Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,133 --> 00:00:06,426
Okay, look at this picture
2
00:00:06,426 --> 00:00:08,556
If you look at it closely
I swear you can see
3
00:00:08,556 --> 00:00:11,339
Katie Holmes mouthing
"Help me."
4
00:00:13,936 --> 00:00:14,669
Please
5
00:00:14,669 --> 00:00:17,422
She made her own twin beds
6
00:00:22,300 --> 00:00:25,237
Oh, my god, you're home
I'll just come back later
7
00:00:25,237 --> 00:00:27,557
Wait a minute, wait a minute
What's with the hand truck?
8
00:00:27,557 --> 00:00:30,692
It's not what it looks like
I just came to take your sofa
9
00:00:31,234 --> 00:00:32,599
Why do you need our sofa?
10
00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:35,022
Well, I really wanted to do something
to spruce up my talk show
11
00:00:35,022 --> 00:00:37,517
'cause I have
a really exciting guest
12
00:00:37,517 --> 00:00:40,034
Even better than the guest
on my first episode
13
00:00:40,034 --> 00:00:41,785
Better than a moustache
drawn on your hand
14
00:00:41,785 --> 00:00:44,519
that you said was
Lou Diamond Phillips?
15
00:00:44,519 --> 00:00:46,732
I find that hard to believe
16
00:00:46,732 --> 00:00:49,420
Oh. Okay Well
17
00:00:49,420 --> 00:00:54,112
there's somebody who's not gonna
get to meet Harrison Ford!
18
00:00:54,112 --> 00:00:58,614
And there's someone else who's not
gonna get to meet Harrison Ford
19
00:00:58,614 --> 00:01:00,469
Anyway, Grace
20
00:01:00,469 --> 00:01:02,891
Would you like to
help me with my set?
21
00:01:02,891 --> 00:01:04,740
I asked the art department
to spruce it up
22
00:01:04,740 --> 00:01:07,939
but they're all lesbians and
I feel like it needs a woman's touch
23
00:01:08,931 --> 00:01:09,691
Sure, Jack
24
00:01:09,691 --> 00:01:12,389
But you should know better
than to stereotype lesbians
25
00:01:12,389 --> 00:01:15,615
Ooh, while I'm there
I can have of them fix my watch
26
00:01:17,372 --> 00:01:19,335
Hey, kids
Just stopped by to say hi
27
00:01:19,335 --> 00:01:21,013
You live here now
I never want to see you again
28
00:01:21,013 --> 00:01:23,013
See you later!
29
00:01:24,695 --> 00:01:26,134
Karen! What are you doing?
30
00:01:26,134 --> 00:01:29,467
She still won't forgive me
for knowing Mr. Stan was alive
31
00:01:29,467 --> 00:01:33,278
And she'll come to realize that
I only did it because I love her
32
00:01:33,278 --> 00:01:36,475
Or when she needs
a bong buddy
33
00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:41,977
Well, here it is
34
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:44,698
Everything she had
when I first brought her home
35
00:01:44,698 --> 00:01:46,233
A doll made of sticks
36
00:01:46,233 --> 00:01:47,930
a moth-eaten blanket
37
00:01:47,930 --> 00:01:52,974
and her degree in Clinical Psychology
from the University of Texas
38
00:01:53,945 --> 00:01:56,476
Karen. Rosie can't live with us
39
00:01:57,093 --> 00:02:01,497
Why? Because
she's black, Grace?
40
00:02:04,719 --> 00:02:08,102
Karen, she can
stay for a few days
41
00:02:08,102 --> 00:02:13,175
But, sooner or later
you're gonna have to deal
with what happened with Stan
42
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:16,414
What? Honey, I'm fine
I'm moving on with my life
43
00:02:16,414 --> 00:02:17,654
I'm dating Malcolm
44
00:02:17,654 --> 00:02:20,429
I've joined Curves
45
00:02:21,613 --> 00:02:24,511
Oh! And I finally got into
the Harry Potter books
46
00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:30,073
You know I say I root for Gryffindor
but secretly I love my Slytherin boys
47
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:30,400
��
48
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:30,600
�� &
49
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:30,800
�� & ��
50
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:31,000
�� & ��
51
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:31,200
�� & ����
52
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:31,400
�� & ���̽�
53
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:31,600
�� & ���̽�
54
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:31,800
�� & ���̽�
55
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:32,000
�� & ���̽�
56
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:32,200
�� & ���̽�
57
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:32,400
�� & ���̽�
58
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:32,600
�� & ���̽�
59
00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:33,600
8x02
I Second That Emotion
60
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:34,840
��ũ ����
������(zzsgirl@nate.com)
61
00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,036
�ѱ� ����
�躴��(myiuno@nate.com)
62
00:02:36,036 --> 00:02:37,182
��ũ ����
�̷̹�(hamsuter@nate.com)
63
00:02:37,182 --> 00:02:38,419
���� ��Ʈ
������(soheejin@nate.com)
64
00:02:47,172 --> 00:02:49,705
That was heartbreaking, Hurumi
65
00:02:49,705 --> 00:02:52,414
You are an extraordinary talent
66
00:02:52,414 --> 00:02:54,255
Arigato!
67
00:02:54,255 --> 00:02:55,538
Oh, and by the way
68
00:02:55,538 --> 00:02:59,051
somebody threw up on the radiator
next to the toilet again
69
00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:00,752
It's pretty baked on
70
00:03:00,752 --> 00:03:03,838
but you can probably scrape
most of it off with your bow
71
00:03:09,075 --> 00:03:11,034
Hey, Karen, I hope you
don't mind I let myself in
72
00:03:11,034 --> 00:03:13,292
Although, considering this is
a 17 bedroom mansion
73
00:03:13,292 --> 00:03:15,636
should you really leave
the front door unlocked?
74
00:03:15,636 --> 00:03:18,619
Nah. What is there
to take in here
75
00:03:18,619 --> 00:03:20,094
Well, it's not so much
as what might get stolen
76
00:03:20,094 --> 00:03:23,706
as how many of your staff
might try to escape
77
00:03:28,907 --> 00:03:33,538
Look... I'm worried
that you're not dealing
78
00:03:33,538 --> 00:03:35,535
with this whole
Stan being alive thing
79
00:03:35,535 --> 00:03:38,406
I think you're in denial
about your feelings
80
00:03:38,406 --> 00:03:40,173
Wait a minute
81
00:03:40,173 --> 00:03:43,334
You're using
psychiatry on me
82
00:03:43,703 --> 00:03:47,417
I've read all the studies on psychiatry
Have you?
83
00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:56,335
It's a pseudo-science
and it doesn't exist
84
00:03:57,014 --> 00:04:01,974
And neither do postpartum
depression or Brooke Shields
85
00:04:03,614 --> 00:04:05,654
karen
86
00:04:05,654 --> 00:04:07,951
You don't have to
put up a wall with me
87
00:04:07,951 --> 00:04:12,133
I've seen you punching
coat check girls
88
00:04:12,133 --> 00:04:14,533
swallowing buttons
you thought were pills
89
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,694
shooting at the birds
in your wallpaper
90
00:04:19,614 --> 00:04:21,253
So come on
talk to me
91
00:04:22,112 --> 00:04:23,374
- I don't know
- Come on
92
00:04:23,374 --> 00:04:26,056
Start taking that wall down
one brick at a time
93
00:04:26,056 --> 00:04:27,293
Come on
just one brick
94
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,277
- Just one?
- Yeah. Come on
95
00:04:30,277 --> 00:04:31,659
I'll be right beside you
96
00:04:31,659 --> 00:04:34,341
Take that brick down
Now, what do you see?
97
00:04:39,497 --> 00:04:41,501
Too quick
My fault
98
00:04:42,255 --> 00:04:43,679
I shouldn't have
pushed you that hard
99
00:04:43,679 --> 00:04:45,415
And please, swear to me
you'll never tell me
100
00:04:45,415 --> 00:04:47,548
what was behind that brick
101
00:04:49,944 --> 00:04:52,013
Are you crying?
102
00:04:52,612 --> 00:04:56,159
Honey, I missed
Stanley so much
103
00:04:56,159 --> 00:05:01,306
And know I find out that
he's alive and that he lied to me
104
00:05:01,306 --> 00:05:02,917
It hurts, Will
105
00:05:02,917 --> 00:05:07,384
I feel empty and confused... and
106
00:05:07,384 --> 00:05:11,312
even more alone than
I did when thought he was dead
107
00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:15,593
Karen, c'mere
C'mere
108
00:05:16,253 --> 00:05:20,474
You just let it all out
That's it
109
00:05:23,501 --> 00:05:24,989
Now, you feel better?
110
00:05:30,696 --> 00:05:33,935
You take all the time you need
111
00:05:52,773 --> 00:05:53,549
I'm sorry, Jack
112
00:05:53,549 --> 00:05:55,592
I thought I'd have
more time before the show
113
00:05:55,592 --> 00:05:58,255
No, Grace
This is great!
114
00:05:58,255 --> 00:05:59,551
Thank you
115
00:05:59,551 --> 00:06:03,360
It just needed, you know
a touch of elegance
116
00:06:03,693 --> 00:06:05,679
Oh, hello
Life Saver!
117
00:06:06,493 --> 00:06:08,251
What?
I'm not gonna eat it
118
00:06:10,972 --> 00:06:12,814
I wonder what else is in here
119
00:06:13,695 --> 00:06:15,878
Uh, Jack
we have a problem
120
00:06:15,878 --> 00:06:17,293
uh, if you got someone
pregnant, straighty
121
00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:19,457
that's your problem, not mine
122
00:06:20,032 --> 00:06:21,383
We don't have Harrison Ford
123
00:06:21,383 --> 00:06:22,543
What?!
124
00:06:22,543 --> 00:06:24,654
Why would you swear
we had him if we didn't have him?
125
00:06:24,654 --> 00:06:27,851
Because you said
if we didn't have him I'd be fired
126
00:06:27,851 --> 00:06:30,317
Okay, I probably
shouldn't have said that
127
00:06:30,317 --> 00:06:32,437
Just don't let it
happen again, okay?
128
00:06:32,437 --> 00:06:36,055
Now. Do we have
Angelina Jolie for tomorrow?
129
00:06:36,055 --> 00:06:38,371
If you say "no,"
you're fired
130
00:06:38,817 --> 00:06:40,013
She's super excited
to meet you
131
00:06:40,013 --> 00:06:41,466
Great. Okay
132
00:06:42,262 --> 00:06:43,974
Now, what am I
gonna do for a guest?
133
00:06:43,974 --> 00:06:47,934
We're on in five, four, three, two...
134
00:06:49,771 --> 00:06:52,385
Welcome to "Jack Talk"!
135
00:06:52,385 --> 00:06:55,779
Today's guest
interior designer Grace Adler!
136
00:07:03,039 --> 00:07:04,267
All right, settle down, ladies
137
00:07:04,267 --> 00:07:07,111
It's not like I brought
Judy back to life
138
00:07:08,953 --> 00:07:11,312
Thanks for being
on the show, Grace!
139
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,492
What the hell's going on?
140
00:07:14,222 --> 00:07:16,055
Isn't she hilarious?
141
00:07:16,659 --> 00:07:20,211
Hey, Kathy Griffin, you're not
the only funny red-head over 40!
142
00:07:24,083 --> 00:07:25,899
I think I'm gonna go
143
00:07:26,134 --> 00:07:30,555
Hey, here's a fun fact about Grace
She lives with a gay man
144
00:07:33,057 --> 00:07:34,659
Oh, yeah
145
00:07:34,659 --> 00:07:37,379
Um, yeah
I have for a while
146
00:07:37,379 --> 00:07:40,112
He's been my best friend for years
147
00:07:43,251 --> 00:07:44,938
Thank you!
148
00:07:45,793 --> 00:07:50,334
I'm also very involved
in the New York gay scene
149
00:07:50,334 --> 00:07:51,133
That's right
150
00:07:51,133 --> 00:07:54,668
Grace has closed more gay bars
than the Department of Health
151
00:07:58,359 --> 00:08:00,410
And, like my mother
always says
152
00:08:00,410 --> 00:08:03,352
if you love gay men so much
why don't you just marry one
153
00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:05,138
Believe me
I've tried!
154
00:08:08,777 --> 00:08:10,703
Sounds like you love
everything about gay men
155
00:08:10,703 --> 00:08:11,997
Not true
156
00:08:11,997 --> 00:08:16,342
Jack Talk audience can we speak
seriously for just a moment?
157
00:08:17,907 --> 00:08:24,351
There is one thing I don't like
I don't like gay men...
158
00:08:24,351 --> 00:08:28,784
who don't like themselves
159
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:34,299
I could listen to you talk forever
I could
160
00:08:34,299 --> 00:08:36,625
But who wants to watch me
make a protein shake?
161
00:08:44,174 --> 00:08:46,463
What did you do to me?!
162
00:08:47,380 --> 00:08:48,900
Uh, healed you?
163
00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:50,697
Do I look healed to you?!
164
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:54,102
I took a few bricks out
the whole damned building collapsed!
165
00:08:55,854 --> 00:08:57,627
I can't eat
I can't sleep
166
00:08:57,627 --> 00:09:00,215
Yesterday, I was so upset
I walked into the Mercer Hotel
167
00:09:00,215 --> 00:09:03,058
and threw a phone
at the front desk clerk
168
00:09:05,194 --> 00:09:07,178
Karen, I'm sorry
but if you want to get...
169
00:09:07,178 --> 00:09:09,614
Get away from me!
I want to be alone
170
00:09:09,614 --> 00:09:13,134
I haven't felt this emotionally
raw and exposed since....
171
00:09:13,134 --> 00:09:17,703
Penthouse published those photos
of me and Vanessa Williams
172
00:09:20,223 --> 00:09:23,850
Do you think Grace would mind
if borrowed this?
173
00:09:27,715 --> 00:09:29,374
That's mine
174
00:09:37,476 --> 00:09:38,355
Hello?
175
00:09:38,355 --> 00:09:40,063
Grace, where are you?
Why aren't you watching "Jack Talk?"
176
00:09:40,063 --> 00:09:41,491
I am!I'm getting my hair done
177
00:09:41,491 --> 00:09:45,013
but I've got channel
749 on right now
178
00:09:45,013 --> 00:09:46,782
Guys, when you hear
what I said about gays
179
00:09:46,782 --> 00:09:48,625
I think you're
gonna be pretty happy
180
00:09:48,625 --> 00:09:51,741
Maybe even free hot oil
treatment happy
181
00:09:52,213 --> 00:09:53,138
All right Grace
look, I gotta go
182
00:09:53,138 --> 00:09:55,915
I can hear myself through the phone
on your TV, on Will's TV, in my head
183
00:09:55,915 --> 00:09:57,711
It's too much of a good thing
184
00:09:58,274 --> 00:10:00,734
Oh, here comes my serious moment
Turn it up, Hector
185
00:10:01,215 --> 00:10:02,905
Can I speak seriously for just a moment?
186
00:10:02,905 --> 00:10:05,717
There is one thing I don't like
187
00:10:05,717 --> 00:10:09,785
I don't like gay men
188
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:27,183
You know, it's kinda weird
189
00:10:27,183 --> 00:10:29,194
The way that episode was edited
190
00:10:29,194 --> 00:10:33,100
it almost makes it seem
like Grace hates gay men
191
00:10:35,694 --> 00:10:37,952
Do you think she noticed?
192
00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:40,698
I'm sure it's fine
193
00:10:40,698 --> 00:10:44,778
I just hope you're okay
with having only one testicle
194
00:10:53,269 --> 00:10:55,612
Simba looks angry
195
00:11:01,576 --> 00:11:03,102
I
196
00:11:03,102 --> 00:11:04,815
hate
197
00:11:04,815 --> 00:11:06,972
gays?
198
00:11:07,629 --> 00:11:10,829
Yeah, I know, Grace
You said it on my show, remember?
199
00:11:10,829 --> 00:11:13,230
Do you have any idea
what I have been through?
200
00:11:13,230 --> 00:11:14,877
On my way over here
201
00:11:14,877 --> 00:11:18,213
I was egged
in the East Village
202
00:11:18,334 --> 00:11:21,655
Egg-whited
in the West Village
203
00:11:23,254 --> 00:11:24,748
And in Chelsea
204
00:11:24,748 --> 00:11:29,106
some vicious queen threw
a skinless chicken breast at me
205
00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:31,582
as he roller bladed by!
206
00:11:32,422 --> 00:11:34,057
I'm sorry, Grace
207
00:11:34,057 --> 00:11:36,549
The show ran crazy long
I had to cut something
208
00:11:36,549 --> 00:11:39,700
if I wanted to keep my full four minutes
of me making that shake
209
00:11:44,423 --> 00:11:48,774
Okay
see that makes sense
210
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:51,179
Now that I know the context
211
00:11:51,179 --> 00:11:53,555
Right / Yeah!
It's almost kind of funny, right?
212
00:11:53,555 --> 00:11:56,213
Kind of?
It's hilarious!
213
00:11:56,213 --> 00:11:59,673
I mean, look I paid
two hundred bucks for this!
214
00:11:59,673 --> 00:12:02,629
Stick a pencil up your ass
you're a troll doll
215
00:12:04,534 --> 00:12:05,789
So, good show, right?
216
00:12:05,789 --> 00:12:08,701
Yes! Come here
I wanna give you a hug
217
00:12:13,517 --> 00:12:17,383
I'm beginning to think
you're not taking this so well
218
00:12:17,383 --> 00:12:21,835
I am not homophobic
you mincing little squirrel
219
00:12:22,753 --> 00:12:25,458
So, here's what you're
gonna do, Alice
220
00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:29,954
You're gonna put me on your next show
so I can clear my name
221
00:12:30,224 --> 00:12:31,355
Can't...
222
00:12:31,355 --> 00:12:33,830
Have... Angelina Jolie
223
00:12:39,660 --> 00:12:43,778
Smitty, do you ever think
about giving up?
224
00:12:43,778 --> 00:12:46,814
You know, just ending it all
225
00:12:46,814 --> 00:12:48,851
Funny you should ask
226
00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:54,179
Tonight is the anniversary
of the fire that killed my identical twin
227
00:12:54,179 --> 00:12:57,179
and I've never felt more alone
228
00:13:04,056 --> 00:13:06,746
Now how is it
that you're tending bar
229
00:13:06,746 --> 00:13:09,914
and Jimmy Kimmel
has his own show?
230
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,711
It's just not right
231
00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:14,254
There you are
232
00:13:15,373 --> 00:13:17,252
Get lost, Wilma
233
00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:21,620
Thanks to you, I've got all these
awful memories flooding back
234
00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:23,931
My dog getting hit a car
235
00:13:24,731 --> 00:13:27,912
My three-legged dog getting
hit by a slower car
236
00:13:31,065 --> 00:13:33,893
My dog, on a little cart
237
00:13:33,893 --> 00:13:36,614
rolling under a school bus
238
00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:40,377
Well, as hard as
it is remembering these things
239
00:13:40,377 --> 00:13:42,254
dealing with them
is how you heal
240
00:13:42,254 --> 00:13:44,740
Was this all the same dog?
241
00:13:45,693 --> 00:13:47,892
Why wasn't he on a leash?
242
00:13:48,836 --> 00:13:50,833
"Deal with things?"
243
00:13:50,833 --> 00:13:55,115
Who are you to talk
about dealing with things?
244
00:13:55,115 --> 00:13:56,415
What do you mean?
I deal
245
00:13:56,415 --> 00:14:01,214
Oh, please! You're zipped up tighter
than Star Jones in a...
246
00:14:01,214 --> 00:14:04,296
well, really anything
with a zipper
247
00:14:08,141 --> 00:14:11,510
That's why you spend all of your time
fixing everybody else's problems
248
00:14:11,510 --> 00:14:13,152
so you don't have to
look at your own
249
00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:14,193
That's crap
250
00:14:14,193 --> 00:14:17,018
Really?
251
00:14:17,018 --> 00:14:20,037
Then why don't we take a few little
bricks out of Will's wall, huh?
252
00:14:20,037 --> 00:14:21,094
Go ahead
253
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:22,464
But you're not gonna
find anything back there
254
00:14:22,464 --> 00:14:26,416
'cause when something comes
into my life, I tend to it. Then move on
255
00:14:26,416 --> 00:14:30,213
So you don't keep the remnants
of your career back there?
256
00:14:31,022 --> 00:14:34,304
I quit my job to do
something meaningful
257
00:14:34,304 --> 00:14:36,948
And how's that going for ya?
258
00:14:39,572 --> 00:14:43,214
It takes time
to find the right thing
259
00:14:43,214 --> 00:14:45,473
Apparently, that applies
to boyfriends, too
260
00:14:45,473 --> 00:14:51,935
because the only man that you've had
a successful relationship with is Grace
261
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,891
I've had tons of
successful relationships!
262
00:14:55,891 --> 00:14:56,938
That all ended
263
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,440
Successfully!
264
00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:03,460
Well, I'm glad you've got it
all figured out, Will
265
00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:06,862
Because if I were you
I'd be worried
266
00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:08,780
Oh, yeah?
Well, don't be
267
00:15:08,780 --> 00:15:12,071
'Cause what I have
is a fresh start
268
00:15:12,071 --> 00:15:13,680
It's exciting, actually
You know?
269
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,931
I'm unemployed
I'm single. I'm 41
270
00:15:16,931 --> 00:15:18,576
The world is my....
271
00:15:18,576 --> 00:15:22,305
Oh, just put me on a little cart
and roll me under a school bus
272
00:15:26,537 --> 00:15:29,931
Hi, I'm Jack McFarland
Welcome to "Jack Talk!"
273
00:15:30,813 --> 00:15:35,694
Today I have my exclusive follow up
interview with Grace Adler
274
00:15:35,694 --> 00:15:38,373
Woman misunderstood
or homophobic monster?
275
00:15:38,373 --> 00:15:39,914
Let's give her
a warm welcome
276
00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:43,670
Okay, all right
All right. Hey!
277
00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:47,018
Give her a chance
She hasn't even sat down yet. Okay?
278
00:15:47,018 --> 00:15:50,342
Now, I need to correct
an editing mistake from yesterday
279
00:15:50,342 --> 00:15:53,813
I've known little Grace Adler here for many
many years and she is not a homophobe
280
00:15:53,813 --> 00:15:54,838
I'm not
281
00:15:54,838 --> 00:15:56,783
Yes, you are
yes you are!
282
00:15:58,053 --> 00:15:59,733
Hey, hey!
All right, hey now
283
00:15:59,733 --> 00:16:01,903
Let's take a deep breath, okay?
284
00:16:03,190 --> 00:16:06,816
Oh, Grace, I think you broke a rib
yesterday when you attacked me
285
00:16:08,257 --> 00:16:09,165
No, no-- I was hugging him
286
00:16:12,376 --> 00:16:14,132
Oh, shut up!
287
00:16:14,630 --> 00:16:16,471
Shut up!
288
00:16:19,237 --> 00:16:20,695
Shame on you!
289
00:16:21,474 --> 00:16:23,662
Bad queens!
290
00:16:24,252 --> 00:16:26,671
Bad queens
291
00:16:27,438 --> 00:16:29,990
Do you even know who you're booing?
292
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:34,632
I have been devoted
to you for decades
293
00:16:34,632 --> 00:16:36,612
When I was a little girl
294
00:16:36,612 --> 00:16:39,852
I showed you mine
when you showed me yours
295
00:16:40,775 --> 00:16:43,108
Even though you didn't care
296
00:16:43,918 --> 00:16:46,374
When I was in high school
I showed you mine
297
00:16:46,374 --> 00:16:49,300
when you showed me yours
even though you didn't care
298
00:16:50,093 --> 00:16:51,598
And when I was
in my twenties
299
00:16:51,598 --> 00:16:53,334
I slept with you
300
00:16:53,334 --> 00:16:55,614
even though you
still didn't care
301
00:16:56,664 --> 00:16:59,508
And now, you sneer at me
302
00:16:59,508 --> 00:17:01,493
at the Chelsea Market
and you--
303
00:17:01,493 --> 00:17:05,710
you throw macaroni salad
at me on Christopher Street?
304
00:17:06,353 --> 00:17:08,146
And it's so not fair
305
00:17:08,146 --> 00:17:10,333
because I love you people!
306
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:17,667
I have always loved you
in a very unhealthy way
307
00:17:20,011 --> 00:17:23,600
For my own
personal development
308
00:17:24,854 --> 00:17:29,459
so now love me back
dammit!
309
00:17:35,574 --> 00:17:36,978
You seem fine
310
00:17:36,978 --> 00:17:41,117
Why are you so drank
when we together the same amount?
311
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,734
Honey, you don't look so good
312
00:17:43,734 --> 00:17:46,853
Not so much fun peeking
behind the wall, is it?
313
00:17:46,853 --> 00:17:48,903
No. People like us
314
00:17:48,903 --> 00:17:54,305
we should just leave the walls up
and all the feelings on the other side
315
00:17:54,305 --> 00:17:55,655
What you say we start
316
00:17:55,655 --> 00:17:58,534
stacking those bricks back, huh?
317
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,304
Good idea
318
00:18:00,304 --> 00:18:01,619
Me first
319
00:18:02,294 --> 00:18:07,464
Oh! The time that the football team
caught me kissing that poster...
320
00:18:07,464 --> 00:18:10,700
of the football team
321
00:18:14,876 --> 00:18:16,575
Never happened
322
00:18:16,575 --> 00:18:18,414
My eighth birthday
which my mother celebrated
323
00:18:18,414 --> 00:18:22,062
by changing my name
and moving us to Vancouver
324
00:18:22,062 --> 00:18:23,150
Good-bye
325
00:18:23,790 --> 00:18:28,494
or the time I told my first boyfriend
I loved him and he said
326
00:18:28,494 --> 00:18:31,235
"Did you just eat falafel?"
327
00:18:33,652 --> 00:18:35,133
Doesn't hurt
328
00:18:35,992 --> 00:18:41,551
The horrible, muffled cries of Patty Hearst
from behind that closet door
329
00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:45,571
Never happened
330
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:51,273
Oh, what about.....
what about Stan coming back?
331
00:18:51,273 --> 00:18:53,690
That's....that's a big ole brick
332
00:18:54,358 --> 00:18:57,119
I think I need to leave
that one out for a while
333
00:18:57,119 --> 00:18:58,453
Really?
334
00:18:58,453 --> 00:19:03,937
Well, it hurts, but I may
need to take a peek again
335
00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:08,310
I'll leave one out, too
336
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:12,636
I had the perfect guy
and the perfect job
337
00:19:12,636 --> 00:19:15,454
and I threw it all away
338
00:19:15,454 --> 00:19:20,197
Honey, I said leave out a brick
not blow out an archway
339
00:19:23,053 --> 00:19:24,469
But, you know...
340
00:19:24,469 --> 00:19:26,943
I do feel a little better
341
00:19:26,943 --> 00:19:29,217
Yeah?
I'm glad
342
00:19:29,217 --> 00:19:31,294
I feel like I'm gonna throw up
343
00:19:31,294 --> 00:19:33,417
Okay
Second door on your left
344
00:19:34,294 --> 00:19:36,335
Hurumi!
Get your violin and spatula
345
00:19:36,335 --> 00:19:39,581
and meet Mr. Truman
in the john!
346
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:47,070
Love me back, dammit!
347
00:19:49,516 --> 00:19:50,678
Wow
348
00:19:51,751 --> 00:19:53,854
And that was my fourth take
349
00:19:53,854 --> 00:19:57,492
I'm sorry we had to keep doing it
Stupid sound man
350
00:19:57,492 --> 00:20:01,377
New rule, you gotta be at least
thirteen to work on the show
351
00:20:02,063 --> 00:20:04,173
Wait a minute
you did that four times?
352
00:20:04,173 --> 00:20:05,676
How did you remember it?
353
00:20:05,676 --> 00:20:06,625
Please
354
00:20:06,625 --> 00:20:11,253
Any hag worth her salt has that speech
ready to go for the day you guys turn
355
00:20:11,974 --> 00:20:13,858
Wanna hear it in Spanish?
356
00:20:15,424 --> 00:20:19,191
Qu? es la problema con su gente?
357
00:20:19,191 --> 00:20:22,436
No soy un homophobe!
26674
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof