All language subtitles for Galavant203

This was a hallway.

Hallway, hallway, hallway, my room,
fireplace.

This is where I kept my formal crowns,
my casual crowns, my just for fun

crowns. Yes, this is definitely where my
castle was. Okay, are we done?

Because I either need to find your army
or I need to go and find another one so

I can go and save Isabella. Now relax,
chisel chin, you'll get my army.

I just have to figure out where they
went and if they took my castle with

them.

Strangest thing, I...

I know I've never seen this village
before, and it somehow seems oddly

familiar to me.

I say, peasant, I have a question.

Please, don't get all starstruck because
I'm speaking to you directly.

No way!

It's you!

I know. You're flustered. Guys, look,
it's Sir Galavant, the famous knight.

Hello. Hi.

What's real?

Is there perhaps someone else here you
recognise? Maybe...

Your king?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Greetings, lowly ones. It is I, King
Richard. I have returned.

Good to see you again. So, I have a
question. What the hell happened to my

castle? Yeah, we sort of tore it down to
make homes and shops for everybody.

Well, that will explain the familiarity.

You knocked it down? I demand to rebuild
it immediately, or I will have every one

of you drawn and quartered.

What's going on?

Why are they not scurrying to do my
bidding?

Oh, well, here's the thing.

When you left us to go in search of the
jewel of Valencia, we didn't hear

anything for a really long time.

All right, that's fair. That's on me. I
should have sent a pigeon or two.

Yeah, but while you were away, we
realised that a king is only a king if

the people say he is. And if they don't,
well, he's...

Just a man with a metal hat who's only
in charge because his father wore a

metal hat before him.

Which is pretty crazy if you think about
it.

You know, he's got a point. It is pretty
crazy.

So then we came together and asked
ourselves what if there was a different

way of doing things?

A better way?

A fairer way?

Oh, no, I know what's coming.

We've been trying something new in the
Dominion since you went away.

With no king upon the throne, we've all
been left alone to build a new tomorrow

here today.

Right. What if every single soul with an
opinion got to have their say?

If on every point of note we simply took
our vote, we'd build a new tomorrow here

today. So, the butcher gets a vote? Yep.
The baker gets a vote? Yep. And everyone

who couldn't vote before?

Except, of course, the women. And we
won't let him or him in. We mean

everybody else. Except the poor.

Progressive for the Middle Ages.

Then we vote on every pressing public
question.

Either... Yay!

Or... Yay!

Nice. Everybody gets to choose. Except
the you. No.

As we build a new tomorrow here today.

If you'd like to make a statement or
suggestion, simply stand.

And... Hey, him? Every person counts the
same. Except, of course, the lame. And

the lepers. And the gingers. And the
witches.

And the heathens. And the bastards. And
the gypsies. And the carnies. And the

hippies. And we're building you
tomorrow.

A fair and square tomorrow.

A more aware tomorrow in the day.

So we all march together towards the
future.

Well, not all per se.

Just the ones who look like me. It's
called the march.

The landed. And the wealthy. And the
pious. And the healthy. And the straight

one. And the pale one. And we only mean
the male one. If you're all of the

above, then you're okay.

As we build a new tomorrow here today.

Well, that is intriguing.

Voting who to fight?

If you're about to bring up looking for
an army again, I swear to God I will

freak out because I just lost my...
Tachi.

Hello,

my friend.

Richard!

Surprise. What are you doing here?

I just thought I'd pop in for a visit.

Come here, you. Give us a hug.

Hey, the crown. Don't worry, I'll get
it.

What the hay, girl?

Ah!

Oh, bloody hell, not again.

That is the third time this week the
king has woken me because of his

screaming. I think you're having bad
dreams, my queen.

I want you to fix it.

How do I do that?

Not my problem.

What is my problem is his screaming is
interrupting my beauty sleep.

And you know what happens when a queen
loses her beauty sleep?

She can sleep in later because she's a
queen and she can do whatever she wants?

She could get a wrinkle.

And if she gets a wrinkle, she'll make
sure you get a wrinkle.

On your neck!

I'm sorry, I'm not being very clear. I'm
really tired. What I'm trying to say is

if you don't fix it, I'll cut your
throat, okay?

Nighty-night.

No, I never loved you, Isabella.

But I don't understand, Gullivan.

Too bad, sucker.

I'm outie.

Play it again.

Apologies, my lady, but do you really
think it's healthy to keep reliving this

breakup with Gullivan? I said, play it
again.

I'm Gullivan, the jerkiest jerk in all
the land.

Excuse us, Jester. May we have a moment
with our daughter?

Oh, thank God.

Sweetheart, as you know, we're very
sorry about Galavan ditching you. He

dropped you like a plague rat.

But it's been several days.

And that biological sundial of yours
continues to grow long, if you know what

I mean. To 25.

My mother was a great-grandmother by
then. And while we're happy you agreed

to be forced to marry your cousin, maybe
it's time to start making some

decisions. At least meet the wedding
planner.

He's very excited to meet you.

I don't care about any of it from
marrying someone I love.

Oh, sweetie.

Married isn't about love.

Let me introduce you to Mr.

Wormwood.

Princess Isabella. How delightful.

Just a Wormwood of Wormwood weddings and
events.

I'm here solely to serve your every wish
and desire.

This is our new rec centre.

We're very proud of it.

Oh, my God. Those curtains used to be my
sheep. I know because I had the arse

embroidered with the plucked hairs of
all the kingdom's redhead. You'll find

we've turned everything from the castle
into something for the common good.

Are you sure you're not planning some
big surprise where you're going to wheel

away some huge wagon to reveal you've
rebuilt my castle but only better?

Sorry, buddy.

Oh, funny.

Oh, great. That's what it is now. It's
not my king or your worship or your

highness. It's Paddy.

God.

I have a question.

Do you still have an army?

Uh, citizens' army, yes. Good. I'd like
to use it to invade Hortensia.

Absolutely not.

Really? Oh, hang on. I thought this was
a democracy.

Aren't you supposed to let the people
decide?

Oh, yeah.

Tell you what, there's a town hall
meeting tonight where anybody can bring

up new business.

Why don't you give it a shot there?

Okay. Though I can't imagine the three
people ever voting to send an army into

an open-ended foreign conflict which
profits only the few.

That would be madness.

Well, sure.

But you're forgetting one thing.

Their smile.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, it is nice, isn't it? Help!
Help! That's my...

Sir, have you been having bad dreams?

Who's been telling you I'm having bad
dreams? The Queen.

She's heard you screaming at night and
wants me to help.

Come here.

Oh, God, this is it.

Shut up.

I'm not going to kill you.

Yes, OK.

I've been having bad dreams about King
Richard.

I don't know what to do.

Well, when I was younger, I had a
recurring nightmare.

But then my mum helped me figure out
what it meant and it went away.

No, this is more complicated than that.
It's more of a riddle.

I'm always holding King Richard's crown.

He's accusing me of betraying him.

Yeah, that's a real enigma.

Do you think that maybe you're feeling,
I don't know, a little guilty?

What's guilty?

Oh, um, when you feel bad about what
you've done.

That's not a thing.

Oh, it's my time talking to you.

What do you think?

How about die for the guy who wants his
gal? See, gal is a play on your name,

and it rhymes. Yeah, I think it's good.
I just think it's a bit dumb for me.

Oh, but it's not too dumb for me.

I can't even write a slogan for a stupid
election. I'm not a writer. I'm not a

castle owner.

I'm not a king. Do we have to do this
again?

Do what?

Realize I'm in the darkest hour of my
soul?

Just go win your stupid election.

Okay.

Hello. Galavant.

Hi.

King Richard.

You're... Is it just Richard?

Honestly, I've no idea what I am.

Whoo!

If I were a jolly blacksmith, what a
happy guy I'd be.

I would do all kinds of blacksmith stuff
in my blacksmithery.

I would hit the thing with the other
thing till I made a different thing.

If I were a jolly blacksmith.

No, not feeling it. Besides, I'd get
filthy.

There must be something better.

If I were a friendly farmer, wouldn't
that be oh so sweet?

I'd be planting greens and lots of beans
and other things to eat.

Then I'd plant some eggs, then a couple
pigs, then a yummy chocolate cake.

No, that's not right.

Besides, any moron can plant a cake.

It would be special, needed, liked.

I've got it!

If I were a merry brewer, that would be
a grand career.

I would pick the grapes and peel the
grapes and stomp them into beer. Damn

it!

I don't know how to do anything except
be a king.

No one wants me to be a king.

If I'm just a jolly... Nothing.

What am I supposed to do?

I don't have a skill, no niche to fill.

No one to come home to.

Don't know where to go.

Don't know how to fit.

Don't know who to even be.

If I were a jolly...

Tailor, juggler, barber, wet nurse,

cesspool worker.

What difference does it make?

I would still...

Perfect. Barry, the princess is on her
way now. Remember, not a word about my

plan. The wedding plan?

I thought that's why she's come in. No,
the evil plan, you idiot. The one to

control her mind with this enchanted
tiara and take over the kingdom.

I thought that was the scheme.

No, the scheme is the colours.

I'm confused.

Barry, I swear to God...

Okay, for Clarice's sake, from now on,
we'll call it the wedding plan, the evil

plot, and the cover scheme.

Got it?

Good. Oh, she's here. Be cool.

Princess Isabella!

How delightful.

Welcome.

Let's just get this over with.

I don't care, I don't care, and I don't
care.

Decision's made.

Let's go.

Isabella? Mother.

I may have agreed to get married, but
I'm not going to be happy about it. Oh,

but my dear, I've so much planned for
you. Trust me, this is going to be fun.

First we get to choose invitation.

Make a list of distant relations.

Then we can decide on bridesmaids.
You'll need about 20. Tell me you're

joking, please.

Next we're trying dozens of dresses.

Settle on a do for your dresses.

Then we're well on our way to the
happiest day of your life. Right, so if

we just dance. We'll make you glorious.
La, la, la, la, la, la. And then select

a manicurist. La, la, la, la, la, la.
You'll want to register at all the cops'

calls with Indy Town Walls. No doubt.

Kill me now.

Next on the checklist.

We'll get you bracelets at the next
twist.

Just wait and see. It's going to be like
the wedding we've always dreamed about.

You've got to make it stop.

Then we'll have to spruce up the venue.

Figure out a 30-course menu.

Find a guy to draw some pictures. You're
going to want plenty.

Plus we must audition some bands, too.

Choose the song you'll do your first
dance to.

The whole stupid cliche.

On the happiest day of your life. I
can't believe this.

And up on your head.

Glowing right above your forehead.

You will wear this little present from
me, enchanted to steal yourself.

And once it's on you, it will cast a
spell upon you.

You'll do everything I tell you to do,
and ruling through you, I'll seize full

command. Get rid of the prince, install
my own men, take over the throne, till I

be complete.

Nothing to see here. Moving on.

That you are standing around for We've
got an affair to break around for

There's so much to do Guess who is
becoming a wife?

To ruin my husband's only eleven Till
the wedding's gonna be heaven Go and get

my bouquet It's the happiest day of my
life Cousin Harry will pay It's the

happiest day of my life Now you...

in favour of moving the drinking well
away from the graveyard, say yay.

Yay. Will the pose say... Do they prefer
to decide their fate by majority opinion

rather than being ruled by me, whose
right to kingship was passed down from

ancestors said to be a god and a
mermaid?

Fools. What are you, the town drunk?

I wish.

At least then I'd known I was supposed
to be.

That position was already taken.

Lucky bastard.

What? It concludes all old business, but
I do believe we have one bit of new

business. Gallivant, the floor is yours.

Hello, Gallivant. I've come to ask to
take your army to Hortensia to rescue my

one true love.

Who? Maddalena? No, Isabella.

Didn't you already do that?

I don't think I'm quite explaining this
properly. You see, Isabella is actually

being held hostage.

We know, in Valencia.

Uh, no.

Again, that's Maddalena. Isabella is in
Hortensia.

I don't think he knows what he's talking
about.

No, I do. You're just not listening.
It's true love, people. I just need your

vote, please.

Die for the guy who loves his gal?

Boo. Boo.

Can you hear yourself?

Zero. All right, zero.

You suck. I can't believe what I'm
hearing.

Standing before you is a man of noble
intention. A man who knows what his

purpose is, to be a hero.

I admire that.

Well, I am no longer your king.

Unless, of course, you'd like to put it
to a quick vote.

All in favor?

Yes? Anyone?

No?

Fine. But...

If I were still your king, I would force
every one of you to join this man's

army. Not because I was a tyrant and a
terrible leader who hosted baby fights,

which I now realize is weird and not
that entertaining, even after the

addition of the cobra, but because true
love is rare and worth fighting for.

It is life's greatest purpose.

So, as someone who is not your king, I
ask,

who will join this fight for true love?

I will join King Richard.

Well, there we go. That's a good start.
Right.

Who's next?

Anyone at all?

This is certainly uncomfortable.

Ah!

You did this to me.

He's trying to get me killed.

I saw his head. It was right there.

And it was giving me that look.

My king, think I know what's going on.

Richard was your friend.

And yes, you took his throne and his
queen and his kingdom and his favorite

shirts and his weekly bridge. Oh, get on
with it.

The fact you feel bad about it is a good
thing.

It means you're actually surprisingly
human.

Maybe I do feel guilty.

I do miss the old bastard.

Look, there was one other thing my
mother used to do for my dreams.

Good dreams only.

Good dreams only.

Bad dreams out of this head.

It's time tonight for dreams of the
bright...

Little boy's bed.

There's one more in there.

So, what now?

I'm off to Hortensia to rescue Isabella,
recruit consultants along the way, and

after that, march to Valencia to reclaim
her kingdom.

Well? I may have a surprise.

Your old pal Rick's going to join you.

What? No, no, no, no, no. You said you
were going to stay here and figure out

who you are. And I did.

I realized I'm the guy who's going to
help you rescue Isabella.

Even though, technically, I'm the guy
who started the whole disaster.

So, what do you say?

Why not?

Awesome! You, me, Roberta. Oh, this is
Roberta, by the way. Do you remember

her? From the election, she stood up and
pledged to join me.

Oh,

Roberta. Yes, my king?

She calls me king.

Oh, my God.

Oh, this is going to be so much fun.

No, it's not.

We should probably go. I stole these
horses and just set fire to the rec

center.

Dismantle my castle, will you?

Princess Isabella, isn't there something
you might want to say?

Good news, everyone.

I've set a date for my wedding.

It's in six weeks, and you're all in...

Does something seem different

about Princess Isabella?