All language subtitles for Sanet.st.monty.pythons.flying.circus.s02e06.1080p.BluRay.h264-13

[0]

Hello, good evening,
and welcome to I's a Living.

The rules are very simple.

Each week we get a large fee.

Atthe end of that week
we get another large fee.

If there's been no interruption
at the end of the year,

we get a repeat fee, which can
be added on for tax purposes

to the previous year,
or the following year

if there's no new series.

is entitled fo three drinks
atthe BBC,

or, if the show is over,
seven drinks.

Unless he's an MP,
in which case

he can have seven drinks
before the show.

Ora bishop,
only three drinks in toto.

The winners will receive
an additional fee,

a prize which
they can flog back,

and a special fee for a guest
appearance on Late-Night Lineup.

Well, those are the rules,
that's the game,

we'll be back again same time
next week. Till then, bye-bye.

[0]

[ANNOUNCER]
Well, it's five past 9

and nearly time for
six past nine.

On BBC 2, itl shortly be
six and a half minutes past 9.

Later on this evening
itl be 10 ‘0' clock,

and at 10:30, we'll be joining
BBC 2 in time for 10:33.

And don't forget tomorrow,
when itil be 9:20.

Those of you who missed
8:45 on Friday

will be able to see it again
this Friday at a quarter to 9.

Now here's a time check.

It's six and a half minutes
to the big green thing.

[MAN]
You're a loony.

[ANNOUNCER]
1 get so bored.

1 get so bloody bored.

[WOMAN]
This way, please.

[ANNOUNCER]
Right-o, I'm coming.

[FOOTSTEPS]

Yes, sir. This--
This way, eh?

Ooh. Bloody hell.
Where are the lights?

- [CLATTERING]
- Ooh-- Ah! What's this?

[THEME PLAYS] Ooh-- Oh,
damn, where are they?

Here, how does this turn off?

Oh, it won't stop.

- [CLATTERING)
- Oh! Ah. Ah! Oh!

Where are the lights?

Oh! Oh, here they are.

Ooh!

[METAL CLANGING]

You probably noticed
that I didn't say,

"And now for something
completely different" just now.

Uh, this is simply because

I am unable to appear
in the show this week.

Sorry to interrupt.

I'm terribly sorry to interrupt,
but, uh, my tooth's hurting.

It's just
about here. See?

[MAN]
Get off!

Oh, sorry.

I'm not sorry to interrupt.

I'd interrupt anything

if it gets people
looking in my direction.

Like at my old school, where,
by a coincidence,

the annual prize-giving is
going on at this very moment.

[PLAYS)

[CLEARS THROAT]

My Lord Mayor,
Lady Mayoress...

it gives me
very great pleasure

to return to
my old school

to present the prizes
in this centenary year.

[SMATTERING OF APPLAUSE]

This school takes very
justifiable pride

inits fine
record of--

Oh-- Ah!

[SLAPPING, GRUNTING]

[BISHOP]
Och! Ow! Ooh!

- Owl
-[CLANGING]

Uh-oh-- Ooh!

[GRUNTING]

Scholarship and sporting
achievement in all--

[GRUNTING, SLAPPING]

Uh. Uh, I'm-- I'm afraid
there's been a mistake.

Uh, the man who has been
speaking to you is an impostor.

He is not, in fact,
the bishop of East Anglia,

but a man wanted
by the police.

I am the bishop
of East Anglia,

and anybody who
doesn't believe me

can look me up
in the book.

Now, then, the first prize
is this beautiful silver cup,

uh, which has been
won by me.

Next, uh, we come to
the Fairfax Atkinson Trophy

for outstanding
achievement

in the field of
applied mathematics.

Uh, well, there was
no one this year

who reached
the required standard,

and so it goes
in my sack.

And by an old rule
of the school,

all the other silver trophies
also go in my sack.

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTING, SLAPPING]

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

[CHINESE ACCENT] Very
sorry for holdup.

Uh, no problem now.

Me are bishop
of East Anglia.

Now to present, uh,
prizes.

lis down, uh,
for first prize.

The Fyffe-Chulmleigh Spoon
for Latin Elegiacs,

uh, goes to People's
Republic of China!

[SCREAMS, SLAPPING, GRUNTING]

Good evening,
everybody.

My name's Bradshaw.
Inspector Elizabeth Bradshaw

of the Special Branch
Speech Day Squad.

But I'd like you all
to think of me

And I'd like to present
the first prize,

- the Grimwade Gynn Trophy--
- [MACHINE GUN FIRE]

Lord Mayor, Lady Mayoress,
Mr. Chairman,

ladies, gentlemen
and boys.

Please do not
panic.

Please keep your heads
right down now.

And at the back, please,
keep your heads right down.

Do not panic, don't look around.
This building is surrounded.

There is nothing to worry about.
I am the bishop of East Anglia.

Now, the first prize
is the Granville Cup

for French Unseen
Translation,

and it goes to
Forbes Minor.

Forbes Minor, right.

Uh, give him covering fire.
Come on, Forbes. Come on, boy.

Come and get it, now. Come on.
Keep down. Well done.

Oh, bad luck, Forbes.

The next prize--

Mr. L.F. Dibley's
latest film, f...

Mr. Dibley, some people
have drawn comparisons

between your film, ff...
which ends with a gun battle

at a public school,

and Mr. Lindsay Anderson's
film, i...

which ends with a gun battle
ata public school.

Oh, yes, well, I mean,

there were some people
who said my film,

2001: A Space Odyssey,

was similar
to Stanley Kubrick's, heh.

I mean, that's the sort
of petty, critical niggling

that's dogged my career.

All makes me sick.

I mean, as soon as I had
made Midnight Cowboy,

uh, with the vicar
as Ratso Rizzo,

John Schlesinger
rushes out his version

and gets it premiered while
mine's still at the chemists.

Well, we have with us tonight
one of your films, Rear Window,

which was to become
such a success

for Alfred Hitchcock
a few weeks later.

Um, now,
this is a silent film,

so perhaps you could
talk us through it.

Yes. Well, let's see, now.

There's the rear window.

Uh, there's the man
looking out of the window.

Uh, he sees the murder.

The murderer's coming
to the room to kill him,

but he's, uh, outwitted him
and he's all right. The end.

I mean, Alfred Hitchcock,

who's supposed fo be
50 bloody wonderful,

padded that out
to one and a half hours, heh.

Lost all
the tension.

Just because he had
bloody Grace Kelly,

he made £3 million
more than I did.

Mind you, at least
she can act a bit.

I could have done with her
in Finian's Rainbow.

The man from the off-license
was terrible.

A real failure that was.

Ten seconds of solid boredom.

Bloody terrible.

Mr. LF. Dibley's
Finian's Rainbow.

And now over to me.

Exclusively on the program
today,

we have the foreign secretary,
who's just retumed

from the bitter fighting
in the Gulf of Oman.

He's going to tell us
about canoeing.

Good evening.

[INDISTINCT MUMBLING]

That gives you Just some idea
of what's going on out there.

Today saw the long-awaited
publication

of the Portman
Committee's report

on industrial reorganization.

It's taken five years
to prepare,

and it's bound to have
an enormous impact

on the future of industrial
relations in this country.

In the studio tonight,
Lord Portman,

chairman of the committee,

Sir Charles Avery, Employers'
Reorganization Council,

and Ray Millichope, leader of
the Allied Technicians' Unien.

And they're going to make
a human pyramid.

[0]

[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]

Bra-vo.

Now, the president
of the Board of Trade.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Good evening.

[INDISTINCT MUMBLING]

Now here's the vice-chairman
of ICI.

Good evening.

[INDISTINCT MUMBLING]

Well, so much for politics

and the problems of Britain's
industrial reorganization.

Now we turn to the lighter
subject of sport,

and Reg Harris, the former
world cycling sprint champion

talks to us about
the psychological problems

of big-race preparation.

[INDISTINCT MUMBLING]

And now the world of song, Anne
Ziegler and Webster Booth.

[INDISTINCT MUMBLING]

[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]

Well, all good things
must come to an end,

and that's all for this week.

But to close our program,
Dame Irene Stoat,

who celebrates her
85th hirthday this month,

reads one of
her most famous poems.

Who shall declare this good

That ill when good
And ill so intertwine

But to fulfill the vast design
Of an omniscient will?

When seeming gain
But turns to loss...

[INDISTINCT MUMBLING]

When earthly treasure
Proves but dross

And what seemed lost
But tums again

To high eternal gain?

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS]

We have had the most marvelous
holiday.

- It was absolutely fantastic.
- Mm, absolutely wonderful. Yes.

Michael, you tell them
about it.

You do it so much better.

It was you that had that...

[DOORBELL RINGS]

He was really
going to ask.

Excuse me a moment. Hm.

Dung, sir.

- What?
- We got your dung.

- What dung?
- Your dung.

Three hundredweight of every dropping.
Where do you want it?

I didn't order
any dung.

Oh, yes, you did, sir. Through
the Book of the Month Club.

- Book of the Month Club?
- That's right.

You get, uh,
Gone with the Wind,

Les Misérables by Victor Hugo,
The French Lieutenant's Woman,

and with every third book,
you get dung.

I didn't know that
when [ signed the form.

Well, no, no, it wasn't
on the form.

No, they found it wasn't
good for business.

We got three hundredweight
of dung in the van.

- Where do you want it?
- Well, I-- I don't think we do.

- We've no garden.
- Well, itll all it in here.

- It's top-class excrement.
- You can't put it in here.

- We're having a dinner party.
- It's all right.

- Ill putit on the telly.
- Well-- L-listen.

- Darling...
- [FLIES BUZZING]

there's a man here with our
Book of the Month Club dung.

We've no room, dear.
And I said to her...

Well, how many rooms
have you got, then?

Well, there's only this room,
the, uh, bedroom, a spare room.

Well, I'l tell you
what.

Uh, move everything
into the main bedroom.

Then you can use
the spare room as a dung room.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

- Yes?
- Dead Indian.

What?

- Have you recently bought
anew cooker, sir? - Yes.

Oh, well, this is your free
dead Indian, as advertised.

I didn't see that
in the adverts.

No, it's in very small print,
you see, sir,

so as not to affect the sales.

We've
no room.

Oh, that's all right. You can
put the, uh, dead Indian

- in the spare room, on top of the dung.
- Yeah.

Me heap
dizzy.

He's not dead.

It was probably
a faulty cooker.

Have you, uh...

read and enjoyed
The French Lieutenant's Woman?

- No.
- [PHONE RINGS]

Stil, it's worth it
for the dung, isn't it?

Darling,
it's the Milk Marketing Board.

For every two cartons
of single cream,

we get the M4 motorway.

[SIRENS BLARING]

Are you Mr. and Mrs. P. Forbes
of 7, the Studios, Elstree?

- Yes.
- Right. Well, get in the car.

We've won you
in the police raffle.

Yes, this couple
is just one of the prizes

in this year's
police raffle.

Other prizes include two years
for breaking and entering,

a crate of search warrants,

a "What's All This, Then?"
T-shirt,

and a weekend for two with
a skinhead of your own choice.

[ANNOUNCER]
And that's not afl.

Three fabulous new prizes
have just been added.

A four-month supply
of interesting undergarments,

a fully motorized pig,

and a hand-painted scene
of Arabian splendor

complete with sity walk.

[HUMS]

[YELLING]

Finally, add the sliced meat,

garnish the vegetables,
and voila:

A meal fit for a--

Personally, I prefer
more classical dishes.

Nigel, wonderful to see you.

Super, super, super.

Am I a teeny bit late?

Oh, well, a bit.
An hour.

Oh, super. Only Snowdon's
been retouching my profile,

and we can't upset
the lovely Snowdon, can we?

Gosh, no-- David Bloggs,
the one and only.

Super to see you.
Who are you working for?

Come and work for me.
I'l call you tomorrow. Bye.

Itis really lovely to have
this little chat with you.

Well, I--

Itis so nice to be able to have
this little talk about things.

I heard a teeny rumorlette
that you were married.

Well, not quite. No, uh,
my wife's just died, actually.

Oh, dear.

Brian, we must
get together again soon!

See you, och-hoo! Bye.

Well, perhaps we could do
a tribute to her on the show.

- Well, no, I--- Il get
Peter, William, Arthur,

Alex, Joan, Ted, Scott, Will,
John and Ray to fix it up.

Itis so nice
having this little chat.

Well, actually, Timmy, I'm
glad to get you on your own--

You don't mind if Peter
just sits in, do you?

- Well, actually - Oh,
he's doing an article on me

for the Mail.
He's such a lovely person.

- Helle.
- Uh, Peter,

this is one of the nicest people
in the world, Nigel Watt.

Uh. W-A-double-T.
That's right, yes.

Um, actually, Timmy, the thing
is, it's a bit private.

Oh, uh, you don't mind, uh,
if Peter just sits in, do you?

Only Peter's writing
a book on me.

Uh, Peter, you know Tony
from the Mail, don't you?

Yes, we met in the Turkish
bath yesterday.

Super. And did it come up well
in the writing yesterday?

Great, great,
great.

Uh, you took out the, uh,
the tummy references?

- Yes, I did.
- Super, super, super.

- Uh, just to fill you in, uh,
this is Nigel Watt... - Mm-hm.

..and we're having a little
heart-to-heart.

H-E-A-R-T. Smashing.

Do go on, Nigel.

Well-- Well Well,
the thing is, Timmy, um--

Oh.

Uh, do carry on.
Its the TV Times.

Only they syndicate
these photographs to America.

Uh, would you mind
if we just, uh...?

Super, super. One over here,
I think, Bob.

A little smile,
please.

Smashing, smashing.

Uh, feel free, Bob,
to circulate, won't you?

Uh, do go on.
This is most interesting.

Well, the thing is, Timmy,
I'm a bit embarrassed--

Oh, Mr. Williams.
It's nice to see you.

Will you sign this
for my daughter, please?

Hello, Mario. Super, wonderful.
Just two lovely coffees, please.

Sorry, sorry! Timmy, can we just
go from where Mario comes in?

We're getting
bad sound, okay?

Uh, it's German television.
Isn't it exciting, Nigel?

They're doing a prize-winning
documentary on me.

The Wonderful Mr. Williams,
scene 239, take 2.

[DIRECTOR]
Speed.

Action!

Mario, how super to see you.

How are the lovely family?

Please give your little
daughter this. Thank you.

- And just two lovely coffees, please.
- Yes, sir.

Such a lovely
waiter.

Now, go on, please,
This is most interesting.

Well, uh. As I--
As I was saying, Timmy,

um, my wife's gone.

Gone. I've got three children,
and I'm at my wits' end.

No job, no insurance,
no money at all. [-

I'm absolutely flat broke. I- I
just don't know where to tum.

I-- I'm absolutely at the end
of my tether.

You're my only chance. Can
you help me, please, Timmy?

Sorry, I was on the phone
to America.

It's been super having
this lovely little chat.

We must do this again
more often.

Uh, will you get the coffees?
I'm afraid I must dash.

I'm an hour late
for the Israeli Embassy.

- [GUNSHOT]
- [GROAN]

Uh, did you get that shot
all right, sound?

[SOUNDMAN]
Yes, fine.

It It-- It wasn't a bit
too wicked, was it?

-Oh, no.
- I mean, it wasn't too cruel?

- Itwas great.
- No? Super.

Uh, well, uh, I think
it shows I'm human, don't you?

Yeah, it's
great.

Well, the charabanc's here.
Come on, everybody.

Bye!

[ANNOUNCER]
Timmy Williams' Coffee Time

was brought fo you live
from Woppi's in Holborn.

[0]

Good evening. I have with me
in the studio tonight

one of the country's
leading skin specialists,

Raymond
Luxury Yacht.

That's not my name.

I'm sorry. Raymond Luxury
Ya-cht.

No, no. No, it's spelt
"Raymond Luxury Ya-cht,"

but it's pronounced
"Throatwobbler Mangrove."

You're a very silly man, and I'm
not going to interview you.

- Ah! Anti-Semitism.
-Not at all

It's not even
a proper nose.

It's polystyrene.

Give me my nose back.

You can collect at reception.
Now, go away.

- I want to be on television.
- Well, you can't.

Psst. All clear.

[WOMAN GIGGLING]

Wee! Whoo!
Whoo-hoo!

Waa-ha-ha!

Whoo! Wee!

- Ah, ha-ha!
- Hi there, big boy.

Woo, hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Hoo-hoo.
[LAUGHS]

Hey, cutie.

Hello, tiger.

[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

Whoo! Hee-hee-hee!
Tiger.

Tiger. Whoo-hoo!

Hee-hee! Tiger.

Me tiger.

[FOOTSTEPS]

Excuse me, I want to
get married.

I'm afraid I'm already
married, sir.

No, no. I just want
to get married.

I could get a divorce,
I suppose,

butitd be a bit of
a wrench.

No, no, that won't be
necessary-

So would you come to my place
or should I come to yours?

I've just got a big mortgage.

No, I want to get married
here.

Oh, dear. I had my heart
set on a church wedding.

Look, I just want you
to marry me to--

I want to
marry you too, sir,

but it's not
as simple as that.

You sure you want
to get married?

Yes, I want to get married
very quickly.

- Suits me, sir. Suits me.
- I don't want to marry you.

There is such a thing
as breach of promise, sir.

Look, I just want you to act
as registrar and marry me.

1 will marry you, sir,
but please make up your mind.

Please don't trifle
with my affections.

I'm sorry, but--

Allright. I forgive you.
Lovers' tiff.

But you're not the
first person to ask me today.

I've turned down
several people already.

Look, I'm already engaged.

Yes, and I'm already married.
Still, we'll get around it.

Good moming.
I want to get married.

I'm afraid I'm already
marrying this gentleman, sir.

Well, can I get
married after him?

Divorce isn't as quick as that, sir.
Still, if you're keen...

I'd like to get
married, please.

Ah, heavens, it's my lucky
day, isn't it?

Allright. You'll have to wait
until I've married these two.

What, those two,
getting married?

Nigel, what are you
doing marrying him?

He's marrying me first, sir.

He's engaged to me.

Come on, Henry.

- Blimey, the wife.
- Will you marry me?

I'm already married.

[MAN] Well, things tured
out all right in the end.

But you mustn't ask how,
because it's naughty.

They're all married

and living quite well in
a council estate near Dulwich.

[WOMAN HUMMING]

Today I want to
tell you a story.

Once upon a time,
there was an enchanted prince

who ruled the land
beyond the Wobbles.

One day, he discovered
a spot on his face.

Foolishly, he ignored it,

and three years later
he died of--

[MAN]
Gangrene.

[WOMAN]
The spot, however, flourished,

soon set out
to seek its fortune.

[MAN] Blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah Oh!

[MUFFLED]

[LAUGHS]

Blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.

[PANTING]

Mwah!

[0]

[CHURCH BELLS TOLL]

- [DOOR CLOSES]
- [WOMAN 1] Agnes, did you see

who just moved in next door?

[WOMAN 2] Yes. Black
as the ace of spades.

[WOMAN 1] Oh, there
goes the neighborhood.

Them and their smelly cooking.

[WOMAN 2]
And the noise.

[WOMAN 1]
And they breed like rabbits.

- [WOMAN 2] Oh, yes.
- [WOMAN 1] Oh, like rabbits.

[0]

Hello and welcome to
Election Night Special.

There's great excitement,
as we should be getting

the first results
through any moment now.

We don't know where from.
Maybe Leicester or Luton.

The polling's been quite heavy
in both areas--

Oh, wait a moment.
I'm just getting--

[BUZZING] A loud buzzing
noise in my left ear.

Excuse me a moment.

Ew!

Anyway, let's go straight over
to James Gilbert at Leicester.

[GILBERT]
Well, it's a straight fight

here at Leicester.

On the left
of the returning officer

you can see Arthur Smith,
the Sensible candidate,

and his agent.

And on the other side
is the Silly candidate,

Jethro Walrustitty,
with his agent and his wife.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Here is the result
for Leicester.

Arthur J. Smith--

[JAMES]
Sensible party.

[OFFICER] Thirty thousand
six hundred and twelve.

- [CROWD CHEERS]
- [SCATTERED BOOS]

Jethro Q. Walrustitty--

[GILBERT]
Silly party.

[OFFICER] thirty-two thousand
one hundred and eight.

[CROWD CHEERS]

Well, there's
the first result,

and the Silly Party have held
Leicester.

What do you make of it,
Norman?

Well, this is largely
as I predicted,

except that the
Silly Party won.

Unh...I think this is
mainly due

to the number of
votes cast. Gerald.

Uh, well, there's a swing here
to the Silly Party,

but how big a swing,
I'm not gonna tell you.

I think the interesting
thing here

is the big swing
to the Silly Party,

and, of course,
the very large swing back,

and a tendency to wobble up and
down because the screw is loose.

I'm afraid I can't
think of anything.

I can't add anything
to that. Colin.

Can I just butt in and say

this is the very first time I've
ever appeared on television?

[GILBERT]
Here at Luton,

it's a three-comered fight

between Alan Jones,
Sensible Party, in the middle,

Tarquin Fim-Tim-Lim-
Bim-Whim-Bim-Lim

Bus Stop-F'tang-F'tang-
QOlé-Biscuit Barrel, Silly Party,

and Kevin Phillips-Bong,
the Slightly Silly candidate.

Alan Jones

[GILBERT]
On the left, Sensible Party.

[OFFICER] --nine thousand
one hundred and twelve.

[CROWD CHEERS]

[OFFICER]
Kevin Phillips-Bong--

[GILBERT]
On the right, Slightly Silly.

[OFFICER]
Naught.

Tarquin Fim-Tim-Lim-
Bim-Whim-Bim-Lim

Bus Stop-F'tang-F'tang-
Olé-Biscuit Barrel--

[GILBERT
ily.

--Twelve thousand four hundred
and forty one.

[CROWD CHEERS]

[GILBERT]
And so the Silly Party

has taken Luton.

A gain for the Silly Party
at Luton.

The first gain of
the election. Norman.

This is highly significant.

Luton, normally
a very sensible constituency,

with a high proportion of
people who aren't silly,

has gone completely gaga.

Do we have the swing at Luton?

Well, I've worked out
the swing, but it's a secret.

Uh, well, um...

There-- There isn't the swing.
Um, how about the swung?

Well, I've got the swung here in
this box, and it's looking fine.

I can see through
the breathing holes

that it's eating up peanuts
ata rate of naught.

And, uh, how about the swang?

Well, it's, uh, 29 percent up
over 600 feet,

butit's a little hit soft
around the edges about--

And the nylon dot cardigan
and plastic mule rest?

- [MAN] There's no such thing!
- Thank you, Spike.

Can I just come in here and
say

that the swung has
choked itself to death.

The election's really
hotting up now.

I can't add anything to that.

Uh, can I just add at this
point, this is the second time

I've ever appeared on TV?

We're just about to
get another result.

[GILBERT] Hello, from Harpenden.
Now, this is a key seat

because in addition to
the official Silly candidate,

there is an independent
Very Silly candidate

who may split the Silly vote.

Mr. Elsie Zzz--

[GILBERT
ily.

twenty-six thousand
three hundred and seventeen.

[CROWD CHEERS]

James Walker--

[GILBERT]
Sensible.

--twenty-six thousand
three hundred and eighteen.

[GILBERT]
That was close.

Malcolm Peter-Brian-
Telescope-Adrian

Umbrella
Stand-Jasper-Wednesday

Pop-Pop-Stoat Gobbler
John-Raw Vegetable

Woff-Arthur-Norman-Michael-
Beep-Featherstone-Smith

[WHISTLES]

Northgot-Edwards-Harris

[GUNSHOT, SCREAM]

Mason-Chuff-Chuff-Chuff-Chuff
Frampton-Jones

Fruit Bat-Gilbert

I We'll Keep A Welcome
In The—-&

[THREE GUNSHOTS]

Williams-If I Could Walk
That Way-Jenkin

[KAZOO WHISTLE]

Tiger Drawers-Pratt-Thompson

♪ Raindrops Keep Falling
On My Head

Darcy-Carter

[WHISTLES]

Pussycat- & Don't Sleep
In The Subway .'

Barton-Mannering

[HORN HONKS, GRUNTS]

Smith--

[GILBERT]
Very Silly.

-two.

[GILBERT]
Well, there you have it.

A Sensible gain
here at Driffield.

- Norman?
- I've just heard from Luton

that my auntis ill.

Uh, possibly-- Possibly
gastroenteritis. Gerald.

Uh, well, if this happened
over the whole country,

it'd probably be
very messy. Colin.

Can I just butt in and say here
that it's probably the last time

I shall ever appear
on television?

No, I'm afraid we haven't
got time.

Uh, just a few results
that you may have missed.

Engelbert Humperdinck
has taken Barrow-in-Furness.

Uh, that's a gain from Ann
Haydon-Jones

and her husband, Pip.

Uh, Arthur Negus
has held Bristols.

Uh, that's...

not a result,
that's a bit of gossip.

And, uh, Mary Whitehouse
has just taken umbrage.

Could be a bit
of trouble there.

And apparently Wales
is not swinging at all.

No surprise there.

And, uh, Monty Python
has held the credits.

[0]

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]