Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,539 --> 00:00:05,509
- "Will & Grace"
is recorded in front of
2
00:00:05,547 --> 00:00:06,508
a live studio audience.
3
00:00:06,556 --> 00:00:08,392
- Hey, check this out.
4
00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:09,738
I got it for the trip.
5
00:00:09,776 --> 00:00:12,784
It's called an Astro Pillow.
So--
6
00:00:12,832 --> 00:00:14,379
[grunts]
7
00:00:14,417 --> 00:00:16,638
You put it on like this,
8
00:00:16,676 --> 00:00:19,270
you put down your
tray table, and...
9
00:00:23,076 --> 00:00:26,006
You can sleep like this.
Isn't it cool?
10
00:00:29,053 --> 00:00:30,648
Grace, could you--
could you help me?
11
00:00:30,687 --> 00:00:31,945
It's a little snug.
12
00:00:31,984 --> 00:00:33,945
- Do it yourself.
How else will you learn?
13
00:00:33,993 --> 00:00:35,703
- Grace, I can't breathe!
14
00:00:35,751 --> 00:00:38,010
I'm Sandra Bullock
in "Gravity"!
15
00:00:41,354 --> 00:00:42,603
You were going to
let me die in there.
16
00:00:42,651 --> 00:00:44,275
- I would never let you die.
17
00:00:44,324 --> 00:00:45,995
Then who would be around
to criticize me?
18
00:00:46,034 --> 00:00:47,581
- [groans]
19
00:00:47,629 --> 00:00:49,964
Okay, I'm sorry
about the other night.
20
00:00:50,012 --> 00:00:52,895
I should never have said that
you can do better than Noah.
21
00:00:52,934 --> 00:00:54,318
- So you don't think
I can do better?
22
00:00:54,356 --> 00:00:56,076
- To be clear,
I shouldn't have said it.
23
00:00:56,114 --> 00:00:59,334
- Oh, my God,
you just can't help yourself.
24
00:00:59,382 --> 00:01:01,553
- The guy bails on your
good friend's wedding, why?
25
00:01:01,591 --> 00:01:02,803
Because he's got
a "buddy" in town?
26
00:01:02,851 --> 00:01:04,273
- Hey, we are not
doing this today.
27
00:01:04,312 --> 00:01:06,743
It's Jack's wedding.
- All right, you're right.
28
00:01:06,781 --> 00:01:08,031
- And Noah's friend
is only in for three days.
29
00:01:08,079 --> 00:01:10,712
- That is such a lame--
- No, not today.
30
00:01:10,750 --> 00:01:13,134
And the wedding is in Spain.
That's a big ask.
31
00:01:13,181 --> 00:01:16,103
- He made a commit--
- Not..today!
32
00:01:16,151 --> 00:01:17,909
[upbeat piano music]
33
00:01:17,948 --> 00:01:21,253
- Hi, Jack McFarland,
BTB, bride to be.
34
00:01:21,292 --> 00:01:25,270
Um, is it possible to arrange
a surprise announcement
35
00:01:25,309 --> 00:01:29,277
from the pilot congratulating
me on my upcoming nip-shuls?
36
00:01:29,326 --> 00:01:30,873
- Sorry, the flight's
been delayed.
37
00:01:30,912 --> 00:01:32,631
Bad weather in Spain.
- No, no, no.
38
00:01:32,670 --> 00:01:35,015
It can't be delayed.
Check again.
39
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:37,687
Do the thing where you do this.
40
00:01:37,735 --> 00:01:39,320
- Okay.
41
00:01:41,117 --> 00:01:42,751
It's delayed.
42
00:01:42,790 --> 00:01:46,096
- Well, she checked.
43
00:01:46,134 --> 00:01:48,901
- Let me take a crack
at this one, boys.
44
00:01:48,939 --> 00:01:51,160
If you can get
this tin bird moving,
45
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:55,628
I'll blow into your tubes
until you're fully inflated.
46
00:01:58,012 --> 00:02:01,230
- Karen, you're not a lesbian.
- Oh, really?
47
00:02:01,278 --> 00:02:03,912
Then why is my hot
new lesbian girlfriend
48
00:02:03,951 --> 00:02:05,421
about to meet me here?
49
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:09,053
There, I said it.
She's black.
50
00:02:11,523 --> 00:02:13,782
- Oh, look, the flight's
no longer delayed.
51
00:02:13,820 --> 00:02:14,867
- Oh.
- Oh, thank God.
52
00:02:14,915 --> 00:02:16,251
- It's cancelled.
53
00:02:16,290 --> 00:02:19,307
[upbeat trumpet
and piano music]
54
00:02:19,345 --> 00:02:26,284
♪
55
00:02:28,417 --> 00:02:29,638
- Wait, so the wedding's
on hold.
56
00:02:29,676 --> 00:02:31,137
- Eh.
- How's Jack taking it?
57
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:33,904
[horn beeps]
- Why?
58
00:02:35,365 --> 00:02:38,795
- So, look, I have something
big to tell you.
59
00:02:38,834 --> 00:02:40,631
- McCoy Whitman, is that you?
- Yeah.
60
00:02:40,679 --> 00:02:42,226
- Ooh, can I get
a picture with you?
61
00:02:42,264 --> 00:02:43,976
- Yeah, sure thing.
62
00:02:44,024 --> 00:02:45,109
[shutter snaps]
63
00:02:45,148 --> 00:02:46,781
All right.
- You want to check it?
64
00:02:46,819 --> 00:02:48,492
- They're always good.
- Oh.
65
00:02:51,173 --> 00:02:53,307
- It looks like the network
is going to make me
66
00:02:53,345 --> 00:02:55,103
Chief London Correspondent.
67
00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:57,611
- That's your dream job!
- I know.
68
00:02:57,659 --> 00:03:00,167
It's going to be so great.
- So why does it--
69
00:03:00,207 --> 00:03:01,754
- Because I'd be living
in London,
70
00:03:01,792 --> 00:03:05,559
and you'd be living here,
and we'd be so far apart!
71
00:03:05,597 --> 00:03:08,116
- Hi, we're huge fans.
Can we--
72
00:03:08,154 --> 00:03:11,085
- Of course. Yes.
- Oh, gosh!
73
00:03:11,123 --> 00:03:12,958
[shutter snaps]
74
00:03:13,006 --> 00:03:14,928
- What are we going to do?
- Well, we'll be okay.
75
00:03:14,967 --> 00:03:17,936
I mean, lots of couples make
the long-distance thing work.
76
00:03:17,984 --> 00:03:19,993
- Name one.
77
00:03:20,032 --> 00:03:21,790
You can't!
78
00:03:21,828 --> 00:03:24,001
- Um, that guy was
in the picture, so do--
79
00:03:24,049 --> 00:03:25,048
- Let's take another.
- Oh, good!
80
00:03:25,096 --> 00:03:26,306
- All right.
81
00:03:26,345 --> 00:03:27,267
[shutter snaps]
82
00:03:27,306 --> 00:03:29,026
- Oh, I look bad
in this one, too.
83
00:03:29,065 --> 00:03:30,487
- Everyone looks bad
next to him!
84
00:03:30,525 --> 00:03:32,534
Move it along.
85
00:03:32,582 --> 00:03:34,081
- Jack.
- Ohh...
86
00:03:34,129 --> 00:03:35,926
please tell me you found a way
for us to get to Spain.
87
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:39,606
- Oh, wouldn't that be nice?
But no.
88
00:03:39,645 --> 00:03:42,614
We are getting married
at midnight
89
00:03:42,653 --> 00:03:47,343
right here at gate 35A!
The nicest of the 35s.
90
00:03:49,265 --> 00:03:51,061
Papi, I know it's not Spain,
91
00:03:51,110 --> 00:03:53,531
but at least our wedding
will not be on a Tuesday.
92
00:03:53,569 --> 00:03:54,829
- Oh, thank God.
93
00:03:54,867 --> 00:03:56,712
Because we wouldn't want
our wedding to be cursed
94
00:03:56,751 --> 00:03:58,346
by being forced
to have it at an--
95
00:03:58,384 --> 00:04:00,643
oh, I don't know, an airport!
96
00:04:04,112 --> 00:04:08,292
What--what, do you want to have
our honeymoon in a men's room?
97
00:04:08,340 --> 00:04:12,098
- Jack, that's where we had
our second date.
98
00:04:12,146 --> 00:04:14,279
[upbeat piano music]
99
00:04:16,076 --> 00:04:16,451
.
100
00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:19,208
- Welcome to the pre-wedding
cocktail hour.
101
00:04:19,256 --> 00:04:24,648
As you can all see, this is not
a castle on a hill in Spain.
102
00:04:24,686 --> 00:04:28,578
But Estefan did find
an airport White Castle.
103
00:04:30,212 --> 00:04:33,854
And this jar of Spanish olives
for the reception.
104
00:04:35,277 --> 00:04:37,486
So...
105
00:04:37,534 --> 00:04:39,918
yay.
106
00:04:39,956 --> 00:04:42,590
There will also be
no unicorn dessert station,
107
00:04:42,628 --> 00:04:43,848
no magical up-lighting.
108
00:04:43,887 --> 00:04:45,809
I mean, it's an airport.
There's nothing.
109
00:04:45,857 --> 00:04:47,731
[laughs]
110
00:04:47,779 --> 00:04:49,115
[sobs]
111
00:04:49,153 --> 00:04:50,623
- Who's going to perform
the ceremony?
112
00:04:50,662 --> 00:04:54,179
- That part is set.
Estefan's tio,Alberto.
113
00:04:54,217 --> 00:04:57,811
He's a judge on
"Spain's Got Talent."
114
00:04:59,820 --> 00:05:03,212
- Isn't he in Spain?
- Your point?
115
00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:06,845
- Five, four, three, two...
116
00:05:14,629 --> 00:05:16,464
- Excuse me.
117
00:05:19,058 --> 00:05:21,779
- Oh, my God, I didn't even
think of this.
118
00:05:21,817 --> 00:05:24,287
If Jack's getting married here,
Noah can come.
119
00:05:24,335 --> 00:05:26,132
I'm going to call him.
- I have no opinion on that.
120
00:05:26,170 --> 00:05:27,756
- I wasn't asking
for your opinion.
121
00:05:27,804 --> 00:05:29,476
- Well, none was offered.
- None was requested.
122
00:05:29,515 --> 00:05:30,859
- Nor was one forthcoming.
123
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,820
- Oh, go put your
head condom back on.
124
00:05:34,704 --> 00:05:36,712
- So I just got off
the phone with the network,
125
00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:39,009
and it turns out
I didn't get the job.
126
00:05:39,057 --> 00:05:42,863
- What, no!
Darn it, those dummies.
127
00:05:42,901 --> 00:05:44,448
[grunts]
128
00:05:44,487 --> 00:05:47,379
- It's okay if you're happy.
- I am, I'm sorry.
129
00:05:47,418 --> 00:05:48,878
But I'm thrilled for us.
130
00:05:48,926 --> 00:05:51,012
We both know the long-distance
thing never works.
131
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:53,232
- Yes, I agree,
and that's why I told them
132
00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:54,779
thanks but no thanks.
133
00:05:54,817 --> 00:05:58,248
- Wait, why did you thank them
for not giving you a job?
134
00:05:58,296 --> 00:05:59,920
- Well, I was
just being polite.
135
00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:01,179
You know how the Brits are.
136
00:06:01,218 --> 00:06:02,851
[British accent]
Tut-tut, spot of tea.
137
00:06:02,889 --> 00:06:05,445
On your marks, get set, bake!
138
00:06:06,570 --> 00:06:10,087
Okay, they--they offered me
the job, but I said no.
139
00:06:10,126 --> 00:06:14,056
- Sweetie, you can't turn down
your dream job because of me.
140
00:06:14,104 --> 00:06:16,401
- I don't want to lose you.
- Well, if you stay,
141
00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:19,706
you'll end up resenting me.
I couldn't stand that.
142
00:06:20,792 --> 00:06:24,098
You got to call them back.
143
00:06:24,137 --> 00:06:26,520
- I know.
144
00:06:27,942 --> 00:06:29,912
- Another round, barkeep.
145
00:06:29,951 --> 00:06:33,545
- Hello, Mrs. Walker.
- Smitty?
146
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,304
You work here, too?
147
00:06:35,352 --> 00:06:38,648
- Because of all the death
and illness in my family,
148
00:06:38,696 --> 00:06:40,781
I have to work multiple jobs.
149
00:06:40,829 --> 00:06:43,875
Though I guess dancing
while Wall Street guys
150
00:06:43,923 --> 00:06:46,595
throw lit cigarettes
at me, well,
151
00:06:46,643 --> 00:06:49,776
that's not really a job.
152
00:06:57,386 --> 00:07:02,278
- Oh, Smitty.
You are a treasure.
153
00:07:02,326 --> 00:07:05,632
If I wasn't a lesbian,
I would kiss you.
154
00:07:05,670 --> 00:07:08,342
I'm a lesbian now.
- You are?
155
00:07:08,390 --> 00:07:12,993
Oh, my gaydar must be going
the way of my hearing
156
00:07:13,032 --> 00:07:14,915
and--and my sense of smell,
157
00:07:14,954 --> 00:07:19,134
and--and my ability
to digest solid food.
158
00:07:19,182 --> 00:07:21,143
- [laughs]
159
00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:28,091
Smitty, you got to give a gal
a chance to breathe.
160
00:07:30,473 --> 00:07:32,895
[laughs]
161
00:07:33,942 --> 00:07:38,460
Oh, it's just that
after my marriage ended,
162
00:07:38,498 --> 00:07:42,303
I didn't know who I was
or what I wanted.
163
00:07:42,351 --> 00:07:44,696
And then, Nikki came along
and told me.
164
00:07:44,734 --> 00:07:49,751
And now, I am exactly
who I'm supposed to be.
165
00:07:49,789 --> 00:07:52,759
I think.
166
00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:55,651
I don't know.
167
00:07:55,689 --> 00:07:59,582
- Did you ever think
that maybe you're not gay?
168
00:07:59,620 --> 00:08:03,176
You're just lost.
169
00:08:03,224 --> 00:08:05,684
- [laughs]
170
00:08:10,201 --> 00:08:12,795
Wait a minute,
that's not funny.
171
00:08:12,843 --> 00:08:14,928
[bright piano music]
172
00:08:14,967 --> 00:08:17,360
- Chardonnay, please.
173
00:08:17,398 --> 00:08:20,070
Noah's not coming.
We do not need to get into it.
174
00:08:20,118 --> 00:08:21,166
- Ah.
175
00:08:21,204 --> 00:08:22,915
- That is such a "you"
thing to say.
176
00:08:22,963 --> 00:08:25,596
- Mm.
- Oh, now you're lecturing me?
177
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:29,151
I get it, it's a bummer.
He's a bummer.
178
00:08:29,190 --> 00:08:31,784
Are you happy?
- Are you happy?
179
00:08:31,823 --> 00:08:36,763
- I'm happy enough.
Noah is kind, and he loves me.
180
00:08:36,801 --> 00:08:39,819
You get to a point in your life
where you're lucky
181
00:08:39,857 --> 00:08:42,153
if you get 60%
of what you want.
182
00:08:42,202 --> 00:08:43,787
- Grace--
- It's not sad.
183
00:08:43,826 --> 00:08:45,507
It's a reality.
- Don't say that.
184
00:08:45,545 --> 00:08:47,180
You--
- No, do not tell me
185
00:08:47,218 --> 00:08:50,274
that I could do better,
because I can't.
186
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:53,195
I can't do better.
- Wow.
187
00:08:53,243 --> 00:08:57,126
I wish you could see yourself
the way I see you.
188
00:08:57,174 --> 00:09:00,681
Because if you did,
you'd know you deserve 100%
189
00:09:00,729 --> 00:09:03,113
of what you want.
190
00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:05,996
[groovy piano music]
191
00:09:06,034 --> 00:09:08,504
♪
192
00:09:10,388 --> 00:09:10,599
.
193
00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:12,184
- We have another problem.
194
00:09:12,232 --> 00:09:13,693
We don't have anybody
to marry us.
195
00:09:13,731 --> 00:09:17,585
- You big gay bitch!
196
00:09:20,045 --> 00:09:22,601
I just found out
that you're getting married,
197
00:09:22,639 --> 00:09:24,148
and you didn't invite me!
198
00:09:24,187 --> 00:09:26,244
- I know, I'm so sorry.
We totally forgot.
199
00:09:26,282 --> 00:09:27,743
- That bothers me, Jack.
200
00:09:27,791 --> 00:09:30,885
If I wasn't on my way to Tampa
to marry my sister--
201
00:09:30,923 --> 00:09:34,479
- Hey, you cannot
marry your sister.
202
00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:38,832
- In Florida, you can.
203
00:09:42,177 --> 00:09:45,060
- I'm not marrying her,
you dummies.
204
00:09:45,098 --> 00:09:49,115
I'm performing the ceremony.
I'm ordained.
205
00:09:49,163 --> 00:09:52,795
- Wait, you can marry people?
Would you ever consider, like--
206
00:09:52,844 --> 00:09:55,688
- All right,
I'll do it for 75 bucks.
207
00:09:55,726 --> 00:09:57,860
- 25 bucks.
- 100.
208
00:09:57,899 --> 00:10:01,165
- 200.
- You got yourself a deal.
209
00:10:01,204 --> 00:10:04,048
[bright piano music]
210
00:10:04,087 --> 00:10:06,057
♪
211
00:10:06,095 --> 00:10:07,056
- Oh!
212
00:10:07,104 --> 00:10:08,940
Oh, oh!
- Oh!
213
00:10:08,988 --> 00:10:10,401
- I'm so sorry.
- No, no, no, no, no.
214
00:10:10,449 --> 00:10:13,043
I'm sorry, I just--
I bit into the--
215
00:10:13,081 --> 00:10:15,840
- Gooey center?
- I call it the pearl.
216
00:10:17,637 --> 00:10:19,569
Oh, please, don't stop eating.
217
00:10:19,607 --> 00:10:23,374
- That is the nicest thing
a guy has ever said to me.
218
00:10:23,412 --> 00:10:26,218
- I find that
kind of hard to believe.
219
00:10:26,257 --> 00:10:27,679
You know, I was going to get
one of those
220
00:10:27,718 --> 00:10:29,477
sad little airport cookies,
but then, I thought
221
00:10:29,515 --> 00:10:31,110
"why settle for mediocrity
222
00:10:31,148 --> 00:10:33,369
when there is this
deliciousness out there?"
223
00:10:35,203 --> 00:10:36,838
- Agreed.
224
00:10:36,876 --> 00:10:39,096
- Marcus.
- Grace.
225
00:10:39,134 --> 00:10:41,393
- Where you headed?
- Nowhere.
226
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,612
My friend is getting married
here in the airport.
227
00:10:43,650 --> 00:10:45,457
- Oh, that's where I
want to get married.
228
00:10:45,496 --> 00:10:47,418
- Really?
- No.
229
00:10:47,466 --> 00:10:49,013
[laughs]
230
00:10:49,051 --> 00:10:50,935
Just my indelicate way
of telling you
231
00:10:50,973 --> 00:10:52,732
that I'm not married.
232
00:10:52,771 --> 00:10:54,442
- Smooth.
- Yeah.
233
00:10:54,490 --> 00:10:55,528
[chuckles]
234
00:10:55,576 --> 00:10:58,585
- Where you going?
- Uh, Italy.
235
00:10:58,633 --> 00:11:02,563
Yeah, then France, and then,
I don't know where.
236
00:11:02,602 --> 00:11:05,407
- Wow, that sounds amazing.
- Yeah, yeah.
237
00:11:05,445 --> 00:11:08,502
I just--I woke up one day,
and I thought...
238
00:11:08,541 --> 00:11:10,212
I don't know, you ever just
have one of those moments
239
00:11:10,251 --> 00:11:13,354
where you just--
you rethink your entire life?
240
00:11:13,394 --> 00:11:14,767
- Constantly.
241
00:11:14,815 --> 00:11:16,237
- [chuckles]
242
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:18,121
- How long you going away for?
243
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,544
- Mm, as long as it
makes me happy.
244
00:11:19,582 --> 00:11:21,167
- Oh.
- And as long as I
245
00:11:21,215 --> 00:11:24,012
can pass for a Canadian.
- I wish I could do that.
246
00:11:24,060 --> 00:11:26,857
Not the Canadian part.
I'm too loud.
247
00:11:26,905 --> 00:11:29,826
The dropping everything
and just taking off thing.
248
00:11:29,874 --> 00:11:32,632
- Oh, then do it.
- Oh, I--
249
00:11:32,671 --> 00:11:33,757
[scoffs]
250
00:11:33,805 --> 00:11:35,428
I don't do stuff like that.
251
00:11:35,476 --> 00:11:38,610
- What, something you want to
do when you want to do it?
252
00:11:38,658 --> 00:11:41,877
- Don't make it
sound reasonable.
253
00:11:41,915 --> 00:11:45,259
- Look, sometimes, the things
we do without thinking,
254
00:11:45,307 --> 00:11:48,354
they end up being the best
things that we ever do.
255
00:11:48,402 --> 00:11:50,324
- Really?
Because I have a Bowflex
256
00:11:50,362 --> 00:11:52,918
and cargo pants
that would say otherwise.
257
00:11:55,839 --> 00:11:59,818
- Hey, you wouldn't want to--
with--
258
00:11:59,857 --> 00:12:01,654
Oh--oh, man, forget it.
259
00:12:01,702 --> 00:12:03,787
I'm--I'm going to sound
like a crazy person.
260
00:12:03,836 --> 00:12:08,938
Uh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
You just--you seemed so--
261
00:12:08,977 --> 00:12:10,187
[stammers]
262
00:12:10,226 --> 00:12:13,118
Forgive me.
Okay, enjoy your wedding.
263
00:12:13,156 --> 00:12:15,963
- Hey.
- Yeah?
264
00:12:16,001 --> 00:12:18,760
- Points for almost asking.
265
00:12:20,768 --> 00:12:24,199
[bright piano music]
266
00:12:24,237 --> 00:12:25,457
- Hey, babe.
267
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,168
- [laughs]
268
00:12:27,207 --> 00:12:28,552
- So wait,
what was the thinking
269
00:12:28,591 --> 00:12:30,349
behind getting married
at an airport?
270
00:12:30,387 --> 00:12:32,521
The DMV was booked?
271
00:12:33,982 --> 00:12:35,577
- [clears throat]
272
00:12:35,615 --> 00:12:39,084
Look, um,
I need to say something.
273
00:12:39,132 --> 00:12:42,054
You know how I've said
that being with you
274
00:12:42,102 --> 00:12:45,907
has changed me,
and you've said that
275
00:12:45,946 --> 00:12:50,885
maybe I'm not being
totally honest with myself.
276
00:12:50,924 --> 00:12:52,471
- What are you trying to say?
277
00:12:52,519 --> 00:12:56,987
- Mm, what do you think
I'm trying to say?
278
00:12:57,035 --> 00:12:59,120
- Karen, I can't
say it for you.
279
00:12:59,169 --> 00:13:00,207
- [exhales]
280
00:13:00,255 --> 00:13:04,137
It's just so hard.
I just--
281
00:13:04,185 --> 00:13:07,529
I've realized that...
282
00:13:07,568 --> 00:13:10,335
I am...
283
00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:11,623
[exhales]
284
00:13:11,671 --> 00:13:13,046
[chuckles]
285
00:13:13,094 --> 00:13:17,235
Why can't I say the word?
Why can't I just say it?
286
00:13:17,274 --> 00:13:22,338
What--what is wrong with me?
Why am I so ashamed?
287
00:13:22,377 --> 00:13:26,682
Why can't I just speak my truth
and be who I am?
288
00:13:26,729 --> 00:13:27,816
Nikki...
289
00:13:27,855 --> 00:13:28,776
[button clicks]
290
00:13:28,816 --> 00:13:30,112
I'm straight.
291
00:13:30,151 --> 00:13:32,159
[echoing]
I'm straight, I'm straight...
292
00:13:32,207 --> 00:13:34,754
I'm straight...
I'm straight...I'm straight...
293
00:13:34,802 --> 00:13:37,060
- There are children around!
294
00:13:37,099 --> 00:13:39,568
[bright musical flourish]
295
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:41,577
.
296
00:13:41,615 --> 00:13:45,421
- So, about to be married
at an airport.
297
00:13:45,459 --> 00:13:47,718
Worst wedding
since Batman married Robin
298
00:13:47,766 --> 00:13:50,860
in that filthy cave.
299
00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:52,619
- Look at it this way.
300
00:13:52,657 --> 00:13:55,127
You waited for the right one.
You didn't settle.
301
00:13:55,165 --> 00:13:57,885
- You didn't care about
the distance or the obstacles.
302
00:13:57,923 --> 00:14:00,643
- And you're both really,
truly gay.
303
00:14:02,527 --> 00:14:04,823
It's not like one of you
is gay and black
304
00:14:04,872 --> 00:14:07,543
and the other one
is white, straight, and lost.
305
00:14:07,591 --> 00:14:10,637
["Here Comes The Bride"
plays]
306
00:14:10,685 --> 00:14:17,623
♪
307
00:14:20,968 --> 00:14:24,898
- Buddy, this is your moment.
Today, it's all about you.
308
00:14:24,946 --> 00:14:28,714
- I have waited to hear you
say that for 30 years.
309
00:14:29,924 --> 00:14:32,596
- If you hurt my Jackie,
310
00:14:32,644 --> 00:14:35,988
I know someone
who will reach up inside you
311
00:14:36,027 --> 00:14:39,083
and turn you inside out.
312
00:14:39,121 --> 00:14:40,379
- [purrs]
313
00:14:40,418 --> 00:14:42,927
- No, not in the good way.
314
00:14:45,357 --> 00:14:47,568
- Thank you.
315
00:14:49,163 --> 00:14:50,999
- Gracias.
[coins rattle]
316
00:14:53,968 --> 00:14:56,813
Mi amor,
you look beautiful.
317
00:14:56,861 --> 00:14:59,407
- I know.
318
00:14:59,446 --> 00:15:02,377
- Queerly beloved,
we are gathered here
319
00:15:02,415 --> 00:15:06,269
under this extremely
harsh lighting
320
00:15:06,307 --> 00:15:09,488
that I wouldn't wish
on my evil twin sister--
321
00:15:09,526 --> 00:15:12,707
she should rot in Hell--
322
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:16,426
to unite these two "men"...
323
00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:20,482
In holy matrimony.
324
00:15:20,530 --> 00:15:23,163
And now, I believe that
both Jack and Estefan
325
00:15:23,201 --> 00:15:26,008
have prepared their own vows.
Jack?
326
00:15:26,046 --> 00:15:29,525
- Estefan, you know me
well enough to know
327
00:15:29,563 --> 00:15:34,330
that I have prepared nothing.
328
00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:35,963
- It's true, I know that.
329
00:15:37,260 --> 00:15:39,346
- For months,
all I've ever talked about
330
00:15:39,394 --> 00:15:41,190
was having the perfect wedding.
331
00:15:41,229 --> 00:15:44,449
I wanted it to be the greatest
moment of my life.
332
00:15:44,496 --> 00:15:49,388
And now, standing here,
looking in your eyes...
333
00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:51,147
- [exhales]
334
00:15:51,185 --> 00:15:54,779
- I know I got exactly
what I wanted.
335
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,085
This is perfect.
336
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,843
- Flight 201
to Dallas, Fort Worth,
337
00:16:00,891 --> 00:16:03,812
has been moved to gate 63.
338
00:16:18,958 --> 00:16:22,802
- Like I said, perfect.
339
00:16:22,850 --> 00:16:26,405
You are the love of my life.
340
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:28,577
Te amo.
341
00:16:28,615 --> 00:16:31,546
- Te amo siempre,Jack.
342
00:16:31,584 --> 00:16:37,188
[off-key]
♪ Tu llenas mis sentidos
343
00:16:37,236 --> 00:16:40,454
♪ Como una noche
en el bosque ♪
344
00:16:40,493 --> 00:16:42,540
- [nose honks]
345
00:16:42,588 --> 00:16:49,113
- ♪ Like a mountain
in springtime ♪
346
00:16:49,152 --> 00:16:51,583
- No, no, no.
347
00:16:56,936 --> 00:17:00,193
- It's going to be okay, McCoy.
- No, it's not.
348
00:17:00,231 --> 00:17:01,702
We're going to break up,
and I'm going to
349
00:17:01,740 --> 00:17:03,585
have to go back
to dating underwear models
350
00:17:03,624 --> 00:17:09,313
and Bravo executives
and Italian soccer stars.
351
00:17:09,352 --> 00:17:12,946
It's going to be hell.
- Ah, well, me too.
352
00:17:12,993 --> 00:17:16,338
What with all the
part-time piano teachers
353
00:17:16,376 --> 00:17:19,518
and no-show Grindr dates.
354
00:17:19,557 --> 00:17:23,026
I--I totally get it.
355
00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:26,083
How do you keep a relationship
going from so far apart?
356
00:17:26,121 --> 00:17:29,475
- You can't.
- Unless...
357
00:17:29,513 --> 00:17:31,434
[Estefan continues
singing in Spanish]
358
00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:34,155
- Unless what?
359
00:17:34,193 --> 00:17:37,124
- And now, do you, Jack,
take Estefan
360
00:17:37,162 --> 00:17:40,344
as your
lawfully-wedded husband?
361
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:43,187
- Maybe everything else
was not as I planned,
362
00:17:43,226 --> 00:17:45,408
but this moment is.
363
00:17:45,446 --> 00:17:47,541
All eyes are on me
as I say--
364
00:17:47,579 --> 00:17:51,135
- I will!
I will marry you, Will Truman!
365
00:17:53,643 --> 00:17:55,777
- [screaming] I knew it!
366
00:17:55,815 --> 00:17:57,621
I knew it!
367
00:17:57,661 --> 00:18:00,716
- Jack, Jack, Jack, you're
still getting married first.
368
00:18:00,755 --> 00:18:03,561
I'm dying inside.
369
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,733
- That helps.
Let's keep going.
370
00:18:05,771 --> 00:18:09,538
[bright piano music]
371
00:18:09,577 --> 00:18:11,796
- That was the craziest,
most impulsive thing
372
00:18:11,834 --> 00:18:15,141
I have ever seen you do,
and I have never been prouder.
373
00:18:15,189 --> 00:18:16,938
- Yeah, yeah, it's weird,
because crazy and impulsive
374
00:18:16,986 --> 00:18:18,485
is usually your department.
375
00:18:18,533 --> 00:18:19,955
Did we switch bodies
when we opened
376
00:18:19,994 --> 00:18:22,088
that book of magic spells?
377
00:18:22,127 --> 00:18:24,298
- You inspired me, though.
378
00:18:24,347 --> 00:18:26,643
I'm kind of thinking about
doing something
379
00:18:26,682 --> 00:18:29,065
crazy and impulsive myself.
380
00:18:29,113 --> 00:18:30,487
- Is it something
that has the chance
381
00:18:30,535 --> 00:18:33,255
of making you
more than 60% happy?
382
00:18:33,294 --> 00:18:35,513
- It might.
383
00:18:35,552 --> 00:18:40,405
- Well, then go.
Go get yourself some happy.
384
00:18:43,663 --> 00:18:48,015
- Smitty, this isn't like me,
but I'm happy for my friends.
385
00:18:50,149 --> 00:18:51,572
I guess it makes me feel like
386
00:18:51,610 --> 00:18:54,955
maybe there's a chance
that I'll find love again.
387
00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:57,674
- [laughs]
388
00:19:02,152 --> 00:19:04,958
Mrs. Walker, you're hilarious.
389
00:19:07,629 --> 00:19:09,974
- We have a boarding
opportunity for passengers
390
00:19:10,013 --> 00:19:11,272
traveling flight 6150--
391
00:19:11,310 --> 00:19:13,482
- Ma'am are you boarding?
392
00:19:13,530 --> 00:19:16,836
- I was just--um, uh,
waiting for someone.
393
00:19:16,874 --> 00:19:20,093
I guess it was crazy.
394
00:19:20,131 --> 00:19:22,227
- Hold up.
Hold the gate.
395
00:19:22,266 --> 00:19:24,399
[bright music]
396
00:19:24,447 --> 00:19:27,119
- Hi.
397
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,877
- Hi.
398
00:19:28,915 --> 00:19:31,135
- Ooh, the first song
is husband and husband.
399
00:19:31,174 --> 00:19:34,902
Come on, let's dance.
Will!
400
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:38,583
♪
401
00:19:38,621 --> 00:19:41,129
- I was looking for you.
402
00:19:41,177 --> 00:19:43,762
- Here I am.
403
00:19:43,810 --> 00:19:47,491
- ♪ Love is in the air
404
00:19:47,530 --> 00:19:51,460
♪ Love is in the air
405
00:19:51,508 --> 00:19:55,477
♪ Love is in the air
406
00:19:55,515 --> 00:19:58,908
♪ Love is in the air
407
00:19:58,946 --> 00:20:02,126
♪ Love is in the air
29254
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof