Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:04,984
There it is!
We're officially in Connecticut
2
00:00:04,984 --> 00:00:08,737
Where the whites keep down
the other whites
3
00:00:10,069 --> 00:00:13,658
I'm starting to dread Christmas
at the Trumans
4
00:00:13,658 --> 00:00:16,200
Every time someone says "Merry Christmas"
your mother looks at me
5
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:20,176
with pity and says
"And Hanukkah"
6
00:00:21,262 --> 00:00:22,722
But honey, won't it be fun for you?
7
00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:26,048
Maybe you can bang Will's brother again
8
00:00:27,140 --> 00:00:29,245
Maybe? Sam's divorce just became final
9
00:00:29,245 --> 00:00:32,815
There's no way this one
is gonna keep it in her pants
10
00:00:33,935 --> 00:00:37,797
What is this "it"
you speak of in her pants?
11
00:00:37,797 --> 00:00:40,119
No, no, no. I don't wanna know
It's like that show "Lost"
12
00:00:40,119 --> 00:00:43,714
Once you find out what's
in the hatch it's less interesting
13
00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:46,772
You don't have to worry about me
hooking up with Sam
14
00:00:46,772 --> 00:00:49,040
All that stuff between us is ancient history
15
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:51,007
Well, ain't that nice?
16
00:00:51,007 --> 00:00:54,873
The holiday whore is taking a year off
17
00:00:59,286 --> 00:01:01,472
Hey, Kare, why aren't you with Stan anyway?
18
00:01:01,472 --> 00:01:04,737
Oh. He's taking Mason and Olivia to Thailand
19
00:01:04,737 --> 00:01:08,234
He loves going there
because of the white sand beaches
20
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:11,369
And they think he's the Buddha
21
00:01:11,463 --> 00:01:14,421
Oh, I can't wait to meet your gay nephew
22
00:01:14,421 --> 00:01:16,540
You always think everyone is gay
23
00:01:16,540 --> 00:01:18,355
Jordie's only nine
24
00:01:18,355 --> 00:01:21,923
It's no big deal that he went
as Wonder Woman on Halloween
25
00:01:21,923 --> 00:01:27,144
He didn't go as Wonder Woman, Grace
He went as Lynda Carter
26
00:01:30,032 --> 00:01:32,713
I once went as Lynda Carter
27
00:01:33,235 --> 00:01:36,214
But from the Maybelline commercial
28
00:01:37,588 --> 00:01:40,139
That stuff really works
29
00:01:40,191 --> 00:01:42,855
Kids made fun of me all night
I cried and cried
30
00:01:42,855 --> 00:01:45,517
My mascara never ran
31
00:01:45,517 --> 00:01:45,717
��
32
00:01:45,717 --> 00:01:45,917
�� &
33
00:01:45,917 --> 00:01:46,117
�� & ��
34
00:01:46,117 --> 00:01:46,317
�� & ��
35
00:01:46,317 --> 00:01:46,517
�� & ����
36
00:01:46,517 --> 00:01:46,717
�� & ���̽�
37
00:01:46,717 --> 00:01:46,917
�� & ���̽�
38
00:01:46,917 --> 00:01:47,117
�� & ���̽�
39
00:01:47,117 --> 00:01:47,317
�� & ���̽�
40
00:01:47,317 --> 00:01:47,517
�� & ���̽�
41
00:01:47,517 --> 00:01:47,717
�� & ���̽�
42
00:01:47,717 --> 00:01:47,917
�� & ���̽�
43
00:01:48,117 --> 00:01:48,917
8x09
A Little Christmas Queer
44
00:01:48,917 --> 00:01:50,157
��ũ ����
�̷̹�(hamsuter@nate.com)
45
00:01:50,157 --> 00:01:51,353
�ѱ� ����
�躴��(myiuno@nate.com)
46
00:01:51,353 --> 00:01:52,499
��ũ ����
������(mlitm@nate.com)
47
00:01:52,499 --> 00:01:53,736
���� ��Ʈ
�峪��(shin070@nate.com)
48
00:01:57,378 --> 00:02:00,459
- Mom! We're here!
- Oh
49
00:02:00,459 --> 00:02:02,658
Merry Christmas!
50
00:02:02,658 --> 00:02:04,943
And Hanukkah
51
00:02:05,314 --> 00:02:08,495
Oh. Now, Grace
Don't feel awkward
52
00:02:08,495 --> 00:02:12,317
You're always welcome here
even at Christmas
53
00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:14,319
Marilyn, I don't feel awkward
54
00:02:14,319 --> 00:02:18,685
Just like I'd hope you wouldn't
if you came to my home on Hanukkah
55
00:02:18,685 --> 00:02:20,143
Thank you, dear
56
00:02:20,143 --> 00:02:22,561
We'll cross that bridge when we get to it
57
00:02:22,561 --> 00:02:24,204
Now. Who needs a drink?
58
00:02:24,204 --> 00:02:26,856
I didn't come here for the company
59
00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:30,321
Oh, hey, Will, your brother just got here
60
00:02:30,321 --> 00:02:34,202
Oh, look what he's got with him
A little Christmas queer
61
00:02:38,278 --> 00:02:42,097
Just cool it with the queer stuff
in front of my mom
62
00:02:42,097 --> 00:02:44,690
I don't think she can handle
another gay kid in the family
63
00:02:44,690 --> 00:02:47,533
I remember one Christmas she was
so excited when I asked for two G.I. Joes
64
00:02:47,533 --> 00:02:50,393
because she thought
I was building an Army
65
00:02:51,696 --> 00:02:55,547
She freaked when she realized
I was really building a home
66
00:02:58,674 --> 00:03:01,680
Guys. Really
We don't even know if he's gay
67
00:03:02,332 --> 00:03:05,009
- Hi, Uncle Will!
- Hey!
68
00:03:05,071 --> 00:03:07,273
Guess what!
I invented a new cologne
69
00:03:07,273 --> 00:03:11,016
- It's called Scoundrel
- And we know
70
00:03:13,291 --> 00:03:16,857
Uh, Scoundrel is Joan Collins' fragrance
71
00:03:16,857 --> 00:03:20,573
Darn it! That woman is
always a step ahead of me
72
00:03:20,998 --> 00:03:25,277
Oh, Jordie, I am so glad you're here
Now you can help me fold napkins
73
00:03:25,277 --> 00:03:26,450
Sure
74
00:03:26,450 --> 00:03:27,781
I
75
00:03:27,781 --> 00:03:29,384
Love him
76
00:03:31,607 --> 00:03:32,513
Hey!
77
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:35,089
- Hi, Sammy
- Hey, Will
78
00:03:35,089 --> 00:03:38,846
And it's my favorite niece, Casey!
79
00:03:38,846 --> 00:03:42,548
She's adopted
But I like her as if she were real
80
00:03:44,229 --> 00:03:45,754
Hey, look who's here
81
00:03:45,754 --> 00:03:48,382
- Hi, Grandma
- Oh, sweetheart
82
00:03:48,888 --> 00:03:51,563
You know, I think she
should call me Marilyn
83
00:03:51,563 --> 00:03:54,834
Her real grandmothers in China
might get upset
84
00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:56,718
Uh, mom, you are her real grandmother
85
00:03:56,718 --> 00:03:58,028
And, uh, thank you for hugging her
86
00:03:58,028 --> 00:04:00,848
instead of bowing to her
like you did on Thanksgiving
87
00:04:02,519 --> 00:04:04,064
Hey, how 'bout we get you
some apple juice?
88
00:04:04,064 --> 00:04:06,738
And you can drink it
from a Wedgwood champagne flute
89
00:04:06,738 --> 00:04:08,771
Grandma loves that
90
00:04:11,712 --> 00:04:13,803
- Hi, Sam
- Hey, Grace
91
00:04:13,803 --> 00:04:15,809
- It's great to see you
- Yeah, me too
92
00:04:15,809 --> 00:04:16,788
Whoops--
93
00:04:18,990 --> 00:04:20,301
- Hi
- Hi
94
00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:22,465
So, how was the ride up?
95
00:04:22,465 --> 00:04:26,041
Long. Jordie made me sing
along to the Rent soundtrack
96
00:04:26,041 --> 00:04:31,634
So... it felt like 525,600 miles
97
00:04:33,623 --> 00:04:35,954
Oh, Jordie's sweet
You know, he's just amazing--
98
00:04:35,954 --> 00:04:38,648
Yeah, he is. You, know, I--
Excuse me, I have to go get a ladder
99
00:04:38,648 --> 00:04:43,096
There's a couple of bulbs out in front
and now it just says "Happy Ho-days"
100
00:04:44,079 --> 00:04:46,615
Well, 'tis the season
What with all the eggnog and the--
101
00:04:46,615 --> 00:04:48,503
Uh-huh. Excuse me
102
00:04:48,702 --> 00:04:52,046
Yeah, I guess you're
going in there to laugh...
103
00:04:54,176 --> 00:04:57,521
Don't you think the tree is T-Acky?
104
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:04,484
- She should have gone monochromatic
- E-X-Actly
105
00:05:05,453 --> 00:05:08,967
Yeah, you wanna pick
your spots with that
106
00:05:09,802 --> 00:05:12,673
Jack, I wanna put on a
Christmas show tonight
107
00:05:12,673 --> 00:05:14,309
Will you help me?
108
00:05:14,598 --> 00:05:16,608
I'd be D-Elighted!
109
00:05:18,924 --> 00:05:21,435
See. Now that's how that works
110
00:05:23,129 --> 00:05:25,090
Hey, Karen, would you keep
an eye on Casey for a minute?
111
00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:27,116
I want to run upstairs and
get her my G.I. Joes
112
00:05:27,116 --> 00:05:30,073
their gardening tools
and their bed and breakfast
113
00:05:30,073 --> 00:05:32,204
Of course I will
114
00:05:32,204 --> 00:05:35,755
She's so cute
I could just eat her up
115
00:05:35,755 --> 00:05:36,717
Yeah
116
00:05:37,812 --> 00:05:40,111
You won't, though, right?
117
00:05:42,439 --> 00:05:44,196
Hello, little girl
118
00:05:45,283 --> 00:05:47,012
Oh, what's that?
119
00:05:47,012 --> 00:05:49,094
It's a diamond ring
120
00:05:49,326 --> 00:05:51,872
Hmm... Not a very good one
121
00:05:54,318 --> 00:05:56,062
It's occluded...
122
00:05:56,062 --> 00:05:59,149
the cut is pedestrian... and...
123
00:06:00,962 --> 00:06:03,154
It's watermelon
124
00:06:04,619 --> 00:06:05,754
Here...
125
00:06:05,754 --> 00:06:08,947
See what a real diamond looks like
126
00:06:08,947 --> 00:06:11,418
Mm-hmm. It's from my husband
127
00:06:11,810 --> 00:06:15,888
And believe me, you're getting it
a lot easier than I did
128
00:06:19,125 --> 00:06:21,793
Hey, Jordie, I was just on the phone
with your Grandpa George
129
00:06:21,793 --> 00:06:23,948
He wishes he was here, but
he's with his girlfr--
130
00:06:23,948 --> 00:06:26,110
He's helping Santa
131
00:06:26,445 --> 00:06:28,928
Hey, Will, help us with
Jordie's Christmas Show
132
00:06:28,928 --> 00:06:30,125
A Christmas show?
133
00:06:30,125 --> 00:06:32,874
No, no, no. No, Jordie
that's a bad idea
134
00:06:32,874 --> 00:06:35,755
Grandma doesn't really like
Christmas shows
135
00:06:35,755 --> 00:06:37,659
Really?
But I've been planning it for months
136
00:06:37,659 --> 00:06:39,303
I know, and I'm-- I'm sorry
137
00:06:39,303 --> 00:06:40,517
But it makes her uncomfortable
138
00:06:40,517 --> 00:06:43,697
She'd rather see little boys
playing in the show than...
139
00:06:43,697 --> 00:06:45,966
than singing in the rain
140
00:06:48,021 --> 00:06:50,856
Jordie. Take five
Have a smoke and a carrot stick
141
00:06:50,856 --> 00:06:53,031
Your aunts need to talk shop
142
00:06:55,659 --> 00:06:57,164
What's going on here?
143
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,259
I don't remember driving into
the town from Footloose
144
00:06:59,259 --> 00:07:01,213
Let the boy dance!
145
00:07:03,033 --> 00:07:04,904
I know my mother
146
00:07:04,904 --> 00:07:07,717
You have no idea how many
of my little plays she ruined
147
00:07:07,717 --> 00:07:10,394
Talking and fidgeting
And doing anything to distract
148
00:07:10,394 --> 00:07:14,688
the family from watching her gay son
do fan kicks in the beanbag chair
149
00:07:16,405 --> 00:07:17,790
You poor thing
150
00:07:18,914 --> 00:07:19,698
Ow!
151
00:07:20,421 --> 00:07:22,136
Let the boy dance!
152
00:07:22,136 --> 00:07:25,398
I just don't want to see
Jordie humiliated like I was
153
00:07:25,398 --> 00:07:27,753
I used to be so upset, I'd spend
the rest of the night scarfing down
154
00:07:27,753 --> 00:07:30,455
butter cookies and pretending
the crinkling of the wrappers was...
155
00:07:30,455 --> 00:07:32,434
was applause
156
00:07:34,493 --> 00:07:36,822
I'm sorry. I had no idea
157
00:07:37,962 --> 00:07:39,901
- Ow!
- Let the boy dance!
158
00:07:40,581 --> 00:07:41,727
Karen
159
00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:45,109
Try my famous holiday cocktail
the Blue Marilyn
160
00:07:45,109 --> 00:07:48,525
I started drinking them
to prevent thoughts of suicide
161
00:07:48,525 --> 00:07:50,719
But now, they're just fun
162
00:07:54,604 --> 00:07:57,290
Oh. Delicious!
What's in it?
163
00:07:57,290 --> 00:08:01,115
Uh-uh-uh, family secret
I can't tell you
164
00:08:01,115 --> 00:08:04,370
I bet I can guess
165
00:08:04,813 --> 00:08:10,147
Blue Curacao, vodka, a splash of
Peach Schnapps, some bitters
166
00:08:10,147 --> 00:08:12,594
and a pinch of something powdered...
167
00:08:12,594 --> 00:08:14,709
Oh... sugar
168
00:08:15,403 --> 00:08:17,506
Oh, perfect!
You guessed them all
169
00:08:17,506 --> 00:08:21,321
- Ah-ha! I knew it!
- Except one
170
00:08:22,447 --> 00:08:24,045
Has anyone seen Sam?
171
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:26,261
Did you check down your pants?
172
00:08:29,115 --> 00:08:32,720
Oh, I sent him up to the attic
to find the menorah for you, Grace
173
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:36,356
We still have one from when
our Jewish neighbors came over
174
00:08:36,356 --> 00:08:38,820
Yeah
Oh, it's a shame they had to move
175
00:08:38,820 --> 00:08:39,872
Oh, well
176
00:08:39,872 --> 00:08:43,423
The neighborhood association
is very strong
177
00:08:45,934 --> 00:08:47,512
So what's going on?
178
00:08:47,512 --> 00:08:49,913
Things with you and Sam
heating up again?
179
00:08:49,913 --> 00:08:52,217
Is that a tear-away tux?
180
00:08:53,338 --> 00:08:54,653
Hardly
181
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,101
I tried to talk to him and he cut me off
182
00:08:57,101 --> 00:09:00,568
Every time I walk into a room
he finds a reason to leave
183
00:09:00,568 --> 00:09:02,969
God, I hate when people are rude
184
00:09:15,089 --> 00:09:16,443
Will, come here
I wanna show you something
185
00:09:16,443 --> 00:09:20,541
Yeah, I saw it
You put the wise men in a threeway...
186
00:09:21,130 --> 00:09:23,081
Put it back
before my mom looks outside
187
00:09:23,081 --> 00:09:25,578
No. That
188
00:09:26,106 --> 00:09:27,546
Oh, my God
189
00:09:27,546 --> 00:09:30,611
He's stuffing himself with butter cookies
190
00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:33,480
Well, it's your work
Why don't you go sign it
191
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,938
I'm looking at myself thirty years ago
192
00:09:37,938 --> 00:09:41,031
Only without
the Mork and Mindy suspenders
193
00:09:43,023 --> 00:09:44,292
Jordie...
194
00:09:44,814 --> 00:09:46,631
Hi, Uncle Will
195
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:50,345
Spit out those empty calories
and put on your tap shoes
196
00:09:50,345 --> 00:09:53,011
I don't care what Grandma says
we're putting on a show!
197
00:09:53,011 --> 00:09:54,733
- Really?
- Yes, really!
198
00:09:54,733 --> 00:09:55,913
Now, go run around the yard!
199
00:09:55,913 --> 00:09:58,914
I want you five pounds lighter
for the opening number!
200
00:10:01,621 --> 00:10:06,650
Wow. This is the most
organized attic I've ever been in
201
00:10:07,370 --> 00:10:09,627
"Gifts from the Housekeeper."
202
00:10:09,627 --> 00:10:11,380
"Gifts from the Gardener."
203
00:10:11,380 --> 00:10:14,734
How sad. "Gifts from Grace"?!
204
00:10:15,166 --> 00:10:17,286
Yeah, my mother was never
good at accepting gifts
205
00:10:17,286 --> 00:10:19,447
When I was in the fourth grade
I made her an ashtray
206
00:10:19,447 --> 00:10:22,210
She said, "Great
Now I've got to get you something."
207
00:10:23,779 --> 00:10:26,673
Well, uh, the menorah isn't
where she said it was
208
00:10:26,673 --> 00:10:28,359
So, I guess I'll be going downstairs
209
00:10:28,359 --> 00:10:30,569
Sam, no. Come on
210
00:10:30,823 --> 00:10:32,289
You've been dodging me all night
What's going on?
211
00:10:32,289 --> 00:10:35,867
Nothing
I just... I just don't want to talk to you
212
00:10:35,867 --> 00:10:38,688
Oh, well, that--
that makes me feel better
213
00:10:38,688 --> 00:10:42,123
I'm sorry, you're right
That didn't come out right
214
00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:46,998
Grace, it's just that, um, I'm afraid
215
00:10:46,998 --> 00:10:51,551
if I'm alone with you
something might happen
216
00:10:54,442 --> 00:10:56,706
I'm less offended
217
00:10:58,204 --> 00:11:00,029
Keep going
218
00:11:00,029 --> 00:11:01,977
Not that I'm assuming
you'd even wanted to
219
00:11:01,977 --> 00:11:04,742
Oh, I don't
I mean, even on the ride here
220
00:11:04,742 --> 00:11:09,238
I, uh, I... announced that, you know
I didn't want anything to happen with you
221
00:11:09,238 --> 00:11:10,869
Oh. Super
222
00:11:10,869 --> 00:11:15,204
I'm glad that my lack of desirability
deserves an announcement
223
00:11:15,659 --> 00:11:18,167
No, that's not--
that's not what I mean
224
00:11:18,612 --> 00:11:23,956
I agree with you that, you know
nothing should
>I was-- I was worried
that you didn't like me
225
00:11:23,956 --> 00:11:27,244
Oh, God, no
Grace, I, uh...
226
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,220
I do
I do like you
227
00:11:29,220 --> 00:11:32,691
Well, good
'Cause I like you, too
228
00:11:32,691 --> 00:11:34,310
That's good
229
00:11:35,051 --> 00:11:36,840
So, we're agreed
230
00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:39,025
We like each other...
231
00:11:39,277 --> 00:11:41,158
and nothing's gonna happen
232
00:11:41,794 --> 00:11:43,362
Agreed
233
00:11:44,356 --> 00:11:46,231
- You look hot
- Agreed
234
00:11:51,505 --> 00:11:55,365
Oh. God, that's the only time
a menorah got me to first base
235
00:11:56,056 --> 00:11:57,476
Not me
236
00:12:05,515 --> 00:12:07,455
All right...
there's not enough of us to do
237
00:12:07,455 --> 00:12:10,402
a "Partridge Family in a Pear Tree"
238
00:12:12,307 --> 00:12:13,387
How about this?
239
00:12:13,387 --> 00:12:15,991
You pop out of the fireplace
with a mask on
240
00:12:15,991 --> 00:12:18,194
You're the Phantom of the Chimney
241
00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:20,042
Ooh, I like that
242
00:12:20,042 --> 00:12:22,558
And Jordie, we can make
an opera cape out of...
243
00:12:22,558 --> 00:12:24,969
well, your opera cape
244
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:30,144
I should steam the wrinkles out of that
I wore it to bed last night
245
00:12:31,513 --> 00:12:36,317
So sad. A boy his age
should be sleeping in a kimono
246
00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:41,344
- Did you warn your mother, yet?
- No, no. No
247
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,274
It's better if we spring it on her
248
00:12:42,274 --> 00:12:44,746
The more time she has to think about it
the more time she has to ruin it
249
00:12:44,746 --> 00:12:46,980
Just like she ruined
my 1975 Easter show
250
00:12:46,980 --> 00:12:49,243
Everything's Coming Up Jesus
251
00:12:50,611 --> 00:12:54,794
Is the secret ingredient
anything in the blood family?
252
00:00:00,050 --> 00:12:58,448
I don't know how
I can make this any clearer
253
00:12:57,448 --> 00:13:00,980
There are no bodily fluids
in a Blue Marilyn
254
00:13:01,688 --> 00:13:04,834
Now, please, just give up
'cause you're never gonna get it
255
00:13:04,834 --> 00:13:09,184
Oh, I will. I will discover
your secret ingredient!
256
00:13:09,184 --> 00:13:13,536
Even if it is the rarest, most exotic
essence found on the planet
257
00:13:14,909 --> 00:13:16,781
Is it milk?
258
00:13:18,511 --> 00:13:19,726
No
259
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:23,489
Oh, Sam, did you find
that menorah for Grace?
260
00:13:23,489 --> 00:13:25,313
Uh, no, we couldn't find it
261
00:13:25,313 --> 00:13:27,559
but we looked for a very long time
262
00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:29,925
Oh
Well, did you check in the drawers?
263
00:13:29,925 --> 00:13:32,183
Uh, we didn't have time
Maybe later
264
00:13:33,057 --> 00:13:36,560
- Did you look in that little chest?
- Do not answer that
265
00:13:39,258 --> 00:13:42,552
Well, let's look again
because I know it's up there
266
00:13:42,552 --> 00:13:46,818
Oh! I used it last August to hold
the bug repellent candles
267
00:13:46,818 --> 00:13:48,721
Yeah, yeah
I remember
268
00:13:48,721 --> 00:13:50,945
'cause it stopped the Jewish
mosquitoes from biting
269
00:13:50,945 --> 00:13:53,150
Instead, they just had a little nosh
270
00:13:55,655 --> 00:13:59,517
Well... The tousled hair...
the slightly smeared lipstick...
271
00:13:59,517 --> 00:14:01,368
the disheveled clothing...
272
00:14:01,368 --> 00:14:06,043
Either you're on your way to work
or the holiday whore is back!
273
00:14:09,610 --> 00:14:12,487
Sam and I made out in the attic
It was so hot!
274
00:14:12,844 --> 00:14:14,865
I know I said
I wasn't going to do it, but...
275
00:14:14,865 --> 00:14:16,771
I've liked him for a long time
276
00:14:16,771 --> 00:14:19,173
And he's single now...
277
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,360
Or is it just too wierd?
278
00:14:23,179 --> 00:14:30,257
For your entire life, fate has been
cruel to you in almost every way
279
00:14:31,682 --> 00:14:35,544
So...
Maybe this time fate stepped back
280
00:14:35,544 --> 00:14:39,033
took a good look at you and said
"You know what? Enough already"
281
00:14:39,909 --> 00:14:41,755
I say go for it
282
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:43,710
You know what?
I will
283
00:14:43,710 --> 00:14:49,237
For all the good I do, I deserve
something good to happen to me
284
00:14:50,624 --> 00:14:53,377
What is wrong with these things?
285
00:14:57,689 --> 00:15:00,750
I don't know
where you get your jewelry
286
00:15:03,062 --> 00:15:06,549
but this necklace is delicious
287
00:15:07,572 --> 00:15:09,210
Don't start without me
288
00:15:09,772 --> 00:15:11,900
Mom
What are you doing?
289
00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:14,033
Getting ready to enjoy the show
290
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,197
What's your game, woman?
291
00:15:17,774 --> 00:15:21,890
And now, ladies and gentlemen
introducing Jordan St. James!
292
00:15:23,113 --> 00:15:27,272
That's a stage name
I had to nix Dame Jordy Dench
293
00:15:28,258 --> 00:15:31,435
Santa Claus, Mr. Santa Claus
294
00:15:31,435 --> 00:15:35,085
I get the kids' applause
Mr. Santa Claus...
295
00:15:35,085 --> 00:15:38,111
That boy is the next Wayne Newton
296
00:15:38,902 --> 00:15:40,945
How many Blue Marilyns
have you had?
297
00:15:40,945 --> 00:15:42,732
- Will, shush!
- You shush!
298
00:15:42,732 --> 00:15:44,327
Will, you shush!
299
00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:46,784
Will you shush!
300
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:51,237
This is Jordie's moment
And keyboard solo
301
00:15:51,237 --> 00:15:53,565
Jordie, you're in the
audience for this, sweetheart
302
00:16:00,122 --> 00:16:08,708
All... that... Claus!
303
00:16:08,978 --> 00:16:10,171
That Claus
304
00:16:13,623 --> 00:16:15,542
Bravo!
Bravo!
305
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:17,314
Okay, that is it!
306
00:16:17,565 --> 00:16:22,105
How dare you enjoy your grandson's
Christmas show right in front of me?!
307
00:16:22,105 --> 00:16:24,110
Well, William, what is your problem?
308
00:16:24,110 --> 00:16:26,427
Oh, I don't know, maybe
it's that you ruined
309
00:16:26,427 --> 00:16:28,500
every single Christmas play I ever did!
310
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:31,803
I mean, you give him a standing ovation
but for me, you'd be fidgeting
311
00:16:31,803 --> 00:16:36,781
looking at your watch, melting a cherry
Sucrets into your stupid "secret" drink
312
00:16:36,781 --> 00:16:38,383
Ah!
A-ha!
313
00:16:46,525 --> 00:16:48,241
Unbelievable!
314
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:50,242
Will just had to steal the spotlight
315
00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:52,093
It's okay, Jack
I don't mind
316
00:16:52,093 --> 00:16:55,134
He stole it from me, Jordie
Grow up
317
00:16:57,629 --> 00:16:59,098
Oh, Will...
318
00:16:59,337 --> 00:17:00,501
I don't get it
319
00:17:00,897 --> 00:17:05,863
How can you be so encouraging to Jordie
when you were always so awful to me
320
00:17:05,863 --> 00:17:07,624
Darling, I think...
321
00:17:07,931 --> 00:17:12,658
When you were a child, I think I...
I just handled everything badly
322
00:17:12,658 --> 00:17:16,473
You know, I wasn't prepared
to raise a gay son
323
00:17:16,676 --> 00:17:19,861
- You know, it was the 50's--
- It was not the 50's!
324
00:17:25,572 --> 00:17:27,911
Darling, because of who you are
325
00:17:27,911 --> 00:17:31,765
and what you've become
I realized that I...
326
00:17:32,404 --> 00:17:34,980
I just should have done things differently
327
00:17:35,654 --> 00:17:37,615
I learned from you, Will
328
00:17:38,095 --> 00:17:39,670
- Really?
- Yeah
329
00:17:39,670 --> 00:17:41,645
And even though
I can't change the past
330
00:17:41,645 --> 00:17:45,482
I can try to be better
with Jordie, you know?
331
00:17:46,429 --> 00:17:49,525
Wow
Thank you, mom
332
00:17:49,775 --> 00:17:51,631
That means a lot to me
333
00:17:54,565 --> 00:17:58,645
- Wow. When did you do all this?
- Ah, before the show
334
00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:01,839
During the encores, I was worried
the house was going to burn down
335
00:18:02,311 --> 00:18:04,407
I can see why
336
00:18:04,662 --> 00:18:08,743
Five of the candles are
on a box marked "Dry Hay"
337
00:18:11,529 --> 00:18:17,125
- Sam, this is so--
- Romantic? Wonderful? Excessive?
338
00:18:17,453 --> 00:18:20,905
It's, uh, it's excessive, isn't it?
339
00:18:20,905 --> 00:18:22,110
It's a lot
340
00:18:22,110 --> 00:18:23,767
Oh, God, I'm sorry
341
00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:26,397
I'm just so worried about that...
342
00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:29,194
God, I just can't remember
what it's like to be
343
00:18:29,194 --> 00:18:31,354
in the beginning of
a relationship, you know?
344
00:18:31,354 --> 00:18:35,171
Just thought it'd be a lot easier
jumping right into the middle of one
345
00:18:35,390 --> 00:18:37,122
I know it does
346
00:18:39,234 --> 00:18:43,082
Right after Leo and I split up...
347
00:18:48,989 --> 00:18:59,274
Um... After Leo and I, every guy who opened
the door for me got my house key
348
00:18:59,563 --> 00:19:02,401
I spent a lot of money
changing locks that year
349
00:19:03,328 --> 00:19:08,577
And it was because I was
so afraid of being single
350
00:19:08,577 --> 00:19:10,644
And I think you might be too
351
00:19:10,644 --> 00:19:13,134
Well, I'm not afraid
352
00:19:13,134 --> 00:19:15,758
I'm, uh... I'm terrified
353
00:19:16,795 --> 00:19:18,635
And I think you need to be
354
00:19:18,963 --> 00:19:21,292
- Terrified or single?
- Both
355
00:19:21,292 --> 00:19:23,030
Ah. Fun
356
00:19:26,093 --> 00:19:29,248
You'll make it
I did
357
00:19:32,042 --> 00:19:35,230
Okay
So how about this?
358
00:19:35,827 --> 00:19:40,022
Next Christmas
you and me, right here...
359
00:19:40,576 --> 00:19:43,380
And we see where we are then
360
00:19:44,205 --> 00:19:45,785
That sounds great
361
00:19:47,309 --> 00:19:50,538
- Is it incredibly hot in here?
- Like a thousand degrees
362
00:19:54,062 --> 00:19:55,897
Hey, Jordie
I just got off the phone
363
00:19:55,897 --> 00:20:00,758
How would you like to perform our show
next Christmas at Radio City Music Hall?
364
00:20:00,758 --> 00:20:02,576
I'd love it!
It would be fantastic!
365
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,955
Good. Then you try calling
They keep hanging up on me
366
00:20:07,130 --> 00:20:09,061
Marilyn
Thank you
367
00:20:09,061 --> 00:20:11,675
Dinner was wonderful
I have a delightful buzz
368
00:20:11,675 --> 00:20:13,800
and my sore throat went away
369
00:20:14,599 --> 00:20:17,432
By the way
I put something in your coffee
370
00:20:17,432 --> 00:20:20,233
Tell me when you figure out what it is
28239
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof