All language subtitles for Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024).DVD.NonHI.en.LNSGT

Uh, Sweden.

I'm... I'm... Swedish

but I speak a little English.

We're coming on board.

All are welcome.

All are welcome.

Even the little one. He can come too.

Welcome.

Why are you here?

Just a little sailing holiday.

A jolly boys trip.

Take your hands off.

Papers? Passport?

Here you go.

Any other people on the boat?

Just the two of us.

Nein.

Come, come,

we have lots to eat...

Take your dirty hands off me!

Back off!

And you, put your hands in the air!

Ooh!

You're in trouble now!

You've been a naughty boy!

I'll give you 100 francs to shoot him.

Don't shoot me!

He hates Germans.

You should really shoot him.

I... I'm sorry. You are very scary.

Make him walk the plank.

He loves wood.

Dirty drunken animal!

Guilty as charged.

I always take

a can of kerosene

for just these sort of occasions.

It's been a while,

but the last time someone laughed at me

when I boarded their vessel,

I gave them the choice.

Either swim to shore

or take their chances on a burning ship.

Hans and I wondered

which option they'd choose,

death by water or death by fire.

Oddly, they chose both.

They waited

until the very last moment,

until their hair was on fire,

and their blistered skin

peeled from their fingers,

before they immersed themselves in water

in the vain hope

of reaching shore.

One of them sank immediately and perished.

But to our amazement, the big one,

he showed great spirit.

In spite of all the odds...

...he painstakingly made it to shore.

We followed and cheered him on

and rewarded this impressive achievement

with a bullet

to the back of his head.

Isn't that funny?

Why aren't you laughing?

Nice work, Lassen.

There's more where they came from.

Yes.

Ah...

Not sure it's working, Lassen.

The captain looks rather agitated.

They're bringing their guns to bear.

They'll find their range soon, sir.

Freddy, should we be worried?

Oh, I don't think so, sir.

It's a rather large explosive,

so I set a rather large fuse.

I located the outside of the powder room,

so when it goes bang,

it really should go bang.

Closer...

Should be any second now, chaps.

Freddy?

Good work, Frederick.

Thank you, Captain.

Now, any chance you can tell us

what we're doing here, sir?

The war in Europe rages on

as Hitler and his Nazi horde

sweep aside all in their path.

Poland, Belgium and now France

have all fallen

to Hitler's fascist regime,

leaving Britain holding up the final hopes

of liberation for all of Europe.

So, come on, Blighty,

get ready for a fighty.

But we cannot do it alone.

And any hope for our American brothers

to join us from across the Atlantic

remains frustrated by Germany's

secret weapon, the U-boat.

These deadly little submarines

hunt at will in the North Atlantic.

Undetectable, the U-boat

sinks ships indiscriminately,

whether carrying munitions, provisions

or civilians heading

from our companions across the pond.

So long as the U-boats rule the Atlantic,

it remains impossible

for America's brave troops

to reach our shores.

Will Britain be forced

to appease Hitler's plans

or face devastation from his offensive?

London burns and her seas run red,

as bombs from above

and torpedoes from below

grind the Brits down.

And with no defense

against these lethal U-boats,

it appears all hope may be lost

for peace in Europe.

The Germans cut off

our supply chain with U-boats,

we cut off the supply chain

to the U-boats.

Through our intelligence agents,

we've found a way.

The entire

servicing, repairing, and rearming

of Hitler's Atlantic U-boat fleet...

is operated by two Nazi tug boats...

and an Italian supply ship in Fernando Po.

I need men who are willing

to go and sink those ships.

Why don't we just air-raid Fernando Po

and sink the ships?

Because crafty Germans,

being crafty Germans,

have positioned themselves

in a Spanish colony.

Fernando Po is neutral territory.

If we attack that colony,

the rest of unoccupied Europe

will join the Nazis,

and it's only a question of time

before we find ourselves

frying big pink sausages

wearing nothing but lederhosen.

Hitler is not playing by the rules

and neither are we.

This will of course be an unsanctioned,

unauthorized and unofficial mission.

If they're captured by the British,

they'll be thrown in jail.

But if the Nazis find them...

it's torture and death.

Somewhat contentiously,

I may have just the man,

but rather inconveniently,

he's currently incarcerated

at His Majesty's pleasure.

We may not like his attitude,

but he's bold, he's a killer,

and the men will follow him anywhere.

Are we sure this is a good idea?

Of course we're not.

But we're desperate.

- Send him in.

Forward!

Stand there, Major.

Thank you, Sergeant.

Gus March-Phillips,

this is Lieutenant Commander...

Fleming. Ian Fleming.

He used to be at Naval Intelligence,

now he works for me.

Why am I here, M?

I have a mission I want you to lead.

Why are you asking me, M?

Help yourself to a cup of tea, Major.

We both know that I'm...

not very popular with the administration.

The reason they find you unattractive

is the very reason I find you attractive.

Mission?

Operation Postmaster.

To neutralize the German U-boats

in the North Atlantic.

- And, uh, what's the plan?

The U-boats need

- fuel and torpedoes.

- Oh.

But they also need

carbon dioxide filters for oxygen.

Without them, they can't dive

and they can't hunt.

Stuck on the surface, they're obsolete.

Target?

The Duchessa d'Aosta.

She's an Italian ship

the Germans have been using...

...to refuel, re-arm and replenish

the CO2 filters for the entire fleet.

She's hidden off the coast of West Africa.

A small island called Fernando Po.

We want you to, um, sink her.

You'll be posing as fishermen

sailing down the west coast

on board a trawler

loaded with enough explosives

to destroy the Duchessa.

This is Agents Heron and Stewart.

They'll be working

undercover on the island.

Mr. Heron's already established there,

running various businesses.

What businesses?

A casino bar, and illegal exports game.

Profitable?

- I do quite well.

High-ranking Nazis

are my most valued clients.

Good for you.

Miss Stewart, an actress and singer,

has been training with us

for the last two years.

She'll be posing

as a gold trader from New York.

Her mission is to seduce and distract

the island's

Commanding Officer Heinrich Luhr.

She's very capable and somewhat motivated.

Motivated how, sir?

My mother's side were German Jews.

They were the first to go.

Very sorry to hear that.

I'm sure you'll recover.

We have 44 days

before the Nazis move their operation.

We won't find them again.

If I'm to do this, I'll need my own team.

You won't like them. They're all, uh...

mad.

They'll need to be. Give us their names.

Henry Hayes.

A smart, young Irishman

who hates the Nazis

because his older brother,

who was a close friend of mine,

drowned after a U-boat

sank his fishing trawler.

I've taken him under my wing ever since.

He's cunning, quiet and wily.

More to the point,

Hayes is a magnificent sailor

and I trust him.

If we're going

to try and sink a large ship,

we'll need Freddy "The Buzz" frogman.

He can swim across the channel

with his feet tied together.

Admittedly, he's a convicted arsonist

and a terrible misery

unless he's destroying something.

But he's very good at blowing things up.

Next, we'll need the Danish hammer.

Anders Lassen.

Grew up wrestling bears

and hunting elk on his family estate.

He's a legend with a Bowie knife

and a bow and arrow.

He ran away at 18 to fight the Nazis

after the Gestapo tortured

his brother to death.

He gave up filleting game

for gutting Nazis.

He then turned up on our shores

ready to fight alongside us.

He is an uncontrollable mad dog

who knows a hundred creative ways

to kill a man.

And finally,

and most importantly,

we'll need Geoffrey Appleyard.

Yes, we thought you might.

That's why we sent him

on a reconnaissance mission

to Fernando Po.

Unfortunately,

the Nazis nabbed him on his return.

All the more reason.

He knows what we need to know.

He's a master planner,

a master survivor, a chess grand master

and a surgeon with the blade.

We spent two weeks together

in a Dunkirk foxhole

and if it wasn't for Apple,

I would still be there today.

No Apple, no mission.

I'm afraid that's impossible.

Why?

Because he's being held

by an entire German garrison on La Palma.

La Palma's on the way.

- That's insanity.

- You let me worry about that.

I must get me one of those coats.

Now, any chance you can tell us

what we're doing here, sir?

Dry yourself off, frogman,

and I'll tell you.

The curiosity is eating us all up, sir.

I apologize

for all the secrecy, chaps.

But this is an unsanctioned,

unofficial

and unauthorized mission.

If we're picked up by the Brits,

we will all go to jail.

If we're picked up by the Germans,

torture and death.

- So, it's just the four of us then?

- And Captain Appleyard.

He's responsible

for securing this information.

He is, however, in a spot of bother.

He is being held

by the Germans on La Palma.

Our first job is to liberate him.

- Oh, so, that's all, is it?

No.

We need to confirm

Appleyard's intelligence.

That's why there are two more agents

on their way to Fernando Po by train,

as we speak.

Doing what, exactly?

They'll be ensuring that those ships

are filled with supplies,

so they're worth blowing up

in the first place.

It's one thing

taking over the world,

but do they have to

take over the kitchen too?

It's all sausage, cabbage and black bread.

Who would you have preferred?

The French offer

the refined classical take.

Côte de boeuf, fromage, le beurre...

- ça suffit!

What about the rustic

spontaneity of the Italians?

Their oils, the linguine, the tomatoes.

I'd climb over the linguine

to get to the fettuccine.

But the cinghiale.

Mmm.

You have me with the wild boar.

But then again, the Spanish offer

the smorgasbord

of the regional paella and tapas.

And jamón ibérico Andalucía.

So?

We're between a rock and a hard place.

If the Brits win the war,

we're stuck with fish and chips.

If the Germans win the war,

we're stuck with this menu.

So?

We'll have the sausage, the cabbage

- and the black bread please.

Très bien. Merci.

Our situation?

Steady.

Steady.

Now.

Mmm.

I'm exhausted.

Entschuldigung, bitte.

Halt!

Is there a problem?

I can manage

myself, thank you.

Allow me, Miss Stewart.

Allow me.

Thank you.

Prost!

Door.

Locked.

Case?

Working on it.

Sir, contact.

- Contact.

Standing by.

Duchessa's manifest. Ready?

- Ready.

- 400 B-grade torpedoes. Check.

400 B-grade torpedoes.

Check.

Check.

5,000 tons of diesel. Check.

5,000 tons of diesel.

- Lieutenant.

Yes, sir?

Check.

Check.

10,000 carbon dioxide filters. Check.

End of message from Stork, sir.

Confirm receipt.

Receipt confirmed.

Urgent, Chequers.

Get the car ready. Inform Fleming.

Let's pack it up.

No point robbing the bank

if there's no gold in the vault.

Thank you.

It's truly comforting to know there's

at least one gentleman in the world.

Ah! Idiot!

Good day.

Sausage, cabbage and black bread.

Hitler has made us an offer.

An appeasement.

But we must step down our army,

surrender our Navy and accept Nazi rule.

Otherwise, he promises total destruction

of Britain and her empire.

Our best option

is to take Hitler's deal while we can.

The Air Marshal agrees.

He has more bombs,

more men, more machines.

We won't survive much longer.

You have to make

the only decision you can make

in good conscience, Prime Minister.

Good God, girls.

Listen to yourselves.

It's not appeasement, it's surrender.

You still fail to realize

who we're up against.

With respect, Prime Minister,

it's you who doesn't realize.

We cannot hope to defeat him.

Hitler is the mainspring of evil,

a guttersnipe.

This is not a man

that we can negotiate with.

I've read his book, Admiral Pound.

The man is a vicious,

victimized ideologue.

He cannot be trusted.

If I thought that we could've achieved

peace through surrendering,

I'd have done it already.

We need to stop our country from starving.

We need three million tons of supplies

to cross the Atlantic every month.

We are currently losing

50% of that to U-boat attacks.

Another reason to take the deal.

I've not finished, Algernon, darling.

We need the Americans,

and they will never enter the war

if we already appear to be a losing side.

Ending hostilities with Germany

is the best path out of this mess.

We are all in agreement, Prime Minister.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Yes, thank you, gentlemen!

M, Fleming,

this better be good news.

Prime Minister,

we have the manifest here, sir.

It's been confirmed the Duchessa

is fully laden with supplies

to keep the U-boats

operational indefinitely.

If we're going to sink her,

now is the time.

They're on their way.

And their chances?

Well, if anyone can, they can.

But if we're discovered,

parliament will remove you from office.

Well,

we'd better make sure

we're not discovered then.

We'll take it from the cliffside.

It's an 85-foot sheer climb.

No one should notice

a small, innocuous fishing vessel.

We'll set up in the woods

and see what we're up against,

then we'll go for a night raid.

Slip in quietly,

find Apple, come out fast.

Numbers?

Intelligence suggests

a garrison of 50 to 60.

That should be about 15 each.

Lassen, try not to be greedy.

You do have a reputation.

My killing days are over.

I'm just here as a peacekeeping observer.

Freddy, bag the kit, silence the weapons.

When do we go?

0200.

Take the towers first,

then move onto the radio room,

barracks and end up in the control room...

- What do we have here?

Gestapo.

How'd you know?

The badder they are,

the better they're dressed.

I really must get me one of those coats.

They must be here for Apple.

It's either torture

or, uh, extraction, sir.

If they extract him,

it'll be the end of Apple.

We won't be seeing him again.

I'm afraid, gentlemen, we're not going

to have the luxury of night.

We're going to have to go in now.

So,

what's happened there then?

It looks like they've been plugged

full of arrows, Haysey.

Well, where did the arrows go?

Straight through them.

There were two more round the other side.

Where are they now?

Same place as these two.

Nazi heaven.

Well, we've got less than seven minutes

before they're missed.

Alarms, dogs. None of it good.

Go undercover of the engine.

Only break cover when things go bang.

I have a great idea, Lassen.

Why don't you march off by yourself

and fill those Germans full of arrows?

Freddy, grab the scissors

and help him with that fence.

Aye, sir.

Haysey, you're with me. We go left.

Freddy, Lassen, you go right.

Fill your boots, gentlemen,

and bon appétit.

- See you at the tower.

And remember, gentlemen,

try to have fun.

So far, so good.

- Doing rather well, Haysey.

Oh, why thank you, sir.

It's very good.

Sounds like

stealth mode's over.

Haysey, down!

Nein! Nein!

Do we know each other?

- No.

Is that a heart, Lassen?

For the avoidance of doubt.

Apple, old boy.

- Gus.

I see you two have met.

This is Haysey.

Pleasure, Haysey.

- Pleasure's mine.

I thought you might need these.

Jolly thoughtful of you.

You all find him?

Oh, goody.

Bloody hell,

what happened to your nipples?

You all right?

Couldn't unplug me, could you?

Battery's still on.

Did you see

the Duchessa, the tug boats?

And rather a lot of Nazi soldiers.

Why wasn't that in your report?

Because those soldiers and those guns,

and those S-Boats are all new.

That's a lot more

than the boys are expecting.

A month ago, it was a dozen mechanics.

Six drunk sailors.

Two fat Spaniards.

And a Nazi in a pear tree.

I'd say, we're gonna need more help.

You leave that to me.

- Of course.

But right now...

- ...you heed to meet that man.

Your man. The reason you're here.

Ah.

The only thing worse than a Nazi...

is him.

I'm very disappointed, Heron.

There are 16 crates in my warehouse

you have not yet shipped to the mainland.

No need to fret, Herr Luhr. They'll still

be delivered by the agreed date.

That may be.

But they take up valuable space.

For this, I expect

a significant reduction in your fee.

I can do 5%...

...as a gesture of goodwill.

Twenty. And don't waste

my precious time haggling.

Well, strictly speaking,

there should be no reductions,

since there's not yet been

any breach of contract.

Five is more than polite,

20 rings like a sour note,

it jars.

It jars?

Am I being accused of disharmony?

I take that as a personal affront.

And I am supposing

you are not the secretary.

Miss Stewart is the contact

I said I'd arrange.

Ah, your New York gold contact?

I told you, I already have

a satisfying arrangement.

Have a seat.

Thank you.

Well,

I hope I don't disappoint.

I can't make a decision

on this presentation.

Early days.

Well, if early days do come too soon,

and seasons change with a Hunter's Moon.

Hmm.

Hmm.

I have to say, Heron,

for all your flaws,

you do have a habit

of pulling rabbits from hats.

So, how much gold do you wish to move,

- Miss Stewart?

As much as you can find.

As I mentioned before,

I do already have

a very profitable arrangement.

And despite of your commentary,

I pride myself on maintaining harmony.

Now, why should I entertain you?

Because you'll make more money

and have lots of fun whilst doing so.

If I'm not good for my word, don't pay me.

Bravo.

I will talk to my people

and then we'll rendezvous.

Lovely.

When the sly red cat barks at dawn,

and kills just for her pleasure,

who shares the meal the cat did steal

when both looked on in pleasure?

Auf Wiedersehen.

The riddle was a nice touch.

The hook's in.

Now be careful how you reel him in.

I'll make sure the harbor's empty

when the boys arrive.

How are you going to do that?

I'll throw a party at my club.

A costume party for the officers

and a second party at the dock

for the soldiers.

People like my parties.

Everyone but Luhr.

That will be your job.

All the rats will follow the piper.

So, if I understand correctly,

we're currently here in La Palma.

We'll sail around German-controlled Africa

to Fernando Po,

which is just north of the Equator,

just off the West African coast.

So that's the shortest route?

Yes, but we don't want to go shorter.

Our priority is not to be seen.

You mean, be seen again.

Again? Getting a little sloppy

on us now, Gussy?

Had a run-in already?

Never mind us, Apple, old boy.

Remind me again

how you found your nipples

attached to a car battery.

Yes. Wasn't my fault. Bad intelligence.

Plus it was almost worth it

to watch the heart-snatcher at work.

I'm better known as a lover

than a fighter.

Jesus Christ! If that's how you fight,

I'd hate to see you love.

You don't have to worry about that,

you're too pretty for me.

Freddy, on the other hand...

You'd have to catch me first.

I do love to hunt.

You'd be lucky.

I'm really getting quite hot.

Anyway, my suggestion is

that we take this wider route.

It's obviously longer but it should avoid

any awkward conversations

with German U-boats or British warships.

Weather-dependent,

we should make it there in 15 days.

Agreed.

Haysey, do you think

you could manage that?

Leave it to me, sir.

Just do as you're told

- and get me another drink!

Captain, sir.

Can I get you something to eat?

May I... Come this way.

- Take your hands off me.

You know,

I like you, Femi.

But you touch me again

and you're going to jail.

Femi.

I'll deal with him.

Please take care of Miss Stewart.

You know what you need, Captain Binea?

I know what I need.

But do you, Ricardo?

You need another drink.

Marty, good stuff.

Ricardo, that's why I love you.

- You understand.

This is Fernando Po.

Everybody's welcome.

Sí... Everybody.

Too many body I think.

Armando?

Have you fallen out with our new friends?

It's not fair, Ricardo.

This is my harbor.

I am in charge.

Are they stepping on your toes?

They don't step, they stamp!

They tell Captain Binea nothing.

Only now do I hear the Duchessa

is leaving the harbor early.

Well, good riddance.

The harbor will be yours again.

When will you be free of that ugly vessel?

Three days earlier.

Then we should have another drink.

To celebrate. Marty...

Another round for our Harbor Master.

So, Captain, do you know

where they wish to relocate?

It's neither cat nor dog

that kills for fun,

it's the vixen, not another.

There's only two that kill for fun,

my pretty friend,

the fox and his human brother.

I believe I have

resolved your little riddle.

Chapeau. You play well.

Speaking of foxes,

Horowitz and Meyer, West 47th Street.

Have you heard of them?

I don't believe I have, no.

They're the largest gold traders

in Midtown New York

and you haven't heard of them?

I'm afraid I haven't, no.

I am familiar, of course,

with Horowitz and Haim.

But they're in the west side of the city.

But then again, I'm sure you already

knew that, didn't you?

I'm curious,

how do you find dealing with the Jew?

Oh, dear.

I've slipped from one snare

only to find myself in another.

How shall I put this?

I fear your brilliant leader

has mischaracterized

the ancient tribe of Yehudah.

Their ability to not only

survive 3,000 years

with a boot on their neck,

but to prosper in spite of it...

I suspect it inspired

satanic jealousy within him.

In conclusion,

it looks as though

the lady doth protest too much.

Is there a cherry to go

on this blasphemous cake,

or have you finished?

I must confess,

not only do I respect

and admire the Jew...

I am one.

Kidding!

They're greedy rats.

I think this could be

the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Then I shall throw a party to celebrate.

I don't care for parties.

Oh, spoilsport! Everybody loves a party.

The Duchessa's leaving

three days earlier than we thought.

If we don't tell the Maid Honor,

they'll arrive too late.

Incoming.

Contact.

More Jerries

on the island than expected.

Tin of corned beef's out of pantry

three days early.

I'll take that.

It's confidential,

sir. For M only.

When it comes to make the extraction,

it needs to be a very...

Sir. Message, sir.

More Jerries

on the island than expected.

Corned beef's out of the pantry

three days early.

Move faster.

Yes, but there's increased

U-boat sightings in the area.

Sir.

The mission's still proceeding.

So, there's more soldiers on

the island and the boat's leaving earlier?

Yes.

- Well, how are we meant to move faster?

- We can't move faster.

We're going as fast as we can.

This is a fishing boat,

it's not a speedboat.

Prime Minister,

the Duchessa's leaving

Fernando Po in 12 days.

On our current schedule,

they'll arrive three days too late.

Can it still be done?

We're still awaiting a response

from Major Phillips.

If we can't move faster, we'll go shorter.

We can get to Fernando Po in 12 days.

- Hold on, you said we couldn't go shorter.

- No, I said we don't want to go shorter.

He said we'll get mowed down by a U-boat.

Or worse, picked up by the Brits.

Their armada of destroyers

are crossing there.

We will literally

be sailing over U-boats.

Sorry, lads, we go shorter.

Drei, zwei, eins...

Gentlemen,

as I speak to you now,

London once again

shudders beneath a Nazi

onslaught from the skies.

And at such times,

the hearts of men are stirred to duty.

But you are not such men.

You were not chosen

for your conspicuous honor or high ideals.

You were chosen

because you are the last resort.

The mission you have been given

is of a sort never before undertaken.

It demands ruthless men,

who will not hesitate

to stoop beneath the conventions of war.

Men who do not keep clean hands.

Men like you.

- And yet, who still conspire

in their own discordant harmony.

Who know and yet do not care

that they may never return.

And who press onward not for glory,

or for duty, or for me,

but because you are men who will not stop

until it is done.

Godspeed, gentlemen.

Uh... Chaps...

That's a British destroyer.

We should move.

We can't outrun that, sir.

Well, we've seen them, they've seen us.

Hold fast, Maid Honor.

We're preparing a boarding party.

Hello, Captain!

Nothing exciting here.

We're just Swedish fishermen.

Step forward, Jorgensen!

Jorgensen, you're Swedish.

Ask them where they're heading, would you?

Not you, Lassen.

Uh...

I want to hear March-Phillips have a go.

Ah.

Fair enough.

Game's up, Commander.

Can't blame a girl for trying.

Good effort, Major. But I'm afraid you are

going to have to come with us.

May I ask under whose authority

we've been waylaid?

On the orders of Admiral Pound.

First Lieutenant.

You are pursuing

an unsanctioned criminal enterprise

in international waters.

You're going to cause an upset.

I think we're a little

past upset, Commander.

Stevens, what have you got?

I had a ping, sir.

The greedy little Nazi won't be satisfied

with holding most of Europe,

he's after our own

green and pleasant land.

Well, thank God you're here

with your little wooden battleship

and your five-man army.

- U-boat, bearing 273.

- Sound the alarm.

Come aboard.

U-boat approaching.

Starboard side, sir.

Battle stations!

Major, if you know what's good for you,

- you'll head home.

- Very good, Commander.

Haysey, get us away from that

torpedo magnet as quickly as possible.

Aye, sir. Apple, man the stern.

Freddy, on the main sail.

Lassen to the bow, now.

Untie that station!

Aye.

Quickly now, lads!

Hoist that foresail for us,

will you, boys?

Main sail ready to haul!

All right, Freddy,

now raise that main sail!

Aye.

Report sounding.

Bearing 163.

Lassen,

trim the main sail and then tie it off!

How do you expect good?

Report sounding.

Bearing 115.

Fire depth charges.

So, this is your man

that gets things done?

His name is Kambili... with a K.

And he went to an English boarding school?

Not just any boarding school.

He went to Eton,

the boarding school.

Right...

Then what's he doing here?

He's a prince.

A prince of what, exactly?

- The Prince of Fernando Po!

So, he's part pirate, part aristocrat?

Chic.

He's also a part of our solution.

RH.

KB.

He's back in town.

Chief.

Seems like

you always come bearing gifts.

Is she for me?

- Good luck with that.

I'm not for you,

but these are.

Mmm. Goodies. Yummy.

Ade...

- Chief.

Come on, come on.

Someone has taste.

Rarer than hens' teeth.

Well, RH tells me that KB

is the only man to talk to

when it comes to getting things done.

Why do I feel like I've gone from being

- the predator to the prey?

Quite an entrance, young lady.

It's on the condition

that we sample them...

NOW.

Ade, set the table.

Chief.

And then the Duke said,

"Push it in till it stops!"

You are quite the weapon.

I was right,

I was the prey.

I'll help you because I don't like Nazis.

Not because they're Nazis

but because they're gauche.

I'll give you a tug and 12 of my best men,

including yours truly.

But if I'm gonna help you,

who's gonna help me?

Because you're not a soldier, RH.

No, but she is.

She'll outshoot your best man.

I told you.

- No!

- No!

Stork delivery. Check.

Check.

Twenty-three boys. Check.

- Stork delivery.

Twenty-three boys.

Seventeen girls.

Meeting point 20 kilometers

outside Fernando Po.

The rendezvous with Heron.

Can you get us there?

If the weather holds, I can, sir.

Twenty quid says this doesn't end well.

For who?

For them.

You can't bet on yourself,

Haysey. That's match-fixing.

Let's do it.

Heron, it's been too long.

Good to see you, Gus.

Apple.

This is Kambili,

the Prince of Fernando Po.

Your Highness.

He's agreed to help us.

Forgive me, but...

I have a peculiar feeling

that we've met before.

I get that a lot.

I'm extremely well-traveled.

No, no.

It's a particular sense.

I don't suppose

you played cricket, did you?

Captained Eton. '21 to "22.

I knew I knew your face!

Right next to the trophy cabinet.

An eight-foot-tall huge portrait.

Yes, exactly that!

One eye on the boundary...

...one eye on the pub.

Bloody glad to have you aboard.

Bloody good to be here, old boy.

I'm very bored with these Nazis making

a nuisance of themselves.

I mean, it's terrible for business.

I'm only too pleased

to help you serve them a bloody nose.

That's a commendable attitude.

So, what's your plan?

Apple.

We're going to sink the Duchessa,

plus the two tugs.

Crippling Hitler's

Atlantic fleet of U-boats.

Very good.

The thing is, our old friends the Nazis

aren't making it the easiest.

We're outnumbered two hundred to five.

There's a few more soldiers

than we anticipated.

I think that we're gonna have to find

ourselves a few more strapping lads.

Ade...

Right...

Yes, I think that will do.

We brought some weapons if you need.

You hold onto those. We brought our own.

Oyah! Show them the iron!

Marvelous.

You do know the Duchessa is

more than 200 feet from the harbor side?

And she's in full glare of the lights.

She's not gonna be easy to sink

without attracting unwanted attention.

Yes. That's why Heron will plant a bomb

to blow the lights, before we paddle in

and rig the hull with explosives.

By the time the explosives detonate,

we'll be heading home.

If I had it my way,

a shot'll never be fired.

And how often do you have it your way?

Depends on who you ask, old boy.

Gentlemen...

- Ade.

- Chief.

- Prepare the men.

I'll take that 20

whenever you're ready, Freddy.

The Duchessa

will be gone by the morning.

- Can you manage that?

It's two wires and a tick tock.

I'm sure I can cope.

It's not me you should be worried about.

I've never taken a Nazi to a party.

Just don't end up at one of his parties.

Don't worry about me.

I'm gonna have my own little party.

Drink for the boys,

on His Majesty's government.

Ordinarily, I'd bite your hand off,

as I have been known to love a pound note.

But on this occasion,

the drinks are on me.

However,

if His Majesty's government

was handing out titles...

You're already a prince, old boy.

There's Prince of Fernando Po, but...

a Knight of the Realm

has a certain antiquity to it.

Arise, Sir Kambili.

You're a good man, Gus.

Good luck, Billy.

Hola!

Buenas tardes, compañeros!

What are you doing here?

My Herr, you have a visitor.

Ta-da!

Cleopatra needs her Caesar.

Put it on.

Thank you, Timothy.

One second.

Timothy...

I have a counter offer.

Let's put this dressing up aside.

It's for children.

And we are not children.

Let's make our own party.

A dark party.

A dark Nazi party.

With music, lubrication

and a handsome Nazi.

Since I've been here,

I've been bitten by things

that croak and slither,

scorpions nest in my boots

and I can't sleep

for the relentless howl of jungle entropy.

Tonight,

I'm going to that party,

and you are taking me.

Now, put it on.

Oh.

Very well.

Ah! Hola!

We move when the lights go out.

All right, Ricardo,

today you're El Capitán.

Armando, the bar is yours.

Use it. Abuse it at your will.

That's why I love you.

Come with me, handsome.

I need you to keep the men happy.

How happy?

Mmm.

Are the rats in the nest?

You won't find a German,

Spanish or Italian officer

anywhere else tonight.

Between the beer fest at the harbor

and this little get-together,

that'll be 90% of the soldiers

away from the dock.

The charge is set to blow

the harbor lights in 30 minutes.

Can you keep him here that long?

Silly boy, silly question.

Look at the dress.

Hi.

So, you call this a party?

This is just

the thin end of the wedge.

I've created a performance just for you.

Well, I could show you a real party.

Why do I care, Spaghetti?

Pizza.

Excuse me while I powder my nose.

- What, again?

Don't panic, Caesar.

Brush up on your Italian.

Your gift needs to be wrapped.

Keep those officers drinking, please.

- Of course. Okay.

- Thank you, Femi.

The Duchessa's hull has been reinforced.

It won't sink.

We need to stop the mission.

That's going to be hard to do.

Listen to me.

Our mission will fail.

The explosives won't work because he's

reinforced it to be unsinkable.

You have to stop them now.

But the charge is about

to blow the lights.

Well, if you can't stop the lights,

stop the men.

Luhr must not leave this party.

I'll keep him busy. Go, now.

And we're off.

Gus, wait.

Stork to Maid, Stork to Maid, come in.

Channel five.

This is Maid. Switching to 20.

Go ahead.

Tin of corned beef can't be cracked.

The ship cannot be sunk.

Explosives will fail.

It's Stork, sir.

Put him on open speaker.

Corned beef can't be cracked.

Stork, this is M.

Never mind the corned beef.

Just find a way.

- Over.

- Pound incoming, sir.

Repeat...

- Switch that off.

- We must...

Stop this immediately.

What you are doing ends now,

or every last one of you

will be subject to a tribunal.

Is that clear?

I don't know what

you're talking about, sir.

Is that correct, Sergeant?

Hold position.

How long, Stork?

Awaiting orders.

- Give me that.

Stand by.

March-Phillips,

this is Admiral Pound

giving you a direct order.

Abort this mission now.

I will make sure that

none of you see the light of day again.

You will spend the rest of your lives

locked up at His Majesty's pleasure.

That includes all of you.

Geoffrey Appleyard,

Anders Lassen,

- Freddy Buzz...

I'm sorry...

...and Henry Hayes.

Can't quite make out

- what you're saying.

Bye.

- Is... Is that clear?

Sorry? What?

I can't... I can't quite hear you.

Please... fuck off.

You and your operation

are reckless, Brigadier.

I will personally advise parliament

to have the Prime Minister

removed from office.

And I am going to shut you down.

Message received loud and clear, sir.

I suggest you also fuck off, Sergeant.

Fleming, contact March-Phillips.

Lily, get me

the Prime Minister on hotline.

Right away, sir.

- Come in, 01.

Come in, do you receive?

- Yes?

Prime Minister,

I'm afraid we've been discovered.

There was a mole in our midst

and Admiral Pound

has ordered the mission to be aborted.

He wants to have parliament

remove you from office.

The mission must continue.

01, this is base. Over.

Tell Pound if he has a problem,

to take it up with me.

He knows where I live.

Tell the men to press on.

I'm afraid we've lost

all communication, sir.

There must be something that we can do.

The only thing I can do is remind you,

the reason we chose March-Phillips

is because he doesn't follow orders.

Then let's hope we chose well.

The Duchessa's hull has been reinforced.

Which means she can't be sunk.

At least not with the amount

of explosives we're carrying.

Just wondering how and when

exactly this took place.

It's not important

how and when, it's happened.

Well, it is kind of important, Gus.

I don't care about the prison time,

but I do care about finishing

what we've started.

Thank you, Freddy.

There must be some sort of mistake.

You can't just reinforce...

There's no mistake, Haysey.

I'm just lost about

how and when exactly...

- Enough!

Why don't we sink the tug boats?

Get rid of the shuttle to the U-boats.

It's not enough.

They'll replace them in a week.

Why don't we steal them?

We can use Billy's boat

to drag the Duchessa out of the harbor

and steal the other two German tug boats

that service the U-boats.

And how are we supposed to do that?

Not only is she double-plated,

weighing twice as much,

but you'd need a full crew

to move a ship that size.

The tug boats are the crew.

We tow the Duchessa out to the ocean

and, well, steal the lot.

Then what? We still can't sink them.

We don't need to.

We sail into international waters

and hand everything over to the Navy.

They're following us anyway,

so they'll be more than happy

to see us again.

And what about the anchor?

Have you seen the size of it?

If we're gonna actually start to move her,

their S-boats will catch us in seconds.

Well, what are you going to do with

all the explosives you brought, Freddy?

We'll use them to blow the anchor.

We'll rig the S-boats

so they can't follow,

rig the fuel reserve

that supplies the U-boats,

and then, well, blow the lot up.

That fuel explosion's gonna bring

everyone and their mother

down to the harbor.

We set the fuse,

so that the fuel dump blows

once we're outside the harbor.

Then we sneak out quietly.

Not bad.

It's very greedy.

- Well, I'm in.

Well,

I'm not leaving until I have

a barrel full of Nazi hearts.

I'll do whatever you tell me to do, sir.

Gentlemen,

let's steal some boats.

Turns out she's double-plated,

so change of plans.

We're going to steal the boats instead.

Is that even possible?

I'm not entirely sure.

But if you're up for it, SO are we.

And you know what that means.

A lot more blood and a lot more sweat.

Hopefully not any of ours, old boy.

I don't think we can do this

without you, Billy.

Well, I'm up for it if you are.

I think we're gonna need your tug.

Haysey and I will

take a stroll along the harbor

and take out

any soldiers still patrolling.

Freddy will bring his dinghy around

and take care of the S-boats.

We'll meet you by the tug boats.

And the Duchessa?

That's Apple and me.

We'll take care of any crew

and blow the anchor.

And destroy their comms.

Not sure what you'll meet on board.

Take my top boy and two more of my men.

Gentlemen, let's prepare.

Oh, the shark, babe

Has such teeth, dear

And he shows them pearly white

Just a jack-knife

Has old MacHeath, dear

And he keeps it out of sight

You know when that shark bites

With his teeth, dear

Scarlet billows starts to spread

Fancy gloves, oh,

wears old MacHeath, dear

So there's never, never a trace of red

On the sidewalk

On Sunday morning, don't you know

Lies a body

Oozing life

And someone sneakin' around the corner

Could that be old Mack the Knife?

There's a tug boat

Down by the river, don't cha know

Where a cement bag's

just a-drooping on down

Not yet.

Mein Herr.

Haysey...

Up there

on the left, sir.

Yes.

He made a crash!

We could take that car, sir.

Save us some shoe leather.

Look out, old Macky is back

Incoming.

Papers please.

Commander.

- All good, Freddy?

Charges are set to go

once we're out of the harbor, sir.

Let's carry on then.

Did you enjoy your gift?

Mmm.

I think now it's time

that the fox shows his den to the vixen.

Heron, why are the lights still on?

I lit the room with oil lamps,

so they wouldn't notice

when the power went out.

- Look out!

Freddy, rig this 88,

then take the first tug with Haysey.

- Gute nacht.

- Guten abend.

Guten abend.

Terribly sorry, old boy.

- Do you mind? I seem to...

- ...have misplaced my knife.

- Bugger!

Thank you, Billy.

- Oh!

I hope that's not your blood, Lassen.

I hope so too.

Okay, boys, cast off.

Let's get this ship out of here.

Go on. Go on...

Go on!

There's three

more rooms just like this one.

That should stop the U-boats

for the next six months.

Let's get this thing towed out of here.

We are here, boys.

Quietly. Let's set a warning.

I need you to go to the front of the boat

and attach the Vulcan to the Duchessa,

Lassen and I will head to the bridge.

Okay.

Take the right side.

And you, get up there

and get this thing started.

It's Gus.

Everyone's in place.

What,

you didn't actually think

it would work, did you?

It was your plan.

Well, let's make sure

we keep our end of the bargain.

Signal back and I'll heave off.

So, what happens now?

We wait for the anchor chain to blow.

When do we expect that to happen?

- Shortly, I hope.

And then we're free to take her.

However, the real race begins

once the fuel depot goes.

Then we'll have every soldier

on the island turning up.

We don't wanna be around to witness that.

How long was that fuse

you attached to the anchor chain?

We'll find out soon enough.

Wait for it,

you're gonna catch the rope.

Come on.

First domino falls.

- Hitch up the other line.

- Yes, boss.

Pick up the slack.

They need to move her

before the fuel dump blows.

Heron, we need Marjorie.

Leave Marjorie to me.

We'll catch you up.

Very good.

Let's go!

I have to say, Fraulein,

you were good.

And you were sly.

There are only two types of people

that are as sly as the fox.

The German and the Jew.

And you are not German.

I think now it's time...

- ...for a real party.

That wasn't supposed to happen yet.

Shackle her!

And follow me.

The harbor is under attack!

They're coming.

We need power on the engine.

- She's too heavy!

- Pick up the slack!

Wait...

She's not moving!

Fire! Fire! Fire!

Wait for it.

We need more power on the engine.

Give me more power! More power!

That's it, it's working!

- That's it!

Ready!

Haysey!

We're out of range now.

- I'm no expert.

But you've got a big old hole

in your shoulder, Haysey.

Captain,

would you explain to me

what's going on here?

The power is gone.

The fuel depot has been sabotaged.

And no one knows what's happening.

But this is your fault.

Where is my ship?

The Duchessa, where did it go?

Someone's taken him

while you weren't looking.

You idiot!

You always have to say something

at the very wrong time.

There is never a right time with you!

Your greed and perversion

has distracted you from your duties.

Now my harbor is destroyed.

And my ship is gone!

And now you're gone too. Thank you.

Impressive.

Sounds like your detonators worked.

Chapeau, mademoiselle.

You play well.

You really are the vixen.

Am I?

Well, my hand's been revealed.

So, what now?

Now, I possess your hand

and for everything you have done to me,

I will visit a thousand fold upon you.

Yeah.

But no.

- Lie down.

Gus, we can't wait much longer.

They're coming.

If we stay here,

we'll lose contact with the others.

Hold fast, Billy.

Heron has a way of surviving and Marjorie,

well... good luck with that.

That's a patrol boat coming towards us.

- Gus, we need to leave. Now.

Hold on...

It's them.

RH.

- KB.

Marjorie.

Overdressed and underdressed

at the same time.

Come on, let's get you

out of those shackles.

Come in, Violet.

Calling HMS Violet.

Come in, Violet.

This is Maid Honor.

Go ahead, Maid Honor.

- Loudspeaker.

Sorry to bother you

at this time of the night,

but we've found ourselves with one or two

items that might be of interest to you.

Shall we rendezvous for a handover?

Get me Admiral Pound.

- Yes?

Sir,

- good news and bad news.

- Yes, yes. Get to it.

Bad news, they didn't sink her.

Good news, they stole her.

Congratulations, Prime Minister.

Hold it there!

Commander.

You were ordered by Admiral Pound

to cease activities.

You did not.

Therefore, you are to be returned

to England to face a tribunal. You.

Return to your tug

with the rest of your militia.

- Take them to the brig.

Sir!

Good to see you too, Commander.

Separate cells.

Follow me!

Let's go! Let's get moving!

- RH.

- KB.

Come on.

Go on, move.

One moment, seaman.

Billy.

One eye on the boundary...

One eye on the pub.

They'll thank you for this one day.

I'm not sure that's what we were

really looking for, was it,

Your Highness?

Shop's open for you anytime, Major.

Sorry to intrude, Prime Minister,

but M thought you should see this.

Thank you, Gloria.

Line up. Face front!

Line up. Face front!

Line up. Face front!

No need to shout.

Stand still!

Any chance of a cup of tea?

You, back up to the wall.

Off the cloth, moth.

Stand straight!

Never before

have the senior Military

and Navy Commanders of this country

been so united in their condemnation.

It is their view that the discipline

on which our armed forces depends

has been undermined

by men serving no master

but their own thirst

for blood, murder and mayhem.

Men who disobeyed a direct order

from the Admiral of the fleet himself,

and chose instead

to trust the whim and intuition

of the man standing beside him.

How dare they.

When only this morning,

the first American soldiers

arrived on British soil,

ready to stand shoulder to shoulder

with us in Europe.

Allies who risked death

crossing the North Atlantic,

and only by some miracle

found their crossing

untroubled by Nazi U-boats.

A happy circumstance, I might add,

which cannot be accounted for,

but which has cleared the way

for the United States

to enter the European war.

And for which I know

President Roosevelt

to be immeasurably grateful.

But setting aside

this stroke of unexplained fortune,

what is to be done

with this unruly company

who do not obey orders?

Who seem to have formed their own

ministry of ungentlemanly warfare.

From now on, they work for me.