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Gentlemen, gentlemen, wake up.
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Gentlemen, wake up. I have incredible
news.
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Is that news that you misplaced your
toothbrush?
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Zinger, no.
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Now, you know how today we're heading
into the land of the giants to offer
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them the jewel of Valenti in exchange
for joining our quest to save Princess
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Isabella? Yes, we discussed it last
night in great detail.
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There's no need for your clunky
exposition.
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Well, I have managed to trade the jewel
for something even better than an army.
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You traded the jewel? Yep, for a dragon.
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Can you believe it?
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Imagine how our foes will run in terror.
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I mean, once he grows a little.
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I'm going to call him Tad Cooper, a name
that evokes strength and valor and
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bravery. What do you think?
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I think you're a complete idiot, and
you're taking it back now.
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But I can't.
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I pinky swore and said no backsies. You
do realize that without a jewel, I have
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no army. And without an army, I have no
chance of rescuing Isabella.
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Where are you going?
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To find the giant without you.
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What? Why?
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Because I am done.
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I am done cleaning up your mess.
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I am done telling you it's not your
fault for good news for us, Richard. It
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is your fault. I'm done with your
weakness, with your whining, but most of
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all, I am done with you.
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Okay. I admit I'm on a bit of an unlucky
streak, but I am destined for great
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things.
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You see, you have about as much chance
of great things as that lizard does of
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breathing fire.
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It's a dragon, and it can breathe fire.
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Show him, Tad Cooper!
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Come on, show him.
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Come on.
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The perfect pair.
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A dragon that isn't a dragon, and a king
that isn't a king.
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Well, I am done with you two!
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Hello?
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Guess I'm eating breakfast by myself,
then.
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00:02:05,460 --> 00:02:07,060
You can't do anything right, Richard.
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Everything's done after Richard. You've
ruined my life, Richard. That's not a
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real dragon, Richard. Well, you know
what?
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Galavant may not believe in you, but I
do.
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I super believe in you, Tad Cooper.
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Hey, little fella, I know just what
you're thinking.
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Nobody gets you or sees what you could
be.
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But pluck up your courage and turn that
frown up. Soon we will eat this entire
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town up. And I believe in my dragon pal
and me.
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That's right, little fella. We'll leave
those doubters blinking.
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We're going to show them a thing or two
or three.
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Imagine the wonder that we'll inspire
when we are setting their heads on fire.
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Then we'll be even, my dragon pal and
me.
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We'll rise up and open their eyes up.
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We'll light the skies up and rain
destruction and death on their wives and
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kids.
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So when, little fella, you feel your
heart is thinking.
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Just you remember, one day we'll make
them see.
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And when they are watching completely
flipped out, as their intestines are
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being ripped out, they'll all look up to
us, then I guarantee.
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And they'll believe in my dragon pal and
me.
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They'll believe in me.
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They'll believe in me.
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I must warn you, I have a dragon.
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It's a bold tablecloth choice, but
eggplant is going to be the it colour
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this wedding season.
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Wonderful.
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Eggplant. So me.
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Oh, I'm ever so excited about my special
day.
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Oh, Barry.
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Place the order.
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My plan is working to perfection.
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It appears so, sir. Once Isabella
becomes queen, you'll be the most
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powerful man in all of Autentia. No.
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The wedding plan, you twit.
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Do you think I'd discuss the evil plan
so publicly?
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This is why I thought we agreed to call
one the plan and the other the plot to
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avoid these kind of mix-ups.
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Barry.
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What is so hard to understand? We have
two plans, right?
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One's evil and the other... Sorry.
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00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:57,040
Moving on.
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We have a serious issue to discuss.
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We've had most of the RSVPs except a
Princess Jubilee.
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I need to know if she's coming.
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00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:09,900
Just mark her as a yes and order the
steak. I'm not paying, so I don't care.
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00:05:10,260 --> 00:05:11,260
Really?
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00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,880
Well, I do care, sir.
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Barry, go on. Tell them the mirror.
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00:05:16,540 --> 00:05:17,099
Oh, dear.
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00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:22,020
He's going to hand-draw each guest's
name and table number on a fancy mirror.
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00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,700
It's a way too understated, Barry.
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00:05:26,780 --> 00:05:27,960
It's a masterstroke.
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It's both functional and a work of art,
and it'll all be for naught if the guest
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list isn't finalised. Why don't you just
make place cards?
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Place cards?
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00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:40,680
Place cards? Madam, am I planning a
royal wedding or a medical convention?
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Isabella, you think my mirror's a good
idea, don't you?
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Oh, yes.
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It's a massive joke.
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Okay, Mr. Wormwood, I don't know what
you're up to, but my daughter has been
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acting very strangely since you arrived,
and I have had enough.
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Isabella, it seems your mother doesn't
want your wedding to be perfect. Perhaps
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she should be somewhere else, you know,
somewhere secure.
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Damn.
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Somewhere dungeon-esque. A dungeon. Send
her to the dungeon.
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Send her to the dungeon. No one ruins my
special day.
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Guards! Oh,
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isn't it lovely to be working with a
client who just... gets it.
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Who goes there?
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Oh, thank goodness.
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Giants. I've been looking for you
everywhere.
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State your business, wee man.
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I'm Galavant.
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I need an army.
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And I'm told your people are among the
fiercest warriors in the land.
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Among?
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We are giants.
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With fists the size of pumpkins.
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And heads so big they blot out the sun.
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You've come to the right place.
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Because we love a good war, don't we,
fellas?
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Hush!
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Titan Colossus, pull him out!
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This is great. Thank you so much. Hi,
Caliphant.
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I'm so sorry.
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Aren't you supposed to be taller?
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I mean, not to be rude, but you did say
that your head's blocked out by the sun.
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Yes, they do block out the sun.
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It's got to catch it at the right angle.
Sorry, can I just... Here?
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There.
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Complete darkness.
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Are you sure that you're giants?
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Of course we are giants.
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It's very short times.
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Fee-fi-fo-fun.
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Well said, Titan.
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We will join you on your quest on one
condition.
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There's always a condition. Yep, go on.
You must prove your loyalty by helping
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us fight our most hated enemy, the
Dwarf.
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Stinking, tiny, awful, high-pitched
voice Dwarf. Right again, Titan. Tonight
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we meet to set the rules of battle, and
tomorrow we fight.
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What do you say?
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It shouldn't take long.
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They're only very small.
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Stop laughing!
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Yeah, why not? I'm desperate. Let's do
this.
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You know, there's something different
about you lately.
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I mean, you've only punched a couple of
people today, and I know it sounds
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crazy, but I feel like you took a bath.
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What's going on?
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All right, I'll tell you.
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I think I'm in love.
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Oh, Gareth, that's wonderful.
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Is it the executioner's daughter? You
know, the one who hangs on their legs if
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the noose doesn't quite do the trick?
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Loretta? Yeah.
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She is something.
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Evie is an iron pot, but she don't
compare to my girl.
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There she is.
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Hey, Gareth.
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Thanks again for the flowers.
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Queen Madalena?
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But we agreed she's the worst.
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Yeah.
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Dwarves approach.
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All right, lads.
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Remember, keep your cool.
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This is just a pre-fight meeting.
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We save the killing for tomorrow.
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Do you mind if I just ask what started
the feud with the dwarves?
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Must you grumble every time I say
dwarves?
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Give me the rest.
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It started generations ago.
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We were building a bridge to unite our
two peoples, half by us and half by
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them. When the day came to unveil the
bridge, they had built their side too
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low.
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And those whiny little bitches blamed us
for building our side too high.
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We have been at war ever since.
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Oh, come on.
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These aren't dwarves. We are too.
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Very tall dwarves. Look at their hideous
little bodies.
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00:10:12,690 --> 00:10:16,690
Hideous? You are the same height. You
could literally be brothers.
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Spoken like a true giant.
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A giant jerk face, that is.
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00:10:27,270 --> 00:10:28,510
Hello, gallivant.
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You're looking well. I saw you this
morning, you idiot.
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00:10:32,470 --> 00:10:34,710
I thought I'd gotten rid of you. We got
wrong then, didn't you?
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00:10:35,310 --> 00:10:39,210
It's fitting if you've taken over the
Giants, considering you're a humongous
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blowhard.
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00:10:42,570 --> 00:10:45,890
Well, then I think it's rather fitting
that you've fallen in with the Dwarves,
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considering you've been of little use to
me.
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00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,200
You desert me at camp, I spend the whole
day tracking you, only to find you're
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about to join a battle between two
groups of very similar five-foot, ten
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-inch men.
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00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,460
He lost the jewel of Valencia. He
doesn't believe in my dragon! Wait,
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what? Dragon?
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00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:19,900
I'm sorry, that's not a lizard?
199
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:21,980
Don't. Not you two.
200
00:11:22,380 --> 00:11:25,320
Look, my point is, these guys seem
really serious about killing each other.
201
00:11:25,660 --> 00:11:27,700
Don't you see how ridiculous this is?
202
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:31,980
Do you really want to die in a battle
this ludicrous?
203
00:11:34,730 --> 00:11:36,310
If he gives me a shot at Richard, yeah.
204
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:39,110
Ditto, big boy. Let's go to war.
205
00:11:39,330 --> 00:11:40,530
Tomorrow we fight.
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00:11:41,110 --> 00:11:42,730
Giants versus dwarves.
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00:11:44,150 --> 00:11:46,910
Billy, Billy, Billy. You're a giant.
Come on.
208
00:11:51,490 --> 00:11:56,030
So, hey, have you, um, by any chance
told Queen Madalena how you feel about
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00:11:56,030 --> 00:11:56,949
her?
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00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:57,950
Can I do it tonight?
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00:11:58,550 --> 00:12:02,510
Great. Or, and just thinking out loud
here...
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00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:04,460
What if you don't?
213
00:12:05,340 --> 00:12:06,340
What are you trying to say?
214
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:10,740
There's something I need to say, but
before I do, have you ever heard of the
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00:12:10,740 --> 00:12:11,740
bro code?
216
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:17,840
Is that a black thing? It means what's
said between guys stays between guys.
217
00:12:18,660 --> 00:12:22,400
Look, don't fall in love with the queen.
She's bad news.
218
00:12:22,740 --> 00:12:24,520
Think about her last three
relationships.
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00:12:24,860 --> 00:12:28,180
They ended in betrayal, exile, and
murder.
220
00:12:28,420 --> 00:12:31,880
She will rip your heart out, and I don't
mean symbolically.
221
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:38,520
Skinny. Mean.
222
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,320
Just blinded me.
223
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:42,300
Thanks for having my back.
224
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,260
Hey, that's what friends are for.
225
00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:47,680
Friends? You think we're friends?
226
00:12:48,860 --> 00:12:51,400
Well, I'm a little worried that if I
give you the wrong answer, you'll kill
227
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:56,020
me right where I sit, but... Yeah, I've
come to consider you a friend.
228
00:12:56,780 --> 00:12:57,900
Oh, so friends, then.
229
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I present... Princess Isabella of
Hortensia.
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00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,600
Oh, I'm sorry.
231
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:15,860
I'm looking for a princess.
232
00:13:16,300 --> 00:13:17,340
Princess Jubilee?
233
00:13:17,580 --> 00:13:18,580
And you've found her.
234
00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:22,620
How's it hanging?
235
00:13:24,340 --> 00:13:29,900
Hello. My wedding planner asked me to
find out why you have an RSVP to my
236
00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:30,900
fabulous wedding.
237
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,600
And why would I want to do that?
238
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,060
Because it's a wedding and we're
princesses?
239
00:13:37,660 --> 00:13:41,980
Oh, honey.
240
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:46,100
Wake up and smell my unshaved armpit.
241
00:13:53,820 --> 00:14:00,620
I like to eat meat, swill boo, wake up
with brand new
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00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:01,920
tattoos, stuff like that.
243
00:14:08,620 --> 00:14:09,980
I'm a different kind of princess.
244
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:11,520
Can't see.
245
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,800
I don't lick my pinky when I'm sipping
tea.
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00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,860
I'm a different kind of princess.
247
00:14:41,290 --> 00:14:42,290
Make a big mess.
248
00:14:42,450 --> 00:14:45,610
But this is one damsel who ain't in
distress.
249
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:49,030
I'm a different kind of princess. Don't
you think?
250
00:14:49,310 --> 00:14:54,530
I don't wear glitter and I don't like
pink. I'm a different kind of princess.
251
00:14:54,730 --> 00:14:55,930
Got no gown.
252
00:14:56,310 --> 00:14:59,810
But that ain't stopping anyone from
bowing down.
253
00:15:02,850 --> 00:15:07,910
I'm a different kind of princess. No
one's fooling if you're my kind of
254
00:15:07,910 --> 00:15:09,990
princess. Be that kind of princess.
255
00:15:46,410 --> 00:15:47,750
The huge knobby kneecap.
256
00:15:48,270 --> 00:15:50,370
And maybe keep the big mouth shut.
257
00:15:51,970 --> 00:15:56,510
Someone has got to cut them down to
size.
258
00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:58,890
Someone.
259
00:15:59,210 --> 00:16:04,090
And we're the ones who will climb them
and slap the back of their head. Let's
260
00:16:04,090 --> 00:16:05,910
match the whole bunch of dwarves, Doc.
261
00:16:06,490 --> 00:16:08,430
Stomp on those wee little tots.
262
00:16:09,530 --> 00:16:11,590
Laugh at their wee little biceps.
263
00:16:12,330 --> 00:16:14,390
And it's evicted, you know what.
264
00:16:16,060 --> 00:16:20,620
Someone should punch that baby in the
eyes.
265
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:26,440
Someone. When we're done squishing the
runs, there won't be.
266
00:17:30,730 --> 00:17:31,730
Oh, sorry, sorry.
267
00:17:32,450 --> 00:17:33,890
What the? I'm a dwarf!
268
00:17:34,290 --> 00:17:35,290
Oh, my bad.
269
00:17:36,070 --> 00:17:37,070
Everyone,
270
00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:40,850
time out.
271
00:17:43,710 --> 00:17:46,390
Show of hands, who here's a dwarf?
272
00:17:47,990 --> 00:17:50,130
Right, um, who's a giant?
273
00:17:51,790 --> 00:17:53,650
This isn't going to work. Okay, okay.
274
00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:55,550
Let's go shirts and skins.
275
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:02,480
So what are you doing?
276
00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:03,520
Fixing the bridge.
277
00:18:03,740 --> 00:18:05,360
You're fighting over nothing.
278
00:18:06,260 --> 00:18:09,740
You're so busy arguing this whole
journey that you can't see that you
279
00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:12,780
actually need each other. Please, I do
not need him.
280
00:18:13,060 --> 00:18:15,460
What's been your sole purpose this
entire time, huh?
281
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:20,100
I've been trying to rouse an army to
rescue Isabella. And how many men have
282
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,100
you got to join your quest?
283
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:24,580
One. You've got someone to join you?
284
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,000
Who is it? Do I know him?
285
00:18:26,220 --> 00:18:28,560
You, Richard. He's talking about you.
286
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,240
Roberta's right.
287
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:36,740
I'm sorry. I've been using so many
horrible words to describe you that I've
288
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:38,280
forgotten the one that describes you
best.
289
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:39,760
Musky?
290
00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:41,660
Loyal.
291
00:18:44,060 --> 00:18:45,060
Forgive me.
292
00:18:45,780 --> 00:18:46,780
Rejoin my quest.
293
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,320
It would be my honor.
294
00:18:49,820 --> 00:18:56,140
But first, I must ask, do you believe
that Tad Cooper is actually a dragon?
295
00:18:57,460 --> 00:18:58,900
I believe...
296
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:00,780
You believe he is.
297
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,100
I knew it.
298
00:19:03,180 --> 00:19:04,079
Do you hear that?
299
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:05,440
He believes in us, Tad Cooper.
300
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:07,980
Right, well, now all the fighting's
over.
301
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:09,500
Off to Hortensia.
302
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,360
Actually, I think we need to bow out.
303
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:15,800
Before we do any more fighting, I think
there's a certain brig that needs our
304
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:16,800
attention.
305
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,040
What say you, giant?
306
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:20,640
Right you are, dwarf.
307
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:22,440
Right you are.
308
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,820
Now, give me that little hand of yours.
309
00:19:33,350 --> 00:19:34,350
Hey there, friend.
310
00:19:34,790 --> 00:19:36,910
Got a pair of tickets to tonight's
joust?
311
00:19:37,630 --> 00:19:38,630
Third row.
312
00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:39,549
Wanna go?
313
00:19:39,550 --> 00:19:41,410
Last time I sat there, I caught a tooth.
314
00:19:41,630 --> 00:19:42,630
Can I still have it?
315
00:19:42,910 --> 00:19:43,910
No, thanks.
316
00:19:43,930 --> 00:19:44,930
But you love violence.
317
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:48,770
Yeah, I know, but I think it'd be better
if you went without me. You should go
318
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:49,770
like hell.
319
00:19:49,970 --> 00:19:50,970
Is it him?
320
00:19:51,070 --> 00:19:52,070
Oh, crap.
321
00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:54,729
My queen.
322
00:19:54,730 --> 00:19:56,250
Oh, don't you my queen me.
323
00:19:56,870 --> 00:19:58,450
I'm bad news, am I?
324
00:19:59,290 --> 00:20:00,450
You told her what I said.
325
00:20:00,790 --> 00:20:01,790
Only that little bit.
326
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,620
I'll rip his heart out and you don't
mean symbolically.
327
00:20:05,220 --> 00:20:08,420
Okay, I told her the whole thing. I'm
more shrew than woman.
328
00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:09,740
And I made some stuff up.
329
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,120
What about the bro code?
330
00:20:11,540 --> 00:20:12,540
I know.
331
00:20:13,220 --> 00:20:15,960
I'm starting to really like her. She's
super pretty.
332
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:19,240
I just started talking and... I think
you better run. Guard!
333
00:20:19,780 --> 00:20:20,780
Kill him.
334
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:30,620
Turns out I like you too.
335
00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:44,370
Hey there, old buddy, you know what I
believe in?
336
00:20:46,190 --> 00:20:48,370
I think we're gonna pull through.
337
00:20:48,630 --> 00:20:49,950
Me too. Me three.
338
00:20:54,850 --> 00:20:58,130
Yes, I believe something might just have
started.
339
00:20:59,550 --> 00:21:03,490
And I believe I'll be joining the dear
departed.
340
00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:09,870
And I believe I have a wedding planner
to see.
341
00:21:12,710 --> 00:21:14,050
Better believe it.
342
00:21:15,570 --> 00:21:17,090
His ass belongs to me.
343
00:21:18,850 --> 00:21:19,850
Gabby, no. Gabby, no.
24721
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