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1
00:00:04,453 --> 00:00:05,896
I thought you were taking a nap?
2
00:00:05,896 --> 00:00:08,085
Well, I heard you cleaning
You know I can't sleep
3
00:00:08,085 --> 00:00:10,323
when other people are having fun
4
00:00:11,597 --> 00:00:12,877
What's going on?
5
00:00:12,877 --> 00:00:15,038
Remember that guy from
Valentine's Day, Nick?
6
00:00:15,038 --> 00:00:17,653
He's on his way over to pick up
the phone that he left at my office
7
00:00:17,653 --> 00:00:21,406
Oh, not that cool camera phone with
the games we've been using all week?
8
00:00:22,649 --> 00:00:25,470
I think you're gonna like him
He's really intelligent
9
00:00:25,470 --> 00:00:27,853
How do you know?
You met him for, like, five minutes
10
00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:31,229
- His ring is classical music
- Okay, tell you what--
11
00:00:31,229 --> 00:00:34,983
If I don't like him, I'll tap
my ear and then my nose
12
00:00:34,983 --> 00:00:38,516
If I do like him, I'll tap my foot, twice
13
00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,322
No, that's ridiculous
14
00:00:40,668 --> 00:00:43,451
I'll work the word "volcano"
into a sentence
15
00:00:44,791 --> 00:00:46,337
Can't stay for lunch
I'm just gonna grab some money
16
00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:49,335
out of your wallet so I can grab
a sandwich and a new sweater later
17
00:00:50,405 --> 00:00:54,732
- What's the big rush?
- Karen's got a Peeping Tom
18
00:00:54,732 --> 00:00:56,712
So she wants me over there right away
19
00:00:56,712 --> 00:00:59,870
I assume to adjust the lighting or--
20
00:00:59,870 --> 00:01:03,573
smear Vaseline on the windows
to make her look lovelier
21
00:01:05,368 --> 00:01:07,221
Never had a Peeping Tom
22
00:01:07,550 --> 00:01:09,928
All I've ever had is
some guy in college yelling
23
00:01:09,928 --> 00:01:12,064
"Pull down the blinds, boy!"
24
00:01:15,556 --> 00:01:16,509
Hi
25
00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:18,158
Look, I'm sorry
I didn't bring you anything
26
00:01:18,158 --> 00:01:21,100
but I just figured maybe
it's best to keep the bar low
27
00:01:21,506 --> 00:01:22,608
Oh, what a coincidence
28
00:01:22,608 --> 00:01:26,366
I was gonna stuff my shirt, and then I
realized I should probably keep the bra low
29
00:01:29,868 --> 00:01:34,576
Like I stuff my bra..
Anymore
30
00:01:35,549 --> 00:01:37,685
- This is my friend, Will
- Nice to meet you
31
00:01:37,685 --> 00:01:39,817
- Yes
- Ooh, that's quite a handshake
32
00:01:39,817 --> 00:01:41,617
It's like a volcano
33
00:01:44,948 --> 00:01:46,221
Uh, this is Jack
34
00:01:46,566 --> 00:01:47,452
Hey, Jack
35
00:01:48,271 --> 00:01:49,224
Hi
36
00:01:50,721 --> 00:01:52,475
How does he know my name?
37
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:55,686
Did I used to date him?
38
00:01:55,958 --> 00:01:59,677
Yes, just for those few months
between "never" and "you're-an-idiot"
39
00:02:00,064 --> 00:02:02,589
Right, right
Well, it's good to see you again
40
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:05,073
and, uh, I'm sorry things
didn't work out between us
41
00:02:06,362 --> 00:02:09,557
So I guess this is good-bye
42
00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:12,987
So you wanna-- It's--
Okay, I'll just-- Okay
43
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:23,036
Here's your phone
And I love the classical music ring
44
00:02:23,036 --> 00:02:25,565
Actually, that's the theme from "Jeopardy!"
45
00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,736
Which, I believe, is Beethoven
46
00:02:30,888 --> 00:02:32,490
- I'm gonna get back to work
- Okay
47
00:02:32,490 --> 00:02:35,257
- We're still on for Saturday night?
- Definitely
48
00:02:54,399 --> 00:02:55,740
Thank you
49
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:03,639
That was some kiss
I emptied the dishwasher during it
50
00:03:05,632 --> 00:03:07,398
Oh, my God
What is wrong with me?
51
00:03:07,398 --> 00:03:10,384
- Why do I always do that?
- What, act like a giant whore?
52
00:03:11,739 --> 00:03:13,629
We haven't even gone on a date
and already I'm kissing him like
53
00:03:13,629 --> 00:03:15,707
he just got back from Iraq
54
00:03:17,285 --> 00:03:20,287
Oh, I always do this
I move too fast
55
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,173
Sexually, emotionally-- everything
56
00:03:22,173 --> 00:03:25,496
Well, if you really like this guy,
why don't you try slowing down?
57
00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:29,483
Get to know him
For once, don't think with your penis
58
00:03:34,396 --> 00:03:35,807
You know what?
You're right
59
00:03:35,807 --> 00:03:38,403
And you're gonna help me
You're coming on my date
60
00:03:38,403 --> 00:03:40,125
- No, I'm not
- You're gonna show up at the restaurant
61
00:03:40,125 --> 00:03:42,193
I'll ask you to join us
That way it'll stay casual
62
00:03:42,193 --> 00:03:44,239
and I'll go home with you instead of him
63
00:03:44,239 --> 00:03:46,531
Uh, I also have a date on Saturday night
64
00:03:46,531 --> 00:03:48,444
Okay, why do you lie?
65
00:03:49,887 --> 00:03:52,870
- I do have a date!
- Will, please
66
00:03:52,870 --> 00:03:55,382
I really like Nick, and I don't
wanna screw this up
67
00:03:55,382 --> 00:03:57,639
If I have sex with him,
it'll be on your head
68
00:04:00,802 --> 00:04:02,655
Fine, I'll go
69
00:04:03,264 --> 00:04:06,748
God, that image was so disturbing
I have to go wash my hair
70
00:04:07,011 --> 00:04:07,212
��
71
00:04:07,212 --> 00:04:07,412
�� &
72
00:04:07,412 --> 00:04:07,612
�� & ��
73
00:04:07,612 --> 00:04:07,812
�� & ��
74
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:08,013
�� & ����
75
00:04:08,013 --> 00:04:08,213
�� & ���̽�
76
00:04:08,213 --> 00:04:08,413
�� & ���̽�
77
00:04:08,413 --> 00:04:08,613
�� & ���̽�
78
00:04:08,613 --> 00:04:08,813
�� & ���̽�
79
00:04:08,813 --> 00:04:09,014
�� & ���̽�
80
00:04:09,014 --> 00:04:09,214
�� & ���̽�
81
00:04:09,214 --> 00:04:09,811
�� & ���̽�
82
00:04:09,811 --> 00:04:10,960
7x17 The Birds and the Bees
83
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,087
��ũ ����
�̷̹�(hamsuter@nate.com)
84
00:04:12,087 --> 00:04:13,485
�ѱ� ����
�躴��(myiuno@nate.com)
85
00:04:13,485 --> 00:04:14,342
��ũ ����
������(ZZsgirl@nate.com)
86
00:04:14,342 --> 00:04:15,469
���� ��Ʈ
������(soheejin@nate.com)
87
00:04:17,985 --> 00:04:20,273
La bee dah, bee ba dah...
88
00:04:23,980 --> 00:04:26,099
Where is my Mint Milano?
89
00:04:27,516 --> 00:04:28,995
I don't know, lady
Maybe you ate it
90
00:04:28,995 --> 00:04:31,820
No! I would remember
91
00:04:31,820 --> 00:04:36,061
You know that I allow myself
one Mint Milano per day
92
00:04:36,061 --> 00:04:40,146
And now, I cannot have
another Mint Milano until tomorrow
93
00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:43,446
And yes, I'm sure that
my doctor would be very happy
94
00:04:43,446 --> 00:04:46,343
if I could go a day without a Mint Milano
95
00:04:46,343 --> 00:04:49,369
But I say a person's got to enjoy life!
96
00:04:50,893 --> 00:04:52,927
I want my Mint Milano!
97
00:04:54,235 --> 00:04:56,284
What are those crumbs on your jacket?
98
00:04:56,515 --> 00:04:57,838
Mint Milano
99
00:04:59,738 --> 00:05:01,580
Maybe I did eat it
100
00:05:02,784 --> 00:05:06,427
Whenever I get together with my friends and
we talk about who works for the craziest bitch
101
00:05:06,427 --> 00:05:08,209
I always win
102
00:05:10,491 --> 00:05:13,617
Karen, I am so sorry about
your Peeping Tom
103
00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:15,273
The thought that someone
would degrade you
104
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:18,601
by viewing you simply as
a piece of meat disgusts me
105
00:05:20,463 --> 00:05:22,412
You hear that?
It disgusts me! Agh!
106
00:05:30,558 --> 00:05:33,544
I know, Jackie
I'm at my wits' end
107
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,680
Oh, look at him!
108
00:05:36,001 --> 00:05:39,524
He's still out there, that sick bastard!
109
00:05:39,524 --> 00:05:43,226
Is this what you want?
Huh? Huh?!
110
00:05:43,226 --> 00:05:47,501
Is this what you like?
Oh, he's relentless!
111
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,407
Jackie, help me out of this skirt
112
00:05:56,742 --> 00:05:59,850
Jackie, there he is
Get him!
113
00:06:00,815 --> 00:06:02,863
Hey, ya sick perv bastard!
114
00:06:03,562 --> 00:06:06,154
You get off looking at my friend
in her apartment up there? Huh?
115
00:06:06,154 --> 00:06:07,416
It disgusts me!
116
00:06:10,184 --> 00:06:12,112
- No
- You hear that? It disgusts me!
117
00:06:13,603 --> 00:06:14,947
I-I wasn't spying
118
00:06:14,947 --> 00:06:18,009
I'm trying to get a look at
that Golden-cheeked Warbler
119
00:06:19,049 --> 00:06:22,589
I don't know what he just said to me
but I think he wants to hear my butt sing
120
00:06:23,937 --> 00:06:25,779
Dendroica chrysoparia
121
00:06:25,779 --> 00:06:28,921
Extremely rare to find
this bird in the northeast
122
00:06:29,220 --> 00:06:32,989
So you have no interest whatsoever in the
Boobicus Giganticus of my dear friend here?
123
00:06:34,429 --> 00:06:38,328
I was just looking at the beautiful
specimen right outside your window
124
00:06:38,328 --> 00:06:40,478
The male... He's so beautiful
125
00:06:40,478 --> 00:06:44,646
He has a black cap, golden cheeks,
and a distinctive stripe through the eye
126
00:06:44,768 --> 00:06:47,567
- What does the female look like?
- Who cares?
127
00:06:49,940 --> 00:06:51,314
Oh, my God!
128
00:06:53,047 --> 00:06:57,498
Do you know what we have here?
The rarest of all gay subspecies:
129
00:06:57,498 --> 00:06:59,896
The Hot Gay Nerd!
130
00:07:02,087 --> 00:07:03,393
Fascinating
131
00:07:03,393 --> 00:07:07,187
I thought that the Hot Gay Nerd could be
found only in the halls of academia
132
00:07:07,187 --> 00:07:10,005
or the bathrooms of the Pentagon
133
00:07:11,590 --> 00:07:14,437
- Honey, you should ask him out
- No, no, no
134
00:07:14,437 --> 00:07:16,254
Can't just ask out a Hot Gay Nerd
135
00:07:16,254 --> 00:07:18,758
The HGN is notoriously skittish
136
00:07:19,582 --> 00:07:22,444
They must be approached
slowly and from the rear
137
00:07:28,033 --> 00:07:30,280
Will a table by the fire
be too warm for you?
138
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:31,813
Oh, no, no. This is great
139
00:07:31,813 --> 00:07:34,406
So cold outside, I think
I froze off my third nipple
140
00:07:35,297 --> 00:07:36,606
I'm kidding
I don't have a third nipple
141
00:07:36,606 --> 00:07:41,774
I just have-- I just have two nipples
I don't even usually say "nipple"
142
00:07:42,804 --> 00:07:45,516
Or testicle. Like, never
143
00:07:45,516 --> 00:07:48,871
You'll be happy to see neither
of those items are on the menu
144
00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:53,062
I can't believe you laughed
when I fell on the ice
145
00:07:53,062 --> 00:07:54,557
I did not laugh at you falling
146
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:58,246
I laughed at the 30 foot slide down
the sidewalk that came after
147
00:07:59,167 --> 00:08:01,784
Oh, so you think it's funny to see
a grown woman sliding on her ass down
148
00:08:01,784 --> 00:08:04,528
Lexington Avenue with
a cocktail dress over her head?
149
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:09,621
Not as funny as if it was a nun
but still pretty funny
150
00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:13,564
And, look, I'm sorry I could not
find your other shoe
151
00:08:13,564 --> 00:08:16,453
I just appreciate you prying this one
out of the sewer grate
152
00:08:17,733 --> 00:08:20,033
Hi. The fire's toasty
153
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,215
It is perfect for a winter day in New York
154
00:08:22,215 --> 00:08:24,550
Yeah, are you ready to order?
'Cause I'm not really up for chit-chat
155
00:08:24,550 --> 00:08:27,883
I just found out I'm pregnant, and
I have a lot of phone calls to make
156
00:08:29,345 --> 00:08:30,979
A baby? Ooh
157
00:08:31,357 --> 00:08:34,980
Wow, you're so young
It's-- That's a tough road ahead
158
00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:37,202
Do you have baby back ribs?
159
00:08:41,239 --> 00:08:45,333
Mmm, the appetizers look great
I think I'm gonna order three of 'em
160
00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:47,939
- Oh yeah? Instead of an entree?
- What?
161
00:08:54,614 --> 00:08:56,924
- What are you doing?
- Nothing
162
00:08:57,635 --> 00:09:00,822
- You just stole that menu
- No, no, no, it's just that--
163
00:09:01,098 --> 00:09:03,655
In case things work out with us
164
00:09:03,655 --> 00:09:08,085
one day I could give it to you
as a memento from our first date
165
00:09:10,231 --> 00:09:12,178
Aww, that is so sweet
166
00:09:12,178 --> 00:09:14,021
Grace?
167
00:09:14,405 --> 00:09:15,527
Is that--
168
00:09:16,638 --> 00:09:20,115
My God, it is you!
What-- And hey!
169
00:09:20,115 --> 00:09:23,257
Hi, Will
Um, Nick, you remember Will
170
00:09:23,257 --> 00:09:26,901
Sure, sure, the guy I was jealous of
before I knew you were gay
171
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:30,206
- How's it going?
- Good
172
00:09:32,085 --> 00:09:34,789
- Yeah, things are good
- Things are good
173
00:09:34,789 --> 00:09:39,126
Um... It's so weird, 'cause you know
I'm here by myself, right over there
174
00:09:39,126 --> 00:09:40,543
Alone
175
00:09:40,862 --> 00:09:43,826
Oh, well, we won't keep ya
176
00:09:48,489 --> 00:09:50,590
The Golden-cheeked Warbler
puffs out his chest
177
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,480
and prepares to bid farewell
to the setting sun
178
00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,555
The Hot Gay Nerd...
179
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:59,914
is unaware of his natural beauty
180
00:10:00,528 --> 00:10:06,094
He hides what appears to be a narrow waist
and broad shoulders under ill-fitting khaki
181
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:09,912
And a belt that clearly came with the pants
182
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:12,543
Jackie!
183
00:10:12,543 --> 00:10:15,441
You've been out here for so long
You must be freezing
184
00:10:15,441 --> 00:10:17,356
- Here, I brought ya some soup
- Oh
185
00:10:18,495 --> 00:10:20,199
Karen, this is gin
186
00:10:21,328 --> 00:10:23,141
There's noodles in it
187
00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:28,627
Thanks, Kare, but
keep it down, all right?
188
00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:31,296
The HGN startles very easily
189
00:10:31,774 --> 00:10:34,157
Just admiring him from a distance
190
00:10:34,369 --> 00:10:36,943
Quit stalling. You've been
observing him long enough
191
00:10:36,943 --> 00:10:38,849
- Go ask him out
- Okay, okay
192
00:10:38,849 --> 00:10:40,688
I just have to approach him delicately and
193
00:10:40,688 --> 00:10:43,235
pick up on any subtle cues
he may give me
194
00:10:43,235 --> 00:10:44,599
Oh, joy!
195
00:10:44,599 --> 00:10:47,462
The male warbler is about to
start his mating ritual
196
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:54,598
This sublime creature entices his
potential mate first by puffing out his chest
197
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:58,790
Then he ruffles his feathers
It's his way of flirting
198
00:11:00,565 --> 00:11:03,734
Yes, and then, finally
he produces a high-pitched warble
199
00:11:03,734 --> 00:11:06,316
the beauty of which is unparalleled
200
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:21,892
- What are you doing?
- Warbling. You like?
201
00:11:21,892 --> 00:11:24,653
Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't properly
introduced myself. I'm Jack
202
00:11:24,653 --> 00:11:27,304
- Aaron
- Yes. So you're a bird watcher
203
00:11:27,304 --> 00:11:29,775
I bet you've seen a cockatoo
Heh-heh...
204
00:11:32,032 --> 00:11:34,555
So would you like to have dinner
with me sometime?
205
00:11:34,555 --> 00:11:37,543
- Oh--oh, uh...
- Like maybe this Friday?
206
00:11:37,543 --> 00:11:39,230
Friday?
207
00:11:39,798 --> 00:11:43,615
That's just right after Thursday
I-I--gotta sorta--
208
00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:45,124
Oh, Jiminy Cricket!
209
00:11:48,651 --> 00:11:50,248
Karen, he flitted away!
210
00:11:50,707 --> 00:11:54,830
Well, Jackie, he's gay
It's not like you people ever walk away
211
00:12:01,234 --> 00:12:02,837
Excuse me, can you bring me
another mineral water?
212
00:12:02,837 --> 00:12:04,860
I think this one evaporated
213
00:12:09,243 --> 00:12:12,293
Oh, I'm sorry, Sir. Jackets
are required in the dining room
214
00:12:12,293 --> 00:12:14,103
Yeah. Do you have an asbestos
one I could borrow?
215
00:12:14,103 --> 00:12:16,107
'Cause I'm about to catch on fire
216
00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:20,843
Don't worry about it. This is an Yves
Saint Laurent cashmere turtleneck
217
00:12:20,843 --> 00:12:23,330
so I think my attire will be appropriate
218
00:12:28,236 --> 00:12:30,969
You have six brothers and three sisters?
219
00:12:30,969 --> 00:12:32,676
Well, you know, I am Irish Catholic
220
00:12:32,676 --> 00:12:35,335
And my parents never had
a TV in the bedroom, so...
221
00:12:35,335 --> 00:12:40,801
Oh! Your poor mother
I cannot imagine that
222
00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:42,661
No TV in the bedroom?
223
00:12:44,086 --> 00:12:46,505
Hi, me again
Can I borrow her for a second?
224
00:12:46,505 --> 00:12:49,649
Yeah, sure. Uh, do they
have a treadmill over there?
225
00:12:53,460 --> 00:12:55,378
What do you want?
You're interrupting my date
226
00:12:55,645 --> 00:12:57,845
Yeah. That was the plan!
227
00:12:57,845 --> 00:13:01,437
- Grace, I cancelled a date for this
- Why do you have to lie?
228
00:13:02,675 --> 00:13:05,000
- I'm leaving
- No, no, you can't. I still need you
229
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,879
- Okay, then let me join you
- No. I don't need you now
230
00:13:07,879 --> 00:13:09,142
It's going well
231
00:13:09,142 --> 00:13:11,913
But it's not going so well that
I'm in danger of throwing myself at him
232
00:13:11,913 --> 00:13:14,298
But it's going well enough that
I still want to be alone with him
233
00:13:14,298 --> 00:13:17,442
When I'm just at the point
where it might be going too well
234
00:13:17,442 --> 00:13:18,983
when I really want to throw myself at him
235
00:13:18,983 --> 00:13:21,052
which is exactly when I don't want to
throw myself at him
236
00:13:21,052 --> 00:13:23,566
that's when I'm gonna need you
237
00:13:25,057 --> 00:13:28,736
I hate that I completely understood
what you just said
238
00:13:30,336 --> 00:13:33,199
Can't you just wait a few more minutes?
You have the best table in the restaurant
239
00:13:33,199 --> 00:13:35,644
Yes, if you enjoy dining on the sun
240
00:13:38,326 --> 00:13:39,414
Look at me, Grace!
241
00:13:39,414 --> 00:13:42,874
My back is sweating so much
my underwear is like a bucket!
242
00:13:44,337 --> 00:13:47,103
Please, Will
I think I might really like him
243
00:13:47,606 --> 00:13:48,696
Okay
244
00:13:53,303 --> 00:13:54,728
Here's a dry spot
245
00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:56,777
Thank you
246
00:13:56,777 --> 00:13:58,248
I'm timing you. Five minutes
247
00:13:58,568 --> 00:14:00,665
Oh, great, my watch slipped off!
248
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,573
Lady, there are cookie crumbs
all over in here
249
00:14:05,573 --> 00:14:07,185
What did I tell you? One a day
250
00:14:07,185 --> 00:14:11,196
I didn't, Rosie, I swear
I used 'em to catch a bird
251
00:14:12,013 --> 00:14:14,584
Well, don't expect me to cook it
I'm on my break
252
00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:17,672
Uh, okay
253
00:14:17,672 --> 00:14:22,274
I don't know what you people do
in Costa-Guata-Mexi-Rico...
254
00:14:24,927 --> 00:14:31,002
But here in America, we don't eat birds
255
00:14:31,855 --> 00:14:34,608
Yeah, but you drink a lot of Wild Turkey
256
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,297
Karen, I got your message
257
00:14:39,783 --> 00:14:42,751
Your curd's from an uptight cow?
258
00:14:43,262 --> 00:14:47,752
Honey, your nerd's on
his way up right now
259
00:14:48,073 --> 00:14:50,313
Oh, my God
How did you get him to come up here?
260
00:14:50,839 --> 00:14:52,799
- Ta-da!
- Oh, my God!
261
00:14:52,799 --> 00:14:54,950
- You caught the bird!
- Honey, it was easy
262
00:14:54,950 --> 00:14:57,144
I just gave him some Mint Milanos--
263
00:15:02,848 --> 00:15:05,962
And some brandy to wash 'em down
264
00:15:10,413 --> 00:15:13,271
So what do you think is wrong
with your friend over there?
265
00:15:17,574 --> 00:15:19,704
You know what?
I think I'm gonna ask him to join us
266
00:15:19,704 --> 00:15:21,409
You know, before you do
267
00:15:21,676 --> 00:15:23,685
I just wanna do this
268
00:15:26,154 --> 00:15:27,442
And this
269
00:15:36,918 --> 00:15:41,291
What? / And I thought
my hot flashes were bad
270
00:15:44,431 --> 00:15:46,831
Excuse me, Sir
Is everything okay here?
271
00:15:46,831 --> 00:15:48,100
Actually, no
272
00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:50,669
Would it be possible to move to
another table and away from this one
273
00:15:50,669 --> 00:15:53,394
which is apparently
the portal to Satan's lair?
274
00:15:54,816 --> 00:15:58,712
Sir, you're either going to have to
put your clothes back on, or leave
275
00:15:58,712 --> 00:16:00,512
Okay, fine. I'll get dressed
276
00:16:00,512 --> 00:16:03,130
I'm just about to join my friends
over there any--
277
00:16:03,697 --> 00:16:05,072
Way
278
00:16:05,687 --> 00:16:07,596
Oh, you gotta be kidding me!
279
00:16:10,516 --> 00:16:11,356
Karen!
280
00:16:11,356 --> 00:16:14,347
I can't believe you killed it
How could you give a bird alcohol?
281
00:16:14,858 --> 00:16:16,820
Well, it was a lot harder than you think
282
00:16:17,164 --> 00:16:19,268
At first, I tried to pin it down
with an ashtray and
283
00:16:19,268 --> 00:16:22,260
pry open its beak with
a pair of ice tongs, but...
284
00:16:22,793 --> 00:16:27,219
ultimately, I just dunked it
head-first into my glass
285
00:16:29,045 --> 00:16:33,013
All right, well...
Clearly nobody's at fault here
286
00:16:33,503 --> 00:16:36,349
There is a Hot Gay Nerd
here to see you
287
00:16:36,944 --> 00:16:39,809
I've never seen one up close before
288
00:16:39,809 --> 00:16:42,111
They're quite spectacular
289
00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:44,796
Oh, my God, it's him!
What do we do?
290
00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:46,294
I have an idea!
Vamp!
291
00:16:46,294 --> 00:16:47,684
Whore!
292
00:16:47,684 --> 00:16:49,280
No, vamp
293
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,673
Stall him for a little while
I'll be right back
294
00:16:55,506 --> 00:16:58,770
Jack! Karen told me that
you found the warbler
295
00:16:58,770 --> 00:17:01,454
I am so excited!
Which, for me, is dangerous
296
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:04,509
'cause I was born with my heart
on the outside of my chest
297
00:17:04,865 --> 00:17:05,794
But you know what?
298
00:17:05,794 --> 00:17:10,134
You have made me the happiest man alive
who was never supposed to live past 17
299
00:17:10,134 --> 00:17:13,088
Aaron, I'm supposed to vamp, but--
300
00:17:13,088 --> 00:17:18,593
One, I don't feel comfortable lying to you
and two, I don't have my lipstick or my boa
301
00:17:19,332 --> 00:17:21,409
- You have bad news?
- Oh, no, it's not what you think
302
00:17:21,409 --> 00:17:24,039
- Is it that my bird is dead?
- Oh, it's exactly what you thought
303
00:17:24,039 --> 00:17:26,485
Oh! God! Why?
304
00:17:26,485 --> 00:17:28,243
This is the worst thing that
has ever happened to me
305
00:17:28,243 --> 00:17:31,426
since I saw Big Bird smoking
a cigarette with his head off
306
00:17:32,227 --> 00:17:33,983
Honey, great news
Your bird isn't dead
307
00:17:33,983 --> 00:17:36,872
He's alive
And more beautiful than ever
308
00:17:36,872 --> 00:17:41,658
- Oh, my God. Let me see
- You won't be disappointed. Ta-da!
309
00:17:42,592 --> 00:17:43,765
What is this?
310
00:17:43,765 --> 00:17:45,903
It's your bird
Don't you recognize it?
311
00:17:45,903 --> 00:17:49,050
It's got 78,000 feathers
312
00:17:49,531 --> 00:17:51,912
And $100 in iTunes
313
00:17:52,980 --> 00:17:54,712
Karen! Shame on you!
314
00:17:54,712 --> 00:17:57,506
The Hot Gay Nerd cannot be bought
He is a man of science
315
00:17:57,506 --> 00:17:58,438
Good news
316
00:17:58,438 --> 00:18:02,802
I gave the little fella a couple of sips of coffee
a few slaps across the face, and he came to
317
00:18:02,802 --> 00:18:04,946
- He's alive in the kitchen!
- Back off, that's not my bird
318
00:18:04,946 --> 00:18:06,832
This is my bird
319
00:18:08,394 --> 00:18:11,275
You are not the rare Hot Gay Nerd
320
00:18:11,642 --> 00:18:15,146
Why you are the very common
Hot Gay Opportunist
321
00:18:15,896 --> 00:18:18,258
Are you saying you don't
want to go out with me?
322
00:18:18,533 --> 00:18:22,511
Well, you've just shown some
very unattractive qualities
323
00:18:22,511 --> 00:18:26,771
But fortunately, you still retain the one
that I hold nearest to my heart
324
00:18:26,771 --> 00:18:28,622
Hot
325
00:18:29,336 --> 00:18:31,506
Come on
Let's go spend that bird
326
00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:41,619
- How could you leave me like that?
- Will, listen--
327
00:18:41,619 --> 00:18:42,908
No. You listen
328
00:18:42,908 --> 00:18:45,113
I was doing you a favor
And how was I rewarded?
329
00:18:45,113 --> 00:18:48,821
By being ditched, then
burning off my eyelashes
330
00:18:48,821 --> 00:18:51,386
On the roaring fire next to my table?
Ironically, no
331
00:18:51,386 --> 00:18:53,311
On the small votive candle
in the men's room
332
00:18:53,311 --> 00:18:55,984
while I was wringing out
my pants in the sink!
333
00:18:57,012 --> 00:19:00,788
Look, Will, I know that you're mad
but you really, really did help me tonight
334
00:19:00,788 --> 00:19:04,776
Oh, please!
Don't even try that with m-- How?
335
00:19:05,609 --> 00:19:09,539
You made me realize that I shouldn't need
someone else to help me control myself
336
00:19:09,539 --> 00:19:13,701
After dinner, he dropped me off,
asked me for another date
337
00:19:13,701 --> 00:19:17,515
we had a kiss of appropriate length,
and I came home
338
00:19:17,805 --> 00:19:19,808
- You didn't sleep with him?
- I did not
339
00:19:19,808 --> 00:19:23,243
- Or let him feel you up in the cab?
- Only because he said I was pretty
340
00:19:25,545 --> 00:19:27,626
I'm only kidding
Nothing happened
341
00:19:28,257 --> 00:19:31,431
Well. I'm proud of you
342
00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:32,968
And it's all because of you
343
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,403
- I'm going to bed
- Me too
344
00:19:35,403 --> 00:19:37,073
- Good night
- Good night
345
00:19:37,073 --> 00:19:38,885
Oh, just one more thing
346
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:41,156
Hey
347
00:19:43,997 --> 00:19:46,605
It's tough to get a cab out there / Hm
348
00:19:47,351 --> 00:19:50,128
- Say good night to Nick, Grace
- Good night. Call me
349
00:19:50,128 --> 00:19:52,262
- I had a really good time
- She did too
350
00:19:52,262 --> 00:19:54,497
Don't worry, she'll put out next time
28094
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