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1
00:00:06,067 --> 00:00:10,086
Ew. Since when did they start making
orange-flavored Cheerios?
2
00:00:10,086 --> 00:00:12,730
Since you poured your juice in the bowl
3
00:00:14,570 --> 00:00:18,351
Hey. Our Alumni newsletter
came today
4
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:20,727
It's always fun to see
what people've been up to
5
00:00:20,964 --> 00:00:26,767
Oh, hey, Will... Look at this picture of
Amy Scott on the Great Wall of China
6
00:00:26,998 --> 00:00:29,118
That's two things you can see from space
7
00:00:40,298 --> 00:00:41,977
Yes, she's big-boned
8
00:00:41,977 --> 00:00:46,684
Yes, it looks like this two-thousand year old
wall is crumbling beneath her
9
00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:50,218
But, do we really have to insult everyone
whenever this thing comes out?
10
00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:53,925
Hey, if I'm donating 10 bucks to the school,
I'm gettin' something for it
11
00:00:54,801 --> 00:00:57,475
I just think that kind of pettiness
is a waste of energy
12
00:00:57,525 --> 00:01:00,808
Why measure ourselves against other
people's successes and failures?
13
00:01:00,808 --> 00:01:02,604
That's crazy!
14
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:06,072
How else are we gonna figure out
if we're better than someone?
15
00:01:07,180 --> 00:01:10,100
Jack, just let it go, or else he'll start
going on about his new therapist
16
00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:12,232
Anyways, that's what my new therapist says
17
00:01:12,232 --> 00:01:16,127
You know that New York Magazine named her
one of the Top 75 therapists in the city?
18
00:01:16,127 --> 00:01:18,701
And if you don't count Jews, Top 2
19
00:01:20,437 --> 00:01:23,093
She wrote this book on seasonal
affective disorder. It's amazing
20
00:01:23,093 --> 00:01:24,819
Yeah. I've been meaning to read that
21
00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:28,880
Maybe in the summer when each day
isn't like looking into a black abyss
22
00:01:29,658 --> 00:01:33,061
Call me old-fashioned, but I think
therapy is a load of hooey
23
00:01:33,686 --> 00:01:36,640
Give me six carefully placed
leeches anyday
24
00:01:37,837 --> 00:01:39,825
You know, Grace,
you should try Dr. Keller
25
00:01:39,825 --> 00:01:42,455
She is tough, but good
Here's her card
26
00:01:42,455 --> 00:01:45,607
I'm the one that wrote "tough, but good"
27
00:01:46,884 --> 00:01:49,222
Why not. Maybe there will be a real loser
in the waiting room
28
00:01:49,222 --> 00:01:52,224
who will make me
feel better about myself
29
00:01:53,032 --> 00:01:54,897
What time's your appointment?
30
00:01:58,945 --> 00:02:02,662
I just had the most horrible experience
31
00:02:02,882 --> 00:02:06,035
This dwarf tried to steal my purse
32
00:02:08,495 --> 00:02:13,666
Fortunately, I was able to wrestle
him to the ground and get it back
33
00:02:16,292 --> 00:02:21,013
Karen! This isn't your purse!
It's a Dora The Explorer lunch box!
34
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:24,376
You just mugged a little girl
35
00:02:24,376 --> 00:02:27,189
A hungry, frightened little girl
36
00:02:28,495 --> 00:02:31,396
Are you saying I don't know a dwarf mugger
37
00:02:31,396 --> 00:02:34,654
in a plaid skirt and braids
when she skips past me?!
38
00:02:35,477 --> 00:02:36,616
I don't know, Karen
39
00:02:36,616 --> 00:02:39,660
This is strikingly similar to last week
when you thought that woman stole your fur
40
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:42,942
and you came home with a seeing-eye-dog
around your neck
41
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:47,762
Yeah, and that fur crapped
all over my carpet, too!
42
00:02:48,365 --> 00:02:50,289
Well, just in case, we need to
go back to the school
43
00:02:50,289 --> 00:02:52,435
and make sure nobody's
missing a lunch box
44
00:03:01,498 --> 00:03:04,217
What? It's egg salad
What kid wants that?
45
00:03:04,999 --> 00:03:05,199
��
46
00:03:05,199 --> 00:03:05,399
�� &
47
00:03:05,399 --> 00:03:05,599
�� & ��
48
00:03:05,599 --> 00:03:05,799
�� & ��
49
00:03:05,799 --> 00:03:05,999
�� & ����
50
00:03:05,999 --> 00:03:06,199
�� & ���̽�
51
00:03:06,199 --> 00:03:06,399
�� & ���̽�
52
00:03:06,399 --> 00:03:06,599
�� & ���̽�
53
00:03:06,599 --> 00:03:06,799
�� & ���̽�
54
00:03:06,799 --> 00:03:06,999
�� & ���̽�
55
00:03:06,999 --> 00:03:07,199
�� & ���̽�
56
00:03:07,199 --> 00:03:08,091
�� & ���̽�
57
00:03:08,091 --> 00:03:09,385
7x20 The Blonde Leading the Blind
58
00:03:09,385 --> 00:03:11,974
��ũ ����: �̷̹�(hamsuter@nate.com)
�ѱ� ����: �峪��(shin979@nate.com)
59
00:03:11,974 --> 00:03:14,562
��ũ ����: ������(mlitm@nate.com)
���� ��Ʈ: �躴��(myiuno@nate.com)
60
00:03:24,125 --> 00:03:28,365
It's just that I-I'm a partner now,
and I should have a better stapler
61
00:03:28,593 --> 00:03:31,334
I'm still using the same old Swingline
that got me through law school
62
00:03:31,334 --> 00:03:34,709
Now Gary, who isn't even a partner,
has this new silver one that doesn't--
63
00:03:34,709 --> 00:03:35,798
Knock it off, Will
64
00:03:36,023 --> 00:03:39,067
The stapler is your penis,
and you're worried that Gary's is bigger
65
00:03:41,328 --> 00:03:44,740
Wow, you are tough
This is really resonating with me
66
00:03:44,740 --> 00:03:47,972
I've--I've always had an issue
comparing myself to other people
67
00:03:48,237 --> 00:03:51,693
Oh, my God. This might have
something to do with my brothers
68
00:03:52,628 --> 00:03:54,453
Scoot over a little bit,
you're blocking the clock
69
00:03:54,453 --> 00:03:55,704
Oh, sorry
70
00:03:57,588 --> 00:04:00,507
I just remembered this thing that
happened in a touch football game
71
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:03,148
It was Thanksgiving
I think I was about 12
72
00:04:03,148 --> 00:04:04,838
Interesting. Would you like to share that?
73
00:04:04,838 --> 00:04:07,097
- I would
- Well, you can't
74
00:04:07,857 --> 00:04:11,861
'Cause you crapped around for about
48 minutes talking about a stapler
75
00:04:13,418 --> 00:04:14,911
So we'll get into that next week
76
00:04:14,911 --> 00:04:17,068
In the meantime, I'd like to
give you an assignment
77
00:04:17,313 --> 00:04:18,499
An assignment?
78
00:04:19,061 --> 00:04:22,683
Are you using your mind tricks
to mold me into an assassin?
79
00:04:23,224 --> 00:04:24,511
What's my code name?
80
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:28,027
How about Grown Men Acting Cutesy
Makes Me Wanna Throw Up?
81
00:04:29,849 --> 00:04:32,552
I was hoping for double-O something. But...
82
00:04:34,666 --> 00:04:37,232
Okay, I'd like you to write a letter
to your younger self
83
00:04:37,232 --> 00:04:39,746
apologizing for what you've become
84
00:04:40,252 --> 00:04:43,148
And warning him not to make the same mistakes
85
00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:47,928
- How long does it have to be?
- I'm guessing it's gonna be quite long
86
00:04:49,736 --> 00:04:52,258
Should--should it be typed or handwritten?
87
00:04:52,258 --> 00:04:54,458
I don't care
I'm not gonna read it
88
00:04:58,021 --> 00:04:59,621
Thank you, Dr. Keller
89
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:03,394
- How'd it go?
- Whew. Intense. Grueling
90
00:05:03,394 --> 00:05:05,313
Like I've never felt so raw, emotionally
91
00:05:05,313 --> 00:05:06,786
- Did you cry?
- No, no
92
00:05:06,786 --> 00:05:08,861
I did last week and she made fun of me
93
00:05:10,306 --> 00:05:12,481
- That is awful!
- No, no, I deserved it
94
00:05:12,481 --> 00:05:14,495
'Cause I'm not a baby, I'm a man
95
00:05:16,308 --> 00:05:17,603
I don't want to go in there
96
00:05:18,149 --> 00:05:21,944
You may not know this about me,
but I really hate talking about myself
97
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:27,993
Well, it's courageous
the way you force yourself
98
00:05:27,993 --> 00:05:29,049
Grace?
99
00:05:31,072 --> 00:05:34,549
It's only 50 minutes and I'll be
right out here doing my homework
100
00:05:34,549 --> 00:05:39,377
Ugh! There's homework?
I'll just copy yours
101
00:05:43,153 --> 00:05:46,553
Karen, are you in here?
102
00:05:47,134 --> 00:05:49,530
Ollie, Ollie, OxyContin
103
00:05:53,506 --> 00:05:54,581
Rosie!
104
00:05:56,183 --> 00:05:59,347
I thought you were one of those alligators
that come up from the sewer
105
00:06:02,074 --> 00:06:06,399
I'm supposed to be cleaning,
but this tub is softer than my bed
106
00:06:07,293 --> 00:06:10,794
Rosie, I'm worried about Karen
I think she might need glasses
107
00:06:10,794 --> 00:06:13,028
Of course she does,
but she won't admit it
108
00:06:13,268 --> 00:06:14,550
Well, why haven't you said anything?
109
00:06:14,550 --> 00:06:16,472
Eh, I'm not that invested
110
00:06:18,485 --> 00:06:20,737
Well, I'm gonna get her to admit it
111
00:06:21,704 --> 00:06:24,441
Why does the weight of the world
always fall on my shoulders?
112
00:06:25,099 --> 00:06:26,979
Good thing I did my shrugs today
113
00:06:30,288 --> 00:06:33,400
Rosie, this place is spotless
114
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:36,768
Whatever you've been doing, why don't
you do it to the tops of your hands?
115
00:06:39,782 --> 00:06:42,081
Great. I've been cleaning all morning
116
00:06:42,081 --> 00:06:45,384
Oh, Rosie. As a reward
for all of your hard work
117
00:06:45,384 --> 00:06:48,311
I made you a nice big turkey sandwich
118
00:06:48,557 --> 00:06:52,165
It's hanging from a string off the balcony
If you can get it, it's yours. Go on
119
00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:56,895
Great. I put a tarantula in the liquor
cabinet If you can find it, it's yours
120
00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:01,700
Jackie, you're here just in time
to help me feed my fish
121
00:07:02,109 --> 00:07:03,703
Fish tanks
122
00:07:04,312 --> 00:07:08,793
People say they're relaxing,
but I've never really found them to be...
123
00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:13,493
Hey
124
00:07:13,493 --> 00:07:16,416
Oh, sorry! Hey, Kare, can I
ask you something? / Sure
125
00:07:17,102 --> 00:07:20,098
Well, you know how I
assert my individuality
126
00:07:20,098 --> 00:07:22,963
by wearing a gently
satirical button every day?
127
00:07:23,197 --> 00:07:28,845
Of course! Who could forget your
"God is coming and she is pissed button"?
128
00:07:32,279 --> 00:07:36,405
God is a woman...
It's funny 'cause it's blasphemous
129
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:43,566
- So, do you like this one?
- Oh, yes, honey, I love it
130
00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:45,915
- You didn't even read it
- I did too
131
00:07:45,915 --> 00:07:46,842
Then what's it say?
132
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:49,422
Honey, I don't need to tell you
We both know what it says
133
00:07:49,422 --> 00:07:50,745
Yeah, but I want you to read it
134
00:07:50,745 --> 00:07:51,965
Why don't I read it later, honey?
135
00:07:51,965 --> 00:07:55,062
You know I always like to curl up
in bed with a good button
136
00:07:55,501 --> 00:07:56,251
Read it ! / No
Read it ! / No
137
00:07:56,251 --> 00:07:58,262
Read it ! / No
Read it !
138
00:07:58,262 --> 00:08:01,978
"A woman needs a man
like a fish needs a bicycle"?
139
00:08:02,889 --> 00:08:06,275
No! I only wear that during
Women's History Month
140
00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:10,329
This one says, "A man's gotta
believe in something
141
00:08:10,329 --> 00:08:12,813
I believe I'll have another beer."
142
00:08:16,617 --> 00:08:17,982
Eh, the ladies like it
143
00:08:19,192 --> 00:08:20,804
Jackie, why are you acting so crazy?
144
00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:23,084
Because you're blind as a bat, Karen
You need glasses!
145
00:08:23,084 --> 00:08:25,721
My vision is perfect. How dare you!
146
00:08:33,792 --> 00:08:38,526
Okay. A letter warning me not to make
the same mistakes I've made...
147
00:08:39,742 --> 00:08:41,840
"Dear Young Will
148
00:08:42,330 --> 00:08:43,979
When you're 19
149
00:08:44,235 --> 00:08:46,917
your sleazy, perv of an English professor
150
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:50,828
is going to offer you an A
in exchange for sexual favors
151
00:08:51,927 --> 00:08:53,354
Go for it."
152
00:08:55,262 --> 00:08:57,160
'Scuse me? Do you have the time?
153
00:08:57,464 --> 00:09:00,106
Yeah, it's a quarter after...
Oh, my God
154
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:01,914
She's been in there,
like an hour and a half
155
00:09:01,914 --> 00:09:04,433
Yeah, I know. It's going into my session
156
00:09:04,433 --> 00:09:06,153
I need to tell somebody about that
157
00:09:06,426 --> 00:09:08,829
Otherwise, I'll start another fire tonight
158
00:09:10,311 --> 00:09:11,958
Oh, that sounds cozy
159
00:09:12,476 --> 00:09:13,722
Oh, you mean-- Oh
160
00:09:15,164 --> 00:09:17,828
God! Poor Grace
She's gotta be a mess
161
00:09:20,975 --> 00:09:25,402
Oh, Georgia! That was so fun
I can't believe how quick the time went
162
00:09:25,402 --> 00:09:28,613
I had a great time too
You are a doll
163
00:09:28,613 --> 00:09:29,992
I'm getting a jump on my letter
164
00:09:29,992 --> 00:09:31,569
Ugh, you're still here
165
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:37,371
Oh, let's go, Nester. If you're good,
I'll let you burn last month's magazines
166
00:09:40,157 --> 00:09:41,812
So, it went well?
167
00:09:42,318 --> 00:09:44,309
Oh, Georgia's great
168
00:09:45,219 --> 00:09:47,001
Uh, she gave me an assignment
169
00:09:47,001 --> 00:09:53,135
My younger self has to buy me a spa
treatment as a gift for being so adorable
170
00:09:53,998 --> 00:09:57,026
I'm adorable! Why is Georgia
making me write a stupid letter?
171
00:09:57,292 --> 00:10:00,018
Oh, I think she wants you
to call her Dr. Keller
172
00:10:01,044 --> 00:10:02,205
Well, I don't know what to tell you
173
00:10:02,205 --> 00:10:04,778
I guess she likes me
We're gonna have lunch tomorrow
174
00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:09,130
What?! She told me if I ever see her
in a restaurant, that I'm supposed to leave
175
00:10:11,606 --> 00:10:15,190
Well, if you really must know
she wants to study me
176
00:10:15,190 --> 00:10:16,590
She thinks I'm interesting
177
00:10:16,590 --> 00:10:19,689
You're not interesting! We passed, like,
20 of you on the way here
178
00:10:21,248 --> 00:10:24,929
If I'm not interesting, then why am I gonna
be a case study in her next book?
179
00:10:24,929 --> 00:10:28,521
- What are you even a case study for?
- Who cares? I'm in a book
180
00:10:29,228 --> 00:10:32,465
Grace A. Adorable New York Neurotic
181
00:10:33,851 --> 00:10:35,182
Well, I think this is a bad idea
182
00:10:35,182 --> 00:10:39,104
Well, you're just saying that because you're
not interesting enough to be a case study
183
00:10:39,104 --> 00:10:42,334
Will T. Bitter New York Homo
184
00:10:44,015 --> 00:10:46,615
- I'm interesting
- You're not in a book
185
00:10:47,066 --> 00:10:48,256
Oh, who cares? How embarrassing
186
00:10:48,256 --> 00:10:51,831
I feel sorry for you, selling yourself out
for a little attention. So sad
187
00:10:51,831 --> 00:10:52,991
It's killing you, isn't it?
188
00:10:53,191 --> 00:10:55,859
I'm gonna get in that book,
or this city is gonna burn
189
00:11:01,221 --> 00:11:04,527
See, Karen, that exam wasn't
as bad as you thought
190
00:11:04,947 --> 00:11:06,423
And it was quick too
191
00:11:06,423 --> 00:11:08,960
'Cause your pupils are already dilated
192
00:11:10,855 --> 00:11:15,115
I guess so, but, you know, that doctor
wasn't as thorough as I had expected
193
00:11:15,115 --> 00:11:18,012
He almost forgot to do
my breast examination
194
00:11:20,073 --> 00:11:22,803
With the rising cost of insurance these days
195
00:11:22,803 --> 00:11:26,988
doctors don't touch you inappropriately
unless you demand it
196
00:11:27,433 --> 00:11:31,553
Oh, Jackie, you're a good friend
Thank you for making me come here
197
00:11:31,553 --> 00:11:35,638
Even if I did have to be in the same room
with of all these hideous freaks
198
00:11:36,796 --> 00:11:38,717
Oh, she didn't mean all of you, no
199
00:11:38,717 --> 00:11:43,348
no. But, I mean, if I, like, had to guess,
probably, you know, like you and you
200
00:11:43,348 --> 00:11:45,118
Excuse me, sir, can you turn around?
201
00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:47,251
Yes, definitely you, heh
202
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:50,554
Well, your glasses are ready, Mrs. Walker
203
00:11:50,814 --> 00:11:52,359
And I'm sorry I had to
put in so many eye drops
204
00:11:52,359 --> 00:11:54,485
but your eyes had absolutely
no moisture in them
205
00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:56,558
I actually had to blow dust off them
206
00:11:57,107 --> 00:12:00,295
Rosie uses Pledge on a paper
towel while I sleep
207
00:12:01,412 --> 00:12:03,178
Well, why don't you try these on
and see if they fit
208
00:12:03,178 --> 00:12:05,467
because I really don't care to
spend any more time with you
209
00:12:09,365 --> 00:12:13,107
I can see! I can see!
Oh, there you are
210
00:12:18,163 --> 00:12:20,004
Yay, you can see!
211
00:12:20,789 --> 00:12:23,206
Oh, and I'm tasting blood
212
00:12:24,586 --> 00:12:27,524
So, is this what the world looks like?
213
00:12:27,524 --> 00:12:31,214
Everything is so crisp
and clear and beautiful
214
00:12:31,507 --> 00:12:33,287
Oh, except for you
215
00:12:34,632 --> 00:12:36,296
And you
216
00:12:36,296 --> 00:12:38,588
Oh, you gotta get this guy
to turn around, Karen
217
00:12:40,130 --> 00:12:42,329
Oh, yeah, honey, definitely you
218
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:48,701
Seeing is a very powerful thing
You have to be very careful exactly--
219
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:53,316
AAH! Oh, my God! I'm a monster!
Damn you, Doctor!
220
00:12:53,316 --> 00:12:57,082
Damn you and your evil,
futuristic vision glasses!
221
00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:01,525
You know they've had glasses
since the 16th century
222
00:13:01,525 --> 00:13:03,877
Yeah, um, she didn't like
wearing them then either
223
00:13:07,376 --> 00:13:09,579
Hi, is this the Alumni Association?
224
00:13:09,721 --> 00:13:14,003
This is Grace Adler. I just wanted to give
you a heads-up. I'm gonna be in a book
225
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,203
It doesn't matter what kind of book
226
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:20,477
Just please put in, "Grace Adler
will be starring in a book."
227
00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:24,502
- Hey
- Hi. How was your session?
228
00:13:24,502 --> 00:13:26,422
Oh, it was good. Yeah
229
00:13:26,422 --> 00:13:29,682
- Yeah, Georgia and I had a great time
- You mean Dr. Keller
230
00:13:29,963 --> 00:13:33,457
No, no, Georgia
Guess who's in the book?
231
00:13:34,919 --> 00:13:37,131
What? How did you get in the book?
232
00:13:37,131 --> 00:13:40,324
Well, I just dug deep. Like...
I talked about the real issues of my life...
233
00:13:40,324 --> 00:13:43,812
my fears, my childhood,
my last relationship. And then
234
00:13:43,812 --> 00:13:47,348
just to nail it, I-- When I talked about
my mother, I-I developed a facial tick
235
00:13:50,447 --> 00:13:53,732
This is so unfair!
The book is my thing! I had it first
236
00:13:53,732 --> 00:13:56,196
- Yeah, well, she was my therapist first
- You didn't even read her last book
237
00:13:56,196 --> 00:13:58,405
Well, I'll read this one
'Cause I'm in it
238
00:13:59,695 --> 00:14:01,001
Well, if you're gonna be in it
I don't wanna be in it
239
00:14:01,001 --> 00:14:03,274
- Good, don't be in it
- You don't be in it!
240
00:14:03,606 --> 00:14:05,257
She's obviously more interested in me
241
00:14:05,257 --> 00:14:08,673
- Oh, really? Do you fake mental illness?
- I don't have to!
242
00:14:11,124 --> 00:14:14,691
This crazy is all real!
243
00:14:15,820 --> 00:14:18,656
You know what? I'm going to Georgia and
I'm gonna tell her I will not stand for this
244
00:14:18,656 --> 00:14:21,295
What's she gonna to do?
Kick me out of the book? / Maybe
245
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:22,489
I'm going with you!
246
00:14:28,694 --> 00:14:30,940
Oh, Karen. Gosh, I felt so bad
the way we left things
247
00:14:30,940 --> 00:14:34,883
I rushed right over after seeing
Vin Diesel in The Pacifier
248
00:14:36,725 --> 00:14:38,523
I'm not gonna lie to you, Jackie
249
00:14:38,866 --> 00:14:41,689
I am flattered that you raced to my side
250
00:14:41,971 --> 00:14:45,676
But I still can't forgive you for making
me try those devil goggles on
251
00:14:46,169 --> 00:14:50,369
But why? Karen
a lot of people wear glasses
252
00:14:50,369 --> 00:14:52,537
Charles Nelson Reilly...
253
00:14:53,271 --> 00:14:54,767
Larry King...
254
00:14:56,624 --> 00:14:58,339
Jessica Tandy...
255
00:14:59,014 --> 00:15:00,851
You know, right up near the end there
256
00:15:02,691 --> 00:15:05,612
Honey, that's my point
I'm getting old
257
00:15:06,130 --> 00:15:09,683
You know, when I saw myself in that
mirror today all I could think was,
258
00:15:09,683 --> 00:15:14,267
I should be wearing a boa and Wayland
Flowers should have his hand up my ass
259
00:15:15,508 --> 00:15:17,958
Well, there's nothing you can do about it now
260
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:21,152
Karen, all straight people age
261
00:15:24,194 --> 00:15:27,828
Honey, sometimes I wish
I was one of the little fishies
262
00:15:28,337 --> 00:15:30,981
They never get old
They never die
263
00:15:30,981 --> 00:15:34,004
They just swim around and around
in that tank for six months
264
00:15:34,004 --> 00:15:38,622
and then miraculously turn into a
completely different kind of fish
265
00:15:40,796 --> 00:15:44,289
Karen, I'm not gonna have this argument
with you again. You will never be a fish!
266
00:15:44,289 --> 00:15:46,424
Isn't it enough you drink like one?
267
00:15:47,292 --> 00:15:50,693
No! Now leave me alone,
you vague, formless shape!
268
00:15:51,231 --> 00:15:55,067
All right, fine. But you should know,
there's no shame in getting old
269
00:15:55,309 --> 00:15:57,684
There's only shame in getting ugly
270
00:15:59,470 --> 00:16:01,792
But that's never gonna happen to you
271
00:16:01,792 --> 00:16:03,445
All right? So here
272
00:16:03,971 --> 00:16:05,299
I'm gonna leave these here
273
00:16:05,299 --> 00:16:08,166
and you put them on when you're
ready to join the real world
274
00:16:11,236 --> 00:16:14,217
And I mean "The Real World: Hawaii"
with the funny drunk girl
275
00:16:15,886 --> 00:16:20,333
Not "The Real World: Seattle", where
the girl with the Lyme Disease got slapped
276
00:16:49,370 --> 00:16:52,086
You look stunning in those glasses, lady
277
00:16:52,148 --> 00:16:55,730
I do? You really think so, Rosie?
278
00:16:55,730 --> 00:17:00,557
I do. You look like the lovely
and talented Tina Fey
279
00:17:03,886 --> 00:17:08,810
Wow. Well, if there's a compliment
higher than that, I don't know what it is
280
00:17:10,449 --> 00:17:13,089
You know what else,
my sweet, sweet Rosie?
281
00:17:13,089 --> 00:17:14,573
What, Mommy?
282
00:17:14,830 --> 00:17:16,490
Now that I have these glasses on...
283
00:17:16,490 --> 00:17:22,014
I can see the layer of filth that's covering
every surface in this bathroom,including you!
284
00:17:23,005 --> 00:17:26,298
So get your two friends,
chamois and 409, and get to work!
285
00:17:26,298 --> 00:17:27,681
Enjoy those glasses, lady,
286
00:17:27,681 --> 00:17:30,580
because they're gonna be blended
in your margarita tonight
287
00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:34,578
No salt on the rim
288
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:42,809
I'm sure sooner or later, somebody's
gonna do a case study
289
00:17:42,809 --> 00:17:45,380
about handsome gay men and the women
that bug the hell out of them
290
00:17:46,506 --> 00:17:47,624
Well, you're already in a book
291
00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:50,021
It's called, People Who Push Their Way
Into Other People's Books
292
00:17:50,021 --> 00:17:52,270
'Cause They're Too Lame
To Get Their Own Book
293
00:17:52,902 --> 00:17:54,438
Yeah, I'm sure that's the working title
294
00:17:56,088 --> 00:17:58,553
Hey, what's going on out here?
I'm in session
295
00:17:58,553 --> 00:18:01,868
Look, here's the deal. Only one of us can be
in your book & I really think it should be me
296
00:18:01,868 --> 00:18:05,055
And I think it should be me
I am way crazier than him
297
00:18:05,055 --> 00:18:06,028
I almost cut all my hair off today
298
00:18:06,028 --> 00:18:08,613
Oh, please, she would never cut off her hair
It's half her personality
299
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,166
Reminds me of my mother
300
00:18:11,613 --> 00:18:14,057
Fake! That's fake!
301
00:18:14,238 --> 00:18:16,773
Enough. Come on in
302
00:18:16,773 --> 00:18:18,021
I thought you were in session
303
00:18:18,021 --> 00:18:21,898
I lied, I was having a scotch and
a cigarette before my next client
304
00:18:23,315 --> 00:18:24,511
Do you mind if I bum a smoke?
305
00:18:24,511 --> 00:18:25,716
- You don't smoke
- Yes, I do
306
00:18:25,716 --> 00:18:28,122
I have an oral fixation because
I was not breast-fed enough as a child
307
00:18:28,122 --> 00:18:29,720
I have the same thing
I got it from my mother
308
00:18:30,287 --> 00:18:32,444
That's my twitch
She stole my twitch!
309
00:18:34,047 --> 00:18:35,962
I steal too. I'm really messed up
310
00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:41,367
Look, do you two really think that this fight
is just about being in the book?
311
00:18:42,745 --> 00:18:45,316
- Oh, you mean what's underneath the book?
- Ugh, here we go
312
00:18:45,316 --> 00:18:46,807
Please, we went over it a million times
313
00:18:46,807 --> 00:18:50,125
Our codependent relationship is toxic & will
never grow until we spend more time apart
314
00:18:50,125 --> 00:18:52,693
By clinging to each other, we're not
emotionally available to anyone else
315
00:18:52,693 --> 00:18:55,163
- blah, blah, dysfunction--
- Blah, blah, blah, psychologically crippled
316
00:18:55,163 --> 00:18:57,529
We've been over it so many times
We've got it on coasters
317
00:18:59,485 --> 00:19:01,133
Sorry, dumb asses
318
00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:04,941
This is just about being in the book
319
00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:07,175
Your relationship is fine
320
00:19:07,175 --> 00:19:09,411
- It is?
- We're not toxic?
321
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:15,146
Ugh. I'm gonna tell you what
I told Mary-Kate and Ashley O
322
00:19:17,391 --> 00:19:21,007
Together, you two pretty much
balance each other out
323
00:19:21,232 --> 00:19:25,739
Apart, you're just a couple of skinny
little bag ladies with big sunglasses
324
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:32,200
Did you hear that?
Our relationship is perfectly healthy
325
00:19:32,531 --> 00:19:35,760
More importantly, she said
we were skinny like the O. twins
27891
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