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1
00:00:05,006 --> 00:00:06,889
- Will & Grace is recorded
2
00:00:06,927 --> 00:00:09,021
in front of
a live studio audience.
3
00:00:09,059 --> 00:00:11,020
- Okay, I have no idea why I'm
supposed to care about her.
4
00:00:11,068 --> 00:00:12,316
- Bella Hadid!
- Even less.
5
00:00:12,364 --> 00:00:14,449
- Gigi Hadid!
- Yes.
6
00:00:14,497 --> 00:00:16,379
Ugh, this guy.
- Kanye.
7
00:00:16,418 --> 00:00:18,089
- Yes.
[dinging]
8
00:00:18,128 --> 00:00:19,886
- Uh, time, time.
9
00:00:19,924 --> 00:00:22,767
The score right now
is 15 for you guys,
10
00:00:22,815 --> 00:00:27,493
and we are your heels with
a very respectable one.
11
00:00:27,541 --> 00:00:29,836
- I'm sorry I'm such
a bad partner.
12
00:00:29,875 --> 00:00:31,845
- Are you kidding?
You're better than Grace.
13
00:00:31,883 --> 00:00:33,515
She never takes
the time out to tell me
14
00:00:33,554 --> 00:00:34,976
how beautiful my eyes are.
15
00:00:35,024 --> 00:00:36,359
- They really are incredible.
16
00:00:36,398 --> 00:00:39,577
- They're hazel.
They're the color of a swamp.
17
00:00:39,615 --> 00:00:40,787
Here, your turn.
18
00:00:40,835 --> 00:00:42,584
- Okay, ready?
19
00:00:42,632 --> 00:00:43,678
Go.
20
00:00:43,717 --> 00:00:45,676
- Okay, he's hot
but not as hot as you.
21
00:00:45,725 --> 00:00:46,848
- Adam Levine.
22
00:00:46,896 --> 00:00:48,481
- You think you're hotter
than Adam Levine?
23
00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:50,115
- He's right.
- Yes, that's one point for us!
24
00:00:50,153 --> 00:00:51,910
- No, no,
it's the wrong answer
25
00:00:51,948 --> 00:00:54,129
but you are correct that
you're hotter than Adam Levine.
26
00:00:54,168 --> 00:00:56,550
- That's so sweet.
- Oh, you're so sweet.
27
00:00:56,589 --> 00:00:57,722
[audience aahs]
28
00:00:57,761 --> 00:00:59,854
- We're still playing!
29
00:01:00,902 --> 00:01:02,486
- Oh, this one's easy.
30
00:01:02,525 --> 00:01:04,033
Uh, we both have
French bulldogs
31
00:01:04,072 --> 00:01:05,368
from the same surrogate.
32
00:01:05,416 --> 00:01:07,923
[beeping]
- Time, time! We won again.
33
00:01:07,962 --> 00:01:09,720
- It was Rachel Maddow.
34
00:01:09,758 --> 00:01:11,266
- Oh.
35
00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:13,273
- Well, you guys were great.
- Mm-hmm.
36
00:01:13,312 --> 00:01:15,406
- At crapping the bed.
- [chuckles]
37
00:01:16,453 --> 00:01:18,124
- But you know what?
They are fun to hang out with.
38
00:01:18,163 --> 00:01:19,373
- They are.
They're a great couple.
39
00:01:19,421 --> 00:01:21,428
But come on,
we're the better couple.
40
00:01:21,467 --> 00:01:24,973
- You know, it's almost rude
how much better we are.
41
00:01:25,021 --> 00:01:27,153
- Should we try to be
less great as a couple?
42
00:01:27,192 --> 00:01:28,739
- If we could, we would.
43
00:01:29,785 --> 00:01:31,832
- They really care a lot
about the game.
44
00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:33,215
- [sighs] I know,
45
00:01:33,253 --> 00:01:36,270
but they're not as pretty
as we are.
46
00:01:36,308 --> 00:01:39,151
[upbeat trumpet
and piano music]
47
00:01:39,189 --> 00:01:46,172
♪
48
00:01:49,304 --> 00:01:52,195
[cell phone ringing]
49
00:01:53,819 --> 00:01:56,287
- What is it, Mother?
50
00:01:56,336 --> 00:01:58,842
No, I am not screening
your calls.
51
00:01:58,881 --> 00:02:00,889
I did listen
to your voicemails!
52
00:02:00,927 --> 00:02:03,184
I did too, Judith!
53
00:02:03,232 --> 00:02:05,028
Oh, yes I--
54
00:02:05,067 --> 00:02:06,700
[sighs]
55
00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:10,590
Okay, no I didn't.
56
00:02:10,628 --> 00:02:11,925
What do you want?
57
00:02:11,964 --> 00:02:13,308
No, of course
I'm still getting married!
58
00:02:13,347 --> 00:02:15,566
Why would--why do you keep
asking me that?
59
00:02:15,604 --> 00:02:17,487
I love Estefan.
60
00:02:18,486 --> 00:02:19,697
How dare you!
61
00:02:19,745 --> 00:02:21,243
No, I am not going to cheat.
62
00:02:21,291 --> 00:02:25,594
Not even if the perfect man
fell from the sky!
63
00:02:25,633 --> 00:02:27,977
No, I'm not going to feel stuck
when I get married.
64
00:02:28,025 --> 00:02:29,609
I will never be stuck.
65
00:02:29,647 --> 00:02:31,242
[thudding]
66
00:02:31,281 --> 00:02:32,827
[electrical buzzing]
67
00:02:32,865 --> 00:02:35,334
Oh, my God, I'm stuck.
68
00:02:36,506 --> 00:02:38,802
- Malcolm, darling,
the power is still out.
69
00:02:38,850 --> 00:02:41,319
I'll take off as soon
as it stops snowing.
70
00:02:41,357 --> 00:02:44,412
I'll just give Pilot
a little nudge. Okay.
71
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:48,926
Now you listen to me,
you son of a bitch.
72
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,980
I don't care if you have to dig
that plane out of the snow
73
00:02:53,018 --> 00:02:54,479
with a coke spoon,
74
00:02:54,527 --> 00:02:58,369
I am flying to Islamabad
tonight to see my boyfriend.
75
00:02:59,915 --> 00:03:02,720
- Wow, so that voice
comes out of you.
76
00:03:04,555 --> 00:03:07,148
I was picturing
a sexy animated rabbit.
77
00:03:08,108 --> 00:03:11,624
- Well, that's how I picture
myself except with a whip.
78
00:03:14,218 --> 00:03:16,101
- Um, I'm Nikki.
I'm above you.
79
00:03:16,139 --> 00:03:18,358
- Honey, no one's above me.
80
00:03:22,575 --> 00:03:25,380
- [scoffs]
Mind if I borrow your glasses?
81
00:03:25,418 --> 00:03:26,840
- Sure.
82
00:03:26,878 --> 00:03:28,550
There you go.
83
00:03:28,598 --> 00:03:30,854
- Wow, you have such
a weak prescription.
84
00:03:30,893 --> 00:03:32,229
- There's no prescription.
85
00:03:32,277 --> 00:03:34,160
They're fake.
86
00:03:34,198 --> 00:03:35,955
My eyes are perfect.
87
00:03:35,994 --> 00:03:37,165
- Then why--
88
00:03:37,204 --> 00:03:38,837
- Well, network testing
showed the glasses
89
00:03:38,875 --> 00:03:41,430
make me appear more trustworthy
and approachable.
90
00:03:41,469 --> 00:03:43,688
- So people think you're too
beautiful without the glasses?
91
00:03:43,727 --> 00:03:45,983
- 82% of viewers
don't hear a word I say
92
00:03:46,031 --> 00:03:47,617
when I'm not wearing them.
93
00:03:49,461 --> 00:03:50,921
- I'm sorry, what?
94
00:03:50,959 --> 00:03:52,256
[both chuckling]
95
00:03:53,217 --> 00:03:55,186
[both smacking]
96
00:03:55,686 --> 00:03:57,981
- You know what bugs me about
Will and McCoy?
97
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,825
- Ooh, what?
98
00:03:59,863 --> 00:04:03,255
- They're so into each other,
especially McCoy.
99
00:04:03,293 --> 00:04:05,550
Love's not that showy crap.
100
00:04:05,598 --> 00:04:08,355
You know, "Oh, you're
so beautiful and wonderful."
101
00:04:08,394 --> 00:04:10,065
Who wants that all the time?
102
00:04:10,113 --> 00:04:12,573
- [scoffs] Babies.
103
00:04:12,621 --> 00:04:16,760
- This is good.
oh, you and me hanging out.
104
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:19,556
These last few months,
I've been really happy.
105
00:04:19,604 --> 00:04:22,523
- I could do this all the time.
- Yeah, me too.
106
00:04:22,571 --> 00:04:25,703
Hey, I've got an idea.
107
00:04:26,539 --> 00:04:29,545
How about I give you
a drawer here?
108
00:04:29,594 --> 00:04:32,513
Some place to keep
your fake glasses.
109
00:04:33,186 --> 00:04:34,771
- I love that idea, Will.
110
00:04:34,819 --> 00:04:36,029
- Hmm.
111
00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:38,286
- Or I could just move in
with you.
112
00:04:38,324 --> 00:04:40,457
- [chuckles]
113
00:04:41,255 --> 00:04:43,051
Oh.
114
00:04:43,925 --> 00:04:46,019
- Love is looking someone
in the eyes
115
00:04:46,058 --> 00:04:48,190
and saying "I love you,
move in with me."
116
00:04:48,238 --> 00:04:50,034
- Yeah, I guess.
117
00:04:51,955 --> 00:04:53,924
Oh.
118
00:04:57,603 --> 00:04:58,727
Bad nut.
119
00:04:58,766 --> 00:05:00,898
- Grace, I'm asking you
to move in with me.
120
00:05:00,946 --> 00:05:02,070
[spits]
121
00:05:04,001 --> 00:05:06,258
- Oh, I--oh.
122
00:05:06,297 --> 00:05:08,381
- Ah, I did it again.
I moved too fast.
123
00:05:08,429 --> 00:05:10,725
Why do I keep doing that?
What is wrong with me?
124
00:05:10,773 --> 00:05:12,771
- No, no, no, wait, wait!
There's nothing wrong with you.
125
00:05:12,819 --> 00:05:15,364
No, you're great.
You--you--you're wonderful.
126
00:05:16,161 --> 00:05:20,551
The reason we can't move in
together is--it's not you.
127
00:05:22,770 --> 00:05:24,441
It's Grace.
128
00:05:25,863 --> 00:05:27,361
- You make me happy
129
00:05:27,409 --> 00:05:30,041
and you're so good with Katie
and she adores you.
130
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,050
So what the hell,
let's do this.
131
00:05:32,462 --> 00:05:35,430
What's with the face?
Why isn't it a "yes" face?
132
00:05:36,266 --> 00:05:38,734
- I--I would.
I mean, I would, but...
133
00:05:38,782 --> 00:05:40,703
- But what?
What--what is it?
134
00:05:41,876 --> 00:05:43,423
- It's Will.
135
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:46,265
- What about her?
136
00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:48,062
- Well, she's gone through
some stuff, you know?
137
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:50,818
She's kind
of, um, well...
138
00:05:50,857 --> 00:05:52,990
she's mentally unstable.
139
00:05:54,708 --> 00:05:57,004
- He's...
140
00:05:57,043 --> 00:05:58,925
broke.
141
00:05:58,973 --> 00:06:00,684
Completely broke.
142
00:06:00,722 --> 00:06:02,105
- What, how?
143
00:06:02,143 --> 00:06:03,988
- Gambling.
144
00:06:04,910 --> 00:06:07,753
- How unstable?
- It's not good, McCoy.
145
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:10,971
.
146
00:06:11,009 --> 00:06:12,344
[shaker shaking]
147
00:06:12,393 --> 00:06:14,275
- Okay,
that's what that sound is.
148
00:06:14,314 --> 00:06:15,736
You know, upstairs, uh,
149
00:06:15,774 --> 00:06:17,868
we all thought someone
played the maracas.
150
00:06:18,953 --> 00:06:21,086
Isn't there, like,
another smaller maraca?
151
00:06:21,124 --> 00:06:22,296
- That would be this.
152
00:06:22,334 --> 00:06:24,467
[pill bottle shaking]
153
00:06:25,303 --> 00:06:27,022
- You're very musical.
154
00:06:27,061 --> 00:06:29,404
- Well, I've been playing
for years.
155
00:06:31,451 --> 00:06:32,709
- Hello, 911?
156
00:06:32,747 --> 00:06:34,341
Yes, uh, yes,
I called three times!
157
00:06:34,380 --> 00:06:36,848
Why isn't anybody here yet?
158
00:06:36,887 --> 00:06:39,308
Did you just call me ma'am?
159
00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:41,315
I am not a ma'am.
160
00:06:41,363 --> 00:06:44,869
No, I am a man.
I am not a ma'am.
161
00:06:44,917 --> 00:06:47,213
[high-pitched] Why would you
think I was a woman?
162
00:06:47,252 --> 00:06:48,635
[sighs]
163
00:06:48,673 --> 00:06:50,268
[knock on door]
- Grace, can I talk to you?
164
00:06:50,307 --> 00:06:51,517
- Uh, sure. Come on in.
165
00:06:51,565 --> 00:06:53,063
Don't say anything about
the gambling.
166
00:06:53,111 --> 00:06:54,571
- Hey, sorry you guys.
167
00:06:54,609 --> 00:06:56,118
[crunch]
Ow!
168
00:06:56,156 --> 00:06:58,336
Please tell me that's a shell
and not a toenail.
169
00:06:59,835 --> 00:07:01,132
- Grace said the maid
comes tomorrow
170
00:07:01,180 --> 00:07:03,063
so we could throw whatever
we want on the floor.
171
00:07:03,101 --> 00:07:05,233
- He's the maid.
172
00:07:05,271 --> 00:07:06,530
- Look at us.
173
00:07:06,568 --> 00:07:09,249
Just two working gals
in the big city.
174
00:07:09,287 --> 00:07:12,005
Punching in everyday
around 2:00,
175
00:07:12,044 --> 00:07:15,060
pushing papers till 3:30,
176
00:07:15,098 --> 00:07:17,356
then taking the Rolls
back to the manse,
177
00:07:17,394 --> 00:07:22,369
sleeping 16 hours and then it's
time to make the donuts.
178
00:07:22,418 --> 00:07:23,455
[chuckles]
179
00:07:23,503 --> 00:07:25,550
- You're like
my photo negative.
180
00:07:25,588 --> 00:07:27,845
- Hmm?
181
00:07:28,892 --> 00:07:31,323
- Ugh, God,
it does not look like
182
00:07:31,361 --> 00:07:32,533
we are getting out
of here tonight.
183
00:07:32,571 --> 00:07:34,328
- Oh, honey,
don't say that.
184
00:07:34,367 --> 00:07:36,375
- Girl, I just said it.
185
00:07:37,086 --> 00:07:38,132
- Honey.
186
00:07:38,171 --> 00:07:39,593
- Girl.
187
00:07:41,014 --> 00:07:42,686
- Honey.
188
00:07:42,734 --> 00:07:44,741
- Girl.
189
00:07:45,615 --> 00:07:49,045
- So, uh, can I talk to you
for a moment?
190
00:07:50,005 --> 00:07:51,638
- Oh, I leave.
That's how this works.
191
00:07:51,677 --> 00:07:53,136
- Mm-hmm.
192
00:07:53,184 --> 00:07:55,231
- Sorry, you know, I just have
a, uh, I have a problem.
193
00:07:55,269 --> 00:07:56,566
- Oh, I know.
194
00:07:56,614 --> 00:07:59,332
I mean, I--I don't know.
Why would I know?
195
00:08:00,245 --> 00:08:02,839
Oh, uh, forgot my wallet.
196
00:08:04,557 --> 00:08:07,727
I might need it for, um...
197
00:08:07,775 --> 00:08:09,860
no particular reason.
198
00:08:09,908 --> 00:08:12,329
Certainly trust you.
199
00:08:13,375 --> 00:08:15,422
- It's so hot.
200
00:08:15,460 --> 00:08:17,468
Why is it so hot in here?
201
00:08:17,516 --> 00:08:19,600
[panting]
202
00:08:19,648 --> 00:08:22,069
Must be...
203
00:08:22,107 --> 00:08:24,326
must be running out of oxygen.
204
00:08:26,247 --> 00:08:28,303
There's no other explanation.
205
00:08:30,224 --> 00:08:33,317
[audience cheering]
206
00:08:35,487 --> 00:08:36,746
- So...
207
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:38,245
Look, I--I need you
to back me up
208
00:08:38,293 --> 00:08:39,753
and--and don't ask
any questions.
209
00:08:39,791 --> 00:08:41,088
I told McCoy
210
00:08:41,136 --> 00:08:43,393
that you're mentally
and emotionally unstable.
211
00:08:43,432 --> 00:08:46,188
- What? And he believed you?
212
00:08:46,236 --> 00:08:48,571
- Instantly.
213
00:08:48,618 --> 00:08:49,867
He asked
to move in with me
214
00:08:49,915 --> 00:08:51,164
and I panicked.
215
00:08:51,212 --> 00:08:52,797
Just--so just back me up
on this, please!
216
00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:53,969
I'd do it for you.
217
00:08:54,008 --> 00:08:56,178
- Yeah, um,
let's test that out.
218
00:08:58,273 --> 00:09:02,499
I told Noah that you're an
out of control gambler.
219
00:09:02,537 --> 00:09:05,467
Also a thief, but that's really
just to support the gambling.
220
00:09:05,505 --> 00:09:06,764
Just...
221
00:09:06,802 --> 00:09:08,060
- [panting]
222
00:09:08,099 --> 00:09:10,817
Man, it's so hot.
I got to get out of here.
223
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:15,831
Think of a plan, Jack.
Think of a plan.
224
00:09:15,869 --> 00:09:17,675
Ooh, I got it!
225
00:09:18,963 --> 00:09:21,431
[screaming]
Help!
226
00:09:21,479 --> 00:09:23,352
- What is going on with them?
227
00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:26,993
- What is going on with us?
228
00:09:27,031 --> 00:09:29,087
Isn't this what
we both wanted?
229
00:09:29,125 --> 00:09:30,960
- Yeah.
230
00:09:32,382 --> 00:09:33,976
Then why didn't we say yes?
231
00:09:34,015 --> 00:09:35,610
- Maybe...
232
00:09:35,648 --> 00:09:37,156
maybe we like things
the way they are.
233
00:09:37,194 --> 00:09:38,616
- Yes, yes, we do.
234
00:09:38,655 --> 00:09:40,326
We're in a really good place.
We're comfortable.
235
00:09:40,374 --> 00:09:41,921
- Comfortable, exactly.
236
00:09:41,959 --> 00:09:43,543
You get to a certain age.
237
00:09:43,591 --> 00:09:44,552
Forty-s...
238
00:09:44,591 --> 00:09:46,349
both: Four.
239
00:09:46,973 --> 00:09:48,232
And--and you want comfort.
240
00:09:48,270 --> 00:09:49,739
- And there's nothing wrong
with that.
241
00:09:49,778 --> 00:09:51,161
- No, exactly.
242
00:09:51,199 --> 00:09:53,620
So we'll just--we'll just
tell the men, who love us,
243
00:09:53,668 --> 00:09:55,090
that we made up ridiculous lies
244
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:57,885
because we would rather
just live together.
245
00:09:59,268 --> 00:10:01,026
Forever.
246
00:10:01,064 --> 00:10:02,611
- [clears throat]
247
00:10:02,650 --> 00:10:05,829
Or we could keep the lies going
for a little while,
248
00:10:05,877 --> 00:10:07,126
buy us some time.
249
00:10:07,164 --> 00:10:08,845
- Now that's the kind
of short term thinking
250
00:10:08,883 --> 00:10:10,305
we gamblers like to hear.
251
00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:13,062
- And I think it's just crazy
enough to work.
252
00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:14,272
- Good, that's good.
253
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:15,617
That's good.
That's a good idea.
254
00:10:15,655 --> 00:10:16,913
- It's a great idea.
255
00:10:16,952 --> 00:10:18,201
I'm just gonna say it,
we're geniuses.
256
00:10:18,249 --> 00:10:20,334
- I'm gonna say it,
we're the better couple.
257
00:10:20,382 --> 00:10:22,552
- [blows raspberry]
258
00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:25,943
.
259
00:10:25,982 --> 00:10:27,192
[upbeat music]
260
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:29,363
- Will?
- No, it's me.
261
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:31,918
Will and Grace are doing
their Will and Grace thing.
262
00:10:31,956 --> 00:10:33,628
I don't know where to be.
263
00:10:34,386 --> 00:10:36,557
Wow, this place
is really clean.
264
00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:38,478
Where do you guys eat?
265
00:10:38,526 --> 00:10:40,322
- In the kitchen.
266
00:10:41,571 --> 00:10:43,080
- Hey, can I talk to you
for a minute?
267
00:10:43,118 --> 00:10:44,626
- Yeah, have a seat.
268
00:10:44,664 --> 00:10:47,094
- So listen...
269
00:10:47,133 --> 00:10:48,593
are these flannel sheets?
270
00:10:48,642 --> 00:10:50,523
- Yeah, they're really great on
a night like this.
271
00:10:50,563 --> 00:10:52,022
- I always wondered
what they felt like.
272
00:10:52,070 --> 00:10:53,405
- Be my guest.
273
00:10:55,701 --> 00:10:56,921
Don't feel weird,
274
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,966
I'm New York's
most trusted newsman.
275
00:11:00,015 --> 00:11:01,099
- Yeah, all right.
276
00:11:04,989 --> 00:11:06,863
Oh, wow.
- Mm-hmm.
277
00:11:06,910 --> 00:11:08,919
- Ooh, that's cozy.
278
00:11:08,957 --> 00:11:11,340
It's nice to be in a bed
where nothing crunches.
279
00:11:11,378 --> 00:11:12,636
- Hmm.
280
00:11:13,635 --> 00:11:15,441
[chuckles]
281
00:11:17,151 --> 00:11:20,118
- You have the most beautiful
skin I've ever seen.
282
00:11:21,502 --> 00:11:23,211
You're like a super-hot baby.
283
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:27,227
- I know, it's both
a blessing and a...
284
00:11:27,266 --> 00:11:29,609
actually, it's just a blessing.
285
00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:32,740
- So listen, uh, I just
want to put it out there.
286
00:11:32,789 --> 00:11:34,335
I know where Will
can get some help
287
00:11:34,373 --> 00:11:35,919
for his gambling problem.
288
00:11:35,959 --> 00:11:37,130
- Gambling problem?
289
00:11:37,178 --> 00:11:38,763
- You don't have to cover
for him, okay?
290
00:11:38,802 --> 00:11:39,772
Grace told me.
291
00:11:39,811 --> 00:11:42,529
- Oh, Grace told you.
292
00:11:45,074 --> 00:11:47,129
That must be so hard.
293
00:11:47,754 --> 00:11:49,839
Is she off her meds again?
294
00:11:51,222 --> 00:11:53,392
- You mean Gas-X?
295
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:54,775
No, no, she took one tonight.
296
00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:57,321
A little after the fact,
but still.
297
00:11:57,369 --> 00:12:00,588
- No, I'm talking about
her anti-psychotics.
298
00:12:01,298 --> 00:12:03,555
Will told me that she...
299
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,610
You know what?
300
00:12:06,648 --> 00:12:08,070
I think we've been lied to.
301
00:12:08,109 --> 00:12:10,702
- Nah, I--I find that hard
to believe.
302
00:12:10,750 --> 00:12:12,248
- Oh, sorry.
303
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:19,818
I think we've been lied to.
304
00:12:19,856 --> 00:12:22,449
- Oh, my God!
We've been lied to!
305
00:12:24,169 --> 00:12:25,841
- This is the NYPD.
306
00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:28,011
- Oh, thank God!
307
00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:30,307
- Remain calm, ma'am.
I'm coming down.
308
00:12:34,870 --> 00:12:37,252
- Wait, I know you.
309
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:40,508
Drew.
310
00:12:40,556 --> 00:12:41,930
- Jack?
311
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:44,946
- So what if I make a little
more effort than Malcolm?
312
00:12:44,984 --> 00:12:47,030
Are you saying that you've
never gone out of your way
313
00:12:47,078 --> 00:12:48,289
for your man?
314
00:12:48,327 --> 00:12:51,506
- No, but to be fair
my men are women.
315
00:12:55,771 --> 00:12:56,982
- Oh.
316
00:12:58,068 --> 00:12:59,989
You're a vagiterian.
317
00:13:04,090 --> 00:13:05,675
Question,
318
00:13:05,723 --> 00:13:08,768
are you permanently parked
in the lesbian zone
319
00:13:08,816 --> 00:13:12,197
or do you move your car
to alternate sides
320
00:13:12,245 --> 00:13:14,790
of the street from time to time
for plowing?
321
00:13:18,134 --> 00:13:20,439
- This car is parked
up on blocks
322
00:13:20,477 --> 00:13:23,147
with 100 tickets
on the windshield.
323
00:13:23,196 --> 00:13:24,194
- [sighs]
324
00:13:25,242 --> 00:13:26,913
Boils my blood!
325
00:13:26,962 --> 00:13:29,632
They still give tickets
for being gay!
326
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:33,022
- Karen,
I don't mean to judge but--
327
00:13:33,060 --> 00:13:35,357
look, if you're always taking
care of some guy,
328
00:13:35,404 --> 00:13:37,326
who takes care of you?
329
00:13:37,364 --> 00:13:39,458
- Besides pharmacists?
330
00:13:43,973 --> 00:13:46,268
I don't know,
I guess most of my life,
331
00:13:46,316 --> 00:13:48,276
I've taken care of myself.
332
00:13:49,323 --> 00:13:51,417
- Looks like we have more
in common than I thought.
333
00:13:53,251 --> 00:13:56,258
- Look, we know everything.
So no more lies.
334
00:13:56,306 --> 00:13:58,689
- Six months, you've been
telling me to take a leap,
335
00:13:58,727 --> 00:14:01,407
open up, and when I finally do,
you lie to me?
336
00:14:01,445 --> 00:14:02,828
- I'm sorry, it's just--
337
00:14:02,866 --> 00:14:04,624
- No, you know what?
Any excuse you're about to say
338
00:14:04,663 --> 00:14:06,670
I've used a thousand times,
so save it.
339
00:14:06,710 --> 00:14:08,093
Grace, make a choice.
340
00:14:08,131 --> 00:14:10,772
We either move forward in
this relationship or we don't.
341
00:14:10,811 --> 00:14:14,192
- Same here. We either move
in together or we're done.
342
00:14:14,239 --> 00:14:16,373
I'll do anything you want.
Don't leave me.
343
00:14:17,669 --> 00:14:19,552
[yelling]
Am I making myself clear?!
344
00:14:21,886 --> 00:14:23,480
- Can Will and I
just have a minute?
345
00:14:23,519 --> 00:14:26,363
- Okay, one minute.
- Yeah, one minute!
346
00:14:26,401 --> 00:14:28,783
Take your time.
I'm not going anywhere.
347
00:14:28,831 --> 00:14:30,791
One minute!
348
00:14:35,939 --> 00:14:37,774
- This whole comfortable thing
we came up with?
349
00:14:37,812 --> 00:14:39,032
- Complete crap.
350
00:14:39,071 --> 00:14:40,617
We were just using
each other as an excuse.
351
00:14:40,655 --> 00:14:42,375
- So what? Do we--
352
00:14:42,413 --> 00:14:44,671
do we go back there
and say yes?
353
00:14:45,631 --> 00:14:48,013
- Seems kind of fast,
they gave us a minute.
354
00:14:48,061 --> 00:14:51,491
- We should probably
do stuff like--like this.
355
00:14:52,576 --> 00:14:55,169
It's like we're balancing
our options.
356
00:14:56,044 --> 00:14:58,513
- Okay, and--and--and then
I'll--I'll point to myself.
357
00:14:58,551 --> 00:14:59,511
- Uh-huh.
358
00:14:59,559 --> 00:15:01,394
- Then I'll point to you.
- Mm-hmm.
359
00:15:02,729 --> 00:15:04,987
- Then I'll point
to myself again.
360
00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:07,628
- And then I'll be, like,
"Why didn't I think of that?
361
00:15:07,666 --> 00:15:09,300
Like why didn't that go
in here?"
362
00:15:09,338 --> 00:15:11,931
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- That in here. That in here.
363
00:15:11,970 --> 00:15:14,275
- What do you think
they're talking about?
364
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,408
- Nothing.
365
00:15:19,164 --> 00:15:21,085
- Ready?
366
00:15:21,124 --> 00:15:23,007
- Uh, okay.
367
00:15:23,055 --> 00:15:24,803
We made our decision.
368
00:15:24,850 --> 00:15:26,225
- We're moving in with you.
369
00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:27,896
I feel so excited about this!
370
00:15:27,944 --> 00:15:29,366
[both yelling excitedly]
371
00:15:29,404 --> 00:15:31,325
- They're moving in with us!
372
00:15:31,373 --> 00:15:32,708
[both chuckling]
373
00:15:32,747 --> 00:15:34,543
[audience cheering]
374
00:15:34,591 --> 00:15:36,263
- Hey, here's an idea.
How about we switch?
375
00:15:36,301 --> 00:15:37,598
- Oh, right.
376
00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:39,394
[yelling excitedly]
377
00:15:39,442 --> 00:15:41,900
♪
378
00:15:44,331 --> 00:15:44,744
.
379
00:15:44,792 --> 00:15:45,830
[upbeat music]
380
00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:48,173
- This is so crazy.
381
00:15:48,222 --> 00:15:49,383
So how have you been?
382
00:15:49,431 --> 00:15:51,766
- Yeah, I've been,
you know, okay.
383
00:15:51,814 --> 00:15:54,407
I've got to be honest with
you though, I've, um...
384
00:15:54,446 --> 00:15:56,079
I never stopped thinking
about you.
385
00:15:56,117 --> 00:15:57,914
- Well, of course.
386
00:15:57,962 --> 00:15:59,508
[zipping]
387
00:16:01,381 --> 00:16:02,803
You probably read the reviews
388
00:16:02,851 --> 00:16:05,060
of my new show
"Gaybraham Twinkin'."
389
00:16:06,069 --> 00:16:07,404
"Timeout New York" said,
390
00:16:07,452 --> 00:16:10,583
"Hopefully, the only gay
Abraham Lincoln musical
391
00:16:10,622 --> 00:16:12,466
we'll ever see."
392
00:16:17,269 --> 00:16:19,325
- Jack, I--I--come here.
393
00:16:19,363 --> 00:16:21,409
I made a huge mistake.
394
00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:23,128
I should've never broken up
with you.
395
00:16:23,167 --> 00:16:25,712
- Drew, I--I...
396
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,384
I'm getting married.
397
00:16:27,432 --> 00:16:29,602
- I mean, I was married
when we first met.
398
00:16:29,650 --> 00:16:30,985
- Yeah, to a woman.
399
00:16:31,946 --> 00:16:33,281
That doesn't count.
400
00:16:33,329 --> 00:16:34,789
It's just a way
to share health insurance
401
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:36,499
and double your wardrobe.
402
00:16:37,460 --> 00:16:39,516
- Tell me you haven't thought
about me.
403
00:16:40,389 --> 00:16:41,936
- I have.
404
00:16:41,975 --> 00:16:44,818
I've had this exact dream
so many times!
405
00:16:44,866 --> 00:16:47,661
Except we weren't
in an elevator.
406
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:49,966
- This isn't a dream.
407
00:16:50,004 --> 00:16:51,590
You know,
I'm here right now
408
00:16:51,638 --> 00:16:53,645
and, uh...
409
00:16:53,684 --> 00:16:55,231
my gay cop instincts
are telling me
410
00:16:55,269 --> 00:16:58,073
to charge you with intent
to get frisky.
411
00:16:58,112 --> 00:17:00,494
- Tell me, Officer,
what's the punishment
412
00:17:00,542 --> 00:17:02,588
for aggravated hanky-panky?
413
00:17:02,626 --> 00:17:04,721
[both chuckling]
414
00:17:07,977 --> 00:17:09,072
[radio static]
415
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,109
- Everything okay down there?
416
00:17:10,157 --> 00:17:11,406
- Yeah, yeah, um,
417
00:17:11,454 --> 00:17:13,500
uh, yeah, no need for backup
418
00:17:13,539 --> 00:17:15,546
and if you hear anything
that sounds like kissing,
419
00:17:15,594 --> 00:17:17,016
it's, um...
420
00:17:17,054 --> 00:17:19,773
it's probably not kissing.
421
00:17:19,811 --> 00:17:22,106
So...
422
00:17:22,154 --> 00:17:23,865
What do you say?
423
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:26,795
- This--this doesn't mean
we're getting back together.
424
00:17:26,833 --> 00:17:28,005
- Okay.
425
00:17:28,053 --> 00:17:30,934
- Because I--I'm
not calling off my wedding.
426
00:17:30,972 --> 00:17:31,933
- Okay.
427
00:17:31,981 --> 00:17:33,903
- I'm just a man
428
00:17:33,941 --> 00:17:36,746
towering over a smaller man
429
00:17:36,785 --> 00:17:39,080
trying to listen
to what his heart says.
430
00:17:39,128 --> 00:17:40,962
- What does his heart say?
431
00:17:41,635 --> 00:17:43,806
- His heart says...
432
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,610
Not to be this guy anymore.
433
00:17:47,658 --> 00:17:49,867
- What guy?
434
00:17:49,915 --> 00:17:51,749
- The guy that--[scoffs]
435
00:17:51,797 --> 00:17:53,594
takes the first opportunity
to cheat
436
00:17:53,632 --> 00:17:56,764
when the perfect man
drops from the sky.
437
00:17:56,812 --> 00:17:58,483
I'm sorry, Drew.
438
00:17:58,522 --> 00:18:00,654
No one can tempt me
more than you.
439
00:18:00,703 --> 00:18:05,630
You're a delicious, cocoa-sized
mini-marshmallow
440
00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:07,926
but love has changed me.
441
00:18:09,481 --> 00:18:11,067
- I guess the men
I've been with
442
00:18:11,105 --> 00:18:13,488
feel like I can
take care of myself.
443
00:18:13,535 --> 00:18:18,511
Given some of my lovers, I've
had to take care of myself.
444
00:18:19,260 --> 00:18:20,509
- [chuckles]
445
00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:22,689
- If you know what
I'm talking about.
446
00:18:23,689 --> 00:18:24,985
- I do.
447
00:18:25,033 --> 00:18:29,500
- I'm talking about making
my Venus feel Serena.
448
00:18:30,336 --> 00:18:33,803
[audience cheering]
449
00:18:34,389 --> 00:18:36,023
Mm-hmm.
450
00:18:36,445 --> 00:18:38,952
- Did not see that one coming.
451
00:18:39,913 --> 00:18:42,256
- Well, but you know
what they say,
452
00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:46,435
in every relationship, there's
a gardener and a flower.
453
00:18:46,473 --> 00:18:48,231
Guess I'm the gardener.
454
00:18:48,269 --> 00:18:50,200
- Oh, come on.
- What?
455
00:18:50,238 --> 00:18:52,496
- You're a flower
if I've ever seen one.
456
00:18:53,034 --> 00:18:55,551
- You think I'm a flower?
457
00:18:55,589 --> 00:18:56,924
- Definitely.
458
00:18:56,972 --> 00:18:59,355
And you deserve
to be taken care of.
459
00:19:00,939 --> 00:19:03,745
Hey, it stopped snowing.
460
00:19:03,783 --> 00:19:05,166
Uh, guess you can call
your pilot.
461
00:19:05,204 --> 00:19:07,461
I have never said
that sentence before.
462
00:19:09,431 --> 00:19:10,977
- Yeah.
463
00:19:11,015 --> 00:19:14,522
I guess I could,
but I don't think I will.
464
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:15,319
- Why?
465
00:19:15,367 --> 00:19:17,826
- Because right now
466
00:19:17,874 --> 00:19:20,295
I feel very taken care of.
467
00:19:31,495 --> 00:19:33,925
Oh, girl.
468
00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:38,017
[upbeat music]
469
00:19:38,065 --> 00:19:39,986
♪
470
00:19:40,024 --> 00:19:42,407
- Hey, scoot!
Grace is coming over!
471
00:19:43,665 --> 00:19:46,259
- Of course, but when
she actually moves out,
472
00:19:46,297 --> 00:19:48,603
she won't be here
all the time, right?
473
00:19:48,641 --> 00:19:50,811
- It's cute
that you'd ask that.
474
00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:53,953
- Hi!
475
00:19:53,991 --> 00:19:57,459
Uh, in bed with gay guys.
If I had a nickel.
476
00:19:57,507 --> 00:19:59,966
- [chuckles]
477
00:20:01,186 --> 00:20:02,271
- [chuckles]
478
00:20:02,309 --> 00:20:04,019
Why am I not surprised?
479
00:20:04,067 --> 00:20:06,699
- Climb in, Noah.
It's so cozy.
480
00:20:07,746 --> 00:20:09,332
- Yeah, all right.
32807
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