All language subtitles for Toto Il medico dei pazzi 1954

DOCTOR OF THE MAD

Naples, 1911,

the protagonists of our history
live in the guesthouse Stella,

over there, the big door.
Do you want to know them?

Come on, we'll question the maid.

Miss, excuse me?
- Are you talking to me?

Yes, where have you been?

To get coffee.
- And how do you like this guesthouse?

How should I?
It needs at least 10 servants

and instead I'm here alone
and have to fight with the boarders,

who are such types,
as I couldn't say.

These for example are our customers,
three acrobats.

Every day in the gym
preparing for a new number.

This one, by contrast, a poor widow.

She gets up early every morning,

to go to the cemetery to say
goodbye to her poor husband.

And the others,
could you introduce them?

Of course!
Come upstairs.

They're all in the lounge

waiting for the coffee I'm bringing.
Please.

Thank you, with pleasure.

Then Miss, who is this?

This is Mr. Carlo, the
owner of the guesthouse,

Nothing escapes him, he
always has his eyes wide open.

And this?
- Mr. Raffaele, the owner's brother.

Reading the part of Othello
which he must play next Sunday.

Is he an actor?
- No, but he thinks so.

This is the retired colonel
Tizio Scevola,

always yelling, nothing's ever right.

And there's someone here in the guesthouse,
every day plays some joke on him!

Ah, a nice lady, who is she?

Mrs. Cristalli and her husband.
- Ah, not bad, eh?

But he's excessively jealous.
He doesn't think straight.

Why? - They say she has a lover,
here in the guesthouse.

That's Mrs. Amalia.

And who would she be?
- The owner's sister.

A widow, hoping
to hitch her daughter to someone.

This is her daughter?
- Yes, Rosina.

The lady is on the hunt for
a husband for that dimwit.

If I were a man, I wouldn't marry
her even if she had millions.

Ah, here's the widow,
from the cemetery...

Who's this, an artist?
- What artist?

He's Maestro Pastetta,
a failed musician.

Thinks he's a genius, but has
no money, doesn't pay the rent

and torments our ears
all day on the violin.

Oh, you guys...

Now excuse me, I have to bring the coffee,
otherwise it'll get cold.

and to those listening...

Excuse me.
- Carmela!

Really, we're waiting!
- Here's your coffee.

About time! What kept you?

I stopped with Don Gaetano, the postman.
He gave me this telegram for Dr. Ciccillo.

Give it here.
Serve the coffee, now! Hurry!

Bad news?

No... a visit from Dr. Ciccillo's uncle.

Ah! The one loaded with money?
- That's him,

Left this morning from Roccasecca.

People of Roccasecca,

we all take our last farewell
to our beloved Mayor,

Don Felice Sciosciammocca,
leaving on a long trip.

He's going to Naples!

Beloved countrymen,

in exchange for the overwhelming
affection that you are showing me...

before leaving...

I give you consoling news.

For the future and for the
increase of this noble country...

I have decided to build
at my own expense...

a magnificent lunatic asylum!

Mr. Mayor, sorry but...

instead of thinking of the loonies,
why not think of ourselves,

at least get us a good price
for our mash.

Rest assured,
you are all the same for me.

Men and pigs!
I will provide for all.

Sorry, since you want to
beautify our country,

why, instead of the asylum,
can't we have a nice cafe chantant?

Like in Frosinone.
- You're right,

so we'll get the chanteuse
from Rome and Naples.

I'll bring the chanteuse
at my own expense? Nice job!

Feli, don't do it?
- But I don't think so, no!

The asylum!
And my nephew Ciccillo,

who graduated in Naples,
will become the director!

So Mr. Mayor, before leaving,

if you want to review
our municipal forces...

It is my duty... Come on.

At ease!
Attention!

At ease!
Break ranks!

Great.
- And what of our brave firefighters...

Oh, my gosh, firefighters...

They look somewhat familiar...

To our mayor, who travels far...

May happiness follow you
where'er you are...

Long live the Mayor!

Bon voyage, Mayor!
- Bon voyage! Hooray...

Mom,
is Naples bigger than Roccasecca?

One can see that this girl
is your daughter...

It's not her fault
that she was never in Naples.

If her poor father were alive,
she'd have seen it long since,

he that supported the family.
- Am I not taking you to Naples?

You know, I'm going to Naples.
- Oh yes? Good, congrats.

Thank you. - We see immediately,
the man who goes to Naples...

Nice town, huh?
- Oh, beautiful, adorable.

I did my service there.
- Oh yes?

You know, I failed the medical.

But you sent the telegram?
- He must have already received it.

Imagine how delighted Ciccillo will be,
on receiving news of our arrival.

Oh, damn!

My uncle's coming!

I didn't want this.
When did the telegram arrive?

Just now, I brought it immediately.
- Cicci aren't you playing?

But who wants to play!

Damn it, I didn't want this.
What bad luck!

What can I say...
Son, you are in the black abyss,

therefore, defy death!.
- What?

Othello!
- Don Raffae...

Just look at this...
Hey, Micheli!

What's up?
- Micheli...

I'm ruined.
- Have you lost again?

No, no... worse!

Sit down.

You don't know...
- What happened?

Uncle Felice has arrived in Naples.
- Well?

What Well? You must help me,
you've got to save me! - From what?

Then you don't understand? They
know that six months ago I graduated.

Ln the three years I'm here,
they've sent me more than 60,000 lire.

I know. Peppino!

3 months ago, I needed
another 10,000 lire

and I told them I needed it
for a clinic where I had 15 lunatics.

But you made it all up,
15 lunatics. A Vermouth?

You want one, two Verm...
- No, no, one.

What Vermouth, Miche!
What have I to toast?

15 lunatics.
- Don't laugh, this is serious.

It's hilarious..
- You don't know how my uncle thinks!

And that old wife...

If they find out,
they won't give me another cent

and I'm ruined.
- I can believe it.

Moreover, right now I need
500 lire,

that I must give Don Nicolino,
I lost the game.

And he won't wait any longer.
- 500 lire...

I'll shoot myself...
- You'll shoot yourself...

I'll shoot myself.
- You'll shoot yourself...

Look, something must be done.
- Yes, I know.

Above all you must think
where to send them to live.

How about the villa De Rosa?

The villa De Rosa?
But they're not the owners?

No, but they've left for a fortnight.
And I know the concierge.

You just try to make them leave
as soon as possible.

Thanks, you're a real friend,
then we'll do it this way.

I'll take them there on arrival...
- Yes.

You go prepare the villa
and I'll accompany them there.

Thanks from the heart,
you're a friend!

A true friend!

Mayor, any orders?
- Nothing. Thank you...

Good morning.
- Good morning.

- But Ciccillo hasn't come?
- You don't see him? He's not there!

- But you sent the telegram?
- Yes... I specified everything.

Sure, you forgot to write
the name and address.

Do you take me for an idiot?

I'm not an idiot, I have
been only once in my life.

When, Uncle?

- When I married your mother!
- Oh uncle, here's Ciccillo.

Uncle Felice! Aunt Concetta!
So sorry...

Margheri! Sorry,
but the patients have kept me

and I couldn't come earlier.
Shall we take a cab?

No...
- Yes, I'll accompany you to the house.

No, we've come so far in a carriage,
and we're tired from sitting.

If it's not too far,
we'd prefer to walk.

- No, just a few steps,
it's very close. - A few?

- You feel up to it? - Yes.
- And you?

If they feel up to it,
and I do, let's walk.

OK, whatever you want.
- Indeed, on the way,

you'll give me all the
details about the inmates.

All right. Come on, it's very close...

Ciccillo, but you said
"only a few steps"...

These are 40,000 steps.
- We've arrived. Here it is...

This is the villa De Rosa.
- It's very pretty.

And inside is better,
you'll find it really nice.

Good morning.
- Good morning.

These are the people
who'll be living in the house,

Show them round?
- Yes, please.

Thank you.

Come on, Aunt Concetta.
- And you, aren't you staying?

No, I've an appointment
at the Caff� Della Torretta.

Don't stop, then.
- I can't, it's work.

Ah, if it's work,
profession comes first.

Oh yeah.
- Profession first.

But I'll catch you later, wait.

- See you later, bye.
- Best wishes for the new home.

This is the hallway, it has a window
with a fine view of the sea.

You see the whole panorama...
- Oh yeah, let's see.

No, you can't see
because the door is locked.

But there's the slope, the
slope that goes down the garden

and there at the end, then,
you'll want to see the sea...

You'll really like the sea, huh.

Up there is the terrace.
- Up there?

A beautiful terrace, there you
can hang out your washing,

can eat outdoors...
- Yes, evenings we eat outdoors.

Let's go see.
- No, no, no.

It's locked, sir.

But there's the slope.
- It's open?

Yes always, the slope
that goes down the garden.

There you can dry your washing
and dine outdoors.

We'll eat in the garden...

This way, I'll lead the way, please.

This way...

This is the salon.
Beautiful, huh.

Ooh, the piano.

No, it's locked.

These, then, are the bedrooms.

Tell me one thing,
these are all bedrooms?

No, here's the bathroom.

A nice luxury bathroom,
with all amenities.

Running water?
- Everything.

You turn the tap,
hot water comes out, cold, soap...

All.
- So go get washed.

- No, the lady can't.
- And why not?

Because it's locked.

It's closed, but I say,
there's the slope, the garden...

You wash in the garden.
- In the garden?

There's the dining room.

Beautiful, huh?
- Gorgeous.

Linen, tableware?
- But it's a luxury home.

It lacks nothing. I don't know
how many cupboards there are!

- Finally, that does it for me.
- She's crazy for cupboards.

You don't know what pleasure she gets
seeing a cupboard, she could eat it.

But they're locked.
- Daughter, daughter!

This isn't a luxury home,
it's a lock-up!

Cicci...

Don Nicolino is looking for you
everywhere, he wants the 500 lire.

I know,
don't bring me old news.

Don Nicolino is hunting me,
I'm hunting the 500 lire

and round we go in circles,
Don Nicolino and I.

I don't understand, your uncle
is in Naples? - My uncle?

Good morning.
- Dear lady...

Excuse me, have you
seen Professor De Luca?

De Luca?
- The tall one, with the pince-Nez.

With the pince-Nez?
We've not seen him.

Strange, because there's a little
project with my daughter Rosina.

Well, let's go. Thank you.
- You're welcome.

You say my uncle?

But you don't know
the mess with my uncle Felix.

Which is? - That he wants to visit
my clinic, with the lunatics.

Where will I get these lunatics?

Don't worry aren't there
any lunatics in Naples?

I know,
Naples is full of them,

but the Neapolitan lunatics
aren't available to me.

I need at least 15.
- You can talk to someone.

With who?

You might ask some of the nurses
at the Aversa asylum.

What would it cost them,
they've got so many...

About fifteen lunatics
for half a day, borrowed.

Borrowed.
- Although you know, I...

I'm borrowing my life away,
you've seen with Don Nicolino?

Sorry, sorry.

That little Baron,
I don't remember his name,

with the candy,
you've seen him?

Madam, be patient,
we haven't seen anyone.

Strange, because he had
half a mind with Rosinella...

True, Rosi?
- Yes, Mum.

Well, never...
And that dark young man,

with curly hair,
nice, mustache...

The one with the hai... must...
we've not seen him.

Today there's no one.
- It's a holiday.

Here there's only
Peppino the waiter...

A handsome young man, nice and
elegant, distinguished, always in black,

in tails...
Well, let's take a nice lemon ice.

May we.
- Please do. - Peppino?

How boring she is with
her mania of marrying that pruneface.

If she weren't so crazy, she wouldn't
be living in the Stella guesthouse.

That's true.
Miche...

What did you say?
- Just now?

Just now, about the lady...

If she weren't so crazy, she wouldn't
be living in the Stella guesthouse.

The Stella guesthouse?
- Yeah.

Miche, come with me.

Sit down.

So here we are.
- Did you find the lunatics?

Bring Uncle Felice to
the guesthouse where I live

and I'll say, ''This is my clinic and these
are my patients,'' He'll believe it.

It'll be fine, I'll warn him not to move
from my side, say and do nothing.

You're right,
in here we're all crazy.

What did you say?
- Just now?

Repeat it.
- We're all crazy!

Michelino my beauty,

when you speak out of your mouth
come pearls of wisdom.

I have another idea.

I'll pass you off as one
of the madmen under my care.

No, me a mad...
- Help me.

You said just now that we're all mad.
It'll be no trouble.

Don't worry, you'll be a quiet madman.
- I don't know.

A maniac deep down... with a
melancholy background. Understand?

Believing himself a tenor, the
greatest interpreter of the Barber.

I do the Barber?
- Yes.

It may be that Uncle Felice,
seeing you gets scared

to the point that he won't see
the clinic. - But... - Enough!

Now you leave,
I go and bring him here.

In 10 minutes, you come back,
however, no longer you,

you are madman, escaped
from my clinic, I'll do the rest.

But they've already gone
to live in the villa De Rosa?

Yes, I accompanied them myself.
- You've tipped Bettina?

Miche, what have I told you...
I haven't a penny.

I forgot to tell you,
the owners, when they left,

they locked everything, cupboards,
windows, balconies, fully locked.

Oh God, what else can go wrong?

And how will they,
that poor...

Uncle Felice, his wife and dau...

They're... and didn't wait for me?
Down, Miche!

I'm telling you go and
come back in 10 minutes, running!

Running.
- With the eyes of a madman!

Help me, don't abandon me...
- Easy, easy...

Uncle, why didn't you wait for me,
I was coming to fetch you.

Cicci, I've got a bone
to pick with that house.

Why?
- What?

The cafe is open?
- Wide open.

Well, you know it is... open on the
outside and closed on the inside!

And then you go down the garden,
the slope, to have coffee.

Don't try and be funny, you!

Rather, where will
we sleep tonight?

Don't get mad, we're going in
the front door of the villa.

But...
- But why, Uncle Felice?

Why,
at least that one is open!

Well... rather, what will you have?

Peppino!
What will you have?

I would like a fizzy raspberry.

A... a fizzy raspberry
for the lady.

And you?
- Nothing.

No, have something.

A chocolate.

A chocolate, but the best,
for Miss, eh!

- Peppino... Come here.
- Peppino!

I'm coming.
- And me?

Bring me... a pint.
- A pint?

No, no, wait a minute...

This is a cafe,
what's with the pint?

Bring me a pint and a coffee.

The coffee I put in the pint,
I make proper coffee!

- Felice, think of the house!
- Oh, right...

Because it is humanly impossible
to stay 10 days in that house.

10... 10 days?
- Yeah.

What a darling, my nephew...

He's upset because...
it's only 10 days?

But no, I... - You must
understand that I have my business,

I have a political office,
modestly I'm the mayor.

No, I'm worried,
for 10 days, it's just not possible...

You'll have to leave tomorrow.
- Leave?

Because it's forbidden to stay in Naples?
- No...

but here in Naples, the day after tomorrow,
there'll be an election,

terrible things happen,
riots between the parties,

but anyway, you know that
in Naples, the last time,

we had 50 dead and 300 wounded?

300 wounded, on the danger list!
- Gracious!

- What did he say, I didn't understand.
- There were 50 dead

and 300 on the danger list!
- Ah, a new outbreak.

- Yeah.
- Was it cholera?

You understand,
here they do things big.

Instead we, in Roccasecca,
the last election there was,

one dead alone, but thin,
an emaciated corpse...

Some countries haven't progressed...

- Yeah...
- Then let's start right away, I'm afraid.

Come on you too, then return.
- No, I can't come,

with what I do...
It's not possible.

Sure, Ciccillo has the clinic.
- I've got the clinic...

By the way, the day after tomorrow,
during the riots,

stay at home, stay
with the patients, it's safer.

How many rooms
has this clinic?

How many... How many rooms has it?
About twenty rooms...

But you see
it's not a proper clinic,

it's a kind of boarding house, so..
I've called it the Star boarding house!

Bravo! I like it...
Boarding for the insane...

Right!

Bravo...
- Look there, look...

He's 25 years old and is
already the owner of a guesthouse.

This one, at 40, will buy
the asylum of Aversa and Volterra.

Too kind, uncle.
- But are they insane?

And why not!
- Conce, what a question?

There are about fifteen,
but all decent people, you know?

Ah yes, all very distinguished people.

Yes, he has good taste when
choosing a loony, knows what to do.

Of course.
- A psychiatrist!

- And do they run wild?
- No, not all...

Yes, there are some...
- There must be,

otherwise what clinic is it
where the patients are all calm?

Oh Cicci, look,
before you leave,

these lunatics,
you must show them to me.

I really want you to.
- Fine, I'll take you there.

But, please, don't let them know
you are there to see them.

But am I a child?
Lunatics, I know how they're treated.

The lunatic... I'll indulge him.
- Right.

Concetta, speak the truth...

I indulge you?
- Am I crazy?

No, I mean,
I am inclined to indulgence.

And above all, we must not contradict them.
For example, I,

among my patients,
I've got one on cure...

You?
- Me, yes.

This one, before he was raving...
now he has quite calmed down,

but remains a single fixation,
he believes himself to be a great tenor.

Listen, and Rossini's
The Barber, was written for him!

This is nice...
This is magnificent!

Give me an outline...

Tell me, but you've investigated?
Have you checked? - What?

This Barber
it wasn't written for him?

No! He didn't write it for him.

For heaven's sake! Aunt,
Rossini's Barber... it's another!

Tell me, can anything cure him?

Yes... 500 lire.

He's a mercenary lunatic.

No, no... it's a machine
for electric shocks,

which costs just 500 lire.

If you could give me
this sum, I...

Cicci, look, I, as
a man of experience,

I would recommend one thing,
let him be the barber.

What do you care?
- No, you can't.

It's not possible.
- Because?

What's it to you
if he's the barber?

No, it has to stop,
he can't be the barber.

Why are you argu...

Why did I come to this cafe?

Lupus in fabula...

Who is it?
- He's a wolf dressed in fabric.

They're fabricating clothes for wolves.
- No, sir.

It's the lunatic I recounted earlier.
- No! - Yes!

Lunatic recounted earlier.
- What's that?

Then he thinks he's a count,
now he thinks he's an earl.

No, it's not my home.
It's not my house!

Relax. - He came from
the clinic, but they'll hear of this.

Relax. - I'm afraid,
I'll wait at the cottage. - Yes, go.

Relax, don't be afraid,
he's not dangerous.

I'll humor him.
- Well, good, humor him.

You! Stop.

Stop! Stop!

You recognize me?
- Yes.

Who I am?
- You are my doctor.

Don't scold me.
- No, no.

I won't do it anymore.

Come on, come on,
let's go now.

Come on!

Do you like?

Why is he pulling faces at me?
- He's playing, playing with you.

Here he is...
- Forward, forward.

He's not dangerous.

It's the Barber.

Oh, it's him?
- Him...

The barber? The barber! Pleasure.

Now you know each other...
- No... you're here.

Gioacchino Rossini!

Say something.

No.
No, I'm actually his brother-in-law.

It's his brother in law.
- We're related.

What a pity...

Where were you yesterday
at 5, while I was singing?

Where were you?
- Let me think...

Where was I... Yesterday, at 5...

I was in the army.
- Yes, he was a soldier.

When was I laid off?
- This morning.

You want to see the paper? No,
because if you want, I'll show you.

We'll take your word.
- I took MI above the staff.

- Yes, it's true.
- What?

- I took MI above the staff.
- Yes, I was there.

I don't understand.
- He took MI above the staff.

Ah, you too.
Oh, poor lads...

But to be taken above the staff,

wouldn't it have been easier
to go under?

He likes it.

Next I send you to
the asylum infirmary.

Salvatore! Carmela!
Salvatore? Carmela?

What's up?
- Where were you?

Here I am.
- Hear them ringing?

I hear it, but I only have
two arms and two legs.

One moment!

Who's making that racket?
- The Cristallis,

he's making a jealous scene,

because they say his wife
keeps her lover here.

Go! Go! Go.

In this place
they should get it into their heads

Colonel Tom Scevola,
does not tolerate jokes!

I know nothing.
- I know!

Here they make jokes
in the worst taste!

But if I find
the author of these jokes,

I'll make him pay.

I'll give him a lesson he'll remember
the rest of his life! - Yessir!

Very beautiful...
very beautiful.

Star Boarding House, there it is.

Quite magnificent,
a stately building...

Really nice...

scenic area...
Yes, beautiful view.

And even the ironing.
Good, good.

Because you see, the view...
tempts.

The lunatic, even when healed,
what does he do?

Still pretending to
be crazy, to enjoy the view.

Sits on a balcony,
on a beautiful chair,

with a nice cigar and enjoys
the whole scenic area.

The family pays and you collect!

And I collect...
- Right.

And then I also love the place,
very central.

Here any excess madness
happens on the street,

From up here, the fool
sucks up the cool air.

Look, on the first floor
there are the calm lunatics,

the second, instead, those raving.
- But we won't go there.

No?
- No, we'll visit only the first,

not for nothing, but I have my wife,
your aunt, waiting for me at home.

I understand. Well... let's go in.
- Yes, but... stay close to me.

Yes, but don't be afraid,
they are all...

Calm lunatics, trusted lunatics.
- Yes...

Yes, I know, but always lunatics.

Heaven's above...

Look, if you don't send that
violinist away, I'll go myself!

I told you, I told you
of that starving artist!

Don't be afraid, don't be
afraid of the starving artist...

I'll soon be away.
I'm a musician,

as soon as I find a companion in art
I'll leave on a long tour abroad,

you'll hear of my successes.
- But when, when?

Soon!

Look, for a moment I left
my costume in the kitchen.

Look how it's shrunk.
- Who's seen your costume? What is it?

It's Othello's costume
that I have to try on,

because on Sunday I play
the immortal Othello.

It is the cause,
yet I'll not shed her blood,

Nor scar that whiter skin of hers than snow,

And smooth as monumental alabaster.

We will see, dear Mr. Carlo, we'll see.

What will we see, Colonel?

I refer to those famous jokes,
but he who laughs last laughs longest!

Word of Colonel Tizio Scevola!

It's useless,
I can't exist in that room,

there always before my eyes,
that poor husband of mine.

I understand, you in that room
where you've lived with your husband

and since the Lord called him,

you are left with
that impression.

Move house, that's all I can say.
- It's just words, move house....

The fact remains I see him there,
always there...

Doctor. - Carmela.
- Good morning.

Here we are.

Well...
- It is there, eh.

Please, Uncle Felice.
- No, you first.

No, after you.
- Don't be funny.

Always a madhouse.
Stand by me.

Mamma Mia...

Mamma Mia Bella...
- What is it?

I've never seen
so many lunatics together.

Heroically I greet you!

Abroad, they'll appreciate me
and how!

No joking.
Did you see that?

It's OK, don't worry,
I'll stay here, close to you.

Don't move.
- No, no.

But they're going?

I understand,
maybe it's over, playtime.

Right, it's over... playtime.

And that one there?
Resting, she's restive.

You see she's a bit
recalcitrant...

No, that one,
the poor woman, that one...

She believes she's the
owner of the guesthouse.

That's lovely, lovely,
fill me in.

Then we, to please her, we
give her the run of the place.

You do well, you do well because
you have to go along with them.

Listen to your uncle...

Dear Doctor!
- Yes ma'am... here we are.

Forward, forward.
- But...

There are nurses, yes?
- Yes, and then there's me.

Dear lady...

Well, how are we doing today?
- Not bad and you?

Well, I... I'm fine.

Good...
- Good.

The gentleman is your friend?
- No, he's my uncle Felice.

Nice to meet you!

What a fright. How sudden.

Nice to meet you.
- You're welcome.

Very pleased.

You are so nice.
- Thank you.

Too kind.
- For heaven's sake, it's my duty.

Well, I must say... it's fine...

Ah, ma'am... I'll have to
put my hand in a sling.

Your nephew is
a fine young man.

I'm happy to keep him here,
in my guesthouse,

because I don't know
if the doctor has told you,

I'm the owner.
- Yes, yes, he told me.

The owner of the guesthouse...
And a fine owner too!

But I'm tired.
I'm tired of this life.

As soon as my daughter's married,
I'll sell everything and I go away.

You do well. She has a daughter?
- Yes, yes.

A very pretty daughter...

Yes, pretty, pretty...

Congratulations.
- Thank you. 25.

25?
- 25.

And already here...
- And already here with me.

What a pity... I understand.
- That she's 25?

No, I mean...

You said, what a pity.
- What a pity that she's here.

I mean, she's not married yet.
- Well, fine.

You are not actually married
by chance, because...

Yes, eh?
- Eh... a rosebud...

Where? Up there?
- No.

My daughter is a rosebud.
- I thought the same rosebud...

Talking of the young lady.
- How nice you are.

Look, don't move, don't move.
- No.

I'll call her and you'll meet her.
Don't go away.

Rosina! Don't go away. Rosina!

Rosina!

Oh, Doctor, you're here.

I can't take it anymore
with these crazy lunatics.

This is the director who
supervises the clinic for me.

Dear Don Carlo, I present my
uncle, Felice Sciosciammocca,

who's come to visit the guesthouse.

Nice to meet you.
- Eh, guesthouse...

I'll tell you, this
is not a guesthouse,

this is a madhouse.
- I know, I know...

But it was a good idea
to call it a guesthouse.

But you knew, Uncle Felice,
Don Carlo how he works, poor man,

from morning to night it's non-stop
and on the other hand,

if it weren't for him,
I wouldn't know what to do.

It requires patience.
- I'm not short of work, indeed.

I could do a lot more,

if it weren't for
these blessed lunatics.

And if it weren't for
these blessed lunatics,

you, my dear sir,
what would you eat?

What?
- They are the lunatics that feed you.

Me?
- Sure.

They feed me?
- Uncle Felice?

We want to visit the guesthouse?
- I'll visit it.

You'll lead the way?
- Of course. Please, please.

Thank you.

That is the veranda,
you can see the view.

Cicci...

What is it, Miche?

Down there Don Nicolino,
wants his 500 lire.

He says he's waited too long.
- My uncle hasn't given it me yet.

Try to calm him down, I don't know,
sign a promissory note.

Go down, because
otherwise he'll come up.

Heavens no! I'll come.

It means leaving Uncle Felice alone...

For two minutes.

OK, let's go.

Here you can see all of Naples.

There Vesuvius,
Torre Annunziata...

Torre Del Greco,
the harbor, Castle dell'Ovo...

There is Capri.
- How beautiful.

- There is Posillipo, Capo.
- How beautiful.

From here you can see everything.
- You see everything...

but don't you see my nephew.
- He was with us.

And where is he now?
- He'll be there.

As for there, I don't see him,
I'm worried.

Listen to reason,
I pay immediately when I lose

and you can't at all...
- No need to shout!

I want to shout!

OK, we're talking.
- We'll talk it over.

Try to be patient until tomorrow,
my uncle will give me the money.

He's arrived in Naples.
- Who doesn't pay his gambling debts

in 24 hours, is not a man...
he's a fool!

You've offended me. - Yes.
- You're insulting me!

You offended, give me 500 lire.

If you take that tone,
you know what?

I won't give you that money,
not now, not ever!

Is that so?

Blood!

You are witnesses, I'll call you.

Ciccillo? Where are you?

Oh, here you are,
we were looking for you.

But I've got to look...

No, I want to introduce my daughter,
the most virtuous of daughters.

All the good teachings of Mama.

Has the doctor gone away?
- No, he's behind the door.

As soon as I call he comes,
because he sees and hears everything.

He doesn't go away,
he's always present.

This gentleman is the doctor's uncle,
greet the gentleman.

Good morning, Mr. Doctor's uncle.

Good morning, Miss.

My daughter is a good girl.

Maybe you thought she was
one of the crazy ones...

No, for heaven's sake,
who would ever have thought,

one can see
she's a wise girl.

One can see immediately
she's very refined.

All the good teachings of Mama.

All the good teachings of Mama.

Well trained, eh.
- What, well trained?

No, your training,

education, has given her...
- Profit!

Profit.
- Bravo.

The way she curtsies,
her reverence...

Recites poems.
- That too?

How cute she is when she recites
The sprightly Teresa.

Let's hear The sprightly Teresa.

The sprightly Teresa
mid the grasses met

a butterfly dancing,
she swung with her net

Stop stop! Ciccillo!
I understood everything.

But you've lost your nephew?

I haven't lost him.
We are so accustomed,

we always call each other,
we're barely apart,

every 5 minutes we call each other.
Ciccillo, uncle, what is it... Got it?

Domestic habits.

And do you know what are
the preferences of my daughter?

Don't be shy, what do you prefer?
- The lunatic asylum...

I prefer men over 40.

Oh yes? She prefers men...
over 40.

A man like you, I'd give her
without thinking twice.

Madam... I know, but for me
it would be too much honor.

Please, the honor is mine.

No, don't start, the honor is mine.

No, the honor's is mine!
- Enough said.

Rosi, you'd like to marry him?

Of course... he's so nice.

Then this is a marriage which
can be done. You agree? - I agree.

You won't change your mind?
- Not a chance.

If you change your mind,
I'll lose my temper.

No, don't lose your temper,
I won't change my mind.

Wonderful, then,
my children, be happy.

Ciccillo! Well, now I'll go
because I've things to do.

Well, we'll see you tomorrow,
and will organise everything.

Tomorrow yes.
- Say goodbye.

Goodbye.

Good... goodbye.

Don Carlo!
Ciccillo!

Enough, I said enough,
otherwise we'll see about it!

With these jokes, we'll see!

This one is armed.

My very noble and
approved good masters,

That I have ta'en away
this old man's daughter,

It is most true;
true, I have married her:

What are you doing here?

Excuse me, I thought
the room was empty,

I wanted a breath of air,
but I'll go immediately.

No, no, in fact, please, stay.
Stay, you can help me.

I'm passing through...
- Take a seat.

Look, look, you...
You know Othello?

No, I don't know him.
- You don't know Othello?

I'll explain in two words, I...
I am Othello.

Commander of
the Venetian Republic.

You don't say?
Allow me...

Felice Sciosciammocca,
Mayor of Roccasecca.

Pleasure. Look,
I married Desdemona.

Yes, the daughter of the Senator!
- Really? - Yes.

Yes? I'm delighted!

Congratulations, she's a beautiful girl.
Heavens, is she's a beautiful girl...

Desdemona?
- Yes.

I know her father.
- It's not possible.

I know him better than myself?
How can I not know him?

I see him every day!
- What?

The janitor, with his keys
and the eye patch.

and daughter, running errands.
- Not janitor, Senator!

Ah, Senator...
Oh, how stupid...

I deserve a slap across the face.

No, listen...
So, my lieutenant...

Iago...

he put a flea in my ear.

Watch out for such jokes!
What joke is that?

To put a flea in the ear
of a man of honor?

It's dangerous! It could
puncture the eardrum,

then it goes to the Eustachain tube
and then into the brain!

Here, here...

Give it here.
- What are you thinking of?

You've a flea in your ear...
- But no, my lieutenant, Iago...

He told me that
my wife cheats on me.

But no, no, don't pay
any attention to these things.

I'm surprised,
a serious person like you...

But you know, these lieutenants?
They like to have fun.

First they put
a flea in your ear,

then they put
your home in uproar.

Do you know with whom she betrays me?
- No, no, really...

With my favourite,
with my prot�g�.

With Cassius. With Cassius!

Damn it all!
You're ripping my jacket!

And then don't listen to all
these things, we need the evidence!

But the evidence, I have it!
The handkerchief!

But...
- The handkerchief!

Really?
- Yes?

I too have a handkerchief,
my wife's cheating on me?

We all have one.
And all our wives betray us?

Who doesn't have a handkerchief?
You blow your nose with your fingers?

But the handkerchief was my wife's

and they found it
in the home of Cassius!

Understand?

Yes...
Well, then...

When it's like that...

it puts a different
complexion on things...

I agree with you.

Friend... courage.

Then you'll come Sunday
to see how it ends?

Well, couldn't you tell me now?
- No, no, Sunday...

Sunday. How many seats do you want?
- Me...

One? No, friends,
relatives, to bring along?

You want to make it public?
- Yes.

As you like. Then, if you please,
I'll reckon it up a little...

15 seats, all right?
- Yes, 15 seats.

Tomorrow morning I'll let
you have 15 seats. - OK, thank you.

But really, it's half an hour I'm playing!
- Half an hour?

It's a whole week
you've been playing

and you've given everyone
such a head in here!

But I play to have a glass of water
and I can't have it,

because I am poor,
but I'm an artist...

Of course!
You are a great artist!

Don't be surprised if I agree with him,
because he's half crazy.

Precisely why I am surprised...

I bet you're quite different.
- Yes, of course...

You live here?
- No, no, I don't,

I'm just visiting...

I'm... I'm not from here,
I'm from...

From?
- From... Roccasecca.

Roccasecca?
You said Roccasecca?

Did I do wrong?
- No.

You know the music teacher?
- The master of... - Of Music!

Procopio Pascone,
a great friend of mine.

Procopio Pascone?
- Procopo...

Pascone?
- Yes.

Music teacher?
- Do you know him? - No.

He plays the organ...
- Oh yes!

A feared man, with a beard...
- Yes I know him...

Yes, he played the organ
with his beard. - No...

- Yes, he played the organ...
- How is he?

Well, well, well... he died.
- He's dead? And how did he die?

With, with, with thingy...
- With thingy?

He was seared. With his beard...
- Seared by coals?

Yes.
- He always sat close to the fire,

I said to him...
- Even the coalman said to him:

''Maestro, don't get so close
to the fire!'' - How sorry I am!

Yes I know...

And now who plays the organ?
- Me.

You? Then you are
a music teacher?

Yes, sir.
- Yes?

If you know how to play the organ,
you know... the piano sounds better.

Young man... that's obvious!
- What?

I say, that's obvious!
- I don't understand.

You asked if I know
how to play the piano too...

Of course, if you play the piano,
you play the organ, this is obvious!

No, that's an umbrella!

I know, but this not the umbrell...
I say, this is not obvious,

it's obvious that I play
one and the other!

I play the piano with the umbrella...
Play the umbrella with the piano!

If it rains, I open the umbrella.

And with the other hand I play.
If I could go...

Where would you like to go?
- Nowhere.

I would like to leave, but not here!
- Then where?

From... Seccarocca.
- From Seccarocca?

Yes... No, Roccasecca!
- Roccasecca! And why?

Um... And why?
One question: ''Why?''.

Because I'm an artist
and I would...

Evolve?
- Yes!

A great step...
It was heaven that sent you.

I don't know...
- No, no, heaven!

Tell me something...
You have a wife, no?

No.
- Children, no?

- No.
- Yeah, making children, making...

How dare you? You oaf...
- Say, you've got a sister?

Yeah... And how should I answer?

I do not have any sisters,
young man, but if I had,

with my sister there's nothing doing!
Clear?

But for heaven's sake! Are you alone?
- Yes.

Better! Are you willing
to come with me abroad?

Yes.
- In France?

Yes. - In London? Ln America?
In Liverpool? Lausanne!

Oh yes?
- Yes.

Lose her.
- What?

Lose Anne...
- Lose Anne?

In Liverpool.
I know we're going there...

No! Lausanne, the city of Lausanne.
- Ah, I don't know if Anne's going there,

but it seems so...
- Switzerland.

Ah, she's going to Switzerland!
Yes, I got confused...

And Sweden, Norway and Scandinavia.

First we go to Sweden,
then Norway and...

Then slowly we descendinavia..

And then where'll we be?
- In the wine cellar...

What wine cellar?
I mean the Low Countries.

Oh, those teeny countries
seen from the top of mountains...

Yes, yes...
- Do you accept? - Yes.

We'll give a concert...
violin and piano.

With umbrella. With beard?
- No, no...

No beard, no umbrella,
we'll...

How creative...
We'll be gone for a year!

We'll be raking it in!
- How many rakes...

We'll be raking it in...
- With rakes!

But how many rakes... Uh!

But we have to come to an agreement,
I've not arranged anything, financially.

You'll need to meet the costs yourself?
- How much must I cough up?

Um... One million!
- You cough up...

Two million!
- You cough up...

Then the first takings,
we're raking in the money,

you collect...
- I subtract, subtract!

Of course, another important
thing, we must start at night,

No one must see us.
- Right.

Otherwise they won't let us leave!
We have to run at dawn!

I won't leave you! At dawn!
- Yes, tomorrow!

No, at dawn!
- Help!

What are you doing, are you going?
- Help!

A black man, help,
a black man!

Yet she must die,
- I'm sorry to hear it.

else she'll betray more men.

What a slut!

But once put out thy light,

When I have pluck'd the rose,
a kiss.

Me?
- Again a Kiss.

Don't joke.
- One more, and this the last:

So sweet a kiss...

was ne'er so fatal.

Help!

Help! Director!

Director!

Help!

What is it?
- Director...

I can't take it anymore,
what a fright...

What happened?
- What a fright.

What a fright,
the lunatics are all raving.

What's that?
- What's got into them?

Must be the wind,
a turn in the weather.

Director, they are in crisis.
They are in crisis.

What a fright...
Where's my nephew?

Where's my nephew? I can't
take it anymore, I've lost my voice.

Ciccillo!

Ciccillo!

Doctor, you've treated him?
- It's nothing, just a few stitches.

Then he can leave?
- No, better to let him rest,

especially as he's sleeping.
Help me to write up the statement.

At your service.

Calm down, if your
nephew hasn't come yet,

it's clear, he's been kept busy.
It means he'll come tomorrow morning.

Tomorrow morning? Damn it!

I'm waiting for him to go home.
I'm new to the city.

I don't know the address,
I don't know the street, the number.

But he's not worried about you,
he knows you're in a safe place.

Safe?
- Yes.

You call this safe?
- Of course. - Don't make me laugh.

I'm rather worried about you,
the guesthouse is full, there's no room.

Why, do you want,
that I sleep here? But...?

No, what a fool I am,

Yes, yes, just right for you,
there's a beautiful room...

on the second floor.
- For whom?

But really?
I mean, really really really?

Really, really?
I sleep on the second floor...

I've never slept...
- You don't want to offend me!

Refuse my hospitality...
I won't let you go away!

OK, calm, calm.

I have a question.
You always have the director here?

Yes.
- Huh? Always the director?

You're not by chance a former client?

And then my nephew
has done a nice little cure,

he's cured, he says let's do it...
- What? Of course not.

No, I've always been in good health,

rather thinking of you,
I'll put a bed in this room.

No, no, no. If I really
am forced to stay here,

because that scoundrel my nephew

knows he must fetch me
and he's not come,

if you want to, put the bed
near the entrance, the front door.

You never know, it might happen, I...
- What?

We ate not only without
tablecloth or forks,

but without Felice.

Ln 10 years of marriage, it's the
first night he's not come back.

Mamma, you think something's
happened? - I won't say what I think,

but so many times
I've had to find him,

trying to be funny
with some flirt,

I'll make him remember
this trip to Naples!

Here, without glasses...

Mom, I'm worried.

When have you ever thought
about my husband?

They may have had an accident,
both of them.

Ah, you're worried about Ciccillo?

But it's logical, after all,
he's kind of my brother.

Alright then...

That means now I go in search
of that kind of your brother,

with that kind
of your father, eh?

I'll come too.
- No, stay here,

If they come back they won't find us.
We'll be running around in circles.

Stay here, I'll go myself.

Good night.
Shall I turn off the light?

No, no... light on, door open,

if I need to show urgency,
in case of emergency.

As you wish.
Sweet dreams.

Goodnight, thank you.

Damn, it nearly gave me a stroke!

A clock... Yeah, what else could
they have here, a crazy clock.

Wretches.
What a fright...

My heart's in my throat,
My heart's in my throat.

Who is it?
- Young man?

Remember certain jokes
played on

Colonel Tom Scevola,
are out of order!

But why?

What did I do to him?

Ruffian!

ONLY HIM

Sir?

Who is it?

Sir?
- Oh, for God's sake...

Sir, please... allow me
to take a little place here?

A little place? Here?
- Yes.

Please, take a seat.
- Please hold it. - And who is this?

Crying like a baby...

You know, in my room...

I cannot sleep.
- Oh, no?

I'll always see him before my eyes!

Always sees him
before her eyes...

Yes...
- Who is he?

Pasquale!
- Pasquale...

And who is Pasquale?
- My poor husband.

He's been dead two years...
- Two years...

I've never...

I never knew why he died!

I know... I do...
- You know?

- Yes, I know...
- Really?

Why did he die?

Because with a shrew like you,
he had to die...

What? Shrew?
Me a shrew?

No, I said he died on
Shrove Tuesday.

No, in August.

Well, mid-August, Shrove Tuesday,
it must have been a leap year...

Yes, he's dead...

Now you've got me in tears too...

Ma'am...
enlighten my ignorance...

What does it mean, this sash?

It is a tribute to the
memory of my late husband...

Read it:
Only he...

Only he...

And only he
could have had the guts.

Eh?
- No I mean, only for him...

could you have the stomach
to wear across yours, this sash.

Yeah.
- What courage.

So courageous...
so courageous, him.

Pasquale...
- Pasquale...

Pasquale...

Oh, my sainted aunt...

How good you are.
- Thank you.

Good and handsome.
- Handsome, maybe not. Good, yes.

Being in bed, reminds me,
God rest his soul, of my Pasquale.

Mamma Mia!
- When I was tucking in his blankets...

Like this! Then I'd always
play a little trick...

tickling the soles of his foot!

Like this...
How he liked it, how he liked it!

Enough... I can't bear it,
I can't bear it!

Do you mind if I spend...
the night here, with you?

Are you joking?
All night with me?

Lady, not joking.
Go, go...

They'll be looking for you.
Go back to your ward.

Maybe we'll see each other tomorrow.
- We'll have a nice walk?

Yes... Let's take a breath
of fresh air to the cemetery!

We'll have a few laughs...
- Good night.

Good night. De Profundis...

Lady, if I don't see you tomorrow,
I'll see you the second November!

Ah... a madhouse indeed,
the things that happen!

Young man!

I warned you that certain jokes
played on Tom Scevola,

just will not do!

And tomorrow, you will hear from me!

But what I did to him?
Why did he do this to me?

What did I do to him?

Help! Help!

Sir, help!
Sir!

Help!
- What is it?

Sir...
- What is it? What help?

If anyone here should cry for help,
it's me!

No, it's me,
my husband wants to kill me!

Him too, eh?

He's from the second floor?
- Yes. - The second floor?

So I wasn't wrong,
Him too, huh?

Finally! I've caught you, eh?
- No...

So it wasn't true, huh? Messalina!
Here, I've caught you red handed!

Don't be so rude.

Sir, my hands are white,
practically the colour of milk.

Come here!
- Stop pulling me!

Look me in the face!
- Yes I am.

Tell me the truth!
You come from Milan?

No, from Roccasecca,
I'm Roccasecchese.

Not true, you come from Milan!
- Yes, sir...

- Oh yes?
- I come from Milan.

- You come from Milan? - Oui.
- Bravo! He confessed, you heard him?

Stop pushing.
- Sir...

It sounds... your hour of doom!
- No!

Pay no attention, it's fast.

Is that so?
Now you want to be funny?

No...
- I'll kill you!

No!
- No, don't kill him.

Ah, no?
You defend him?

You defend him, this specimen!

Do me a favour,
don't defend me!

Right! You know what I'll do?
I'll kill you both!

No, why? You want to
kill us both, why?

You both. - Listen now...
just kill her, she's your wife...

Yeah... it would be too easy!
- Watch my nightgown!

Come here!
Come here!

I have spoken, and I promise...
I'll kill you both!

Kill us,
let's see if you dare.

Really, do we need these
courageous experiments.

Please let's kill ourselves,
do me the pleasure.

What are all these pleasures?
I'm from the provinces, from Roccasecca

and I come here to get myself killed?
Whatever next!

Did you hear, he's a provincial.
You think I'd carry on with a provincial?

At least if he was a nice provincial!

Yeah... Yeah...
my wife's right...

Look, in two words
it's as clear as day...

the veil over my eyes.
It's as if it had fallen!

Because those on the
second floor, the veil... falls.

She's right...
how could she fall in love with you?

A provincial.

At least if it had been
a nice provincial, well...

I'd understand,
but you're a right...

A lousy provincial!
Young man, let's not offend, eh!

No, don't be offended...

Rather, my sweetest darling,

forgive me, sweetest darling?

You tell her too.
- Yes. Sweetest darling...

forgive him, sweetie, forgive him.
- No, I won't forgive you!

I'll put a stop
to these scenes of yours.

Then I won't speak to you.
- No, no, come here, darling...

Yes, my sweetie...

Sweetie... Look,
I won't do it again, I swear.

Let's kiss and make up.
- Yes, let's kiss and...

Let's...
What are you doing?

No, I did it to oblige
the lady to make peace,

to compel her!
- Bravo.

Now make peace
and leave me in peace!

There's peace and peace,
here there's no peace!

There's no peace,
it's true, whoever says it!

No peace, Sir,
you must understand me.

Ah I understood! - If you were
married, you'd understand better.

I can't live without my wife.
- Come on, be good and go beddy-byes.

Be a good girl, if not I'll spank
your botty. - Shall we?

No, because now you're calm,
but in five minutes...

No, if needed, I'll call
the nurse, the straitjacket...

But in your five minutes,
I'll be calm.

No, I'll sleep here.

But it's my bed,.

But it's Roccasecca's bed...
- Okay, I'll make a sacrifice,

I'll manage with the lady....
- But, you're crazy!

Ah, now I'm the crazy one?
- Yes, you're crazy, let me tell you!

It means that if my wife insists,
we'll manage here.

With three how is that?
- What three,

I say me and my wife.
- Where am I going?

Go to hell!
- But my bed...

Alright, you go to our room.
- On the second floor?

Ln our room? With open drawers,
valuables, you're joking?

Heavens, I never thought,
valuables, open drawers...

Come on now, dear...
Sweetest darling...

Cheatest darling...

Open drawers, valuables...
and I'm a thief, me?

Who do you take me for?
I'm the mayor of Roccasecca!

Scoundrels!

Eh? Scoundrel me?

What did I do to him?
Why did he do that?

What did I do to him, me?

It was a catastrophe.
- It's a miracle if he doesn't die!

I still don't know what you did!

I wanted to see you,
in my place!

It's all your fault!
- My fault?

It's his fault, what's it to do with me?
- Now it's my fault?

But now, we can't do the number,
because there's no Giovanni.

Look, he has the same build.

Right...

What?
- Solid type...

Let's try him.
- An athlete!

But what...
- Yes, yes...

I say, I don't understand...
Young men, I say...

What game are we playing?

What are you waiting for?
You won't break, come on!

Up!
- What are you doing?

Take his feet.

But... But this is an assault!

I'll snap!

Higher!
Higher!

Higher, again!
Up. let's go!

Bridge!

Round!

But I say,
what kind of joke is this?

We can throw now.
- Eh? Throw?

But I say...
- So, was that alright?

We can go on?
- Yes, but be careful not to kill him.

No...
- Ciccillo! Director!

But I say... but what...
but what are they doing to me?

No, not this,
I suffer from vertigo.

Now!

Help, these are
from the second floor.

They've stopped at the first.
I flew, I flew, help, help.

Now let's try the spin.
- Put me down.

What are we doing? Help!

All done.

Did you see?
Now let's go sleep.

It was so simple, well,
the other one's almost dead.

Come on, now.

Well I'm leaving.
What a joke.

And where are we? It's true
it's a madhouse, but don't overdo it!

This is a madhouse and how.

Even you've found yourself here, birdy.
Who knows who else will come!

They've wrung me out like a dishcloth...

But who's joking?
Who's joking?

All mad, all mad...

Ciccillo, what happened to you?

No, no, don't worry, Margherita,

It was one of my patients,
he was, he was raving.

Mamma Mia, what a dangerous
profession you chose.

Forget it.
Has Uncle Felice returned?

No, wasn't he with you?

Yes... yes, yes, he was with me,
but at some point...

OK, I'll explain another time.

Is Aunt Concetta sleeping?
- No, she's out looking for Uncle Felice.

Where did she go?
- Who knows, she was so worried.

Well I was so worried about you.

You're very good, Margherita

and I assure you that if I'd time
I'd tell you many things, but...

But?

But until I know where
Uncle Felice is I can't rest.

I absolutely have to find him.

Madam, do you want me?
- Yes.

Do you have a cigarette, please?

Actually I smoke cigars,
if you'd like...

No thanks.
- Half a Tuscan?

- No. Are you a foreigner?
- Yes.

English?
- No, no.

French? - No, no.
- German?

Not at all.
Madam, I am from Roccasecca.

Are you also a foreigner?
- No, I'm from here.

Ah, not a foreigner here.
- But I have a nice house.

- Well, I'm delighted.
- Want to see it?

I can't, for heaven's sake,
I'm busy, I can't find my nephew.

But we could have a nice cup
of coffee, honey.

But really, lady,

I don't intend to mix coffee with honey,
that's for the bees.

However I've no time,
I must find Ciccillo.

But never mind Ciccillo,
come with me.

What?
- You know you're cute?

Well, oh my God...

You're a charmer.

Well, well, don't overdo it, let's not
exaggerate, I manage, I cut a dash.

Well really!

I knew it!

What are you thinking,
this is a respectable lady.

She's so sweet and so kind,

without knowing me she invited
me to her house to have coffee.

Madam, not now, but another time

my wife and I will take
advantage of your kindness.

Yeah, and bring your mamma,
so we can play hopscotch!

But can't you see how naive she is?

Hopscotch with Mamma!
- I'll scotch her ideas!

Then we'll do what you want,
provided you don't get angry.

I'm not angry,
I'm not angry.

I'm calm, whilst I'm here,

but once home
I'll break your head!

I don't know what happened, I just
know that they slept separately.

Indeed, the lady said she didn't
even want to see him at table.

Listen Betti, where is Uncle Felice?

He's sleeping on a couch
in the living room.

I'd like to go in, but without
being seen by my aunt. How can I?

Go that way,
through the back door.

The back door.

And Aunt Concetta, where is she?
- In the living room with Miss.

Go, go.

No, no, no... It's no use.
I've dumped him and I'm leaving.

But you haven't given him
a chance to speak.

What can he say,
I saw him with my own eyes!

Shameless, shameless.

This time, leave it be.

Yes, I'll keep quiet,
keep quiet for a quiet life,

but if there's one more thing,
he'll pay for the lot of it!

Madam, out there is the mother
of Mr. Felice's fiancee.

- What? - I thought it was a
mistake, however it seems not.

She said: I'm the mother of the fiancee
of Mr. Felice. Shall I let her in?

Send her in...

Fortunately, I stayed
on the first floor,

If I'd gone to the second,
who knows...

I'm really sorry, Uncle Felice,
it was my fault,

I shouldn't have left you alone.
- It's done now,

Think no more of it it, but I won't
set foot in your clinic again.

even if they kill me,
even if I go crazy!

You are right...
I say... Uncle Felice, then...

Goodbye.
- No, no...

- Yes, I'm saying bye...
- I mean, the 500 lire you promised me.

Me? - Yes, yesterday, at the bar.
- I promised you 500 lire?

- Yes... - All right, every word,
every promise is a debt.

So I'll take the 500 lire
and give it you...

and when you get it
from me, what remains?

Nothing. - From me, nothing more...
- Nothing more!

And we're agreed.
- And we're... well then?

So what?
- The 500 lire?

Ah, I know, I take the 500 lire,
give it to you, what do you do?

Me, I take it.
- And what else do you want?

Nothing more. - So, from me?
- Nothing else.

And the 500 lire?
- And if I can't get it!

Don't rush me!
- Oh, no, no... I mean...

Who's rushing?

Here, this is a thousand.
The change naturally from a thousand...

Alright then...
- No, then what?

Bring me the 500 lire change.
- Then I'll go, buy the machine,

come back and bring the change.

Look, if you see Aunt Concetta,
put in a good word.

She won't leave me in peace,
you know how it is.

Thank you.
- No, no.

I've not gone yet.
- I thought you'd come back.

- No, no... The thousand lire!
- Go, go!

I'll go out the back way, when I return
I'll see aunt and speak to her.

Go where you want...
- I'll talk to her and calm aunt down.

It was a marriage arranged,
how shall we say, in a jiffy.

Yesterday we met Don Felice,
he loved my daughter,

she found him nice...
- Really nice...

- Are you his mother?
- Holy mother of...!

His sister, his elder sister.

I'll have him come right away.

Margherita, go and call
my dear little brother...

and tell him that his fiancee is here.

Excuse me.

Margherita, I'll go
pack the suitcases.

We'll leave immediately,
if not who knows what will happen.

Calm down.
- I'll do nothing here,

but back home, I'll call Don Alfonso
and get a divorce!

Understand?

Ma'am out there is the husband
of your husband's lover.

The husband of whom?
- The lover of Mr. Felice.

So he said, saying that
his wife had confessed.

So? Let him in!

I urge you Rosi, try to be nice.

He's a good match,
we mustn't lose him.

Yes, Mum.
- They've escaped the madhouse!

Don Felice, my son!
- Mamma! Who'd have expected...

You see, we wanted to give you
a nice surprise! Right?

Yes.
- A wonderful surprise,

but not here,
here we can't talk.

Let's go somewhere.
Let's go there...

There we can talk in peace,
without disturbing anyone...

Won't be long.

Where?
Where's this Felice Sciosciammocca?

This one's escaped too?

There you are!
It's useless...

Now you can no longer deny it,
my wife... confessed everything!

You know her!

You know her!
- Me?

Yes... I say? Yes.
- Yes!

You confess?
- Yes, I've known her a long time,

we were kids.
We had the measles together.

Ah yes, huh?
So you like my wife!

Yes, yes... I like her,
I like her...

There's no expectorating for taste!
I like her.

Tell me now...

What do you like best...
in my wife?

Actually I like everything
except one thing!

Which is?
- Her husband!

Sir!
- Sir!

This is an offence that
must be washed with money!

Don't make me laugh...
- Please, do it for me.

For who?
Do it for me, do it for me!

Do I look like a money launderer.
For heaven's sake!

Wash it with a bit of soap.
- No!

I won't wash your wife,
I'm not her washerwoman!

I beg you,
do it for me, say yes.

For you? Well, that puts
a different complexion on things.

I mean...
Yes, let's go in there,

there's everything you need,
we'll make a nice lather!

One moment, where are you taking us?
I don't understand.

We'll make a nice lather.
Be right back.

Where are you going?
- Bettina! Bettina!

Did you call?
- Yes.

Is there someone who can take
an urgent letter to where I say?

I can send my brother.
- Then I'll write it right away.

I'll write it right away.
Here's all I need, yes. Therefore...

Young man, Felice Sciosciammocca
lives here? - Yes why?

Tell him that
Maestro Enrico Pastetta is here.

Here, take this letter,
the address is here.

Who do you want?
- Sciosciammocca.

Come in,
it's really visiting day today.

May I? Thank you...
- You're welcome.

Felice?

Felice! Dear, Felice.

I'm ready to leave.
- It's an escape en masse!

What?
- No, never mind.

I was so happy that
I couldn't sleep a wink.

You, huh? Very interesting...
Well I couldn't sleep either.

But for other...
other reasons.

Your other reasons...
just to have the joy of escaping

from that madhouse
which is the guesthouse.

They noticed?
- What? What can they do to me?

Then we'll start now, right?
Have you prepared your stuff?

Actually... I was preparing.
- Oh yes?

Indeed, I would like to ask you a
favor, since you have a large trunk,

if I can put my little bundle in?

Help yourself.
- Yes, it is, it's so big...

I could get in there myself!

You too?
- Yes.

Get inside?
- Yes, it's so big.

I don't believe it.
- No?

Of course?
- Not if I see it with my own eyes.

Want to see?

You get in there? - Yes!
- I want to see!

You're so nice,
I'd do anything to please you!

Get in.
- I'll show you right away!

Gently.
- Immediately.

Get in, get in.
Done...

Professor!

Where do you want to be sent,

Lausanne or the Low Countries,
via the wine cellar?

Hurry!

Here he is!

Ah, even Muzio Scevola.

Colonel, at ease.

One of us two must die!

That's what I say.
One of us must die.

Yes, five and three is eight.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8!

It's your turn.

We must fight to the death!

To the last drop of blood?

It's not possible.
- Why?

Because I'm anemic, look.
- Don't be stupid.

Choose your weapons,
sword or pistol?

I have to choose?
- Yes.

Whatever I choose is fine?
- Yes.

Free to choose?
- Free.

Dogmatically? You won't
set the dogs on me

saying I chose a little too much?

I've chosen!
- What's that?

I chose everything.
- Give them here!

I told you that
we have to fight here!

Quiet!
No, shut up myself!

We must fight here?
It's not possible, people go by...

Let's go in there. Colonel,
there's no one there!

We can fight in comfort
and do what we want.

Please...

Don Carlo?
- What is it?

A letter for you.
- Who brought it?

This fine young man.

It's urgent.
- Urgent?

Dear Don Carlo, come now to
my house, the villa De Rosa

and bring two porters, and several
meters of rope. Hurry up.

I greet you, Felice Sciosciammocca.

What is it?
You're still afraid?

I've removed my makeup.
I'm sorry I frightened you last night,

but that means
I played the part so naturally.

Yes, very naturally...

This morning I learnt your address
and have come to serve you.

Here, 15 seats.
- Thanks, it's very kind of you.

What is it?

They are tearing down the house!
- No, it's my wife...

who suffers with her heart
which has accelerated beating.

Look there, look!

- Yes, yes...
- The trunk! It's moving!

Nonsense.
don't pay any attention,

It's an old trunk and inside
are some rats, huge rats.

Rats?
- Open up! Open up!

But that's the colonel?
- No, no, it's my wife...

imitating the voice of the Colonel.
- Open up!

I am Colonel Tom Scevola!

But it's the Colonel!
- Yes, imitating my wife.

He went into the bathroom
and remained locked inside,

we want to get in?
- Yes! - Let's go.

Come, let's go...

Please.

No, you're a great actor,
you first.

Are you going to open, or not?

Yes...
Shout, yell...

Unless the director comes,
I'm not opening!

Yes, yes...

Who's knocking?
Who's knocking on the door?

What? The director of the asylum?
Send him in!

Come director, how are you?
I put out a call for you...

because it was my duty!

Who have you brought, 4 nurses?

4 nurses? Very well!

Now I've delivered them to you...
Delivered them to you...

But please,
don't be too severe,

don't be too severe with them!

If they resist,
Put them in a straitjacket!

But Dad?
- Who are you talking to?

Quiet, you'll ruin everything,
in these rooms there are 7 lunatics!

Don Feli? Don Feli...
What's happened?

You sent for me in such
a hurry, what's happened?

And you ask? It's obvious that
the director hasn't got a clue!

Never mind one,
but you've let seven escape!

Don Felice What are you saying?
Are you crazy?

Oh yes? I'm the crazy one.

You hear them?
Raise your voice so they'll fear you.

Here's the director!

Here's the director with the nurses!

Don Feli, why must they fear me?
Why?

What?
They've escaped, all the lunatics

and they're here.
Those treated in the clinic.

Again lunatics... What lunatics?
You're mistaken.

What?
- You weren't in an asylum!

What, I've locked them in the rooms
and one is in there, in the trunk.

Poor souls... But no,
no, those weren't lunatics.

They are better than you.
- But it's not an asylum?

But what asylum,
it's a hotel.

Let those poor people out.

What manners...

Open that trunk, right away!

Aah... where am I?

Mamma Mia...

You'll pay for this!

It's been a rough ride, but fortunately
everything went smoothly...

Cicci, this time I helped you,
but another time...

Don't worry, Miche, before uncle
returns to Naples I'll have a word.

Know what I'll say? I'm well and truly
fed up leading this life. - Yeah...

I pay my respects, thank you

and accept my apology.
And you too...

Mr. Othello, I'm so sorry
and thank you.

Lady, I'm sorry too.
Yes I know...

you wanted me to marry your
daughter, but it's not the case,

because I'm in such a
condition that... And also this,

He wanted to take me to America!
To Lausanne!

But who knows? No one knows.
- So it wasn't true,

you were my wife's lover?
- For heaven's sake! Excuse me.

Too bad, you don't know
what you've lost.

No, no, I know what I've lost,
but that's to say...

I'll save her for another time.
- No, there'll be no time!

As long as I live,
you'll never set foot in Naples!

She won't live long,
I promise you...

But you saw Ciccillo,
how he...

Uncle Felice! Here's the rest...
- Rascal! Scoundrel!

These were the lunatics, eh?
- I brought you...

The clinic with lunatics?
There's even the tenor?

Oh no, for your dindirindina,
I'll give you a black eye!

I spoil you, you know?
- Felice!

Uncle Felice, forgive me.
It's my fault and I ask forgiveness.

I had no money, I was in debt
and didn't know how to...

Kiss your uncle's hand!
Kiss his hand!

Forgive him, Dad.
- Yes, he can be forgiven,

but you can't stay here in Naples,
come back to Roccasecca!

Roccasecca, you go to Roccasecca!
All to Roccasecca!

Goodbye to everyone!

Cicci? Cicci?

And you went to Naples, looking for the
crazy ones. - Quite right, my daughter.

Crazy people are everywhere
the whole world round

They'll be in the audience,
most certainly

And thinking about it
deep down, deep down

I am myself, modestly

And excuse if this my folly
gave you an hour to be jolly

Subtitles: corvusalbus