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1
00:00:04,140 --> 00:00:06,823
Hey, Michael, who was that girl last night?
2
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I wasn't with a girl.
3
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No, no, no, the one I brought home. I can never remember her name.
4
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There he is: the star of the new show, Deep Powder.
5
00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:23,962
Bobbie, hi. Come on in.
6
00:00:24,442 --> 00:00:26,765
Wow! What are you doing here?
7
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How would you like to go to Las Vegas and be a celebrity judge?
8
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It would be great publicity for your new show.
9
00:00:33,012 --> 00:00:35,655
Oh, Bobbie, I told you I don't want to do stuff like that anymore.
10
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-It's a beauty pageant.
- Anything for the show.
11
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It's Miss Southwestern USA,
12
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but they need you to leave for Las Vegas tonight.
13
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Tonight?
14
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Well, you weren't their first choice.
15
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Oh, okay, all right, fine.
16
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Uh, what's involved in judging?
17
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You have to look at beautiful women
18
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and rate them on a scale of one to ten.
19
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Can you do that, Joey?
20
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I'll give it a try.
21
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Okay, this is great!
22
00:01:02,003 --> 00:01:04,286
But, uh, why did you come by to ask me? You could've just called.
23
00:01:04,366 --> 00:01:07,610
Well, I like to give my clients the personal atten... Michael!
24
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You are here.
25
00:01:12,014 --> 00:01:13,336
Oh, gosh, uh...
26
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Well, you're filling out nicely.
27
00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:19,383
Couple more months, and you'll be ready.
28
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Um, okay. You know what? Thanks for stopping by, Bobbie. Here you go.
29
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All right.
30
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Oh, yeah.
31
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You know...
32
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- part of me thinks I should just...
- She would eat you alive.
33
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Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
34
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I'm going to make a great judge.
35
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Seven.
36
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Six.
37
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Ooh, four.
38
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Aw, what a cute puppy.
39
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Eight.
40
00:02:31,382 --> 00:02:32,423
- Hey.
- Hey.
41
00:02:32,863 --> 00:02:34,064
So, you ready for your beauty pageant?
42
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Yeah, I'm really excited, you know?
43
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I've never been in a position before where my opinion mattered.
44
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My judgment could change someone's life.
45
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Joey, it's just a beauty pageant.
46
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You bite your tongue.
47
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You are talking about the Miss Southwest... something-something-something.
48
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Wow, didn't know you were taking it so seriously.
49
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Well, yeah. This is a big step for me, you know?
50
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It says I'm a part of the community of celebrities.
51
00:02:57,130 --> 00:02:59,853
You know, it says that I can be trusted to judge fairly.
52
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It says that Corbin Bernsen dropped out last minute.
53
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:02,896
It does say that.
54
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:05,219
Hey, guys.
55
00:03:05,379 --> 00:03:07,581
I think this is for you. Someone left it by my door by mistake.
56
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:10,304
Oh, this must be my V.I.P. packet for Vegas.
57
00:03:10,665 --> 00:03:11,946
Oh, why you going to Vegas?
58
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I'm judging a beauty pageant.
59
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Ugh.
60
00:03:14,188 --> 00:03:14,869
What?
61
00:03:14,989 --> 00:03:17,592
My sister did pageants. I find them degrading to women.
62
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- Aw, you jealous of her?
- Very.
63
00:03:21,557 --> 00:03:24,280
Oh, my God, there's some great stuff in here.
64
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:25,281
Whoa, what'd you get?
65
00:03:25,441 --> 00:03:26,722
I don't know if I can share this with you.
66
00:03:26,842 --> 00:03:30,566
This is a V.I.P. packet. You guys are just R.F.s: regular folk.
67
00:03:33,289 --> 00:03:36,573
Ooh, comped room, free buffet,
68
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front row seats to a Celine Dion concert.
69
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You don't really like her, do you?
70
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No, no, I just like to go to her concerts as a joke
71
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with a bunch of other hilarious people that I met on her Web site.
72
00:03:52,390 --> 00:03:53,592
Well, you can have these, if you want.
73
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Really? Wait a minute. Is this a prank?
74
00:03:57,396 --> 00:03:59,638
Did Sheila from Team Celine put you up to this?
75
00:04:01,961 --> 00:04:03,362
No, really. You can have the tickets.
76
00:04:03,923 --> 00:04:05,885
I can't believe you like Celine Dion.
77
00:04:06,125 --> 00:04:08,568
Oh, what? I'm sorry it not Whitesnake.
78
00:04:08,688 --> 00:04:09,850
You got a problem with Whitesnake?
79
00:04:09,890 --> 00:04:11,171
Okay, all right, okay.
80
00:04:11,892 --> 00:04:14,575
No one is looking good here, all right?
81
00:04:14,735 --> 00:04:17,298
Oh, and Alex, if you want to catch a ride with me, I'm leaving in an hour.
82
00:04:17,418 --> 00:04:19,100
Okay, great! I'll go pack.
83
00:04:21,743 --> 00:04:24,225
Wait a second! Why does she get to go to Vegas and I don't?
84
00:04:24,466 --> 00:04:25,787
No one said you couldn't go.
85
00:04:25,907 --> 00:04:28,150
Why is anger always your first response?
86
00:04:31,033 --> 00:04:32,434
I really don't know.
87
00:04:33,716 --> 00:04:36,359
Look, I have a free suite. Why don't you and Michael join me?
88
00:04:36,439 --> 00:04:37,520
That'd be fun!
89
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,203
Oh, Michael's not gonna want to go. He hates Vegas.
90
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,525
Well, what if we put him in the car and don't give him a choice?
91
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:44,888
I'm supposed to pick him up from Cal Tech.
92
00:04:45,649 --> 00:04:46,650
We should kidnap him!
93
00:04:46,890 --> 00:04:48,652
- Oh, yeah, let's do that.
- All right!
94
00:04:49,012 --> 00:04:51,055
This is really exciting. We're really gonna go.
95
00:04:51,615 --> 00:04:53,057
Wait-- I'm not dressed for Vegas.
96
00:04:53,257 --> 00:04:55,700
Gina, you're always dressed for Vegas.
97
00:05:06,231 --> 00:05:07,673
Okay, just so you guys know,
98
00:05:07,793 --> 00:05:09,034
'cause we've got a long drive ahead of us,
99
00:05:09,155 --> 00:05:10,876
when you throw trash out of the car,
100
00:05:10,957 --> 00:05:12,678
it just comes back here and hits me in the face.
101
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:15,802
Ooh, there's Michael.
102
00:05:15,922 --> 00:05:17,243
We shouldn't tell him we're going to Vegas.
103
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:18,965
Let's think of a place he'll want to go.
104
00:05:19,366 --> 00:05:21,408
Ooh-ooh-- let's tell him we're going to get ice cream.
105
00:05:21,528 --> 00:05:24,171
No, no, no-- then he'll be really mad when he finds out we're not.
106
00:05:25,733 --> 00:05:27,495
Now I'm mad we're not getting ice cream.
107
00:05:28,976 --> 00:05:31,259
Hey, why are you guys all picking me up?
108
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,302
And why are you grinning like idiots?
109
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He's on to us! Drive!
110
00:05:50,039 --> 00:05:52,162
Oh, my God. I can't believe we're here.
111
00:05:52,883 --> 00:05:55,565
Joey, come on. We're inside. Take off the glasses.
112
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Hey, hey-- I am here as a celebrity judge. Celebrity!
113
00:06:00,891 --> 00:06:02,934
Okay, people expect a certain flair, all right?
114
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:06,898
The sunglasses say, "You may not know who I am but, yeah, it's me."
115
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All right, fine.
116
00:06:10,702 --> 00:06:12,104
Well, I better get to my concert.
117
00:06:12,224 --> 00:06:15,507
I can't believe I'm gonna see Celine. It's like seeing the Beatles!
118
00:06:15,587 --> 00:06:18,270
Yeah, except she's like a bony-chested French-Canadian
119
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you want to punch in the face.
120
00:06:20,753 --> 00:06:21,354
Oh, really?
121
00:06:21,474 --> 00:06:25,638
I can't remember what state-of-the-art theater was built in Vegas for Whitesnake!
122
00:06:25,759 --> 00:06:26,920
Is that Celine?
123
00:06:29,763 --> 00:06:31,125
All right! Vegas!
124
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Wow, those girls are hot.
125
00:06:35,730 --> 00:06:37,812
Hey, hey, hey, that is for me to judge.
126
00:06:39,454 --> 00:06:40,655
You're gonna have a fun weekend.
127
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:43,458
No, no, no. The rules say I can't fraternize with the girls.
128
00:06:43,538 --> 00:06:44,820
I need to be impartial.
129
00:06:45,060 --> 00:06:47,583
Otherwise, it would be unfair to the show's producers, the contestants,
130
00:06:48,063 --> 00:06:50,185
and the good people at Mike's Hard Lemonade and Spike TV.
131
00:06:51,987 --> 00:06:53,629
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, there you are.
132
00:06:53,669 --> 00:06:55,231
Think we're gonna have some fun in Vegas?
133
00:06:55,391 --> 00:06:57,674
I don't think so. I'm just going to go up to the room and study.
134
00:06:58,034 --> 00:07:00,196
I know y didn't want to come, but you're gonna have a good time.
135
00:07:00,357 --> 00:07:01,318
Will you let me go to the room?
136
00:07:01,398 --> 00:07:02,479
No, you're not going anywhere.
137
00:07:02,599 --> 00:07:04,361
Now, stop sulking and take off that stupid hat.
138
00:07:04,521 --> 00:07:06,804
Hey, nice to see you again, sir.
139
00:07:08,285 --> 00:07:10,007
- Who was that?
- I have no idea.
140
00:07:10,087 --> 00:07:11,689
Welcome back, sir. We've missed you.
141
00:07:14,252 --> 00:07:15,053
What's going on?
142
00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:17,295
How come more people are recognizing you than recognize me?
143
00:07:18,777 --> 00:07:19,778
All right, fine.
144
00:07:20,499 --> 00:07:21,820
I come here, okay? A lot.
145
00:07:21,940 --> 00:07:22,461
You do?
146
00:07:22,541 --> 00:07:25,184
Yes, I come here with a bunch of my friends from Cal Tech to play blackjack.
147
00:07:25,304 --> 00:07:27,867
We... we count cards. We win a lot of money.
148
00:07:27,987 --> 00:07:29,989
Oh, my God! Michael's interesting.
149
00:07:32,071 --> 00:07:34,634
Don't use my real name. I'm here under an assumed name.
150
00:07:34,834 --> 00:07:36,556
Oh, this is too much. I am not buying it.
151
00:07:36,716 --> 00:07:38,719
Okay, I'll prove it to you.
152
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,081
Hey, Sal.
153
00:07:41,722 --> 00:07:44,405
Hey, Dr. Rodriguez, you shaved your mustache.
154
00:07:44,605 --> 00:07:46,888
Yeah, well, the wife couldn't take it anymore. You know?
155
00:07:48,970 --> 00:07:50,211
Oh, my God.
156
00:07:50,371 --> 00:07:53,695
You have been lying to me and doing shady things in Vegas?
157
00:07:53,815 --> 00:07:55,697
I have never felt closer to you!
158
00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:59,141
I can't believe you count cards.
159
00:07:59,381 --> 00:08:01,183
It's like I got my own Rain Man!
160
00:08:02,745 --> 00:08:04,187
How much is that?
161
00:08:04,747 --> 00:08:06,269
- 50 cents.
- That's spooky.
162
00:08:07,510 --> 00:08:08,591
I want to count cards with you!
163
00:08:08,672 --> 00:08:10,033
Yeah, we got to do this.
164
00:08:10,193 --> 00:08:11,274
No, I don't think that's a good idea.
165
00:08:11,394 --> 00:08:14,037
Come on! We can rip off the casino together. Like a family.
166
00:08:15,239 --> 00:08:17,601
How about this-- let's sleep on it. I'll teach you first thing in the morning.
167
00:08:17,681 --> 00:08:19,083
Oh, yeah, that's actually for the best.
168
00:08:19,163 --> 00:08:20,965
Yeah, I have an early pageant meeting.
169
00:08:21,085 --> 00:08:22,807
Gotta get some rest. You know, go to bed.
170
00:08:22,967 --> 00:08:24,929
- Were you on Days of Our Lives?
- With her.
171
00:08:35,701 --> 00:08:36,582
Welcome.
172
00:08:37,063 --> 00:08:40,226
Hi, Joey Tribbiani, long-time pageant fan, first-time judge.
173
00:08:41,227 --> 00:08:43,029
Well, I'm Jerry, the pageant producer.
174
00:08:43,470 --> 00:08:45,632
Oh, hey, sorry I'm a little late. I had kind of a crazy night.
175
00:08:45,912 --> 00:08:47,915
But it's not going to interfere with my judging duties.
176
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:49,676
I am so honored to be here.
177
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To me, there is no more noble endeavor than rating hot chicks.
178
00:08:55,843 --> 00:08:56,564
Watch...
179
00:08:58,046 --> 00:08:58,726
Four.
180
00:08:58,847 --> 00:09:00,689
- That's my wife.
- Out of five.
181
00:09:02,611 --> 00:09:05,814
So, Jerry... I want to introduce you to Bob Saget.
182
00:09:06,014 --> 00:09:08,777
This is Joey Tribbiani. He's another one of our celebrity judges.
183
00:09:09,378 --> 00:09:12,181
Wow, Bob Saget!
184
00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:13,583
I don't like to be touched.
185
00:09:16,786 --> 00:09:18,148
So... wow... we're judging this together?
186
00:09:18,268 --> 00:09:19,669
I'm on the same level as you?
187
00:09:19,709 --> 00:09:21,992
Well, that depends. How much you getting paid for this?
188
00:09:22,593 --> 00:09:23,754
You're getting paid?!
189
00:09:25,516 --> 00:09:26,197
Okay, everybody.
190
00:09:26,277 --> 00:09:30,081
We wanted to take this opportunity to introduce the judges to the finalists.
191
00:09:30,121 --> 00:09:31,482
So here they are.
192
00:09:31,522 --> 00:09:32,924
Miss Tucson...
193
00:09:33,485 --> 00:09:34,966
Miss Santa Fe...
194
00:09:35,727 --> 00:09:36,888
Miss Reno...
195
00:09:36,968 --> 00:09:37,809
and Miss Laughlin.
196
00:09:37,889 --> 00:09:40,052
Sorry I'm late. I had a crazy night.
197
00:09:40,412 --> 00:09:42,414
Hey, hello again. Nice sash.
198
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:53,106
Hey, guys, guys.
199
00:09:53,266 --> 00:09:54,628
I just did something bad.
200
00:09:54,708 --> 00:09:55,869
Okay, here's the story.
201
00:09:55,949 --> 00:09:58,352
You were with me till 10:00. Michael, you saw him go to bed at...
202
00:09:58,472 --> 00:09:59,673
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
203
00:09:59,793 --> 00:10:02,076
It's nothing like that. I hooked up with one of the contestants.
204
00:10:02,677 --> 00:10:04,519
Did any of us think that wasn't gonna happen?
205
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:07,962
It wasn't my fault! She didn't tell me she was a contestant.
206
00:10:08,163 --> 00:10:09,284
Oh, it didn't even come up?
207
00:10:09,404 --> 00:10:11,286
You guys heard every word we said to each other.
208
00:10:12,567 --> 00:10:14,209
Okay? Now I can't be impartial. What am I gonna do?
209
00:10:14,329 --> 00:10:15,931
WeWell, you could resign.
210
00:10:16,892 --> 00:10:19,615
Or, I could hook up with the other four finalists.
211
00:10:22,018 --> 00:10:22,939
How is that gonna help?
212
00:10:23,019 --> 00:10:24,541
Well, then none of them will have an advantage.
213
00:10:24,581 --> 00:10:25,502
It'll level the playing field.
214
00:10:25,742 --> 00:10:27,704
- Joey, I got to say...
- Yeah, please.
215
00:10:27,784 --> 00:10:29,066
....that is brilliant!
216
00:10:30,387 --> 00:10:31,508
Yeah, yeah, this is too important.
217
00:10:31,829 --> 00:10:35,112
I have to preserve the integrity of the Miss Southwestern USA Pageant.
218
00:10:35,352 --> 00:10:37,114
By hooking up with all the contestants?
219
00:10:37,475 --> 00:10:41,279
I didn't ask for the solution to this horrible problem to be wonderful, it just is.
220
00:10:44,242 --> 00:10:45,564
Okay. Come on. Teach me this card-counting thing.
221
00:10:45,684 --> 00:10:47,245
All right, here's how it works.
222
00:10:47,406 --> 00:10:49,047
When I want you to come over to the table to start betting,
223
00:10:49,168 --> 00:10:50,409
I'm gonna run my fingers through my hair.
224
00:10:50,569 --> 00:10:52,932
Also, we need a verbal signal for you to stop betting,
225
00:10:53,092 --> 00:10:56,776
so my friends and I usually just work the name of a U.S. president into the conversation.
226
00:10:57,136 --> 00:11:01,061
- So if I say, "Garfield..."
- Cat! Hatondays! Lasagna!
227
00:11:02,302 --> 00:11:03,944
Okay, maybe we'll try something else.
228
00:11:04,384 --> 00:11:06,507
Uh, what's a subject you know a lot about?
229
00:11:07,948 --> 00:11:08,429
Alcohol.
230
00:11:08,469 --> 00:11:09,990
Okay, great, all right.
231
00:11:10,431 --> 00:11:11,872
So I'm gonna mention alcohol, and you stop.
232
00:11:12,113 --> 00:11:13,074
And one more thing.
233
00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:15,156
ke it fast; I'm getting kind of full up here.
234
00:11:16,117 --> 00:11:18,760
All right. The pit boss cannot find out that we know each other.
235
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:20,442
If he does, he'll take us to the back room,
236
00:11:20,562 --> 00:11:22,684
and very, very bad things happen in the back room.
237
00:11:22,845 --> 00:11:23,926
Hey. Okay.
238
00:11:24,086 --> 00:11:26,769
The Miss Southwestern Teen Pageant is in Ballroom B.
239
00:11:26,849 --> 00:11:28,931
I almost just got myself in a lot of trouble.
240
00:11:34,137 --> 00:11:34,738
Hi.
241
00:11:35,659 --> 00:11:37,501
I'm Joey Tribbiani, one of the judges.
242
00:11:37,861 --> 00:11:38,902
Nice to meet you.
243
00:11:39,303 --> 00:11:42,386
So, Miss... Reno... where are you from?
244
00:11:44,668 --> 00:11:45,429
Reno.
245
00:11:46,671 --> 00:11:49,193
Okay, this small talk isn't working. I'll cut to the chase.
246
00:11:49,554 --> 00:11:52,517
I assume you want the judging to be fair and impartial?
247
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:53,598
Of course.
248
00:11:53,678 --> 00:11:54,279
Walk with me.
249
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:58,283
I'm going to tell you about an interesting way that we can ensure that that happens.
250
00:11:59,605 --> 00:12:02,888
But I was just going over some literature from my platform statement.
251
00:12:03,249 --> 00:12:05,651
Oh, well, let me take a look. What issue have you chosen?
252
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:06,973
Abstinence.
253
00:12:10,257 --> 00:12:14,021
Okay, I'm going to go build a little momentum and then get back to you.
254
00:12:18,466 --> 00:12:22,350
Oh, Debbie, whatever you just said sounds very interesting.
255
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:25,593
So, you want to come back to my room?
256
00:12:25,754 --> 00:12:26,915
I'd like that.
257
00:12:27,115 --> 00:12:30,439
And you can feel good, because you are ensuring a fair competition.
258
00:12:30,719 --> 00:12:33,282
Competition? What competition?
259
00:12:33,602 --> 00:12:36,846
Are you not in the Miss Southwestern USA beauty Pageant?
260
00:12:37,086 --> 00:12:37,767
No.
261
00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:39,609
Then why did you tell me you were from Tucson?
262
00:12:39,769 --> 00:12:43,093
- Because I am from Tucson.
- Well, this is just great.
263
00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:46,937
Are you coming back to my room or not?
264
00:12:47,297 --> 00:12:50,180
I'm sorry, you seem like a nice girl, but I just don't have time for this.
265
00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:51,782
Here here's a pamphlet on abstinence.
266
00:12:55,266 --> 00:12:58,790
Miss Albuquerque, Miss Santa Fe, you two are together-- Great!
267
00:12:59,671 --> 00:13:00,952
I'm a little behind schedule
268
00:13:01,032 --> 00:13:02,794
because someone from Tucson just wasted a lot of my time.
269
00:13:03,955 --> 00:13:06,839
So... you two are both New Mexicans, huh?
270
00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:07,960
Do you guys like each other?
271
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,161
Yeah.
272
00:13:09,361 --> 00:13:10,723
Really. How much?
273
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:13,246
Uh, we're actually sharing a room.
274
00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:15,088
That is great news.
275
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,732
Joey, we're a having a special emergency meeting.
276
00:13:18,772 --> 00:13:21,615
There have been some improprieties with contestant-judge relations.
277
00:13:21,695 --> 00:13:22,376
Please come with me.
278
00:13:24,538 --> 00:13:27,061
- See you at the pageant.
- I wouldn't bet on it.
279
00:13:32,867 --> 00:13:34,509
I would just like to remind everyone
280
00:13:34,629 --> 00:13:37,632
that I filled in as a last-minute replacement for Corbin Bernsen,
281
00:13:38,433 --> 00:13:40,115
and I think that that should count for something.
282
00:13:41,557 --> 00:13:43,999
Okay, the reason we're here is that one of the contestants,
283
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:47,763
Miss Laughlin, has had improper relations with a judge.
284
00:13:47,884 --> 00:13:50,887
Maybe it was an irresistible judge, and no one's at fault.
285
00:13:52,288 --> 00:13:55,011
The rules could not be clearer on this issue.
286
00:13:55,252 --> 00:13:59,576
As a result, we are disqualifying Miss Laughlin from the competition,
287
00:13:59,817 --> 00:14:02,099
and we will be passing her name on
288
00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:06,384
to the U.S. Council on Beauty Pageants, Dog Shows and Rodeos.
289
00:14:08,546 --> 00:14:09,988
Are you gonna disqualify the judge?
290
00:14:10,148 --> 00:14:14,393
Actually, since the pageant is in three hours, we don't have that luxury.
291
00:14:15,274 --> 00:14:16,715
Oh, well, hold on a sec. That doesn't seem fair.
292
00:14:16,755 --> 00:14:17,596
That's a double standard.
293
00:14:17,796 --> 00:14:18,477
I'm sorry?
294
00:14:18,597 --> 00:14:22,201
Well, it takes two to tango. The e is just as guilty as she is and...
295
00:14:23,202 --> 00:14:24,524
well, as much as it pains me to say it,
296
00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:25,965
if she's gonna go, he should go, too.
297
00:14:27,727 --> 00:14:28,608
I guess you're right.
298
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,811
Bob, I think you should leave.
299
00:14:35,256 --> 00:14:37,018
Nice speech, Gloria Steinem.
300
00:14:39,180 --> 00:14:40,141
Jackass.
301
00:14:46,308 --> 00:14:47,990
- Hey! There you are.
- Hey.
302
00:14:48,030 --> 00:14:49,231
How'd your plan work out?
303
00:14:49,511 --> 00:14:52,515
Ah, well, it turned out that Miss Laughlin, that contestant I slept with,
304
00:14:52,635 --> 00:14:53,956
was even sleazier than me.
305
00:14:55,157 --> 00:14:57,080
And Bob Saget thinks I'm a jackass!
306
00:14:59,042 --> 00:15:00,443
- How's it going with you?
- Oh, great!
307
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,485
I was just taking a little pee break. I gotta get back.
308
00:15:02,606 --> 00:15:05,449
This carunting thing is amazing. We are way ahead.
309
00:15:05,769 --> 00:15:07,171
Oh, really? I wanna come watch.
310
00:15:07,891 --> 00:15:09,013
Oh, okay.
311
00:15:09,333 --> 00:15:10,855
But the casino can't know we know each other,
312
00:15:10,935 --> 00:15:14,739
so Michael's "Dr. Rodriguez," and I'm "Victoria from England."
313
00:15:14,819 --> 00:15:16,581
That's why I'm talking in this British accent.
314
00:15:18,263 --> 00:15:19,384
- It's good!
- I know!
315
00:15:22,587 --> 00:15:23,388
Welcome back.
316
00:15:23,629 --> 00:15:24,710
Yeah, we missed you, Victoria.
317
00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:28,033
And I missed you, Dr. Rodriguez. Now sit up straight.
318
00:15:30,076 --> 00:15:31,677
Hey, y'all. Name's Dusty.
319
00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:37,123
Just flew in from Texas, and I got a hankerin' to watch me some blackjack.
320
00:15:37,764 --> 00:15:39,006
Oh, God...
321
00:15:40,848 --> 00:15:42,409
You know what I like about Vegas?
322
00:15:42,489 --> 00:15:44,972
You can sit down at a table full of strangers,
323
00:15:45,332 --> 00:15:47,255
yet they all feel like family.
324
00:15:47,615 --> 00:15:49,577
- Oh! Thanks!
- Not you, sir.
325
00:15:51,219 --> 00:15:53,021
Dealer bust. You win again.
326
00:15:53,742 --> 00:15:56,184
Hi. You're having quite a run of luck tonight.
327
00:15:56,264 --> 00:15:56,745
I know.
328
00:15:57,105 --> 00:16:00,950
- I'm Kevin, the pit boss.
- Really!
329
00:16:02,591 --> 00:16:06,275
Does anyone at this table think I should stop playing and go get some alcohol?
330
00:16:06,436 --> 00:16:08,918
Why don't you just order your drinks from a waitress?
331
00:16:09,078 --> 00:16:10,240
That way you can keeaying,
332
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,562
get a little extra money, and maybe, I don't know,
333
00:16:12,682 --> 00:16:14,845
buy a family member a pinball machine.
334
00:16:17,047 --> 00:16:19,170
I don't know. If the lady wants to leave, Dusty,
335
00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:20,251
I think you should let her.
336
00:16:20,411 --> 00:16:23,094
Is anyone talking to you, Dr. Rodriguez?
337
00:16:25,336 --> 00:16:27,298
- Okay, I'm done.
- Wait a minute.
338
00:16:27,579 --> 00:16:28,620
You're not going anywhere...
339
00:16:30,382 --> 00:16:32,384
....without your breakfast voucher.
340
00:16:33,986 --> 00:16:35,107
You've had a great night,
341
00:16:35,227 --> 00:16:37,189
and I hope you come and stay with us again.
342
00:16:41,074 --> 00:16:42,395
Well, adios, muchaco.
343
00:16:44,678 --> 00:16:46,319
Joey! There you are!
344
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,443
I just got back from my third Celine concert. They were identical.
345
00:16:51,165 --> 00:16:53,047
I'm not Joey, I'm Dusty!
346
00:16:55,930 --> 00:16:57,291
Wait a minute. You guys all know each other?
347
00:16:57,532 --> 00:16:58,373
Oh, yeah!
348
00:16:58,453 --> 00:17:01,496
These three troublemakers are my neighbors, back in L.A.
349
00:17:03,778 --> 00:17:05,981
Wow, Gina, you have so many chips.
350
00:17:06,181 --> 00:17:08,944
Oh, I bet Michael helped you, 'cause he's such a math genius.
351
00:17:11,107 --> 00:17:14,911
Okay... I want all of you to come with me now to the back room.
352
00:17:15,792 --> 00:17:16,512
Now.
353
00:17:19,356 --> 00:17:22,519
Dag nab it, this sure is one Texas-size mess.
354
00:17:33,771 --> 00:17:35,854
Stay right here. I'll be back.
355
00:17:37,495 --> 00:17:41,139
Is it just me or did that man seem like he was mad at us for something?
356
00:17:42,741 --> 00:17:43,983
We were counting cards.
357
00:17:44,343 --> 00:17:45,825
They're gonna, they're gonna kill us.
358
00:17:45,945 --> 00:17:48,387
You guys... I'm freaking out.
359
00:17:48,508 --> 00:17:49,629
It's okay, baby.
360
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:52,472
You wanna know what scared is? Finding out you're pregnant at 16.
361
00:17:52,632 --> 00:17:54,234
That's nothing. You wanna know what scared is?
362
00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:57,237
One time, this big moth almost flew into my mouth!
363
00:17:58,198 --> 00:17:59,440
That does not top my story.
364
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:00,801
No? Okay.
365
00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:03,404
You guys, what are we gonna do?
366
00:18:04,045 --> 00:18:05,967
Uh... Oh! Oh! I know how we're gonna get out of this.
367
00:18:06,047 --> 00:18:07,969
What, you're gonna sleep with all pit bosses?
368
00:18:09,210 --> 00:18:12,013
No, no. We're gonna pretend to be dumb, okay?
369
00:18:12,093 --> 00:18:13,615
It's something that works for me all the time.
370
00:18:13,735 --> 00:18:15,858
Like when a girl catches me with someone else, I just go,
371
00:18:15,898 --> 00:18:19,261
"But baby, I don't understand what the problem is. I thought she was you."
372
00:18:21,263 --> 00:18:23,025
You want them to think we're too stupid to count cards.
373
00:18:23,106 --> 00:18:26,229
Yeah, yeah. Okay, now let me see all of you make a dumb face.
374
00:18:28,111 --> 00:18:30,714
Gina, good-- but you had the shortest distance to travel.
375
00:18:31,955 --> 00:18:33,277
Alex, you're not there.
376
00:18:33,357 --> 00:18:35,319
Imagine Celine said your name on stage.
377
00:18:35,719 --> 00:18:36,320
Perfect!
378
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,443
Okay, Michael, it still looks like there's a light on in there!
379
00:18:41,085 --> 00:18:42,247
There you go.
380
00:18:42,647 --> 00:18:45,090
That's what I thought my son would look like.
381
00:18:45,931 --> 00:18:47,612
Okay, okay, dummy up, dummy up.
382
00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:55,741
Look, we know you've been counting cards.
383
00:18:56,582 --> 00:18:57,463
What...?
384
00:18:59,185 --> 00:19:00,907
We've got you on camera.
385
00:19:01,267 --> 00:19:01,988
Blugh...?
386
00:19:05,552 --> 00:19:07,274
You guys are in lot of trouble.
387
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:08,315
But baby...
388
00:19:08,916 --> 00:19:10,357
I thought she was you.
389
00:19:13,681 --> 00:19:16,244
Just... please don't do aanything to us.
390
00:19:16,844 --> 00:19:19,968
Look, I've got no choice. Your names are going in the book.
391
00:19:20,208 --> 00:19:21,930
All the casinos are gonna know who you are.
392
00:19:22,050 --> 00:19:23,932
You'll never gamble in this town again.
393
00:19:25,774 --> 00:19:28,537
That's it? You're not gonna break our legs or anything?
394
00:19:29,138 --> 00:19:31,581
I went to the Cornell School of Hotel Management.
395
00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:35,305
You got 30 minutes to check out,
396
00:19:35,665 --> 00:19:37,787
and I never want to see any of your faces around here again.
397
00:19:42,913 --> 00:19:46,517
Okay, 30 minutes, three contestants' room keys and a case of Mike's Hard Lemonade.
398
00:19:46,637 --> 00:19:47,879
See you guys at the car.
399
00:19:48,305 --> 00:19:54,290
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