All language subtitles for 093 - grownish606

Chivalry. Maybe it's dead.

Depending on who you ask. But is that
really such a bad thing? What started as

a catch-all for honor, justice, all that
good stuff, morphed into a catch-all for

the gendered ideals of courtship. But
drawing from inspirational figures like

RBG and Ida B. Wells, women started
demanding a seat at the table. And

chivalry became about more than who was
holding the door. Our generation has

made a point to buck these sexist norms
that we inherited from our parents.

You know, the ones that were designed to
uphold the notions that men should

protect and provide for their women.

After you.

Bye, and sis, please.

Okay, bye.

All right.

The good news is we've blown up the old
rules our parents taught.

But the bad news is the new rules are
still TBD.

Oh, my God, this can't be happening.

It's fine.

Shit! Can someone help me?

Andre, are you in there?

I'll be right there.

Um, I will be just a minute. This will
be quick.

Don't move, please.

Sorry, my laptop charger fell behind my
dresser and I've got the term paper due

and my computer's at 4%. Stay less,
girl. I got this.

You're a lifesaver. And don't call me
girl. Boy.

Understood.

Friend. Thank you.

Now, let's go where we left off.

Open retainer case.

Bonnet on.

Five-minute gratitude journal?

Damn it.

The moment's passed.

I'm going to bed.

Is there anything that I can do to bring
the moment back? I'm so sorry. Maybe

like... Okay.

Hey, babe,

can you turn the lights back on? I can't
find my jammies.

I want to go.

It's a little weird. What you're saying
is wrong.

No, no, no.

You sound like you're from the Stone
Age. I'm going to tell you it's a little

weird. Trust me.

Okay, we're going to ask this young
gentleman right here. Please.

He's going to agree with me. Whoa, whoa,
whoa. You're riding in the car with a

woman. This woman is driving the car.
She stops for gas and... I pump.

What am I, a savage? Put it right there.

Case closed. You pump. If you're driving
with a woman, you pump. Unless you're a

child, the elderly, or you have the
misfortune of living in New Jersey.

No, no, no. Sloan is a modern woman and
she's just used to doing things for her

son.

He didn't say that. He's joking.

Okay, yes. Cat's out of the bag.

Pig's out of the blanket.

Jordan's out of the box.

Sloan got a kid.

That's very real. It's too much. I'm
sorry, bro. I know you really liked her.

Yeah. All right, peace alone, man. She
had so much potential. She really did.

She really did.

You guys want to go hoop?

No. No, no. What? I said she has a kid,
not a side ponytail.

Look, I really like her, and I want to
see where it goes. It goes to parent

-teacher conferences at 23 years old,
man.

Every Thursday, you can see Mrs. Susan.

Look, I have a year of maturity, and
wisdom over you, Douglas.

And even I'm not ready for that.

Okay?

Okay, well, if this was a year ago, yes,
I would have told y'all to go tell her

that I died in a parking lot carnival
accident, okay?

I remember that. It was very me, but
now, I feel like my life's on the right

track, and I'm ready for something
serious.

You know what?

I'm proud of you for letting your heart
lead. It's beautiful.

Okay, sure. There's a lot of growth
going on around here. This is really

good.

Just got an email from Dr. H. Bay.

Dr. Uwe? Look at her. Dr. Ichbe.

Well, her name's Dr. Edith Horn, all
right? The professor has paired us up

together because we're doing a project
focusing on student mental health. And

this Betty White-ass lady has up and
decided what her project was going to

focus on without asking me, the darling
of the campus.

You got to show her who the Osprey is,
all right?

Sometimes I think about grown guys.

We'll see you about mama tomorrow.

Hey, yo, baby's first photo shoot. Hi,
thank you for coming.

Also, I don't want to hear a word about
my feminism going out the window. I got

you. I'm so new to this, and I don't
know if people are, like, giving me

attitude or if they're just serving.

Who? I don't know. I don't know. Can you
just hype me up? I got you. Hype me up.

I got you. I'll be like a soccer mom,
but louder.

Woo-woo!

Also, will you cosplay as my manager?
Because I've been putting out signing

this contract all day. I don't know what
any of these words mean.

I would love to.

Oh, likeness, rights, and perpetuity.
No, no, no.

Whose day do I have to ruin?

Excuse me. You. Yes.

Hey. Hi.

Congrats on your first gig.

I'm so honored that I could help you pop
your photo shoot, Sherry. Thank you.

Well, if I don't totally blow it, we
should go celebrate.

I'd love to.

Wednesday night?

Like, like dinner time?

It's usually the meal you eat at night.

I mean, we could go to IHOP if you
really want. No, I mean, Wednesday's

perfect. Sounds chill.

Sounds chill.

See you later.

I cannot believe you've never been here
before, man.

You got to try that salad right here.
Oh, that's right.

Mm. Mm.

Notes of pressed hair, wet dumpster, and
a beer I never want to try again.

You just don't have a refined palate
like Ruby. Please. Your palate is about

as refined as my five-year-old.

Oh, my god.

I got to win one of those for Avery
before we leave.

It'll make me feel less guilty about
being away from you. What you feel

guilty for? You're a great mom.

Oh, I know I'm a great mom.

But you know, sometimes when I'm taking
time for myself, I feel like I could be

taking him for a bike ride or something.

I mean, it would be nice to meet him one
day.

Oh, I'm not going to do you like that.

punches this other dude right in the
middle of the skating rink because he

was hot-dogging in front of Lauren. So,
obviously, she's freaking out. She texts

me to come over. I'm zooming quickly to
pick her up. Oh, so that's why you were

an hour late for our date tonight. The
one that we talked about several times.

Oh. Oh, I'm...

I'm so sorry I didn't think you'd be mad
at me for helping Warren. I mean, I just

thought that we'd spend our time
together as a couple, not me hearing you

go on and on about this low-stakes
heroic tale.

Okay, you know what?

Noted.

But if you're interested in a
high-stakes story, I know just the one

tip. I have to pay for midterms.

And you have to be on the lookout for
the next damsel in distress.

It's just when he's with me, I want him
to really be with me, not dashing off to

move dressers or bragging about saving a
girl from the roller rink. That's so

weird. Andre just saved me from a bad
date at a roller rink.

Girl, how do you go to the same school
as us?

I have an IQ of 146.

Okay, but in our defense, Andre never
said he was busy with you. That's even

worse. Look, I'm not saying you should
ignore your problems, but I need him to

be my boyfriend.

And the thing is, he doesn't even know
why I'm mad at him. I don't know why

Annika's mad at me. The only reason she
liked me in the first place is because I

always showed up for her as a friend.
Oh, so you kept in Sabo to keep your

other options open. No, I just, I don't
know what to do.

When a friend is in a crisis, what
should I do? Should I ignore them?

That doesn't feel like the right thing.
The right thing feels like stepping up.

It's better than getting stepped on.

Yeah, I'd like me to step on by a woman.

Not yet to meet a lady who didn't have
feelings. Of course yours is going to

have some. For the other ones, they're
just here. They need somebody to move

stuff for them.

I would just like the record to show
that I did not ask for his help out of

some sort of, like, gender bias.

I would also just like the record to
show that I don't feel bad about asking

for his help because I was scared, I was
alone, and I was at a roller rink.

To be clear...

I love how close you guys are with
Andre, but let's just be real. If I made

a plate for one of his frat brothers or
did some other dude's laundry, he would

be so jealous, he would start lifting
weights again.

Look, women always want it both ways.
It's like, Sloane loves it when I plan a

date night and then she always says I'm
too old school. That's why I say, if

less we're dating, it's a strong maybe.

Lesbians should be allowed to partake in
your little toxic hetero traditions if

it benefits them.

Like go to a dinner date for two at a
vegan fusion restaurant.

I don't know if it's a date. She is the
one who suggested dinner for two, but

I'm the one who suggested that we
celebrate.

Too bad you're not in a hetero
relationship.

Girl. No, please.

Continue. I'm actually dying to see
where this goes.

If the guy offered to pay for dinner,
you would know it was a date.

Not all guys pay. Not all girls want
them to.

It's like as soon as the check comes,
their dresses don't have pockets

anymore, right? Most dresses don't have
pockets. But I also think it makes more

sense that if you make the most money,
you should cover the bill.

Look, just because you're going Dutch
doesn't mean it's not a date. I would

rather be alone forever than date a guy
who doesn't pay. I mean, that's just how

I was raised.

My mom doesn't even have access to a
credit card.

But that's just because women be
shopping.

Okay, let's focus up, please.

I still don't know if it's a date, and I
don't have your little hetero cheat

codes. Okay, so just take things into
your own hands. Pivot in yourself before

she can even say let's split. Power
move.

Date declared. Honestly, I wish I
thought of that.

Okay, I'll do it. But only if you tell
Andre that you need him to prioritize

you. These two things are not equal in
boldness or necessity, but fine.

Douglas, Andre, presumable frat people
and or cult members.

How you guys doing? I'm at home.

Your full name is Douglas?

Well, you seem like you're in a better
mood. Well, yeah, I just emailed Dr.

Ballbuster and basically told her how
we're going to do the research. I told

her what kind of data we're going to use
and that everything needs to flow

through me. You poke the bear long
enough, you get the claws. You know what

I'm talking about.

What? I don't. You on some penitentiary
shit, huh? No. Dude, academia is just

like jail, man. First day, you got to
walk in, shake them up.

Intellectually, of course. Damn. Well,
assuming that all the murder talk is

hypothetical, I'm happy for you. Thanks,
man.

Well, look who emailed me back.

Professor Jackson, thank you for such
spirited feedback. I would like to

discuss this further. Please come to my
office tomorrow at 4 p.m. Don't be late.

Looks like Granny couldn't miss the
early bird special, huh?

I'm not nervous about it.

I'm just going to go check it out.
That's fantastic.

Well, at least one of us isn't
struggling with the ladies, I guess. No,

bro, I'm driving the struggle bus. I
mean, I asked Sloane if I could be

introduced to her kid, and she laughed
it off.

I was just trying to show I cared. It
wasn't that deep. Well, then I guess you

just do whatever you can to show her,
then. I got you on this one.

Like, uh, get a kid some Legos.

Talk to me. Okay. Another one is... Show
the boy how to throw a punch.

Okay. The last one, maybe the arguably
the best one.

Get a boy a beer.

Wait, get the boy a beer? Maybe not that
one. If I know anything about women, the

four worst words that you could ever say
are, but you never asked.

Doug, special delivery for you. Well, I
have a special delivery

for you.

Surprise.

Because you said your little man like
riding bike.

Why

would

you buy my son a bike without asking me
first?

I just thought I was doing right by you
because I wanted to be the kind of guy

that steps up for you, no questions
asked.

Well, you should have asked before you
did that.

Because now you're a grown-ass man
buying a bike for a boy that you've

never even met.

Yeah, that wasn't the slam dunk I
thought it was in my head.

It is not.

Come on, let's do it. Look, I'm sorry,
and I want you to know I'm

a bit out of my depth here. I've never
been with someone that's had a kid

before. I was just trying to show you
I'm all in because I really, really like

you.

And I really, really like you, too.

I mean, I love having fun with you. And
I know you are a good man.

But I don't think you need to buy my son
a bike in order to prove that.

I'm sorry for thinking that that was a
good idea. I may have acted on some very

flawed advice.

You think?

Next time.

Next time?

I ask you what you want.

Now, that's the sexiest thing a man can
ask.

Sorry I'm late, Professor. I got here
when I... Come.

Sit.

You're, um... You're the Edith from the
psych department at Cal U?

Wow. Okay, wow.

First, Edith, let me just start by
saying... Wow.

Um, secondly, I'm excited to be working
with you, Edith. I really am. It's Dr.

Horne. At least that's what they call me
when I successfully defended my

dissertation at Georgetown.

Before we get started, I wanted to touch
base on our email exchange.

We don't have to.

Look, it's in the bridge, water under
the past. You know what I mean?

To be honest, I didn't even realize I
sent you an email. Was it from a Hotmail

account? Because my Hotmail account has
been acting up. It has a mind of its

own. Well, from your mind came, you must
read Psychology Yesterday.

Because otherwise, you'd know I'm the
voice of black mental health on campus.

There's too many cooks.

In this kitchen. I don't have my
glasses. I'm not sure I can see this.

Oh, yeah.

Highlighter. Wow.

Okay, I see the confusion right here.
There's too many cooks.

That's supposed to be T-W-O, not T-O-O.
So I meant two cooks in the kitchen,

which is the desired number.

Kind of like a TV show, The Bear. You
seen that? Yes, Chef. No, Chef. Thank

you, Chef.

Corner?

No.

I'm going to cut the BS, okay? I thought
you were a white woman.

An old...

white lady maybe next time do a little
research before you start firing off

wild emails and to be clear you
shouldn't be emailing female colleagues

like this of any race you're 100 right
and i'm sorry the truth is this

university has kind of put me through
the ringer a couple of million times so

i'm a little defensive when it comes to
issues that affect our people calm down

cornell but i get it

Having spent my whole career in
academia, I've been there.

So can we start over?

If you're willing to have me, I'd love
to work with you on this, Dr. Horn.

If I didn't want to work with you, we
wouldn't be having this conversation.

Understood. By the way, you're lucky.

If I wasn't all white lady, I would have
gone full Karen on your ass.

What an inspired choice to replace eggs
with chickpeas in an egg salad

flatbread.

Yeah.

Almost as inspired as your crazy amazing
photos from the shoot the other day.

Whenever you're ready.

Or you're ready.

Here. Thank you.

Okay, Fleck.

No, no. It was my treat as a thank you
for helping me get the gig.

Also, I asked you. I'm sure you skipped
a date or something to be here. Well,

I'll get the tip as a thank you for
dinner.

I know you were pissed at me this week
for not respecting our time together,

but I want you to know that you have my
complete attention tonight.

I promise.

Good. Because I want to get weird
tonight.

No strip.

Yes, ma'am.

Hey, does anyone know how to cut a
pineapple?

I actually do know how to cut open a
pineapple, and it can be very dangerous.

Just let her learn to cut a pineapple on
her own and prioritize me for once.

I was just trying to help.

Look, I love that you like being the
problem solver, but when you're doing

everything for everyone else, it just
makes it really hard for me to feel

special to you.

No, you are special to me.

And if I'm not making you feel that way,
then I've got work to do.

I do too.

My whole life I felt like I had to be
strong, but you're the first person to

make me feel like it's okay to let my
guard down.

Really?

Asking for what I want makes me
vulnerable.

So when you don't hear me, it just
confirms that fear

for me.

I'm sorry.

No, no, you have nothing to apologize
for.

And of course I want to be a good guy,
but I want to be a good boyfriend more

than anything.

You are.

Look at us.

Resolving our issues without some big
blow-up.

I know. We really are maturing.

Sorry to bug you guys, but I think I
messed up and I'm starting to get, like,

really... Dizzy, okay, no, hospital.
Okay, okay, yep.

I'll go pull the car around and you...
Do you keep her hands above her heart?

Yep, hands up.

Sure, chivalry can be as basic as
holding the door open for someone.

But it can also be a lot more.

Sometimes the noble thing isn't jumping
in and taking control, but stepping back

and lending support.

Other times, it means figuring out when
and where you're needed most.

I guess for us, the only way to define
chivalry is

it looks a lot like communication.

And ordering an extra side of fry, even
when your girl says she isn't hungry.

You want me to drive you home?

Sure. Okay.

And maybe you can come inside and meet a
little man.

Oh.

I mean, I would love to, if you're ready
for that, though.

Call me. I am.

Call me.

That is how I took the food delivery
robot to court and won.

I have so many blocked numbers as a
result. Do you want me to call a car?

Is it a date?

Do you want it to be?

Do you always have to make things so
difficult?

Well let me make it easy for you.