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1
00:00:05,110 --> 00:00:07,352
Do I smell Mom's special chicken noodle soup?
2
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That's right.
3
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Box of Lipton's and a cut-up hot dog.
4
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Man, that woman can cook!
5
00:00:14,918 --> 00:00:15,999
What are you so happy about?
6
00:00:16,319 --> 00:00:17,680
It's Michael-- he's sick.
7
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And that's a good thing?
8
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Yeah, a sick boy needs his mother.
9
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I'm necessary again.
10
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Oh, look at him! He looks so pale.
11
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Dude, you look awful.
12
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Yeah, I feel awful. I think I got the flu.
13
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Oh, don't you tease me!
14
00:00:35,935 --> 00:00:37,816
Come on, sit down, honey. I want to take your temperature.
15
00:00:38,137 --> 00:00:39,097
You have a thermometer?
16
00:00:39,137 --> 00:00:40,379
Uh, I think I do, yeah.
17
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:42,941
When I left Days of Our Lives, I took a whole box of their stuff.
18
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They just let you take all that stuff?
19
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,624
When you shove it down your pants, they don't seem to mind.
20
00:00:49,586 --> 00:00:50,987
Why is there writing all over everything?
21
00:00:51,147 --> 00:00:52,428
Oh, that's dialogue.
22
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I used the props as cheat sheets when I had to remember difficult medical jargon.
23
00:00:56,592 --> 00:00:58,153
"Hi, I'm Dr. Ramoray."
24
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That took 20 takes.
25
00:01:03,877 --> 00:01:05,078
Man, this stuff really takes me back.
26
00:01:05,639 --> 00:01:08,962
All those years playing a doctor, I feel like I actually became one, you know?
27
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And these were the tools of my trade.
28
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Knee hammer...
29
00:01:14,246 --> 00:01:15,527
ear looker...
30
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necklace.
31
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Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become
a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM
32
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Hi. I'm here to read for the part of "Outraged Man."
33
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Just sign in right here.
34
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Like hell I will!
35
00:02:02,365 --> 00:02:04,246
Sorry, I bet people have been doing that all day.
36
00:02:04,526 --> 00:02:06,008
Nope, you're the only one.
37
00:02:06,608 --> 00:02:07,729
All right.
38
00:02:13,454 --> 00:02:15,896
Sure are a lot of people here for such a small part.
39
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,337
There are no small parts...
40
00:02:18,137 --> 00:02:19,379
only small actors.
41
00:02:21,420 --> 00:02:23,182
You mean... children?
42
00:02:25,063 --> 00:02:26,464
I kinda need to go over my lines.
43
00:02:26,624 --> 00:02:28,346
Not me. Got it all right up here.
44
00:02:30,387 --> 00:02:31,108
Nope.
45
00:02:33,790 --> 00:02:35,792
Hey, buddy, you need to look on?
46
00:02:36,312 --> 00:02:37,793
Yeah, thanks, man.
47
00:02:38,354 --> 00:02:40,115
All right. Got it.
48
00:02:40,676 --> 00:02:42,237
I'm Brian Michael David Scott.
49
00:02:44,078 --> 00:02:45,400
That's a lot of names.
50
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,081
I'm a lot of actor.
51
00:02:48,842 --> 00:02:50,083
I'm Joey Tribbiani.
52
00:02:50,203 --> 00:02:51,925
Oh, please, I know who you are.
53
00:02:52,245 --> 00:02:56,248
Dr. Drake Ramoray from Days of Our Lives. I'm a big fan of your work.
54
00:02:56,569 --> 00:02:58,370
Really? Well, thanks, man.
55
00:02:58,450 --> 00:03:01,893
I'd offer you a Days of Our Lives T-shirt, but I only got two left,
56
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,654
and I like to trade those for sex.
57
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:06,537
So, I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other.
58
00:03:06,617 --> 00:03:08,818
You know, probably up for a lot of the same roles--
59
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:12,862
male, mid-'30s, dangerous, but sensitive.
60
00:03:14,623 --> 00:03:18,306
Man, this audition is taking a long time. I'm going to call my agent.
61
00:03:19,387 --> 00:03:20,708
Speed dial...
62
00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:26,673
Hi, Lisa, it's Bri-Mi. Look... Huh? What?! You're kidding?
63
00:03:26,753 --> 00:03:30,116
No, wait, wait, don't blame yourself. I'll call you back.
64
00:03:30,196 --> 00:03:31,397
Bad news, man.
65
00:03:31,477 --> 00:03:33,078
They canceled this audition.
66
00:03:33,198 --> 00:03:34,719
They gave the part to someone else.
67
00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:38,442
And no one here told us? Now I really am Outraged Man.
68
00:03:39,563 --> 00:03:40,684
Well, who'd they give it to?
69
00:03:40,724 --> 00:03:43,246
Probably somebody who's willing to sleep with the producers.
70
00:03:43,286 --> 00:03:45,928
That's how this town works, isn't it? There, I said it!
71
00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:49,892
Well, I guess we can go then, huh?
72
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:52,814
You know, you go. I'm going to stick around.
73
00:03:52,894 --> 00:03:55,937
My, uh, apartment doesn't have air-conditioning.
74
00:03:58,379 --> 00:04:01,501
- Really great meeting you, Brian...
- Brian Michael David Scott.
75
00:04:01,621 --> 00:04:04,183
- How do you feel about "Dude"?
- Awesome, my brotha.
76
00:04:08,106 --> 00:04:09,628
Joey Tribbiani?
77
00:04:09,908 --> 00:04:10,668
Joey?
78
00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:17,394
Hey, did-did someone say my name?
79
00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:21,837
No. Uh, no one did. But someday soon, everyone will.
80
00:04:32,926 --> 00:04:34,288
I'm going to go fix you more tea.
81
00:04:35,328 --> 00:04:38,731
Hey, Gina, look, uh, you've been here for a couple days now without a break.
82
00:04:38,731 --> 00:04:40,212
Why don't you let me take over, you know?
83
00:04:40,252 --> 00:04:41,734
Go have a little "Gina time".
84
00:04:42,534 --> 00:04:44,896
I don't have "Gina time" anymore. I'm a mother.
85
00:04:45,296 --> 00:04:48,019
I don't go out. I don't go on dates. I don't have fun.
86
00:04:48,339 --> 00:04:49,700
I don't do anything for myself anymore.
87
00:04:50,180 --> 00:04:51,541
So, you got those for Michael?
88
00:04:57,586 --> 00:05:00,709
She's not going anywhere. How you feeling?
89
00:05:01,269 --> 00:05:01,990
Not great.
90
00:05:02,550 --> 00:05:04,952
But everything's going to be fine tomorrow.
91
00:05:05,112 --> 00:05:06,233
How do you figure?
92
00:05:06,313 --> 00:05:08,875
Well, if she doesn't leave by then, I'm gonna kill myself.
93
00:05:10,517 --> 00:05:11,838
Don't be so dramatic.
94
00:05:11,918 --> 00:05:14,360
She said we're going to "flush" my system, Joey.
95
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:16,121
I don't know what that means.
96
00:05:17,683 --> 00:05:19,924
Yeah, your grandmother was the same way when I was sick.
97
00:05:20,004 --> 00:05:21,726
I've had my system flushed.
98
00:05:23,207 --> 00:05:24,968
Makes you ask yourself some big questions.
99
00:05:26,970 --> 00:05:27,891
Come on, Joey, you got to get up.
100
00:05:27,971 --> 00:05:29,052
Michael's about to take his nap in here.
101
00:05:29,172 --> 00:05:31,133
She makes me take a nap every day at 1:00.
102
00:05:31,654 --> 00:05:33,255
Not tomorrow, though.
103
00:05:34,456 --> 00:05:36,258
Fine, all right, I'll go watch TV in my room.
104
00:05:36,298 --> 00:05:38,459
No, no, no. You can't. I put the humidifier in there.
105
00:05:38,459 --> 00:05:39,620
It's filling up with steam.
106
00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:42,743
What? You just take over my room? I've got private stuff in there.
107
00:05:43,183 --> 00:05:45,505
Well, if you're worried about me reading your diary, it's too late.
108
00:05:46,025 --> 00:05:48,668
"Dear Diary, Gina's mean to me..."
109
00:05:48,788 --> 00:05:50,469
That's going straight in the book.
110
00:05:51,670 --> 00:05:53,431
Look, Gina, I know Michael's sick.
111
00:05:53,512 --> 00:05:55,753
But this is my apartment. I need some space.
112
00:05:55,753 --> 00:05:56,914
Look, why don't you just go to my place?
113
00:05:56,954 --> 00:05:58,275
You can stay there till he gets better.
114
00:05:58,395 --> 00:05:59,436
I don't want to do that.
115
00:05:59,596 --> 00:06:01,318
There's lasagna in the fridge, and I have Cinemax.
116
00:06:01,398 --> 00:06:02,959
Get me the keys.
117
00:06:07,923 --> 00:06:09,605
No, thank you, thank you.
118
00:06:09,845 --> 00:06:11,766
It's easy when the words are this good.
119
00:06:13,087 --> 00:06:14,689
- Hey, dude.
- Hey, Joey!
120
00:06:14,849 --> 00:06:17,211
- How'd you do in there?
- Really well.
121
00:06:18,972 --> 00:06:21,614
Hey, I know we're in competition for this thing, but you know what?
122
00:06:21,774 --> 00:06:25,217
If I don't get it, I hope that you do. How 'bout that?
123
00:06:26,098 --> 00:06:27,259
You are awesome.
124
00:06:27,339 --> 00:06:29,781
No, I'm just Brian Michael David Scott, Joey.
125
00:06:29,781 --> 00:06:31,302
Hey, you added a "Joey"!
126
00:06:33,424 --> 00:06:35,786
- Joey Tribbiani?
- Yeah, right here.
127
00:06:35,946 --> 00:06:37,227
Oh, hey, buddy. Listen.
128
00:06:37,307 --> 00:06:39,469
I got some inside info on this audition,
129
00:06:39,589 --> 00:06:42,791
and I wouldn't feel right about leaving without sharing it with my new best friend.
130
00:06:42,871 --> 00:06:44,513
Oh, great. What do you got?
131
00:06:44,553 --> 00:06:46,594
Uh, this casting director is deaf,
132
00:06:46,755 --> 00:06:49,076
so you gotta scream all your lines.
133
00:06:50,317 --> 00:06:51,879
Thanks. That is good to know.
134
00:06:55,842 --> 00:06:59,485
Maybe your husband's funeral isn't the best place to tell you this,
135
00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:01,406
but I love you, Sharon!
136
00:07:01,807 --> 00:07:04,169
I love you with all my heart!
137
00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:08,052
So, when will I know if I got it?!
138
00:07:10,374 --> 00:07:12,335
What's the middle finger in sign language?
139
00:07:19,141 --> 00:07:22,063
Yeah, well, Mother, I don't understand what you're so upset about.
140
00:07:22,584 --> 00:07:24,585
So, they're going to remove your uterus?
141
00:07:24,665 --> 00:07:26,266
What do you need it for?
142
00:07:28,388 --> 00:07:31,591
Look, I gotta go. Yeah, I love you, too. Bye!
143
00:07:33,192 --> 00:07:34,954
What'd you want to see me about?
144
00:07:35,034 --> 00:07:37,676
Well, I wanted to explain to you how the business works.
145
00:07:37,876 --> 00:07:40,998
See, you book a job, and I get ten percent.
146
00:07:41,479 --> 00:07:43,560
Do you know what ten percent of zero is?
147
00:07:43,681 --> 00:07:46,283
Uh, six goes into 40...
148
00:07:47,203 --> 00:07:48,244
Oh, God!
149
00:07:48,284 --> 00:07:51,047
I have never wanted to slap you more.
150
00:07:52,288 --> 00:07:54,289
Look, you are screwing up your career!
151
00:07:54,489 --> 00:07:57,732
You don't show up for an audition, you scream at a casting director...
152
00:07:57,892 --> 00:08:00,254
Well, the only reason I did that is 'cause he's deaf.
153
00:08:00,334 --> 00:08:01,575
Who told you that?
154
00:08:01,775 --> 00:08:04,818
This actor. I see him at all my auditions. He gives me pointers.
155
00:08:05,258 --> 00:08:06,539
Oh, wait a second.
156
00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:08,260
Is he the reason why
157
00:08:08,340 --> 00:08:09,742
you went into an audition,
158
00:08:09,782 --> 00:08:11,903
you threw away your script and you start barking?
159
00:08:11,943 --> 00:08:13,385
Yeah. Did I get that part?
160
00:08:14,185 --> 00:08:16,787
Oh, Joey, he's messing with your head.
161
00:08:16,907 --> 00:08:17,348
What?
162
00:08:17,508 --> 00:08:20,550
Yeah, your little friend is shoving crap up your pooper.
163
00:08:23,152 --> 00:08:24,193
Joey...
164
00:08:24,594 --> 00:08:26,755
you're such a sweet, naive guy.
165
00:08:27,116 --> 00:08:29,838
But you can't let people take advantage of you.
166
00:08:30,238 --> 00:08:32,240
I really liked him. I can't believe this.
167
00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:35,683
I can't believe they take the fat out of my ass and put it in my lips, but they do.
168
00:08:41,527 --> 00:08:43,209
"But then she surprises me.
169
00:08:43,449 --> 00:08:46,892
Like tonight, she generously offered me her place to stay...
170
00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:50,294
Well, I guess that's all for now.
171
00:08:50,334 --> 00:08:52,416
Until tomorrow.
172
00:08:53,977 --> 00:08:55,619
Sincerely..."
173
00:08:59,342 --> 00:09:03,225
"Love, Joey."
174
00:09:26,364 --> 00:09:28,045
Hey, baby doll.
175
00:09:28,765 --> 00:09:30,167
- What?!
- What?
176
00:09:30,327 --> 00:09:31,648
What? Wha...?!
177
00:09:32,408 --> 00:09:34,010
- Who-who are you?!
- Who are you?!
178
00:09:34,130 --> 00:09:35,731
- I'm Roger!
- I'm Joey!
179
00:09:37,573 --> 00:09:39,534
Well, that doesn't help us at all!
180
00:09:41,376 --> 00:09:42,977
I'm Gina's boyfriend!
181
00:09:43,097 --> 00:09:45,619
Gina doesn't have a boyfriend! I'm her brother. I would know.
182
00:09:45,859 --> 00:09:49,462
You're her brother? Oh, you're not supposed to know about me.
183
00:09:49,742 --> 00:09:51,304
Can you just pretend you don't know what's going on?
184
00:09:51,384 --> 00:09:53,265
I don't know what's going on!
185
00:09:53,986 --> 00:09:55,787
Now all we do is decide which one of us gets to stay.
186
00:09:55,907 --> 00:09:57,429
Get out of here!
187
00:10:08,918 --> 00:10:13,201
Hey. So, I found out about your little secret last night.
188
00:10:13,722 --> 00:10:16,604
Oh, my God. Last night was Wednesday. I forgot. Poor Roger!
189
00:10:16,724 --> 00:10:19,406
Poor Roger?! Poor Roger's bed buddy!
190
00:10:20,768 --> 00:10:22,289
That guy's all hands!
191
00:10:24,410 --> 00:10:26,092
Look, let's not make a big deal about this, okay?
192
00:10:26,492 --> 00:10:27,733
He's just some guy I've been seeing.
193
00:10:27,813 --> 00:10:29,294
Well, so why didn't you just tell me about him?
194
00:10:29,334 --> 00:10:30,696
Because I knew you would tell Michael.
195
00:10:30,776 --> 00:10:31,376
So?
196
00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:33,258
So, he doesn't like to know about that stuff.
197
00:10:33,618 --> 00:10:35,499
When he was 12, and I was seeing this guy,
198
00:10:35,579 --> 00:10:37,501
he built a BioDome in the backyard,
199
00:10:37,541 --> 00:10:39,503
and he wouldn't come out till I stopped dating him.
200
00:10:39,543 --> 00:10:42,345
- What's a BioDome?
- It's, like, a nerd fort.
201
00:10:44,106 --> 00:10:45,948
Look, he's an adult, all right?
202
00:10:45,988 --> 00:10:47,709
You can tell him if you're dating someone.
203
00:10:47,749 --> 00:10:48,950
It's silly not to.
204
00:10:52,954 --> 00:10:53,794
What's going on?
205
00:10:56,436 --> 00:10:57,317
Okay, Michael, come here.
206
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,119
Your mother has something that she wants to tell you.
207
00:10:59,719 --> 00:11:00,680
Have a seat.
208
00:11:06,004 --> 00:11:08,446
Okay, you know that I'm a woman, and that I have needs.
209
00:11:08,526 --> 00:11:10,368
Oh, I don't like the direction of this at all.
210
00:11:11,889 --> 00:11:13,330
I've been dating somebody.
211
00:11:13,490 --> 00:11:15,452
It's been going on a couple of months now.
212
00:11:16,012 --> 00:11:18,254
Look, I know how sensitive you are. Are you okay?
213
00:11:19,295 --> 00:11:19,855
I'm fine.
214
00:11:20,015 --> 00:11:23,378
Um... I just... I need some time to process this.
215
00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:25,540
Can you... can you just give me a minute?
216
00:11:25,780 --> 00:11:26,701
Of course.
217
00:11:34,747 --> 00:11:36,789
Yes! Yes! Yes!
218
00:11:36,909 --> 00:11:38,070
All right!
219
00:11:39,351 --> 00:11:40,632
What am I excited about?
220
00:11:41,433 --> 00:11:43,675
Don't you get it? She's finally met someone.
221
00:11:43,795 --> 00:11:46,517
Therefore, I'm no longer the only thing in her life.
222
00:11:46,637 --> 00:11:47,558
Wow! That is good.
223
00:11:47,638 --> 00:11:48,558
It's great!
224
00:11:48,759 --> 00:11:50,520
She could fall in love. They could get married.
225
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:52,802
What if he's one of those guys who wants to be with her every minute,
226
00:11:52,922 --> 00:11:54,924
and is jealous of her son, and he...
227
00:11:55,044 --> 00:11:56,885
and he turns her against me?
228
00:11:57,646 --> 00:11:58,807
Think of it!
229
00:11:59,527 --> 00:12:00,648
Yeah, yeah.
230
00:12:00,728 --> 00:12:01,809
We could be free.
231
00:12:01,849 --> 00:12:02,850
We could do whatever we want.
232
00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:04,411
We could... we could walk around here naked!
233
00:12:04,451 --> 00:12:06,493
We can! But let's not!
234
00:12:08,054 --> 00:12:10,376
Sorry, buddy. My parts are begging to breathe.
235
00:12:12,258 --> 00:12:14,099
We need to encourage my mom.
236
00:12:14,139 --> 00:12:15,460
I need to give her my blessing.
237
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:16,461
Maybe we can have him over here.
238
00:12:16,501 --> 00:12:17,742
- Yeah, yeah.
- This is incredible.
239
00:12:17,782 --> 00:12:19,664
It's the greatest day of my life. Come here!
240
00:12:21,385 --> 00:12:24,067
Could you just... just give us a minute?
241
00:12:32,914 --> 00:12:34,035
Hey, Joey.
242
00:12:34,115 --> 00:12:35,717
Listen, I'm next,
243
00:12:36,077 --> 00:12:38,279
but a little heads up on this casting director.
244
00:12:38,599 --> 00:12:42,042
She just had a boob job, and if you don't comment on them right away,
245
00:12:42,202 --> 00:12:43,603
she'll get very upset.
246
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:46,645
Not this time, Brian Michael David Scott.
247
00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:47,446
Hey, you got it right.
248
00:12:47,486 --> 00:12:49,888
Yeah. I wrote it on my hand so I wouldn't forget.
249
00:12:51,209 --> 00:12:52,730
Why didn't you just write it on a piece of paper?
250
00:12:52,930 --> 00:12:54,932
Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
251
00:12:55,693 --> 00:12:57,894
Look, I know you been screwing me out of all these jobs,
252
00:12:57,975 --> 00:12:59,296
and I want to know why right now.
253
00:12:59,376 --> 00:13:00,977
Okay, okay. You want to know why?
254
00:13:01,898 --> 00:13:03,419
It's because I'm intimidated by you.
255
00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:05,180
Oh, sure you are.
256
00:13:05,621 --> 00:13:07,102
No, really.
257
00:13:07,222 --> 00:13:09,224
When I saw you at that first audition, I was, like,
258
00:13:09,344 --> 00:13:11,546
"I should just go home. This guy's amazing."
259
00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:13,867
Yeah. Well, the director from yesterday doesn't think so.
260
00:13:13,987 --> 00:13:15,949
I barked at him and licked his face.
261
00:13:16,870 --> 00:13:18,831
- I never told you to lick him.
- I was in the moment!
262
00:13:20,873 --> 00:13:22,795
Look, I'm sorry I tricked you,
263
00:13:22,835 --> 00:13:24,276
but what am I supposed to do?
264
00:13:24,916 --> 00:13:27,238
I'm just a hack who's lucky to get a job.
265
00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:29,080
You're Joey Tribbiani.
266
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,721
You're a real actor.
267
00:13:34,844 --> 00:13:41,490
Hey, look, man, there are no real actors. Only small children.
268
00:13:43,852 --> 00:13:45,333
I can't believe I treated you this way.
269
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:46,814
I want to make it up to you.
270
00:13:46,934 --> 00:13:49,816
I'm next. They told me, "Go in whenever you're ready."
271
00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:51,138
You take my place.
272
00:13:51,218 --> 00:13:52,899
I'm not even going to audition.
273
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:54,861
- Really?
- Yeah.
274
00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:57,503
I've been a jerk. For me, please.
275
00:14:06,390 --> 00:14:07,831
Knock 'em dead.
276
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:19,961
Damn you!
277
00:14:20,641 --> 00:14:21,682
Pick up milk!
278
00:14:23,243 --> 00:14:24,805
Brian Michael David Scott!!
279
00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:30,089
Okay, you guys.
280
00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:32,171
Roger is going to be here any minute to pick me up.
281
00:14:33,131 --> 00:14:35,093
Honey, you sure you're okay meeting Roger?
282
00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:37,655
Well, I can't say it's going to be easy
283
00:14:37,735 --> 00:14:39,977
meeting the guy who's going to take my mother away,
284
00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:41,899
but I'll try to keep an open mind.
285
00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:45,942
God, what a knock! I approve. Go to him.
286
00:14:51,947 --> 00:14:53,428
- Hey, Gina.
- Hey.
287
00:14:54,389 --> 00:14:55,710
Roger, you know Joey.
288
00:14:55,950 --> 00:14:57,391
Know him? We were in bed together.
289
00:14:57,992 --> 00:14:59,993
Hey, don't kiss and tell, Rog.
290
00:15:00,994 --> 00:15:02,475
And I'd like you to meet my Michael.
291
00:15:02,555 --> 00:15:04,397
Hey! What's shaking, little man?
292
00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:07,920
He is the chosen one.
293
00:15:09,601 --> 00:15:10,682
Why don't you guys sit down,
294
00:15:10,762 --> 00:15:12,243
get to know each other?
295
00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:18,248
Perhaps a cocktail is in order? I trust everyone here likes Jager?
296
00:15:20,209 --> 00:15:22,451
Hey, so, Roger, we're so glad you're with Gina.
297
00:15:22,531 --> 00:15:23,732
We've never seen her happier.
298
00:15:23,852 --> 00:15:26,975
Really? She's always yelling at me, and calling me names.
299
00:15:27,055 --> 00:15:30,858
Oh, no, no, no, no. That's how we Tribbianis show affection.
300
00:15:30,898 --> 00:15:31,779
Nerd.
301
00:15:31,939 --> 00:15:33,660
Washed-up soap actor.
302
00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:37,423
Virgin.
303
00:15:39,625 --> 00:15:40,706
Here we go.
304
00:15:40,946 --> 00:15:42,708
Three Jagers and one NyQuil.
305
00:15:43,308 --> 00:15:44,389
Here you go, Papa.
306
00:15:44,509 --> 00:15:45,950
Did I just call you that?
307
00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:47,592
It felt so natural.
308
00:15:48,672 --> 00:15:50,434
We better get going if we want to make that movie.
309
00:15:50,874 --> 00:15:52,075
I'm just going to go fix my face
310
00:15:52,115 --> 00:15:54,037
so I look presentable for my gentleman friend.
311
00:16:03,124 --> 00:16:05,166
So, Rog, uh... what do you do for a living?
312
00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:08,288
Well, I was working for a big construction company in Newport,
313
00:16:08,609 --> 00:16:10,250
but I lost a toe on the job.
314
00:16:10,410 --> 00:16:12,171
Oh, man, I'm sorry.
315
00:16:12,212 --> 00:16:14,653
Oh, don't be. I made a ton of money off it.
316
00:16:14,934 --> 00:16:16,775
I mean, one minute, I'm standing on this table saw...
317
00:16:16,975 --> 00:16:18,016
drinking beer.
318
00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:22,860
The next minute, I got all these suits shoving checks at me.
319
00:16:23,541 --> 00:16:24,141
Great.
320
00:16:24,221 --> 00:16:26,503
Yeah, but I burnt through that money pretty quick,
321
00:16:26,823 --> 00:16:29,105
so I gotta figure out a way to get some more cash.
322
00:16:29,185 --> 00:16:31,587
- Not another toe?
- No, no, no, no, no.
323
00:16:32,108 --> 00:16:33,469
I'm gonna lose a finger.
324
00:16:35,390 --> 00:16:36,591
Thinking about losing a pinkie.
325
00:16:36,711 --> 00:16:38,393
And there's so many ways you can lose a finger.
326
00:16:38,433 --> 00:16:41,755
You godrills, saws, sanders, punch presses...
327
00:16:41,795 --> 00:16:44,998
Whoops! Better get used to not using that one, huh?
328
00:16:48,201 --> 00:16:49,722
Uh... Well, work's not everything.
329
00:16:49,762 --> 00:16:51,243
I'm sure you have some cool hobbies.
330
00:16:51,723 --> 00:16:53,165
I like a nice pair of jeans.
331
00:16:57,248 --> 00:16:59,690
Jeans? That... that's a hobby?
332
00:16:59,850 --> 00:17:01,651
I'm not a professional or anything.
333
00:17:03,093 --> 00:17:04,614
We should probably get going.
334
00:17:05,495 --> 00:17:07,536
Okay. It was really good to meet you guys.
335
00:17:07,536 --> 00:17:08,537
And a little tip.
336
00:17:08,617 --> 00:17:10,539
You slip in the movie theater bathroom
337
00:17:10,659 --> 00:17:11,980
and hit your head on the sink...
338
00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:13,501
free popcorn.
339
00:17:20,747 --> 00:17:21,828
What's the matter with you?
340
00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:23,029
Don't be doing this.
341
00:17:23,349 --> 00:17:25,190
That's Roger after his next job!
342
00:17:26,151 --> 00:17:27,793
Okay, so he's different.
343
00:17:28,073 --> 00:17:29,674
Joey, the important thing is he likes her,
344
00:17:29,714 --> 00:17:31,235
and he's taking her off my hands.
345
00:17:31,275 --> 00:17:33,918
Whoa, whoa, Michael. That's really selfish.
346
00:17:34,198 --> 00:17:37,360
What's more important, your space or your mother's happiness?
347
00:17:38,962 --> 00:17:40,283
My space.
348
00:17:41,043 --> 00:17:42,805
And I had to pretend to think about it.
349
00:17:50,051 --> 00:17:51,212
How was your movie?
350
00:17:51,332 --> 00:17:52,453
We were late.
351
00:17:52,493 --> 00:17:54,975
We drove by a Levi's store, and Roger got sidetracked.
352
00:17:58,097 --> 00:17:58,978
Okay, we have to talk.
353
00:17:59,018 --> 00:18:01,740
Michael, you got anything you want to say to your mother about Roger?
354
00:18:02,260 --> 00:18:03,622
I think he's a keeper.
355
00:18:05,423 --> 00:18:07,945
No, he's not. Gina, this guy's a joke.
356
00:18:08,265 --> 00:18:11,068
Look, I know Roger's not the brightest or the funniest
357
00:18:11,348 --> 00:18:12,669
or the most ambitious...
358
00:18:12,789 --> 00:18:13,630
But...?
359
00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:15,791
Well, it's not like I have a lot of choices.
360
00:18:16,072 --> 00:18:18,874
Most guys my age are looking to date 20-year-olds,
361
00:18:19,034 --> 00:18:21,356
not go out with someone with a 20-year-old.
362
00:18:22,517 --> 00:18:24,879
He's the best I can do. I'm not a great catch.
363
00:18:24,999 --> 00:18:26,360
What are you talking about?
364
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:27,881
You could always have anyone you wanted.
365
00:18:28,001 --> 00:18:29,402
That was a long time ago, Joey.
366
00:18:29,683 --> 00:18:31,244
Now I take what I can get.
367
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,966
Take what you can get?
368
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:38,690
Mom, no. That's... that's not okay. You're...
369
00:18:42,573 --> 00:18:44,014
You deserve a lot better.
370
00:18:44,855 --> 00:18:46,296
I thought you liked him.
371
00:18:46,656 --> 00:18:47,497
I did...
372
00:18:47,977 --> 00:18:50,379
but that's when I was lying.
373
00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:52,981
I just thought that
374
00:18:53,142 --> 00:18:55,183
it would be good for you to have someone in your life
375
00:18:55,223 --> 00:18:56,905
so you wouldn't have to worry about me so much.
376
00:18:57,345 --> 00:18:59,947
You know? I mean, am a grown man.
377
00:19:00,427 --> 00:19:02,309
You're gonna fill out some, right?
378
00:19:05,071 --> 00:19:06,152
And you are a catch.
379
00:19:06,833 --> 00:19:07,954
Are you kidding me?
380
00:19:07,994 --> 00:19:10,556
You're smart and you're funny and you're beautiful.
381
00:19:10,996 --> 00:19:13,118
All my friends have crushes on you, Mom.
382
00:19:13,158 --> 00:19:15,800
Yeah, well, I'm like, the third girl those guys have seen.
383
00:19:18,562 --> 00:19:21,605
Look, you just gotta hold out until you find someone great, okay?
384
00:19:22,005 --> 00:19:23,086
And, when you do,
385
00:19:23,966 --> 00:19:26,809
even that guy's not going to be good enough, as far as I'm concerned.
386
00:19:27,529 --> 00:19:28,650
Oh, Joey.
387
00:19:30,051 --> 00:19:32,133
And, you know, I wa't going to tell you this before,but
388
00:19:33,814 --> 00:19:34,735
my fever is back.
389
00:19:34,815 --> 00:19:36,697
You're so good to me.
390
00:19:39,539 --> 00:19:41,741
An all new WIll & Grace is coming up next.
391
00:19:41,821 --> 00:19:43,782
Right here on NBC.
392
00:19:47,826 --> 00:19:48,867
Okay, look,
393
00:19:48,947 --> 00:19:51,829
I know you're probably still mad about that staiwell thing
394
00:19:51,869 --> 00:19:53,470
but I saved your life.
395
00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:54,911
Right after you got locked in there,
396
00:19:54,992 --> 00:19:59,075
- three masked gunmen bursted into...
- No more crap up my pooper!
397
00:20:00,676 --> 00:20:03,759
You're about to be very sorry you ever messed with Joey Tribbiani.
398
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:05,920
You got a phone call from your agent this morning?
399
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:07,882
Hello, Bri-Mi, it's Liza,
400
00:20:08,002 --> 00:20:10,484
the location of your audition's been changed.
401
00:20:10,564 --> 00:20:11,205
What?
402
00:20:11,285 --> 00:20:12,766
The Location wasn't changed.
403
00:20:12,886 --> 00:20:14,447
That audition is going on right now
404
00:20:14,487 --> 00:20:16,969
on the other side of the town, my brother!
405
00:20:18,611 --> 00:20:20,212
I was perfect for that part!
406
00:20:20,372 --> 00:20:21,253
Too bad!
407
00:20:21,413 --> 00:20:23,615
So you better think long and hard before you mess with me again
408
00:20:23,695 --> 00:20:25,216
because from now on I'm fighting back!
409
00:20:25,296 --> 00:20:26,217
Are we clear?
410
00:20:26,257 --> 00:20:27,138
Yeah.
411
00:20:27,538 --> 00:20:29,379
Except for one thing:
412
00:20:29,539 --> 00:20:30,861
if I'm missing that audition...
413
00:20:30,941 --> 00:20:31,661
Oh yeah!
414
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:34,624
Aren't you missing it too?
415
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:41,909
Come on! I'll give you a ride.
416
00:20:42,305 --> 00:20:48,347
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