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1
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Where am I taking you?
2
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Oh yeah, I gotta get some place.
3
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It's my sister's place.
4
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She was supposed to take me up but she's... kind of all there, you know.
5
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The address?
6
00:00:27,343 --> 00:00:28,503
Right, right, right.
7
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So you're here visiting family?
8
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Well, no, I'm an actor.
9
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I've been in New York
10
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but I got an offer to work in L.A. and
11
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I think it's time for me to take my shot.
12
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Kind of scary, I mean...
13
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I left my whole life behind but I think it's a smart move, you know,
14
00:00:40,993 --> 00:00:43,675
if you wanna make it as an actor, you gotta move to L.A., to Hollywood !
15
00:00:44,916 --> 00:00:46,237
So what are you doing here in Dallas ?
16
00:00:51,922 --> 00:00:53,843
I did have a lay over in Dallas !
17
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Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become
a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM
18
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Oh thank God !
19
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Oh my God, Joey !
20
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Hey Gina !
21
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My brother, the star.
22
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Days Of Our Lives !
23
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- Not any more !
- Formerly !
24
00:01:48,086 --> 00:01:51,529
- Good to see you.
- I know, I missed you so much.
25
00:01:52,850 --> 00:01:54,411
Wait a second, wait a second !
26
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You look different !
27
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I forgot ! You haven't seen 'em.
28
00:02:00,536 --> 00:02:02,177
What do you think ? They're new !
29
00:02:02,257 --> 00:02:05,419
I went up 3 cup sizes. The doctor was reluctant !
30
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Come on, touch 'em.
31
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Let's get my bag. I'll feel you up in the car, I promise.
32
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Tell me about the big new job.
33
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It all started when I got this new agent.
34
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This lady is a shark.
35
00:02:19,270 --> 00:02:22,153
And that means she's a good agent, not an actual shark.
36
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I know that.
37
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Yeah, I did too.
38
00:02:27,517 --> 00:02:29,999
Anyway, she got me offers from 2 new shows.
39
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Wow ! What are they ?
40
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:34,322
Well, the first one is about a bunch of male nurses
41
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and I wasn't really crazy about that one.
42
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I mean I've already been a brain surgeon.
43
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I don't think my fans would buy me as a nurse.
44
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They bought you as a brain surgeon, they're pretty understanding.
45
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Doesn't matter, okay ? Because the other show...
46
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it's about a cop and I'm the star.
47
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Also, it's for cable
48
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so there's a combination of nudity and swearing that I find intriguing.
49
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I am so proud of you !
50
00:03:00,743 --> 00:03:01,664
So, how many bags we're looking for ?
51
00:03:01,864 --> 00:03:04,386
Just one, the rest of my stuff is on a moving truck
52
00:03:04,386 --> 00:03:06,948
and I gave them your number, the company's called "Movers and Shakers".
53
00:03:07,068 --> 00:03:08,869
They cost a little more but...
54
00:03:09,630 --> 00:03:10,991
that name cracks me up.
55
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Oh wait, that was my bag.
56
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,554
It's okay, hold on.
57
00:03:15,034 --> 00:03:17,596
Sir, could you grab that bag ?
58
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Thank you !
59
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,321
They do get things done.
60
00:03:37,011 --> 00:03:37,972
Wow !
61
00:03:38,653 --> 00:03:40,094
I think I like L.A. !
62
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:43,256
I thought you and Chandler should have moved out a long time ago.
63
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It's a very vibrant gay scene.
64
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Chandler and I are not a gay couple !
65
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Hi !
66
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Hey ! This is it !
67
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Your new home !
68
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Oh my God !
69
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:02,912
- Yeah ?
- Yeah !
70
00:04:03,032 --> 00:04:06,474
Gina, thank you for finding this. I love it !
71
00:04:06,474 --> 00:04:07,916
Good because if you didn't I was gonna lie and tell you..
72
00:04:07,916 --> 00:04:09,557
.. Tom Cruise used to live here.
73
00:04:09,637 --> 00:04:12,039
Tom Cruise lived here ?
74
00:04:14,441 --> 00:04:15,962
Sure he did, honey !
75
00:04:15,962 --> 00:04:17,803
Let me show you the best part !
76
00:04:20,405 --> 00:04:22,007
Check this out !
77
00:04:22,687 --> 00:04:24,409
Sit up here and lean back.
78
00:04:27,411 --> 00:04:28,372
Look over there.
79
00:04:30,093 --> 00:04:31,614
Is that the middle of the Hollywood sign ?
80
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That is the Hollywood sign.
81
00:04:37,659 --> 00:04:40,061
I can see the Hollywood sign !
82
00:04:41,502 --> 00:04:43,223
And into that woman's bathroom !
83
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And now she sees me looking ! Hi there !
84
00:04:54,952 --> 00:04:55,793
What's the matter ?
85
00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:57,434
I just...
86
00:04:58,315 --> 00:05:00,197
I can't believe I'm here, you know.
87
00:05:00,237 --> 00:05:02,238
It doesn't... It doesn't feel real.
88
00:05:05,961 --> 00:05:07,722
And neither do those.
89
00:05:11,846 --> 00:05:13,767
Gina Tribbiani, hairdresser to the stars.
90
00:05:14,128 --> 00:05:14,808
Stars ?
91
00:05:15,088 --> 00:05:17,410
It sounds better than hairdresser to mostly Dominicans firms.
92
00:05:19,011 --> 00:05:19,812
Yeah, honey.
93
00:05:20,092 --> 00:05:20,853
Come on up.
94
00:05:22,374 --> 00:05:23,935
It's my Michael. He's parking.
95
00:05:24,776 --> 00:05:26,898
Say, what is Michael now ? 20 ?
96
00:05:27,098 --> 00:05:29,780
Yeah, don't I look incredible for the mother of an adult son ?
97
00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:32,102
It's the good thing about having a kid so young.
98
00:05:32,462 --> 00:05:34,383
You rarely hear the argument for a teen pregnancy.
99
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Michael is so excited to see you again.
100
00:05:44,191 --> 00:05:46,673
Oh and by the way, told him I had him when I was 22.
101
00:05:47,233 --> 00:05:48,675
I don't want him to think his mother is a tramp.
102
00:05:54,439 --> 00:05:55,400
Uncle Joey !
103
00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,802
Hey ! Wow ! Man !
104
00:06:00,004 --> 00:06:02,325
I still think of you as a little kid !
105
00:06:02,886 --> 00:06:05,007
So much for these wings I picked up on the airplane.
106
00:06:05,288 --> 00:06:06,649
Oh no ! I'll still take them.
107
00:06:07,970 --> 00:06:09,331
I was just gonna show them to you...
108
00:06:13,934 --> 00:06:15,736
Tell your uncle Joey what you've been up to lately !
109
00:06:16,336 --> 00:06:18,538
Well, now that college's done.
110
00:06:18,618 --> 00:06:21,901
I'm just doing some grad work over Caltech center ..
111
00:06:21,901 --> 00:06:25,143
.. for simulation of dynamic response materials.
112
00:06:25,463 --> 00:06:26,905
Can you believe he came out of me ?
113
00:06:29,106 --> 00:06:31,869
Actually, right now, we're designing a mock-up for an escape module
114
00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:33,790
for the international space station.
115
00:06:33,790 --> 00:06:35,832
What are you a rocket scientist ?
116
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Yes.
117
00:06:39,074 --> 00:06:40,035
Oh.
118
00:06:40,916 --> 00:06:42,437
So how do you like living at school ?
119
00:06:42,717 --> 00:06:43,798
Oh no, I still live with mom.
120
00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:45,199
Oh man !
121
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,281
That is nice !
122
00:06:49,923 --> 00:06:51,644
Shut up ! We have fun. Tell him we have fun !
123
00:06:52,044 --> 00:06:53,485
We do have fun.
124
00:06:53,485 --> 00:06:55,007
We have a lot in common than most moms and sons
125
00:06:55,007 --> 00:06:57,328
'cause she had me when she was just 22, so ?
126
00:06:57,409 --> 00:06:59,050
Yeah, 22, yeah.
127
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That's why we had to change churches.
128
00:07:05,935 --> 00:07:07,376
Michael, where's the lasagna ?
129
00:07:07,977 --> 00:07:09,498
I left it in the car.
130
00:07:09,898 --> 00:07:10,859
I'll get it. I'll get it.
131
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:14,702
Look at that ! So much going on up here he can't remember lasagna.
132
00:07:14,782 --> 00:07:16,423
We are different you and me !
133
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:21,507
So, come on ! What else is going on ?
134
00:07:21,588 --> 00:07:23,709
Well, actually, I'm thinking about moving out.
135
00:07:23,789 --> 00:07:25,350
- Oh yeah, where ?
- Here with you.
136
00:07:28,033 --> 00:07:28,793
What ?
137
00:07:28,873 --> 00:07:31,675
I'm 20 years old, man. I shouldn't be living with my mom.
138
00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:33,317
Everyone at school makes fun of me.
139
00:07:33,597 --> 00:07:35,799
And it's not like these are the cool kids, they're not quarterbacks...
140
00:07:35,879 --> 00:07:36,839
engineers !
141
00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:41,763
But what do you wanna live with me ?
142
00:07:41,843 --> 00:07:44,806
Well, huh, this may not be a big selling point but
143
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I have no money for rent.
144
00:07:48,088 --> 00:07:50,370
And I mean, and also you're my cool uncle Joey, you know.
145
00:07:50,490 --> 00:07:52,412
Living with you, that would just... you know.
146
00:07:52,492 --> 00:07:54,133
Yeah... Break your mother's heart.
147
00:07:55,374 --> 00:07:56,615
I know... I know.
148
00:07:58,056 --> 00:08:00,098
But it's... I mean... It's gonna happen some time.
149
00:08:00,178 --> 00:08:02,379
I just have to get out of there. Have you seen her breast ?
150
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:04,301
She made me touch 'em !
151
00:08:12,547 --> 00:08:13,628
Hi !
152
00:08:16,751 --> 00:08:18,592
Actually not that big of a drop !
153
00:08:20,354 --> 00:08:22,155
Not your first impression, huh?
154
00:08:22,195 --> 00:08:24,437
Well actually, I got my first impression last night
155
00:08:24,477 --> 00:08:27,159
I saw you are practising your ... judo?
156
00:08:27,239 --> 00:08:30,842
Ah, that wasn't judo. I had a bee on me.
157
00:08:35,806 --> 00:08:38,047
I'm Alex. I live next door.
158
00:08:38,448 --> 00:08:40,329
Really ? I'm Joey.
159
00:08:41,450 --> 00:08:43,091
So, you just moved out here?
160
00:08:43,171 --> 00:08:44,052
Yeah, yeah. I'm from New York.
161
00:08:44,332 --> 00:08:46,294
I'm an actor.
162
00:08:46,334 --> 00:08:49,136
Oh that's so cute. You think it's a big deal to be an actor;
163
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,738
Everyone here is an actor.
164
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:52,859
What ?
165
00:08:53,019 --> 00:08:54,380
That guy in that apartment...
166
00:08:54,460 --> 00:08:55,181
actor !
167
00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:55,901
Actor !
168
00:08:56,022 --> 00:08:56,822
Actor !
169
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Porn actor !
170
00:08:58,784 --> 00:08:59,825
Really ?
171
00:08:59,905 --> 00:09:01,426
Yeah. He lives above me.
172
00:09:01,746 --> 00:09:02,747
He's not the best.
173
00:09:04,548 --> 00:09:07,150
So everyone else here is an actor, are you an actor too?
174
00:09:07,310 --> 00:09:10,713
Oh no, actually I am a corporate lawyer.
175
00:09:11,714 --> 00:09:12,635
Wow! What is that?
176
00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:17,799
I represent greedy businesses. I make the world just a little bit worse.
177
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,442
Were you on Days Of Our Lives?
178
00:09:22,122 --> 00:09:24,564
Ah, took you a minute but you recognized me, huh?
179
00:09:27,086 --> 00:09:28,887
I��m wearing my Days Of Our Lives shirt, aren't I?
180
00:09:30,048 --> 00:09:32,330
Yeah, I did the soap thing, but I'm out her to move beyond that.
181
00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:34,932
I'm actually a very serious actor, you know.
182
00:09:35,012 --> 00:09:39,936
Romeo! Oh Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?
183
00:09:41,697 --> 00:09:43,299
That was Romeo.
184
00:09:44,420 --> 00:09:46,541
Actually that was Juliet.
185
00:09:47,662 --> 00:09:48,383
What ?
186
00:09:48,503 --> 00:09:52,586
Romeo wouldn't have started a speech with "Romeo ! Romeo !"
187
00:09:54,347 --> 00:09:57,069
I've done that for like a million auditions !
188
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:03,314
Blue walls. Scene C. Take 2.
189
00:10:04,475 --> 00:10:06,277
And... action !
190
00:10:14,923 --> 00:10:16,365
And... cut !
191
00:10:21,569 --> 00:10:23,650
I can't believe I'm on a set !
192
00:10:23,971 --> 00:10:26,372
I think like I could be networking. Let me go talk to the director.
193
00:10:26,853 --> 00:10:29,615
Must be pretty cool seeing your uncle starting his own show, huh ?
194
00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:32,297
Not as cool as it would be seeing my roommate starting his own show.
195
00:10:32,777 --> 00:10:34,899
Michael, about us living... Come on !
196
00:10:37,501 --> 00:10:39,223
I don't think it's a good idea.
197
00:10:40,383 --> 00:10:41,424
Why not ?
198
00:10:41,825 --> 00:10:44,106
I don't wanna get between you and your mom, alright ?
199
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:45,547
I can't have her mad at me.
200
00:10:45,547 --> 00:10:46,989
When we were kids, she used to torture me.
201
00:10:46,989 --> 00:10:48,150
She hit me all the time.
202
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:51,792
She used to hold me down and force me to say "I am gay for David Cassidy".
203
00:10:53,514 --> 00:10:54,474
Who's that ?
204
00:10:54,675 --> 00:10:57,837
David Cassidy from The Partridge Family. Really good looking...
205
00:10:57,917 --> 00:10:58,998
The point is...
206
00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:01,960
I don't want her mad at me, okay ? I'm sorry.
207
00:11:04,843 --> 00:11:06,844
It's okay? I understand.
208
00:11:06,964 --> 00:11:08,005
All right. Good.
209
00:11:08,886 --> 00:11:10,007
You are not gonna believe this !
210
00:11:10,327 --> 00:11:11,848
The director thought I was an actress !
211
00:11:12,128 --> 00:11:14,810
Sure, that's because you got big fake boobs and you're crazy !
212
00:11:23,177 --> 00:11:24,218
I love it out here !
213
00:11:24,538 --> 00:11:26,540
Sunny and 72 degrees everyday !
214
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,061
Wonder what it's like in New York.
215
00:11:28,541 --> 00:11:29,302
71.
216
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:30,383
Poor bastards !
217
00:11:33,425 --> 00:11:35,667
- Joey ! Hey !
- Hey Allison !
218
00:11:35,747 --> 00:11:37,388
Allison, this is my sister Gina.
219
00:11:37,468 --> 00:11:38,549
Allison lives here next door.
220
00:11:38,629 --> 00:11:39,390
- Hi !
- Hey !
221
00:11:39,670 --> 00:11:40,951
You have very beautiful hair.
222
00:11:41,111 --> 00:11:42,072
Thank you very much.
223
00:11:42,272 --> 00:11:44,594
If you ever wanna sell it, give me a call.
224
00:11:46,675 --> 00:11:47,356
Thanks.
225
00:11:50,038 --> 00:11:52,080
I liked that girl, okay ?
226
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,001
Don't be trying to buy her hair !
227
00:11:54,842 --> 00:11:56,964
She could be the future Mrs. Joey Tribbiani.
228
00:11:57,324 --> 00:11:58,685
Or at the very least the future...
229
00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:00,326
awkward situation.
230
00:12:03,969 --> 00:12:05,290
It's my agent, the shark.
231
00:12:06,451 --> 00:12:07,212
Hello !
232
00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:09,133
Hi Bobby !
233
00:12:10,094 --> 00:12:11,455
Right ! And ?
234
00:12:14,337 --> 00:12:15,178
What ?
235
00:12:16,459 --> 00:12:17,219
Why ?
236
00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:21,623
Yeah. Okay. Bye.
237
00:12:23,064 --> 00:12:24,305
My show was dead.
238
00:12:24,585 --> 00:12:25,666
It's not even gonna air.
239
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:28,148
Oh my god ! Did they say why ?
240
00:12:29,189 --> 00:12:31,431
People thought it was disgusting !
241
00:12:32,672 --> 00:12:35,434
Geez ! you defecate on one corpse !
242
00:12:38,596 --> 00:12:40,237
Oh honey. I am so sorry.
243
00:12:40,518 --> 00:12:42,079
I can't believe this.
244
00:12:42,279 --> 00:12:44,080
How can I go from having two shows to...
245
00:12:44,841 --> 00:12:45,802
having nothing !
246
00:12:47,923 --> 00:12:49,645
You think you should have done the other show ?
247
00:12:50,045 --> 00:12:51,206
The nurses thing ?
248
00:12:51,286 --> 00:12:52,047
Oh no way !
249
00:12:52,167 --> 00:12:53,488
I mean my thing didn't go but
250
00:12:53,688 --> 00:12:56,570
believe me no one is gonna watch a show about nurses.
251
00:12:57,611 --> 00:13:01,734
I'm here with Sam Baxter, one of the nurses on the new hit show RN.
252
00:13:01,734 --> 00:13:04,617
and, Sam, I'm told that you weren't the first choice for this role.
253
00:13:04,897 --> 00:13:07,899
Well, that's right actually. The producers originally the role to someone else.
254
00:13:08,179 --> 00:13:10,581
An actor by the name of Joey Tribani.
255
00:13:12,102 --> 00:13:15,945
Well, wherever he is, I bet you Joey Tribani...
256
00:13:16,146 --> 00:13:19,108
- is kicking himself.
- Tribbiani !
257
00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:22,951
Joey Tribbiani is kicking himself.
258
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:35,641
Hey ! What are you doing here ?
259
00:13:35,641 --> 00:13:37,843
I don't know, mom told me you'd be clearing out your dressing room today.
260
00:13:37,923 --> 00:13:40,044
So I figured I'd come by and cheer you up.
261
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:41,766
What are you cooking ?
262
00:13:41,966 --> 00:13:43,687
Spaghetti and meatballs. It's grandma's recipe.
263
00:13:43,967 --> 00:13:45,689
It always makes me feel better.
264
00:13:46,009 --> 00:13:47,450
Mom made it for me this one time...
265
00:13:47,610 --> 00:13:48,691
this one time I got a B.
266
00:13:48,771 --> 00:13:50,212
I got a B once...
267
00:13:50,893 --> 00:13:52,054
cheated my ass off.
268
00:13:55,977 --> 00:13:57,498
So was today hard ?
269
00:13:57,898 --> 00:14:00,100
Yeah, I can't believe it.
270
00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:02,102
A week ago, I was a star of a show
271
00:14:02,102 --> 00:14:05,384
and now I'm the guy who turned down "nurses".
272
00:14:05,865 --> 00:14:09,507
Which is strange because in real life, I would never turn down a nurse.
273
00:14:11,629 --> 00:14:12,470
So what do you do now ?
274
00:14:12,790 --> 00:14:16,593
I'm meeting with my agent later to try to figure out some kind of game plan.
275
00:14:18,234 --> 00:14:20,436
Hey ! they're making a new Indiana Jones movie. Maybe you can...
276
00:14:20,436 --> 00:14:22,838
Maybe you can...
277
00:14:23,118 --> 00:14:24,199
turn that down.
278
00:14:28,883 --> 00:14:31,485
Feeling more comfortable around your uncle Joey ?
279
00:14:34,927 --> 00:14:37,610
This is really nice. Thanks for doing this.
280
00:14:37,930 --> 00:14:41,292
You know, if you let me be you're roommate, you could have this like everyday.
281
00:14:43,094 --> 00:14:47,137
Michael, look. You're a great kid and I would love to have you as my roommate
282
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,778
but your mother will flip out.
283
00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:49,819
I mean...
284
00:14:54,022 --> 00:14:55,303
You're in !
285
00:14:58,066 --> 00:14:59,507
No ! No ! No ! No !
286
00:15:06,632 --> 00:15:09,194
Oh hey Joey ! Have a sit, doll !
287
00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:11,116
Thanks for seeing me. Listen...
288
00:15:11,796 --> 00:15:14,198
I know we blew it by turning down that nurses thing
289
00:15:14,198 --> 00:15:17,361
but I gotta believe there is something bigger or me right around the corner.
290
00:15:17,841 --> 00:15:21,684
Listen... You are living in a dream world.
291
00:15:23,526 --> 00:15:24,286
Excuse me ?
292
00:15:24,366 --> 00:15:26,208
That nurses show is huge !
293
00:15:26,568 --> 00:15:29,570
Everyone involved in it is gonna become insanely rich
294
00:15:29,570 --> 00:15:31,852
and is gonna haunt you for the rest of your life.
295
00:15:33,213 --> 00:15:35,495
But my job is to keep up your moral.
296
00:15:37,416 --> 00:15:38,577
I do feel better.
297
00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:40,699
Look...
298
00:15:41,179 --> 00:15:42,701
I'm a straight shooter
299
00:15:43,101 --> 00:15:44,822
but I'll tell you something else about me:
300
00:15:45,102 --> 00:15:47,304
I am the best !
301
00:15:48,385 --> 00:15:50,747
There is nothing that I wouldn't do for you.
302
00:15:51,227 --> 00:15:52,108
I would...
303
00:15:52,668 --> 00:15:55,270
throw on a meat skirt and wrestle a lion !
304
00:15:56,231 --> 00:15:59,594
I would pull off my own ears and eat them !
305
00:16:01,435 --> 00:16:04,197
That's... gross !
306
00:16:05,078 --> 00:16:07,640
I'm gonna get you through this.
307
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:13,605
Next year, I am gonna find you a show that'll blow this nurses thing right out of the...
308
00:16:14,846 --> 00:16:16,687
What the hell am I saying ?
309
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,489
Nothing's gonna top that !
310
00:16:21,851 --> 00:16:24,533
Hold on. Next year ? No, no, no !
311
00:16:24,653 --> 00:16:26,175
I need to get something now !
312
00:16:26,575 --> 00:16:29,257
Well, I've got nothing !
313
00:16:29,457 --> 00:16:32,340
Zilch ! Zero ! Nada !
314
00:16:33,781 --> 00:16:35,022
There's gotta be something !
315
00:16:35,222 --> 00:16:38,945
Well, they do need a host for this new entertainment show.
316
00:16:39,145 --> 00:16:40,866
It's not really acting
317
00:16:41,347 --> 00:16:44,629
but it may work since you have such a tremendous head !
318
00:16:48,913 --> 00:16:49,873
I do ?
319
00:16:49,993 --> 00:16:52,195
Oh come on ! We don't have time for this !
320
00:16:53,916 --> 00:16:55,278
Thanks Bobby ! Thank you !
321
00:16:57,199 --> 00:17:00,081
Looks like you got a big barrel on your shoulders !
322
00:17:09,008 --> 00:17:10,529
Gina! Where have you been ?
323
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,251
My audition is in half an hour !
324
00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:14,733
Sorry, I'll give you a little trim. It'll take two minutes.
325
00:17:15,694 --> 00:17:17,895
Any sign of my stuff ? Have the movers called ?
326
00:17:18,015 --> 00:17:18,576
No.
327
00:17:18,976 --> 00:17:20,898
Stupid Movers and Shakers !
328
00:17:22,899 --> 00:17:25,101
I can't be mad at those guys !
329
00:17:27,983 --> 00:17:30,585
Hey do me a favor. See if you can make my head look a little bit smaller.
330
00:17:34,508 --> 00:17:36,910
I can't do this. I'm too upset.
331
00:17:37,391 --> 00:17:38,151
What's the matter ?
332
00:17:40,473 --> 00:17:41,914
Michael said he was moving out.
333
00:17:42,675 --> 00:17:44,997
Did he say who he was moving in with ?
334
00:17:45,157 --> 00:17:46,798
- No, why ?
- Uh... no reason...
335
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,041
But you know if you think about it, Gina, this could be a good thing.
336
00:17:51,121 --> 00:17:54,004
You could have more time for your hairdressing.
337
00:17:54,684 --> 00:17:55,645
Oh please !
338
00:17:55,925 --> 00:17:57,566
No much of a hairdresser anyway !
339
00:17:57,726 --> 00:18:00,248
I only started cutting hair because Channel 5 exposed me
340
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:02,650
as this Southland most dangerous dental technician.
341
00:18:05,533 --> 00:18:07,935
That was some damning footage.
342
00:18:11,457 --> 00:18:13,379
I just don't know what I'm gonna do without him.
343
00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:15,020
He's my baby !
344
00:18:16,541 --> 00:18:18,463
- Hey come on !
- No, really.
345
00:18:18,863 --> 00:18:20,504
I don't have much to be proud of.
346
00:18:21,345 --> 00:18:22,586
But him, I did right.
347
00:18:27,310 --> 00:18:28,671
I gotta take this.
348
00:18:29,431 --> 00:18:30,072
What ?
349
00:18:30,392 --> 00:18:30,953
Yeah.
350
00:18:31,353 --> 00:18:32,874
I've got a lead on some blond hair.
351
00:18:37,077 --> 00:18:38,719
And some good straight stuff.
352
00:18:42,682 --> 00:18:44,283
Okay, we got a big problem.
353
00:18:44,403 --> 00:18:46,685
I just told mom I was moving out. She went crazy.
354
00:18:46,685 --> 00:18:48,807
I don't know what she's gonna do when she hears I'm moving with you.
355
00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:50,928
Well, let's find out.
356
00:18:53,490 --> 00:18:55,332
Why didn't you tell me she was here
357
00:18:55,412 --> 00:18:57,053
You couldn't tell I was getting a haircut ?
358
00:18:58,214 --> 00:19:00,416
You think I just walk around my apartment in a cape ?
359
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:04,939
He's gonna live here ?
360
00:19:05,139 --> 00:19:05,780
Are you kidding me ?
361
00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:07,341
Mom, look. This was my idea.
362
00:19:07,341 --> 00:19:08,022
That's true.
363
00:19:08,302 --> 00:19:10,584
Sure, I bet you landed and right away he begged you:
364
00:19:10,704 --> 00:19:12,305
"Please get me away from my mother !"
365
00:19:16,949 --> 00:19:18,950
I cannot believe you would do this to me.
366
00:19:20,391 --> 00:19:21,632
- Gina...
- Mom...
367
00:19:21,712 --> 00:19:23,073
- Gina, wait a...
- Mom !
- Gina...
368
00:19:25,675 --> 00:19:26,516
Oh my god !
369
00:19:26,716 --> 00:19:27,877
I know. I know...
370
00:19:30,759 --> 00:19:33,041
I could eat a really big lobster in this.
371
00:19:41,408 --> 00:19:43,810
Okay, Joey. The audition is very simple.
372
00:19:44,370 --> 00:19:45,251
Three cameras.
373
00:19:45,531 --> 00:19:48,694
Each one has a teleprompter beneath the lens and a red light on top.
374
00:19:48,974 --> 00:19:51,095
Whichever red light is lit, that's the camera you address.
375
00:19:51,175 --> 00:19:52,617
The producer is watching from that monitor.
376
00:19:53,577 --> 00:19:55,419
Geez ! Is that a man or a woman ?
377
00:19:55,819 --> 00:19:56,580
And your mike.
378
00:19:58,381 --> 00:20:00,503
Okay. Let's do this.
379
00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:01,464
We have a roll.
380
00:20:01,664 --> 00:20:04,546
Joey Tribbiani audition in 5.. 4... 3...
381
00:20:05,026 --> 00:20:06,347
Welcome to Hollywood minute.
382
00:20:06,548 --> 00:20:07,508
I'm name.
383
00:20:11,431 --> 00:20:12,512
Can I start again ?
384
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:13,553
Whenever you're ready.
385
00:20:13,633 --> 00:20:14,234
Ok.
386
00:20:16,635 --> 00:20:18,077
Welcome to Hollywood minute.
387
00:20:18,277 --> 00:20:19,398
I'm Joey Tribbiani.
388
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:21,519
and here are today's top stories.
389
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,682
- Well, even though she's on vacation,...
- Cut ! Joey.
390
00:20:24,882 --> 00:20:26,043
You didn't switch cameras.
391
00:20:26,323 --> 00:20:28,165
Oh ! Did the light change ?
392
00:20:28,525 --> 00:20:29,085
Yeah.
393
00:20:29,405 --> 00:20:31,687
Even though you're reading, you need to be aware of when the light changes.
394
00:20:33,409 --> 00:20:34,850
That's really the best way to do this ?
395
00:20:36,611 --> 00:20:39,854
Okay, let's try it again in 5... 4... 3
396
00:20:40,414 --> 00:20:41,695
Welcome to Hollywood minute.
397
00:20:42,055 --> 00:20:43,296
I'm Joey Tribbiani.
398
00:20:43,497 --> 00:20:45,338
and here are today's top stories.
399
00:20:45,498 --> 00:20:50,782
Well, even though she's on vacation, Jennifer Lopez is in the news today.
400
00:20:50,982 --> 00:20:52,824
More on that story later.
401
00:20:53,104 --> 00:20:56,547
But first, let's check out the box office returns for this weekend.
402
00:20:56,827 --> 00:20:58,668
Topping the list for the third week in a row...
403
00:20:58,668 --> 00:21:00,590
Man! That is one fast red light !
404
00:21:00,590 --> 00:21:01,431
Topping the list...
405
00:21:02,031 --> 00:21:02,992
Topping the list...
406
00:21:04,313 --> 00:21:05,594
I know it's not that one.
407
00:21:06,555 --> 00:21:07,595
Where the hell is it ?
408
00:21:08,276 --> 00:21:10,197
Okay, Joey. Thanks for coming.
409
00:21:10,278 --> 00:21:11,919
No, no, no. I'm getting the hang of it.
410
00:21:11,999 --> 00:21:14,521
Please, Mr. or Mrs. producer.
411
00:21:14,681 --> 00:21:16,923
I need this job. I can do this.
412
00:21:17,203 --> 00:21:19,004
- You're looking at the wrong camera.
- Damn it !
413
00:21:20,245 --> 00:21:22,767
Romeo ! Oh Romeo !
414
00:21:33,896 --> 00:21:35,057
- Hey !
- Hey !
415
00:21:35,697 --> 00:21:36,578
What's wrong ?
416
00:21:37,739 --> 00:21:42,463
I... I just blew an audition to host this stupid entertainment show.
417
00:21:42,503 --> 00:21:44,745
- Was that even acting ?
- No !
418
00:21:44,865 --> 00:21:47,707
It's just following a really fast red light.
419
00:21:48,628 --> 00:21:52,030
I'm sorry.
420
00:21:57,435 --> 00:22:01,878
If we are both bumped, would you wanna maybe go and grab a bite to eat ?
421
00:22:01,998 --> 00:22:05,241
Oh I wish i could, but I gotta go to the airport and pick up my husband.
422
00:22:07,162 --> 00:22:08,003
Oh... You're married ?
423
00:22:08,964 --> 00:22:11,085
You didn't know? Didn't you see the ring?
424
00:22:11,165 --> 00:22:15,208
Yeah, I saw a ring but it's not on your left hand.
425
00:22:15,889 --> 00:22:17,330
Yeah, it is.
426
00:22:20,132 --> 00:22:21,133
If you say so.
427
00:22:30,861 --> 00:22:31,902
hey
428
00:22:32,262 --> 00:22:34,263
Did you know that girl next door is married ?
429
00:22:34,464 --> 00:22:37,906
I can't talk to that girl, she... she makes my stutter come back.
430
00:22:41,069 --> 00:22:42,030
Can I talk to you ?
431
00:22:42,310 --> 00:22:44,351
Look, Michael, if we?e gonna be roommates, you should know
432
00:22:44,351 --> 00:22:46,553
there are gonna be times when I'm not gonna wanna talk,
433
00:22:46,633 --> 00:22:48,755
I'm just gonna wanna eat the spaghetti you made for me.
434
00:22:49,996 --> 00:22:55,000
Well, actually, I'm not gonna be your roommate.
435
00:22:56,321 --> 00:22:58,362
What ? Why ?
436
00:22:59,043 --> 00:23:01,245
I don't know... I talked it over with my mom and she is...
437
00:23:01,325 --> 00:23:02,686
Oh Michael ! Don't listen to her !
438
00:23:02,766 --> 00:23:04,287
She's a selfish, crazy...
439
00:23:04,607 --> 00:23:06,409
Okay, we need a signal for when she's here.
440
00:23:08,330 --> 00:23:09,211
Come on, Michael. We're leaving.
441
00:23:09,291 --> 00:23:10,732
Gina, this is nuts.
442
00:23:11,212 --> 00:23:12,734
He's a man, okay ?
443
00:23:12,934 --> 00:23:14,655
He's graduated college.
444
00:23:14,855 --> 00:23:15,616
He shaves.
445
00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:16,977
He sleeps with women.
446
00:23:17,738 --> 00:23:19,099
I... I do shave.
447
00:23:20,420 --> 00:23:22,341
Come on ! You have to let him go !
448
00:23:22,741 --> 00:23:23,702
Oh yeah ?
449
00:23:25,984 --> 00:23:28,506
You can hurt me all you want, he's gonna move out some time.
450
00:23:28,666 --> 00:23:30,027
Not if I can help it.
451
00:23:30,107 --> 00:23:31,869
Look, Gina, I know he's your baby
452
00:23:32,029 --> 00:23:33,470
but it's time to move on.
453
00:23:33,590 --> 00:23:34,831
Change can be good.
454
00:23:35,031 --> 00:23:37,233
- Oh it's easy for you to say !
- No, it's not !
455
00:23:37,713 --> 00:23:38,474
No !
456
00:23:38,954 --> 00:23:39,435
Look...
457
00:23:40,956 --> 00:23:44,318
Nobody understands wanting things to stay the same like I do.
458
00:23:44,438 --> 00:23:45,479
I was happy in New York.
459
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,922
Okay ? And I tried really hard to keep things from changing.
460
00:23:49,042 --> 00:23:52,965
But everyone else got married and had kids... and moved on.
461
00:23:53,045 --> 00:23:54,006
They all changed.
462
00:23:55,647 --> 00:23:58,329
So... I'm giving change a shot.
463
00:23:58,930 --> 00:24:00,651
And it has been hard.
464
00:24:02,373 --> 00:24:06,416
But.. just hoping things stay the same...
465
00:24:07,176 --> 00:24:08,137
it doesn't work.
466
00:24:12,260 --> 00:24:13,902
You're smarter than you used to be.
467
00:24:17,264 --> 00:24:18,785
I don't know where that came from.
468
00:24:26,071 --> 00:24:27,432
You know he's a slob, right ?
469
00:24:27,913 --> 00:24:31,555
You know how you like everything nice and clean and in its own little place.
470
00:24:32,396 --> 00:24:34,438
There's gonna be sauce on everything you own.
471
00:24:35,879 --> 00:24:37,320
I don't know how it happens.
472
00:24:40,362 --> 00:24:42,204
Mom, that's okay.
473
00:24:47,968 --> 00:24:50,250
If this is really what you want...
474
00:24:50,931 --> 00:24:52,572
Thank you, mom. Thank you.
475
00:24:55,254 --> 00:24:56,975
I'm just gonna miss you. That's all.
476
00:24:57,856 --> 00:25:00,458
It's been the two of us for such a long time.
477
00:25:00,618 --> 00:25:02,660
Well, now it's the three of us.
478
00:25:02,940 --> 00:25:04,461
You gave your speech... Enough !
479
00:25:08,304 --> 00:25:09,665
You sure you're gonna be okay ?
480
00:25:09,745 --> 00:25:11,187
Gina, he's gonna be fine !
481
00:25:11,267 --> 00:25:12,548
He's old enough to move out !
482
00:25:12,908 --> 00:25:14,949
You were raising a kid when you were 16 !
483
00:25:21,354 --> 00:25:23,396
How did I not figure that out ?
484
00:25:25,598 --> 00:25:26,078
I mean...
485
00:25:26,158 --> 00:25:28,840
I took calculus when I was 8 !
486
00:25:30,562 --> 00:25:31,362
You're dead.
487
00:25:31,442 --> 00:25:33,364
Gina, back off. I don't wanna hurt you.
488
00:25:33,644 --> 00:25:34,325
Oh yeah ?
489
00:25:37,007 --> 00:25:39,128
I'm gay for David Cassidy !
490
00:25:40,305 --> 00:25:46,300
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