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1
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,999
What have you done?!
2
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,239
Monster!
3
00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:37,360
You monster!
4
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,680
Oh, you little...!
5
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:37,600
Oh, the fuck!
6
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:54,319
Aye, aye?
7
00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,039
Sorry, I know.
I've locked myself out.
8
00:01:56,040 --> 00:02:00,119
I was just putting something in
the bin and then, click.
9
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,039
So, what do you want? A ladder?
10
00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,839
Erm, no, I don't think I've got
any windows open.
11
00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:07,959
I just need to phone my
friend Stephanie.
12
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,799
Remember her? My best mate?
She's got a spare key.
13
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,879
I mean, I've got a spare key,
but guess where it is?
14
00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,600
In the house.
Fat lot of good that is.
15
00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,440
Yeah, look, you'd better get in,
hadn't you?
16
00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,439
Ah...
17
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:41,839
Sorry, George.
Got locked out.
18
00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:43,679
HE CHUCKLES
19
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:45,760
I feel a bit stupid.
20
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,719
How are you doing? How's school?
21
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:52,719
Oh, it's college now.
College! Good, well done.
22
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:54,759
Here.
23
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:58,279
No, but, erm...
I don't know her number.
24
00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,999
I mean, who knows numbers any more?
25
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,879
But I remember she did that
charity thing with Marie.
26
00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:03,239
You know, remember?
27
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:05,319
The kids' breakfast thing,
so I thought she might have it.
28
00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:06,439
Marie's in work.
29
00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:08,480
I know. So, could you...?
30
00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,039
Clive? I'm busy. What is it?
31
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:24,439
Yeah, I've got Leo from next door
standing here...
32
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,319
...in his pants.
33
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:27,599
Yeah, he's locked himself out.
34
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,919
You know why that is, don't you?
35
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,839
Cos Bridget was on
WhatsApp two minutes ago.
36
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,999
I'm trying to do my job,
but it's ping, ping, ping,
37
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,119
all about him from next door.
38
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:40,120
Because do you know what she said?
Guess what she saw. Bridget.
39
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:48,119
Is that right? What do you
mean, running?
40
00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:50,560
Running out of the house? Who was?
41
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:58,000
And then what happened?
Leo was running?
42
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,959
Yeah, no, he said you've got
his friend's number.
43
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:06,359
That, erm... Stephanie.
Yeah, yeah, that's the one, yeah.
44
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,400
Yeah, no, but she's got the key,
so just text it to me.
45
00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:15,119
Bridget, opposite, she says there
was a man came running
46
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,919
out of your house,
and then you came running after him,
47
00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,839
but he ran off, so, er,
that's how you got locked out.
48
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:23,400
Right. Him.
49
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,279
Morning. Hi.
50
00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:30,959
That was quite a night.
I've never tried gooning before.
51
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:35,039
Not as a couple. Erm,
can I get you a coffee, or...?
52
00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:38,159
Yeah. Black. Thanks.
53
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,920
Eddie. Leo? That's the one.
54
00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:46,919
Erm... I'd offer you some toast,
but I don't have anything in.
55
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,879
I wasn't expecting anyone overnight.
Kind of surprised me.
56
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:52,160
Not that I'm complaining.
57
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,320
Don't you dare!
58
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:03,639
Little...!
59
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:08,279
That was my friend, erm, Eddie.
And he was staying with me.
60
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:13,599
And, he went, I waved him
goodbye, and that's when I, er,
61
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:16,680
took out the paper,
stuff, things for the bin.
62
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,119
PHONE DINGS
63
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,160
Oh, well.
64
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:23,720
Stephanie.
65
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:31,839
I know, but I'm in my pants
and I have to open up at work.
66
00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:37,079
I know you're busy,
I'm sorry, but... Hold on.
67
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,319
Fuck you doing?
68
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,519
Erm, I got, I got locked out.
69
00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:45,119
You weirdo.
70
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,639
Steph, Steph,
I'll take us away at Christmas,
71
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,240
I swear, I'll pay,
just get me out of here.
72
00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:00,159
Right, good. Er, she has a key.
73
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,839
Saul, I don't think you should be
naked in front of Mr Struthers.
74
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,319
Don't bother me.
Yeah, well it bothers me,
75
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,640
so go and get some clothes on, eh?
76
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,279
Ey-yo! Hey!
77
00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:12,879
- Oh.
- That's enough.
GEORGE LAUGHS
78
00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,280
I apologise for my son.
79
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,080
Thanks.
80
00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,239
Stephanie will be around
about 20 minutes.
81
00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,559
She's wrapping something up at work
and then she's coming over.
82
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:27,719
Just put the keys in an Uber.
83
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,079
Ah, she thinks they're
all anti-union,
84
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:31,559
she won't touch them, so...
All right if I just wait here?
85
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,519
No.
86
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,639
OK, it's just for 20 minutes.
87
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,719
Yeah, no, I need to get
to work in a bit.
88
00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,159
I could just sit and watch TV.
89
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,479
George, what time
are you at college? 11.
90
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:43,599
Yeah, you can't sit here with him.
91
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,399
Why not?
92
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:46,520
He's 16.
93
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:08,800
Hey.
94
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:13,039
God. Where'd you get the jacket?
95
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:16,439
Oh, Clive next door, and he
was not happy, let me tell you.
96
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,079
His wife was always angry.
97
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:22,199
I'm surprised they're still together
after what happened.
98
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,439
It was a hook-up called Eddie.
He nicked my laptop and ran off.
99
00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:27,400
I ran after him and got locked out.
100
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:54,599
I'm disgraceful.
101
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,679
You're lucky.
Could've been a lot worse.
102
00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:59,559
I mean, you're 60 next year.
God's sake.
103
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,479
I'm allowed to have fun.
104
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,080
What, like this? Really?
105
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,000
He's not coming back, Steph.
106
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:12,439
Did you see on Instagram?
Curtis in Italy, with her.
107
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:13,959
So, why were you surprised?
108
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:17,239
What happened next door
with Clive Goss, Goss the Boss?
109
00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:19,039
He slept with someone else.
110
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,159
Did he?
111
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:23,359
On holiday, in a caravan park. Ew!
112
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:27,280
I mean, imagine. I mean, what else
is there to do but fuck around?
113
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:33,359
If you think about it, they've got
a son who's, what, 25?
114
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,279
But the other one's only 15. 16.
115
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,439
So, that age gap means
marriage in crisis.
116
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,999
Having another child
never fixes anything.
117
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,439
You eat too much cheese.
118
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,560
Well, not any more.
119
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,239
How's work?
120
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,999
It's insane, thanks to you lot.
121
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,279
What does that mean?
122
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:56,320
Well, it's all your fault,
isn't it? What is?
123
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:03,119
We got this kid in care now,
he arrived in Britain in December,
124
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:06,119
but he's on that scheme,
so there's no records.
125
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:12,519
Says he's 14. Is he fuck 14? He's got
a moustache. He's got a beard.
126
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:14,759
He's 21, at least.
127
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:17,679
But he says he's 14, so 14 it is.
128
00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:22,320
And he is in there with kids, and
he's taking the boys out drinking.
129
00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:27,239
Don't tell me there's no drugs.
There are drugs.
130
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:31,639
But it's the way he
looks at the girls.
131
00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:32,879
And he's always outside
the bathroom,
132
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,879
every time a girl has a shower,
standing there, grinning.
133
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:39,999
But that's just the beginning,
cos this boy, this man,
134
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,799
is on top of the list
to be fostered,
135
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,559
which means I have
to process that application.
136
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:49,719
And these foster families,
they've got daughters.
137
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,999
But what do I tell them?
I can't warn them.
138
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,359
I'm not allowed.
Cos he says he's 14,
139
00:09:55,360 --> 00:10:00,359
and therefore it's a fact.
So, what can I do? Nothing.
140
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,319
And how is this my fault?
141
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:06,439
He self-identifies,
which you lot invented.
142
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:07,720
Thanks very much.
143
00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:24,640
Hey, how you doing?
144
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,639
Susette, love of my life.
It would never work.
145
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:29,719
Thank God.
146
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:30,960
Hey, you. Hiya.
147
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:37,880
Oof.
148
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,240
Morning.
149
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:52,759
What time do you call this?
150
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:55,399
Judy had to open up, boss.
I was waiting outside.
151
00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,479
Hello, Zee. Morning, everybody.
152
00:10:58,480 --> 00:10:59,599
Morning, boss.
153
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:03,279
So, I finished here last night,
was going to go straight home,
154
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:06,479
then I thought, "Oh, quick little
snifter at Monroe's."
155
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:10,079
Met a man called Eddie.
Tall, thin, hot.
156
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:13,759
Chat, chat, chat.
90 minutes later, took him home.
157
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:17,639
You didn't! I did.
Wild sex. I will draw a veil.
158
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:19,999
Then this morning we get up,
go downstairs,
159
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,319
he grabs my laptop,
and runs into the street.
160
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,439
I run after him,
the door closes behind me,
161
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,799
I'm locked out of my own house,
stark naked. No way!
162
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:32,119
Yeah, Stark bollock naked
in the street.
163
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,239
All I could do was steal
a garden gnome from next door
164
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:35,399
to hide my privates.
165
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:36,719
THEY LAUGH
166
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:40,199
I swear to God. I'm in the middle of
the street, my arse hanging out
167
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,640
and a garden gnome hiding
my Kemi Badenochs.
168
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,039
Wait, there's more, there's more.
169
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,959
So I go next door,
there's the neighbour's son
170
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:52,439
fresh out of the shower, dripping.
Oof.
171
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:57,519
25 years old, pink, wet, topless.
Well, I tell you -
172
00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:59,959
all of a sudden, that garden gnome
had a fishing rod.
173
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:01,119
THEY LAUGH
174
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,759
What a start to the day.
I thank you.
175
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:06,840
CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
176
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:18,079
Hanna, what happened yesterday?
177
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,119
I had a headache.
178
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:22,079
Well, that is what
the sick line is for.
179
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,199
You don't ask Tania to
pass on a message,
180
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,839
you phone the sick line,
because I've always got it,
181
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,119
if I don't have it Judy's got it,
182
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:31,559
and we need to know properly
so we can get cover. Understood?
183
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:33,279
Yep. Good. What?
184
00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:34,999
This is Frederic. He's been waiting.
185
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,079
You were supposed
to interview him at half past.
186
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,839
Oh, right. Right.
187
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:42,959
Ah, first customer of the day.
Morning, Melba. The usual.
188
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:46,519
Louise, can you sort out the dame?
Thank you. I'm on it.
189
00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:49,439
So, Frederico,
have you worked in a bar before?
190
00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:51,039
Yeah, I did two weeks at Pinnacle.
191
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,439
Why'd you leave?
Well, they sacked me.
192
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,719
Good start. All right,
let's do this on the hoof.
193
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:56,760
Come behind the bar. Come on.
194
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,399
So, what did Pinnacle pay you? Ten.
195
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,759
We pay 12, but that means
you have to work for it.
196
00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:06,079
So, come on, show me.
Get me a WKD, a gin and tonic,
197
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,799
and a vodka lime, both with ice.
198
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:11,079
Except we don't have any ice.
Mikey, can you get the ice?
199
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,439
On it, boss man.
200
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,679
Basically, we're a speed bar.
We don't do cocktails.
201
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:17,679
Nearest thing we do is a blue lagoon,
but not from a shaker.
202
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:18,719
We don't have time for that.
203
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:19,799
Just pour it straight
into the glass.
204
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,639
Do you know what's in
a blue lagoon? No.
205
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:24,680
Vodka, curacao, and lemonade.
206
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,199
So, what do you do?
Are you a student? Yeah.
207
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,839
What are you studying?
Philosophy.
208
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:30,839
Ooh, philosophy.
209
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,279
You know my philosophy?
I can imagine.
210
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,519
Fuck 'em all. I was right.
211
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:38,319
Ah! Ah... You OK?
212
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:39,679
Electric shock.
213
00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,559
Ah, Zee, will you get that fuse box?
214
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:44,559
Told you, boss,
it's happening all the time.
215
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:46,559
You all right, Freddie?
It's a bit numb.
216
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:49,479
OK, let's do a little test
to see if you were listening.
217
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:55,279
So, tell me, Fred, in a blue lagoon,
there is vodka, curacao, and what?
218
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:56,439
I've got no feeling in my hand.
219
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,959
Have I lost you?
220
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,400
It really shocked me.
221
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,559
OK, all right. Er, do you
want a little lie down
222
00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:08,319
and a glass of water, Freddie?
Hanna, get this boy a seat.
223
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:10,119
Go on, put your feet up, young man.
224
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,519
You HAVE just survived
death by fridge.
225
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,840
Yeah, I am a bit unsteady.
Come and sit here.
226
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,239
Zee, will you have a word
with Hanna?
227
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,039
She's taking the piss.
She can't keep missing shifts.
228
00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:24,319
THEY'RE taking the piss,
THEY keep missing shifts.
229
00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:25,439
All right!
230
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,719
Oh, come on, no, boss, not you.
231
00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:28,720
Honestly, Zee.
232
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:32,079
Your tribe's the most beleaguered
on the entire planet,
233
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,199
and what do you do?
234
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,839
The one thing that is guaranteed
to annoy everyone.
235
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,199
You fiddle about with your pronouns,
and now everyone's
236
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,359
pissed off with you.
237
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,519
My GP stopped prescribing oestrogen.
238
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:44,760
But never mind that, eh? You're
pissed off about one little word.
239
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,159
Yeah, I know. OK.
I'm getting old.
240
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,759
PHONE RINGS
241
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,960
Hello, sick line. Hiya.
242
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,839
Frederic? You're calling in sick?
243
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,919
I don't feel very well.
244
00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:01,559
The sick line is for employees.
245
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:06,199
Yes. But according to
the employment law of 2024...
246
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,719
Don't you dare.
...despite the '26 amendment...
247
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:09,879
Fucking Labour government.
248
00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:11,959
...we've got full workers' rights
from day one,
249
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,839
which starts at
the point of interview,
250
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,520
and I was just electrocuted.
251
00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:19,239
I should get compensation for that.
252
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,080
You little...! Boss.
253
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,679
OK, Freddie.
254
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:30,040
I think you should go home
and consider your position.
255
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:40,400
Thank you for the interview.
I'll let you know.
256
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:43,319
He'll let you know.
257
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,639
Legacy of Keir bloody Starmer.
258
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:48,440
You come to Manchester
and run a bar, your lordship.
259
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:51,919
Yeah? This is Leo, over.
260
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,239
Could you come up here,
boss? And bring Zee with you.
261
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,319
We've got a problem. Over.
262
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,359
What have you done now?
263
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:04,719
3 am, we're locking up,
that's when you said goodbye, Zee.
264
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,959
Me and Mikey head out the front.
265
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,479
You slip into that quarter-turn
where there's no camera,
266
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:10,759
and that's where you
stay all night.
267
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:14,159
Oh, Zee, darling.
JUDY SIGHS
268
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:17,599
This morning, 9 am,
I open up, I go upstairs,
269
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,759
you pretend to arrive,
and you shout upstairs,
270
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,559
say "hello", and I said "hello".
271
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,919
So, you... You slept in that
tiny little space?
272
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:28,920
I thought you were
the clever one. What happened?
273
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:31,680
They said they were
going to kill me.
274
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:38,239
This Polish lad moved in,
and he was all right at first.
275
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:39,839
But then three of his
mates moved in,
276
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:42,879
so it was a house share with
the four of them, and one of me.
277
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,280
And we'd laugh, you know.
278
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,879
But then they said we
were like brothers.
279
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:50,200
Oh, they knew.
280
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,479
And then it gets worse.
281
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,360
They get drunk, start banging
on my door every night.
282
00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,439
"I'm going to fuck you, little boy."
283
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:00,720
Jesus!
284
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,239
The first lad, Michal, he said,
285
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:08,680
"I am going to fuck you
until you're dead."
286
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,399
From that moment on,
they just want to kill me.
287
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:16,960
They said they were going
to cut my throat.
288
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:20,279
Can't you go to the police?
289
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:22,759
Yeah, that'll really help.
290
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:23,799
You can stay with Ashraf.
291
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,759
He's got a room, you can stay there.
I'll have a word.
292
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,119
All my stuff's in that house.
293
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:30,400
Then let's go get it.
294
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,720
OK everybody. Easy, does it.
295
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:43,839
Are they in?
296
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:44,879
They'll be asleep.
297
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:47,480
They get in at four,
sleep till four. Just keep quiet.
298
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,240
OK, let's go.
299
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:11,999
ITEMS CLATTER
300
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,080
Shh, be quiet. Sorry.
301
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:20,440
Come on.
302
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,440
OK. Hurry, girls, come on, let's go.
303
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,799
This isn't a room. It's a box.
304
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,280
They all live like this, the kids.
This is what we did to them.
305
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,039
Hi.
306
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,079
Fuck.
307
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,879
Er, good afternoon, my friend.
We're not causing any trouble here.
308
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,399
Just helping out a colleague.
309
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,000
Just a few ticks
and we'll be gone.
310
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,519
You know, I've always
wanted to visit Poland.
311
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:55,879
Where would you recommend?
312
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,199
Michal!
313
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,839
Come on, quick! Michal!
314
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:00,280
All right, come on, hurry.
315
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:07,519
Who are you? In my house?
Who the fuck are you, grandad?
316
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,880
You try it. You fucking try it.
317
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:12,639
You muppet.
318
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:13,880
Ah, the lady boy.
319
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,839
Going to fuck you with that
big stick, lady boy.
320
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,640
I'm telling you.
321
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:26,359
I can't stop all of you,
but you, Bartek,
322
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,119
I can get you, you little twat.
323
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:31,919
And they can kill me
and rip my head off my body,
324
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:37,559
but before I die I will batter your
tiny little skull into pieces,
325
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:39,160
you fucking prick.
326
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,400
MEN SHOUT
327
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,120
Jesus Christ, Judy! Run!
328
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,879
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
329
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,439
How have you got a gun?
330
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:55,040
I'm licenced to kill 22 types
of bird in my own back garden.
331
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,360
Fuck off!
332
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,160
THEY LAUGH
333
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,759
What the hell, Judy?
You can't just stop!
334
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:08,959
I know what I'm doing.
335
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,559
My uncle was a bodyguard
to the Shah of Iran.
336
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:13,400
Judy! Drive the car!
337
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,160
Fuckers!
338
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,080
Fucking hell!
339
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,760
That's great! Their faces!
340
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,200
ALARM KEYPAD BEEPS
341
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:05,760
DOORBELL RINGS
342
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,760
Go on, give us your key then.
343
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,199
You said you had a spare key,
344
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,119
you might as well give it to me,
mightn't you?
345
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:17,559
Um, well,
346
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:20,199
I'm not gonna lock
myself out again, Clive.
347
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,280
Well, what if you do?
348
00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:26,039
OK.
349
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:27,399
There you go.
350
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:31,679
Er, what's your alarm code?
351
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,519
Yeah, er, OK. 1502.
352
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:35,479
1502.
353
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,280
Oh, and my coat?
354
00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:40,840
What a day I've had.
355
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,999
Thanks very much for this morning.
356
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,399
It was very kind of you.
357
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,959
So, do I get a key for yours?
358
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,600
You wish.
359
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,319
INDISTINCT CHATTER
360
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:05,560
MUSIC THUMPS
361
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,280
I mean, like...
MUSIC DROWNS OUT CONVERSATION
362
00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:29,319
I'm gonna swap shifts with Donna
and go upstairs, is that OK?
363
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:30,679
OK, sure, anything wrong?
364
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:31,879
There's a boy over there.
365
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:34,319
Don't look. Polo shirt.
I teach him.
366
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:35,479
Has he seen you?
367
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,679
Looked straight through me.
368
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:38,839
You think he's gay?
369
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,199
No chance.
He's out to impress the girls,
370
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,639
but if he recognises me,
I'm in trouble.
371
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:45,159
Not just at school.
372
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:46,999
Never mind that I'm his teacher,
373
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,279
he knows where I live.
374
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:49,559
On you go.
375
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:50,800
See you later, boss.
376
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:56,399
OK, I'm off.
377
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,639
NightNet says that
gang of gypsies has moved
378
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:00,719
to Deansgate instead,
so I think we're gonna be safe,
379
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,519
so I will love you and leave you,
my peasants.
380
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,519
Um, boss...
381
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:07,720
Oh.
382
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:30,039
Happy birthday, Melba.
383
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:31,759
MUSIC CONTINUES, LAUGHTER
384
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:34,679
Ladies. Hello, girls. Hiya.
385
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,119
Hey, boys.
386
00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:39,239
No, I'm getting sugared.
387
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,519
There you are!
EXCITED CHATTER
388
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,159
You look like
you're having a good time.
389
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:44,960
Great show. Do come in, come on.
390
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,960
MUSIC BUILDS
391
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:00,920
Ugh.
392
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:09,600
Let's go.
393
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:13,759
Oh, so I went to the
optician's the other day,
394
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,639
cos you've got to look
after your eyes, haven't you?
395
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:20,719
He says, "Miss Dixie, you've got to
stop wanking."
396
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:23,079
I said, "Why? Will I go blind?"
397
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:27,679
He says, "No, you're upsetting
everybody in the waiting room."
398
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,759
Oh, you've been a lovely audience,
you really have.
399
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,199
But before you go,
400
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:36,159
did you see in the news this week
that poor old lady in Levenshulme,
401
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,959
found dead in her flat,
no one to care for her.
402
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,319
I mean, what a world we live in,
eh, girls?
403
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,479
So, just be kind, darlings, be kind.
404
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,159
Oh, for fuck sake.
OK, Melba.
405
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:46,519
Got something to say, darling?
406
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,279
Don't pretend to care.
407
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,519
You fucking Tory!
408
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,119
I've seen you up in Hale Barns.
409
00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:55,799
You haven't just got two cars,
you've got two fucking garages.
410
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,279
Oh, tiny bit of jealousy.
411
00:24:58,280 --> 00:24:59,919
She's greener than Wicked, that one.
412
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:01,399
Your husband...
OK, leave it, leave it.
413
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:02,679
...has money... No, no!
414
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,919
...has money in care homes
415
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,919
that stand women up in the bathroom
and hose them down with cold water.
416
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:12,359
This, ladies and gentleman,
is Melba.
417
00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:15,919
Melba... Mediocre.
418
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:18,319
She's not bitter at all, is she?
Oh, shut up.
419
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,599
I mean, I'm not saying
she's old and past it,
420
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,639
but she were young
when Moses were a lad.
421
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:25,079
That's not even
the right fucking joke.
422
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,959
"She was old when Moses was a lad."
423
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:29,879
Not young. She was old!
Go on, get out.
424
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,279
You're just a bargain
basement Bet Lynch.
425
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:35,639
Come on, Melba.
Do you even know what drag is?!
426
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,879
This lipstick,
these fucking eyelashes...!
427
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,239
It's a protest!
428
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,279
Come on.
No, it's a scream!
429
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:44,159
Let's get you out.
It's a punch in the face.
430
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:45,999
Shove a pie in it, darling.
431
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:48,599
It's not Margaret fucking Thatcher!
432
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,039
Get out, you skanky bitch.
433
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:51,400
You're barred.
434
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:56,319
That's where I met Harry.
435
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:59,599
On that corner, right there,
in 1992.
436
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:03,039
I'd only been in
Manchester just over a year.
437
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:04,199
I never met him.
438
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,639
I don't suppose you would've,
cos he finished with me in 1994.
439
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:08,839
HE CHUCKLES
440
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:10,999
And then he phones me up
441
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,439
one month later,
one month to the day,
442
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,439
and says,
443
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,359
"I'm positive, get yourself tested."
444
00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:19,719
Remember those calls?
445
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:20,959
Ah.
446
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,559
And then...
447
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,120
...I tested positive.
448
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:27,959
I thought I was dying.
449
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,759
Well, in 1994, I was dying.
450
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:32,959
So, I phone him back,
451
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:34,239
answerphone.
452
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:36,400
Phone him back again,
phone him back again.
453
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:41,920
He never picked up. Ever.
454
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,279
Then he moved away went
back to London, gone.
455
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,119
Six years later,
I find out he's dead.
456
00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:50,839
Someone just...
457
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:52,280
...mentions it in passing.
458
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:56,119
Cunt!
459
00:26:56,120 --> 00:26:57,559
Now, we're not meant to blame.
460
00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,400
No. He was a cunt.
461
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,960
You should've
looked this way, darling.
462
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,959
I loved you since
the day I first saw you.
463
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,480
That daft little Scottish lad
with eyes like a fox.
464
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:17,560
I live in hope.
465
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:21,280
Don't, Melba.
466
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:31,879
Happy birthday.
467
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:33,320
I do, though.
468
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,559
Do you ever think it's coming back?
469
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:43,239
All that shit from the '90s?
470
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:45,479
We were despised, but you
read the stuff online now,
471
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:46,559
it sounds just the same.
472
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:48,119
Do I think it's coming back?
473
00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:51,599
Yeah.
It's back, you fucking idiot.
474
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,999
Right now, it's here.
475
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,919
It's a storm, it's a tide,
476
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:57,159
it's a great big tsunami,
477
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,119
and we're in the middle
of it right now.
478
00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:01,279
Do I think it's coming back?
479
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,519
You know, if you'd asked me in 1996,
480
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:05,519
"What do you think
2026 will be like?"
481
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:07,639
I'd have said, "Glory days.
482
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,119
"We'll have equality,
we'll have love and kisses,
483
00:28:10,120 --> 00:28:13,080
"we'll be holding hands,
skipping down the streets."
484
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:17,880
But they tricked us, didn't they?
485
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:20,919
They just waited.
486
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,439
Oh, they let us all come out,
487
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,439
so now we're standing in the open,
488
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:27,319
ready for them to shoot us down.
489
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:28,839
You think that? Really?
490
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,919
Look at me, I'm as out and
as proud as anything, but...
491
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:35,319
...past couple of years,
492
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,359
I'm a lot more careful.
493
00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:40,519
You just started a great big row.
494
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:42,359
On Canal Street.
495
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:43,919
Home turf.
496
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:45,160
But out there...
497
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,279
...I used to walk into
a room and just go,
498
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:49,280
"Ta-da."
499
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:54,880
Now I tiptoe, just in case.
500
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,439
You know the awful thing?
501
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:06,280
Now I don't have to
care as much, not anymore.
502
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,319
Cos I've done my bit.
503
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:11,639
I have fought the good fight,
504
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:14,679
very many times,
thank you very much.
505
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:18,319
HIV, Section 28, the Bolton seven,
506
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,719
oh, bless them, in their
little leather slings.
507
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:23,520
I have marched.
508
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:27,159
Now it's someone else's turn,
509
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,879
one of those bright young things.
510
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,239
They can man the barricades,
or woman the barricades,
511
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:33,800
or them the barricades.
512
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,399
I mean, I'll be 60 next year.
513
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,400
Oh, don't. 60!
514
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:44,679
In a couple of years, I can retire
and remember the golden days.
515
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:46,919
You're kidding yourself, you know.
516
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:50,839
If there's a war you're on
the front line, my darling.
517
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:52,959
You have trans bar staff,
518
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:54,519
that's the battleground right there.
519
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:56,199
Hey, I love my staff.
520
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:59,239
And as a result,
look at TripAdvisor for your place.
521
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:02,279
There they are,
regular as the morning shit,
522
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:05,479
post after post calling
you a paedo and a groomer,
523
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:10,239
because they say you pay chemically
castrated children to work for you.
524
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:11,279
They're just bots.
525
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:12,719
No, that's women.
526
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:13,959
Women who are furious,
527
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,919
and with good reason,
but, no, no, don't start me.
528
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:20,119
And men, grown men typing
away with their big fists.
529
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:21,559
Yeah, but it's just that, typing.
530
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,639
The president of America
531
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:29,359
has given these men permission
to attack us.
532
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:30,480
Leo...
533
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,919
...you're queer in 2026.
534
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:35,479
You're a political act.
535
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:37,719
Yeah, but it'll swing back.
536
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:39,519
We do this, we go through history,
537
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,199
we swing one way,
we swing the other.
538
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:44,519
Conservative then Labour,
Republicans then Democrats.
539
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:45,679
Just...
540
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:49,119
...just give it time, it'll...
541
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:50,839
...it'll settle.
542
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:53,319
Is that what history teaches you?
543
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:54,879
Yeah.
544
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,079
It does.
545
00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:59,759
I think history's merciless.
546
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:01,959
And it only goes one way.
547
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:03,799
Onwards.
548
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:06,959
It marches on, and on, and on,
549
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,879
and what if this never swings back?
550
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:13,199
What if Trump just keeps
on winning forever and ever?
551
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:16,159
How far will it go?
How much will they hate us?
552
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:17,839
Because they hate us, Leo.
553
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:19,999
They really hate us.
554
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,039
And do you know what?
555
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:23,719
I think they've always hated us.
556
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:27,079
Only now they don't
have to pretend anymore.
557
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:28,719
No.
558
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,839
History tells us one thing.
559
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:37,479
That blood and fire
and retribution always happen.
560
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:38,920
And right now...
561
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:42,280
...it's coming for us.
562
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:48,640
ALARM TIMER BEEPS
563
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:45,280
DOOR OPENS
564
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:51,840
Clive, you are inside my house.
565
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:54,439
Well, you gave me the key,
didn't you?
566
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:55,959
So, I thought I'd fix it up for you.
567
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:58,160
You know, that, key safe thing.
568
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:01,319
If you put this on the wall outside,
569
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,199
you won't get locked out again.
570
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:06,759
They give these to the elderly
and disabled. They love 'em...
571
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:08,399
Oh, I'm thrilled to be
in the same category,
572
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,079
but, Clive, I don't think you
should just walk into my house.
573
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,399
I think you should
knock or ring the bell.
574
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:15,520
OK.
575
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:24,079
DOORBELL RINGS
576
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:25,879
Better?
577
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:27,119
Thank you.
578
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:29,439
All right, I'll get on with it.
Where do you want this?
579
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,919
I was thinking, uh...
580
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:33,879
...about here?
581
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:35,439
I don't know, is that good?
582
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:36,559
It should be, yeah.
583
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,559
Yeah, I'll get on with it.
584
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:40,759
Do you ever wear any clothes?
585
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:43,559
Yeah, I should...
Yeah, go on, piss off.
586
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:45,359
I don't need your help.
587
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:46,960
You leave the hard work to me, eh?
588
00:33:58,120 --> 00:33:59,640
Fucking let himself in.
589
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,359
Fucking let himself in.
590
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,639
Clive bloody Goss.
591
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:06,999
My fucking house.
592
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,200
DRILL WHIRS
593
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:12,240
Right, it's done.
594
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,639
Here you are, let me show you.
595
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:17,279
So, the key's in there, right?
596
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:21,039
You put in 1502,
open it up, there's your key.
597
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:22,599
You put it back in,
598
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:24,079
close it, Bob's your uncle.
599
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,719
And that won't attract burglars,
cos they know there's a key there?
600
00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:28,679
I mean, they can't force it open?
601
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:30,399
Does that become a problem?
602
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:31,599
I'll take it down if you want.
603
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:32,959
No.
604
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:34,199
It's up now.
605
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,119
I'll get out your way.
606
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:38,079
Right, it was £17.99,
607
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:39,719
All right,
but I got you another key.
608
00:34:39,720 --> 00:34:42,959
That was a fiver. So, it's £22.99,
609
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:45,079
and I'm not charging you
for labour, all right?
610
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:47,279
Cash OK?
611
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:48,600
If I've got it.
612
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:01,679
You not working today?
613
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:03,839
Oh, yeah, no, I am.
614
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,239
Saturday's our busiest night.
I'm working 'til 4am.
615
00:35:06,240 --> 00:35:10,679
If you can call that work, eh?
Dishing out drinks all day.
616
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,359
Do you know how
many people I employ?
617
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:13,839
No. 45.
618
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:15,719
Fuck off. I do.
619
00:35:15,720 --> 00:35:17,159
It's a bar. So?
620
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,959
You do not employ 45.
621
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:21,999
There's 15 girls just
rotating at the door,
622
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,599
then there's managers,
bar staff, security, cleaners.
623
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,239
How many, are you?
624
00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:27,399
It's just me.
625
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:28,919
Oh, well, nice life.
626
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,759
And you didn't have to increase the
National Insurance for 45 people.
627
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:33,359
No, but I have to
cope with maritime law.
628
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:36,239
What's that? Ah, you see,
you don't know everything.
629
00:35:36,240 --> 00:35:39,239
Under maritime law,
you can sail into this country from
630
00:35:39,240 --> 00:35:40,839
Romania without any qualifications,
631
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:42,519
and you can take my
job from under my nose.
632
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:45,519
Cos you can work as an
electrician with no credentials.
633
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,439
How is that maritime law?
634
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:48,800
Because we're an island.
635
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:55,599
I did think, if you don't mind,
636
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:58,559
I was gonna say do you
need any work doing?
637
00:35:58,560 --> 00:35:59,719
You know, in the bar?
638
00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:04,359
Cos I'm a bit short of hours
and it's not a good time.
639
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,039
And those boys, they cost a fortune.
640
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:09,039
And Marie, she's always nagging
at me, so I'll do a good price.
641
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:11,119
Er, no. We're fine. Sorry.
642
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:13,119
No, well, forget I asked.
No, I'm really sorry.
643
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:14,759
No, it's fine. It's fine.
644
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,200
Just if you hear of anything.
645
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:21,439
How's Curtis?
646
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:23,839
Oh, I don't know.
647
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:25,959
Ask him. Fine.
648
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:28,999
How long's he been gone?
649
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,559
Two years.
650
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:31,999
Marie said he ran off with a woman.
651
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:35,479
Began a relationship
with someone else, yes.
652
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:37,759
That must've been a blow.
To your manhood.
653
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,359
Well, it turns out I can get a
blow to my manhood any time I like.
654
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:42,519
There you go, you see? You had to
make it dirty, didn't you?
655
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,079
Every time.
It's always sex with you lot.
656
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:45,879
I find it revolting,
you know, this time of day?
657
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:49,439
Oh, right, so that's us, is it?
That's the gays? We're all sex?
658
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,199
You had a man running
out of your house
659
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:52,719
with my children sitting next door.
660
00:36:52,720 --> 00:36:54,800
OK, so I sleep around?
661
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:57,760
I'm the one who sleeps around?
662
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:03,120
In this room,
the person who sleeps around is me?
663
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:07,040
What are you getting at?
What do you think?
664
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:13,319
What do you mean?
665
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,519
Oh, nothing, never mind.
Er, 25 quid.
666
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:17,519
Thanks.
667
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:19,319
Was it a real woman?
668
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:23,199
What? With Curtis.
Cos these days it might not be.
669
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:24,319
You know, Marie said,
670
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:27,439
"If he's gay, has he run off with
a man who calls himself a woman,
671
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:28,799
"or a woman who used to be a man?"
672
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:30,919
Cos it's all he, she,
they, and them now, isn't it?
673
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:32,159
So, we can't tell.
674
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:33,559
Well, you know who
started all that, don't you?
675
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:36,159
No. You.
676
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:37,559
I did that? Yeah, you.
677
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:39,959
All of you.
All this fuss with pronouns.
678
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:41,999
It was always you lot.
679
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,239
From the moment we are born,
in the schoolyard,
680
00:37:44,240 --> 00:37:45,719
it's always you
staring at us saying,
681
00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:46,959
"What are you, then? A boy or a
girl?
682
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,559
"Are you a boy or a girl?
What are you, a boy or a girl?"
683
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:51,439
Six years old, if you're not playing
football, it's like,
684
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:52,959
"What are you? Some sort of girl?"
685
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,439
All our lives, "What are you?
What are you? What are you?"
686
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:57,519
And then guess what.
We say, "OK, fine, you win,
687
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,119
"you're right,
we'll do what you want.
688
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:01,479
"If we are so confusing,
then I'll become a she,
689
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:03,159
"she can be a he,
and if that doesn't work,
690
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:05,559
"I can become a them.
What do you think? Happy now?"
691
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:07,079
Well, guess what? No, it's all,
692
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,599
"How dare you change?
How dare you be different?
693
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:11,159
How dare you not know?"
694
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:13,319
We did exactly what you wanted,
695
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:15,880
and you still don't fucking like it.
696
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:19,079
And I will have my change, please.
697
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:23,319
I gave you 25 quid, so £22.99,
that's £2 and one penny you owe me,
698
00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:24,559
please, Clive, thank you.
699
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:27,400
Well, I'll go and get it.
Yeah, you do that.
700
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:55,240
Here. £2, one penny.
701
00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:58,639
Look, all right, I didn't...
702
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:01,080
Oh, no, no, no.
It's all my fault, apparently.
703
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:05,159
I mean, isn't everything?
So, you have a nice day.
704
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:06,920
I do need a spot of work.
705
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,079
There's some dodgy
wiring at the bar.
706
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:12,879
So, yeah, thank you.
707
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,199
I-I'd be very grateful.
708
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,759
Yeah, well, no mates' rates.
709
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:20,959
Well, we're not mates.
710
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:22,639
All right, well drop us
a text and we'll sort it.
711
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:25,799
You know, I mean,
if I've got time, like.
712
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,999
OK.
713
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,480
Thank you.
714
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:37,240
MUSIC THUMPS
715
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:45,240
INDISTINCT CHATTER
716
00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:57,320
MUSIC STOPS
717
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:38,000
MUFFLED ARGUING
718
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:13,520
Unholy by Sam Smith ft Kim Petras
719
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:36,239
EXPLOSION
720
00:41:36,240 --> 00:41:37,520
SCREAMING
721
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:54,879
River said to Lamb,
"'I've always fancied you, sir."
722
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:58,600
Lamb unzipped his dirty,
sweaty trousers.
723
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:01,559
"Eat this, River."
724
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:04,719
And River nuzzled deep
into the unwashed fold.
725
00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:06,000
MUSIC RESUMES
726
00:43:07,240 --> 00:43:08,920
SCREAMING
727
00:43:16,240 --> 00:43:17,480
Please!
728
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:20,360
MUSIC RESUMES
729
00:43:35,720 --> 00:43:37,080
GRUNTING
730
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:42,840
GUNSHOT
731
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:05,080
Fuck.
732
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:12,159
I swear it gets madder and madder,
that family next door.
733
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:15,159
George. Get here.
734
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:16,359
You kept secrets.
735
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:18,919
If you're hiding things from me now.
736
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:20,199
So, you won't tell her next time?
737
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:23,519
Tonight's the night.
I am so gonna get rimmed.
738
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:25,519
Maggie, Maggie, Maggie,
out, out, out.
739
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:26,999
You can look down on women.
740
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,120
Fuck off. Go on, Clive.
741
00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:31,759
Cop a load of this.
742
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:32,919
I still love you.
743
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,239
I think you lot are
so full of all your freedoms,
744
00:44:35,240 --> 00:44:36,759
you don't know when to stop.
745
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:37,920
THEY CHEER
746
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:43,839
You all right?
747
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:46,640
Sit at home with a bad dad,
and you're as closeted as ever.
748
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:51,200
I am so scared.
749
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:58,360
You terrify me.
750
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:03,039
Yeah, like it creeps
through the walls.
751
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:04,680
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
752
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:07,520
Oh, fu...
54668
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