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1
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I'll change so fast.
2
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No, brah. Same time.
3
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It's 1044, dude. Okay, we got this. I am
not letting you miss your last NYC be
4
00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:22,360
easy, bitch.
5
00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:30,300
Great job. Great job.
6
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:32,560
Oh, Jesus Christ.
7
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Okay, come on, assistant. Come on. We
don't got time.
8
00:00:35,180 --> 00:00:36,180
Come on.
9
00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:39,660
Ma'am, children are dying.
10
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They're starving. They're still hungry.
11
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You need to feed them! From the moment
they're born, they're dying!
12
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This isn't the end!
13
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Get us!
14
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What?
15
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,680
Four and three and two and one.
16
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I can't believe the bodega
17
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with the best bacon egg and cheese is
literally gone.
18
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Okay, it's okay. We're going to get one
right now and forget that ever happened
19
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when we're taking painful
bacon-egg-and-cheese shits later, okay?
20
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:20,320
I can't wait.
21
00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:23,360
You're listening to Hot 97.
22
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Ugh, the sign.
23
00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:26,040
Let's lay on the charm.
24
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Oh my goodness.
25
00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:34,920
How much on the menu that looks
delicious.
26
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Yeah. What do we get?
27
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You know, I know it's late, but I really
would like some breakfast food.
28
00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:44,260
Hey, hunky boy. Hi.
29
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Hi.
30
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Can we get two bacon, egg, and cheese?
31
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Nope. No eggs after 11.
32
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You know what? This is this angel's
final.
33
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breakfast in New York City before she
goes and rebuilds homes for Christian
34
00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:06,340
tsunami victims. Okay, that's not true.
And you are going to deny her that? You
35
00:02:06,340 --> 00:02:08,100
are going to deny her this make-a-wish?
36
00:02:09,340 --> 00:02:10,340
Or shame?
37
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:12,680
Shame!
38
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:13,960
Shame!
39
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:15,160
Shame!
40
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:19,500
Yeah.
41
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:25,660
I'm just going to leave some money.
42
00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:27,610
That was... That was inappropriate.
43
00:02:31,730 --> 00:02:38,330
I feel better. Let's go.
44
00:02:39,290 --> 00:02:41,350
This is going to be... We got this.
45
00:02:41,550 --> 00:02:42,550
We got this.
46
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Jesus Christ.
47
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No.
48
00:02:46,650 --> 00:02:47,910
No, we're not doing this.
49
00:02:49,410 --> 00:02:55,170
I can't believe we couldn't find you one
last bacon, onion, and cheese before you
50
00:02:55,170 --> 00:02:56,059
go.
51
00:02:56,060 --> 00:02:58,320
I've failed you. No, you didn't, dude.
52
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:01,920
And also, maybe I, like, can buy the
ingredients so you can FaceTime while I
53
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:02,920
make it in Boulder.
54
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:05,299
Oh, God.
55
00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:10,280
It's not the bacon-naked cheese. It's
just... Oh, God! Where the fuck would
56
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,280
you go to Boulder?
57
00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:15,300
I mean, well, mainly for the residency
program. Yeah, yeah, residency, but...
58
00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:19,440
But what the fuck is the culture there?
Rocks? Where could you possibly find in
59
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,740
Boulder? What does Colorado have to
offer that New York City doesn't? Well,
60
00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:24,340
for one, recreational weed.
61
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:25,840
Oh.
62
00:03:26,589 --> 00:03:28,550
Right. Yeah, but you're going to come so
soon.
63
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:32,810
Oh, my God. I told you you can come
whenever you want. No, look.
64
00:03:35,050 --> 00:03:36,550
It is. It is.
65
00:03:37,930 --> 00:03:39,930
New York City, you've done it again.
66
00:03:40,550 --> 00:03:42,450
Abby, this is a wooshy toilet.
67
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,190
Don't you see?
68
00:03:44,270 --> 00:03:48,170
We thought we were on some classic Abby
and Alana New York City journey today.
69
00:03:48,230 --> 00:03:49,450
We thought it was for the bacon and
cheese.
70
00:03:49,750 --> 00:03:52,910
Yeah. When, in fact, this was our
mission all along.
71
00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,300
That's exactly the new mission now.
72
00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:01,339
This toilet.
73
00:04:01,340 --> 00:04:02,360
We're going to bring it back to my
house.
74
00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:04,960
Are you sure?
75
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,200
Abby, this is a woonchi.
76
00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:12,100
It's an intelligent toilet with a UV
light that breaks down the germs of
77
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:13,380
fecal matter in the bowl.
78
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:17,360
It has a heated seat and warm water that
sprays up your ass after you take a
79
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:18,360
dump, just like a bidet.
80
00:04:18,620 --> 00:04:20,940
God, every time you are sprayed, you are
reborn.
81
00:04:21,399 --> 00:04:23,500
Okay, Alana, this is someone else's.
This is gross.
82
00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:27,900
Just don't touch it so much. Abby, this
was our tiny little... permission for
83
00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:31,800
the day. Come on, it's a $10,000 toilet.
Wow. I need this.
84
00:04:35,060 --> 00:04:40,360
Yeah. Okay, yeah. Let's, you know what?
Let's take the toilet home. You won't
85
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:41,239
regret it, mister.
86
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,240
I'll get a cab. Okay.
87
00:04:43,580 --> 00:04:44,760
Yeah. Hey, yes.
88
00:04:46,260 --> 00:04:48,980
Okay. I'll do this. Like, like.
89
00:05:00,230 --> 00:05:01,350
Okay. Jesus.
90
00:05:02,230 --> 00:05:05,970
Uber's surging 60 times the normal rate.
Okay, I'll just call a solicitor.
91
00:05:06,430 --> 00:05:08,150
My rating is very low.
92
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:11,010
Probably from the pee incident.
93
00:05:11,390 --> 00:05:13,290
Again, sorry about that. Totally fine.
94
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:16,390
All right. How are we going to get this
toilet back to Brooklyn?
95
00:05:32,270 --> 00:05:33,270
That's right.
96
00:05:36,270 --> 00:05:37,810
Kids are suckers, man.
97
00:05:38,290 --> 00:05:39,810
Seventy bucks for an old skateboard?
98
00:05:40,150 --> 00:05:41,150
Too easy.
99
00:05:42,270 --> 00:05:44,810
I can't believe we never walked across
the Brooklyn Bridge together.
100
00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:47,910
Yeah, it's kind of nuts that we've
managed to do it individually.
101
00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:50,070
I mean, we're almost always together.
102
00:05:52,170 --> 00:05:54,470
I don't know. I'm really proud of you,
dude.
103
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:58,700
I mean, obviously, for going back to
school, become the most badass therapist
104
00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:02,960
New York City has ever seen. But also
for the phone waves, dude. I mean, I
105
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:06,520
really feel like you have something
there. Like, that is legs, you know?
106
00:06:06,940 --> 00:06:11,500
We have so many dope ideas. We have to
make sure we keep up the brainstorming
107
00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:12,339
sessions going.
108
00:06:12,340 --> 00:06:13,400
It's really important.
109
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:20,280
I mean, I strongly, strongly believe in
the joint gynecologist slash waxing
110
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:23,400
slash laser hair removal thing. Oh,
yeah. It's like a one-stop shop.
111
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:24,780
Come on, that's genius.
112
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,680
I mean, I still also believe in the
Dorito dust.
113
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:31,700
I mean, I'm just eating the chip for the
dust. Exactly. And it's just like cut
114
00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:35,620
out the middleman and get me a vial
straight of that dust for spicing or for
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00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:40,800
swigging. I just found out, dude, that
Doritos are tortilla chips.
116
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,120
Wild. I mean, no one talks about that.
No.
117
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,120
Abby,
118
00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:50,260
I've been thinking a lot about this
whole end of the world thing. If the
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apocalypse happens, we're not going to
be in the same city.
120
00:06:53,409 --> 00:06:57,270
Shit. If we're not in the same city, how
are we supposed to find each other?
121
00:06:58,210 --> 00:07:01,810
Once the electricity goes down, all the
banks are going to be halved and
122
00:07:01,810 --> 00:07:04,270
drained. That's exactly what is going to
happen.
123
00:07:05,410 --> 00:07:08,310
You know what? First thing you do when
you get to Boulder, you go to the bank.
124
00:07:08,570 --> 00:07:12,090
You take out a shit ton of cash. I'm
talking half your savings, okay? You go
125
00:07:12,090 --> 00:07:14,150
back to your dorm. You find a loose
floorboard.
126
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:18,010
You pry it open and you stuff the cash
in there. You create a hidden nook.
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00:07:18,110 --> 00:07:19,110
Shit's going to be nuts.
128
00:07:19,370 --> 00:07:22,630
I love hidden nooks. I'm on it. I read
this article.
129
00:07:22,950 --> 00:07:24,270
Well, have mine.
130
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:28,080
That said, that only four days after it
all goes dark, New Yorkers are going to
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00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:31,700
start killing each other. We've got to
get out of the cities and have cash on
132
00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:34,660
hand. Yeah, we're also going to need
those straws that allow you to drink
133
00:07:34,660 --> 00:07:35,479
your own pee.
134
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:38,640
Ooh. We're going to need to get that gel
that marathoners use for, like, energy
135
00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:39,359
and shit.
136
00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:42,420
Oh, we're also going to need to get
those pants that zip and become short so
137
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:45,300
you have both. You're going to have to
stock up on your contact lenses, but I
138
00:07:45,300 --> 00:07:49,400
really, really think you should consider
doing LASIK for real. Good call. Good
139
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,360
call. Okay, where should we plan to meet
up? All right, why don't I pull up a
140
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:53,360
map?
141
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,560
Hold on.
142
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:58,800
All right, well, it looks like St. Louis
is right in the middle. I mean, we could
143
00:07:58,800 --> 00:07:59,840
meet right in the middle of the arch.
144
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:01,040
This is so funny.
145
00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:03,820
Colorado is where I thought Montana was.
146
00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:06,560
You're going to be actually where I
thought Oklahoma was.
147
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:08,140
That's cool. Mormons are dope.
148
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,900
Well, I think Utah is actually a Mormon
area.
149
00:08:11,380 --> 00:08:12,680
Oh, right, right, right.
150
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:14,880
Momo's still dope, though. Yeah.
151
00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:18,360
Okay, Abby, promise me when you get to
Colorado, you're also going to get a
152
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,500
bike. Because that's why everybody's
going to be killing each other for the
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00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,500
gas.
154
00:08:21,630 --> 00:08:23,050
Bikes are the OG best friends of people.
155
00:08:23,390 --> 00:08:24,810
Okay, I'll get a bike.
156
00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:26,610
Hey, let's stop over here for a second.
157
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:35,350
Should we ride something?
158
00:08:36,429 --> 00:08:37,429
Yeah.
159
00:08:41,530 --> 00:08:42,530
Yeah.
160
00:08:48,930 --> 00:08:51,110
So should we, uh, should we jump?
161
00:08:53,130 --> 00:08:54,130
Yeah.
162
00:08:55,790 --> 00:08:56,990
No, seriously, show a job.
163
00:08:59,390 --> 00:09:01,590
We can't. We have our big dinner date
tonight.
164
00:09:01,890 --> 00:09:05,490
You said the reservations were, like,
really hard to get. True. We gotta go.
165
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:14,310
Alana, I'm really scared.
166
00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:20,450
I'm, like, I'm moving across the
country, and, like...
167
00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:23,300
Changing my whole life?
168
00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:24,880
I mean, I'm not going to know anybody.
169
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:27,740
I'm really scared of the change, too.
170
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:30,940
But we're both going to be better for
it.
171
00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:32,940
You really think so?
172
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:34,900
I know it.
173
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:35,960
I know it.
174
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:43,020
You know, Alana, me and you, it's still
going to be us.
175
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:44,480
No matter what.
176
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:46,160
That's never going to change.
177
00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:49,500
Even if we're in different cities,
that's never going to change.
178
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:55,600
It is going to change.
179
00:09:56,700 --> 00:10:01,660
But it's still going to be the most
beautiful,
180
00:10:01,820 --> 00:10:08,560
deep, real, cool
181
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:13,100
and hot, meaningful, important
relationship of my life.
182
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:15,400
Me too.
183
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,060
I've never felt so cool.
184
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,180
I've never felt so cool.
185
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,500
Really. Not as cool as when I'm with
you.
186
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:23,760
Me neither.
187
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:30,520
Abby, I don't think I can go to this
dinner tonight.
188
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,900
I just, I can't say goodbye again.
189
00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:37,000
You know, this is, this is too perfect.
190
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,600
Wait, Elena, no. We were going to
splurge and get like the whole bottle of
191
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:45,220
wine. I know, but I can't do it. I'm
really sorry.
192
00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:48,160
You know what? You take the Woonji.
193
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:51,160
You'll be the envy of your whole dorm.
194
00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:52,500
It's not a dorm.
195
00:11:59,150 --> 00:12:01,270
Thank God you picked up. I fell asleep.
196
00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:03,350
I was sunbathing nude on the roof again.
197
00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:05,750
You were?
198
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:10,550
Yeah. Anyway, the door locked behind me.
Can you come up and bring my kimono? I'm
199
00:12:10,550 --> 00:12:12,130
extremely sunburned.
200
00:12:12,370 --> 00:12:13,370
Everywhere.
201
00:12:14,570 --> 00:12:17,990
All right, Bevers, you know, cover
yourself up. I don't want to see your
202
00:12:17,990 --> 00:12:18,969
sunburned penis.
203
00:12:18,970 --> 00:12:20,190
Open your eyes.
204
00:12:21,150 --> 00:12:23,550
No. It's kosher, Duke. Open them up.
205
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:25,870
Surprise!
206
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:37,600
God, come on. My girl's got to have a
proper royal queen send-off.
207
00:12:38,660 --> 00:12:43,480
And sorry about the bridge before. I was
very much processing this all at once,
208
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:44,980
but then I'll try to leave to set this
up.
209
00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:51,560
Well, this is the cutest thing I have
ever seen, but I have to change. Yeah,
210
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:52,600
of course. Guys!
211
00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:16,000
Yeah, I'm really happy to see you. Oh, I
got you something.
212
00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:19,940
They're free weights.
213
00:13:20,780 --> 00:13:24,440
Thank you so much. I'll try to put them
in my carry-on. Cool.
214
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:26,480
You all right?
215
00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:30,500
Yeah, I got it. Okay. I've always said
Abby and incremental free weights match
216
00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:31,500
made in heaven. Yeah.
217
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:33,320
You're really special to me, Abby.
218
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,380
You're really special to me, too.
219
00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:38,920
Well, then I guess it's now or never.
220
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:42,070
Abby. Gary, Anna, Abram.
221
00:13:42,970 --> 00:13:44,010
Will you marry me?
222
00:13:45,690 --> 00:13:46,690
Oh.
223
00:13:46,790 --> 00:13:47,850
Oh, Trey.
224
00:13:48,350 --> 00:13:49,350
Don't you care?
225
00:13:49,890 --> 00:13:51,090
No. Right?
226
00:13:52,410 --> 00:13:53,530
Right. Yeah, no.
227
00:13:54,330 --> 00:13:55,330
Yeah, no.
228
00:13:56,210 --> 00:14:00,570
You know what? It was a big swing. No,
no, no. I just figured this is my last
229
00:14:00,570 --> 00:14:02,550
chance, you know? So, it's cool.
230
00:14:03,070 --> 00:14:05,850
Maria, cut the video, okay? Delete it.
She said no.
231
00:14:07,450 --> 00:14:09,450
Okay, well, I should probably go.
232
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:13,180
because you said no to my proposal, but
promise me you'll eat for your blood
233
00:14:13,180 --> 00:14:14,180
type, okay?
234
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:15,720
Okay, done.
235
00:14:16,460 --> 00:14:17,460
Here you go.
236
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:20,800
All right, thank you so much. All right,
please take it. Enough time to show off
237
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:24,840
your rock hard tits and your Adonis ass.
It's time to leave and exit, dog. Okay,
238
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,960
I was just saying goodbye, and I took up
work for this.
239
00:14:27,220 --> 00:14:28,220
You did? That sucks.
240
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:31,040
You know what else sucks? When your best
friend moves away and everybody's out
241
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:32,880
for FaceTime for her. Get out of here.
242
00:14:33,180 --> 00:14:35,220
But maybe we'll be friends. I don't have
any lies.
243
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:37,560
You cordially stole it.
244
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,140
I'm going to miss you.
245
00:14:49,420 --> 00:14:50,680
I'm going to miss you too, Link.
246
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,720
How's Alana doing? I haven't talked to
her yet.
247
00:14:53,160 --> 00:15:00,160
Yeah, Alana is a... You know what?
Alana's going to be
248
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,280
great. I'll check it.
249
00:15:01,540 --> 00:15:02,800
Okay. All right.
250
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:04,019
I'll catch up.
251
00:15:04,020 --> 00:15:06,080
Enough. Get out of here. Go, go.
252
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,280
What are you, Abby's friend?
253
00:15:11,220 --> 00:15:12,220
Hey. Hi.
254
00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:14,620
Thank you for inviting me. Yeah, you're
welcome.
255
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,860
You're Abby's friend too, you know?
Yeah.
256
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:23,620
We're no longer dating, right? And we're
going to keep growing our real yet
257
00:15:23,620 --> 00:15:25,000
platonic friendship.
258
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:28,000
And that means honesty.
259
00:15:28,540 --> 00:15:31,720
So I'm going to be honest with you.
260
00:15:33,420 --> 00:15:34,680
You've got to get the fuck out of here.
261
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,700
Yeah, time to go. Yep.
262
00:15:37,260 --> 00:15:40,140
I heard about grad school. Jaime told
me. I wanted to congratulate you.
263
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:41,820
Yeah, you're a good guy. We all know it.
Go.
264
00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:45,460
Party's over, bitch.
265
00:15:45,780 --> 00:15:47,640
I know it's scary, you know, moving
away.
266
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:51,100
But it's good to remind ourselves of the
other places besides New York City.
267
00:15:51,620 --> 00:15:52,680
Beautiful places.
268
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:54,500
And New Jersey.
269
00:15:55,700 --> 00:15:56,700
It's going to be great.
270
00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:58,080
Yeah. Stop.
271
00:15:58,360 --> 00:15:59,700
Okay. Jesus. Hi.
272
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,020
Who are all these people?
273
00:16:03,610 --> 00:16:06,770
Um, there are people from your building.
I just needed to fill the party out.
274
00:16:06,990 --> 00:16:11,010
Nice. Can't wait for brunch next
weekend. Jersey City is pretty damn lit.
275
00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:12,390
Mm-hmm. Yes, it is.
276
00:16:13,490 --> 00:16:14,490
Go now, though.
277
00:16:15,070 --> 00:16:16,070
What?
278
00:16:16,270 --> 00:16:19,730
To... To leave. To exit and leave. Good
to see you, boy.
279
00:16:20,030 --> 00:16:20,889
Love ya!
280
00:16:20,890 --> 00:16:21,890
Hi,
281
00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:28,090
guys. Thank you so much for coming. You
can leave. Come on. Go.
282
00:16:28,790 --> 00:16:31,810
Okay. So the exit is that way. Yay!
283
00:16:39,189 --> 00:16:40,189
Okay,
284
00:16:42,070 --> 00:16:46,250
I'm almost here. I'm almost here. Now we
can connect. Right.
285
00:16:48,170 --> 00:16:51,710
Well, I'm going to stay at my own place
tonight.
286
00:16:52,830 --> 00:16:54,810
I'm going to give you two broads some
privacy.
287
00:16:55,490 --> 00:16:57,530
And I have a present for you.
288
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,150
You didn't have to get me anything.
289
00:16:59,390 --> 00:17:04,690
Oh, well, it's just... So you can store
your cheese in here.
290
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:09,920
Everyone will know whose cheese it is
and they won't be able to take it from
291
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:10,920
you anymore.
292
00:17:11,819 --> 00:17:17,640
I love
293
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:21,540
it. It's perfect.
294
00:17:22,099 --> 00:17:23,520
And we'll see each other again.
295
00:17:24,780 --> 00:17:26,520
Yeah. All right.
296
00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:29,020
Brunch with Felix tomorrow at 2.
297
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,700
And then a movie. My choice. Clear your
schedule, bitch.
298
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,160
Thanks for the party.
299
00:17:43,420 --> 00:17:44,420
My pleasure.
300
00:17:46,420 --> 00:17:47,420
Ready?
301
00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:49,020
Disney. Go.
302
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,620
Euro-loving Aryan nation preteen porn.
303
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:56,120
Walt Disney was, like, jizzing,
basically, for rich Euros and feudal
304
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:59,420
lords. And Mickey Mouse was supposed to
represent a dirty little Jew.
305
00:17:59,980 --> 00:18:03,000
Straight up. He was, like, on the ship,
you know what I mean? He was, like,
306
00:18:03,020 --> 00:18:07,300
plottin' and seemin' a dirty little Jew,
which I love to plottin' games. I'm
307
00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:08,420
like, you got me, Walt.
308
00:18:11,770 --> 00:18:14,690
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay. Who do I want? Who do I
309
00:18:14,690 --> 00:18:15,930
want? I know.
310
00:18:16,310 --> 00:18:18,150
Ready? From inside the mouth.
311
00:18:18,970 --> 00:18:19,970
Oh,
312
00:18:20,270 --> 00:18:24,750
the Kennedys. Ooh, thank you. The
Kennedys. Obviously, first of all, sex
313
00:18:24,750 --> 00:18:27,030
addicts. Second of all, they killed
Marilyn Monroe.
314
00:18:27,310 --> 00:18:29,870
Wait, hold on. I thought Marilyn Monroe
died of a drug overdose.
315
00:18:32,210 --> 00:18:35,810
The government killed her because she
knew too much. Like, she just knew stuff
316
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:38,690
about... Yeah, she knew about their
bodies. She knew about their policies.
317
00:18:39,889 --> 00:18:45,950
Like, where did you hear that? I will
double check, but it's widely known.
318
00:18:46,490 --> 00:18:47,490
It's widely known.
319
00:18:47,890 --> 00:18:48,890
Right.
320
00:18:49,390 --> 00:18:51,390
Well, these are going to come in handy
for when I'm lonely.
321
00:18:53,190 --> 00:18:54,190
Okay, another one.
322
00:18:57,330 --> 00:18:59,230
The post office.
323
00:18:59,830 --> 00:19:03,170
Okay, so the way that the post office
controls women is...
324
00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:12,330
I'm sorry, dude.
325
00:20:12,710 --> 00:20:15,510
We sang about a million times. I didn't
know how to do this one.
326
00:20:15,810 --> 00:20:17,130
Yeah, but I got you something.
327
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:18,750
It's a go bag.
328
00:20:20,230 --> 00:20:23,990
The apocalypse will happen, and I will
meet you at St.
329
00:20:24,230 --> 00:20:25,230
Louis.
330
00:20:36,890 --> 00:20:37,970
I'm so proud of you.
331
00:20:39,420 --> 00:20:43,260
I'm so proud of you, too. Dude, really,
you are, like, the smartest person I
332
00:20:43,260 --> 00:20:44,260
know.
333
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:45,680
Really?
334
00:20:46,260 --> 00:20:49,340
Yeah, are you kidding me? I'm, like, the
only person you know.
335
00:20:50,940 --> 00:20:54,760
For real, though, Alana, you, like,
you're going to kill it. I'm so excited
336
00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:56,860
for everything for you.
337
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:01,600
You've got so much, so much inside of
you.
338
00:21:04,460 --> 00:21:06,060
You have so much to give.
339
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:14,560
so much all wrapped up and you're just
letting it unroll i mean i don't even
340
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:18,840
feel like i was like alive before i met
you you like taught me taught me how to
341
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:25,780
do it dude we're alive until now this is
really brave and it's
342
00:21:25,780 --> 00:21:31,720
the right thing i wouldn't have been
able to do it with you come on you dumb
343
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:32,980
broads this is
344
00:21:37,269 --> 00:21:43,530
You're so beautiful from the inside out.
No, dude, you are.
345
00:21:43,850 --> 00:21:44,850
Really.
346
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:45,970
Okay, go.
347
00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:47,550
Go, go, go, go, go.
348
00:21:47,830 --> 00:21:48,830
You got this.
349
00:21:49,710 --> 00:21:50,710
You got this.
350
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:04,520
Dude.
351
00:23:05,260 --> 00:23:06,740
Insane. Walking in?
352
00:23:07,300 --> 00:23:11,080
Disgusting. Well, thank you for keeping
me up to date on all of New York's most
353
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:12,080
current events. Yeah.
354
00:23:13,300 --> 00:23:14,300
How have you been?
355
00:23:14,340 --> 00:23:19,080
Well, since last night, I went to sleep,
and then I woke up, and then I went to
356
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,540
the coffee shop, my coffee shop. Cool,
cool.
357
00:23:22,380 --> 00:23:26,080
I also went to sleep and woke up, so we
are on the same schedule.
358
00:23:26,380 --> 00:23:29,220
Ew, you know what happened to me today?
I bump into this girl, and I was like,
359
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:30,900
sorry, and she was like, you're fine.
360
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:32,800
Ew, you're fine?
361
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:33,979
Fuck her.
362
00:23:33,980 --> 00:23:36,440
Right? I'm like, I know I'm fine, at
least.
363
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,880
Just say, it's okay. I mean, that's not
even part of my vocabulary. You have to
364
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:41,740
be, like, trained for that to be a
response.
365
00:23:42,260 --> 00:23:44,600
That's right. Don't tell me my value,
because you know what? I'm actually
366
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:45,600
fine.
367
00:23:45,900 --> 00:23:47,760
Oh, you fine, baby. You too.
368
00:23:48,100 --> 00:23:49,200
All right, listen, I gotta go.
369
00:23:49,660 --> 00:23:51,160
I'll call you when I leave the studio,
okay?
370
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:52,480
Ooh, the studio.
371
00:23:52,580 --> 00:23:54,280
Okay. Love you, baby. All right, love
you too.
372
00:24:30,340 --> 00:24:31,340
I don't know.
373
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,160
I think one of them played for the
Knicks.
374
00:24:42,659 --> 00:24:46,540
Wow. Did you just make change with a
homeless guy? First of all, it's a man
375
00:24:46,540 --> 00:24:49,960
without a home. Second, we gonna act
like he ain't got no small bills?
376
00:25:10,490 --> 00:25:12,870
Information inside your brain is just
vast.
377
00:25:13,910 --> 00:25:16,890
Vast, and then also there's nothing.
Yeah, but good nothing. You're, like,
378
00:25:16,930 --> 00:25:18,070
just smart.
379
00:25:18,370 --> 00:25:19,730
You know what I mean? Am I, though?
380
00:25:19,930 --> 00:25:23,550
Yes. You're so smart. I wouldn't say it
like, you know, reading and writing,
381
00:25:23,610 --> 00:25:24,610
but...
28233
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