons coming out

of my speakers. I mean, she was

a scary woman. She was horrible,

but on the outside,

she maintained a very religious,

you know, "I believe in God,

and I'm gonna use that because

you're not perfect, and that's

my--" You know? You know.

I mean, we all know.

>> Yeah.

>> And, you know, she played

it--She played it to a T.

>> They put me in a cell with

a very big bulldyke, who decided

to tell me she was gonna sell me

for cigarettes. And I'm looking

at her and I--They were trying

to scare me. I don't know. She

may have been a police officer,

for all I know. "How old are

you? We know you're not 21."

I said, "I'm 21," so they put me

in jail as a 21-year-old. When I

got out, I was on probation.

I was in Houston. This guy came

in, and he was very easy to talk

to. I was hustling champagne and

stripping, and he said, "Oh,

I see a star in you. You love it

up onstage." And I was like,

"Yes, I do. It's my favorite

place." So he says, "My wife is

Miss Nude Universe. I made her

a star. I can make you a star."

>> My Holy Roller grandmother

took me to court because I threw

a party when she was out of town

and--took me to court and sued

me for this, and my punishment

was I was sent to this reform

school in Fayetteville,

North Carolina, for 30 days.

Bam, you're going here one day,

and, bam, you know, forget

everyone you went to school with

and all your friends. You're

getting sent off here. You know,

and it just moved so fast.

Between my mother being gone all

of a sudden, it was like, bam.

"Here. You're going to this

place, and you're going to this

place," and I just--I didn't

have time to think about it.

But I found that I had a lot

in common with the other people

that I was there with.

>> I grew up in the Midwest, in

a very conservative, religious,

borderline extremist family.

I felt very alone in childhood.

It was a little rough because

of the shame that was put upon

me by the religion. I had to be

perfect. Even if I was perfect,

it wasn't good enough.

There was just something always

different about me, and they

didn't like it. It was--It was

almost like I had too much life,

too much energy, too much

goofiness, and they had to,

like, squash it.

>> My name is Norma Jean

Almodovar, and I am a sex worker

rights activist, and I've been

a sex worker, an artist, and a

sculptor and a cartoonist and a

wife, sister and a daughter and

an aunt for a long, long time,

and I'm gonna be 61 years old

this year, so I guess you'd call

me an old whore. I was the first

girl. I have 3 older brothers,

and I have 10 siblings that came

after me. When my mom started

having lots of kids, that's when

she became very religious.

I don't know why, but she did.

For 18 years of my life, all I

remember is changing diapers and

feeding babies and being

a nurturer and a--and a giver.

>> I grew up here in the

San Francisco Bay area. I had

a very typical childhood.

>> How old were you when you

got married?

>> I was 25 years old when

I got married.

>> And then you got pregnant?

>> My son is a young man with

autism. The first time,

they say, "I'm really sorry.

Your son is never going to talk.

He's never going to read.

You're gonna have to bring him

back when he's 12, and we'll

institutionalize him for you."

It took me 48 hours of stunned

pain, and then I said,

"Oh, yeah?"

>> We go to this after-hours

concert, and we're dancing, and

we're with this band. I mean, we

have this, like, private room,

and it's like--You know, I mean,

I didn't come from money.

>> Yeah.

>> It was, like, cool,

and I felt important.

>> Yeah.

>> And, like, they actually

brought out guitars,

and everybody's singing,

and somebody brings out this

joint and passes it to me. Well,

I smoked pot at my dad's.

>> Yeah.

>> Those were the days

of the shit called angel dust

and rocket fuel. Do you

remember that?

>> They used to soak things

in formaldehyde.

>> All of a sudden, the room

started looking weird. Their

music started sounding weird.

Sally was at the door, and I was

trying to tell her something,

but I couldn't get my voice out,

and she was leaving, and I

didn't know why she was leaving.

And they took me into the other

room and...

>> Go ahead.

>> One after another. I was

begging them to let me go.

I just wanted out again. I kept

thinking, "I can't believe this.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

How come--does this fucking keep

happening? I just want out." One

after another, and then there

was this guy, and I was asking

him, "Please help me. Please

don't do this." And when he was

finished, he said, "Get your

clothes," and he helped me get

dressed and got me down to my

car, and when I could finally

drive, I went home, and of

course--Where the fuck was I all

night? My mother went fucking

off on me, and I tried to tell

her what had happened, and I

started crying. And the second

I started crying, she told me,

"You know what? Go up to your

room, and you can come down when

you can act like a lady." So I

went up to my room. I pulled

myself together, and I made

a decision that that was never

gonna fucking happen to me

again. It was never gonna happen

to me again. I was wrong, but it

was never gonna happen to me

again. Later in life, I got

diagnosed as being bipolar,

but nobody did that back then.

I don't know that they even knew

what that was. And I was manic

a lot of the times. I barely

slept. I was inquisitive. I was

unmanageable. I know that.

But I wanted help. I know,

by this time, the way I dressed

was very provocative. I'm not

gonna lie.

>> Yes.

>> And I know that I understood

the power of sexuality. I just

didn't understand still what

that meant.

>> I was approached by a man

that I knew, and asked me if he

could take me out. I thought,

well, why would he--You know,

no, because he's too old.

He asked me can I do this or can

I do that? I was always refusing

him. And I remember this one

time I had some clothing that

needed to go in the dry

cleaners, and I didn't have

the money for it, and he gave me

$50. That was like a lot

of money to me. I didn't know

at the time that he was grooming

me, but I was being groomed.

One time, he came to pick me up,

and he said, "I've been doing

a lot for you." That's when

I learned that now he wanted

to collect on the debt. I was

really scared, so I--What I did

was I had sex with him. Well,

I let him have sex with me was

what I let him do, because I

really didn't participate.

>> I ended up losing myself.

I lost me. I became the mom and

the therapist and the advocate.

I started to realize, hey,

you know, the kids are good now.

I needed to find out who I was.

As I started to do that,

exploring my own sexuality was

a big part of that.

>> I had this friend. She went

to Nevada. She had, like, money.

I said, like, "Where'd you get

that money?" Right? And I was

like, "Wow." It's like,

"Well, can I go up there, too?

Can I get some, too?"

>> I fell in love with a man.

I kind of said, "I've always

been curious about this."

He says, "You know what? It's an

incredible industry, and you

could make some money." So we

kind of researched it and said,

"Wow!" You know? We read some

articles on courtesans and

escorts. I said, "Yeah, I could

do this. You know, this is

an outlet for me for, you know,

all of this sexual exploration."

>> God, I was so stupid. So I

open up the newspaper, OK. They

have all these ads that say,

"You can make this much money

in a week. No experience

necessary."

Blah-de-blah-de-blah. And I'm

thinking, "I can do that."

>> [laughs]

>> I think it was like

20 minutes for $6.00, and we got

half of it. You know? I mean,

it was really sad. But, I mean,

I was like, "Wow, 3 bucks."

Fuck. Like...

>> We're rolling in dough here.

>> I can retire! Yeah.

And I remember when I rang

the doorbell, and this woman

answered. And she was, like,

fricking amazing, this

strawberry red hair, Farrah

Fawcett type hair, you know.

She was holding this Pomeranian

in her hand that looked just

like her, you know? Like, I was

scared about going to a job

interview. I thought they were

gonna ask me about if I'd given

massages and this and that and

all this stuff. And it was like

she was fricking gorgeous.

I'd never even been taught about

how to do my hair. You remember.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> I didn't take care of myself.

>> Well, it was just you.

>> And she actually told me,

"You know, we can do this. Like,

I can help you."

>> So I took off with this guy

to go to Vegas, to go be a star.

We stopped in Dallas, of all

places, where I ran away from.

He says, "Well, you're gonna

have to dance. You're too fat.

You need to lose weight." He

made me dance in topless bars,

because he said I'd be more

active and get the weight off

faster, because there was no way

he could take me to Vegas. I was

only 10 pounds overweight, but

that 10 pounds was gonna make

a big difference.

>> My grandmother busts

in my room and said, "We have

a Greyhound ticket for you.

You can go find your mother in

Florida." So I packed my things,

and I was given an envelope

with my birth certificate,

a notarized document that said

I could sign for myself, and,

like, some prescriptions for,

like--I don't know, Ritalin or

some other thing that was overly

pushed at the time. I had worked

at my godfather's law firm,

so I had the whole 50 words

per minute, clerical skills

down. I'm so sorry.

>> What I want to know is you

got put on a bus.

>> Mm-hmm.

>> OK, to your mother's house.

>> Mm-hmm.

>> To find your mother.

>> Yeah.

>> OK, what I want to know,

what happened with that?

>> She was never even

at that address.

>> I guess I can say I was

excited, because living with my

mother was gonna be a complete

different life, and I always

said I wanna live with my mom.

You know, you think the grass

is always gonna be greener

on the other side, and I'll tell

you I was like the worst kid

ever when I moved with her,

'cause she, you know, wasn't

really there for us. One day, we

went through her stuff while she

was sleeping, and we found all

these bras and panties and shoes

and this makeup kit that she

always takes with her. We were

like, "Mom, what do you do?"

and she was like, "Get out of

my stuff!" I think after that,

I started to just sort of rebel

against her, because I didn't

understand why she was

stripping, and I didn't--

You know, I thought it was, you

know, inappropriate for my mom,

and it's just, once again,

another lifestyle that I'm in

that's completely different from

the average family. She threw me

out of the house, like, within a

year. I didn't really get a job

at a strip club until I was 18.

>> Within 3 days, I had a job

working in an accounting firm.

My first paycheck, I realized

that I couldn't survive on that.

I got another job bartending, so

now I'm going from 8 A.M. until

5 P.M. and then from 6 P.M.

until 3:00, and I just didn't

wake up one day, 'cause I was

exhausted after a few weeks

of this. So I go in, and they're

like, "You've been fired." Well,

it ends up that the secretary

had gone to the bar I was

working at in downtown Sarasota

and told them my real age.

And I walk in there. They looked

at me like I was a complete

stranger, and they said,

"You're under the age of 18.

You have to leave the bar."

And I remember it was like, all

these people were my friends,

and it was like pins and

needles just went up and down

my skin. I walked out, and I was

like, "Fuck." You know, it was

like, "What am I gonna do?" I'm

not going back there to be sent

to another place. I don't know

what to do. And this guy, like,

I'd smoked pot with a few times

after the bar, he came out, and

he goes, "Hey." He goes, "I know

how you can make money." And he

pointed me in the direction of

the Sarasota airport, and there

were all these massage parlors,

and he's like, "Just go here.

Go to these places." At that

moment, my main focus was to

survive. My main focus was not--

My main focus was to survive and

to put a roof over my head and

eat that day.

>> And so you were underage

when you--

>> I was 16. Mind you, I was

always very sexual, and I was

always very developed, and I was

always attracted to both men and

women. I gotta say to this day

I never did anything I didn't

want to do in there.

>> Yeah.

>> I was searching Craigslist

at school. I was like, oh,

they sell other things on this

website. And the next thing you

know, it's just this world just

opens up. It was just like

everything. It was like,

for some reason, I was always

fascinated about prostitution

and streetwalkers. When I did

see that I had an opportunity to

at least, you know, try it out,

see whether or not I liked it,

I jumped at it. I wasn't really

concerned about what he was

going to look like physically.

I was just hoping that he wasn't

a serial killer or anything

like that.

>> Where did you see

your first guy?

>> At my room at my mom's house.

>> How much money did he

pay you?

>> I got $120 for not even

30 minutes, I don't think.

I was--When I got that money

in my hand, I was like--I never

had so much money in my hand

in my life, and I got it just

doing that? I was like--[laughs]

It was like, please tell me that

this is a joke, because this is

just too easy.

>> One night at leaving

the club, they followed me, they

drugged me, they took my money,

and they were trying to rape me.

If I hadn't had the gun

underneath the seat, this guy

probably would have gotten me.

He didn't get to rape me. When

I'd got back to the hotel room,

he was mad at me and told me

I was late. I'm like, "What are

you going to do?" and he goes,

"Oh, you'll see." You know,

and--But he wasn't--Like he

didn't beat me. He mind-fucked

me. In a very subtle kind

of way, trying to intimidate me,

he would clean the gun in front

of me. "OK, so is he gonna kill

me or what?" 'Cause he doesn't

really say it. But there's

still--It's a whole form of

intimidation. And then when we

got to Nevada, I found out the

punishment was going to a ranch

and having to give all my money

to him. Everybody always said--

I don't want to stereotype,

you know, black pimps, this and

that. I had an old white man

for a pimp. [laughs]

>> Yeah.

>> Very clever guy.

>> It was so hard for me to tell

my dad that I wanted to go and

prostitute myself to take care

of my son. I had to let him know

that it was nothing that he did,

OK? It was my choice, and he's

been a good father. He's done

everything for me, and he's

raised me so good, and that's

why I have to be responsible.

"I'm just afraid that you just

won't love me anymore, because

I--you'll think that I'm--you

know, I'm dirty, I'm tainted,

I'm--You want better for your

daughter. I know you do."

I said, "But this is what I feel

I need to do. I don't want to go

on welfare. I don't want to do

anything like that." I was

crying, and he just lifted up my

chin. He just looked me in the

eye. He just told me how proud

he was of me, 'cause he knew how

hard that was for me.

>> My first experience escorting

was terrifying. I was terrified

and exhilarated at the same

time. It was quite

the dichotomy.

>> Yeah.

>> It is like the roller

coaster, raising your hands

at the top of the hill and

flying down.

>> My first encounter with a

pimp was an agreement to get an

I.D., and I would go work with

him for the weekend. I thought

I was smart, and he tells me,

"You're a white girl. This is

your first time. You can get

a lot of money. Don't take less

than 20 bucks."

>> [laughs]

>> Right. So, I'm like, "OK,

OK." You know, this is

the seventies.

>> I know, I know, I know.

>> This is the seventies.

>> I know. That was a lot

of money back then, OK?

>> And I'm this kid in high

school, and I'm walking through

the semis.

>> And what are you doing?

Are you knocking on the doors?

>> All I had to do is walk.

>> You're just walking?

>> And they started calling out

to me. They knew why I was

there. And I crawl up into this

truck. I talk to him, and I told

him the truth. I said, "I'm

really scared. This is what's

going on, and this is what I'm

doing, and I can't take less

than 20 bucks, or I'm gonna get

in trouble."

>> [laughs]

>> This guy spends time with me,

but he gives me an extra 20 and

tells me to put it away in my

pocket, and I think now I could

get out. We get back to the

hotel room, and these guys take

out this powder, and they tell

me to snort it, which I didn't

even know what that was back

then. You know, they hand me a

straw, and they say snort this.

You know, a lot of people, the

first time they do heroin, throw

up. They flash. I remember when

that went in my system,

everything was OK. Thank you.

Just like what I was looking

for. They searched my pockets

and found the extra 20.

>> What happened?

>> I remember being drug into

the bathroom, and one guy was

saying remember not to mark up

her face. Was slamming me into

the wall, but it was all OK.

Being raped in the shower and

trying to breathe because

the water was in my face, but it

really didn't matter.

>> You didn't feel it anyway.

>> So that was the first time

I was raped by a pimp.

>> My first job, the gentleman

had a penis pump. He just wanted

you to watch, and go, "Oh,"

which I don't think I faked,

'cause I hadn't--I was just so--

I was kind of on a--"Oh," you

know? But, you know, that was my

first job was watching a guy use

a penis pump. And again, you

know, I always was very sexual.

I remember masturbating early.

I was always developed early.

I--Again, I was always attracted

to women early.

>> Do you remember the amount

you got paid the very

first time?

>> $80 to watch the penis pump.

>> She put in the good word for

me and got me into a brothel.

Well, when I got there and this

lady that ran the place saw me,

first of all, my complexion is

very, very dark. To her, that

connotates she's not gonna make

any money. The other thing was

I was a T.O., I was a turn-out.

I didn't know anything, so I had

2 strikes against me, OK? First,

I--I really had three. I was

black, I was dark black, and I

didn't know anything. And she

wasn't the type of person that

was going to mentor me.

And I had to stay there 3 weeks.

You enter a contract,

like a verbal contract.

>> And you better keep

your word.

>> Oh, yeah. Your word is all

you have, all you have.

Plus there was still a lot of

prejudice. I mean, there still

is today, but it was a much

different time back then.

>> And us girls there had to see

everybody, except for black

people. If we did go see black

guys, we would take 'em around

to our room a different way

so nobody else could see 'em.

>> Mm-hmm.

>> I never saw my money.

I couldn't deal with it, though,

because it was like $5.00 a pop.

$5.00 a pop. They'd take half.

It was a safe place. I mean, I

was not hurt. I just didn't have

any money, and I was working

like a crazy person. Because

they'd come from Canada down

there during hunting season, and

it's, like, nuts. I found myself

being proud that I could get

50 bucks. That's how I learned

how to hustle, and then he took

me to Mustang Ranch.

>> When you come out,

they already know who you are,

because everybody knows

everybody in town.

>> Yeah.

>> I didn't look like the local

ladies. You know, they were

more like--

>> It's Nevada.

>> Yeah, it's Nevada, you know,

pioneer women. You know,

nothing wrong with that either.

You would walk past somebody.

They would follow you with their

eyes. They would give you dirty

looks, literally be following

you around the damn store.

>> I remember the first time

I walked in and I was with you.

You were going, "Come on,

come on," and I looked at these

women all staring at us, and it

was like you could see, like,

hatred. You just don't want

anybody to hurt you, didn't

want a problem. You just got in

and out.

>> Invisible.

>> Get what you need to. Yeah.

>> That same camaraderie that

I never felt from my family, I

found that in those houses. The

thing about the massage parlors

that I always did like is they

were a nice house, very nice spa

atmosphere, very clean. There

were some people in there that

just did certain things. There

were some people that went all

the way. There were some people

that just did BDSM. There were

some--I mean, you set your own

limitations. It was up to you.

A house fee was paid, and into

the room you went, and it was

actually going into that room

that I learned my

negotiating skills.

>> Within 6 months of living

with my husband, he raised his

hand to me, and I left, and I

never went back. I don't know

what primal instinct came over

to me to say I wasn't putting up

with that. I'd rather be

homeless. And it was the street

girls, they took me under their

wing and were kind to me.

I actually got my first

prostitution arrest before I'd

ever turned my first trick.

>> My name is Emma Dupree, and

I've been an escort for 2 1/2

years. I have 2 wonderful

parents who've been married for

over 33 years, still very madly

in love with each other. I had

a great childhood growing up.

I got a 4-year degree and then

went into the real-estate

market.

>> What happened? I mean,

obviously 8 years,

that's a career.

>> Right. I had a great career

in real estate. I loved it.

I mean, I still love it to this

day. The economy really crashed

in Florida and took a lot

of people with it.

>> So I thought I'm gonna give

it one more chance. I'm gonna

try it one more time, but this

time, I'm gonna find the place.

That was the best decision I

could have made, was to--for me

to take control. The woman that

ran the house, the owner,

I could not believe it. She was

like--She was like my saving

grace. She took an interest in

me. She would tell me how cute

I was, and she reinforced what

I already thought I knew, but it

was just in my own head. As far

as hustle, she taught me you

have to engage in conversations

and you have to be able to do

more than just be physical,

which is--That's the one thing

that she planted in my head was

this is not just about this.

This is about so much more.

So that was why--That was

a pleasant experience for me, so

it was a no-brainer. I was gonna

keep doing what I was doing.

>> I was at the point where

I was bartending at night,

and I was still struggling to do

real estate during the day.

After spending the gas money and

the marketing, I, you know,

was going broke, so I started

selling everything that I owned

on Craigslist. It was

definitely a humbling moment,

because I'm on the bus, and I

would have never saw myself

there. One day, while I was

putting what I owned on

Craigslist, I was like, I gotta

find another job, so I started

looking, and then I looked

through the adult jobs,

and that's when I ended up sort

of connecting with an agency.

>> After my arrest when I got

the idea to go in the business,

I actually had a girlfriend that

was a street girl, that kind of

walked around with me and helped

me get my first date.

>> My first client, it was

like meeting a new friend,

hanging out, and then, you know,

obviously I got laid.

>> There you go.

It wasn't that bad.

>> And he was a nice guy. You

know, yeah, and it was--It was

a good experience for me. I've

always been the kind of girl

that can separate emotion

and sex. It was just another

day, and then when I counted

the money, I was like, "Oh,

my God, my electricity is not

gonna be turned off." [laughs]

And then it was almost kind of

a sense of empowerment

afterwards.

>> Finally I got the nerve. I'd

stash a little money every time

he put me in the ranch, and I'd

stash, and he caught me. He took

everything away from me. I told

him I wanted to leave, and he

said OK. But I kind of felt like

this guy could just kill me and

leave me here. So he had me

scared, not like my mother

scared, but scared. [laughs]

Because I told him while he

was cleaning the gun that I was

leaving, and he gave me

a quarter, and he said, "OK.

Here's a quarter. You can call

somebody who cares." So I said,

"But I can go?" And he goes,

"Yeah," and I said, "All right.

I'm out of here."

>> How old were you

at this point?

>> 14.

>> I worked in massage parlors

until a week after I turned 18.

Ever since I was a little girl,

I remember wanting to go to

New York City. There were always

ads in this free press. "Come

to Manhattan and be a model and

make $5,000 to $10,000 a week."

I know it was really stupid,

but that's what I did with $56

in my pocket, and I didn't even

realize that the cab fare from

JFK was like 30 and change. A

few snapshots were taken of me,

and I was sent to see a client,

Joe. Now, mind you, this was all

within a few hours of going

there. Joe, very successful

dot-com something or the other.

Joe liked to freebase.

>> So I walked over to go to

the pay phone and call somebody.

[laughs] Somebody who gave

a shit, but thank God for a girl

that I had met on a call that

was really nice to me, and she

became my savior. She brought me

to her house. She changed my

entire look, gave me highlights,

bought me $5,000 worth

of clothes. She said, "You're

gonna pay me back." I said,

"Oh, yes, I'll pay you back.

I have no problem with it. Just

please don't let him find me."

2 weeks, I bought a car, paid

her back for all the clothes,

and moved into my own apartment

across the street from where she

lived and was on my way.

>> They're nice guys. They're--

I haven't met any that have

been, you know, just out to hurt

you or anything like that.

They're just the average guy

walking down the street.

>> I've been seeing girls now

for about 11 years. I started in

late 2000 after a divorce. I'd

been married for about 15 years.

I came home and found her

visiting, shall we say, with the

delivery service guy, and that

made me decide it was time

to get out of that relationship.

>> My first sexual experience

was with a prostitute in New

York City in a little room on

a little couch. Whenever someone

says, "What was your first

sexual experience?" they're

shocked. Most guys got lucky

and got laid in high school,

but we never got laid

in high school.

>> 50% of clients that I see

have wives who use sex

as a tool.

>> I started seeing escorts 10

years ago mainly because I was

very unhappy with my marriage

and women and my wife was not

doing what I wanted to be done

to me that an escort would do.

>> I do spend a lot of time

at work, and I really don't find

myself a lot of free time for

dating. I also don't find myself

in a position where I'm meeting

a lot of single women.

The industry of providers has

provided another way to meet

women, at least on

a temporary basis.

>> The other half are men whose

wives' libidos are gone.

You know, they're just not

interested anymore. Either way,

they're skin hungry.

>> People say, "Well, don't you

feel bad about doing other

people's husbands?" And a lot

of men are scared, because their

wives are very religious.

They're scared to bring up,

"Well, I like a strap-on," or,

"I want to see your feet."

Some men don't even get oral sex

from their wives.

>> Mm-hmm. I hear that a lot.

>> And if a woman, God,

you know, bless them,

has mastectomies or problems

like I've had, female problems,

they don't--They don't want

to have sex anymore. They don't

feel pretty.

>> My wife was diagnosed with

cancer, and things went very

badly for her, which changed our

relationship. We decided

that--Obviously we were

in a relationship, we had

a partnership that worked great,

we cared for each other,

but that it was appropriate

for me to go elsewhere to take

care of my sexual needs.

>> I really value men that stay

with their families and that are

dedicated to raising their

children even though things

aren't real good with the wife,

and I validate them, and I tell

them those are the important

things and sex really isn't

gonna matter when you're old.

Your wife's your best friend.

You've been with her 20, 30

years. She's the one you want in

the rocking chair next to you.

>> I used to ask Pearl for

advice. I'd only gone out with

my wife a couple of times, and I

said, "How do you think I should

approach her? 'Cause I want to--

I want to kiss her, and I don't

want to be, you know, too

forward." So she told me, "When

you sit on the couch with her,

put your hand over her hand and

take your time," and stuff like

that. 'Cause I'd been out of the

dating world for a long time.

So she was not only a sexual

outlet for me, she was a friend,

and she still is a friend.

>> Professional, over 40.

I've been married for 14 years.

After the crash...

I spiraled into depression.

>> To watch a man walk in

shuffling and walk out standing

tall, knowing that he's sexy and

desirable. They're human beings.

They have souls. They have

hearts. They need this.

>> My first sexual experience

was when I was in my teens, and

it was with the neighbors' son.

You have to understand that

I was raised in a strict,

conservative home.

>> Men have been shamed about

their sexuality from the time

they get caught masturbating

by their mother as a teenager.

Everyone's telling 'em not

to play with it, it's bad. We're

so focused on shaming people.

>> My first experience was with

a woman who only did strap-on

and massage. That was one

of my desires. I didn't feel

guilty. I didn't feel shamed.

It was just me.

>> I think what they like about

me the most is I treat them like

a person. Even if someone's into

something or has an idea that's

foreign to me or I don't agree

with, if it's not dangerous,

I don't judge them. Even if I

don't understand why it is you

like to play with pink balloons.

>> These women helped me through

my time of discovery,

providing a safe, nonjudgmental

environment. There's something

very wonderful about being able

to be yourself with another

human being when society is

telling you, "This is wrong,"

and you know in your heart that

this is exactly what you need.

>> I want to talk about some of

the areas you specialize in and

work in, because a lot of people

don't know that we all pick what

we do.

>> I work as a--you know, a GFE,

a girl-friend experience escort,

which would be the regular

escort that most people

think of, but I also work

in the fetish and S&M. For fear

of judgment, they don't tell

anybody they have these urges.

And they're not bad urges.

They're just--They're just

different from what mainstream

America wants to consider, you

know, a normal sexual--a vanilla

urge, if you will. I've learned

things along the way that people

have asked for that I'm like,

"What?!" And then I tried it,

and I was like, "That was

actually pretty cool."

>> When I first started, I was

about $120 an hour at that time,

and I thought that was awesome.

It wasn't until a lot later

that I decided to, you know,

think about what kind of escort

I wanted to be and how I wanted

to present myself.

>> First time that I tried it,

I really didn't have any idea

of what it would be like or what

she would be like. I really

didn't have any expectations,

so it was a little

nerve-racking. But after meeting

them, I found that they were

much more intelligent,

sophisticated than I was

expecting.

>> 80% of my clientele are

regulars, people that I've seen

before, people that I've

garnered a relationship with,

and I do go on trips, college

games, historical places,

Civil War trails.

>> When I was very young,

I suffered an injury, and ever

since that time, I felt a little

different. I felt a little

inferior to everybody else.

I never had much relationship

with women early on in my life.

My wife and I...

had a sexual relationship that

was not very satisfying.

She never, to my knowledge,

had an orgasm for years

and years and years.

>> And one of the things that

you develop as a courtesan is

the skill to find the beauty

in everyone, whether or not that

is a couple that you're seeing,

a woman that you're seeing,

older, younger, bigger, smaller.

I love sexual energy. I love

feeding off of it. I love

amplifying it. I love feeding it

back to someone. That's the joy.

I don't really make

a distinction between gender at

all. Although, I do--You know,

girls are squishy and soft,

and they smell really good.

Women smell better!

>> I was going to say, yeah,

there's a difference in that

sometimes. I don't know how

to put that, but yes.

>> There is something beautiful

about everyone, and it's just

knowing how to find that inside

people that makes your job.

And once you focus on the

beautiful part of who they are,

the rest is easy.

>> He was a much older man.

He was about 30--I'd say

30 to 40 years older than I was.

I think he had some kind

of accident or something, so he

had--As far as his mobility,

he couldn't move around that

much, so I had to be the one

to be, you know.

>> I found a well of compassion

in me for people that are

disabled, that are deformed.

People talk about the clients

and, "Well, this guy's ugly,"

or, "This guy's whatever."

And I'm like, "It's not

about what he looks like.

It's about what he needs."

>> I came across these letters,

and I discovered that she had

been having an affair.

The thing that particularly was

so hard for me was it had gone

on for so long. I confronted her

with it. She told me that she

was sorry and she was gonna

stop. She perhaps did

for a little while. I had been

faithful to my wife for over 20

years. I thought, well, shit, if

she can do it, I can do it, too.

>> He had polio when he was very

young. His mother brought him.

I would take his braces off

of his legs and his arms, and I

would put him in bed, and I

would make love to him. He

couldn't reciprocate. There was

no way he could have a normal

relationship, because he

couldn't make love to a woman.

He needed someone to make love

to him, to give him pleasure, to

give him some sort of experience

that other people take for

granted. He was so happy that

he could spend time with me.

So many people out there that

are so lonely, that have no one,

that can't find anyone, and sex

is one of the best things you

can do for yourself. I mean,

it's good for you. It reduces

stress. It prolongs life. Why do

we want to deny this to people

who can't have a normal

relationship like other people?

So to have someone who is

a professional sex care giver,

that is a--that is an amazing

thing for them and for me and

for the women that I know that

have had these kinds of men

as clients. It's a wonderful

experience.

>> It's increased my

self-esteem. I still have my

physical issue, but I know that

there are people out there that

can like me for who I am

despite that.

>> When I started in this

business, I didn't think that

I was good enough to be a call

girl. No matter what you look

like, as long as you love

yourself, other people will love

you, too. And I used to hear

that and think that's such

a load of shit, but it's really

not. It's true. You walk with

confidence and you own yourself,

and everybody else just, you

know--They're attracted to that.

>> The gentlemen that I've met

in this industry saved my life.

The gentlemen that I've met

in this industry gave me

self-esteem, because they taught

me that I'm a valuable human

being, and I didn't know that

before. I'm so thankful for this

industry, because I've really

discovered who I am and what

I have to offer to people.

>> I was happily married

for about 10 years, and then

the last 8 years of my marriage

started to go downhill. And I

gained a lot of weight. I was

unhappy with myself. My wife was

unhappy with me. The kids were

unhappy with us. I was at a low

point in my life, no self-esteem

whatsoever. Once the kids grew

up, I started to think about my

life as a man again, as opposed

to just a father trying

to survive.

>> People will say, "Well, when

are you gonna do something else?

You're too smart to be doing

this." But for me, this is what

I love. I love people. I love

finding out about people. I like

to hear all the details

of their lives.

>> Internally, I wouldn't change

a thing. I would never change

anything that I've done in the

last 10 years, nothing. We go

dancing. We go to concerts. We--

You know, I'm having the time

of my life, and there are plenty

of people my age that aren't.

>> This is what I do, and I

enjoy it, and I like it, and I

think it's a healthy thing.

I think it prevents cancer.

[laughs]

>> That is not a medical

opinion. OK, just put

the disclaimer on there.

We don't want problems.

>> No, but I think, you know,

if you take care of yourself

in the ways that we human beings

are supposed to take care

of ourselves, you know, I mean,

it's in our DNA. Just honor

yourself, honor your body,

honor what we need, and we

need intimacy.

>> I had the high life, just

money rolling, cars rolling, and

I'm 14. Come on. You can't tell

me not to do that. Go back

to school, do something else?

I would have been like, "Are you

kidding me?" So when I got

arrested, I had a full-length

white evening gown on and

an awesome, full-length fur,

beautiful. And the cops are

handcuffing me, and he goes,

"You're going back to Texas.

You're being extradited."

I'm like, "Well, I thought I

took care of that. There must be

a mistake." So, yeah, I did get

in a little trouble, so I was

in jail, and I'm talking to all

these other girls, and I'm,

like, looking so fabulous. I was

like, "I don't belong here."

[laughs] "I'm really fabulous.

You should talk to me. You would

know." So this one girl said,

"Well, don't you have an

attorney?" I said, "No, I don't.

I don't--I'm not really from

here, and so I don't know any

attorneys," and she goes,

"Here's the best prostitution

attorney in Las Vegas." I said,

"Oh, I've got an attorney now.

I'm even more fabulous." I've

been arrested, and I got out,

like, presto. And I went on

to become a top call girl

in the seventies in Las Vegas.

>> I went back right before

I turned 21. I had a

floor-length mink. When I walked

in that small town--I mean,

my backyard had been a cotton

field. And, they said, "Well,

they grow up in spite of us,

don't they?" Kind of like,

you know, here I come all--

in a floor-length mink. It was

a total "Fuck you." It was

a "Fuck you," and it felt good.

You know, even in that

desperate situation, it was,

like, look where I have been,

and look that I'm still alive.

You know, "You can't destroy me,

and you're still where you are."

>> One of the hardest things

for me in this profession is

watching women make decisions

that are not in their best

interest, decisions that I know

are not healthy decisions for

them, that will at some point

harm them.

>> Joe would order filet mignon

and magnums of champagne and

have several girls there for

a minimum of--500 an hour was

the absolute minimum. I was 18

and blonde, so at the time,

I went for more. And whatever

you wanted, you know, Ecstasy,

cocaine. I went from having no

money in my pocket to partying

at the Waldorf for days and

thousands of dollars.

>> I remember coming from not

having experienced a life like

that. There's this excitement,

but this feeling like you're not

where you're supposed to be.

>> Fear.

>> Did you go through that?

I mean...

>> At the time, I was

invincible. I mean, nobody could

tell me anything. I had it all

figured out. You know, the drugs

got pretty bad, and there was--

There was this girl, and she was

older. And she was 26, and she

goes, "If you stay in this city,

you're gonna die." And she--

I'm sorry. She goes, "I have

a plane ticket next Wednesday.

I don't want to fuck you, but if

you stay here, you're gonna die.

Come with me. Come to Florida.

I live in Hollywood.

My roommate's moving out. I have

a huge house. But if you stay

here, you're dead." And she was

was absolutely right. And so

that next week, I moved down to

Hollywood just like that. So all

of a sudden it was like chh-chh.

>> I've made friends that are

unlike those that I think people

have in the real world. There's

a bond that happens, like with

you and me, that most people

can't even imagine that kind

of connection between people,

not just with you, but even

with clients.

>> Explain that so people can

understand, 'cause they won't

understand this,

so break it down.

>> These guys gave me life. They

took and picked me up and loved

me when I couldn't love myself.

They told me that I could do

more, and they pushed me.

They helped me through school.

They were there, you know? And I

could always be honest and real

with the men in this world.

There's no cost for people just

being themselves.

>> Mm-mmm.

>> That's an invaluable

commodity.

>> It's cost me a part of me

personally. It really has. It

cost me a social life. I can't

go out with, you know, my

everyday friends and say, "God,

I had a really bad day at work

today. This guy was a dick,

literally, and, you know, all I

wanted to do was roll him out

the door." But I can't do that.

I dodge a lot of questions a lot

of times, you know. "What do

you do for a living?" Dating

obviously would not be easy

with this. And I think that,

at the end of the day, for me,

the benefits, at this point

in my life, outweigh the costs

that I have.

>> And it was a night it was

raining, and I was hungry, and I

was cold. I don't even know if

I had a hotel room to go back to

that night. God, this is gonna

sound crazy, but I go in

the card room, because there was

a Ms. Pac-Man. People there

would give me a quarter, and I

could play the Ms. Pac-Man, and

it was like the best thing in

the world in my life. And this

guy flashes this wad of bills.

Now, by that point, I had

a pretty good gut level.

I probably knew something was

wrong. Then he tells me,

"But I can't walk out with you,

because what if somebody sees

me? So I'll meet you around

back. Just get in the car." And

that's never a good sign if they

don't want to be seen with you,

so when they say that, you know

somewhere that there might be

a problem, but I went anyway. We

get in the house. He pulls out

a badge and says, "I'm a cop.

You're under arrest." First of

all, I knew he wasn't a cop.

I knew this was some scam. I'm

like--I did the, "Oh, hell, no,"

and second I grab for the door,

he fucking ripped my hair back.

I mean, my head went flying

back. I remember him being on

top of me, I tried to scream. He

put his hand around my neck, and

the other hand, he began beating

me. And, you know, you think you

would really remember what was

happening. I remember a couple

things. I remember the taste

of blood and wondering is that

mine or his. In fact, I tasted

that taste for years afterwards,

and I kept waking up at night,

going, "Oh, my God, is it mine

or his?" I remember trying

to scream, but nothing would

come out. And then what happens

is the pain stopped somewhere,

and then I would wake up again.

'Cause, you know, like, people

think when people strangle you,

you die. You don't fucking die.

You come back over and over and

over, and they get to keep

doing it.

>> There's been many dangerous

men that I would have loved

to report, that have hurt other

women and something could have

been done about it. But I didn't

have the freedom to call

the police and give them

this information.

>> I had fought as hard as

I could, and, for some reason,

he'd gone over into the kitchen,

and I came--I started breathing

again. Then I saw this pair

of scissors, and I grabbed the

scissors, 'cause I thought I was

gonna stab him. You know, you

don't think you could do that

to anybody, but I could do that.

Except it isn't like in the

movies. You go to stab 'em, and

it doesn't go in, and then they

know it. He strangled me again,

and I went out. He was dragging

me down the back steps, and my

foot had caught in between

the steps, and he took, and he

yanked. It really hurt me bad,

but it woke me up.

>> Oh.

>> It's like I can barely see,

and he's up in the house,

and the lights are on. He's got

the trunk open.

>> [gasps] He's gonna put you

in there?

>> I crawled out the driveway,

and I remember him yelling.

I could hear. He realized I was

gone, and he was coming up

the street, and I have no voice.

I can't make any sound. This car

pulls up. For the first time,

I realize what had happened,

'cause you should have seen

this look on these guys' face

when they saw me. This guy says,

"We don't want any part of this,

but we'll take you somewhere."

'Cause I'm like--I was trying to

say, "Help me," but there was no

sound. And there was a janitor

in the bus station. He called

the police. I told them what

happened, and I told them the

truth. And this guy had made up

a story that I had tried to rob

him and that I was a prostitute,

and, yes, we had had sex, which

explains everything. But I'd

been with all kinds of guys,

so who knew this way? I mean it

was just like--And so they came

back, and they told me if I

pressed charges, that they were

gonna press charges, that he was

gonna press charges against me,

and I would probably be

the one to go to jail.

>> And you looked the way

you did.

>> I was laying in the rape unit

of the hospital. I couldn't

talk. I had no skin left on my

neck. I was bleeding from every

hole in my fucking body, and

they told me I would go to jail.

They even gave him the money

back out of my pocket. And what

happened was I got mad, and I

went to the District Attorney,

and I told him my story. They

decided to plea-bargain him,

and because he was a businessman

and because of who I was, they

dropped it down to assault with

a deadly weapon. When people ask

me why I'm doing this, this

film, it's so girls don't have

to go through this anymore. This

isn't going away. Denial does

not make it go away. We are this

integral part of our society,

and yet our lives aren't worth

anything to anybody else.

I'm tired of being silenced.

>> It's a shame game, and for

a long time I bought into that,

and I felt really bad, and I

started doing drugs. I was into

the prostitution for over

2 years before I ever did drugs,

but because I felt so crappy

about who I was that the drugs

helped me disassociate with my

body during the experience with

my client, OK? Back then, I

didn't realize that I had power,

that I could set boundaries,

that I could demand men treat me

the way I wanted to be treated.

I was lucky that I got out

of it. Many women don't.

Many addicts don't.

>> He was arrested quite a few

subsequent times. They were

mostly crimes against women. And

what that tells me, if they had

treated me like other women,

nobody else would have had

to get hurt. Nobody else would

have had to get hurt.

>> I went to L.A. to go pursue

my acting. I had decided through

my years of being an escort that

I was funny. [laughs] And so

I thought I'd go do stand-up

comedy. I'd been asked to do

"Playboy." The sex industry was

still pulling me, and I went

back to work. And at that point,

I found out I had cancer, and so

I went to Dallas, and I made

amends with my father. I stayed

legitimate for a while. I tried.

It's hard when you are so used

to making so much money, and it

just wasn't enough, so then

I opened up an escort service

in Dallas.

>> When that attack happened

was truly, for me, like,

one of those defining moments.

For whatever reason, prior

to that, I was, like, on this

self-destruct thing. Something

happens when you get right there

to that edge. It was like, "Oh,

hell, no, this isn't gonna end.

Like, this isn't gonna be over.

This can't be all it is.

There's gotta be more."

>> I rolled my car down the side

of the freeway. Police pulled me

out. I had my seatbelt on,

'cause I'm a law-abiding

citizen. I had rum bottles.

I had pipes. I had briefcases.

I had guns. I had everything,

and they kept asking me, "Who

are you? What's your name?" And

I opened my eyes. "Can you hear

us?" And I said, "What city am I

in? And I'll tell you who I am."

They didn't like that too much.

So I didn't say anything. They

handcuffed me and took me to

jail for all kinds of charges,

so that was a little sobering-up

period for me, I would say.

>> How long were you in jail?

>> Long time. [laughs]

Long time. Everybody in A.A. was

totally scared to death of me,

though. They said I looked mean.

"What are you talking about?

I'm just pissed off 'cause

I can't get high anymore."

I'm trying to do this thing,

you know, but at that point,

I kind of found domination.

Domination saved my life,

though, 'cause it definitely

helped me work out a lot

of anger issues.

>> Yeah. Yeah.

>> Didn't mind beating those men

too much either.

>> I was given a lot

of counseling through

Victim/Witness. I used it,

you know, in that way that only

the desperate can. You know,

I used it.

>> How so?

>> I stopped drinking or using

drugs or partying or doing

anything that, you know, people

my age did, although I wasn't

that young anymore, and I went

back to school, and my life

changed really fast.

>> I was trying to get

on my feet. One of the guys that

I had known back in the day was

the manager, and I started doing

hair in the back of the club,

and that led back to my career

again in the industry. Some guy

came in, and I was onstage with

a real hot chick, dripping wax

on her and very exotic.

And he says, "You need to be

a dominatrix. You should work

for me. Big convention's coming

in Vegas." And I said, "I'm not

having sex," and he goes, "You

don't have to have sex. You just

beat them up. They have a lot

of guys that like foot fetishes,

and, you know, spankings and

wrestling." And I said,

"Wrestling?" My eyes peaked up.

My ears were all excited. I was

hearing good stuff again. I can

make money again, 'cause I'm

tired of being broke.

>> I got out of the business,

because I went to prison

for a drug charge for 5 years,

because I was an addict. And

when I went away, my daughter

was 4. When I came home, she was

almost 9, and the pain of not

being with her was enough for me

to say enough. I walked into

an A.A. meeting and told a bunch

of women that I had been a

prostitute for 20 years, and if

they didn't help me, I was gonna

die. None of 'em judged me.

They all took me into their

loving arms. They became my best

friends in the community.

So I went from the street girl,

addict, back into the escort

agency, because I was gonna go

bankrupt. I couldn't live on

$24,000 a year working 80 hours

a week as a nanny, and I wasn't

gonna fail my kid. If I don't do

anything else in life, I have

to make sure she doesn't end up

in the same situation I ended up

when I was 18, and I've

accomplished that.

>> Truly, at that point, I never

thought I would work in this

industry again.

>> What were you going to school

for? You were going back

to school.

>> I found an accounting class--

and I've always liked numbers--

and a business law class.

Something happened. It's like

I knew I could do anything,

anything I wanted to. I ended up

with a degree in finance.

Long story short, I had walked

my way up in one of the bigger

firms, becoming the Second

Vice President of Investments.

That's what you're supposed

to say. It's a glorified term

for stockbroker.

>> Yeah.

>> I did put myself through

school, and I got my associate's

degree for culinary arts while

I was in D.C. It was fun.

I don't think that I could have

a profession in culinary arts,

but I'm glad that I did take

the opportunity to learn what

I was interested in so I knew

for sure.

>> To the outside world,

you know, I'd done it. Life was

good. At that point, I had some

physical problems and had

to make some decisions about

my life. I made a decision

to reenter this world. My first

website went online in 2002.

I, at that point, became

Kristen DiAngelo.

>> I was in Nevada, but I wanted

to come home, and I wanted

to open my own business, so I

started my massage business,

and I'm gonna just take control

and have my life the way

I want it, on my terms.

>> Becoming a courtesan was 100%

my choice. I didn't feel

pressured. I thought about it.

I tried it. I decided I liked it

and pursued it.

>> There are people who are

victims, and there are points

that even you or I might have

been a victim.

>> I'm not a victim now.

>> Yeah, we aren't now.

>> Mm-mmm.

>> Like this is a decision.

>> I chose this. I'm still here.

I could have stopped. I could

have done hair. I mean, I've

bartended. I could have done

that. I've been to school a lot,

real estate, but I could never

support myself 100% without

doing this on the side.

>> There is no reason I should

be here, absolutely no reason in

this world. I was really, really

lucky to have made it through

the hardships that I did.

>> My biggest fear when I don't

hear from my wife is that she's

dead. Predators target

prostitutes or escorts because

they view them as being

disposable.

>> I always say that we could be

the United States' best allies.

>> Absolutely!

>> I mean, how many of us

started like that or--

>> Nobody wants to stop sex

trafficking more than sex

workers, and this is true of sex

workers around the world, and

yet no one comes to us. No one

turns to us and says, "How can

we do this? How can we stop this

problem?" I get phone calls from

women, and they're terrified.

They don't know who to turn to.

I'm like--I can't tell them to

call the police, In fact, I tell

them, "Don't call the police.

The police will arrest you!"

There is no place for us to go

if we are the victim of a crime.

This is what people don't get.

I mean, we--They're saying

prostitution is dangerous,

but then why do you make it more

dangerous for us? Because you

make it impossible for us to be

able to go to the police and

file a report.

>> A lot of the girls I knew had

gotten beaten up, gotten robbed,

gotten raped. Luckily real bad

things like that didn't happen

to me. My worst experience was

the first time I got arrested by

the local cop that was stalking

me, and because he knew I was

new and he knew I was

vulnerable. And it's almost like

a girl being at a bus stop when

the pimps are driving by and

they know she's a runaway or she

just showed up. It's almost like

we wear a sign. You can come do

what you want. I have no

protection. There's no one I can

tell. There's no one that's

gonna care, and no one's gonna

come save me.

>> And they tell me, "While I

was incarcerated, this is what

the guard did to me. This is

what I was told would happen

to me if I didn't cooperate."

I commiserate with them.

I wish there was a lot more

that I could do for them.

Unfortunately, the way society

is, there really isn't a whole

lot I can do. These women are

what radical feminists call

rescued. Well, rescued means

they get arrested, it means they

go to jail, it means when

they're in jail, the prison

guards will rape them, and that,

to me, is not any way to rescue

any women. You put her at risk

of having to go on welfare or

whatever else instead of being

a productive member of society,

where she can earn a living and

pay her bills and infuse a lot

of money into the economy.

>> I look at my average nail

bill a month, just so people get

an idea, and $300 a month is

a good month for me.

>> Yep.

>> The plane flight, the hotel

room I need to take, the rental

car I need to pay for, the gas

stations locally.

>> Mm-hmm.

>> I haven't even got

to the hair salon yet...

>> Right.

>> And I've spent $1,500.

>> Right. I think there's a big

misconception, is that all we do

is drain money from the economy.

>> Do you agree with the laws?

>> No. I think prostitution

should be legal, personally.

>> Do you think that would make

a change in the industry?

>> Yes. I think it'd be much

cleaner. It'd be much cleaner,

and you wouldn't have to worry

about anything, any kind

of diseases.

>> In the years you were seeing

girls, did you have any problems

like that?

>> No, none, none whatsoever.

>> They think that we're

a health hazard, that we're just

walking petri dishes.

>> If she were to contract some

disease, especially one that

couldn't be cured, men talk,

and if something like that were

to occur, that would be the end

of her business.

>> I make sure that everything

that I do is safe, and that's

a huge thing, especially in this

industry. That, surprisingly,

is not done in, you know, the

regular world, and I find that

so horrific, that, you know, the

health of people, they don't put

that first. And they think just

because they're not a working

girl, that it's not gonna happen

to them, and the fact is, is it

happens to them way more often

than it would anybody like me.

People think we're out there

stealing husbands, you know,

spreading disease, on crack, you

know, whatever it is. The truth

is, is that we are the safest

avenue for what we do.

>> When they find out that

you're an escort, they just

automatically think about all

the sexual activities that you

do. They don't--They don't

really think about you being

a person at home, all the other

things that you enjoy, or that

you even have feelings, really.

It seems like once you know--

once they know that you're

an escort, you're like,

dehumanized. You're just this

thing. You're just this product,

and if they don't want it, then

they're just going to, you know,

detest you.

>> I've never brought a man into

my house when my child lived

with me. I never brought

strangers around. No one cares

what a husband and wife is doing

in their house. No one cares

if a bar skank lives next door

and brings strange men home.

I've probably been with less men

than some non-escort women,

but for some reason, that whole

stigma is all because I'm

being paid.

>> My parents don't know me.

They choose not to know me.

They choose to think I'm

demon-possessed. They choose

to think the worst in me, and,

you know, that hurts,

and that's when a girl goes

searching for love.

>> Yep, I know.

>> I don't tell my mother or

anybody in my family that I do

escorting, because I think it--

Them accepting that I do porn is

one thing. Accepting that I'm an

escort as well, I know that they

would look at me in disgust,

and they would blame Jimmie,

and they would think that he is,

you know, pushing me to do this,

and, "Oh, it's all your husband,

and--" You know, the typical mom

reaction is what I would get

from them, and I would have

to completely shut them out of

my life, because nobody is gonna

take me away from my husband,

and nobody is gonna take me away

from my job, and I--So that's

why I don't tell them that

I do this.

>> My son said, "You taught me

to never lie, and you're lying

to me. Why did you lie to me

when you taught me to never

lie?" So that--I totally got

caught, because I was lying

about what I--I told him I was

playing poker. That's why I was

bringing home all this money.

So he wasn't really upset about

what I did. He was upset about

the fact that I lied about it.

>> I come from a religious

family. I myself am not

religious. I think that while

they would accept it, it would

be very hurtful to them, and I'm

not out to hurt anybody.

>> I think my mother might know.

My mother is one of those people

if she doesn't ask, then I won't

tell, and she won't know,

and it'll be good.

>> Yeah.

>> I was 18 when my mom found

out that I was an escort. She

seemed very upset at first, but

after she realized that I wasn't

doing anything at her house, she

was like, "Oh, OK. Well, as long

as, you know, you're being safe

and you're not doing any drugs

and you're still in school,"

and everything like that. After

that, it was a big weight off my

shoulders, 'cause I kind of knew

that they already knew, but now

that we had gotten that out

in the open, it was a big weight

off my shoulders.

>> When I told my sister what I

do for a living, I was relieved.

>> After she told me, I felt--

I don't--I can't even explain

it. I felt like I needed to cut

her completely out of my life,

because I felt it was very,

very wrong and, you know,

against a lot of my beliefs.

>> I'm not a good liar,

so having to put up these ruses,

now I didn't have to do this.

Even if she didn't want to talk

about it, at least she knew.

>> It's just really wrong to be

judgmental, and I was really

convicted that it's not for me

to judge what she does, and it

really doesn't make sense to--

It's like, you know, cutting off

your own arm or something.

It doesn't make sense to cut

her out of my life because of

the choices that she's making.

>> Jimmie opened me to all

of this, but it wasn't--It was

by choi--Like, he did it, and he

made me comfortable with what

I do, and he made me comfortable

with swinging and comfortable

with sex. I mean, I wasn't

experienced with sex before

I met him. Had a few boyfriends

here and there, and then here

I am 19, meeting a 32-year-old

man, and he just sort of swept

me off my feet.

>> My name's Jimmie, and I've

been married to Erin Marxxx for

7 years?

>> 8.

>> 8. 8 years, 7 or 8 years.

>> Close enough.

>> She walked into my house with

this girl that I was dating,

and she--and still is.

>> Oh, honey.

>> She was just the most

beautiful girl I ever saw. Like,

I couldn't believe it. Like,

I was like just--Like when she

walks in a room--And this will

keep me from crying, it's like,

you know how, like, other guy--

I think other guys are looking

at me, and, "I wish I could

fuck her." That's--I have no

other way of saying it. I feel

that way when she walks in a

room today, like there's a girl

I wish I was having sex with

right now, or, my mind, fucking.

I say--You know? And that's how

I look at her every time she,

you know--Except when she's

being a bitch. That's different.

No one could love another person

like I love her in my heart,

you know? So that's just how

I feel when I see her.

>> That's very sweet.

>> And when it changes, I'll get

rid of her. No, I'm just

kidding. I'm just kidding.

>> Where did you meet

your spouse?

>> I met her at the brothel. I

went in, and the lady who worked

at the bar said, "Hey, there's

somebody I want you to meet."

And so Pearl came out.

>> I met my wife through

a mutual friend. I thought she

was beautiful. Pretty typical

in this culture to ask somebody

what they do for a living. She

told me she was an escort. I was

impressed with her honesty.

>> Who's your mother?

>> My mother's Pearl. I'm the

son of Pearl.

>> And how old are you?

>> I'm 41 years old. I asked her

what she did while she was out

of town, and she did tell me. I

think I was in the tenth grade.

But when she explained to me, I

was totally OK with it, because

I was well taken care of.

Actually, I probably benefitted

financially more than the other

kids in my neighborhood,

because that was a lower-class

neighborhood, and my mother--

She made decent money,

so she always sent money home

to my grandfather for me,

so I think that was the only

other difference.

>> Let's talk about the values

your mother instilled in you.

Was she an easy mom? Or tell me

how you were raised.

>> She could be strict at times.

She believed in being honest,

and I learned about not being

honest getting my mouth washed

out for telling a lie. [laughs]

No, and she believed in working

hard and doing the best you can

at whatever it is you're doing.

>> What impresses me about my

wife is that she's kind, she's

caring, she has 2 kids that

she's raised. They're both

fantastic kids. She has

a great mind.

>> She enjoys everything

in life, things that kids enjoy

still. Why adults do drugs,

because they forget what it's

like to enjoy the simple things

in life, and Erin spends 6 hours

at the beach looking for sharks'

teeth, and all these little kids

are around her, and she doesn't

think she's a good person

because of what we do sometimes

and how we party and all that

stuff, but she loves my mom more

than anything in life,

and she wants my--

What 20-something-year-old wants

their mother-in-law to live with

them? I mean, she just loves

family. And she thinks I'm

good-looking, and that's

rare, so...

>> It's not easy to love someone

that's in this industry, because

they're not monogamous. You have

to understand the concept of

monogamy of the heart, that says

I--The person that is at home

at night with you on the couch

is not the person that goes

to work.

>> She thinks about me a lot,

which, you know, it just kind of

floors me, because I wasn't used

to that. She is so warm and

caring, and she's beautiful.

I think I'm the luckiest

man alive.

>> I--[laughs]--don't really

have any complaints about my

childhood. She always took care

of us. I tell him, "Yeah, my mom

travels all over the place," and

he's like, "What is it exactly

does she do?" One of my friends

thinks she's a spy.

>> Yeah, I have 3 children,

and they are teenagers. My son

is 20, and I just recently told

him what I do, and I told him

that I'm gonna be in this

documentary, and he was actually

really proud of me. He's like,

"Good for you, Mom. I think it's

a really good thing, and I think

that people look at it in a

wrong way." I'd like to talk to

my 16- and 18-year-old daughters

about this when the time is

right for them. I just don't

want to hurt them in any way,

and because of the societal

stigma around this,

the inability to understand what

this industry really is all

about, it's hard to even open

that door right now,

and so I want to make sure

the time's right.

>> My mom's very protective

and caring. [cries]

She--I know she's--she loves me,

and she'll do anything for

me basically. I mean, I'd pretty

much do the same thing

for her, too.

>> The only reason she works and

everything is to take care

of her family. There's nothing

else. She doesn't care about

the money.

>> I can come to Mother about

anything and not worry about any

repercussions or any judgment.

We talk about any

and everything.

>> I do feel conflicted at

times, but it's her choice. It's

her decision. Eventually, you

know, she'll come to a point in

her life where she won't need or

still have to do this profession

or this living, and she'll make

that decision on her own.

>> My own personal belief is

sexually you should only be with

one person, and escorting, that

is completely the opposite of

that, so it's kind of against my

personal values, but those are

my own values. That's not hers.

What's so bad about it? There's

people having sex for money,

but is that--is that so bad?

>> She's done what she's done,

and I'm real proud of her. Being

a single black woman for a long

time, taking care of her child,

being able to actually retire

legitimately, can I say?

>> She got out.

>> She got out. Exactly.

>> She got out of Oak Park.

She got out of the life. She got

out and did well.

>> Yes, she did. That drive in

her is instilled in me. I mean,

I work harder than ever just

to provide for my newborn child,

my fiancée, and myself, to not

go back to those type of places.

>> What would you like

to see change?

>> The business has been around

forever. People have doing it,

so what's the big stigma

about it?

>> There you go.

>> Tax it, and get on with it.

>> To live your life dealing

with threats and aggression

and society viewing you

as disposable can take a toll

on someone's self-esteem if they

don't know who they are.

>> Sometimes people are

wonderfully curious, and they

just want to know everything.

"Oh, what's it like?"

and, "Have you ever done this?"

or, "Have you ever done that?"

Other people say, "Gosh, look at

the time. I better go." And you

end up stifling a lot of things,

and you end up kind of going

home and sitting with a scotch

by yourself.

>> I get a lot of people from

churches that e-mail me. They're

just, you know, "You're going

to hell, and you're a sinner.

You're gonna burn," and this and

that, and it's just like, God,

get a life. Why are you even

looking me up? Like, how did

you even find me?

>> This is part of the human

condition, and there's nothing

bad or evil or disgusting or

degenerate about it. Nothing is

that when it's between

2 consenting adults. And society

be damned. They're not living

my life. I'm living my life.

>> I don't feel like the woman

that is lost and doesn't know

herself anymore. I know exactly

who I am. I know exactly where

I'm going. I know exactly what

I'm doing, and I love doing it.

>> If I can look myself in the

mirror and live with myself,

then why do you care?

Any other questions?

>> Yeah, what are your thoughts

about getting older and how

you're gonna be able

to support yourself?

>> Pfft. You had to go there,

didn't you?

>> I feel passionately about

having a plan B, because I

didn't have one, and there was

a time when I could have had

more of a choice of plan Bs,

and that's no one's fault

but my own.

>> And I still do hair. I do

permanent makeup. I still do

domination. It's legal

in the state of New York.

>> If and when my wife decides

to retire, I'll be happy about

that, not just because I'm

concerned for her safety, but

she spends a lot of time away

from home, and we don't get

to see each other as often as we

would like.

>> I feel like I've had kind of

like a 12-step spiritual

awakening, and I've come

to the conclusion that it is my

responsibility to change the

system for the next generation.

There's thousands of women

I can save from being murdered.

>> I don't want to come across

grandiose or anything, but I

believe in that 10% of what you

earn, you give back. That makes

me feel better as a person,

tithing.

>> She was $600 short on the

rent. Luckily I was able to make

that in one night the night

before the rent was due,

and when I came down--I mean,

she had to pick up the money at

the hotel. She was like, "Thank

you so much." You know, it was

like, "I appreciate it. I don't

know what I'd be able to do

without you right now." I did

feel proud that I was able

to help my family, yeah.

>> I want to be just like

Kristen DiAngelo. [laughs]

Teaching people, leading the way

in this industry, being sort of

a beacon for awareness and

enlightenment as far as what

this industry really is,

and helping girls that don't

know how to do this to do it

in the right way, with self--

with self-respect.

>> If you can't do it and enjoy

it and have a good time, then I

would say don't get into the

business. Don't look at it just

for the money, because that's

when you can get in trouble,

and that's when you can get

hurt, and, well, we don't want

to see you get hurt.

>> [laughs] If they're still

paying, I'm still doing it.

>> I love my mother.

>> [laughs]

I have no regrets.

>> Why is that?

>> There's something that comes

from knowing that you've made

your way in this world without a

lot of help, without the safety

nets that everybody else has,

that 911 number, without any of

that. The countries I've seen,

social events I've attended,

arts I've been exposed to, and,

more than that, the worlds that

have been opened up to me

through these guys' eyes.

>> Yeah.

>> It's like, "Wow,

what a ride."

>> Are you looking back? Huh?

What's that? What do you see?

Huh? What do you see?