All language subtitles for Will & Grace (1998) - S08E14 - I Love L. Gay 1080p WEBDL h264 AAC 2.0

This is so exciting, being in L.A.

I already feel like I'm tanner, thinner,

and that I have to hide my homosexuality
to be cast as a leading man.

Hey, look, all the people in
this hotel are looking at me.

They probably think I'm someone
super famous checking in.

- Excuse me. Are you--
- Nicole Kidman? No.

I was going to say Kathy Griffin.

I'll take it.

Elliot, hold those bags a little higher.

When we were walking by the gutter you
almost hit Colin Farrell in the head.

Elliot, you must be so excited.

I can't believe you
might be going to UCLA.

I just seems like yesterday you
were playing with a GI Joe doll

and spilling you juice box on our rug.

That was yesterday. And it was Jack.

No, but it's so cool of you and
Will to come check out UCLA with us.

Of course, Elliot. I mean, we
wouldn't miss it. You're family.

You wanna come next month when
we check out University of Kansas?

Oh, God no. What celebrities live there?

Truman and Adler checking in.

Move it. Me first.

Hello, Mr. I Moved Here
To Become An Actor, Failed,

And Then Decided Working In A Hotel Is
Really What I Wanted To Do After All.

Karen Walker checking in.

I reserved the entire eighth
floor and bungalow two.

I'm like doggie. I
can't poo in my own cage.

The bellman will see you upstairs.

Jack, you think we
could go up to the room?

I wanna be early for our campus tour.

Yeah, you're gonna love our room.

I requested a view of
the Hollywood hills.

So if it rains, we can watch all
the houses slide down the hill.

Thank you.

All right, let's go.

My God. That looked like James.

Remember? The- That guy that I met the
night of The Sound of Music sing-along?

Will, you've got to stop.

You've thought you've seen this James
guy, like, ten times in the last month.

He was not in line at Dean and DeLuca.

He was not our pilot
who flew us out here.

And he was definitely not cured of
blindness on that Christian station.

I know. It's just... I wish I got
his last name or his phone number.

I've been back to that theater, like
six times hoping to run into him again.

I actually had to buy a
ticket to Big Momma's House 2.

Had to? You've been quoting
lines from that movie all week.

"Momma's gonna dole out
some justice up in here!"

Are our rooms next to each other?

Yes, they are. Can they not be?

Will?

James? Oh, my God. It is you!

Hey. Wow, this is so bizarre.
What are you doing out here?

I'm on vacation. What
are you doing here?

I'm working. I'm a photographer.
You wanna go get a drink?

Yeah. I can't--
This is so weird.

I swear for the last month,
I've been seeing you everywhere.

Me, too.

I actually thought I saw you at Williams
Sonoma trying on bunny rabbit oven mitts.

Heh-heh... That was me.

WILL AND GRACE
I Love L. Gay - S08 E014

Transcript: http://www.durfee.net/
Syncro: ovidurex

Karen? Have you seen
Elliot? I'm worried sick.

He went out to a party
last night with some kids

he met on the campus tour
and stayed out all night.

Honey, that's not good.

Well, I can tell you he wasn't
at the Phi Theta Mu house.

Fun party. More like the
"I Felta Thigh" house.

I did a beer bong and cuddled
with a girl named Lindsay.

Hey, guys.

Oh, Elliot! Where were you?

I wanna know exactly
where you were last night.

I went to a party with some
people and did some stuff.

Oh, okay. Now that I know the
details, I feel so much better.

I'm gonna go crash.

Honey, what the hell was that?

Oh, you saw that? I had to pull my
pants out of my butt a little bit.

No. Elliot owes you an explanation.

Jackie, you're his father. You've
got to start acting like one.

Well, it's hard.

It's a very complicated relationship
between a sperm donor dad

and the child of a lesbian who
shows up on his door 13 years later.

There's really only one book about it.

And not a lot of stores carry
Yank, Squirt, Doink, Dyke, Baby.

I know, honey.

All I'm saying is that Elliot's going
to be going away to college next year.

Soon he won't be around
for you to protect him.

And help him to make the right choices.

So, now while you go talk to him, I'm
gonna run back to the Phi Theta Mu house

and teach Lindsay that you only
have to use condoms if he's ugly.

Look at that couple. The one guy
is so much cuter than the other guy.

Mis-match.

- Look, they're pointing at us too.
- Stop looking at them.

So, you wanna, wanna go in the pool?

Oh, can I put my ring in your shoe?

I don't know what that
entails, but sure. I'm game.

My engagement ring.

Oh! I'm sorry, your engagement what?

It's for my green card.

I'm Canadian and my friend
Claire offered to marry me

so that I could stay in the country.

Oh, that is so sweet. My friend
Grace won't even flush the toilet.

All right, come on, let's get in.

You know what? I'll be in there in
a second. I got a bit of a cramp.

There you are! Thank you.

Thank you for making me go to
Grauman's Chinese Theater all by myself.

I looked like an idiot standing
in John Wayne's footprints alone.

Because your feet are bigger?

And my hands. Was he tiny,
or am I just a monster?

The reason that I blew you off,

remember that guy that I
thought was James in the lobby?

It was him. And he is amazing.

Where is he? Introduce me.

Yeah, maybe later.

What's the matter? You
think I'm gonna turn him?

Turn him? He's already gay.

No, I just... wanna have him to myself
for a while. You understand, right?

What's the big deal? You just
met him, like, two days ago.

Don't you see?

We meet in New York, and a month
later we meet in LA. It's fate.

No, fate is me signing
Kathy Griffin autographs

for ten bucks a pop and running
into her doing the same thing.

I'm serious. I think this is
the beginning of something.

Oh, Will, it sounds like
you're moving a little fast.

I know what I'm doing.
Hurry up, get out of here.

He's getting out of the pool.

All right, fine. I'll go.

- Is that him?
- Yeah.

Mis-match.

I had such a good time
last night. I tried sushi.

I climbed on this roof and chipped
my tooth on a satellite dish.

Then I did a beer bong and
cuddled with a girl named Lindsay.

We really need to talk about last night.

Oh, I'm sorry, Jack. I can't.

And I also can't go to
the beach with you later.

Some of the guys called,
and they want to hang out.

Well, just as second.
You should have called me.

I was up all night watching
Telemundo and worrying myself sick.

Hey, I'm sorry. Look, I gotta go.

No, no, no. You can't.

What?

You've behaved irresponsibly,
so... you're grounded.

That's funny. See ya later.

I'm not kidding.

I am not spending another night
watching Spanish soap operas

wondering where my son is!

Now, you are going to sit here and think
about what you are wearing tomorrow.

You're not the guy who
tells me what to do.

Yes, I am. I am your father,

and if I say you're not
going, you're not going.

My father? All you did was donate sperm.

You're not Dad. You're Jack.

- Elliot-- -
I'm going out.

Elliot!

Que lastimo mi nino...

I just realized I do know your work.

You took that photograph, that amazing
shot of Kate Moss in the dumpster

with the lettuce leaf on
her head. That was genius.

I can't take credit.
I found her like that.

Mr. Hanson? You have a
phone call at the front desk.

Get that. I'll order us drinks.

Mis-match.

Excuse me. That was Kathy
Griffin I saw you with.

Could you get me her autograph?

Sure. It's ten bucks.

Eh, it's for my niece.
I'll do it myself.

Hey. Everything okay?

Actually, no. That was Claire.

Apparently she me somebody and
now she doesn't want to marry me.

I don't get it. She's not
pretty, smart, or funny.

I really thought this
was a fool-proof plan.

So, what does this mean?

It means I have to leave the country.

Oh? When-- When
do you have to go?

My visa expires in four days.

Crap. So I did those
push-ups for nothing.

Thanks a lot, Karen.

I took your advice and
tried to be a dad to Elliot.

And we ended up having a huge fight.

He said I wasn't really his
father and he stormed off. Oh!

Oh, honey, he didn't mean it.

Mason and Olivia say the
most horrible things about me.

And sometimes to the police.

[SIGHS] No, he did mean it. Maybe
he's right. I'm not his father.

Listen. Every parent goes through this.

When I lost Mason in
Egypt for four weeks,

I'll be honest. I doubted myself.

I didn't think there was any way he would
ever again think that I was a good mother.

When he rang our doorbell that
day, covered in stickers...

All was forgiven. Jack, trust
me. You're a good father.

You can ring my bell...

Honey, what's that?

It's my cell phone.

Ding-a-ling-a-ling,
my bell...

Cool ring tune, honey.

Thanks, I miss a lot of calls

'cause I like to get all the
way to the ding-a-ling-a-lings.

You can ring my bell...

Ring my bell, my bell...

Oh! It's Elliot. Oh, it's Elliot.

Hello? Elliot? Hello?
Oh. Yeah. Just a second.

He wants to talk to you.

What can I do you for,
Smelliot? Okay. Bye.

He's stranded and needs a ride.

Oh, well, where's he
at? I'll go get him.

Honey, he wants me to go. I'm
sorry, Jackie. I feel awful.

Me, too.

You can ring my bell...
ring my bell, my bell...

Oh, my God. You've gotta
come downstairs and see this.

Tara Reid dropped her
martini in the pool

and now she's drinking the water.

Come on.

- Are you packing?
- Yes.

For real, or are you having fun?

Do I look like I'm having fun?

Kinda.

Well, that's because
I'm using my shirt board

and that always makes me a little happy.

I'm going home, Grace.

James green card marriage fell through,
and now he has to go back to Canada.

Oh, how awful for him.

Those Canadians are so smug, with
their health care and their gay rights.

It's easy to be like that
when you're not a real country.

Did you hear what I said?
James and I are over.

God. The one time that I
don't over-think something.

The one time that I take a
chance, and this is what happens.

Will, I'm sorry, but
it was gonna end anyway.

I mean, that... that's
what happens with flings.

This was not a fling.

Will, I am sure that James
is a really great guy.

But you've only known him a couple
of days. And you're on vacation.

Maybe you just got caught up a little.

Grace, you know me.
I don't get caught up.

I'm like the one gay man I
know that never got highlights.

I mean, I cover the
grey. I'm not a caveman.

You know, I mean, maybe we
could have had something.

You know, and now... now we'll
never have a chance to find out.

Does he feel the same way?

Yes. I think. I mean, how could he not.

See, you don't even know.

Why don't you just slow down,
enjoy the next two days...

and then see where you are.

I can't. I don't want to go any
further down a dead end road.

Ugh. There you are!

I got lost and had to stop
at a bar for directions.

I couldn't understand
one thing anybody said.

The gay accent is so thick here.

Well, what are you doing here?
I thought Karen was coming.

Well, you got me whether
you want me or not, Elliot.

So, come on.

No, I-- I
do want you.

I only called Karen because I didn't think
you'd come after all the things I said.

Elliot, if you need me,
I'll always come and get you.

It doesn't matter what
awful things you say to me,

or how long you insist on keeping
that Keira Knightly haircut.

You're my son.

Now, tell me exactly
what happened tonight.

These guys, they wanted
me to go to the ATM

to get money so we can
get beer, and uh....

After I gave it to them,
they just drove off,

laughing and flipping me off.

I'm starting to think I got ditched.

I once got ditched, too.

I was in high school and
it involved an actual ditch.

I'd still be there if that police
dog hadn't picked up my scent.

All part of growing up. Let's go.

Wait. Jack. I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have said
you weren't my dad.

Anyway. Isn't it weird that
all of this happened right

when you were about to go to college,

and you don't even need a dad anymore.

Well, maybe I still kinda do.

Yeah, we can't hug here.

We're on the corner of
Murder and Homophobia.

So, we'll be checking out early.

Oh, and just so you know, I had a
break-in. They cleared out the mini-bar.

They didn't take the fruit... or that
other half of that weird granola thing.

That's strange.

Oh, and, um, also another
thing you should also know,

is that, um, there was no
coffee machine when I checked in.

Do you mind if I sit?

No, go ahead.

Wow, you really are handsome.

I'm sorry, I should
tell you that I'm gay.

Oh, yeah. I got that.

You're reading Gourmet Magazine
and ripping out recipes.

Um,
look--

I don't mean to sound rude,

but I don't really feel
like talking right now.

Oh, I see.

I mean, what am I gonna say, you know?

I can't be all broken-hearted
over a guy I've known for two days.

Even if he is great. I
mean, I have to-- I'm sorry.

I'm taking up all your time, and
clearly you've got money to make, so...

Wait. You think I'm a
hooker? I'll take that.

It's just that it sucks, you know.

I thought that this
could really be something.

And now I'm not gonna
get a chance to find out.

Well, what if was only
meant to be a fun weekend.

How much do you even know about him?

Well, uh... I know his
favorite color is antique paper.

And that he calls his
shirt board Flatimir.

He knows all the lyrics
to "Walking on Sunshine,"

which is a bummer,
but I can get over it.

That's how much I like him.

I mean, I haven't met a
guy like that in so long...

who seemed honest and real and kind...

He is. And he feels
the same way about you.

I'm Grace, by the way.

Oh. Will told me you were funny.

Oh, that's sweet.

That's why I didn't think it was you.

Well, if it makes you feel any
better, Will's pretty miserable, too.

He's upstairs packing.

For real or for fun?

For real.

What are you doing?

Checking out. I was gonna come say
goodbye after I finished making the bed.

You make your hotel bed, too? So do I.

It just got harder to leave you.

You guys, I have something to say.

This is not a good time, Grace.

Yeah, but,
what if--

Please, I'm trying to say goodbye here.

I don't wanna say goodbye.

Well, I don't wanna say it either,

but I don't see what
else there is to do.

I do.
What if I--

Wh-Wh-- What if
you what, Grace?

What are you gonna do
that will magically solve

this miserable and hopeless situation?

What if I marry James?

Yeah, that will solve
it. You're not serious.

No, no, Grace, that's crazy.

Why? I mean, you guys
clearly have something here.

You deserve to see where
this relationship could go.

Are you sure?

It's only two years.

What have I done in the last two
years? I can't think of one thing.

That's true. She didn't
even read The DaVinci Code.

So, what do you say, James?

Will you marry me?

Yes, yes, I will.

- May I kiss the bride?
- Yes.

Mis-match!