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1
00:00:20,803 --> 00:00:23,762
I guess I've always
had a European flare
for romance.
2
00:00:26,852 --> 00:00:29,377
As far back
as I can remember,
3
00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:31,292
I've been in love
with love.
4
00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:36,297
I've always loved women.
What a gender!
5
00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:39,126
I've nothing against men,
don't get me wrong.
6
00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:42,346
I mean, like, my Dad.
7
00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:44,435
I mean, Dad...
Dad was the greatest.
8
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:47,830
Except for his stogies.
9
00:00:49,701 --> 00:00:53,270
I love you, kid.
You got the whole world
at your feet.
10
00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:01,974
- But, the women...
- I mean, really...
11
00:01:02,975 --> 00:01:04,412
What's not to love?
12
00:01:07,632 --> 00:01:09,417
I remember
the horrible feeling
13
00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:12,420
in the pit of my stomach
with my first
girlfriend, Wiwi.
14
00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:15,684
Well, her real name was Lily, but I couldn't pronounce my L's yet.
15
00:01:15,727 --> 00:01:17,381
I loved her completely.
16
00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:20,471
Blue eyes, blonde hair.
She had the cutest
little nose.
17
00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:21,472
But, I was jilted.
18
00:01:23,996 --> 00:01:25,868
Cheated on at age one.
19
00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:30,220
Unfortunately, this sort
of thing became routine.
20
00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:34,224
I don't know why, but I was
always attracted to
the same type of girls.
21
00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:36,183
Heart-breakers.
22
00:01:40,709 --> 00:01:43,581
I decided not to waste
any more times with bimbos.
23
00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:44,930
I mean, besides,
24
00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:47,368
what do bimbos have to do
with real love?
25
00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:50,371
I was on a quest,
a quest for true love.
26
00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:52,155
And I wasn't gonna stop
until I found it.
27
00:01:58,466 --> 00:02:00,511
Sure, things got
a little rocky.
28
00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:04,080
But I vowed never to stop
in my search for true love.
29
00:02:11,957 --> 00:02:13,959
Am I really on an airplane?
30
00:02:14,003 --> 00:02:16,571
Am I really going to meet
this girl's family?
31
00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:19,008
I mean,
why can't I just say no?
32
00:02:19,051 --> 00:02:20,749
Isn't this just exciting?
33
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:23,143
Isn't this wonderful?
34
00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:25,928
God!
Look at those lips.
35
00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:28,496
Ladies and gentlemen. Please fasten your seat belts.
36
00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:31,847
We will be landing in
Itta Bena, Mississippi
momentarily.
37
00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:33,327
Mmm.
38
00:02:46,644 --> 00:02:49,865
Is everyone gonna
act like a black man
is at our table?
39
00:02:50,996 --> 00:02:52,694
He's only Jewish.
40
00:03:05,272 --> 00:03:06,751
I'm freezing.
41
00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:09,580
Oh... I'm freezing.
42
00:03:09,624 --> 00:03:11,930
So much for a romantic
walk in the moonlight.
43
00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:18,328
You warming up a bit?
44
00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:20,852
I thought we'd never
fish you out of that swamp.
45
00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:27,381
So... When's your
daddy coming?
46
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:29,600
He had to run out
to a meeting.
47
00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:31,123
It's nothing personal.
48
00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:33,604
But, Fritz won't be in
the same room with your kind.
49
00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:35,171
Great!
50
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,521
Adolf Hitler's gonna be
my father-in-law.
51
00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,053
Holy cow!
52
00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:50,186
Your dad...
53
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,709
Hey, Fritz.
How you doing?
54
00:03:51,753 --> 00:03:53,711
Good to see you.
Gonna do some hunting?
55
00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:55,235
Yeah, let's go.
56
00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:59,195
I love making
love to you.
57
00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:06,811
Oh...
Ooh...
58
00:04:06,855 --> 00:04:09,640
How's this feel?
59
00:04:09,684 --> 00:04:11,207
The right thing,
the sane thing,
60
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,079
would be to
walk out of here
right this second.
61
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:16,386
This feels great.
62
00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:18,780
This is for you, baby.
63
00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:20,521
These people are nuts.
64
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,218
Can you imagine having
a kid with this woman?
65
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,351
The mangled genetics,
the garbled DNA.
66
00:04:24,394 --> 00:04:25,830
A baby Klansmen.
67
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:27,310
A circumcised Nazi.
68
00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:30,226
This is sensational.
69
00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:34,361
Honey bear?
Yeah?
70
00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:36,450
I think I'm pregnant.
71
00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,550
I have an appointment
with Dr. Reed.
72
00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:51,595
I think I'm pregnant.
73
00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:55,164
Congratulations!
Go right in, dear, room one.
74
00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:56,905
Oh, honey bear.
Wish me luck.
75
00:04:56,948 --> 00:04:59,951
Oh, my God!
This isn't the way
it's supposed to be.
76
00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:01,388
This girl has cheated on me.
77
00:05:01,431 --> 00:05:03,085
She's lied.
She's irresponsible.
78
00:05:03,128 --> 00:05:05,392
Do you understand
the consequences
of this moment?
79
00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:06,741
Say something.
80
00:05:06,784 --> 00:05:09,570
Oh, honey bear!
Aren't you going to
say something?
81
00:05:09,613 --> 00:05:10,658
Anything.
82
00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:12,312
New fathers are
always this way.
83
00:05:14,139 --> 00:05:16,925
Go in, dear. The doctor
will be with you.
84
00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:19,362
You little shit.
You don't love her, do ya?
85
00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:21,364
What?
86
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:22,800
Excuse me.
I didn't say anything.
87
00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:24,498
Oh.
88
00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:34,769
Um, would it be possible
89
00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:37,119
for me to see
the urologist...
90
00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:40,601
Dr. Parker?
91
00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:42,254
What is the nature
of your problem?
92
00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:46,215
It's a little personal.
93
00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:50,350
Yes.
94
00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:54,441
I, um...
95
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:57,792
I have growth...
96
00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:01,361
But I thought that
since I was here.
97
00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:03,145
Herpes, a cluster?
98
00:06:03,188 --> 00:06:07,105
An open sewer.
You get what you deserve.
99
00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:11,762
I beg your pardon?
100
00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:16,854
Room two.
101
00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:17,899
Thank you.
102
00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:22,033
Greg to guilt!
Greg to guilt!
103
00:06:22,077 --> 00:06:23,165
Come in, please.
104
00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:24,471
Mayday! Mayday!
105
00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:35,786
Do you love her, Greg?
Do you love her?
106
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,919
You know, love and
care are different.
107
00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:39,747
Love is when you want
to be with somebody,
108
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:41,531
no matter what size
their breasts are.
109
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,251
Hello. I'm Dr. Parker.
110
00:07:09,037 --> 00:07:10,299
How may I help you?
111
00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:16,566
Well, I have a...
112
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:21,179
I have a little...
113
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:22,180
It's not little.
114
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:24,444
No, it's not... Well...
115
00:07:25,575 --> 00:07:26,750
Oh...
116
00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:28,709
It's kind of a...
117
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:30,754
I... I have a...
118
00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:31,973
I have a...
119
00:07:32,016 --> 00:07:33,104
I have a...
120
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:34,758
I have a... I...
121
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,546
I have a... I have a...
I have a growth.
122
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:43,071
Let's have a look.
123
00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:48,990
Oh!
124
00:07:59,653 --> 00:08:00,610
Oh!
125
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,831
What, what you doing? Oh!
126
00:08:05,267 --> 00:08:07,095
Sure...
127
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:13,057
C'mon Greg.
You are at the urologist.
128
00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:15,103
So she's a woman.
You hardly know her.
129
00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:18,715
Oh... This can't
be happening.
130
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:20,238
Concentrate on anything.
131
00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:22,676
Football. Track and field.
132
00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:24,373
She doesn't even
have big breasts.
133
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:27,637
Just relax.
134
00:08:27,681 --> 00:08:29,465
Relax.
135
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,033
Brain to penis.
Brain to penis.
136
00:08:32,076 --> 00:08:33,904
Think of that foul tip
you took in fourth grade.
137
00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:35,340
Ooh.
138
00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:37,081
Moldy vegetables.
139
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:38,213
Bad investments.
140
00:08:39,083 --> 00:08:40,476
She's not even my type.
141
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,131
She's intelligent,
she's not blonde...
142
00:08:43,174 --> 00:08:45,829
Oh, my God!
143
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:48,266
These types of warts
are fairly common
in men your age.
144
00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:51,095
They are usually brought on
when the body
is under stress.
145
00:08:51,139 --> 00:08:53,358
Which in turn,
causes the immune system
to become vulnerable
146
00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:55,622
to certain types of viruses.
147
00:08:55,665 --> 00:08:57,493
She's literate,
eloquent.
148
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,713
So why am I
attracted to her?
149
00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:02,019
Now, I'm going to give you
a local anesthetic...
150
00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:05,066
And then...
151
00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:11,551
I'm going to use this machine
to burn the wart
and the roots away.
152
00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:13,553
Oh.
153
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:17,644
Uh.
154
00:09:20,037 --> 00:09:21,299
I don't need an anesthetic.
155
00:09:24,215 --> 00:09:25,477
What am I saying?
156
00:09:27,349 --> 00:09:28,959
Are you sure?
157
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:30,526
I'll try the cave-man
approach.
158
00:09:30,961 --> 00:09:31,962
Positive.
159
00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:35,357
It's going to hurt.
160
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:51,286
Count to five and it
will be all over.
161
00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:55,682
What's so funny?
162
00:09:55,725 --> 00:09:57,335
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
It's just that...
163
00:09:59,468 --> 00:10:02,166
Doesn't this remind
you of shop?
164
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:05,822
Only, where are
my goggles?
165
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:10,348
Shop? Goggles?
Is she kidding?
166
00:10:12,786 --> 00:10:14,004
Count to five.
167
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:17,442
Ho. Ho.
168
00:10:17,486 --> 00:10:18,661
One...
169
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,924
Pain! Pain!
170
00:10:20,968 --> 00:10:22,056
Two...
171
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:24,449
Pain! Pain! Pain!
172
00:10:26,843 --> 00:10:29,367
Just a few more seconds.
Are you all right?
173
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:31,543
I'm being cremated alive!
174
00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:32,980
Burned at the stake!
175
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,592
Three...
176
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,028
I'm a ballpark frank!
177
00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:40,161
Four...
178
00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:41,510
Five...
There.
179
00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:43,207
All done.
180
00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:44,339
How do you feel?
181
00:10:44,382 --> 00:10:45,427
Okay...
182
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,648
Never better.
183
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:56,307
I think
he's coming to.
184
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,269
Oh! Honey bear.
185
00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:04,925
Would you like
a glass of water?
186
00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:06,274
Oh.
187
00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:08,798
I'd love a glass of water.
188
00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:10,757
Get it yourself, you creep.
189
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:13,237
While you were
in there making
eyes at the doctor,
190
00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:14,804
Annabell found out
she wasn't pregnant.
191
00:11:15,849 --> 00:11:16,806
Annabell!
192
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:19,200
You're not...
193
00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:20,505
How did you know?
194
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,856
Don't I glow anymore?
195
00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:25,249
I oughta kick your teeth in.
196
00:11:25,293 --> 00:11:26,773
Why you blaming me?
197
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,600
I don't blame you.
198
00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:32,517
God is punishing me
for all the times
I cheated on you.
199
00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:39,960
No!
200
00:11:40,003 --> 00:11:41,613
Uh...
I think I'm having
a little difficulty
201
00:11:41,657 --> 00:11:44,007
handling this particular
situation in my life.
202
00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:46,618
The wisest thing to do...
203
00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:48,795
Eh, just bail out.
204
00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:01,068
Sorry to hear about
you and your
girlfriend, Greg.
205
00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:03,113
Hmm?
Sorry about you
and Annabell.
206
00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:07,901
Hello.
207
00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:10,120
Annabell's been grazing
other pastures, eh, buddy?
208
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:12,470
Who is this?
Jeff, is this you?
209
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:22,654
Greg... Hey buddy!
210
00:12:22,698 --> 00:12:24,395
How did this ever
happen to me?
211
00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:26,267
- Hey, Greg.
- Get in here right now.
212
00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:29,009
Greg. Where the hell
are you? I need you in
my office right now.
213
00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:30,967
I have someone very important I want you to meet.
214
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:34,449
Greg. Answer me,
goddamn it. Greg!
215
00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:36,146
- Greg, Greg. In here now.
- Goddamn it.
216
00:12:36,668 --> 00:12:37,887
Greg. Greg.
217
00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:39,584
Like you to meet
Dirk Martin.
218
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:42,805
He's gonna have his
own TV series this fall.
Brahma Beach Cop.
219
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:45,025
Oh, that's great.
Nice to meet you.
220
00:12:45,677 --> 00:12:47,288
Hey, dude!
221
00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:49,377
The networks are really
excited about him.
222
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:50,900
They think he has
star potential.
223
00:12:50,944 --> 00:12:52,815
Kind of a working
man's sex symbol.
224
00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:54,034
Blue collar hunk.
225
00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:55,862
And I'm proud
to announce,
226
00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:58,865
that the Hoskins PR firm
has just signed this
talented young artist,
227
00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:01,432
to a long term contract.
How about that, eh?
228
00:13:01,476 --> 00:13:03,043
Aw, bitchin'!
229
00:13:04,087 --> 00:13:05,132
Say something.
230
00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:07,090
Anything.
231
00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:09,571
Uh...
232
00:13:09,614 --> 00:13:11,573
How did you
get your part?
233
00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:13,227
Yeah, yeah. Good.
234
00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:15,011
You see, I was writing
my foot boards off
Hilton Head and...
235
00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:16,796
Foot boards?
236
00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:18,972
Yeah, water skis, dude.
Anyway...
237
00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:22,236
I made this really cool,
238
00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:24,499
stand up beach landing
239
00:13:24,542 --> 00:13:26,718
in front of this incredible
looking chick
240
00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:28,590
who turns out to be
this Hollywood producer.
241
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:31,723
Dude. She took one
look at me, she said...
242
00:13:33,508 --> 00:13:34,552
"You."
243
00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:38,992
You, what?
244
00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:41,429
"You!"
245
00:13:43,518 --> 00:13:44,519
You, what?
246
00:13:45,346 --> 00:13:46,608
"You!"
247
00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:48,175
I'd like to talk to you
a second, Greg.
248
00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:50,220
It was good
verbalizing with you, dude.
249
00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:51,918
Oh. Man... Uh,
250
00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,963
I'm really sorry to hear
about you and your chick.
251
00:13:54,007 --> 00:13:56,313
That happened to me,
I would really be cheesed.
252
00:14:02,102 --> 00:14:04,452
Did you hear about
Greg and Annabell?
253
00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:07,237
Wipe his nose, wipe his ass
for all I give a shit.
Just keep him happy.
254
00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,415
I want you to
look after him.
255
00:14:11,459 --> 00:14:13,853
Be his babysitter.
This kid's my ticket
out of here!
256
00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:16,377
Why me?
257
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:18,379
You two have a lot in common.
You're young. You speak each
other's language.
258
00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:19,902
You surf? Water Ski?
259
00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:21,164
God, no.
260
00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:22,774
I want you to go water
skiing with this kid.
261
00:14:22,818 --> 00:14:25,081
Mr. Hoskins, I can't swim.
I'll drown.
262
00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:27,127
Greg.
263
00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:29,172
Have a little compassion,
will ya?
264
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:32,088
Look at me dressing
up like a cowboy.
Do you think I like this?
265
00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:34,569
I gotta do these things.
266
00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:37,398
This is what I've been
waiting for 25 years.
267
00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:38,703
The big time.
268
00:14:38,747 --> 00:14:40,967
A client on
the national level.
269
00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:42,751
No more local begs.
270
00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:45,928
No more used car salesmen
in chicken suits.
271
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:47,277
Do you understand what
that means?
272
00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:49,497
Yes, sir. I understand.
273
00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:52,413
You're a sweet kid.
274
00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:55,285
Stay exactly the way you
are, babe. Don't ever change.
275
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:56,808
By the way, kiddo.
276
00:14:56,852 --> 00:14:58,767
Since you not seeing
the sexy blonde anymore,
277
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:00,421
you wouldn't mind if I...
278
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:02,814
Put her and Dirk together?
279
00:15:02,858 --> 00:15:04,294
Be kind of a nice gesture.
280
00:15:07,863 --> 00:15:10,213
- It's going to be great.
- Ha! This will be terrific.
281
00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:26,316
Yes?
282
00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:30,146
I have a follow up
appointment with
Dr. Billie Parker.
283
00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:33,671
Yes. Room Two, please.
284
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:37,980
That's it?
285
00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:42,289
The doctor will be
right with you.
286
00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:45,727
Thank you.
287
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:47,947
You're welcome.
288
00:15:52,386 --> 00:15:55,476
You sneaky bastard.
Snipping the pussy, aren't ya?
289
00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:57,652
No! I'm looking for love.
290
00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:01,221
I'm available, darling.
291
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,366
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'll come back when you
are in your gown.
292
00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:18,890
No. No, no, no.
That's okay.
293
00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:20,849
Well, if you want me
to watch, you will
have to pay extra.
294
00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:23,330
And, I don't think your
insurance covers that.
295
00:16:26,115 --> 00:16:27,638
Just kidding!
296
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,081
So...
297
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:39,999
How's it hanging?
298
00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:45,656
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry. I can't
believe I said that.
299
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:47,876
I practiced that
in my head all night.
300
00:16:47,919 --> 00:16:50,574
I thought that maybe,
it might loosen my
male patients up, but...
301
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,272
It sounded really
horrible, didn't it?
302
00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:53,447
Yes, it did. I...
303
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:55,057
This is just never
going to work out.
304
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:56,885
I'm never going to be
a good urologist.
305
00:16:56,928 --> 00:16:58,843
Why? Why?
What's the matter?
306
00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:01,237
Well, just look at you.
Look how nervous you are.
307
00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:03,500
You're only my third patient,
and you're the only one
308
00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:05,372
who's come back
for a follow up.Really?
309
00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:06,938
The other two didn't even
pass out of my office.
310
00:17:06,982 --> 00:17:09,071
I... I don't know why
you came back.
311
00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:11,508
Well, I came back
312
00:17:13,206 --> 00:17:14,163
to give you this.
313
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,949
For me?
Yes.
314
00:17:17,993 --> 00:17:20,082
Oh! They're great.
315
00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:21,562
Oh, those are gre...
316
00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:22,954
Goggles.
317
00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:25,392
That's... You're funny.
That's great. Thank you.
318
00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:26,958
I love it. I'll use them.
I love 'em.
319
00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:28,482
Okay!
320
00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:31,050
Um, I also came
back to ask you
321
00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:34,401
if you'd like to go out
and have a cup
of coffee with me.
322
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:44,280
Boy, you've got
a lot of balls.
323
00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:47,631
Oh! No, no, no.
Oh, I'm sorry.
324
00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:51,592
Look. I... I didn't
mean to offend you.
325
00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:53,028
Oh, you didn't offend me.
326
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,683
I was just looking
at your chart.
327
00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:00,905
Just kidding.
328
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:02,864
Um, but, uh...
329
00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:06,737
Really, I make it a point of
never, never socializing
with my patients.
330
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,089
Oh!
331
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:12,047
Well, then if it's a matter
of ethics, I won't be
your patient anymore.
332
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,788
Oh, it's not ethics at all.
333
00:18:13,831 --> 00:18:15,485
My other two patients...
Yeah?
334
00:18:15,529 --> 00:18:18,880
One had VD, and the
other had both of his
testicles removed.
335
00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:20,621
Oh, my God!
That's terrible.
336
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:23,450
Just kidding.
337
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:25,843
Just kidding!
338
00:18:28,846 --> 00:18:30,326
Oh, yeah. I...
339
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:32,198
I'd love to have a cup
of coffee with you.
340
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,504
That's great.
Yeah?
341
00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:36,158
Yeah.
That's great.
342
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:37,986
Um... When?
343
00:18:38,029 --> 00:18:39,509
Let me check my schedule.
Okay.
344
00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:52,043
How about now?
345
00:18:56,396 --> 00:18:58,006
I know it seems
a little bit goofy, but,
346
00:18:58,049 --> 00:18:59,312
I always wanted
to be a rebel.
347
00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:01,357
An individual.
Break new ground.
348
00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:04,055
While the other students were
attracted to the brain
or the heart, I thought,
349
00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:05,666
"Why not the penis?"
350
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:08,147
I mean,
the penis is actually
the heart of our society.
351
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,453
Because no matter
how liberal minded
some men may be,
352
00:19:10,497 --> 00:19:12,151
when it comes down to it,
353
00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:14,457
their dick has the
final say in almost
every major decision.
354
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:17,025
Holy shit!
355
00:19:17,068 --> 00:19:18,244
Oh, my parents, gosh.
356
00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:19,854
They were not too
thrilled with urology.
357
00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:21,682
My father, he's an
Army psychologist.
358
00:19:21,725 --> 00:19:24,902
And he says it's the closest
a woman can come to
neutralizing penis envy,
359
00:19:24,946 --> 00:19:26,817
without having
a sex change.
360
00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:29,690
At one point I thought about
opening an office called
Comedy Urology.
361
00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:32,693
You know, like those traffic
schools in L.A. that are
taught by comedians?
362
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:35,522
But, then I thought,
"How much can a person laugh
during a catheter insertion?"
363
00:19:35,565 --> 00:19:36,871
Ooh! Talk about
a tough audience.
364
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,179
Well, I mean,
I liked him a lot...
365
00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:42,050
I even think I loved
him, but, you know...
366
00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:44,313
I just, marriage, I mean...
That's just outta
the question.
367
00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:45,793
I... I just don't
believe in marriage.
368
00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:47,403
Oh, no. Really?
369
00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:48,839
Oh. Well, I do.
370
00:19:49,579 --> 00:19:50,972
Really? Oh...
371
00:19:51,015 --> 00:19:52,495
Well, it's...
372
00:19:52,539 --> 00:19:55,324
Really? It's just that,
you know...
373
00:19:55,368 --> 00:19:57,631
I mean out of all my
girlfriends, you know...
I mean, they got married,
374
00:19:57,674 --> 00:19:59,763
they got pregnant,
not necessarily
in that order.
375
00:19:59,807 --> 00:20:02,984
But, it all ended
up the same. None of
them are happy.
376
00:20:03,027 --> 00:20:05,465
Oh.
Well, you know, maybe
it's because of my parents.
377
00:20:05,508 --> 00:20:07,989
My parents are like...
They're really different.
378
00:20:08,032 --> 00:20:10,078
But they are great,
you know, and...
379
00:20:10,121 --> 00:20:11,210
I don't know...
380
00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:14,038
I kind of believe
that, that
381
00:20:14,082 --> 00:20:16,780
marriage is...
Is not an ending, but...
382
00:20:16,824 --> 00:20:18,869
But it can be more,
more like a beginning.
383
00:20:18,913 --> 00:20:21,655
You know like a...
it can be a beginning of...
384
00:20:21,698 --> 00:20:23,091
Of partnership.
385
00:20:23,134 --> 00:20:25,702
It can be a beginning
of a...
386
00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:28,270
A true commitment.
It can even be...
387
00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:29,967
Be a beginning
of freedom.
388
00:20:32,013 --> 00:20:33,710
My parents are
very distant.
389
00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:35,582
Oh.
390
00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:40,630
Maybe it can be
391
00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:42,415
the beginning of the end.
392
00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:48,986
Just kidding.
393
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:58,648
♪ You must remember this
394
00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:03,044
♪ A kiss is still a kiss
395
00:21:03,087 --> 00:21:05,960
♪ A sigh
396
00:21:06,003 --> 00:21:11,095
♪ Is just a sigh
397
00:21:11,139 --> 00:21:13,402
♪ The fundamental
398
00:21:13,446 --> 00:21:17,667
♪ Things apply
399
00:21:17,711 --> 00:21:23,282
♪ As time goes by
400
00:21:26,546 --> 00:21:30,201
♪ And when two lovers woo
401
00:21:30,245 --> 00:21:33,770
♪ They still say I love you
402
00:21:33,814 --> 00:21:35,816
♪ On that
403
00:21:35,859 --> 00:21:40,124
♪ You can rely
404
00:21:41,430 --> 00:21:44,041
♪ No matter what
405
00:21:44,085 --> 00:21:48,002
♪ The future brings
406
00:21:48,045 --> 00:21:54,182
♪ As time goes by ♪
407
00:22:00,797 --> 00:22:02,712
May I help you?
408
00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:13,375
What?
409
00:22:14,855 --> 00:22:17,423
Bobo! Bobo leClown.
410
00:22:17,466 --> 00:22:19,468
The famous, Bobo leClown.
411
00:22:19,512 --> 00:22:20,687
Oui.
412
00:22:20,730 --> 00:22:22,079
Oh...
413
00:22:22,123 --> 00:22:25,692
This estate is shown
by appointment only.
414
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:32,916
How many bedrooms?
415
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,091
Seven.
416
00:22:35,049 --> 00:22:36,703
Oh. Seven, no, no, no...
417
00:22:42,578 --> 00:22:44,624
Webster.
Webster.
418
00:22:44,667 --> 00:22:46,887
Webster.
C'est la vie.
419
00:22:48,279 --> 00:22:49,977
Come along, Bobo.
Bye-bye.
420
00:22:51,108 --> 00:22:54,285
Oh! Wait... Bobo?
421
00:22:54,329 --> 00:22:58,377
Well, this house does have
a certain charm to it.
422
00:22:58,420 --> 00:23:00,770
Perhaps I could bend
the rules a bit.
423
00:23:02,076 --> 00:23:03,643
Feel free
to look around.
424
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:07,603
Merci!
425
00:23:25,055 --> 00:23:30,147
What do you think it would
be like to really live here?
426
00:23:30,191 --> 00:23:31,975
I don't know.
427
00:23:38,634 --> 00:23:40,027
Want to find out?
428
00:23:46,642 --> 00:23:48,035
Oui, oui.
429
00:23:52,996 --> 00:23:55,042
Will you marry me?
430
00:23:55,564 --> 00:23:56,696
Yes.
431
00:24:05,356 --> 00:24:06,357
Yes?
432
00:24:09,839 --> 00:24:10,971
Yes.
433
00:24:20,937 --> 00:24:23,113
Bobo?
434
00:24:23,157 --> 00:24:25,551
The door is locked, Bobo.
435
00:24:25,594 --> 00:24:28,423
Bobo? Check the Jacuzzi?
436
00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:30,556
Bobo?
437
00:24:30,599 --> 00:24:32,775
What are you two
doing in there?
438
00:24:32,819 --> 00:24:35,865
Stop that. Open this
door right now.
439
00:24:35,909 --> 00:24:37,737
You may now
kiss the bride.
440
00:24:50,314 --> 00:24:53,056
Mazel tov!
Mazel tov!
441
00:24:56,407 --> 00:24:57,452
- Huh?
- What?
442
00:24:57,496 --> 00:24:58,540
What did she say?
443
00:24:59,454 --> 00:25:01,761
It means, uh...
444
00:25:01,804 --> 00:25:04,024
It means happiness.
445
00:25:04,067 --> 00:25:05,155
It means good luck.
446
00:25:05,199 --> 00:25:07,114
Oh! It means good luck.
447
00:25:07,157 --> 00:25:08,463
Good luck!
448
00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:10,117
Mazel tov!
449
00:25:45,456 --> 00:25:46,849
Was it a tough trip?
450
00:25:48,808 --> 00:25:51,332
Looks like
a cardboard square.
451
00:25:51,375 --> 00:25:53,377
It's not a cardboard,
it's a matzah.
452
00:25:56,990 --> 00:26:00,428
You know, I always
wanted my son to
be a doctor.
453
00:26:00,471 --> 00:26:02,604
But he did
the next best thing.
He married one.
454
00:26:04,258 --> 00:26:05,259
Thanks a lot.
455
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,350
Needs a little
barbeque, this.
456
00:26:13,354 --> 00:26:15,443
Greg, Greg. Come here.
Come here.
457
00:26:15,486 --> 00:26:18,141
I want you to meet
one of my best friends
from high school, Mary Miller.
458
00:26:18,185 --> 00:26:19,665
Hi.
Kim, Kim,
out of the cake.
459
00:26:19,708 --> 00:26:23,930
Foster that's enough punch.
That is enough punch,
I said.
460
00:26:30,719 --> 00:26:33,722
Oh! It was a wonderful
wedding, don't you think?
461
00:26:33,766 --> 00:26:35,245
Yes, it was.
You look like a china doll.
462
00:26:35,289 --> 00:26:36,420
Thank you,
thank you.
463
00:26:36,464 --> 00:26:39,423
Mary Miller!
Mrs. Parker!
464
00:26:55,309 --> 00:26:56,832
Hey! Hey!
465
00:26:57,659 --> 00:26:58,791
Yeah!
466
00:26:59,879 --> 00:27:01,881
Jim's working
two jobs and...
467
00:27:01,924 --> 00:27:03,622
Well, Kim's been sick.
468
00:27:03,665 --> 00:27:06,712
We've had
three ear infections
in three months.
469
00:27:06,755 --> 00:27:08,801
And Buster
is a holy terror.
470
00:27:08,844 --> 00:27:12,413
And Jim Jr. is already
taking after his dad.
471
00:27:12,456 --> 00:27:14,197
He's so mischievous.
472
00:27:14,241 --> 00:27:17,853
I barely have time
to light a cigarette.
473
00:27:17,897 --> 00:27:19,550
Like to have a walk
with your new father?
474
00:27:19,594 --> 00:27:20,943
Sure.
475
00:27:25,556 --> 00:27:26,862
So, how have you been?
476
00:27:28,081 --> 00:27:30,866
Oh! Busy as ever,
busy as ever.
477
00:27:30,910 --> 00:27:32,215
Fantastic university.
478
00:27:33,695 --> 00:27:35,392
Very progressive.
Doing great things here.
479
00:27:36,872 --> 00:27:38,744
Fantastic country.
480
00:27:38,787 --> 00:27:40,920
I loved it ever since I was
stationed at Fort Jackson.
481
00:27:42,269 --> 00:27:43,574
Now they've got me
down in Florida.
482
00:27:45,185 --> 00:27:46,403
In other words, son,
483
00:27:47,448 --> 00:27:49,232
take good care
of my Billie,
484
00:27:49,276 --> 00:27:51,713
or I'll break you into
10,000 little pieces.
485
00:27:51,757 --> 00:27:52,714
Sir?
486
00:27:53,889 --> 00:27:54,890
Just kidding!
487
00:27:59,590 --> 00:28:01,680
I love Billie very,
very much.
488
00:28:03,769 --> 00:28:04,987
Now.
489
00:28:07,424 --> 00:28:09,426
You know...
490
00:28:09,470 --> 00:28:11,602
One time when Billie
was a little girl,
491
00:28:11,646 --> 00:28:14,257
she came home from
visiting a friend of hers.
492
00:28:16,085 --> 00:28:17,260
She was physically ill.
493
00:28:20,176 --> 00:28:22,744
Her mother and I
tried to get her
to tell us what was wrong.
494
00:28:24,485 --> 00:28:25,791
Figured she caught a cold.
495
00:28:26,574 --> 00:28:27,749
Eaten something bad.
496
00:28:30,578 --> 00:28:33,755
She got around to telling us.
She said that
497
00:28:36,410 --> 00:28:38,804
the men at the house
were out on the porch,
498
00:28:38,847 --> 00:28:40,980
smoking and
telling stories.
499
00:28:43,678 --> 00:28:45,636
Wife was inside doing
the house work.
500
00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:47,987
She was only 30.
501
00:28:52,295 --> 00:28:53,296
But...
502
00:28:56,169 --> 00:28:58,867
This is the part I remember
just like it was yesterday.
503
00:29:00,347 --> 00:29:02,784
She was only 30,
but her life was over.
504
00:29:05,656 --> 00:29:06,962
That's what made
Billie so sick.
505
00:29:13,534 --> 00:29:15,275
How you going
to raise the kids?
We're Catholic, you know.
506
00:29:18,147 --> 00:29:19,453
Well...
Is it true you
gave the judge
507
00:29:19,496 --> 00:29:21,760
twenty bucks not to
mention the word "God"?
508
00:29:25,154 --> 00:29:26,852
Uh, well...
509
00:29:26,895 --> 00:29:28,723
I...
Ten thousand little
pieces, son.
510
00:29:58,100 --> 00:29:59,319
♪ He's a man
He's a bull
511
00:29:59,362 --> 00:30:00,581
♪ He's a man
He's a bull
512
00:30:00,624 --> 00:30:01,800
♪ He's Brahma
513
00:30:08,110 --> 00:30:10,417
This guy's awesome.
514
00:30:10,460 --> 00:30:11,810
♪ He's Brahma ♪
515
00:30:11,853 --> 00:30:13,768
That's no bull.
516
00:30:15,901 --> 00:30:18,817
I've seen this show.
He's a good actor.
517
00:30:18,860 --> 00:30:20,949
Our Greg works
with Dirk Martin.
518
00:30:20,993 --> 00:30:22,690
Really?
519
00:30:22,733 --> 00:30:26,868
What kind of
a guy is he, Greg?
Seems pretty intelligent.
520
00:30:28,261 --> 00:30:31,133
Hey, Greg! Dude.
Finally decided to make it.
521
00:30:31,177 --> 00:30:33,614
Hey, what took you
so long, man?
522
00:30:33,657 --> 00:30:35,572
You searching for
your waves?
523
00:30:37,923 --> 00:30:39,576
I got married, Dirk.
524
00:30:39,620 --> 00:30:42,841
So, what do you think of
my new place, man?
525
00:30:44,451 --> 00:30:46,061
Not bad for
my first time, eh?
526
00:30:46,105 --> 00:30:49,108
Look, Dirk. I got
to talk to you...
527
00:30:49,151 --> 00:30:52,763
Honey bear! What are
you doing here?
528
00:30:55,941 --> 00:30:57,551
She's a swell chick.
529
00:30:57,594 --> 00:31:00,119
Real screamer, huh, dude?
530
00:31:00,162 --> 00:31:03,644
Okay, uh. What do you
want to talk about?
I'm a good listener.
531
00:31:06,603 --> 00:31:07,953
I can't swim.
532
00:31:07,996 --> 00:31:09,432
Don't worry, man.
533
00:31:09,476 --> 00:31:11,217
I will personally
take you out.
534
00:31:13,436 --> 00:31:15,264
Dude can't swim.
535
00:31:20,139 --> 00:31:21,314
Whoa!
536
00:31:30,236 --> 00:31:31,280
Whoa!
537
00:31:38,418 --> 00:31:39,810
Whoo! Honey bear!
538
00:32:12,321 --> 00:32:14,541
Dirk!
539
00:32:14,584 --> 00:32:17,936
I can't swim.
540
00:32:20,416 --> 00:32:22,592
Oh! Honey bear!
541
00:32:25,291 --> 00:32:27,336
Gnarly.
542
00:32:47,704 --> 00:32:48,705
Yeah!
543
00:32:51,099 --> 00:32:52,927
Yes, yes, yes!
544
00:32:57,105 --> 00:32:59,194
Oh, this is the happiest
day of my life.
545
00:32:59,238 --> 00:33:01,936
Keep it down,
pecker head.
546
00:33:01,980 --> 00:33:06,375
We'll make friends with our
neighbors as soon we mount
a gun rack on the VW.
547
00:33:06,419 --> 00:33:09,378
Gregory, when are you
going to find a real job?
548
00:33:09,422 --> 00:33:10,858
What's that noise?
549
00:33:10,901 --> 00:33:12,338
Is that running water?
550
00:33:12,381 --> 00:33:13,687
I'm doing the dishes.
551
00:33:13,730 --> 00:33:15,123
Doing the dishes?
552
00:33:15,167 --> 00:33:17,996
He's doing the dishes?
What did he get married for?
553
00:33:18,039 --> 00:33:19,301
Billie and I have a deal.
554
00:33:19,345 --> 00:33:21,173
She cooks,
I do the dishes.
555
00:33:21,216 --> 00:33:23,044
I cook,
she does the dishes.
556
00:33:23,914 --> 00:33:25,742
You cook?
He cooks?
557
00:33:25,786 --> 00:33:27,309
God help the world.
558
00:33:27,353 --> 00:33:29,181
I give this marriage
one week.
559
00:33:31,357 --> 00:33:32,749
Ma, I've gotta go.
560
00:33:32,793 --> 00:33:34,447
Why? What's the matter?
561
00:33:34,490 --> 00:33:36,405
Nothing, nothing.
It's just...
562
00:33:38,277 --> 00:33:39,626
Your mother's talking to you.
563
00:33:39,669 --> 00:33:41,628
Don't play the big shot just
because you're married.
564
00:33:41,671 --> 00:33:43,543
She's still your mother.
565
00:33:43,586 --> 00:33:47,547
Greg. Did you read the
article on Steven Spielberg
in the paper today?
566
00:33:47,590 --> 00:33:48,765
Ma...
567
00:33:49,940 --> 00:33:51,725
We live in different cities.
568
00:33:51,768 --> 00:33:53,205
We have different papers.
569
00:33:54,206 --> 00:33:55,772
Greg, do you know him?
570
00:33:55,816 --> 00:33:57,078
No, Ma.
571
00:33:57,122 --> 00:33:59,950
He seems like such a nice, successful Jewish boy.
572
00:33:59,994 --> 00:34:01,517
That's nice, Ma.
573
00:34:01,561 --> 00:34:03,345
You should
get to know him.
574
00:34:03,389 --> 00:34:06,870
I'm sure all of Hollywood
would love to know
Steven Spielberg, Ma.
575
00:34:07,523 --> 00:34:08,698
I gotta go.
576
00:34:08,742 --> 00:34:10,352
Maybe, you could have lunch with him, Greg.
577
00:34:10,396 --> 00:34:12,180
Maybe you could just
have lunch with him.
578
00:34:12,224 --> 00:34:15,966
I'm telling you, the two of
you would probably hit it off.
579
00:34:16,315 --> 00:34:17,838
Ma...
580
00:34:17,881 --> 00:34:20,580
We live
in different cities.
581
00:34:20,623 --> 00:34:24,366
What am I gonna do?
Ask Steven Spielberg to come
to South Carolina for lunch?
582
00:34:25,063 --> 00:34:27,282
You never know.
583
00:34:27,326 --> 00:34:28,631
Write him a letter.
584
00:34:28,675 --> 00:34:30,677
Write him a letter,
Gregory.
585
00:34:30,720 --> 00:34:31,852
I'll write for you.
586
00:34:31,895 --> 00:34:33,462
Thank you, Ma.
Bye, sweetheart.
587
00:34:35,899 --> 00:34:38,772
You slut. You vixen.
588
00:34:38,815 --> 00:34:41,079
I want your
swollen body.What?
589
00:34:42,558 --> 00:34:45,735
I mean, you can have
my swollen body.
590
00:34:45,779 --> 00:34:47,302
I want your swollen lips.
591
00:34:47,346 --> 00:34:50,697
Oh. Jam your love tool
into my passion canal.
592
00:34:52,220 --> 00:34:55,789
My studly rod stands waiting
with bated breath.
593
00:34:55,832 --> 00:34:59,009
Well. Tell it to gargle
and floss and get
the hell in here.
594
00:34:59,053 --> 00:35:02,404
My flowing river of love
can wait no more.
595
00:35:02,448 --> 00:35:07,583
Oh, but alas. Poor me,
but my tool cannot swim.
596
00:35:07,627 --> 00:35:12,153
It can bask in the sun,
as it floats
on the jism of love.
597
00:35:12,675 --> 00:35:14,286
Yes.
598
00:35:16,940 --> 00:35:18,116
Ew.
599
00:35:23,164 --> 00:35:25,123
♪ Love me sure
600
00:35:27,603 --> 00:35:30,302
♪ Kiss me sure
601
00:35:31,825 --> 00:35:34,088
♪ Hold me sure
602
00:35:34,132 --> 00:35:37,483
Oh. I love that when
you sing to me.
603
00:35:37,526 --> 00:35:39,137
♪ I'm glad that we got chummy
604
00:35:39,180 --> 00:35:40,486
Chummy.
605
00:35:40,529 --> 00:35:43,445
♪ 'Cause something's
cooking in my tummy
606
00:35:43,489 --> 00:35:44,707
Tummy.
607
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:46,622
Don't stop.
608
00:35:48,711 --> 00:35:50,278
♪ Here's another clue
609
00:35:50,322 --> 00:35:51,410
Uh-huh.
610
00:35:51,453 --> 00:35:55,414
♪ It might grow up to look like you ♪
611
00:35:55,457 --> 00:35:57,372
Like you!
612
00:36:02,116 --> 00:36:03,813
Exactly what are
you saying?
613
00:36:05,946 --> 00:36:09,167
I'm pregnant.
We're going
to have a baby.
614
00:36:13,693 --> 00:36:15,042
We're pregnant!
615
00:36:15,085 --> 00:36:16,826
We're gonna have a baby.
616
00:36:23,485 --> 00:36:27,489
Greg, Greg. You would want to
turn out the lights. You're
naked. People can see you.
617
00:36:27,533 --> 00:36:28,882
I don't care.
I don't care.
618
00:36:28,925 --> 00:36:31,928
I want everyone to see me.
I want everyone to know.
619
00:36:31,972 --> 00:36:33,930
We're pregnant.
We're pregnant.
620
00:36:35,932 --> 00:36:37,847
Oh, Greg.
Greg!
621
00:36:42,504 --> 00:36:43,505
Greg!
622
00:36:46,291 --> 00:36:47,248
Greg!
623
00:36:51,165 --> 00:36:52,253
Greg!
624
00:36:52,297 --> 00:36:55,561
I'm pregnant.
We're gonna have a baby.
625
00:36:55,604 --> 00:36:56,866
Ha ha!
626
00:36:56,910 --> 00:36:58,607
I'm gonna be a daddy.
627
00:36:59,478 --> 00:37:01,958
She's gonna be a mommy.
628
00:37:02,002 --> 00:37:04,613
Keep it down, needle dick!
629
00:37:04,657 --> 00:37:07,399
Show's what you know!
630
00:37:08,269 --> 00:37:10,532
I made a baby.
631
00:37:11,316 --> 00:37:13,361
Yeah!
632
00:37:13,753 --> 00:37:15,102
Greg!
633
00:37:16,146 --> 00:37:17,713
I love you!
634
00:37:21,543 --> 00:37:25,243
I didn't know I married
a handyman. I'm impressed.
635
00:37:25,286 --> 00:37:26,983
I subscribe to
Time Lifebooks.
636
00:37:27,027 --> 00:37:29,072
Shit.
637
00:37:30,726 --> 00:37:34,077
Yup. There's a rat behind
that there wall. You hear 'im?
638
00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:38,647
Yeah.
639
00:37:38,691 --> 00:37:40,910
Jesus!
640
00:37:40,954 --> 00:37:43,696
God! Now what are you doing?
641
00:37:43,739 --> 00:37:45,567
Oh!
642
00:37:46,742 --> 00:37:49,092
It might smell for a while.
643
00:37:49,136 --> 00:37:51,356
But you'll get used to it.
644
00:37:51,399 --> 00:37:53,793
I actually like
the smell, myself.
645
00:37:57,231 --> 00:37:58,276
Ugh!
646
00:38:00,016 --> 00:38:01,801
Oh! Ow!
647
00:38:01,844 --> 00:38:03,933
Oh, God. Shit.
648
00:38:03,977 --> 00:38:05,718
Oh, shit.
649
00:38:07,502 --> 00:38:09,722
Oh, no. Oh, no!
650
00:38:21,908 --> 00:38:24,432
This is so that I can give
the baby baths.
651
00:38:24,476 --> 00:38:27,653
Since I can't breastfeed him,
I might as well be able
to give him baths.
652
00:38:27,696 --> 00:38:28,915
Uh, him?
653
00:38:29,872 --> 00:38:31,831
Her, it.
654
00:38:31,874 --> 00:38:34,529
I don't care what we have,
as long as it's healthy.
655
00:38:34,573 --> 00:38:38,098
As long as it's healthy
and it doesn't bark.
656
00:38:38,141 --> 00:38:41,536
As long as it's healthy,
doesn't bark or have three
sixes hidden on his scalp.
657
00:38:44,147 --> 00:38:45,410
All right!
658
00:38:54,244 --> 00:38:56,725
Honey?
Yeah?
659
00:38:56,769 --> 00:38:59,728
Can I ask you something?
Yeah, sure, sweetheart.
660
00:38:59,772 --> 00:39:01,643
Well, uh...
661
00:39:01,687 --> 00:39:05,908
Would be all right if
my mother came and stayed
with us for a little while?
662
00:39:10,609 --> 00:39:11,871
Sure.
Really?
663
00:39:11,914 --> 00:39:13,220
Really?Sure, sure.
664
00:39:13,263 --> 00:39:14,439
Oh, honey, that'd be
so great, you know.
665
00:39:14,482 --> 00:39:16,136
We don't know anything
about babies and...
666
00:39:16,179 --> 00:39:18,007
And she would be
so happy if she could
really help us out.
667
00:39:18,051 --> 00:39:20,619
Oh, jeez, honey.
Okay, sweetie.
Don't cry. Don't...
668
00:39:20,662 --> 00:39:22,011
Newlyweds.
669
00:39:22,795 --> 00:39:25,928
Expecting. How nice.
670
00:39:25,972 --> 00:39:28,104
Did you bring
your checkbook?
671
00:40:16,501 --> 00:40:17,676
Mother!
672
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:21,767
Oh, Mommy.
Come hug me.
673
00:40:21,810 --> 00:40:24,465
Oh, get up here.
674
00:40:24,509 --> 00:40:26,511
Oh. It's you and me, kid.
675
00:40:26,554 --> 00:40:28,600
We're gonna be the best
friends in the whole world.
676
00:40:28,643 --> 00:40:30,384
All right, come on in.
Oh!
677
00:40:30,428 --> 00:40:32,778
Here, honey.
Look at this!
678
00:40:40,829 --> 00:40:42,178
Sure, sure!
679
00:40:45,443 --> 00:40:47,532
Is it open?
Yeah. Here we go.
680
00:40:48,837 --> 00:40:49,969
Yeah.
681
00:40:50,012 --> 00:40:51,361
Sweetheart?
682
00:40:58,194 --> 00:40:59,500
Sweetheart?
683
00:41:03,069 --> 00:41:04,157
Mom?
684
00:41:15,255 --> 00:41:18,388
Everything looks just fine.
Any day now.
685
00:41:27,572 --> 00:41:28,747
Evelyn?
686
00:41:45,285 --> 00:41:46,808
You don't worry,
Billie, now.
687
00:41:46,852 --> 00:41:49,985
Many first pregnancies
are a week or two late.
688
00:41:50,029 --> 00:41:51,421
Everything's fine.
689
00:42:24,454 --> 00:42:25,455
Oh.
690
00:42:34,029 --> 00:42:35,074
Oh.
691
00:42:44,692 --> 00:42:46,085
Mom?
692
00:42:46,694 --> 00:42:47,782
Mom?
693
00:42:47,826 --> 00:42:49,218
Yes, honey?
694
00:42:49,262 --> 00:42:52,134
Ma, is this what it's
like when my water breaks?
695
00:42:55,485 --> 00:42:56,574
What?
696
00:42:56,617 --> 00:42:59,141
What did she say?
697
00:42:59,185 --> 00:43:00,360
Honey?
698
00:43:01,883 --> 00:43:04,059
I just don't think
we ought to take any chances.
699
00:43:06,975 --> 00:43:08,542
Sweetheart?
700
00:43:08,586 --> 00:43:11,197
Did she say her
water broke?
701
00:43:17,029 --> 00:43:19,161
That's great.
702
00:43:19,205 --> 00:43:21,033
Why didn't she tell me?
703
00:43:21,990 --> 00:43:23,165
Honey?
704
00:43:30,172 --> 00:43:31,521
Sweetheart?
705
00:43:37,353 --> 00:43:40,400
No! No! Wait!
706
00:43:40,443 --> 00:43:42,315
Wait, you forgot me!
707
00:43:42,358 --> 00:43:43,490
Wait, you forgot me!
708
00:43:45,187 --> 00:43:46,188
You forgot me!
709
00:43:46,885 --> 00:43:47,973
Wait!
710
00:43:50,845 --> 00:43:51,890
Wait!
711
00:43:53,108 --> 00:43:54,501
Honey!
712
00:43:54,544 --> 00:43:55,937
You forgot me!
713
00:43:55,981 --> 00:43:58,853
I'm trying
to sleep, peckerwood!Wait!
714
00:44:06,905 --> 00:44:08,863
I'll be right here.
Hey!
715
00:44:08,907 --> 00:44:10,778
Yeah, yeah. Greg?
716
00:44:10,822 --> 00:44:14,042
Mom was just going to get you.
How did you get here?
717
00:44:14,086 --> 00:44:16,044
Why didn't you...
718
00:44:16,088 --> 00:44:18,743
Why didn't you tell me?
Oh, Greg, I'm sorry.
719
00:44:18,786 --> 00:44:20,570
I guess I just
wasn't thinking.
720
00:44:20,614 --> 00:44:23,748
Sir, you don't look well.
Would you like to
see a doctor?
721
00:44:23,791 --> 00:44:25,924
Evelyn, why did you
leave without me?
722
00:44:25,967 --> 00:44:28,578
Oh, Greg, I think we're
about to have her baby.
723
00:44:28,622 --> 00:44:31,233
Okay, calm down. Calm down,
this is emotional time.
724
00:44:31,277 --> 00:44:32,365
Calm down.
725
00:44:32,408 --> 00:44:34,454
What are you doing
to my wife?
726
00:44:34,497 --> 00:44:37,718
Some meconium was found
in her water which could mean
the child is in trauma,
727
00:44:37,762 --> 00:44:40,590
so we're hooking her up
to a Pitocin drip
to induce labor.
728
00:44:40,634 --> 00:44:42,201
Oh, my God. No!
729
00:44:42,244 --> 00:44:44,464
It's quite normal, sir.
Here.
730
00:44:44,507 --> 00:44:45,595
Wait.
Greg, take this.
731
00:44:45,639 --> 00:44:47,162
Ice chips.
Oh, thank you.
732
00:44:47,206 --> 00:44:49,121
They're not for you, sir.
They're for your wife.
733
00:44:49,164 --> 00:44:50,600
Oh. Oh, right.
734
00:44:50,644 --> 00:44:52,385
I'm going to
go on home now.
735
00:44:52,428 --> 00:44:54,387
I don't want
to be in the way.Thank you, Mommy.
736
00:44:54,430 --> 00:44:56,302
We'll call you as soon as
we know something.
737
00:44:58,260 --> 00:45:00,567
You call me even if you
don't know something.
738
00:45:00,610 --> 00:45:02,917
Now, I want a report
every hour, on the hour.
739
00:45:02,961 --> 00:45:04,179
Yes, Mom.
740
00:45:04,223 --> 00:45:06,268
Here.
741
00:45:06,312 --> 00:45:08,706
Bye-bye, sweetheart,
bye-bye, sweetheart.
742
00:45:08,749 --> 00:45:10,708
Bye, Mommy. Bye.
Bye-bye.
743
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:12,927
God, what? Whoa!
744
00:45:14,363 --> 00:45:16,061
Stay in touch.
Yes, Mom.
745
00:45:16,104 --> 00:45:17,105
Goodnight.
746
00:45:19,978 --> 00:45:21,849
I'll be right back.
Thank you.
747
00:45:22,807 --> 00:45:26,724
Oh, honey, hi.
748
00:45:26,767 --> 00:45:29,465
Look, they just hooked me up.
See the digital readout?
749
00:45:29,509 --> 00:45:31,946
Oh, yeah.
That's the baby's
heart monitor.
750
00:45:31,990 --> 00:45:34,993
Oh. 160 beats per minute.
751
00:45:35,036 --> 00:45:38,170
It's kinda like mine.
Yeah, honey, I think so.
752
00:45:38,213 --> 00:45:39,737
And... And over here...
753
00:45:39,780 --> 00:45:41,782
It's the graph.
See that graph?
754
00:45:41,826 --> 00:45:45,133
Yeah.
See how it's almost
all the way at the top?
755
00:45:45,177 --> 00:45:47,483
That measures my
contractions.Oh.
756
00:45:47,527 --> 00:45:49,703
I can barely feel anything.
757
00:45:49,747 --> 00:45:52,619
Oh. Baby,
it's all downhill
from here.
758
00:45:52,662 --> 00:45:54,099
Yeah.
759
00:45:54,142 --> 00:45:56,841
Well, it's gonna be
a piece of cake.
760
00:45:58,712 --> 00:46:00,453
Do something. Do something!
761
00:46:00,496 --> 00:46:02,063
What? What should I do?
762
00:46:02,107 --> 00:46:03,978
I don't know. Breathe on me,
breathe on me, breathe on me.
763
00:46:08,853 --> 00:46:11,116
It's getting better.
Oh, good.
764
00:46:11,159 --> 00:46:13,205
Almost. Oh, my God.
It's getting better.
765
00:46:13,248 --> 00:46:16,338
Boy, those contractions,
they seem to be coming along
faster, a little stronger.
766
00:46:16,382 --> 00:46:19,080
No, shit. I want drugs.
Give me drugs. I want drugs!
767
00:46:19,124 --> 00:46:20,865
Honey, this
isn't like you at all.
768
00:46:20,908 --> 00:46:23,519
No!
769
00:46:23,563 --> 00:46:25,695
Didn't even
take one aspirin.
770
00:46:26,392 --> 00:46:28,655
Not one cup of coffee.
771
00:46:28,698 --> 00:46:31,266
I sat in
non-smoking areas...
772
00:46:31,310 --> 00:46:34,356
They just gave her
an injection, Evelyn.
773
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:36,402
Yeah.
She's doing a lot...
774
00:46:43,888 --> 00:46:45,672
Evelyn, I'll call you back.
775
00:46:45,715 --> 00:46:47,587
I was so good.
Wasn't I, Greg?
776
00:46:48,718 --> 00:46:51,634
Yeah, honey,
you were so good.
777
00:46:51,678 --> 00:46:54,507
Ow...
Jerry, look at the monitor.
778
00:46:56,901 --> 00:46:58,250
Jesus.
779
00:47:04,386 --> 00:47:06,519
Yes, sweetheart.
780
00:47:06,562 --> 00:47:08,738
You did so great.
781
00:47:08,782 --> 00:47:13,047
Yes, you did so great.
You didn't even take a Tums
when you had indigestion.
782
00:47:13,091 --> 00:47:14,832
I love you so much.
783
00:47:14,875 --> 00:47:16,964
I love you too, sweetheart.
784
00:47:17,008 --> 00:47:18,357
Loose wire.
785
00:47:19,053 --> 00:47:20,228
Oh.
786
00:47:20,272 --> 00:47:21,882
Oh.
What?
787
00:47:21,926 --> 00:47:24,798
Something's happening.
Do you feeling like
pushing, Billie?
788
00:47:24,842 --> 00:47:28,280
Evelyn, she's been in labor
for over 20 hours.
789
00:47:28,323 --> 00:47:30,282
She's been pushing
for the last four hours...
790
00:47:31,631 --> 00:47:34,112
I'm sorry. I tried to call
you, but I have...
791
00:47:35,417 --> 00:47:36,854
No, that's not true.
Fathers take a much more
792
00:47:36,897 --> 00:47:39,247
active role these days,
Evelyn.
793
00:47:41,119 --> 00:47:42,685
I...
794
00:47:42,729 --> 00:47:45,079
All right. I'll tell him.
795
00:47:49,344 --> 00:47:51,042
Jerry?
Hmm?
796
00:47:51,738 --> 00:47:53,740
Evelyn says...
797
00:47:53,783 --> 00:47:57,135
"Stop dicking around
and do a fucking C-Section
right this goddamn minute."
798
00:47:57,178 --> 00:47:59,398
Yes, I think she's right.
799
00:47:59,441 --> 00:48:00,616
Really?
800
00:48:01,966 --> 00:48:03,968
Evelyn, you were right.
Good going.
801
00:48:05,491 --> 00:48:06,622
Evelyn?
802
00:48:07,449 --> 00:48:09,016
You're doing great, honey.
803
00:48:09,364 --> 00:48:10,626
Scalpel?
804
00:48:12,715 --> 00:48:14,456
Is the baby out yet?
805
00:48:15,414 --> 00:48:17,720
Making the incision now.
806
00:48:17,764 --> 00:48:19,418
You didn't feel anything,
did you, Billie?
807
00:48:19,461 --> 00:48:20,636
No.
808
00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:21,899
Nothing.
809
00:48:33,127 --> 00:48:34,868
Hang in there, champ.
810
00:49:21,697 --> 00:49:23,438
You're doing great.
811
00:50:02,173 --> 00:50:03,609
Billie.
812
00:50:05,524 --> 00:50:06,742
Billie.
813
00:50:08,527 --> 00:50:10,007
We have a baby.
814
00:50:35,249 --> 00:50:37,208
What about Natasha?
815
00:50:37,251 --> 00:50:40,254
Oh, God forbid.
They killed our people.
816
00:50:42,691 --> 00:50:44,606
I don't like it.
817
00:50:47,653 --> 00:50:49,263
What about Sky?
818
00:50:49,307 --> 00:50:50,395
Sky?
819
00:50:51,961 --> 00:50:54,573
Like clouds?
820
00:50:54,616 --> 00:50:56,270
In the sky?
821
00:51:00,579 --> 00:51:02,972
What is she,
an Indian or something?
822
00:51:03,712 --> 00:51:05,453
Mom.
823
00:51:05,497 --> 00:51:07,760
It's short for Skyler.
824
00:51:10,284 --> 00:51:13,374
Well, why don't you just
call her Running Goose?
825
00:51:13,418 --> 00:51:16,508
Sky. Sky!
826
00:51:16,551 --> 00:51:18,336
What are you,
a hippie or something?
827
00:51:21,339 --> 00:51:23,558
Dad, what do you think?
828
00:51:23,602 --> 00:51:27,432
I think it's sweet
of you and Billie to ask,
but it's none of our business.
829
00:51:27,475 --> 00:51:29,434
We've already had our chance.
830
00:51:29,477 --> 00:51:33,133
And if you ask me, the names
Greg and Billie aren't exactly
works of genius.
831
00:51:33,177 --> 00:51:34,874
But since you ask...
832
00:51:34,917 --> 00:51:36,832
I like your first choice.
833
00:51:36,876 --> 00:51:37,877
Chloe.
834
00:51:39,226 --> 00:51:40,314
Okay.
835
00:51:41,141 --> 00:51:42,316
Chloe it is.
836
00:51:44,536 --> 00:51:47,191
I don't like it.
I don't like it, either.
837
00:51:48,844 --> 00:51:50,759
The folks got off okay.
838
00:51:53,197 --> 00:51:55,677
Where's my shorts?
839
00:51:56,765 --> 00:51:59,768
I'm going to give
the baby a bath.
840
00:51:59,812 --> 00:52:01,335
Where's my t-shirts?
841
00:52:01,379 --> 00:52:02,989
Where's my socks?
842
00:52:06,688 --> 00:52:08,342
- Look at this.
- Aw.
843
00:52:08,386 --> 00:52:11,780
And she loves this.
You love your bath,
don't you, sweetie?
844
00:52:11,824 --> 00:52:15,697
You love your grandma, too.
And your grandma loves you.
845
00:52:15,741 --> 00:52:18,178
She's so beautiful,
Mom.
846
00:52:21,790 --> 00:52:24,228
Has anybody seen
my t-shirts?
847
00:52:24,271 --> 00:52:25,968
Or my shorts?
848
00:52:26,012 --> 00:52:29,015
Or my socks, or my shoes,
or my pipe wrench?
849
00:52:29,058 --> 00:52:31,757
Well, your shorts and your
socks are in your top drawer
and, uh...
850
00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:34,716
Your shoes are in your
closet under the t-shirts
which are hung up.
851
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:36,065
And...
852
00:52:36,109 --> 00:52:38,285
Tools are
in the big cabinet.
853
00:52:39,286 --> 00:52:41,506
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
854
00:52:46,337 --> 00:52:48,077
I'll be right back.
855
00:52:49,253 --> 00:52:50,558
Greg?
856
00:52:50,602 --> 00:52:52,212
What's the matter?
857
00:52:55,433 --> 00:52:58,218
The house
is spotless and I can't
find a goddamn thing.
858
00:52:58,697 --> 00:53:00,655
Oh. Well...
859
00:53:00,699 --> 00:53:03,658
My mom got a little nervous
during my labor and...
860
00:53:03,702 --> 00:53:06,835
And when she gets nervous,
she... She does housework.
861
00:53:06,879 --> 00:53:09,273
She had ironed
my jock straps.She loves you.
862
00:53:09,316 --> 00:53:11,013
With spray starch.
863
00:53:11,057 --> 00:53:12,711
Oh.
864
00:53:12,754 --> 00:53:14,713
I thought I was the one
who was supposed to
give the baby baths.
865
00:53:14,756 --> 00:53:17,368
You'll give the baby
lots of baths, honey.
866
00:53:17,411 --> 00:53:19,283
But I was supposed to
give it its first bath.
867
00:53:19,326 --> 00:53:20,632
Oh, I know, I know.
868
00:53:20,675 --> 00:53:23,069
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Look, uh...
869
00:53:23,112 --> 00:53:25,985
Tonight. Tonight,
I'll express my milk,
870
00:53:26,028 --> 00:53:28,857
and you can give the baby
her first feeding.
871
00:53:28,901 --> 00:53:30,729
What do you say?
872
00:53:30,772 --> 00:53:32,818
Would you like to do that?
873
00:53:32,861 --> 00:53:34,428
Yeah.
874
00:53:34,472 --> 00:53:36,604
That'll be great. Okay?
Okay.
875
00:53:36,648 --> 00:53:38,563
I'm so sorry.
It's all right.
876
00:53:38,606 --> 00:53:40,565
I'm sorry. Okay?
It's all right. It's okay.
877
00:53:40,608 --> 00:53:41,609
It's over.
878
00:53:43,045 --> 00:53:44,351
I'm sorry.
879
00:53:57,451 --> 00:53:58,626
Darling?
880
00:53:59,801 --> 00:54:01,586
It's time.
881
00:54:01,629 --> 00:54:03,892
It's time?
What time is it?
882
00:54:05,329 --> 00:54:08,680
It's 2:45, darling.
Oh.
883
00:54:08,723 --> 00:54:10,377
I'm on my way,
sweetheart. Oh!
884
00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:14,729
I'm coming, honey.
885
00:54:14,773 --> 00:54:16,470
Daddy's coming. Oh!
886
00:54:16,514 --> 00:54:17,558
God!
887
00:54:17,602 --> 00:54:18,646
Oh!
888
00:54:19,343 --> 00:54:21,606
God! Oh, God!
889
00:54:23,216 --> 00:54:24,609
Daddy's coming, honey.
890
00:54:24,652 --> 00:54:26,175
Daddy's coming.
891
00:54:27,307 --> 00:54:29,657
Don't cry. No, no, no.
892
00:54:29,701 --> 00:54:32,094
It's okay.
Don't cry, sweetheart.
893
00:54:32,138 --> 00:54:35,141
You've got the whole world
at your feet. You do.
894
00:54:35,184 --> 00:54:37,056
You do. Oh, don't cry.
895
00:54:37,099 --> 00:54:38,362
Mommy made milk for you.
896
00:54:38,405 --> 00:54:40,146
She expressed milk for you.
897
00:54:40,189 --> 00:54:42,757
Here, honey. See?
Here's the milk.
898
00:54:42,801 --> 00:54:43,932
Oh, no!
899
00:54:43,976 --> 00:54:45,499
No, no, no!
900
00:54:45,543 --> 00:54:47,414
Don't cry. Here.
901
00:54:47,458 --> 00:54:49,373
Milk. Mmm.
902
00:54:49,416 --> 00:54:51,940
What's the matter?
What's the matter?
903
00:54:52,637 --> 00:54:54,508
You want it warm?
904
00:54:54,552 --> 00:54:56,336
Is that it?
You want it warm?
Okay.
905
00:54:56,380 --> 00:54:58,730
Here. Here.
You want it warm?
906
00:54:58,773 --> 00:55:01,254
No, here. Over here.
907
00:55:01,298 --> 00:55:03,169
There. This will do it.
908
00:55:03,212 --> 00:55:04,649
This is a lot quicker.
909
00:55:13,005 --> 00:55:14,572
Yes, it's okay.
910
00:55:14,615 --> 00:55:16,400
See? Daddy's got ya.
911
00:55:16,443 --> 00:55:18,053
Daddy's got it.
912
00:55:18,097 --> 00:55:20,926
You don't have to cry.
We'll show Mommy.
We'll show Mommy.
913
00:55:20,969 --> 00:55:22,144
Here, I'll test this, okay?
914
00:55:22,188 --> 00:55:24,364
I'll test it, it's okay.
Watch Daddy.
915
00:55:24,408 --> 00:55:25,974
Ooh, ooh!
916
00:55:26,018 --> 00:55:28,107
Oh, it's hot, hot.
Ice, ice, ice.
917
00:55:28,150 --> 00:55:30,239
No, no, no...
918
00:55:40,162 --> 00:55:42,077
Another time.
919
00:55:42,121 --> 00:55:44,515
I'm willing
to try something.
920
00:55:44,558 --> 00:55:46,343
I'm willing to
try something
if you are.
921
00:55:46,386 --> 00:55:48,388
Want to try it now?
922
00:55:48,432 --> 00:55:52,000
Now, look, you see? Look.
No, no, no, no, no.
923
00:55:53,785 --> 00:55:56,048
Look up here. See that?
See that?
924
00:55:56,091 --> 00:55:58,093
It's a lot smaller than
the real thing.
925
00:55:58,137 --> 00:55:59,530
But, I'm really proud of it.
926
00:55:59,573 --> 00:56:01,749
Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on. Come on.
927
00:56:01,793 --> 00:56:03,534
That's it.
928
00:56:03,577 --> 00:56:05,100
Ow! Argh!
929
00:56:05,144 --> 00:56:06,275
You bit me!
930
00:56:06,319 --> 00:56:08,060
What do you want?
931
00:56:08,103 --> 00:56:09,670
What do you want?
932
00:56:09,714 --> 00:56:11,411
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
933
00:56:11,455 --> 00:56:13,457
What do you want?
Don't cry.
934
00:56:13,500 --> 00:56:16,111
Mommy's here.
Mommy's here.
Mommy's here.
935
00:56:16,155 --> 00:56:18,505
Mommy's here.
Mommy's here.
Mommy's here.
936
00:56:18,549 --> 00:56:20,725
Yes, yes, it's okay.
937
00:56:20,768 --> 00:56:23,118
Mommy's here.
Poor baby.
938
00:56:23,162 --> 00:56:25,120
Poor baby,
Mommy's here.
939
00:56:40,397 --> 00:56:42,268
Greg!
940
00:56:46,054 --> 00:56:49,754
Now, I know exactly how much
of this to use.
941
00:56:50,668 --> 00:56:51,886
This much.
942
00:56:51,930 --> 00:56:54,454
And now I know
where to put it.
943
00:56:54,498 --> 00:56:56,456
I put it a little here.
944
00:56:56,500 --> 00:56:58,240
I put it a little here.
945
00:56:59,981 --> 00:57:01,809
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
946
00:57:07,249 --> 00:57:09,164
Mmm? Hmm.
947
00:57:13,517 --> 00:57:15,170
Excuse me, ladies
and gentlemen.
I hate to, um...
948
00:57:15,214 --> 00:57:16,955
I hate to interrupt this
wonderful meal we're having.
949
00:57:16,998 --> 00:57:19,000
And I think you'll agree,
it is a great meal.
950
00:57:19,044 --> 00:57:21,002
But we are not here
to eat, of course,
951
00:57:21,046 --> 00:57:22,830
we're here to, um,
honor someone
952
00:57:22,874 --> 00:57:25,224
with what you know
as the Hemisphere Award.
953
00:57:25,267 --> 00:57:28,532
The Hemisphere Award
was designed, of course,
to honor in some small way
954
00:57:28,575 --> 00:57:30,098
a distinguished
South Carolinian.
955
00:57:30,142 --> 00:57:33,406
And I think our honoree
tonight certainly
fills that bill.
956
00:57:33,450 --> 00:57:36,583
Please welcome and honor
Mr. Dirk Martin.
957
00:57:39,151 --> 00:57:41,980
I did it.
You told me I'd win!
958
00:57:42,023 --> 00:57:45,026
Dude.
It's not a competition.Oh.
959
00:57:49,378 --> 00:57:50,423
Yay!
960
00:57:54,732 --> 00:57:57,386
Whoa. Yeah.
961
00:57:58,213 --> 00:57:59,650
Darling?
962
00:57:59,693 --> 00:58:01,347
Wanna mess around?
963
00:58:02,914 --> 00:58:05,351
You're gonna start
exercising soon?
964
00:58:06,047 --> 00:58:07,788
You think I'm fat.
965
00:58:07,832 --> 00:58:09,486
I didn't say that.
966
00:58:09,529 --> 00:58:11,357
That's it, isn't it?
You think I'm fat.
967
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:13,315
You used to think
I was cute.
968
00:58:13,359 --> 00:58:14,534
You were.
969
00:58:14,578 --> 00:58:15,840
Now you're a little
overweight.
970
00:58:15,883 --> 00:58:17,755
I was just wondering
if you're gonna exercise,
971
00:58:17,798 --> 00:58:20,714
or if you plan on
following Bullwinkle in
the Thanksgiving Day Parade.
972
00:58:20,758 --> 00:58:23,238
How dare you.
I just had a baby.
Your baby.
973
00:58:23,282 --> 00:58:25,719
I'm still breastfeeding.
I'm at work part-time.
974
00:58:25,763 --> 00:58:29,375
And I'm staying up nights
and I'm exhausted 'cause
you won't do your part.
975
00:58:29,418 --> 00:58:31,377
My part?
Yes, your part.
976
00:58:31,420 --> 00:58:34,119
The baby rejects me. She wants
Mommy. What am I supposed to
do about that?
977
00:58:34,162 --> 00:58:36,425
Get up with me.
Make an effort
with my mother.
978
00:58:36,469 --> 00:58:39,428
You know what?
I think I'm doing more
than my share around here.
979
00:58:39,472 --> 00:58:41,343
I'm the one who brings home
the bacon in this household.
980
00:58:41,387 --> 00:58:43,171
I'm the one who has to
work with sleaze balls
981
00:58:43,215 --> 00:58:45,652
for the good of my family.
Don't lay that on us.
You just quit.
982
00:58:45,696 --> 00:58:47,611
I'm perfectly capable
of bringing home the bacon.
983
00:58:47,654 --> 00:58:51,528
Oh, that's great.
Spoken like a true realist.
984
00:58:51,571 --> 00:58:56,097
You're about the only doctor
on the planet earth that
qualifies for food stamps.
985
00:58:56,141 --> 00:58:57,882
I mean, I knew there was
such a thing as a bad doctor.
986
00:58:57,925 --> 00:58:59,274
Didn't know there was
such a thing as a poor doctor.
987
00:58:59,318 --> 00:59:00,841
Lucky me.
I had to marry both.
988
00:59:00,885 --> 00:59:03,540
Oh. There's your cue.
There's your cue.
989
00:59:03,583 --> 00:59:06,325
Roll over and play dead.
990
00:59:06,368 --> 00:59:08,022
What's that
supposed to mean?
991
00:59:08,066 --> 00:59:09,633
Well, every time
the baby cries,
992
00:59:09,676 --> 00:59:11,460
you either have work to do or
you act like you're in a coma.
993
00:59:14,551 --> 00:59:16,465
You don't have to
worry, dears.
I got her back to sleep.
994
00:59:29,609 --> 00:59:30,654
Greg?
995
00:59:32,177 --> 00:59:33,657
Let's make up.
996
00:59:34,658 --> 00:59:36,311
Let's be friends.
997
00:59:41,534 --> 00:59:42,709
Evelyn?
998
00:59:48,193 --> 00:59:49,411
Evelyn?
999
00:59:51,718 --> 00:59:54,808
Evelyn, I just came home
to get a quick baby fix.
1000
01:00:28,059 --> 01:00:31,671
She's reading her Bible? What happened to Mother Goose?
1001
01:00:33,325 --> 01:00:34,805
Wait a minute.
1002
01:00:38,547 --> 01:00:40,158
What's she doing?
1003
01:00:40,898 --> 01:00:42,421
Holy shit!
1004
01:00:42,464 --> 01:00:43,465
Wait!
1005
01:00:49,428 --> 01:00:52,257
In the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Ghost.
Amen.
1006
01:00:52,300 --> 01:00:54,215
Hi, Greg. Home so soon?
1007
01:01:03,224 --> 01:01:05,879
So this guy
comes into my office
and he says,
1008
01:01:05,923 --> 01:01:08,708
"Hey, Doc. You've
got to help me
with my kidleys."
1009
01:01:08,752 --> 01:01:10,536
And I said
"Kidleys?
1010
01:01:10,579 --> 01:01:11,885
"You mean kidneys,
don't you?"
1011
01:01:11,929 --> 01:01:13,539
And he says,
1012
01:01:13,582 --> 01:01:15,062
"I said kidleys,
diddle I?"
1013
01:01:30,991 --> 01:01:32,863
Hello, Greg.
1014
01:01:32,906 --> 01:01:34,473
I'd like to
see my wife.
1015
01:01:34,516 --> 01:01:36,910
Oh, Doctor
Parker isn't in
at the moment.
1016
01:01:36,954 --> 01:01:38,825
Well, can you tell me
where she is?
1017
01:01:38,869 --> 01:01:40,566
She's cheating on you!
1018
01:01:40,609 --> 01:01:42,916
She needs
some tender
lovin' care.
1019
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:44,613
She needs a good lay.
1020
01:01:44,657 --> 01:01:46,354
Look, you bitch. Tell
me where my wife is,
1021
01:01:46,398 --> 01:01:47,573
or I'll beat the
crap out of ya.
1022
01:01:53,579 --> 01:01:56,713
Oh, she's at
the Trustus Theater, silly.
1023
01:01:56,756 --> 01:01:58,627
She's auditioning
her comedy material.
1024
01:02:05,983 --> 01:02:07,506
You can't go
in there, buddy.
1025
01:02:08,637 --> 01:02:10,074
I'm looking
for my wife.
1026
01:02:13,991 --> 01:02:15,557
I said,
1027
01:02:15,601 --> 01:02:18,299
I'm looking
for my wife.
1028
01:02:18,343 --> 01:02:19,910
They're holding
auditions.
1029
01:02:19,953 --> 01:02:21,955
Nobody gets in.
Nobody!
1030
01:02:23,740 --> 01:02:26,046
Great, a fetus in
a fullback's body.
1031
01:02:29,789 --> 01:02:30,964
Wait a minute.
1032
01:02:32,618 --> 01:02:33,619
Argh.
1033
01:02:34,402 --> 01:02:35,403
Billie!
1034
01:02:42,541 --> 01:02:43,542
You know,
with all the flying
1035
01:02:43,585 --> 01:02:45,065
I'm doing
back and forth,
1036
01:02:45,109 --> 01:02:47,415
I'm practically
keeping the
airlines in business.
1037
01:02:48,808 --> 01:02:49,983
It's best
for everyone.
1038
01:02:50,027 --> 01:02:51,289
Mom, you know
that's not true.
1039
01:02:51,332 --> 01:02:53,204
Chloe loves you.
You're like
best friends.
1040
01:02:53,247 --> 01:02:54,945
I want her to grow
up around her grandma.
1041
01:02:54,988 --> 01:02:56,729
Well, then, you'll just
have to bring her
1042
01:02:56,773 --> 01:02:57,948
to visit me, won't you?
1043
01:02:58,905 --> 01:03:00,602
Billie, I cannot
imagine what
1044
01:03:00,646 --> 01:03:01,778
your father
would have done
1045
01:03:01,821 --> 01:03:03,127
if my mother had come
and stayed with us
1046
01:03:03,170 --> 01:03:04,650
right after we'd
been married.
1047
01:03:04,693 --> 01:03:07,348
It's just not right.
1048
01:03:07,392 --> 01:03:09,089
Besides, Frank
needs me, too,
you know.
1049
01:03:09,133 --> 01:03:10,134
Mom.
1050
01:03:10,743 --> 01:03:11,744
Greg loves you.
1051
01:03:12,919 --> 01:03:15,139
Billie, Greg loves me
because he has to.
1052
01:03:15,182 --> 01:03:17,228
I want him to
love me because
he wants to.
1053
01:03:25,845 --> 01:03:27,325
Wonder who
we'll get to help
with the baby.
1054
01:03:28,892 --> 01:03:31,111
You'll figure
something out.
Listen.
1055
01:03:34,767 --> 01:03:37,161
Your father and I
have made some
mistakes in our lives.
1056
01:03:40,294 --> 01:03:42,166
But the biggest
mistake we ever made,
1057
01:03:42,209 --> 01:03:43,558
was when we
stopped trying.
1058
01:03:46,126 --> 01:03:48,999
Oh, I wish I had
some special box
1059
01:03:49,042 --> 01:03:51,697
with all the wisdom
in the world in it I could
give you, honey.
1060
01:03:53,481 --> 01:03:55,266
But I know part of
growing up is
1061
01:03:55,309 --> 01:03:56,702
learning to make
your own mistakes.
1062
01:03:59,879 --> 01:04:02,577
But, you promise me
one thing, will you?
1063
01:04:05,885 --> 01:04:07,278
Don't ever
stop trying.
1064
01:04:08,670 --> 01:04:09,671
I promise, Mom.
1065
01:04:10,194 --> 01:04:12,022
I promise.
1066
01:04:12,065 --> 01:04:14,285
That's my baby.
That's my girl.
1067
01:04:19,116 --> 01:04:21,335
I got to pack
or I'm going to
miss that plane.
1068
01:04:22,989 --> 01:04:25,731
"Dearest Greg,
I wish there was
some way I could
1069
01:04:25,774 --> 01:04:28,038
"convey to you
how I really feel,
1070
01:04:28,081 --> 01:04:29,343
"and how sorry I am
1071
01:04:29,387 --> 01:04:30,779
"if for any reason
I offended you
1072
01:04:30,823 --> 01:04:34,000
"or overstepped
my boundaries
in any way.
1073
01:04:34,044 --> 01:04:36,350
"Chloe is my
first grandchild,
1074
01:04:36,394 --> 01:04:38,396
"and Billie,
my only daughter.
1075
01:04:38,439 --> 01:04:41,225
"This should be
a wonderful time
for all of us.
1076
01:04:41,268 --> 01:04:43,009
"Thank you for
loving my daughter.
1077
01:04:43,053 --> 01:04:45,664
"Thank you for
giving us a grandchild.
1078
01:04:45,707 --> 01:04:48,972
"And please forgive my
misplaced enthusiasm.
1079
01:04:49,015 --> 01:04:50,712
"With love, Evelyn."
1080
01:04:52,323 --> 01:04:54,238
Come on, pumpkin.
Come on, eat your eggie.
1081
01:04:55,979 --> 01:04:57,502
Eat your eggie for
Dad, Dad, Dad...
1082
01:04:57,545 --> 01:04:58,546
No!
1083
01:05:02,811 --> 01:05:03,812
What did you say?
1084
01:05:04,204 --> 01:05:05,205
No.
1085
01:05:06,728 --> 01:05:07,904
Billie.
1086
01:05:07,947 --> 01:05:09,079
Billie, Billie.
Come here.
1087
01:05:09,122 --> 01:05:10,210
What's the matter?
What's the matter?
1088
01:05:10,254 --> 01:05:12,038
Billie. She just said
her first word.
1089
01:05:12,734 --> 01:05:14,214
She said "no."
1090
01:05:14,258 --> 01:05:15,912
Oh, baby, that's
so wonderful.
1091
01:05:15,955 --> 01:05:17,217
Say it for Mommy.
Say it for Mommy.
1092
01:05:17,261 --> 01:05:18,697
Come on.
Say it again.Come on.
1093
01:05:18,740 --> 01:05:19,741
Say it for Mommy. No.
Say it again.
Say it again.
1094
01:05:19,785 --> 01:05:20,917
Can you say "no"?
1095
01:05:23,484 --> 01:05:26,879
Aw, she gave us
a raspberry.
1096
01:05:28,011 --> 01:05:29,273
Come on darling.Say no.
1097
01:05:29,316 --> 01:05:30,622
Say no.
Say no.
1098
01:05:30,665 --> 01:05:31,666
You can do it.No.
1099
01:05:33,103 --> 01:05:34,147
No.
1100
01:05:36,802 --> 01:05:39,109
Baby, we made her
from scratch
and she talked.
1101
01:05:39,152 --> 01:05:41,111
Yes, and
she said "no".
1102
01:05:41,154 --> 01:05:42,242
Aw.
1103
01:05:43,200 --> 01:05:44,244
No. No.
1104
01:05:44,288 --> 01:05:45,289
No.
1105
01:05:46,986 --> 01:05:48,596
No.
1106
01:05:48,640 --> 01:05:51,338
Come on, sweetheart.
You can say yes,
can't you?
1107
01:05:52,035 --> 01:05:53,471
No.
1108
01:05:53,514 --> 01:05:55,212
No. No. No.
1109
01:05:56,082 --> 01:05:57,170
No.
1110
01:05:57,214 --> 01:05:58,389
No. No.
1111
01:05:59,564 --> 01:06:00,695
No.
1112
01:06:00,739 --> 01:06:02,828
No. No!
1113
01:06:02,871 --> 01:06:05,178
Na, na, na.
1114
01:06:05,222 --> 01:06:08,268
You want someone
caring, loving,
1115
01:06:08,312 --> 01:06:10,879
responsible,
experienced.
1116
01:06:10,923 --> 01:06:13,665
A good cook,
doesn't mind cleaning,
1117
01:06:13,708 --> 01:06:16,450
drives a car
and can handle
emergency situations.
1118
01:06:18,104 --> 01:06:19,062
Yes.
1119
01:06:19,845 --> 01:06:21,455
In other words,
1120
01:06:21,499 --> 01:06:22,804
you need
a mother-in-law.
1121
01:06:23,762 --> 01:06:25,764
She left.
1122
01:06:25,807 --> 01:06:28,158
Just another minute,
just another second.
1123
01:06:28,201 --> 01:06:29,246
Two seconds.
1124
01:06:39,604 --> 01:06:41,084
Here, here, here.
It's okay.
1125
01:06:41,127 --> 01:06:42,650
It's okay.
1126
01:06:42,694 --> 01:06:45,740
It's okay, here.
Here's Mommy.Hold Mommy.
1127
01:06:48,395 --> 01:06:49,353
Oh, my God!
1128
01:07:12,202 --> 01:07:14,073
It's okay.
It's okay.
1129
01:07:14,117 --> 01:07:16,728
It's okay.
It's okay.
1130
01:07:24,866 --> 01:07:26,520
Dr. Parker, your patient will be arriving
1131
01:07:26,564 --> 01:07:27,826
fifteen minutes late.
1132
01:07:29,523 --> 01:07:32,222
- Hoskins Public Relations.
- May I help you?
1133
01:07:36,878 --> 01:07:38,315
Can you do that?
1134
01:07:38,358 --> 01:07:40,360
Billie, there's no
film in the camera.
1135
01:07:40,404 --> 01:07:42,536
There's no film
in the camera.
There's no cake.
1136
01:07:42,580 --> 01:07:43,885
You were supposed
to get the film.
1137
01:07:43,929 --> 01:07:45,017
You were supposed
to get the cake.No, no, no.
1138
01:07:45,061 --> 01:07:46,540
You were supposed
to get the film.No.
1139
01:07:46,584 --> 01:07:48,064
And you were supposed
to get the cake.Oh. No, no, no.
1140
01:07:48,107 --> 01:07:49,282
I got the clown,
the party favors
and the decorations.
1141
01:07:52,372 --> 01:07:54,679
Doesn't that just
suck the big one?
1142
01:07:56,072 --> 01:07:57,725
Suck the big one.
1143
01:08:35,850 --> 01:08:38,114
Mama, when's
Santa coming?
1144
01:08:41,900 --> 01:08:43,249
Merry Christmas.
1145
01:08:44,424 --> 01:08:46,470
Ho, ho, ho.
1146
01:08:46,513 --> 01:08:48,211
Who is that?
Merry Christmas!
1147
01:08:48,254 --> 01:08:49,386
Ooh!
No.
1148
01:08:49,429 --> 01:08:50,517
Oi.
1149
01:08:50,561 --> 01:08:53,041
Oi, I'm stuck.
Billie, I'm stuck.
1150
01:08:53,390 --> 01:08:54,347
Santa!
1151
01:08:56,132 --> 01:08:57,742
Ho. Ho. Ho.
1152
01:08:57,785 --> 01:08:59,700
Miss, I'm stuck
could you help?
1153
01:08:59,744 --> 01:09:01,311
Okay, I'll be
right there.
1154
01:09:01,354 --> 01:09:02,529
Santa's stuck.
1155
01:09:02,573 --> 01:09:04,140
Ho. Ho. Ho. Ho.
1156
01:09:06,142 --> 01:09:07,621
Mommy.
1157
01:09:09,754 --> 01:09:11,234
What's the matter,
little girl?
1158
01:09:11,277 --> 01:09:13,149
Ooh!
It's okay.
1159
01:09:13,192 --> 01:09:14,976
Chloe...
It's okay.Merry Christmas.
1160
01:09:15,020 --> 01:09:16,152
It's only
Santa, honey.
1161
01:09:16,195 --> 01:09:17,544
Hurry up,
will you?I'm trying.
1162
01:09:17,588 --> 01:09:19,067
Mommy.
1163
01:09:19,981 --> 01:09:22,158
Please don't cry.
1164
01:09:22,201 --> 01:09:23,985
No, you don't have
to be afraid.
1165
01:09:24,029 --> 01:09:25,030
Look.
1166
01:09:26,292 --> 01:09:27,424
It's just Daddy.
1167
01:09:29,034 --> 01:09:30,035
Greg.
1168
01:09:30,818 --> 01:09:32,690
Argh!
1169
01:09:32,733 --> 01:09:37,651
Baby toys,
clothes, $198,
$65, baby outfit.
1170
01:09:37,695 --> 01:09:41,089
Thirty-one and...
Popples slippers?
1171
01:09:41,133 --> 01:09:42,178
Care Bear nightwear.
1172
01:09:42,221 --> 01:09:44,789
My Little Pony...
My God...
1173
01:09:44,832 --> 01:09:48,096
Where do you shop?
Cartoon land for
sucker parents?
1174
01:09:48,140 --> 01:09:50,447
What happened to sales?
What happened to discounts?
1175
01:09:50,490 --> 01:09:51,622
What happened to sanity?
1176
01:09:53,276 --> 01:09:55,060
I'm doing the best
that I can.
1177
01:09:55,103 --> 01:09:56,975
If you don't
like it,
1178
01:09:57,018 --> 01:09:58,019
you do the shopping.
1179
01:09:59,760 --> 01:10:01,501
Fine. I will.
1180
01:10:04,287 --> 01:10:07,638
I don't suppose
you bother checking
sizes or gender?
1181
01:10:11,076 --> 01:10:12,164
These are lovely.
1182
01:10:13,426 --> 01:10:14,558
She's never
eaten a marble.
1183
01:10:16,037 --> 01:10:17,038
She might like that.
1184
01:10:18,214 --> 01:10:19,650
Let's see.
1185
01:10:19,693 --> 01:10:20,955
You want a live-in,
1186
01:10:20,999 --> 01:10:22,914
must be good
with babies.
1187
01:10:22,957 --> 01:10:24,350
Must have
experience.
1188
01:10:24,394 --> 01:10:26,483
Must cook,
must drive.
1189
01:10:26,526 --> 01:10:27,484
Must speak English.
1190
01:10:28,615 --> 01:10:30,051
Seventy-five dollars
a week.
1191
01:10:31,705 --> 01:10:32,837
Hey, buddy.
1192
01:10:32,880 --> 01:10:34,230
You don't need a nanny.
1193
01:10:34,273 --> 01:10:35,318
You need a wife.
1194
01:10:38,146 --> 01:10:40,236
How did this ever
happen to me?
1195
01:10:42,107 --> 01:10:44,979
♪ He's a man
He's a boy
He's Brahma
1196
01:10:45,023 --> 01:10:46,024
♪ Brahma
1197
01:10:46,546 --> 01:10:48,287
Yeah, yeah.
1198
01:10:49,462 --> 01:10:50,507
Whoo-hoo.
1199
01:10:50,550 --> 01:10:52,378
Yeah, give it
to me, baby.
1200
01:10:54,075 --> 01:10:56,164
Yeah.
Let's party.
1201
01:10:56,208 --> 01:10:57,209
♪ That's no more ♪
1202
01:11:00,517 --> 01:11:01,474
Yeah.
1203
01:11:08,046 --> 01:11:09,700
Hey! Fun man.
Come here.
1204
01:11:09,743 --> 01:11:11,745
You almost
missed the party!
1205
01:11:11,789 --> 01:11:13,269
Dirk.
1206
01:11:13,312 --> 01:11:16,184
You have an interview
with Time Magazine
in 15 minutes.
1207
01:11:17,098 --> 01:11:18,752
Time Magazine!
1208
01:11:18,796 --> 01:11:20,014
Relax.
1209
01:11:20,058 --> 01:11:22,408
Check out some
of the chicks.
1210
01:11:29,459 --> 01:11:30,416
Hey.
1211
01:11:32,113 --> 01:11:33,114
Want to get high?
1212
01:11:36,379 --> 01:11:39,120
Greg, my man,
go for it!
1213
01:11:39,164 --> 01:11:40,861
Actually whenever,
I want to get
inebriated,
1214
01:11:40,905 --> 01:11:41,906
I hyperventilate.
1215
01:11:44,909 --> 01:11:46,302
Make love to me.
1216
01:11:52,046 --> 01:11:53,352
I think I'm
hyperventilating.
1217
01:11:55,876 --> 01:11:57,225
Please.
1218
01:11:57,269 --> 01:12:00,141
Oh, my God.
What am I doing?
1219
01:12:00,185 --> 01:12:01,491
Stop it.
1220
01:12:01,534 --> 01:12:03,188
Greg, you're a happily
married man.
1221
01:12:05,495 --> 01:12:07,584
I'm sorry, miss.
1222
01:12:07,627 --> 01:12:09,281
I'm a happily
married man.
1223
01:12:10,500 --> 01:12:12,153
You don't
look so happy.
1224
01:12:14,330 --> 01:12:15,331
She's right.
1225
01:12:16,027 --> 01:12:17,028
I don't look so happy.
1226
01:12:17,985 --> 01:12:19,160
I don't feel so happy.
1227
01:12:20,292 --> 01:12:22,425
Well, I feel happy now.
1228
01:12:22,468 --> 01:12:25,297
You know, a lot of
people cheat.
1229
01:12:25,341 --> 01:12:26,951
Good people cheat.
1230
01:12:26,994 --> 01:12:27,952
Intelligent people.
1231
01:12:29,040 --> 01:12:31,738
Ah, look at that
nubile body.
1232
01:12:32,783 --> 01:12:34,654
Wait a minute.
1233
01:12:34,698 --> 01:12:36,613
What's going on here?
1234
01:12:36,656 --> 01:12:38,876
Brain to conscience.
Brain to conscience.
1235
01:12:38,919 --> 01:12:40,486
Mayday. Mayday.
1236
01:12:40,530 --> 01:12:41,574
Bypass lust.
1237
01:12:41,618 --> 01:12:43,010
Speak to me.
Speak to me.
1238
01:12:43,750 --> 01:12:44,838
Oh, my God.
1239
01:12:44,882 --> 01:12:46,666
What am I doing down there?
1240
01:12:46,710 --> 01:12:49,626
Come on, Greg.
Do the nasty.
1241
01:12:49,669 --> 01:12:50,801
Jump her bones.
1242
01:12:50,844 --> 01:12:52,846
Do the wild thing.
1243
01:12:52,890 --> 01:12:54,631
Real commitment.
1244
01:12:54,674 --> 01:12:56,154
True partnership.
1245
01:12:56,197 --> 01:12:58,896
What a crock of
male bullshit.
1246
01:12:58,939 --> 01:13:00,027
This is your chance.
1247
01:13:00,071 --> 01:13:01,681
I dare you.
1248
01:13:01,725 --> 01:13:03,466
Come on, show your
true colors.
1249
01:13:03,509 --> 01:13:05,729
Do the wild thing.
1250
01:13:13,911 --> 01:13:15,478
Thanks, miss.
1251
01:13:15,913 --> 01:13:16,914
No.
1252
01:13:17,393 --> 01:13:18,394
No, thanks.
1253
01:13:26,358 --> 01:13:29,535
Being a doctor,
I usually tell jokes
by appointment only.
1254
01:13:31,015 --> 01:13:33,496
Who says
the appendix is
a useless organ?
1255
01:13:33,539 --> 01:13:34,845
It's made lots
of doctors rich.
1256
01:13:36,847 --> 01:13:39,415
But not me, of course,
because I'll be paying off
my med school loan
1257
01:13:39,458 --> 01:13:41,591
for the next
30 or 40 years.
1258
01:13:41,634 --> 01:13:43,419
I want to leave you
with this thought.
1259
01:13:43,462 --> 01:13:45,943
Maybe, I'm just
no good, but,
what the heck?
1260
01:13:45,986 --> 01:13:47,901
Where else are you
going to get anesthesia
this cheap?
1261
01:13:50,469 --> 01:13:51,688
Oh. No, no, no.
1262
01:13:51,731 --> 01:13:53,733
Cut it out.
1263
01:13:53,777 --> 01:13:57,476
Let's hear it for
Dr. Billie Parker.
1264
01:13:57,520 --> 01:13:59,260
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
1265
01:14:05,049 --> 01:14:06,485
Thank you.
1266
01:14:08,835 --> 01:14:10,446
Thank you for
indulging me.
1267
01:14:15,015 --> 01:14:16,669
Thank you very much.
You've been great. Whoo!
1268
01:14:22,327 --> 01:14:24,372
They sort of liked me.
Can you believe it?
1269
01:14:25,243 --> 01:14:26,549
You were very funny.
1270
01:14:26,592 --> 01:14:28,072
This is like
a dream come true.
1271
01:14:28,115 --> 01:14:29,552
This is like what
we talked about on
our first date!
1272
01:14:29,595 --> 01:14:30,727
Oh. Can you
believe it?
1273
01:14:31,902 --> 01:14:32,990
Yes.
1274
01:14:33,033 --> 01:14:34,034
I can believe it.
1275
01:14:35,427 --> 01:14:36,820
I've never seen
you drink before.
1276
01:14:38,822 --> 01:14:41,607
I've never seen you
on stage before.
1277
01:14:41,651 --> 01:14:42,956
How do I look?
1278
01:14:44,088 --> 01:14:45,611
You look fine.
Really?
1279
01:14:45,655 --> 01:14:47,483
Really, you
don't think I need
a face-lift.
1280
01:14:47,526 --> 01:14:49,485
You know, get rid of
my wrinkles now that
I'm in showbiz?
1281
01:14:54,925 --> 01:14:56,883
Sure.
1282
01:14:56,927 --> 01:14:58,624
Maybe while you're at it,
you can get a tummy tuck.
1283
01:14:59,364 --> 01:15:00,844
Maybe a heinie hoist.
1284
01:15:00,887 --> 01:15:04,151
Don't forget some
silicone in the old
boobies for dada.
1285
01:15:04,195 --> 01:15:06,153
I mean,
now that you're
in show business,
1286
01:15:06,197 --> 01:15:08,678
you don't want
to look like a
Ubangi mother of 12.
1287
01:15:08,721 --> 01:15:09,722
What is your problem?
1288
01:15:13,334 --> 01:15:14,684
I almost got
fired today.
1289
01:15:16,642 --> 01:15:18,862
I also got a letter in
the mail apprising me
1290
01:15:18,905 --> 01:15:20,516
that there have been
three cases of head lice
1291
01:15:20,559 --> 01:15:22,213
at our daughter's
day care center.
1292
01:15:22,256 --> 01:15:23,867
Well, that's
very common.
1293
01:15:23,910 --> 01:15:26,217
"It's very common."
1294
01:15:26,260 --> 01:15:29,525
It's very common
in the swamps
of Louisiana.
1295
01:15:29,568 --> 01:15:31,875
It's very
common in third
world countries.
1296
01:15:31,918 --> 01:15:33,180
Keep your voice
down, please.
1297
01:15:33,224 --> 01:15:35,269
It's very common in
the cocaine fields
of Bogota.
1298
01:15:35,313 --> 01:15:37,707
It's very common
among the Shiites of
West Beirut.
1299
01:15:37,750 --> 01:15:40,231
It's very common
among the inmates of
Folsom Prison.
1300
01:15:40,274 --> 01:15:41,493
Hey keep it
down, buddy.
1301
01:15:41,537 --> 01:15:43,277
And I'm sure it's
pretty common to him.
1302
01:15:43,321 --> 01:15:45,497
But we're talking
about head lice
1303
01:15:45,541 --> 01:15:47,020
on our little
baby girl.
1304
01:15:47,064 --> 01:15:48,108
Okay, buddy, you
have some...
1305
01:15:48,152 --> 01:15:49,588
Now wait, Biff,
come on, come on.
1306
01:15:49,632 --> 01:15:51,590
Come on you guys,
really. I'm going to
take him home now.
1307
01:15:51,634 --> 01:15:53,113
Just, everything's
all right.
1308
01:15:53,157 --> 01:15:54,245
We have another
mouth to feed!
1309
01:15:54,288 --> 01:15:56,247
We have another
brain to educate.
1310
01:15:56,290 --> 01:15:57,814
We have a life
to take care of!
1311
01:15:57,857 --> 01:15:59,859
We lost our freedom.
I wasn't ready for this,
goddammit.
1312
01:15:59,903 --> 01:16:02,166
Calm down,
let's talk about it.
1313
01:16:02,209 --> 01:16:03,733
I've lost track
of my wife.
1314
01:16:03,776 --> 01:16:05,822
I don't remember
why we fell in love.
1315
01:16:05,865 --> 01:16:07,345
We're strangers.
1316
01:16:07,388 --> 01:16:10,000
I don't remember
what it's like to
be alone with you.
1317
01:16:10,043 --> 01:16:12,393
Darling, calm down.
This is all fixable.
1318
01:16:12,437 --> 01:16:13,786
What would
make you happy?
1319
01:16:14,482 --> 01:16:15,571
Happy?
1320
01:16:16,659 --> 01:16:18,486
I want to be in
love again.
1321
01:16:18,530 --> 01:16:20,271
I want to feel
in love again.
1322
01:16:20,314 --> 01:16:21,751
I want to...
I want to feel...
1323
01:16:23,753 --> 01:16:25,232
I wanna feel creative.
1324
01:16:25,276 --> 01:16:27,800
I mean, you're doing
your stupid comedy shit.
1325
01:16:27,844 --> 01:16:29,454
I want to feel
hopeful again.
1326
01:16:29,497 --> 01:16:30,498
Do you hear something?
1327
01:16:30,977 --> 01:16:32,196
No.
1328
01:16:32,239 --> 01:16:33,763
Better go
check the baby.
1329
01:16:33,806 --> 01:16:36,592
God. I can't even
have a fucking
conversation with you.
1330
01:16:36,635 --> 01:16:38,811
Darling, calm down.
I'll be back
in two minutes.
1331
01:16:50,997 --> 01:16:52,129
Greg?
1332
01:16:52,172 --> 01:16:53,391
What?
1333
01:16:53,434 --> 01:16:54,435
Greg?
1334
01:16:55,175 --> 01:16:56,176
Greg!
1335
01:16:59,397 --> 01:17:01,878
Greg, get up here!
1336
01:17:01,921 --> 01:17:03,575
Oh my God, Greg.
I don't think
she's breathing.
1337
01:17:03,619 --> 01:17:05,185
I don't think
she's breathing,
you see?
1338
01:17:05,229 --> 01:17:06,883
You see, oh my baby!
1339
01:17:06,926 --> 01:17:10,538
My baby Chloe.
My little baby. Oh, God.
No. Please.
1340
01:17:11,278 --> 01:17:13,063
Please my baby, please.
1341
01:17:13,106 --> 01:17:15,500
Oh God!
Oh, my Chloe.
1342
01:17:15,543 --> 01:17:16,675
Oh.
1343
01:17:16,719 --> 01:17:20,113
Oh, honey. Oh, God.
Thank God.
1344
01:17:21,593 --> 01:17:25,379
Oh, baby.
Yes, yes.
1345
01:17:25,423 --> 01:17:26,946
Come here.
Huh.
1346
01:17:28,861 --> 01:17:29,949
Oh, my baby.
1347
01:17:32,822 --> 01:17:34,258
Oh, I love you.
1348
01:17:37,435 --> 01:17:38,436
I love you.
1349
01:17:43,006 --> 01:17:44,616
Good morning, everyone.
1350
01:17:44,660 --> 01:17:47,880
You're listening
to CRDS, Columbia's
all talk radio.
1351
01:17:47,924 --> 01:17:50,056
The big news today
is that the state
climatologist
1352
01:17:50,100 --> 01:17:51,797
says there is a 50% chance
1353
01:17:51,841 --> 01:17:54,452
that snow could reach
the Columbia area by
this time tomorrow.
1354
01:17:54,495 --> 01:17:56,367
Our first snow in two years.
1355
01:17:56,410 --> 01:17:58,108
I'll tell you
whenever it
gets like this,
1356
01:17:58,151 --> 01:17:59,500
it always makes
me want to
1357
01:17:59,544 --> 01:18:01,764
get out the baseball
and throw it around a bit.
1358
01:18:01,807 --> 01:18:03,940
It going to be a
beautiful day today.
1359
01:18:03,983 --> 01:18:06,769
The state climatologist
says temperatures should
reach the low to mid 80's
1360
01:18:06,812 --> 01:18:08,945
with absolutely
no chance of rain.
1361
01:18:08,988 --> 01:18:11,295
Local events you might
want to take advantage
of this week,
1362
01:18:11,338 --> 01:18:13,906
Don Portnoy and the
University of South
Carolina Orchestra
1363
01:18:13,950 --> 01:18:16,387
will be performing
at the Koger Center
on Wednesday.
1364
01:18:16,430 --> 01:18:18,563
The Columbia Mets play
Spartanburg tonight
at 8:00.
1365
01:18:18,606 --> 01:18:20,957
And you might want to
check out the state fair.
1366
01:18:21,000 --> 01:18:22,959
You'll find me
in the swine pavilion.
1367
01:18:23,002 --> 01:18:25,744
I want to know firsthand
where our delicious
barbeque is coming from.
1368
01:18:25,788 --> 01:18:28,399
The heat and smell of that
pavilion always makes me
want to...
1369
01:18:28,442 --> 01:18:30,575
Bring an umbrella.
The state climatologist says
1370
01:18:30,618 --> 01:18:34,187
there is a 75% chance
of thunder storms
throughout the day.
1371
01:18:34,231 --> 01:18:36,929
Turning to national news,
disaster has struck again.
1372
01:18:36,973 --> 01:18:40,063
A school bus, carrying
35 children collided with
a freight train
1373
01:18:40,106 --> 01:18:42,152
outside Fort Worth,
Texas in this morning.
1374
01:18:42,195 --> 01:18:45,198
So far there is no
report on the number
of fatalities.
1375
01:18:45,242 --> 01:18:47,940
There was another drive-by
shooting in Los Angeles
last night.
1376
01:18:47,984 --> 01:18:49,855
Three innocent people
were killed
1377
01:18:49,899 --> 01:18:52,597
when gang members opened
fire in front of a crowded
movie theater.
1378
01:18:52,640 --> 01:18:54,251
Nineteen people
are known dead
1379
01:18:54,294 --> 01:18:56,079
in the latest
bombing attack in
a small marketplace
1380
01:18:56,122 --> 01:18:57,341
outside of Beirut.
1381
01:18:57,384 --> 01:18:59,212
So far, three different
terrorist groups
1382
01:18:59,256 --> 01:19:00,910
have claimed responsibility
for the bombing.
1383
01:19:00,953 --> 01:19:02,868
I'll call you back.
1384
01:19:02,912 --> 01:19:04,870
Greg, you look angry.
What's the matter?
Something wrong?
1385
01:19:04,914 --> 01:19:07,307
Mr. Hoskins,
I've spent more time
1386
01:19:08,656 --> 01:19:10,267
with an untalented,
1387
01:19:10,310 --> 01:19:12,269
overpaid,
1388
01:19:12,312 --> 01:19:13,270
drugged-out surfer,
1389
01:19:14,401 --> 01:19:15,707
than I have
with my family.
1390
01:19:20,712 --> 01:19:24,368
I brought a child
into a world
1391
01:19:24,411 --> 01:19:26,805
of impending
nuclear disaster
1392
01:19:26,849 --> 01:19:28,111
and my roof leaks.
1393
01:19:30,417 --> 01:19:31,723
I've spent more money
1394
01:19:31,767 --> 01:19:33,725
on my little girl's
pre-school
1395
01:19:33,769 --> 01:19:36,336
than I did on my entire
1396
01:19:36,380 --> 01:19:37,903
college tuition.
1397
01:19:39,818 --> 01:19:42,908
People are getting
sucked out of jet liners
at 20,000 feet.
1398
01:19:42,952 --> 01:19:45,781
Peanut butter
is unsaleable.
1399
01:19:45,824 --> 01:19:49,219
The fish in the
fucking sea are toxic!
1400
01:19:49,262 --> 01:19:51,264
There's lead in our
public drinking fountains.
1401
01:19:51,308 --> 01:19:54,354
I'm growing tits
from eating too
much chicken.
1402
01:19:54,398 --> 01:19:56,269
And my marriage
is falling apart!
1403
01:19:56,313 --> 01:19:57,488
Greg, calm down.
1404
01:19:57,531 --> 01:19:59,098
I think you're having
a nervous breakdown.
1405
01:19:59,142 --> 01:20:01,535
Yup, you're goddamn
right I'm having
a nervous breakdown!
1406
01:20:01,579 --> 01:20:04,451
Now, I want my vacation,
the one you owe me.
1407
01:20:04,495 --> 01:20:06,540
Two weeks,
starting today.
1408
01:20:06,584 --> 01:20:10,153
I'm taking my family to see
Michelangelo's David
whether you like it or not!
1409
01:20:12,459 --> 01:20:13,460
Fine.
1410
01:20:20,598 --> 01:20:21,860
Fine?
1411
01:20:22,948 --> 01:20:23,906
Fine?
1412
01:20:25,603 --> 01:20:27,735
Greg, this is showbiz.
1413
01:20:27,779 --> 01:20:30,086
Holler, scream,
act like a shit and
get what you want.
1414
01:20:31,043 --> 01:20:32,088
Brahma's been canceled.
1415
01:20:34,481 --> 01:20:35,482
Oh.
1416
01:20:37,267 --> 01:20:38,268
No.
1417
01:20:40,487 --> 01:20:42,663
Chloe, we won.
1418
01:20:42,707 --> 01:20:44,404
We're going.
We're going.
1419
01:20:44,448 --> 01:20:45,928
We won, honey.
1420
01:20:45,971 --> 01:20:47,799
We won, we won, we won.
1421
01:20:49,845 --> 01:20:51,455
I didn't say we were
moving to Italy.
1422
01:20:51,498 --> 01:20:53,065
It's a vacation,
not a garage sale.
1423
01:20:53,109 --> 01:20:54,371
What's in here,
for Christ's sake?
1424
01:20:54,414 --> 01:20:55,938
Greg, we're traveling
with a child.
1425
01:20:55,981 --> 01:20:57,461
A child. Not the
Vienna Boys Choir.
1426
01:20:57,504 --> 01:20:58,810
Then why are we
here so early?
1427
01:20:58,854 --> 01:21:00,420
It's good to
be early.
1428
01:21:00,464 --> 01:21:02,074
Yeah, but half the day,
Greg, isn't that
a wee bit anal?
1429
01:21:02,118 --> 01:21:04,033
If my anal area
is a wee bit tight,
1430
01:21:04,076 --> 01:21:06,557
it's because I'm carrying
enough luggage to give
Hulk Hogan a hernia.
1431
01:21:06,600 --> 01:21:08,298
I'm going to be Quasimodo
by the time we hit Rome
1432
01:21:08,341 --> 01:21:09,777
and you know
what it's like to
go through customs?
1433
01:21:09,821 --> 01:21:11,083
We might as well
be at the Circus Vargas!
1434
01:21:11,127 --> 01:21:12,258
Greg, stop.
1435
01:21:13,956 --> 01:21:14,913
Turn around.
1436
01:21:23,269 --> 01:21:24,270
Come here.
1437
01:21:25,750 --> 01:21:26,751
Come here.
1438
01:21:32,278 --> 01:21:33,845
Look at me.
Look in my eyes.
1439
01:21:35,499 --> 01:21:37,240
Calm down.
1440
01:21:37,283 --> 01:21:40,156
You're starting to
act like an old crab.
Now cut it out.
1441
01:21:40,199 --> 01:21:41,461
Look at my smile.
1442
01:21:44,987 --> 01:21:46,292
Look at our baby.
1443
01:21:48,860 --> 01:21:50,644
We're a family.
We're on vacation.
1444
01:21:50,688 --> 01:21:53,169
Come on. Let's try
and have a good time.
1445
01:22:03,396 --> 01:22:04,397
I'm sorry.
1446
01:22:14,364 --> 01:22:16,583
We would like
to welcome you aboard
US Air Flight 11...
1447
01:22:16,627 --> 01:22:17,976
Any pillows here?
1448
01:22:20,457 --> 01:22:22,154
- Pillow?
- I'd like one.
1449
01:22:23,068 --> 01:22:24,722
I want one, too.
1450
01:22:24,765 --> 01:22:26,115
Thank you.
There you go.
1451
01:22:26,158 --> 01:22:28,944
What do you say?
Thank you.
1452
01:22:28,987 --> 01:22:30,510
Tell me again, Daddy.
1453
01:22:30,554 --> 01:22:31,555
Oh. Okay.
1454
01:22:33,818 --> 01:22:37,343
We are flying all the way
to a place over here.
1455
01:22:37,387 --> 01:22:39,171
Okay?
It's called London.
1456
01:22:39,215 --> 01:22:40,607
Then we take
a little airplane
1457
01:22:40,651 --> 01:22:42,740
and we go to a
place called Rome.
1458
01:22:42,783 --> 01:22:45,395
Then we get
in a train. Okay?
1459
01:22:45,438 --> 01:22:48,789
And that train
goes all the way
into tunnels.
1460
01:22:48,833 --> 01:22:51,009
And then the mountains.
1461
01:22:51,053 --> 01:22:53,664
Then we end up in
a place called Florence.
1462
01:22:53,707 --> 01:22:55,666
And that's where we
are going to see
Michelangelo's David.
1463
01:22:56,841 --> 01:22:58,364
Give me five.
Give me five.
1464
01:23:00,976 --> 01:23:02,978
And we're going to
end up in a place
called Florence.
1465
01:23:03,021 --> 01:23:05,589
And it's going to be very
beautiful and that's where
we are going to see...
1466
01:23:05,632 --> 01:23:07,504
Honey, I want you
to hold that with
two hands.
1467
01:23:07,547 --> 01:23:10,942
'Cause if you spill
that on Daddy...I have to go potty.
1468
01:23:10,986 --> 01:23:13,075
So, why are
you telling me?
1469
01:23:13,118 --> 01:23:14,728
Mommy always takes
you potty, sweetheart.
1470
01:23:14,772 --> 01:23:16,382
I'll take you,
darling.
1471
01:23:16,426 --> 01:23:18,210
No, I want Daddy.
1472
01:23:18,602 --> 01:23:19,820
You do?
1473
01:23:20,604 --> 01:23:22,432
You want Daddy?
1474
01:23:22,475 --> 01:23:24,608
Daddy will take you potty.
I'll hold this.
1475
01:23:24,651 --> 01:23:26,914
Me and my girl.
1476
01:23:26,958 --> 01:23:28,351
Here we go, honey.
1477
01:23:28,394 --> 01:23:30,657
Put your arms around me.
Let's go potty.
1478
01:23:31,310 --> 01:23:32,877
And then...
1479
01:23:32,920 --> 01:23:35,184
We're gonna take
a train ride.
1480
01:23:35,227 --> 01:23:38,274
All the way to a
place called...Daddy?
1481
01:23:38,317 --> 01:23:40,624
I have to go potty.
1482
01:23:47,283 --> 01:23:48,240
Okay.
1483
01:23:49,633 --> 01:23:53,245
Put your arms around Daddy.
Let's go potty.
1484
01:23:56,727 --> 01:23:58,120
And then...
1485
01:23:58,163 --> 01:24:01,427
We're gonna see
Michelangelo's David.
1486
01:24:01,471 --> 01:24:04,039
It's a very
beautiful statue.
1487
01:24:04,082 --> 01:24:05,040
Daddy?
1488
01:24:05,823 --> 01:24:07,390
I know.
1489
01:24:07,433 --> 01:24:09,479
You have to go potty.
1490
01:24:09,522 --> 01:24:10,567
No.
1491
01:24:12,482 --> 01:24:14,353
I went pee pee
in my pants.
1492
01:24:25,669 --> 01:24:27,671
"Who made the pie?
1493
01:24:27,714 --> 01:24:29,325
"I made the pie.
1494
01:24:30,108 --> 01:24:31,762
"Who stole the pie?
1495
01:24:32,937 --> 01:24:34,504
"I stole the..."
1496
01:24:35,896 --> 01:24:37,028
Chloe?
1497
01:24:37,898 --> 01:24:40,292
Two hands
on that Pepsi.
1498
01:24:40,336 --> 01:24:43,078
If you spill
that Pepsi
on Daddy's lap...
1499
01:24:43,121 --> 01:24:44,992
I'm gonna
leave you with a big,
1500
01:24:45,036 --> 01:24:46,429
fat Italian woman,
1501
01:24:46,472 --> 01:24:48,735
with a mustache, who eats
children for breakfast!
1502
01:24:50,563 --> 01:24:53,044
Don't you ever
get sleepy, honey?
1503
01:24:53,088 --> 01:24:54,524
I'm not tired, Daddy.
1504
01:24:54,567 --> 01:24:56,091
No?
1505
01:24:56,134 --> 01:24:58,832
She sure is
a daddy's girl.
1506
01:24:59,703 --> 01:25:01,531
Oh, excuse me, miss.
1507
01:25:01,574 --> 01:25:03,707
How much longer
do we have?
1508
01:25:03,750 --> 01:25:07,145
The plane will be
taking off
1509
01:25:07,189 --> 01:25:08,712
any minute now.
1510
01:25:09,582 --> 01:25:13,238
So, why don't you relax,
1511
01:25:13,282 --> 01:25:15,806
and enjoy 14 hours
in the air.
1512
01:25:19,114 --> 01:25:20,898
Daddy?
Yes, honey.
1513
01:25:20,941 --> 01:25:23,030
I spilled
my Pepsi on you.
1514
01:25:23,074 --> 01:25:24,641
What?
1515
01:25:24,684 --> 01:25:26,295
Just kidding.
1516
01:25:26,338 --> 01:25:27,948
Oh, God.
1517
01:25:27,992 --> 01:25:29,863
Would a Dr. Billie Parker please depress your call button
1518
01:25:29,907 --> 01:25:31,604
and identify yourself.
1519
01:25:31,648 --> 01:25:33,389
Mommy!
That's you.
1520
01:25:33,432 --> 01:25:35,608
What's goin' on?
I don't know.
1521
01:25:48,186 --> 01:25:49,318
Daddy.
1522
01:25:50,145 --> 01:25:52,147
Your mother's fine.
1523
01:25:52,190 --> 01:25:54,061
She'll be
pleased to
see you.
1524
01:25:54,105 --> 01:25:55,150
Can I see her now?
1525
01:25:55,933 --> 01:25:58,022
You know what...
1526
01:25:58,065 --> 01:26:01,286
She was okay.
She was doing the...
1527
01:26:01,330 --> 01:26:04,246
Cooking and
everything was okay.
And then...
1528
01:26:05,029 --> 01:26:06,465
The next minute...
1529
01:26:07,814 --> 01:26:10,208
What did the doctor say?
1530
01:26:10,252 --> 01:26:13,255
He said she's going
to be all right. Uh...
1531
01:26:13,298 --> 01:26:15,344
Go home in a
couple of days.
1532
01:26:16,171 --> 01:26:17,172
Thank God.
1533
01:26:30,359 --> 01:26:31,403
Mom?
1534
01:26:33,492 --> 01:26:34,580
Mom?
1535
01:26:39,498 --> 01:26:41,065
How you feelin'?
1536
01:26:42,936 --> 01:26:45,069
Oh, much better.
Yeah?
1537
01:26:46,984 --> 01:26:49,508
The first thing
I'm going to do,
1538
01:26:49,552 --> 01:26:51,075
when I get out
of this hospital,
1539
01:26:51,118 --> 01:26:53,556
is throw away
those damn cigarettes.
1540
01:26:56,863 --> 01:26:58,387
I love you
so much, Ma.
1541
01:26:58,430 --> 01:27:00,693
I love you.
I love you, sweetie.
1542
01:27:03,914 --> 01:27:05,698
Billie.
Now what?
1543
01:27:08,788 --> 01:27:10,660
I love the name
"Chloe".
1544
01:27:13,358 --> 01:27:14,533
Thanks.
1545
01:27:22,759 --> 01:27:25,022
Maybe you can
sneak her in here.
1546
01:27:25,718 --> 01:27:27,024
Yeah?
Yeah.
1547
01:27:35,250 --> 01:27:37,600
Daddy?
Shh, not now, sweetheart.
1548
01:27:37,643 --> 01:27:39,863
Is this what
a baby kangaroo
feels like?
1549
01:27:39,906 --> 01:27:41,038
Yes, sweetheart.
1550
01:27:43,170 --> 01:27:44,259
Okay.
1551
01:27:50,874 --> 01:27:52,223
Greg. Greg.
1552
01:27:53,833 --> 01:27:55,618
Special delivery.
1553
01:27:55,661 --> 01:27:57,663
Oh. Aw.
1554
01:27:57,707 --> 01:28:00,275
Grandma.
Chloe, my darling.
1555
01:28:03,800 --> 01:28:05,758
Grandma,
I'm a baby kangaroo.
1556
01:28:06,933 --> 01:28:08,674
You sure are, honey.
1557
01:28:10,154 --> 01:28:11,590
How do you feel?
1558
01:28:11,634 --> 01:28:14,376
Oh, just terrific.
1559
01:28:14,419 --> 01:28:17,814
So sorry,
I took you away
from the David.
1560
01:28:19,250 --> 01:28:22,601
It's not a real person.
It's just a statue.
1561
01:28:28,346 --> 01:28:31,741
Mommy told me
a little about your trip.
1562
01:28:31,784 --> 01:28:35,005
She said you all
got exhausted.
1563
01:28:35,048 --> 01:28:37,399
And you didn't even
leave Columbia.
1564
01:28:38,443 --> 01:28:39,836
Yeah.
1565
01:28:39,879 --> 01:28:42,447
I think next vacation,
we'll spend it in bed.
1566
01:28:53,066 --> 01:28:55,330
Greg, take good care
of my baby.
1567
01:28:57,332 --> 01:28:59,725
I'm not
the greatest father.
1568
01:28:59,769 --> 01:29:02,032
But I think I'm starting
to get the hang of it.
1569
01:29:04,556 --> 01:29:06,384
No, your baby is fine.
1570
01:29:08,691 --> 01:29:10,432
Take good care
of my baby.
1571
01:29:15,828 --> 01:29:17,090
Evelyn...
1572
01:29:19,266 --> 01:29:22,487
I love Billie
more than anything
in the whole world.
1573
01:29:23,227 --> 01:29:25,011
I know you do, honey.
1574
01:29:27,666 --> 01:29:29,842
Just don't forget
to have fun.
1575
01:29:31,061 --> 01:29:32,323
Have fun?
1576
01:29:36,588 --> 01:29:37,850
Have fun.
1577
01:29:42,333 --> 01:29:43,987
Ah!
1578
01:29:45,510 --> 01:29:47,556
Give me
a kangaroo kiss.
1579
01:29:53,039 --> 01:29:54,476
Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.
1580
01:29:56,913 --> 01:29:58,784
I'll be back
soon, okay?
1581
01:30:00,133 --> 01:30:01,918
Bye, sweetie.
1582
01:30:02,527 --> 01:30:03,746
Bye-bye.
1583
01:30:04,747 --> 01:30:05,922
Bye, baby.
1584
01:30:13,930 --> 01:30:15,192
Mommy, you try...
1585
01:30:15,235 --> 01:30:16,759
Oh, I don't know.
1586
01:30:16,802 --> 01:30:18,282
You wanna...
1587
01:30:18,325 --> 01:30:22,417
Whoo.
Oh, that's lovely,
I'm sure.
1588
01:30:22,460 --> 01:30:25,942
Daddy, is that what
the Italian lady
is going to look like,
1589
01:30:25,985 --> 01:30:27,639
that you're going to
leave me with?
1590
01:30:29,162 --> 01:30:30,990
No, more like this.
No, more like this.Darling...
1591
01:30:31,034 --> 01:30:32,905
Oh, Dad. Ow!
1592
01:30:32,949 --> 01:30:34,385
Ahhh!
Ahhh!
1593
01:30:37,127 --> 01:30:38,824
Come here, little girl.
1594
01:30:38,868 --> 01:30:40,957
Ah. Rah!
1595
01:30:44,221 --> 01:30:47,442
Oh, where is she?
Where is that girl?
1596
01:30:55,014 --> 01:30:56,799
Ha, ha, ha!
Whoo!
1597
01:31:10,290 --> 01:31:11,683
I'm gonna get you.
1598
01:31:11,727 --> 01:31:14,730
I'm gonna get you.
No!
1599
01:31:14,773 --> 01:31:17,776
Excuse me, Mr. Parker,
can I speak with you
for a moment, please?
1600
01:31:24,391 --> 01:31:27,177
Chloe, come here.
Daddy needs
to hug you.
1601
01:31:59,992 --> 01:32:01,733
Why'd she go?
1602
01:32:04,693 --> 01:32:07,130
Daddy, where did
grandma go?
1603
01:32:36,376 --> 01:32:38,378
Why'd she go?
1604
01:33:57,936 --> 01:34:00,983
Yes, sir.
Yes, Mr. Parker.
1605
01:34:03,420 --> 01:34:04,987
Well, let me
go get her.
1606
01:34:06,684 --> 01:34:07,816
Uh-huh.
1607
01:34:09,121 --> 01:34:12,168
I think she's resting.
She's, uh...
1608
01:34:12,211 --> 01:34:14,431
Going through
a rough time now.
1609
01:34:16,389 --> 01:34:18,435
Sure, I'll let her know.
1610
01:34:18,478 --> 01:34:20,002
Okay, bye-bye.
1611
01:34:22,613 --> 01:34:24,093
I love you, too.
1612
01:34:25,616 --> 01:34:26,661
Bye.
1613
01:35:04,307 --> 01:35:06,918
♪ Hey, hey, hey, Billie
1614
01:35:09,007 --> 01:35:10,966
♪ I want to know
1615
01:35:11,967 --> 01:35:13,664
♪ If you'll be my girl
1616
01:35:16,754 --> 01:35:21,150
♪ Hey, hey, hey, Billie
1617
01:35:23,108 --> 01:35:24,893
♪ I want to know
1618
01:35:25,981 --> 01:35:27,896
♪ If you'll be my girl ♪
1619
01:35:47,437 --> 01:35:49,091
Don't cry, Daddy.
1620
01:35:50,832 --> 01:35:53,399
You've got
the whole world
at your feet.
1621
01:36:00,015 --> 01:36:01,625
Don't cry, Daddy.
1622
01:36:04,149 --> 01:36:06,761
You've got
the whole world
at your feet.
1623
01:36:08,371 --> 01:36:09,546
Chloe?
1624
01:36:39,968 --> 01:36:43,754
I know I should
have rented a car. God,
there goes my muffler. Oh!
1625
01:36:43,798 --> 01:36:45,190
People really
live like this?
1626
01:36:45,234 --> 01:36:47,497
I can't believe this.
My God.
1627
01:36:47,540 --> 01:36:50,195
Jesus. Ah.
Anyway, your...
1628
01:36:55,287 --> 01:36:57,986
Greg, I can't
tell you how important
this is to me.
1629
01:36:58,029 --> 01:37:01,554
I'll tell you
on a, on a scale of
one to ten, this is...
1630
01:37:01,598 --> 01:37:04,122
This is at least a million,
for Christ sakes.
1631
01:37:04,166 --> 01:37:05,384
Greg.
1632
01:37:05,428 --> 01:37:06,516
Look at that sky.
1633
01:37:06,559 --> 01:37:08,213
Jesus Christ.
1634
01:37:08,257 --> 01:37:09,475
What are you
looking at?
1635
01:37:09,519 --> 01:37:11,303
Evelyn is a part of that sky?
1636
01:37:11,347 --> 01:37:12,739
What are you looking at?
What are you looking at?
1637
01:37:12,783 --> 01:37:14,437
Are you
listening to me?
1638
01:37:14,480 --> 01:37:17,657
Yeah, yeah.
It... It's important.
1639
01:37:17,701 --> 01:37:20,138
That little bastards
just came off
a platinum album.
1640
01:37:20,182 --> 01:37:22,488
Kids love them.
I think they're
a gold mine.
1641
01:37:22,532 --> 01:37:24,577
Mr. Hoskins, you want
their account
1642
01:37:24,621 --> 01:37:25,796
and you're calling them
the little bastards
1643
01:37:25,840 --> 01:37:26,928
right in front of
where they live?
1644
01:37:26,971 --> 01:37:28,625
That's their name,
"The Little Bastards".
1645
01:37:28,668 --> 01:37:31,671
They fired their pianist,
went through the roof.
1646
01:37:31,715 --> 01:37:34,892
They sing obscenities
a cappella with all that
bullshit drum shit.
1647
01:37:34,936 --> 01:37:36,328
Yeah, it's called
rapping, Mr. Hoskins.
1648
01:37:36,372 --> 01:37:37,895
I don't relate to
that at all.
1649
01:37:37,939 --> 01:37:39,679
That's because
I think they're pigs
and they know that.
1650
01:37:39,723 --> 01:37:42,378
And for some reason,
they like that.
But you, you're young.
1651
01:37:42,421 --> 01:37:44,728
You were brought up
on that drum shit.
1652
01:37:44,771 --> 01:37:47,165
You can become
friends with
The Little Bastards...
1653
01:37:47,209 --> 01:37:48,645
Will you tell me what
you're looking at?
1654
01:37:49,820 --> 01:37:51,300
Greg, are you
listening to me?
1655
01:37:51,343 --> 01:37:52,475
What are you
looking at, Greg?
1656
01:37:52,518 --> 01:37:54,651
I need your attention
100% of the time.
1657
01:37:54,694 --> 01:37:56,609
You pay attention,
do what I tell you!
1658
01:37:56,653 --> 01:37:57,915
Together we can
make a fortune.
1659
01:37:57,959 --> 01:38:00,744
Come in, asshole!
If you dare.
1660
01:38:00,787 --> 01:38:03,094
Bring your friend. Derriere.
1661
01:38:03,138 --> 01:38:05,618
Yo, I got this chick.
She is really fine.
1662
01:38:05,662 --> 01:38:08,317
You know, she likes to
do it all the time.
1663
01:38:08,360 --> 01:38:09,840
Don't let it
get to you, Greg.
1664
01:38:09,884 --> 01:38:12,234
Just keep thinking
about how much money
we're going to make.
1665
01:38:12,277 --> 01:38:13,975
All the time.
1666
01:38:14,018 --> 01:38:15,933
Honey bear!
1667
01:38:15,977 --> 01:38:18,283
What are you
doing here?
1668
01:38:31,688 --> 01:38:33,472
Sure is quiet
around here.
1669
01:38:35,997 --> 01:38:37,868
Hasn't been
this quiet in...
1670
01:38:39,652 --> 01:38:41,437
Four years.
1671
01:38:43,613 --> 01:38:45,920
Now that Chloe
has her little school,
1672
01:38:45,963 --> 01:38:47,878
the house seems
kinda empty,
doesn't it?
1673
01:38:56,756 --> 01:38:58,715
How much time
do we have?
1674
01:39:00,673 --> 01:39:02,719
Well...
1675
01:39:02,762 --> 01:39:04,677
She's spending
the entire day
1676
01:39:04,721 --> 01:39:06,766
at her friend
Katie's house.
1677
01:39:08,899 --> 01:39:11,771
Don't move.
Stay right here.
Don't move.
1678
01:39:11,815 --> 01:39:13,382
Where are you going?
1679
01:39:13,425 --> 01:39:14,557
Greg!
1680
01:39:14,600 --> 01:39:16,515
Greg, what are you doing?
1681
01:39:16,559 --> 01:39:18,691
Give me a hint.
Come on. Greg.
1682
01:39:24,697 --> 01:39:28,397
Champagne,
microwave popcorn,
hot peppers.
1683
01:39:28,440 --> 01:39:29,789
Mmm.
1684
01:39:29,833 --> 01:39:31,574
Ice cream sandwiches.
1685
01:39:31,617 --> 01:39:32,967
The Alien.
1686
01:39:34,359 --> 01:39:36,492
You wanna
have a party?Yes.
1687
01:39:37,014 --> 01:39:38,668
Here.
1688
01:39:38,711 --> 01:39:41,018
You know what
I was thinking?What?
1689
01:39:41,062 --> 01:39:42,324
I've always
wanted to paint.
1690
01:39:42,367 --> 01:39:43,760
Then you should.
1691
01:39:43,803 --> 01:39:44,848
Well, you know,
maybe I could take
some classes.
1692
01:39:44,891 --> 01:39:46,197
I've always
wanted to do that.
1693
01:39:46,241 --> 01:39:48,199
Then you will.
You just will.Mmm-hmm.
1694
01:39:48,243 --> 01:39:50,549
And you know
what I could do?Hmm?
1695
01:39:51,768 --> 01:39:53,248
I'll build you
a place on the porch.
1696
01:39:53,291 --> 01:39:55,206
And it'd be
semi-enclosed.
1697
01:39:55,250 --> 01:39:57,208
So, you could paint
in the sun if you want.
You can paint in the shade.
1698
01:39:57,252 --> 01:39:58,644
You can paint anytime
you want.
How's that sound?
1699
01:39:58,688 --> 01:40:00,211
Oh, that'd be great.
1700
01:40:00,255 --> 01:40:03,127
So, what do you say?
You wanna have
another baby?
1701
01:40:10,439 --> 01:40:13,529
Go ahead.
Have a good time.
1702
01:40:14,965 --> 01:40:16,358
Make a baby.
1703
01:40:17,446 --> 01:40:18,534
Mom?
1704
01:40:20,449 --> 01:40:23,147
What do you think,
Evelyn?
1705
01:40:23,191 --> 01:40:25,019
That's what
it's all about, kids.
1706
01:40:27,934 --> 01:40:32,417
♪ It's still
the same old story
1707
01:40:32,461 --> 01:40:36,639
♪ A fight for love and glory
1708
01:40:36,682 --> 01:40:44,038
♪ A case of do or die
1709
01:40:44,081 --> 01:40:49,478
♪ The world will
always welcome lovers
1710
01:40:50,392 --> 01:40:51,915
Life is so weird.
1711
01:40:51,958 --> 01:40:54,918
♪ As time
1712
01:40:54,961 --> 01:40:56,093
You said a mouthful.
1713
01:40:56,137 --> 01:40:58,704
♪ Goes
1714
01:41:00,793 --> 01:41:04,101
♪ By ♪
1715
01:41:13,850 --> 01:41:16,331
Daddy, where was I
before I was?
1716
01:41:17,027 --> 01:41:18,115
Um...
1717
01:41:18,855 --> 01:41:20,509
Um... Well, um...
1718
01:41:21,118 --> 01:41:22,293
Ugh.
1719
01:41:22,337 --> 01:41:24,208
Um, well you, uh...
1720
01:41:24,252 --> 01:41:26,515
Where were you
before you were?
1721
01:41:26,558 --> 01:41:28,212
Well...
1722
01:41:28,256 --> 01:41:31,215
Well, you were,
you were in
Mommy and Daddy's love.
1723
01:41:31,259 --> 01:41:32,782
In Mommy's tummy?
1724
01:41:32,825 --> 01:41:35,089
Yes, yes. In Mommy's tummy.
1725
01:41:37,961 --> 01:41:40,920
But how did I
get in Mommy's tummy?
1726
01:41:43,488 --> 01:41:45,273
Well, um...
1727
01:41:46,839 --> 01:41:50,408
Um, well, you see,
what, what, what I...
1728
01:41:50,452 --> 01:41:52,758
I... I kind of put you there.
1729
01:41:52,802 --> 01:41:55,500
Yeah, you see, I put... I put you there.
1730
01:41:55,544 --> 01:41:57,807
With, um...
1731
01:41:57,850 --> 01:42:00,897
I put you... I put you there with... With my love.
1732
01:42:01,941 --> 01:42:04,118
Where did your love
come from?
1733
01:42:05,684 --> 01:42:07,033
Gimme your finger.
1734
01:42:08,252 --> 01:42:10,646
Comes from here.
1735
01:42:10,689 --> 01:42:12,213
Comes from...
Yeah.Here?
1736
01:42:12,256 --> 01:42:13,562
From my heart.
1737
01:42:13,605 --> 01:42:15,129
Your heart?
Yeah.
1738
01:42:22,745 --> 01:42:25,748
Why are you looking at me so funny, sweetheart?
1739
01:42:25,791 --> 01:42:27,750
You understand, don't you?
1740
01:42:27,793 --> 01:42:29,882
My love comes from my heart.
1741
01:42:31,710 --> 01:42:34,844
But... But, Daddy.
1742
01:42:34,887 --> 01:42:37,542
How does your heart
get in Mommy's tummy?
1743
01:42:37,586 --> 01:42:40,154
Do you stuff
it in there?
1744
01:42:40,197 --> 01:42:42,634
Is there
a magic word?
1745
01:42:42,678 --> 01:42:45,246
Do you punch
it in there?
1746
01:42:45,289 --> 01:42:47,248
What do you do?
Billie!
120592
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