Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,855 --> 00:00:03,655
Hey, honey.
2
00:00:04,335 --> 00:00:05,815
I found a box of your stuff in your closet.
3
00:00:05,815 --> 00:00:08,175
You must have forgotten it in your big boy move.
4
00:00:09,735 --> 00:00:10,575
What do you got there?
5
00:00:10,655 --> 00:00:11,975
I think... Oh.
6
00:00:12,535 --> 00:00:14,535
Wow, look at all the trophies.
7
00:00:14,655 --> 00:00:16,255
I had no idea you were so into sports.
8
00:00:16,655 --> 00:00:17,895
Michael into sports?
9
00:00:18,135 --> 00:00:20,615
-Those are all "Academic Decathlon" trophies.
-Yeah.
10
00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:24,215
They're actually just bowling trophies with the bowling balls cut off.
11
00:00:24,375 --> 00:00:27,655
Oh, I was wondering why all the smart people stood like this.
12
00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:32,215
Oh, check this out. It's a picture of my old decathlon team.
13
00:00:32,655 --> 00:00:34,455
- Wow, that's your team, huh?
- Yeah.
14
00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:36,975
- That girl's actually kind of cute.
- That's me.
15
00:00:40,455 --> 00:00:41,735
I wonder what's on these.
16
00:00:42,095 --> 00:00:44,815
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're just gonna pop a tape in in front of your mom?
17
00:00:44,855 --> 00:00:48,335
Aren't you worried that that might be something... "adult-themed"?
18
00:00:48,575 --> 00:00:51,255
Like, pornography? I'm not into that garbage.
19
00:00:51,615 --> 00:00:53,375
I think the fact that it's so acceptable
20
00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:54,935
is a real embarrassment.
21
00:00:56,495 --> 00:00:58,255
I love this guy.
22
00:01:03,975 --> 00:01:06,375
I guess some of your tapes got mixed in with mine.
23
00:01:13,975 --> 00:01:15,015
Mom!
24
00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:17,455
Yeah, not much slowed her down.
25
00:01:19,175 --> 00:01:21,135
What?! Back then no one knew that was bad for your baby!
26
00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:23,615
That was 20 years ago, Mom. They totally knew!
27
00:01:24,495 --> 00:01:26,015
It's okay, Michael. It's okay, Michael.
28
00:01:26,055 --> 00:01:29,215
My mom partied when she was pregnant with me, and I turned out pretty, uh...
29
00:01:29,615 --> 00:01:30,775
I, uh...
30
00:01:32,535 --> 00:01:34,255
That's the pigeon that took my sandwich!
31
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:42,074
Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become
a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM
32
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,575
Al, right, the disposal should work now. Flip the switch on.
33
00:02:19,735 --> 00:02:20,855
All right, turn it off.
34
00:02:22,615 --> 00:02:23,975
All right, turn it on.
35
00:02:24,935 --> 00:02:25,815
Turn it off.
36
00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,215
Okay, turn it on.
37
00:02:30,255 --> 00:02:31,655
All right, turn it off.
38
00:02:34,695 --> 00:02:35,935
Turn it on.
39
00:02:38,175 --> 00:02:39,175
Turn it off.
40
00:02:42,015 --> 00:02:43,575
Thank you very much for your help.
41
00:02:43,735 --> 00:02:44,935
Oh, Yeah. No problem.
42
00:02:47,975 --> 00:02:49,255
Hey, where have you guys been?
43
00:02:49,495 --> 00:02:50,895
I took Michael underwear shopping.
44
00:02:51,415 --> 00:02:52,775
Are you still wearing those things?
45
00:02:55,655 --> 00:02:56,575
What's the deal with this?
46
00:02:56,695 --> 00:02:59,015
Oh, Alex is fixing the garbage disposal.
47
00:02:59,175 --> 00:03:02,055
My God, that is so strange. From the neck down, I thought you were a boy.
48
00:03:03,255 --> 00:03:05,655
Oh, from the neck down, I thought you were a Hooters waitress.
49
00:03:07,535 --> 00:03:08,135
Nice.
50
00:03:08,295 --> 00:03:10,055
Thanks. I thought of it the other day.
51
00:03:12,135 --> 00:03:15,775
You are never going to believe who called me up today. Donna DiGregorio.
52
00:03:16,015 --> 00:03:17,615
She's coming to L.A. It's a last-minute thing.
53
00:03:17,735 --> 00:03:19,895
Donna?! Donna's coming here?
54
00:03:20,615 --> 00:03:23,295
- Why are you talking that way?
- What? What way is that?
55
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:26,575
You remember my friend Donna from high school.
56
00:03:26,735 --> 00:03:28,335
He used to have a thing for her.
57
00:03:28,455 --> 00:03:30,135
He'd get all nervous and weird when she was around.
58
00:03:30,175 --> 00:03:30,655
You?
59
00:03:30,695 --> 00:03:31,855
It's true, yeah.
60
00:03:32,015 --> 00:03:34,255
My experience with Donna is the reason I do not
61
00:03:34,295 --> 00:03:36,455
make fun of yow when you get all weird around girls.
62
00:03:36,615 --> 00:03:39,895
- You make fun of me every time.
- Come on! You are ridiculous!
63
00:03:41,735 --> 00:03:43,855
We used to have some fun. She taught me a lot.
64
00:03:43,975 --> 00:03:46,175
Hnw to dress, how to drink, how to pick up guys.
65
00:03:46,295 --> 00:03:48,375
Yeah, she's basically the reason you're here.
66
00:03:50,495 --> 00:03:52,295
I can't remember her. What's she like?
67
00:03:52,575 --> 00:03:55,455
She's everything you could ever want in a girl.
68
00:03:55,535 --> 00:03:56,655
Pretty? Yes.
69
00:03:56,735 --> 00:03:57,375
Funny? Yes.
70
00:03:57,455 --> 00:03:58,615
Smart? No.
71
00:03:59,735 --> 00:04:00,735
This could be fun, you know?
72
00:04:00,815 --> 00:04:02,775
I was always too afraid to go after her when I was young,
73
00:04:02,815 --> 00:04:04,455
but now that I've come into my own...
74
00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:06,735
- She's married.
- Stupid monogamy!
75
00:04:16,935 --> 00:04:18,295
Guess who?
76
00:04:18,375 --> 00:04:19,255
Uh...
77
00:04:19,775 --> 00:04:23,735
smells like hair spray, Juicy Fruit gum and tequila... Donna DiGregorio?!
78
00:04:25,815 --> 00:04:26,735
Hey, Donna!
79
00:04:26,815 --> 00:04:29,215
Look at you, little Joey Tribbiani.
80
00:04:29,975 --> 00:04:33,015
You look good. Not that I didn't think you would look good.
81
00:04:33,095 --> 00:04:35,695
I mean, not that I thought about how you would look at all. I mean...
82
00:04:35,855 --> 00:04:38,015
Hold it together. You're semi-famous now.
83
00:04:39,175 --> 00:04:41,695
Can you believe how she looks now? She's a spokesmodel.
84
00:04:41,855 --> 00:04:45,535
"This mattress clings to the contours of my body."
85
00:04:45,935 --> 00:04:49,135
See? All that mattress experience paid off, huh?
86
00:04:50,095 --> 00:04:51,495
I cannot believe you are here!
87
00:04:51,495 --> 00:04:53,415
Come here! Oh, my God!
88
00:04:53,535 --> 00:04:55,735
- And you look so good.
- I know! So do you!
89
00:04:55,735 --> 00:04:56,855
I know!
90
00:04:57,855 --> 00:04:59,135
You should have been at the last reunion.
91
00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:00,735
Everyone looks like crap.
92
00:05:01,055 --> 00:05:03,375
They've either gotten fat or had weird plastic surgery.
93
00:05:04,575 --> 00:05:05,455
Dumb-asses.
94
00:05:07,855 --> 00:05:10,215
Oh, Alex, hey, this is Donna. Donna, Alex.
95
00:05:10,335 --> 00:05:11,615
Donna is a friend of ours from high school.
96
00:05:11,695 --> 00:05:13,375
Oh, pleased to meet you.
97
00:05:13,415 --> 00:05:14,895
Is this the one you were talking about?
98
00:05:14,975 --> 00:05:18,335
- Yeah.
- I see what you mean!
99
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,895
Oh, great, there's two of them now.
100
00:05:22,615 --> 00:05:24,655
Hey, Joey, can I use your phone?
101
00:05:24,695 --> 00:05:25,815
Sure, yeah.
102
00:05:26,175 --> 00:05:27,695
You want to check in with your husband?
103
00:05:27,775 --> 00:05:32,015
Oh, no. I just gave Gina the whole story. I'm getting divnrced.
104
00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:37,775
- No!
- Yes!
105
00:05:38,135 --> 00:05:39,215
- No!
- Why?
106
00:05:39,375 --> 00:05:41,135
They just broke up. She's very fragile.
107
00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:42,855
I know it's gonna be so easy!
108
00:05:44,455 --> 00:05:47,455
I'm serious. She's in the middle of a divorce. She doesn't need you complicate things.
109
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:49,015
No, Joey.
110
00:05:49,135 --> 00:05:51,935
Donna was one of the few people who stuck by me when I got pregnant.
111
00:05:52,015 --> 00:05:54,135
Now that she's going through a rough time, I would like to help her out.
112
00:05:54,175 --> 00:05:55,455
Her life's messy enough without you.
113
00:05:55,455 --> 00:05:57,695
What, you think I'm just going to sleep with her and then lose interest?
114
00:05:57,775 --> 00:06:00,055
No I think you're going to marry her like all the others.
115
00:06:01,215 --> 00:06:03,935
-Come on!
-Joey, this is important to me.
116
00:06:04,215 --> 00:06:07,015
There are plenty of other women out there. Just stay away from this one.
117
00:06:07,615 --> 00:06:09,015
Okay, fine.
118
00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:10,775
- Promise?
- I promise.
119
00:06:10,815 --> 00:06:12,495
- You swear on Grandma's life?
- Yes.
120
00:06:12,655 --> 00:06:13,695
- The living one.
- Damn it!
121
00:06:15,135 --> 00:06:16,295
Okay.
122
00:06:16,975 --> 00:06:19,335
I forgot to tell work I was leaving town.
123
00:06:19,695 --> 00:06:23,175
I'm supposed to be in a bikini jumping up ant down on a trampoline right now.
124
00:06:24,655 --> 00:06:26,455
- What are you selling?
- Blenders.
125
00:06:28,375 --> 00:06:29,655
I've got to go get Michael.
126
00:06:29,735 --> 00:06:31,335
You want to come and then we can do some sightseeing?
127
00:06:31,455 --> 00:06:34,655
I think I'd kinda like to hang around here for a while if that's okay.
128
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:35,815
Okay.
129
00:06:36,335 --> 00:06:39,775
You get some sun. And you don't get anything.
130
00:06:44,495 --> 00:06:46,575
You know, I've been following your career.
131
00:06:46,815 --> 00:06:49,135
I guess some people are surprised you're a big success.
132
00:06:49,535 --> 00:06:50,975
Me? I'm shocked.
133
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:53,495
Me, too.
134
00:06:54,895 --> 00:06:57,975
You just always seemed so shaky and nervous around people.
135
00:06:58,495 --> 00:07:03,015
Uh, yeah, I think that might have been more of a Donna-specific behavior.
136
00:07:03,295 --> 00:07:04,215
Why?
137
00:07:06,135 --> 00:07:07,135
- Well...
- Oh...
138
00:07:07,295 --> 00:07:09,535
Is that why you used to break dance for me?
139
00:07:17,975 --> 00:07:20,575
Shocking that didn't work, huh? Yeah...
140
00:07:21,535 --> 00:07:25,935
So little Joey Tribbiani liked me. I can't believe I didn't pick up on that.
141
00:07:26,055 --> 00:07:27,055
Oh, I can believe it.
142
00:07:27,095 --> 00:07:29,135
You had a lot of guys fighting for your attention.
143
00:07:29,255 --> 00:07:31,615
You were... something else.
144
00:07:34,975 --> 00:07:37,175
Hey! Miss mattress, you're coming with me.
145
00:07:40,495 --> 00:07:42,095
This is fun sorting through these tapes.
146
00:07:42,135 --> 00:07:43,335
Only one more tape to go.
147
00:07:43,535 --> 00:07:46,295
If this is another spelling bee, I'm going to put a fork in my eye.
148
00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:53,135
This is weird. Why is there a tape of kids playing baseball?
149
00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:54,615
Maybe you're out there.
150
00:07:54,895 --> 00:07:56,735
I doubt it. I was awful at sports.
151
00:07:57,175 --> 00:08:00,015
But I also don't like the idea of my mom just videotaping other children.
152
00:08:04,295 --> 00:08:05,575
That's me.
153
00:08:06,415 --> 00:08:07,695
This is weird, you know...
154
00:08:07,775 --> 00:08:09,655
I do kind of remember playing Little League for a while.
155
00:08:10,375 --> 00:08:13,655
God, this is gonna be embarrassing. I don't wanna see this.
156
00:08:13,695 --> 00:08:15,015
No, no, no, no! If you let me watch this,
157
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:18,215
afterwards I'll show you a tape of me doing stand-up.
158
00:08:18,375 --> 00:08:20,855
This guy heckles me, and I totally lose it!
159
00:08:21,815 --> 00:08:22,735
Deal.
160
00:08:23,375 --> 00:08:25,815
Okay, guys, back it up! We've got Michael at the plate!
161
00:08:26,095 --> 00:08:27,935
What, even the coach is making fun of me?
162
00:08:32,415 --> 00:08:34,255
Another home run for Michael!
163
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:35,495
Wait a minute.
164
00:08:36,335 --> 00:08:37,815
Was I good at baseball?
165
00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:39,295
It sure looks like it.
166
00:08:39,615 --> 00:08:42,615
Why didn't I know that? Why did my mother keep this from me?
167
00:08:42,775 --> 00:08:44,815
Why is that little boy peeing on third base?
168
00:08:46,815 --> 00:08:47,975
- Hey.
- Hey.
169
00:08:48,335 --> 00:08:51,455
- Mom, was I good at baseball?
- What are you talking about?
170
00:08:51,495 --> 00:08:55,215
Why did you keep this from him? And what did that kid drink?
171
00:08:57,295 --> 00:09:00,535
Okay. You were a good ballplayer, but I pulled you out of it.
172
00:09:00,615 --> 00:09:01,335
Why?
173
00:09:01,455 --> 00:09:02,855
'Cause I didn't want you to get hurt.
174
00:09:02,935 --> 00:09:04,575
I was just trying to protect you.
175
00:09:04,615 --> 00:09:06,175
Joey, tell him I was right.
176
00:09:06,575 --> 00:09:07,615
I don't know, Gina.
177
00:09:07,695 --> 00:09:09,215
I mean, I got hurt all the time when I was a kid.
178
00:09:09,295 --> 00:09:12,775
And, yeah, I've got some scars, but each one taught me an important lesson:
179
00:09:13,095 --> 00:09:14,615
Don't touch the stove.
180
00:09:15,135 --> 00:09:17,135
Don't run with scissors in your mouth.
181
00:09:18,175 --> 00:09:20,335
Don't lick the peanut butter off steak knife.
182
00:09:23,135 --> 00:09:24,975
You know, I don't have any scars.
183
00:09:25,055 --> 00:09:27,175
Or body hair. You think that's related to this?
184
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,135
Look, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say.
185
00:09:30,175 --> 00:09:31,895
I'm sorry you don't have any scars.
186
00:09:32,215 --> 00:09:33,455
I guess I was a terrible mother.
187
00:09:33,575 --> 00:09:36,415
No, I'm just saying I missed out on something important.
188
00:09:36,575 --> 00:09:37,855
Well, thank God you moved out.
189
00:09:37,895 --> 00:09:40,735
Now you can play baseball and crack your head open all you want.
190
00:09:42,495 --> 00:09:45,895
Cracking your head open... always stay seated in the roller-coaster.
191
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:58,095
Hi, you must be Michael. I'm your mom's friend, Donna.
192
00:09:58,175 --> 00:09:59,135
Oh.
193
00:09:59,335 --> 00:10:00,135
Hi.
194
00:10:00,415 --> 00:10:03,295
I didn't know you looked... looked...
195
00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:06,055
I mean, I had no idea... that, that, that...
196
00:10:06,095 --> 00:10:07,455
Right there with ya, buddy.
197
00:10:08,495 --> 00:10:09,855
N-nice to meet you.
198
00:10:12,455 --> 00:10:13,975
Hey, what are you doing here?
199
00:10:14,575 --> 00:10:17,415
I don't know. I guess I just wanted to come spend some time with you.
200
00:10:18,215 --> 00:10:20,415
- Why?
- Why?!
201
00:10:21,135 --> 00:10:22,935
Do you need me to break-dance for you?
202
00:10:24,295 --> 00:10:25,215
Oh.
203
00:10:27,615 --> 00:10:29,935
See, I was out with Gina and I loved being with her,
204
00:10:30,095 --> 00:10:33,655
but we were sitting there talking and for some reason,
205
00:10:33,895 --> 00:10:36,335
I couldn't stop thinking about her little brother
206
00:10:36,775 --> 00:10:38,855
and how nice he'd grown up.
207
00:10:41,335 --> 00:10:43,495
You're touching me. Don't touch me. You can't touch me!
208
00:10:43,575 --> 00:10:44,895
You can't! You can't! You can't!
209
00:10:47,055 --> 00:10:49,015
Wow, that's the first time that's ever happened.
210
00:10:49,335 --> 00:10:50,655
No, no, no, Donna.
211
00:10:50,855 --> 00:10:52,335
I would love to spend more time with you,
212
00:10:52,455 --> 00:10:54,655
but I promised Gina I wouldn't do anything with you.
213
00:10:54,935 --> 00:10:55,935
Why?
214
00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:57,775
She thinks you're in a weird place.
215
00:10:58,535 --> 00:11:00,455
I'm not in a weird place. I'm in your apartment.
216
00:11:02,655 --> 00:11:05,215
Oh, God, you are the perfect amount of dumb!
217
00:11:08,255 --> 00:11:11,455
No, she thinks you're in a weird place in your life with the divorce.
218
00:11:11,815 --> 00:11:13,175
She's afraid you're a little fragile.
219
00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:15,415
Well, it's too bad.
220
00:11:15,895 --> 00:11:17,055
It could have been fun.
221
00:11:17,535 --> 00:11:19,095
We're both very sexy.
222
00:11:23,815 --> 00:11:24,695
It's funny.
223
00:11:25,135 --> 00:11:27,735
You like me and I don't even notice you.
224
00:11:27,935 --> 00:11:30,575
And I want you, and you can't do anything about it.
225
00:11:31,215 --> 00:11:34,735
I guess it's not meant to be. I'll see ya.
226
00:11:45,655 --> 00:11:48,335
Oh, my God, I have wanted to do that for so long.
227
00:11:48,415 --> 00:11:49,415
Me, too!
228
00:11:49,615 --> 00:11:50,135
Really?
229
00:11:50,175 --> 00:11:52,655
Actually, it's only been since this morning, but it's been tough.
230
00:12:01,575 --> 00:12:03,255
God, I can't believe I fell asleep.
231
00:12:03,855 --> 00:12:06,255
You should have woken me up. I've gotta get back to Gina's.
232
00:12:06,535 --> 00:12:09,135
No, last night can't end with you running out the door.
233
00:12:09,175 --> 00:12:10,135
Let me make you a proper breakfast.
234
00:12:10,215 --> 00:12:11,735
Joey, I don't have time for that.
235
00:12:11,775 --> 00:12:14,575
- Come on, how many eggs do you want?
- Six.
236
00:12:16,295 --> 00:12:17,295
She's perfect.
237
00:12:20,135 --> 00:12:22,335
So, last night was really fun.
238
00:12:22,655 --> 00:12:25,975
It was, yeah. And not just the part that's supposed to be fun--
239
00:12:27,135 --> 00:12:29,135
the talking, the sharing.
240
00:12:29,495 --> 00:12:32,815
And I finally get what this cuddling fuss is all about.
241
00:12:34,255 --> 00:12:36,535
I still can't believe this has happened. You...
242
00:12:38,055 --> 00:12:40,175
you are, like, my dream girl.
243
00:12:44,335 --> 00:12:47,055
- Michael? Joey? Open up.
- Oh, my God. Gina.
244
00:12:47,815 --> 00:12:48,935
Okay, new plan:
245
00:12:49,015 --> 00:12:52,215
last night ends with you sneaking out the back and rolling down the hill.
246
00:12:53,055 --> 00:12:55,615
- We'll talk later.
- Yeah, you got to get out of here.
247
00:12:55,655 --> 00:13:00,775
- What is taking so long?
- Uh... I'm, uh... naked.
248
00:13:00,895 --> 00:13:02,415
I'm just covering myself up.
249
00:13:04,215 --> 00:13:05,375
Sorry.
250
00:13:06,215 --> 00:13:07,335
I don't get people like you.
251
00:13:07,415 --> 00:13:09,535
Why do you gotta walk around naked in your house?
252
00:13:09,575 --> 00:13:11,575
Why do you gotta walk around naked in public?
253
00:13:13,015 --> 00:13:14,855
Because I like to make the world smile.
254
00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:18,855
I'm really worried. Donna didn't come home last night.
255
00:13:19,895 --> 00:13:21,055
I'm sure she's fine.
256
00:13:21,655 --> 00:13:23,095
What makes you say that?
257
00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:26,175
What makes people say anything, really? I mean...
258
00:13:27,455 --> 00:13:30,775
- Was she here?
- Gina, I made a promise.
259
00:13:33,055 --> 00:13:35,495
Only six eggs. This omelet isn't for you. What's going on?
260
00:13:35,495 --> 00:13:36,575
It's for Michael.
261
00:13:36,615 --> 00:13:39,655
- He only takes two eggs.
- That skinny little bastard.
262
00:13:41,135 --> 00:13:44,855
All right, look... I know I broke a promise, but I have a good excuse.
263
00:13:44,935 --> 00:13:48,215
- Oh, yeah? What?
- She is so hot.
264
00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:51,655
- God, you are so unbelievable.
- Gina, come on, she's a big girl.
265
00:13:51,695 --> 00:13:53,295
She can make her own decisions.
266
00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:55,535
She can't right now. That's why I didn't want you to mess with her.
267
00:13:55,615 --> 00:13:57,895
I'm not messing with her. I really care about her.
268
00:13:58,055 --> 00:14:00,455
Oh, like you cared about ten of my friends in one month's time?
269
00:14:00,695 --> 00:14:02,655
Ah, yes, October of '89.
270
00:14:05,455 --> 00:14:07,615
- I can't believe you did this.
- Wait, wait a minute.
271
00:14:07,735 --> 00:14:09,935
Look, this is different from all those other girls, okay?
272
00:14:10,055 --> 00:14:13,295
I mean, maybe it's because there's a history with Donna,
273
00:14:13,415 --> 00:14:16,775
but yesterday, when I was with her, it was the first time since I've been in L.A.
274
00:14:16,895 --> 00:14:20,255
that I actually... that I actually felt like I was home.
275
00:14:21,375 --> 00:14:22,615
Oh, damn it, that's nice.
276
00:14:24,015 --> 00:14:26,255
Look, Gina, I don't want to upset you, okay?
277
00:14:26,735 --> 00:14:29,975
But I'm really into Donna. And I want to see her again tonight.
278
00:14:33,175 --> 00:14:35,255
- You treat her right.
- I promise.
279
00:14:35,495 --> 00:14:38,135
And not the kind of promise I made before. A real one.
280
00:14:40,855 --> 00:14:43,255
So, you and Donna DiGregorio, huh?
281
00:14:43,775 --> 00:14:47,055
I guess the only friend of mine you haven't been with is Jenny Wagner.
282
00:14:50,775 --> 00:14:53,575
- October of '89?
- It was a good month.
283
00:14:59,095 --> 00:15:00,455
Think I'll still be good at this?
284
00:15:00,495 --> 00:15:02,815
It's like having sex on a bicycle. It'll just come back to you.
285
00:15:07,695 --> 00:15:10,255
- How's my swing look?
- Like you're good at science.
286
00:15:11,895 --> 00:15:13,815
Okay, try it again. Nice and hard this time.
287
00:15:13,895 --> 00:15:14,775
All right.
288
00:15:15,695 --> 00:15:20,215
Okay, I'm only saying this to be supportive and helpful: Are you kidding?
289
00:15:21,815 --> 00:15:24,255
Just put some quarters in the machine, will you, please?
290
00:15:27,695 --> 00:15:29,815
Oh, shoot, I'm short one. Give me another quarter.
291
00:15:29,855 --> 00:15:31,415
Go in the glove compartment.
292
00:15:32,735 --> 00:15:35,415
What the hell?! I thought you said you needed another quarter.
293
00:15:35,615 --> 00:15:37,655
- For a gum ball.
- For a g... aah!
294
00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:43,175
Oh, man.
295
00:15:43,615 --> 00:15:45,815
This is one good gum ball.
296
00:15:46,895 --> 00:15:48,535
Still flavorful, you know.
297
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:51,735
I mean, when it came out yellow, I was all, like, "What?"
298
00:15:54,015 --> 00:15:55,575
- Hey.
- Hey.
299
00:15:56,015 --> 00:15:56,975
What happened to you?
300
00:15:57,055 --> 00:15:58,975
I was attacked by a gang of baseballs.
301
00:16:00,175 --> 00:16:01,215
Oh, so you played?
302
00:16:01,375 --> 00:16:03,575
Well, I tried. Any talent I had before is now gone.
303
00:16:03,735 --> 00:16:05,055
Long gone.
304
00:16:05,135 --> 00:16:07,455
Look, honey, I'm sorry.
305
00:16:07,615 --> 00:16:10,215
But you were good at a lot of things. I had to make a choice.
306
00:16:10,495 --> 00:16:12,255
You could either be the jock or the smart kid.
307
00:16:12,295 --> 00:16:15,415
And I figured being the smart kid would lead you more places.
308
00:16:15,495 --> 00:16:16,095
She's right.
309
00:16:16,215 --> 00:16:18,135
We actually went to school with a lot of jocks, you know.
310
00:16:18,175 --> 00:16:19,655
And those guys are nowhere now.
311
00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:21,335
Except for the three guys in the NBA.
312
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,055
I just don't see why you had to choose.
313
00:16:24,975 --> 00:16:26,135
Maybe you're right.
314
00:16:26,455 --> 00:16:29,095
But you got to understand, when I made that decision, I was just a kid.
315
00:16:29,415 --> 00:16:32,695
I mean, when you were five, I was 20. That's how old you are now.
316
00:16:35,375 --> 00:16:38,535
Well, I mean, if I look at it that way, then I can forgive you for anything.
317
00:16:39,015 --> 00:16:42,735
Good, 'cause I also might have bathed with you longer than was appropriate.
318
00:16:46,175 --> 00:16:47,655
See? You got scars.
319
00:16:47,855 --> 00:16:49,415
On the inside.
320
00:17:01,735 --> 00:17:04,535
it took me three months to grow that, but help yourself.
321
00:17:06,375 --> 00:17:08,815
Oh, sorry. I got a big date tonight.
322
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,495
Really? Who with?
323
00:17:10,495 --> 00:17:12,495
- You remember Donna?
- Yeah.
324
00:17:12,855 --> 00:17:14,975
Did I see her rolling down the hill this morning?
325
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:19,055
Oh, look at you. You look so happy.
326
00:17:19,535 --> 00:17:21,375
- Are you in love?
- No.
327
00:17:21,455 --> 00:17:22,935
- Are you on the way to being in love?
- No.
328
00:17:23,055 --> 00:17:25,055
Are you on the way to "on the way to being in love"?
329
00:17:25,135 --> 00:17:26,495
I think I might be.
330
00:17:28,335 --> 00:17:32,335
Well, you have to understand I had the biggest crushon this girl, you know,
331
00:17:32,375 --> 00:17:33,935
so I really built her up.
332
00:17:34,015 --> 00:17:36,215
And you'd think getting to be with her would be disappointing,
333
00:17:36,495 --> 00:17:39,895
but I got to say, the real girl is even better than the fantasy.
334
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:42,175
But, so, how is this gonna work? Doesn't she live in New York?
335
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:45,295
Yeah, yeah, she said she was toying with the idea of moving out here,
336
00:17:45,375 --> 00:17:47,175
but I don't think it's gonna happen.
337
00:17:47,535 --> 00:17:49,255
Well, you should tell her you want her to stay.
338
00:17:49,575 --> 00:17:50,295
Yeah, you think?
339
00:17:50,415 --> 00:17:52,335
Yeah, when I first met my husband,
340
00:17:52,615 --> 00:17:54,455
we had this great couple of weeks together.
341
00:17:54,495 --> 00:17:56,535
And then I was supposed to leave for a job in Chicago
342
00:17:56,735 --> 00:17:59,775
and he said, "Please don't go. I don't ever want to be apart."
343
00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:01,735
- Oh, that's so sweet.
- Yeah.
344
00:18:02,175 --> 00:18:05,015
Then he took out his viola and he played Billy Joel's "She's Always a Woman,"
345
00:18:05,175 --> 00:18:07,015
and I had to smile through it like this.
346
00:18:10,015 --> 00:18:13,095
So you think if I ask her, she might stay?
347
00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:16,775
Well, she'd be crazy if she didn't want to.
348
00:18:16,855 --> 00:18:20,295
Because you are one of the last remaining good ones.
349
00:18:20,415 --> 00:18:22,335
- Really?
- Yeah. Really.
350
00:18:22,455 --> 00:18:23,095
There.
351
00:18:23,535 --> 00:18:25,375
Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot, Alex.
352
00:18:25,895 --> 00:18:29,135
Say, Alex, you know, if Donna does move out,
353
00:18:29,215 --> 00:18:32,175
maybe you and Gina and her could hang out and be friends.
354
00:18:32,495 --> 00:18:33,575
- Maybe.
- Don't Billy Joel smile me.
355
00:18:40,135 --> 00:18:41,095
Here's what I was thinking for tonight.
356
00:18:41,175 --> 00:18:42,415
Thought maybe we could
357
00:18:42,495 --> 00:18:45,615
have dinner at this great little place in Marina Del Rey.
358
00:18:45,655 --> 00:18:46,695
Then after that,
359
00:18:46,775 --> 00:18:49,615
we're going to go to a dessert-only place I heard about in Newport.
360
00:18:49,735 --> 00:18:50,695
And then after that,
361
00:18:50,775 --> 00:18:53,935
I thought maybe we could go for a walk on the beach in Malibu.
362
00:18:54,015 --> 00:18:55,615
That's like five hours of driving.
363
00:18:57,615 --> 00:18:58,495
Really?
364
00:18:58,575 --> 00:19:01,015
Why can't they make maps the size things really are?
365
00:19:02,935 --> 00:19:03,855
All right, uh...
366
00:19:04,295 --> 00:19:06,135
Well, I'm going to go change some of our reservations...
367
00:19:08,575 --> 00:19:10,815
I can't believe you are going out with my brother.
368
00:19:10,855 --> 00:19:11,975
I don't want to get ahead of myself,
369
00:19:12,015 --> 00:19:13,095
but if you guys get married,
370
00:19:13,135 --> 00:19:15,775
you should do it at the Polish Community Center on Queens Boulevard.
371
00:19:15,975 --> 00:19:17,615
It's very classy.
372
00:19:19,335 --> 00:19:21,135
I gotta talk to you about something.
373
00:19:21,375 --> 00:19:23,335
- What? You all right?
- No.
374
00:19:23,855 --> 00:19:26,615
Gina, I feel really weird talking to you about this,
375
00:19:26,895 --> 00:19:28,975
but I'm confused, and I don't know what to do.
376
00:19:29,055 --> 00:19:30,055
What's the matter?
377
00:19:31,535 --> 00:19:34,295
Ron just called. He wants to get back together.
378
00:19:34,535 --> 00:19:35,575
And what'd you say?
379
00:19:35,615 --> 00:19:38,415
I said I met someone else and I had to think about it.
380
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:40,495
You're gonna tell Joey, right?
381
00:19:40,855 --> 00:19:42,215
You have to tell him.
382
00:19:43,855 --> 00:19:46,895
Okay, I couldn't change the reservations. So we gotta haul ass.
383
00:19:48,775 --> 00:19:50,495
Are you ready, beautiful?
384
00:19:57,295 --> 00:19:59,495
Aw, Joey...
385
00:20:01,055 --> 00:20:03,335
Those two would have some stupid kids.
386
00:20:04,305 --> 00:20:10,833
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
30559
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.