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All language subtitles for The Million Eyes of Sumuru 1967-subrip

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,890 --> 00:00:10,440 - Now we're barely penetrating the market. 2 00:00:11,370 --> 00:00:13,240 Have you considered a sidekick? 3 00:00:13,270 --> 00:00:15,340 One that's easily licensable? 4 00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:17,680 - Well, we have Growler and M. Waverly. 5 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:19,270 They would make great merch. 6 00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:21,340 - Yeah, they can be our new spinoff characters, 7 00:00:21,370 --> 00:00:24,100 the Bone-Bots, and I'd be their friend! 8 00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:26,100 - Hmm. 9 00:00:28,060 --> 00:00:30,410 Maybe you could come up with a cool vehicle 10 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:33,170 and give it something of a catchy name. 11 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,820 Something like the Bone Twister or the Bone Chisler. 12 00:00:36,860 --> 00:00:39,340 - How about, how about Bone Clown? 13 00:00:39,370 --> 00:00:44,240 - Don't challenge me with your feeble ideas! 14 00:00:44,270 --> 00:00:46,030 "Oh, I could be their friend, the Bone Clown." 15 00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:48,310 These interferences can destroy the future, Max, 16 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:51,720 and you know this, we've been over it. 17 00:00:51,750 --> 00:00:53,170 Speaking of which, Kinga, could you make sure 18 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,270 to beef up our presence on MySpace? 19 00:00:55,310 --> 00:00:57,620 it's gonna make a big comeback in the future, 20 00:00:57,650 --> 00:00:59,890 and we want to be part of it. 21 00:00:59,930 --> 00:01:01,820 - Thank you Dr. Cabal. 22 00:01:03,340 --> 00:01:06,440 - Starting to think I should have stayed in the Time Bag. 23 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:08,680 Run the show open, Max. 24 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:10,680 - Here we go. 25 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,370 [upbeat music] 26 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,340 ♪ In the not-too-distant future ♪ 27 00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:22,680 ♪ Next Sunday afternoon 28 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:25,510 ♪ The evil Kinga Forrester 29 00:01:25,550 --> 00:01:28,930 ♪ She ran her empire from the moon ♪ 30 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:31,750 ♪ Her latest plan was the Gizmoplex ♪ 31 00:01:31,790 --> 00:01:35,130 ♪ A twisted scheme based on stolen specs ♪ 32 00:01:35,170 --> 00:01:38,030 ♪ Now she's pulling the strings from the old moon base ♪ 33 00:01:38,060 --> 00:01:39,750 ♪ And she's back to her experiments ♪ 34 00:01:39,790 --> 00:01:44,440 ♪ With prisoners out in space 35 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,790 ♪ I'll send them cheesy movies 36 00:01:47,820 --> 00:01:49,510 ♪ The worst motion picture wrecks ♪ 37 00:01:49,550 --> 00:01:50,620 ♪ La la la 38 00:01:50,650 --> 00:01:53,480 ♪ They'll have to sit and watch them them all ♪ 39 00:01:53,510 --> 00:01:55,820 ♪ And we'll stream 'em at the Gizmoplex ♪ 40 00:01:55,860 --> 00:01:56,820 ♪ La la la 41 00:01:56,860 --> 00:01:59,620 ♪ Now keep in mind, they can't control ♪ 42 00:01:59,650 --> 00:02:02,030 ♪ Where the movies begin or end ♪ 43 00:02:02,060 --> 00:02:03,030 ♪ La la la 44 00:02:03,060 --> 00:02:05,820 ♪ They'll have to keep their sanity ♪ 45 00:02:05,860 --> 00:02:10,960 ♪ what the help of their robot friends ♪ 46 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,410 ♪ Robot roll call 47 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,000 ♪ Cambot - And action. 48 00:02:14,030 --> 00:02:15,270 ♪ GPC - Which one? 49 00:02:15,310 --> 00:02:16,750 ♪ Tom Servo - That's me! 50 00:02:16,790 --> 00:02:18,340 ♪ Croooow 51 00:02:18,370 --> 00:02:21,620 ♪ If you're wondering how we eat and breathe ♪ 52 00:02:21,650 --> 00:02:23,650 ♪ and other science facts 53 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:24,720 ♪ La la la 54 00:02:24,750 --> 00:02:27,750 ♪ Then repeat yourself, It's just a show ♪ 55 00:02:27,790 --> 00:02:30,820 ♪ I should really just relax 56 00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:35,100 ♪ For Mystery Science Theater 3000 ♪ 57 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,000 - It's absolutely stupendous. 58 00:02:42,030 --> 00:02:42,960 - It can't be! 59 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,370 - An astounding feat of human engineering. 60 00:02:45,410 --> 00:02:46,680 - The mind reels! 61 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:48,960 - Guys, it's not that big of a deal. It's- 62 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:49,790 Oh, hey everyone. 63 00:02:49,820 --> 00:02:50,860 Welcome to the Satellite of Love, 64 00:02:50,890 --> 00:02:52,860 where the bots just discovered that I'm tall. 65 00:02:52,890 --> 00:02:56,000 - Not merely tall, gargantuan! 66 00:02:56,030 --> 00:02:57,750 - Why, almost grotesquely so! 67 00:02:57,790 --> 00:03:00,240 - Okay, let's not be hurtful about it, okay Tom? 68 00:03:00,270 --> 00:03:02,030 I mean, how did you guys not notice this before? 69 00:03:02,060 --> 00:03:03,720 - Hey buddy, we got a lot of other stuff going on. 70 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,130 - We do have some questions, though. 71 00:03:06,170 --> 00:03:08,960 - I bet you do, and just to save some time, here we go. 72 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,890 I only play basketball at Dave and Buster's. 73 00:03:10,930 --> 00:03:11,790 - Oh, okay. 74 00:03:11,820 --> 00:03:13,310 - Yes, and I do hit my head a lot. Yes. 75 00:03:13,340 --> 00:03:14,130 - How does gravity- 76 00:03:14,170 --> 00:03:15,100 - Gravity affects me differently. 77 00:03:15,130 --> 00:03:16,340 - Okay. - Right. 78 00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:18,410 - And I'm not friends with Manute Bol because he's dead, 79 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:20,340 and yes, the weather up here is fine, Tom. 80 00:03:20,370 --> 00:03:23,030 Thanks for asking, and no, neither of you can climb me. 81 00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:25,000 - That's where you're wrong, stilt man! 82 00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:27,750 - Hey, ow! - I wish to plant my flag 83 00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:30,580 atop the summit of Mount Jonah! 84 00:03:30,620 --> 00:03:32,100 - Set up base camp on his arms! 85 00:03:32,130 --> 00:03:33,890 - Ow, ow, ow, ow. Back off, okay? 86 00:03:33,930 --> 00:03:35,060 Hey, I'm sorry. 87 00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:37,480 Well look, Everest and K2 are calling. 88 00:03:37,510 --> 00:03:40,100 - Invention exchange time, Jonah, 89 00:03:40,130 --> 00:03:41,480 and we've got an invention 90 00:03:41,510 --> 00:03:43,270 that's perfect for the workplace. 91 00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:46,410 Coffee. People love it, and it doesn't even taste that good. 92 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,680 - Which makes sense, considering you're forcing water 93 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,200 through ground-up beans. 94 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:51,860 Who thought that was a good idea? 95 00:03:51,890 --> 00:03:52,790 - It's not. 96 00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:54,200 So if you're going to wake yourself up 97 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:57,060 with something unpleasant, why not make it 98 00:03:57,100 --> 00:04:01,480 really unpleasant with the Mug of Doom? 99 00:04:01,510 --> 00:04:02,820 - Oooh. 100 00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:04,720 - The Mug of Doom's galvanic sensors 101 00:04:04,750 --> 00:04:06,930 tap into your brainwaves to summon images 102 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,410 of your greatest fears and display them 103 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:12,060 in 3D at the bottom of your mug. 104 00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:13,580 Because nothing jolts you awake 105 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,550 like the adrenaline of terror. 106 00:04:15,580 --> 00:04:16,680 Max? - Well. 107 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,000 [ominous rumbling] 108 00:04:19,030 --> 00:04:19,890 Oh, that's- 109 00:04:20,790 --> 00:04:21,620 My God! 110 00:04:22,650 --> 00:04:27,100 Formless, shapeless, unknowable, 111 00:04:27,130 --> 00:04:29,370 ancient threats from beyond, 112 00:04:29,410 --> 00:04:32,960 older than memory, greater than perception! 113 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:37,060 Red eyes now peering, black talons reaching, 114 00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:39,170 ancient masses waiting in death 115 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,620 'neath ominous seas, endless, meaningless! 116 00:04:45,890 --> 00:04:48,060 Now I'm awake and ready to start my day. 117 00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:49,240 - The Mug of Doom. 118 00:04:49,270 --> 00:04:52,240 Don't talk to me until I've confronted my mortality. 119 00:04:52,270 --> 00:04:53,580 - The worst part of waking up 120 00:04:53,620 --> 00:04:57,860 is visions of a cold inhuman cosmos in your cup. 121 00:04:57,890 --> 00:04:59,510 - You're up, bozos. 122 00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:03,130 - What a coincidence. Our invention is also work-related. 123 00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:05,370 - You loved fruit-flavored candies as a kid, 124 00:05:05,410 --> 00:05:07,860 but now you're a grownup, barf, with a tie, ugh, 125 00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,060 and a job, another barf, bah. 126 00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:11,680 - You have too many responsibilities 127 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:13,680 to waste time tasting the rainbow. 128 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:16,620 - That's why you need Business Skittles. 129 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,720 - Business Skittles have all the fun and colorful 130 00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:21,750 fruit flavors while still maintaining a sense of decorum. 131 00:05:21,790 --> 00:05:23,890 - Liven up your workspace slightly 132 00:05:23,930 --> 00:05:26,130 with all five pragmatic flavors. 133 00:05:26,170 --> 00:05:29,680 - On your way to a conference? Try networking nectarine. 134 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,060 - Ooh, does it taste like nectarine? 135 00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:32,100 - Kinda! 136 00:05:32,130 --> 00:05:35,310 - Got a big presentation? Try Excel orange. 137 00:05:35,340 --> 00:05:38,440 - Oh yeah. This one's made with real PowerPoint juice. 138 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,240 - Prepping for a meeting with the boss? 139 00:05:40,270 --> 00:05:42,270 Try sycophant strawberry. 140 00:05:42,310 --> 00:05:45,200 - My favorite flavor is golden parachute pineapple. 141 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,650 - Ooh, what does that one taste like? 142 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,860 - Do you have a key to the executive washroom? 143 00:05:49,890 --> 00:05:50,930 - No? 144 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,000 - Then I can't tell you. 145 00:05:52,030 --> 00:05:53,240 - Business Skittles! 146 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:56,790 Because you don't wanna grow up, but life forces you to. 147 00:05:56,820 --> 00:05:58,240 - What do you think, sharks? 148 00:05:58,270 --> 00:05:59,720 - Your experiment today, Jonah, 149 00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:03,030 is a slice of bargain basement swingin' sixties spy cheese 150 00:06:03,060 --> 00:06:05,030 that has the nerve to treat an evil woman 151 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:08,240 trying to take over the world like she's the bad guy. 152 00:06:08,270 --> 00:06:11,170 Also Frankie Avalon's in it, so you'd know it stinks. 153 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:15,100 Just try to keep down "The Million Eyes of Sumuru." 154 00:06:15,130 --> 00:06:16,240 Flush them the movie! 155 00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:19,960 - Oh, this one sounds familiar. 156 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:20,820 - Shhh. 157 00:06:22,270 --> 00:06:23,680 Movie in the hole! 158 00:06:25,370 --> 00:06:27,580 - Hey, weren't there five flavors of Business Skittles? 159 00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,100 - We had to lay off the fifth one. 160 00:06:29,130 --> 00:06:31,000 lime redundancy, you know. 161 00:06:31,030 --> 00:06:33,060 - I got a bonus. It had a family. 162 00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:34,720 - Oh yeah, it has kind of a funny aftertaste, 163 00:06:34,750 --> 00:06:35,860 what with the redundancy and all. 164 00:06:35,890 --> 00:06:40,930 [alarm blaring] Oh, we got movie sign 165 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,720 [doors clanking] 166 00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:52,100 [lively discordant music] 167 00:06:52,130 --> 00:06:54,750 - [Jonah] Tha all-warmup orchestra presents! 168 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:57,750 - [Tom] Hmm, not a great turnout this year 169 00:06:57,790 --> 00:06:58,960 for the Dreidel Parade. 170 00:07:02,310 --> 00:07:03,510 - [Crow] Let's use this distraction 171 00:07:03,550 --> 00:07:05,580 to get baby Moses down to the Nile. 172 00:07:08,750 --> 00:07:10,620 - [Tom] The first three floats are all table makers? 173 00:07:10,650 --> 00:07:12,510 That's poor parade planning. Come on. 174 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,480 - [Jonah] Stairs, Larry. Stairs! 175 00:07:18,580 --> 00:07:19,750 - [Sumuru] This is the funeral 176 00:07:19,790 --> 00:07:21,960 of the richest man in the world. 177 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,100 - [Crow] Oh, Scrooge McDuck. 178 00:07:23,130 --> 00:07:25,060 - [Sumuru] These are his 17 sons. 179 00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:26,550 - [Tom] That he knows of. 180 00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:28,930 - [Sumuru] Soon, they will share his fate, 181 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:32,200 together with all the other men who oppose my will. 182 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:33,440 - [Jonah] I'm evil Twiggy. 183 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:36,550 - [Sumuru] The eyes of this girl are watching them, 184 00:07:36,580 --> 00:07:40,860 as maybe some other woman's eyes are watching you. 185 00:07:43,340 --> 00:07:45,060 [bomb exploding] 186 00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:46,030 - [Crow] It's a boy! 187 00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:46,930 - [Jonah] Yay! 188 00:07:47,860 --> 00:07:52,370 - [Sumuru] I have a million eyes, for I am Sumuru. 189 00:07:52,410 --> 00:07:53,820 - [[Tom] I don't see how the two tie together, but okay. 190 00:07:53,860 --> 00:07:56,550 I guess that, oh! I see. 191 00:07:57,790 --> 00:08:01,000 - [Jonah] Technicolor and Techniscope? Well, la de dah. 192 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,930 [jazzy music] 193 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,790 - [Crow] Frankie Avalon in "Beach Blanket Murder!" 194 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,200 - [Tom] Second billing, third party. 195 00:08:13,130 --> 00:08:15,790 - [Jonah] Like ScarJo says, anyone can play anything. 196 00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:22,410 - [Crow] Oh, Klaus Kinski. He was Fitzcarraldo, you know. 197 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:28,270 - [Tom] Hey, Debbie. 198 00:08:28,310 --> 00:08:29,310 - [Jonah] Hey, nice dress. 199 00:08:29,340 --> 00:08:30,440 - [Tom] Oh thanks, it has pockets. Okay, bye! 200 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:31,310 - [Jonah] Bye. 201 00:08:34,060 --> 00:08:36,890 - [Crow] Uh, guys, you're blocking the wheelchair ramps. 202 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,310 - [Tom] Security provided by General Zod. 203 00:08:43,550 --> 00:08:46,310 - [Jonah] Fine, don't say hi. Geez. 204 00:08:46,340 --> 00:08:47,130 - [Crow] Yowch! 205 00:08:47,170 --> 00:08:50,000 [dramatic music] 206 00:08:54,130 --> 00:08:57,650 - [Tom] Oh, this is where all the Bill killers go to relax. 207 00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:00,480 Don't give a Carradine. 208 00:09:02,550 --> 00:09:05,550 - [Jonah] Wow Debbie, you throw the best bridal showers. 209 00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:06,620 - [Crow] Yeah. 210 00:09:06,650 --> 00:09:09,790 Cigarettes and apple juice, a classic pairing. 211 00:09:09,820 --> 00:09:12,650 [dramatic music] 212 00:09:17,750 --> 00:09:20,480 - [Tom] I now call to order the Joyless Luckless Club. 213 00:09:21,820 --> 00:09:24,790 [dramatic music] 214 00:09:24,820 --> 00:09:26,410 - [Jonah] Huh, this page of the script 215 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,480 just says "drinking in despondency." 216 00:09:30,410 --> 00:09:31,580 - [Crow] Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop right there. 217 00:09:31,620 --> 00:09:32,860 You're outta dolly track. 218 00:09:35,650 --> 00:09:38,100 - [Tom] Helen Kim, the doctor will see you now. 219 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:41,510 - [Jonah] Duck. 220 00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:44,510 Duck. 221 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:47,030 Goose. 222 00:09:48,410 --> 00:09:50,650 - [Tom] Hairball. [gagging] 223 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:54,030 [dramatic music] 224 00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,890 [Tom imitates slurping] 225 00:09:55,930 --> 00:09:58,680 [dramatic music] 226 00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:03,860 - [Jonah] Oh, okay. Well, really buried the lede there. 227 00:10:03,890 --> 00:10:05,310 - [Crow] Not bad, eh? 228 00:10:05,340 --> 00:10:08,100 [dramatic music] 229 00:10:08,130 --> 00:10:10,240 - [Tom] Oh, Frankie Avalon let himself go. 230 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,370 - [Jonah] We got great seats for whatever this is. 231 00:10:14,410 --> 00:10:17,240 [dramatic music] 232 00:10:18,170 --> 00:10:19,720 - [Crow] This rules. 233 00:10:19,750 --> 00:10:22,580 [dramatic music] 234 00:10:24,170 --> 00:10:25,200 - [Tom] When you do what you love, 235 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,370 you never work a day in your life. 236 00:10:27,410 --> 00:10:28,890 - [Jonah] You got that right. 237 00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:31,750 - [Crow] Bored now. 238 00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:34,620 [dramatic music] 239 00:10:38,060 --> 00:10:38,890 - Mercy? 240 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,680 - [Tom] Ellen is a mean boss. 241 00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:46,270 [bones snapping] 242 00:10:46,310 --> 00:10:49,750 [Jonah imitates snoring] 243 00:10:51,060 --> 00:10:52,000 - [Crow] And that's pretty much 244 00:10:52,030 --> 00:10:54,030 what I would bring to the team. 245 00:10:54,060 --> 00:10:55,550 - You did very well, Louise. 246 00:10:57,620 --> 00:10:59,720 But now, something more important. 247 00:10:59,750 --> 00:11:02,200 - [Tom] No one's respecting the chore wheel. 248 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:04,410 - You girls were on duty when I conveyed 249 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:07,170 our lady's word to your sisters earlier today. 250 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,130 - [Jonah] I used emojis. 251 00:11:08,170 --> 00:11:10,410 - We received a report from Rome 252 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,860 that gives us some cause for alarm. 253 00:11:12,890 --> 00:11:14,820 It affects every one of us. 254 00:11:14,860 --> 00:11:15,860 [gong ringing] - Fries are up! 255 00:11:15,890 --> 00:11:16,720 - My lady. 256 00:11:18,510 --> 00:11:19,820 - The funeral? 257 00:11:19,860 --> 00:11:21,890 - [Erna] A complete success. 258 00:11:21,930 --> 00:11:23,860 - [Sumuru] And the next of kin? 259 00:11:23,890 --> 00:11:24,790 - There are none. 260 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,860 - [Tom] Nice Snapchat filter skirt. 261 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,340 - May they rest in piece. 262 00:11:31,370 --> 00:11:33,480 - [Jonah] Es. Rest in pieces. 263 00:11:33,510 --> 00:11:34,820 - [Sumuru] Carry on. 264 00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:35,930 - [Crow] Okay, since it's by meeting. 265 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,510 - The report is sufficient 266 00:11:37,550 --> 00:11:41,930 for our lady to go to Italy personally to take charge. 267 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,060 It appears we are in danger. 268 00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:45,130 - [GPC] Lady danger. 269 00:11:45,170 --> 00:11:49,100 - A girl, one of us, has chosen to betray us. 270 00:11:49,130 --> 00:11:50,100 [Tom gasping] 271 00:11:50,130 --> 00:11:53,890 She has done that one unforgivable thing. 272 00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:55,340 She has fallen in love. 273 00:11:55,370 --> 00:11:56,240 [Tom gasping] 274 00:11:56,270 --> 00:11:57,580 - [GPC] And you'll fall in love too, 275 00:11:57,620 --> 00:11:59,170 with beautiful Pismo Beach! 276 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,480 - [Sumuru] In the war against mankind to achieve our aim, 277 00:12:02,510 --> 00:12:06,930 a world of peace and beauty ruled by women. 278 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:07,890 - [Crow] Go on. 279 00:12:07,930 --> 00:12:09,240 - [Sumuru] We have but one weakness, 280 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:13,680 which must be rooted out and destroyed, love. 281 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,000 - [Tom] Exciting and new. 282 00:12:15,030 --> 00:12:16,720 - [Sumuru] Let justice be done. 283 00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:20,200 My judgment is death. 284 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,480 - [Jonah] Ready, set, go! 285 00:12:24,650 --> 00:12:26,790 - [Crow] Can I speak to your manager? 286 00:12:26,820 --> 00:12:29,620 [dramatic music] 287 00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:30,720 - [Tom] Look, I'm sorry I said 288 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,680 third wave Feminism wasn't intersectional. 289 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:34,240 Can't we just talk about this? 290 00:12:35,930 --> 00:12:38,240 - [Jonah] Death by Bikini Atoll. 291 00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:43,100 - [Crow] But it's been less than 30 minutes since I ate! 292 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:47,270 - [Tom] Sheesh, Pentecostals don't even 293 00:12:47,310 --> 00:12:48,820 baptize this aggressively. 294 00:12:51,860 --> 00:12:55,000 - [Crow] Do you reject Satan, and all of us works? 295 00:12:55,030 --> 00:12:56,030 - [Tom] Wet a minute. 296 00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,030 - [Jonah] Three killings in the first 10 minutes? 297 00:12:59,060 --> 00:13:01,030 This movie is Sumuru-thless. 298 00:13:01,060 --> 00:13:03,930 - Yeah. - Sumuru-thless. 299 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,310 - [Crow] You guys, you can see clear down 300 00:13:05,340 --> 00:13:06,170 to the bottom of the lake, 301 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,170 it's like another world down here! 302 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,030 - [Tom] Question, which saint is that? 303 00:13:12,060 --> 00:13:13,310 - [Jonah] Why that's St. Alfonso, 304 00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:15,170 the patron saint of giant hands. 305 00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,750 - [Crow] I gotta deliver this pizza pie! 306 00:13:24,790 --> 00:13:27,620 - [Tom] Now you keep going down so we're the same height. 307 00:13:29,550 --> 00:13:30,930 - [Jonah] Oh, Frankie Avalon. 308 00:13:32,030 --> 00:13:33,270 - Look, what I wanna know is, when are we gonna 309 00:13:33,310 --> 00:13:34,650 get a chance to take up the real thing? 310 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:35,480 - That's what I mean. 311 00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:37,030 I think he's stalling us. 312 00:13:37,060 --> 00:13:39,960 - Speaking of the real thing. Excuse me, Nick. 313 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,340 - [Crow] I guess bros come after everything. 314 00:13:42,370 --> 00:13:45,340 - Oh, oh, oh, Mr, West I believe. 315 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,750 I hoped I'd see you. 316 00:13:47,790 --> 00:13:50,000 And I'm told you are having a holiday or vacation. 317 00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:52,720 - Yes, the CIA does give us an hour or two off now and then. 318 00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:54,270 - CIA? 319 00:13:54,310 --> 00:13:56,510 - Central Intelligence Agency, remember. 320 00:13:56,550 --> 00:13:58,270 - [Tom] Oop, blew my cover. 321 00:13:58,310 --> 00:13:59,930 - Very interesting. Now listen to me, West. 322 00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:01,860 A man I know was in a bit of difficulty. 323 00:14:01,890 --> 00:14:03,680 - [Jonah] Just get his tie here. 324 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:07,030 [stammering] No, I don't know where to touch. 325 00:14:07,060 --> 00:14:07,860 I don't wanna. 326 00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:09,240 - It's bad luck. - Oh? 327 00:14:09,270 --> 00:14:11,240 - Yes, it appears to be murder. 328 00:14:11,270 --> 00:14:13,310 - That sounds like a run of bad luck, doesn't it? 329 00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:14,410 - [Jonah] Just gonna do his pocket there. 330 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:15,820 - The point is this, that anything that happens 331 00:14:15,860 --> 00:14:20,170 in Sinonesia at this moment is of some concern to HMG. 332 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,170 - HMG? - Her Majesty's government. 333 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,030 - Oh yes. 334 00:14:23,060 --> 00:14:24,100 - Yes. Oil, you see. 335 00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:27,170 They found or think they found a big new strike 336 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,820 and this fellow I'm telling you about. 337 00:14:28,860 --> 00:14:31,750 [Jonah humming "The Odd Couple" theme] 338 00:14:31,790 --> 00:14:32,860 He might easily grant us 339 00:14:32,890 --> 00:14:33,820 something important. - Uh... 340 00:14:33,860 --> 00:14:35,790 - You know what those- - Huh? 341 00:14:35,820 --> 00:14:38,170 - Governments are in that part of the world. 342 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,030 - [Tom] Uh... - Anyhow, 343 00:14:39,060 --> 00:14:39,820 we'd like to keep him happy. 344 00:14:39,860 --> 00:14:41,410 - Yes, but would I? - Uh... 345 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,720 - What's good for us is good for the west, West. 346 00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:44,960 - I beg your pardon? 347 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:48,310 - Besides, American intelligence owes us a favor. 348 00:14:48,340 --> 00:14:49,340 - [Jonah] Uh-oh. 349 00:14:49,370 --> 00:14:51,170 - American intelligence owes you a favor? 350 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:54,510 - Yes, and I'm afraid- - And I've come to collect. 351 00:14:54,550 --> 00:14:56,130 - Sir Anthony. 352 00:14:56,170 --> 00:14:57,240 - Mr. West. 353 00:14:58,370 --> 00:14:59,620 - Oh. - Let's go east. 354 00:15:01,170 --> 00:15:03,480 - [Tom] Does that say Hotel Urinal? 355 00:15:03,510 --> 00:15:05,340 [upbeat music] 356 00:15:05,370 --> 00:15:06,310 - [Jonah] Kids, the Holy Ghost 357 00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:07,930 doesn't need that much room, okay? 358 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:10,240 - Let me get through here. 359 00:15:10,270 --> 00:15:11,860 - [Crow] It's just some band called the Quarrymen. 360 00:15:11,890 --> 00:15:13,580 Pay them no mind. 361 00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:15,790 - Hello. - Sir Anthony. 362 00:15:15,820 --> 00:15:17,750 - West, nice of you to be here. 363 00:15:17,790 --> 00:15:19,370 This is Colonel Medika. 364 00:15:19,410 --> 00:15:21,270 - Nice to meet you, Mr. West. 365 00:15:21,310 --> 00:15:22,580 - Please. - Thank you. 366 00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:24,200 - What may I offer you gentlemen to drink? 367 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:26,000 - I won't have one if you don't think be rude. 368 00:15:26,030 --> 00:15:27,170 I've got an appointment. 369 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,200 - That's all right. Senta! 370 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,030 - [GPC] Claus? 371 00:15:29,060 --> 00:15:30,860 - I think I will take a cognac. 372 00:15:30,890 --> 00:15:33,440 - I've got a cognac, nothing here, and a vodka. 373 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:34,620 - [GPC] Six sugars. 374 00:15:34,650 --> 00:15:36,930 - The Colonel and I don't want to be seen 375 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:40,790 for obvious reasons, so we picked a nice quiet place. 376 00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:42,240 - Pardon? 377 00:15:42,270 --> 00:15:43,440 - We picked a nice quiet place. 378 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:44,310 - Ah yes, good. 379 00:15:44,340 --> 00:15:45,790 - Mr. West, no doubt you have read 380 00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,580 about the murder of my secretary. 381 00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:48,680 - [Crow] Yeah, gross. 382 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,580 - As security chief, I must accompany my President 383 00:15:51,620 --> 00:15:55,620 on his world tour, and she had agreed to come with us. 384 00:15:56,550 --> 00:15:58,720 - Well, the Italian police are very efficient, Colonel. 385 00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:01,000 Don't you think that they can handle this? 386 00:16:01,030 --> 00:16:02,100 - [Tom] No. 387 00:16:02,130 --> 00:16:03,960 - Yeah, but you do seem to be getting on very well. 388 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,620 - [Jonah] I can't take it, I wanna dance too! 389 00:16:05,650 --> 00:16:06,930 - [Tom] All right 390 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,890 - I want to slip a few things in tonight's D.B. 391 00:16:09,930 --> 00:16:11,340 - Slip them into what? 392 00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:13,410 - Diplomatic bag. - That's enough for me. 393 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:14,580 - [Crow] This is G.O. 394 00:16:14,620 --> 00:16:15,720 - [Tom] What? 395 00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:17,340 - [Crow] Getting old. - Oh. 396 00:16:19,370 --> 00:16:21,030 - Thought he'd never leave. 397 00:16:21,060 --> 00:16:22,310 Now, do please go on. 398 00:16:22,340 --> 00:16:23,440 - [Tom] Drone away. 399 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:27,860 - Well, I am with President Boong's goodwill tour 400 00:16:27,890 --> 00:16:29,580 and we are leaving Rome tomorrow. 401 00:16:29,620 --> 00:16:30,820 - [Tom] I will miss you. 402 00:16:30,860 --> 00:16:32,200 - What I would like is to have someone 403 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:35,030 to get to the bottom of the murder in my absence. 404 00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:36,170 - [Crow] Pass. 405 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,510 - I have a feeling that this is part 406 00:16:38,550 --> 00:16:41,200 of a plot to kill President Boong. 407 00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:45,100 - [Jonah] Hey, I know Annette Funicello! You impressed? 408 00:16:46,820 --> 00:16:49,060 - Well, I'll be happy to do whatever I can. 409 00:16:49,100 --> 00:16:51,480 - [Tom] Hey Nick, she thinks I'm Frankie Valli! 410 00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,860 - Hi, Nick. How's the action? 411 00:16:53,890 --> 00:16:54,750 - It looks great. 412 00:16:54,790 --> 00:16:56,650 - [Crow] I'm objectifying. 413 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:57,680 - Oh yeah. 414 00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,510 Well, that's because I live a nice clean life 415 00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:00,750 and think clean thoughts. 416 00:17:00,790 --> 00:17:01,890 - Of course you do. 417 00:17:01,930 --> 00:17:04,340 - Why don't you try to follow my example 418 00:17:04,370 --> 00:17:06,480 and you too can be a winner. 419 00:17:06,510 --> 00:17:07,170 See you later? 420 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,200 - No, I don't think so. 421 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:09,620 I'm gonna try and get to bed early tonight. 422 00:17:09,650 --> 00:17:11,170 - [Jonah] Joan Rivers is in for Carson. 423 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:12,030 - Me too. 424 00:17:14,060 --> 00:17:14,890 - [Tom] I was told my character 425 00:17:14,930 --> 00:17:16,410 would have lines and a name? 426 00:17:20,060 --> 00:17:20,860 - Who was that? 427 00:17:20,890 --> 00:17:22,620 - His name's Tommy Carter. 428 00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:23,680 - And what does he do? 429 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,030 - [Crow] Creeps. 430 00:17:25,060 --> 00:17:27,820 - Ride, shoot, do judo, ping pong, karate. 431 00:17:27,860 --> 00:17:28,790 Just like everybody else. 432 00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:29,890 - [Jonah] Ping pong? 433 00:17:29,930 --> 00:17:30,860 - For a living? 434 00:17:30,890 --> 00:17:31,620 - Oh no, no, no, no. 435 00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:32,510 His father left him- 436 00:17:32,550 --> 00:17:33,620 - [Jonah] Is that Tim Ryder up there? 437 00:17:33,650 --> 00:17:35,030 - He doesn't need a living. 438 00:17:35,060 --> 00:17:37,650 Tell me a little bit more about the death of your secretary. 439 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:38,680 - [Jonah] Nice segue. 440 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,030 - What I can tell you is surprisingly little, 441 00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:44,100 but I have made out a dossier of everything 442 00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:46,030 I think will be of help to you. 443 00:17:46,060 --> 00:17:48,060 - Ah, good. Shall we go? 444 00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:48,930 - Okay. 445 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,340 - [Tom] Drink and dash! 446 00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:51,200 - [mumbling] To the neighbors. 447 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,270 I hope that cockroach doesn't get it 448 00:17:53,310 --> 00:17:55,200 - [Crow] George, I said no ad-libbing. 449 00:17:56,310 --> 00:17:57,170 - [Jonah] Hello viewer. 450 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:58,680 There were five mistakes in that scene. 451 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:00,170 Can you name them all? 452 00:18:02,650 --> 00:18:04,620 - [Tom] Wait, was that bar in a cave in an office building? 453 00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:05,750 - Can I give you a lift, Colonel? 454 00:18:05,790 --> 00:18:06,960 I'm parked right in there. 455 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,310 - No thanks, Mr. West. I think I'd rather take a walk. 456 00:18:09,340 --> 00:18:10,580 - Okay. I'll see you in the morning. 457 00:18:10,620 --> 00:18:12,370 - [Crow] Tell your secretary, oh! 458 00:18:12,410 --> 00:18:14,340 - Goodnight and thank you. - Yeah. 459 00:18:14,370 --> 00:18:15,170 - [Jonah] Whatever. 460 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:16,240 - Goodbye. - Bye. 461 00:18:17,170 --> 00:18:18,550 - [Tom] Damn, I wish I was a better listener. 462 00:18:18,580 --> 00:18:19,790 I wonder what he wanted. 463 00:18:21,310 --> 00:18:22,890 - [Crow] Well, better let GrubHub know 464 00:18:22,930 --> 00:18:24,510 I'm available for food delivery. 465 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,410 - [Jonah] Oh great. He can fall asleep anywhere. 466 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,680 I envy him. 467 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,100 [soft music] 468 00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:34,580 - [Tom] Hey buddy, you dead? 469 00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:41,790 - [Crow] I'm not sending you to school 470 00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:43,200 until you blow your nose! 471 00:18:46,270 --> 00:18:47,550 - [Jonah] No, I don't wanna smell 472 00:18:47,580 --> 00:18:49,620 your dinner napkin, you nutcase! 473 00:18:51,790 --> 00:18:53,750 - [Tom] Say that's, that's soft. 474 00:18:53,790 --> 00:18:56,000 [siren wailing] 475 00:18:56,030 --> 00:18:58,240 - [Crow] The speed bumps in Rome are no joke. 476 00:19:03,060 --> 00:19:04,410 - [Jonah] Ah, he was chloroformed 477 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:05,480 when I got here, I swear! 478 00:19:05,510 --> 00:19:08,000 [tense music] 479 00:19:10,060 --> 00:19:12,340 - [Tom] Get me 20 CCs of whole milk, stat. 480 00:19:12,370 --> 00:19:14,680 - [Crow] Oh, be careful. He could have a spinal injury. 481 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,200 [imitates bone cracking] Oh well. 482 00:19:17,060 --> 00:19:19,750 [engine revving] 483 00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:22,200 - [Jonah] Okay Colonel, have a nice night! 484 00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:28,820 - [Tom] More like the Bad Humor men. 485 00:19:28,860 --> 00:19:30,860 [dramatic music] 486 00:19:30,890 --> 00:19:33,270 - [Crow] They blend in to the night, don't they? 487 00:19:33,310 --> 00:19:36,030 [engine revving] 488 00:19:37,060 --> 00:19:38,720 - [Jonah] Excuse me, can I get a Bomb Pop? 489 00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:40,480 Hello? Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! 490 00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:43,170 [siren wailing] 491 00:19:46,340 --> 00:19:47,240 - [Tom] Yeah, see, Annette and I 492 00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:49,030 have this kind of arrangement and- 493 00:19:50,930 --> 00:19:52,340 - [Crow] Four murders and a car chase! 494 00:19:52,370 --> 00:19:54,370 This movie slows down for no one. 495 00:19:54,410 --> 00:19:57,130 [tense music] 496 00:19:57,170 --> 00:19:58,340 - [Jonah] This isn't a chase scene. 497 00:19:58,370 --> 00:20:01,100 This is crappy footage from someone's semester abroad. 498 00:20:01,130 --> 00:20:03,860 [tense music] 499 00:20:03,890 --> 00:20:05,100 - [All] Whoa, whoa! 500 00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:09,580 - [Tom] The next morning. 501 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,750 - [Crow] Must be the car's nap time. 502 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,060 - [Jonah] That's the biggest 503 00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:20,680 Kenny Rogers Roasters I've ever seen! 504 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,860 [tense music] 505 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,860 - [Tom] Sorry Pal, Quit Reading. Hmm. 506 00:20:29,060 --> 00:20:31,340 - [Crow] Mr. Bean's Roman Holiday. 507 00:20:31,370 --> 00:20:32,200 - [Tom] Oh. 508 00:20:34,930 --> 00:20:36,200 - [Jonah] Okay, I'm a likable person. 509 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:37,270 I am worthy of respect. 510 00:20:37,310 --> 00:20:39,240 I am a competent, mature, professional 511 00:20:39,270 --> 00:20:40,130 who will not screw this up! 512 00:20:40,170 --> 00:20:41,370 Let's go! 513 00:20:41,410 --> 00:20:44,000 - [Nurse] It would be best not to perform the operation. 514 00:20:44,890 --> 00:20:47,820 I understand. Very well. 515 00:20:47,860 --> 00:20:50,240 I shall deliver my report to the Villa Padovani. 516 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,310 Yes. Goodbye. 517 00:20:54,370 --> 00:20:56,170 - [Tom] It's Dr. Girlfriend! 518 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,240 - Who are you? How did you get in here? 519 00:20:58,270 --> 00:20:59,370 - [Tom] I'm a locksmith. - My name is Nick. 520 00:20:59,410 --> 00:21:01,130 - [Tom] And I'm a locksmith. - And I broke in. 521 00:21:01,170 --> 00:21:03,720 I didn't want to, but nobody came 522 00:21:03,750 --> 00:21:05,410 to answer the bell at the gate. 523 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:06,680 - I must get it fixed. 524 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:07,820 - [Jonah] Business is slow. 525 00:21:07,860 --> 00:21:10,550 - What made it so imperative that you should get in? 526 00:21:10,580 --> 00:21:13,440 - You'd never guess, but I'm looking for a friend of mine. 527 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,410 - This is a private hospital. 528 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,100 - Yeah, I have a feeling that he's a new guest here. 529 00:21:18,130 --> 00:21:19,060 - [Jonah] Where is he? 530 00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:20,860 - I'm sorry, but I must ask you to leave. 531 00:21:20,890 --> 00:21:22,130 I have an emergency. 532 00:21:22,170 --> 00:21:23,750 - [Tom] And I can't hold it in. 533 00:21:25,170 --> 00:21:27,960 - Perhaps if you leave me his name or your telephone number, 534 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,510 I could let you know if he's a new patient here. 535 00:21:30,550 --> 00:21:32,370 You must excuse me. Goodbye. 536 00:21:32,410 --> 00:21:33,930 - Goodbye. 537 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,720 - [Crow] His name is Medika. M-E- 538 00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:37,410 Are you writing this down? 539 00:21:41,370 --> 00:21:43,170 - [Jonah] Now what was I just doing? 540 00:21:44,060 --> 00:21:45,410 - [Tom] Jason Mendoza? 541 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,030 - Mr. West! 542 00:21:47,060 --> 00:21:48,510 - Hey, wait a minute. 543 00:21:48,550 --> 00:21:50,130 - [Crow] But we have to surgery. 544 00:21:53,030 --> 00:21:54,890 - [Jonah] Feeding the stirrups. Come on buddy. 545 00:21:54,930 --> 00:21:56,340 - Look, ladies. 546 00:21:56,370 --> 00:21:58,930 My Blue Cross is all paid up. 547 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,310 - [Tom] Sorry, but this is out of network. 548 00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:05,270 - [Jonah] And then there were nun! 549 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,200 [chuckling] Get it? 550 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:11,580 - [Crow] My muffins! 551 00:22:11,620 --> 00:22:13,890 - [Nurse] There's nothing wrong with you, Mr. West. 552 00:22:13,930 --> 00:22:15,030 - Huh? 553 00:22:17,270 --> 00:22:19,620 - Don't worry, she's the real thing. 554 00:22:19,650 --> 00:22:21,030 - Huh? - Huh? 555 00:22:21,060 --> 00:22:23,790 - I mean she's a real nurse and this is a real hospital. 556 00:22:23,820 --> 00:22:26,030 - [Tom] And you will have a real bill. 557 00:22:26,060 --> 00:22:27,750 - A token of my esteem. 558 00:22:27,790 --> 00:22:28,580 - [Jonah] Weed! 559 00:22:28,620 --> 00:22:29,510 - For you. 560 00:22:29,550 --> 00:22:30,960 - [West] Oh, you shouldn't have. 561 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,200 - Where do you want me to put it? 562 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:35,000 - [West] [chuckling] Wherever there's room. 563 00:22:35,030 --> 00:22:36,200 - [Crow] Ow! - We're living things! 564 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:37,550 - Be grateful to Mr. Carter. 565 00:22:37,580 --> 00:22:39,310 He decided to follow you, luckily. 566 00:22:39,340 --> 00:22:40,440 - He's right. 567 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:43,240 I lost you, so I drove around for about 40 minutes. 568 00:22:43,270 --> 00:22:45,650 Suddenly I saw the ambulance pulling out of the driveway, 569 00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:47,680 so I decided to pay my respects. 570 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:49,130 - So you found me. Thank you. 571 00:22:49,170 --> 00:22:49,860 - Pleasure. 572 00:22:49,890 --> 00:22:50,860 - What about the Colonel? 573 00:22:50,890 --> 00:22:53,310 - Oh, the Colonel. He's dead, I'm afraid. 574 00:22:53,340 --> 00:22:54,720 He was obviously a marked man. 575 00:22:54,750 --> 00:22:55,580 He hadn't got a chance. 576 00:22:55,620 --> 00:22:57,240 They tailed him to the club, 577 00:22:57,270 --> 00:22:58,820 waited for him in the ambulance. 578 00:22:58,860 --> 00:22:59,720 - [Jonah] But his recipes. 579 00:22:59,750 --> 00:23:01,130 - I'm sorry to hear that. 580 00:23:01,170 --> 00:23:02,510 I'm sorry he's dead, but- 581 00:23:02,550 --> 00:23:04,030 [all laughing] 582 00:23:04,060 --> 00:23:05,410 I'd like to get on with my vacation. 583 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,480 - My real interest, which I assure you 584 00:23:07,510 --> 00:23:09,240 is fully shared by your government, 585 00:23:09,270 --> 00:23:14,370 was not so much in the late Colonel as in his employer. 586 00:23:14,410 --> 00:23:15,550 - [Crow] Line? 587 00:23:15,580 --> 00:23:17,960 - President Boong. - Quite so. 588 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:18,960 - [Jonah] As in fall down, go? 589 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,200 - Working with him? 590 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:21,060 - No, no, no, no. 591 00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:21,960 He's been thinking and looking 592 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,000 for a nice girl and playing house. 593 00:23:24,030 --> 00:23:25,820 Why should he work for Boong? 594 00:23:25,860 --> 00:23:27,650 - Well, it's only fair to assume 595 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:31,170 since the Colonel's death that a vacancy does exist. 596 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:32,030 - [Crow] You rascal. 597 00:23:32,060 --> 00:23:33,620 - Look, I'm not interested. 598 00:23:33,650 --> 00:23:36,030 I am on vacation. 599 00:23:36,060 --> 00:23:36,930 - A pity. 600 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,480 - [Tom] You're dead to me. 601 00:23:38,510 --> 00:23:39,960 - Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute. 602 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:41,790 It seems to me I remember that female doctor 603 00:23:41,820 --> 00:23:44,240 saying something about a villa. 604 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:47,100 - Interesting. 605 00:23:47,130 --> 00:23:49,270 - [Jonah] He took a gentleman's pause. 606 00:23:49,310 --> 00:23:52,960 - Mr. West, would you like to do us just one more favor, 607 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:56,440 the last and then you'd be free to enjoy your holiday? 608 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:57,310 - [Crow] Hard pass. 609 00:23:57,340 --> 00:23:59,060 - Let me guess, you want me to go 610 00:23:59,100 --> 00:24:01,370 and check out the villa, right? 611 00:24:01,410 --> 00:24:03,200 - Ah-ha, he's got it in one. 612 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:04,720 - [Tom] By George, he's got it. 613 00:24:04,750 --> 00:24:09,440 - Your government are depending on you, both of you. 614 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,200 - [Jonah] Whaaa? 615 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:12,480 Oh, well let's get outta here. 616 00:24:12,510 --> 00:24:14,310 - [Crow] Oh. Oh, all right. 617 00:24:14,340 --> 00:24:17,060 [doors clanking] 618 00:24:24,510 --> 00:24:27,060 - Well, old chaps, let's go over this bally mission 619 00:24:27,100 --> 00:24:28,720 one last time, what what? 620 00:24:29,750 --> 00:24:30,510 - Huh? 621 00:24:30,550 --> 00:24:31,410 - It's simple. 622 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,100 HMG and the CIA need you to get the VIP 623 00:24:34,130 --> 00:24:37,030 from the USA in his BMW to the HMV 624 00:24:37,060 --> 00:24:41,860 near the BBC with his DB at an ETA of 9:00 AM GMT. 625 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:43,480 - Huh? 626 00:24:43,510 --> 00:24:44,720 - Greenwich Mean Time! 627 00:24:44,750 --> 00:24:48,680 - Jolly good, and I've arranged for the VP of HMV 628 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:53,720 to arrive in a GMC supplied by MI5 ASAP with a 4k HDTV 629 00:24:54,170 --> 00:24:58,580 tuned to HGTV with a soundtrack by the Beegees. 630 00:24:58,620 --> 00:25:00,440 - Huh? - Pay attention! 631 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,100 This all has to go let clockwork. 632 00:25:02,130 --> 00:25:06,550 - Yes, yes, the CW. So anyway, FYI. 633 00:25:06,580 --> 00:25:09,200 - Oh, I know that one! For Your Information. 634 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:10,510 - Don't be ridiculous. 635 00:25:10,550 --> 00:25:12,750 That's Federal Yellowdress Informant. 636 00:25:12,790 --> 00:25:17,170 She'll meet the BMW at the UN with the USMC BTO, CCR, 637 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:22,200 and UB40 while you ROTFL on AOL, then BRB so we can TTYL. 638 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:25,790 - Talk To You Later? - Correct! 639 00:25:25,820 --> 00:25:27,310 - Ah! then why'd you? 640 00:25:27,340 --> 00:25:28,130 Oh, you. 641 00:25:28,170 --> 00:25:31,510 - Precisely, Oklahoma University. 642 00:25:31,550 --> 00:25:35,410 So you see, the MC5 will approach the NSA VIP 643 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,860 with their new CD on the QT, in the MI5 BMW 644 00:25:38,890 --> 00:25:41,750 at the VW and OMG, IRL, IMO, 645 00:25:42,820 --> 00:25:44,000 BTW, LOL, BRB. 646 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:49,030 ABC, NBC, CBS, AMC, TNT, CMA, 647 00:25:49,060 --> 00:25:50,270 GMO, ASPCA, UCLA, YMCA, ICUP, OK? 648 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,680 - Yeah, what do you say to that? 649 00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:59,580 - OWGMS. 650 00:25:59,620 --> 00:26:00,580 - Huh? 651 00:26:00,620 --> 00:26:02,620 [alarm blaring] - Oh, we got movie sign! 652 00:26:03,750 --> 00:26:06,480 [doors clanking] 653 00:26:14,620 --> 00:26:17,100 - [Tom] Oh, good. More words for Nick to point at. 654 00:26:20,310 --> 00:26:21,310 - [Crow] I thought we agreed 655 00:26:21,340 --> 00:26:23,100 I get to be Gilligan this time. 656 00:26:25,310 --> 00:26:27,620 - [Jonah] I guess it's Bring Your Child to Work Day. 657 00:26:29,270 --> 00:26:32,060 - [Tom] The clown nose alarm! Something goofy is happening. 658 00:26:32,100 --> 00:26:33,200 [goofy clown laughing] 659 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,650 - Coming in on station three. Low end of the fence. 660 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,620 The bottom wire is registering. Should we take a look? 661 00:26:39,650 --> 00:26:40,440 - [Crow] I'm on break. 662 00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:42,270 - I'll go myself, you stay here. 663 00:26:45,030 --> 00:26:45,860 - [Jonah] The secret villa 664 00:26:45,890 --> 00:26:47,620 could use a good pressure washing. 665 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:55,510 - [Tom] Just hand them a tract and say "Have a nice day." 666 00:26:57,510 --> 00:26:58,310 - [Crow] They never thought 667 00:26:58,340 --> 00:26:59,720 they'd be seen in broad daylight. 668 00:27:00,620 --> 00:27:03,060 [tense music] 669 00:27:04,580 --> 00:27:06,820 - [Jonah] Okay Carter, just light it and run. 670 00:27:06,860 --> 00:27:07,890 No, don't hold it. 671 00:27:07,930 --> 00:27:09,030 No. What are you doing? 672 00:27:09,060 --> 00:27:11,000 You keep the dog poop in the bag. Stop folding it! 673 00:27:11,030 --> 00:27:11,820 No, bring it to me! 674 00:27:11,860 --> 00:27:13,200 Come on. We've practiced this. 675 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:14,370 Come on, geez. 676 00:27:17,370 --> 00:27:19,170 - [Tom] Tut tut, it looks like rain. 677 00:27:22,270 --> 00:27:23,620 - [Crow] Wow, some real Liz Taylor 678 00:27:23,650 --> 00:27:25,270 Richard Burton energy here. 679 00:27:27,100 --> 00:27:29,340 - The physical presence of a man. 680 00:27:29,370 --> 00:27:31,480 I have found it impossible to resist. 681 00:27:31,510 --> 00:27:32,680 - Well, be my guest. 682 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:34,620 - [Jonah] Put our service to the test. 683 00:27:37,060 --> 00:27:39,720 - [Tom] Once removed from his natural habitat, 684 00:27:39,750 --> 00:27:42,270 the Frankie Avalon becomes disoriented, 685 00:27:42,310 --> 00:27:44,370 only having the instincts to survive 686 00:27:44,410 --> 00:27:46,820 in environments like beaches and sock hops. 687 00:27:49,890 --> 00:27:51,370 - [Crow] I have infiltrated the dollhouse. 688 00:27:51,410 --> 00:27:54,000 I repeat, I have infiltrated the dollhouse. 689 00:27:56,340 --> 00:27:57,310 - [Jonah] Tammy, it's Thursday. 690 00:27:57,340 --> 00:28:00,000 On Thursdays we wear blue. How hard is this? 691 00:28:02,370 --> 00:28:07,370 ♪ I wanna tell you all a story of the Harper Valley PTA ♪ 692 00:28:08,510 --> 00:28:10,310 - We are met again, my children. 693 00:28:10,340 --> 00:28:12,580 - [Jonah] Just say good morning, weirdo. 694 00:28:12,620 --> 00:28:14,820 - On the most happy occasion. 695 00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:19,270 The initiation, with your approval, of a new sister. 696 00:28:19,310 --> 00:28:20,480 - [Crow] Oh, it's pledge week. 697 00:28:20,510 --> 00:28:24,410 - Our numbers are growing, as they will, as they must. 698 00:28:26,410 --> 00:28:27,890 Helga. Yeah? 699 00:28:27,930 --> 00:28:28,750 - Come. 700 00:28:29,930 --> 00:28:30,790 - [Jonah] Good girl. Helga. 701 00:28:30,820 --> 00:28:31,720 Good girl. Come on. 702 00:28:31,750 --> 00:28:32,620 You can do it. 703 00:28:32,650 --> 00:28:33,480 [Crow whistling] Oh, who's a good girl? 704 00:28:33,510 --> 00:28:35,170 Helga is. Come here. 705 00:28:39,580 --> 00:28:43,060 - You see one eminently fit to join our ranks. 706 00:28:43,100 --> 00:28:44,720 She is young. - Meh. 707 00:28:44,750 --> 00:28:46,240 - Beautiful. - Eh. 708 00:28:46,270 --> 00:28:47,820 - Healthy. - Ish. 709 00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:49,340 - And gifted, - I guess. 710 00:28:52,860 --> 00:28:53,750 - [Jonah] Why's she got a tattoo 711 00:28:53,790 --> 00:28:55,170 of Kevin Bacon on her stomach? 712 00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:56,510 - She has my approval. 713 00:28:57,620 --> 00:28:59,410 Does she have yours? 714 00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:00,510 - [Women] Yes, my lady. 715 00:29:00,550 --> 00:29:01,620 - [Crow] Seconded. 716 00:29:02,820 --> 00:29:05,100 - Congratulations, my child. 717 00:29:05,130 --> 00:29:06,550 - [Tom] Dues are five bucks a month. 718 00:29:06,580 --> 00:29:09,310 New girls bring the snacks. Welcome to Lady Army. 719 00:29:10,410 --> 00:29:11,240 - Go. 720 00:29:11,270 --> 00:29:12,030 - [Jonah] And put some clothes on. 721 00:29:12,060 --> 00:29:13,480 Have some self-respect. 722 00:29:14,820 --> 00:29:16,680 - [Crow] Beach Blanket Boi-oi-oing! 723 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:18,440 - Soon our gathering will come to an end. 724 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,130 - [Tom] Bang! 725 00:29:20,170 --> 00:29:22,680 - And you will all return to your posts all over the world. 726 00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:23,860 - [Jonah] Some of you go to Akron. 727 00:29:23,890 --> 00:29:24,680 I'm sorry. - Some of you 728 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:27,410 will feel alone, terribly alone, 729 00:29:28,550 --> 00:29:30,000 but the others will have the benefit 730 00:29:30,030 --> 00:29:32,550 of knowing there is a sister close at hand. 731 00:29:32,580 --> 00:29:34,720 - [Crow] Yay, sisters. - You all be sustained 732 00:29:34,750 --> 00:29:36,820 by the ideals that unite us. 733 00:29:36,860 --> 00:29:38,240 - [Tom] Live, laugh, love. 734 00:29:38,270 --> 00:29:40,960 - Those of you here today have been responsible 735 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,790 for the almost complete success 736 00:29:42,820 --> 00:29:44,930 of Phase One of our operations. 737 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:48,370 You have become the mistresses and the wives, even, 738 00:29:48,410 --> 00:29:50,930 of 11 of the most influential men in the world. 739 00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:51,960 - [Jonah] The Green Bay Packers. 740 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:56,130 - They control millions and you control them. 741 00:29:56,170 --> 00:29:58,510 I say almost complete success 742 00:29:58,550 --> 00:30:01,130 because one man has proved the exception. 743 00:30:01,170 --> 00:30:02,170 - [Crow] Yeah. 744 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,130 - He's not impervious to the charms of women. 745 00:30:04,170 --> 00:30:05,440 Just the reverse, in fact. 746 00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:06,720 - [Tom] He's super pervious. 747 00:30:06,750 --> 00:30:11,200 - This man will be taken care of in Hong Kong on the 25th. 748 00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:12,510 [alarm bell clanging] 749 00:30:12,550 --> 00:30:13,860 - [Jonah] Eww, stucco. 750 00:30:14,790 --> 00:30:16,440 - [Crow] Huh? - My lady. 751 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:18,440 - Erna? Don't let him get away. 752 00:30:20,170 --> 00:30:21,200 - Hey, motormouth. 753 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,440 - [Tom] Just loving these DIY stunts. 754 00:30:24,410 --> 00:30:25,240 - [Jonah] Yeah. 755 00:30:26,510 --> 00:30:29,680 Now if I were a man, where would I ruin things? Hmm. 756 00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:35,580 - [Crow] [sniffing] I smell Old Spice and Bryllcreem. 757 00:30:35,620 --> 00:30:37,340 [tense music] 758 00:30:37,370 --> 00:30:38,200 - Get up. 759 00:30:39,860 --> 00:30:40,680 Come on. 760 00:30:42,060 --> 00:30:42,890 Move. 761 00:30:42,930 --> 00:30:44,650 - [Tom] Go, move. Come on, get up. 762 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:46,060 Go, move. Go. 763 00:30:46,100 --> 00:30:47,440 Come on. Go. 764 00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:50,240 And go. Keep going. 765 00:30:50,270 --> 00:30:54,890 You go, you. Go, come on, and stay. 766 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:57,240 - My lady. 767 00:30:57,270 --> 00:30:58,440 - Who was the man? 768 00:30:58,480 --> 00:30:59,820 - [Crow] You da man, my lady. 769 00:30:59,860 --> 00:31:02,030 - It was the American, and another. 770 00:31:02,060 --> 00:31:03,030 - Give me the gun. 771 00:31:03,060 --> 00:31:04,340 - [Tom] Give me the whip. 772 00:31:06,170 --> 00:31:08,000 - [Jonah] You can't kill me. I quit! 773 00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:12,270 - [Crow] Get me another gun. 774 00:31:13,370 --> 00:31:16,030 - My lady, I'll do anything. 775 00:31:16,060 --> 00:31:17,370 - [Tom] That's what got you here. 776 00:31:17,410 --> 00:31:21,030 - We will think of something, my dear. Erna? 777 00:31:21,060 --> 00:31:23,550 - [Jonah] I can't slap her from here. You do something. 778 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:26,030 - My lady. 779 00:31:27,170 --> 00:31:29,270 [gun firing] 780 00:31:29,310 --> 00:31:30,370 - [Crow] They shot her with air! 781 00:31:30,410 --> 00:31:31,510 - [Jonah] Whoa. 782 00:31:31,550 --> 00:31:34,930 [men laughing] . 783 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:36,930 - I think it was a great idea that we stop and have a drink, 784 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:38,960 but I think I'm ready for another one. 785 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,240 - You had two already. 786 00:31:40,270 --> 00:31:41,720 - Three, but who's counting? 787 00:31:41,750 --> 00:31:42,550 - You are. 788 00:31:42,580 --> 00:31:43,410 - [Tom] And that's what I've been 789 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,000 meaning to talk to you about. 790 00:31:46,170 --> 00:31:48,340 - I think Sir Anthony knows more than he's telling us. 791 00:31:48,370 --> 00:31:49,890 - You're so right. 792 00:31:49,930 --> 00:31:51,170 Wonder why he hates us. 793 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:53,000 - [Jonah] 'Cause it's us. - Hates us? 794 00:31:53,030 --> 00:31:54,480 - Yeah, it's not very friendly to send us out 795 00:31:54,510 --> 00:31:56,860 where people can bite us and shoot at us, is it? 796 00:31:56,890 --> 00:31:59,200 - Yeah. It's downright nasty. 797 00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:00,170 - Then make me one of those. 798 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,030 I'm gonna give him a call right now. 799 00:32:02,060 --> 00:32:04,790 - [Crow] He won't answer us. "Coronation Street" is on. 800 00:32:06,340 --> 00:32:07,370 - [Tom] Dead lady! 801 00:32:11,510 --> 00:32:12,750 - [Jonah] Say, Annette's not looking so good. 802 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:18,170 - [Crow] Root beer? 803 00:32:19,410 --> 00:32:22,680 - She is, of course, dead. 804 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,170 - [West] Unless she's a damn good actress. 805 00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:25,340 - [Tom] She's dead. 806 00:32:25,370 --> 00:32:26,890 [knocking on door] 807 00:32:26,930 --> 00:32:28,200 - [Jonah] Housekeeping! 808 00:32:29,790 --> 00:32:31,310 - [Crow] Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen. 809 00:32:31,340 --> 00:32:32,310 - [Tom] look at 'em go. 810 00:32:32,340 --> 00:32:35,030 [horn honking] - Good evening, gentlemen. 811 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:37,200 - [Tom] Hey, I'm glad you're here. 812 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,270 I was just gonna ask you why you hate us. 813 00:32:40,890 --> 00:32:42,580 - What on Earth are you doing here? 814 00:32:42,620 --> 00:32:43,930 - What on Earth are you two doing, 815 00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:46,200 hopping from one balcony to another? 816 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:47,510 - You saw that, huh? - Oh yes. 817 00:32:47,550 --> 00:32:49,410 I've had my eye on you for quite some time. 818 00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:50,410 - [Jonah] I'm sick as hell. 819 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,060 - Were your ears burning a little while ago? 820 00:32:52,100 --> 00:32:53,650 - My ears are always burning. 821 00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:54,790 It's in the family. 822 00:32:54,820 --> 00:32:55,750 - I'll bet. 823 00:32:55,790 --> 00:32:57,030 - Tell me, you weren't trying to get out 824 00:32:57,060 --> 00:33:00,620 of that hotel without paying your bill, were you? 825 00:33:00,650 --> 00:33:01,890 - No, as a matter of fact, Sir Anthony, 826 00:33:01,930 --> 00:33:03,410 we found a girl in my bed. 827 00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:04,820 - [Anthony] Awkward. 828 00:33:04,860 --> 00:33:05,750 - Dead. 829 00:33:05,790 --> 00:33:06,820 - [Crow] Even better! 830 00:33:07,930 --> 00:33:09,270 - We don't like it one bit. 831 00:33:09,310 --> 00:33:11,480 - I mean, can you think of any explanation 832 00:33:11,510 --> 00:33:13,270 for her being in your bed? 833 00:33:13,310 --> 00:33:15,680 - Well, we think that it's a frame-up. 834 00:33:16,580 --> 00:33:18,820 - I wouldn't be a bit surprised. 835 00:33:18,860 --> 00:33:20,410 - You gotta be kidding. 836 00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:23,510 - I hate to say this, but I think Rome's going to be 837 00:33:23,550 --> 00:33:26,750 a little bit dicey for you just at the moment. 838 00:33:26,790 --> 00:33:27,890 - [Tom] But I'm running for Pope! 839 00:33:27,930 --> 00:33:30,200 - Most of Italy and the rest of Europe at this rate. 840 00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:32,000 - Curious you should say that. 841 00:33:32,030 --> 00:33:34,930 I was thinking of making you an offer. 842 00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:38,170 How would you like a little holiday in the Orient? 843 00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:40,510 - Sir Anthony, what did you have in mind? 844 00:33:40,550 --> 00:33:41,440 - [Jonah] Tokyo Disney. 845 00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:42,860 - This might interest you. 846 00:33:42,890 --> 00:33:47,790 Two diplomatic passports, two air tickets to Hong Kong, 847 00:33:48,370 --> 00:33:50,680 a complete new wardrobe. 848 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:52,170 - [Crow] A jar of Gray Poupon. 849 00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:56,060 - Elegant, expensive suitcases already on the plane. 850 00:33:56,100 --> 00:33:58,030 - [Jonah] Elegant? - Suitcases? 851 00:33:58,060 --> 00:33:58,930 - No. 852 00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:01,370 - No. - Mario, drive to the airport, 853 00:34:01,410 --> 00:34:02,200 would you please? 854 00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:03,680 - No. - No! 855 00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:05,930 - I should go the short way, Mario. 856 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:07,170 - [Crow] End this movie! 857 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,440 - I'll be able to convince you en route. 858 00:34:10,340 --> 00:34:12,370 - [Tom] With these scratch-offs, you see. 859 00:34:15,410 --> 00:34:16,440 - [Jonah] Runway, runway, where's the runway?! 860 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:20,310 [imitating crash sounds] 861 00:34:20,340 --> 00:34:22,480 - [Crow] We have the funnest carpool ever. 862 00:34:24,860 --> 00:34:26,960 - [Jonah] Look at this amazing city, honey. 863 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:28,580 - [Crow] I am leaving you, Harold. 864 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:31,890 - What do you mean me? 865 00:34:31,930 --> 00:34:34,310 It was that phony Englishman Baisbrook! 866 00:34:34,340 --> 00:34:36,620 - What is this, typhoon time in Hong Kong? 867 00:34:36,650 --> 00:34:38,580 - Probably. Where are those luggage tickets? 868 00:34:38,620 --> 00:34:39,440 - You got 'em. 869 00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:40,270 - [Tom] Third base! 870 00:34:40,310 --> 00:34:42,550 - I gave 'em to you on that plane! 871 00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:44,750 - [Jonah] I was tucking my tie in my pants! 872 00:34:46,270 --> 00:34:47,750 - I'll let you know later, Nick. 873 00:34:50,170 --> 00:34:53,060 - [Crow] Do they get a tax cut if they shoot at Chernobyl? 874 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,680 - [Tom] And there goes Frankie. Bye. 875 00:35:03,720 --> 00:35:05,410 - [Jonah] Arby's, and step on it. 876 00:35:09,650 --> 00:35:12,100 - [Crow] Looks like the Big Bad Wold has been by. 877 00:35:14,790 --> 00:35:17,340 - [Tom] Abe Pagoda? I thought he passed. 878 00:35:18,890 --> 00:35:21,310 - [Jonah] I was told there'd be a thigh killing here, 879 00:35:21,340 --> 00:35:22,370 anywhere around here? 880 00:35:24,510 --> 00:35:27,100 - [Crow] I'm here for the neck breaking. Am I early? 881 00:35:28,650 --> 00:35:31,680 - [Tom] Man, my neck feels so brittle and snappable. 882 00:35:36,170 --> 00:35:39,340 - [Jonah] Ah, phooey. Stupid, low-hanging ceremonial blah. 883 00:35:39,370 --> 00:35:41,960 [tense music] 884 00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,240 - [Crow] I'm here for my thigh killing. 885 00:35:46,270 --> 00:35:47,720 - Welcome, Mr. West. 886 00:35:47,750 --> 00:35:48,890 - [Tom] 'Sup? 887 00:35:48,930 --> 00:35:50,790 - Shall we sit down? 888 00:35:50,820 --> 00:35:51,650 - Oh yeah, this. 889 00:35:54,550 --> 00:35:55,960 - [Jonah] Watch it, bub. 890 00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:58,310 - At moments like this, I think it's customary to say- 891 00:35:58,340 --> 00:35:59,620 - Thank you. 892 00:35:59,650 --> 00:36:01,480 I'm glad you find it adequate. 893 00:36:01,510 --> 00:36:03,650 - [Crow] A woman interrupting a man? 894 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:05,890 - Would you mind showing me your profile? 895 00:36:05,930 --> 00:36:07,820 - [Tom] All right, stand back. 896 00:36:07,860 --> 00:36:10,270 - You've brought me here for a screen test. 897 00:36:10,310 --> 00:36:12,510 - Your profile, please. 898 00:36:12,550 --> 00:36:13,370 - Yeah. 899 00:36:16,060 --> 00:36:17,030 - They were right. 900 00:36:17,060 --> 00:36:17,860 - [Jonah] It's horrible. 901 00:36:17,890 --> 00:36:19,550 - It's quite amazing. 902 00:36:19,580 --> 00:36:21,550 You'll do very nicely. 903 00:36:21,580 --> 00:36:25,060 - Well, what will I do very nicely? 904 00:36:25,100 --> 00:36:28,440 - First, I would remind you that you are a wanted man. 905 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:31,370 That limits your ability to negotiate. 906 00:36:31,410 --> 00:36:33,790 The Italian police are convinced you killed a girl. 907 00:36:33,820 --> 00:36:35,000 - [Tom] Sounds like me. 908 00:36:35,030 --> 00:36:36,240 - I'll buy that. 909 00:36:36,270 --> 00:36:37,720 So now tell me what you want. 910 00:36:38,650 --> 00:36:39,890 - You. 911 00:36:39,930 --> 00:36:40,820 - [Crow] Sweet. 912 00:36:40,860 --> 00:36:42,820 - I thought your organization was- 913 00:36:42,860 --> 00:36:44,200 - Exclusively female? 914 00:36:44,240 --> 00:36:47,580 Quite, but we do use many, many men. 915 00:36:47,620 --> 00:36:48,480 - [Jonah] Men, many, many. 916 00:36:48,510 --> 00:36:50,170 - But most of them don't realize it. 917 00:36:51,720 --> 00:36:53,000 - [Tom] Huntress S. Thompson. 918 00:36:53,030 --> 00:36:55,890 - At the moment we need a man for a specific task. 919 00:36:55,930 --> 00:36:57,000 - And if I refuse? 920 00:36:59,240 --> 00:37:01,060 - In far too many ways. 921 00:37:02,820 --> 00:37:03,860 - [Crow] Huh? - Okay lady. 922 00:37:03,890 --> 00:37:05,750 It's your ballgame. 923 00:37:05,790 --> 00:37:06,620 - [Jonah] Touchdown. 924 00:37:06,650 --> 00:37:08,240 - I thought you'd see it my way. 925 00:37:09,270 --> 00:37:11,930 - [Tom] Well, it was that or the highway, so. 926 00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:13,370 - Follow me, please. 927 00:37:15,310 --> 00:37:18,960 - [Crow] Oh, a rarely seen CIA tactic of just going with it. 928 00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,680 - [Jonah] Oh, may I? Oh geez. 929 00:37:24,720 --> 00:37:26,000 - [Tom] That was the door. 930 00:37:26,030 --> 00:37:27,680 - What you are about to see is unique, 931 00:37:27,720 --> 00:37:28,860 historical in fact. 932 00:37:28,890 --> 00:37:30,860 - Am I allowed to know what it is? 933 00:37:30,890 --> 00:37:32,510 - Let's keep it as a surprise. 934 00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:36,410 - [Crow] Erlenmeyer flasks? That is a surprise! 935 00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:38,510 [liquid bubbling] 936 00:37:38,550 --> 00:37:40,310 - [Jonah] All of this is why Diet Dr. Pepper 937 00:37:40,340 --> 00:37:42,100 tastes like regular Dr. Pepper. 938 00:37:45,060 --> 00:37:47,030 - What seems to be the problem with him? 939 00:37:47,060 --> 00:37:48,060 - He's a guinea pig. 940 00:37:48,100 --> 00:37:49,310 - [Tom] Your mom lets you have guinea pigs? 941 00:37:49,340 --> 00:37:50,580 - Guinea pig? 942 00:37:50,620 --> 00:37:52,440 - We need him for experiments. 943 00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:55,410 We work very hard here for the advancement of science, 944 00:37:56,240 --> 00:37:57,240 our science. 945 00:37:57,270 --> 00:37:58,550 - [Crow] Sexy science. 946 00:37:58,580 --> 00:37:59,650 - How did you brainwash him 947 00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:01,620 so he's not yelling his head off? 948 00:38:01,650 --> 00:38:03,170 - [Jonah] It's called manners. 949 00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:04,340 - He feels no pain. 950 00:38:04,370 --> 00:38:07,030 As a matter of fact, he's rather happy. 951 00:38:07,060 --> 00:38:08,030 - [West] Drugged. 952 00:38:08,060 --> 00:38:09,060 - [Tom] In far too many ways. 953 00:38:09,100 --> 00:38:10,550 - So he doesn't even speak. 954 00:38:10,580 --> 00:38:12,000 - When we caught him and brought him here, 955 00:38:12,030 --> 00:38:13,960 we cut out his tongue. 956 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,480 [Crow gagging] 957 00:38:15,510 --> 00:38:17,340 - If I tell you you're sick, 958 00:38:17,370 --> 00:38:18,860 will the same thing happen to me? 959 00:38:18,890 --> 00:38:21,340 - I have other plans for you, Mr. West. 960 00:38:21,370 --> 00:38:23,060 And for those plans, I need your tongue, 961 00:38:23,100 --> 00:38:24,440 your voice and your brains. 962 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:25,510 - [Jonah] For real? 963 00:38:25,550 --> 00:38:26,510 - Well, there are a couple of other parts of me 964 00:38:26,550 --> 00:38:29,340 of which I'm inordinately fond. 965 00:38:29,370 --> 00:38:31,790 - They will remain intact as long as you obey orders. 966 00:38:31,820 --> 00:38:33,550 - Well, good. - Ingrid? 967 00:38:33,580 --> 00:38:36,000 - [Tom] Finally, Ingrid's moment. 968 00:38:36,030 --> 00:38:37,170 - My lady? 969 00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:39,750 - Bring me the cube amortis gun, loaded. 970 00:38:39,790 --> 00:38:40,960 - [Crow] It's in the file cabinet 971 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,720 under C for cube amortis gun. 972 00:38:43,750 --> 00:38:45,550 - He's amazing, my lady. 973 00:38:45,580 --> 00:38:47,890 - [Jonah] And there's enough of me for everyone. 974 00:38:50,410 --> 00:38:51,720 - Thank you, Ingrid. 975 00:38:51,750 --> 00:38:53,170 - What's that thing? 976 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,680 - [Tom] It's for Mommy's headaches. 977 00:38:54,720 --> 00:38:55,510 - The same as the game wardens 978 00:38:55,550 --> 00:38:57,240 used in Africa to stun animals. 979 00:38:57,270 --> 00:38:58,510 - [Crow] And manimals. 980 00:38:58,550 --> 00:39:01,410 - Except that our ammunition is something different. 981 00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:02,860 Follow me, Mr. West. 982 00:39:06,510 --> 00:39:07,370 - [Jonah] Sumuru is planning 983 00:39:07,410 --> 00:39:09,000 a Dance Dance Revolution down there. 984 00:39:11,620 --> 00:39:13,720 - [Tom] Oh my God, what's it counting down to? 985 00:39:16,720 --> 00:39:18,650 - Sumuru, It looks like you're taking in laundry. 986 00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:20,440 No ticky no washy, huh? 987 00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:22,200 - [Crow] Ah, good old casual racism. 988 00:39:22,240 --> 00:39:24,270 I hope that door leads to HR. 989 00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:29,240 - [Jonah] Can I hold the door for you? 990 00:39:29,270 --> 00:39:31,170 Oh, oh, no. Okay, all right. 991 00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:32,170 - [Tom] Avert your eyes 992 00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:35,370 as I introduce you to Dave and/or Buster. 993 00:39:36,510 --> 00:39:38,170 - My lady, the door. 994 00:39:39,410 --> 00:39:42,170 - [Crow] We had our own personal tilt-a-whirl installed. 995 00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:43,030 - My lady. 996 00:39:43,060 --> 00:39:43,930 - [Jonah] Is he dry yet? 997 00:39:48,240 --> 00:39:49,200 - Another guinea pig? 998 00:39:49,240 --> 00:39:50,510 - [Tom] Hell yeah. 999 00:39:50,550 --> 00:39:52,000 - His name is Andrews. 1000 00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:56,580 - [Crow] And your bingo number is G 46. 1001 00:39:56,620 --> 00:39:57,440 - You'll see 1002 00:40:00,060 --> 00:40:01,200 - [Jonah] The Prestige! 1003 00:40:02,130 --> 00:40:05,000 - Listen, whoever you are, get out of here. 1004 00:40:05,030 --> 00:40:08,060 Get out of here while you can! 1005 00:40:08,100 --> 00:40:09,200 She's mad! 1006 00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:10,890 - [Tom] Well, she is now. 1007 00:40:10,930 --> 00:40:12,720 [gun firing] - Sloth-like reflexes. 1008 00:40:16,790 --> 00:40:20,480 - [Jonah] Actiiing! 1009 00:40:20,510 --> 00:40:22,580 - [Tom] Well, at least he's dying with dignity. 1010 00:40:22,620 --> 00:40:23,930 - What's happening to him? 1011 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:25,750 - [Crow] He's Animorphing! 1012 00:40:25,790 --> 00:40:27,510 - He's turning into a statue. 1013 00:40:28,550 --> 00:40:30,930 We call it cube amortis. 1014 00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:32,790 - [Jonah] I call it cool amortis. 1015 00:40:33,750 --> 00:40:36,030 - You are mad. You're out of your mind. 1016 00:40:36,060 --> 00:40:37,820 - [Sumuru] It could be your double. 1017 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,580 [tense music] 1018 00:40:43,270 --> 00:40:44,310 - [Tom] Well, don't ask the director 1019 00:40:44,340 --> 00:40:46,100 to pick a favorite establishing shot, 1020 00:40:46,130 --> 00:40:48,030 he clearly loves all of them equally. 1021 00:40:52,410 --> 00:40:53,480 - [Crow] And then we go to the beach. 1022 00:40:53,510 --> 00:40:54,860 We surf, we sing a song. 1023 00:40:54,890 --> 00:40:57,130 There's no actual bingo in any of 'em. 1024 00:40:57,170 --> 00:40:58,270 - Mister... 1025 00:40:58,310 --> 00:40:59,200 - Carter. - Mr. Carter. 1026 00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:00,410 - Carter. - Carter. 1027 00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,960 - Now, what kind of information are you looking for? 1028 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:04,170 - [Jonah] Just trivia. 1029 00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:07,060 - I'm looking for the owner of a black hardtop Dodge. 1030 00:41:07,100 --> 00:41:09,890 The license plate number is. 1031 00:41:09,930 --> 00:41:11,650 - [Tom] Milk, eggs, flour, butter. 1032 00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:13,270 - 2151. 1033 00:41:14,270 --> 00:41:16,550 - Oh, Sumuru. - No, Dodge. 1034 00:41:16,580 --> 00:41:17,620 - Sumuru? 1035 00:41:17,650 --> 00:41:18,790 - Sumuru. 1036 00:41:18,820 --> 00:41:20,580 - Can you tell me where she lives? 1037 00:41:20,620 --> 00:41:21,750 - Up there. 1038 00:41:21,790 --> 00:41:24,130 The colony consists of 236 islands 1039 00:41:24,170 --> 00:41:25,510 out of Hong Kong itself. 1040 00:41:25,550 --> 00:41:26,650 She owns one. 1041 00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:28,130 - She owns- 1042 00:41:28,170 --> 00:41:29,960 Well, I always say if you gotta own anything, 1043 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:31,550 it might as well be an island. 1044 00:41:31,580 --> 00:41:33,340 - [Crow] Humor is the universal language. 1045 00:41:33,370 --> 00:41:34,550 - Check there. Excuse me. 1046 00:41:34,580 --> 00:41:36,000 I gotta get going. 1047 00:41:36,930 --> 00:41:38,130 - [Jonah] See you in jail. 1048 00:41:40,620 --> 00:41:42,620 - [Sumuru] He is your assignment. 1049 00:41:42,650 --> 00:41:45,370 - Boong? Well, he's President of Sinonesia. 1050 00:41:46,270 --> 00:41:49,310 - Boong's turnover in girls is tastelessly high, 1051 00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:50,890 and he trusts none of them. 1052 00:41:50,930 --> 00:41:54,340 I have literally hundreds of pictures of him like this. 1053 00:41:54,370 --> 00:41:56,580 - [Crow] Wrote haikus to accompany each one. 1054 00:41:57,860 --> 00:41:59,820 - [Jonah] This feels bad. 1055 00:41:59,860 --> 00:42:01,310 - Or this. 1056 00:42:01,340 --> 00:42:03,550 - [Tom] Hey, he's doing a meme. 1057 00:42:03,580 --> 00:42:05,340 - I'll take a dozen of each. 1058 00:42:05,370 --> 00:42:07,750 What is the purpose of this stag reel? 1059 00:42:07,790 --> 00:42:08,720 - [Crow] For fancies. 1060 00:42:08,750 --> 00:42:11,030 - To acquaint you with your new employer. 1061 00:42:11,060 --> 00:42:12,410 - Oh, good, good. 1062 00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:14,720 I'm sure there'll be fringe benefits. 1063 00:42:14,750 --> 00:42:16,060 Let's see the next picture here. 1064 00:42:16,100 --> 00:42:17,960 - [Jonah] Daddy likey. - That isn't necessary. 1065 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,060 They all have a disgusting similarity. 1066 00:42:20,100 --> 00:42:21,000 - Well, you're right. 1067 00:42:21,030 --> 00:42:22,720 They are disgusting. 1068 00:42:22,750 --> 00:42:24,790 - Now for your explanation. 1069 00:42:24,820 --> 00:42:25,750 - [Tom] Infodump incoming. 1070 00:42:25,790 --> 00:42:27,000 - A new member is scheduled to join 1071 00:42:27,030 --> 00:42:29,960 President Boong's staff to fill a vacancy 1072 00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:33,000 that has existed since the death of Colonel Medika. 1073 00:42:33,030 --> 00:42:34,030 - Oh. the man chosen 1074 00:42:34,060 --> 00:42:36,170 as Medika's successor has been picked 1075 00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:38,440 only after the most thorough search. 1076 00:42:39,340 --> 00:42:41,270 - The one you turned into a statue. 1077 00:42:41,310 --> 00:42:42,370 - [Crow] He's now a birdbath. 1078 00:42:42,410 --> 00:42:44,620 - We can't disappoint the President, can we? 1079 00:42:45,620 --> 00:42:47,200 - And I'm to take his place. Is that it? 1080 00:42:47,240 --> 00:42:49,440 - Your passports and documentation 1081 00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:50,960 will be unimpeachable. 1082 00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:53,030 And I'm sure with your own native resource, 1083 00:42:53,060 --> 00:42:54,750 you will fill the post admirably. 1084 00:42:55,720 --> 00:42:58,240 - What's all this leading up to, anyway? 1085 00:42:58,270 --> 00:42:59,930 What do you want out of Boong? 1086 00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:01,030 - [Jonah] A coonskin cap, maybe? 1087 00:43:01,060 --> 00:43:02,480 - You'll learn of that later. 1088 00:43:04,860 --> 00:43:07,580 [doors clanking] 1089 00:43:14,550 --> 00:43:15,580 - Yeah, so a lot of people don't know 1090 00:43:15,620 --> 00:43:17,580 that Brian Cox was Hannibal Lecter first. 1091 00:43:17,620 --> 00:43:19,030 - All right, fellas, quiet down. 1092 00:43:19,060 --> 00:43:20,340 Let's get straight to business. 1093 00:43:20,370 --> 00:43:22,860 You're here because you're the best, the best of the best. 1094 00:43:22,890 --> 00:43:24,720 The top, the Nile, the Tower of Pisa, 1095 00:43:24,750 --> 00:43:26,650 the smile on the Mona Lisa. 1096 00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:29,930 - Thanks, boss. We're ready to get out there and spy it up. 1097 00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:31,580 - Not so fast. 1098 00:43:31,620 --> 00:43:32,960 We're in Sumuru country. 1099 00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:35,240 Spying works a little differently around here. 1100 00:43:35,270 --> 00:43:37,170 There's three things you gotta learn 1101 00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:38,650 so you don't get bikini killed. 1102 00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:40,820 - Bikini killed? That actually sounds kind of- 1103 00:43:40,860 --> 00:43:42,750 - Step number one! - Whoa! 1104 00:43:42,790 --> 00:43:44,130 - Creeping, 1105 00:43:44,170 --> 00:43:46,370 I'm talking hiding behind stuff that's smaller than you, 1106 00:43:46,410 --> 00:43:48,620 looking through windows that ain't yours. 1107 00:43:48,650 --> 00:43:50,310 Just getting in there, generally giving off 1108 00:43:50,340 --> 00:43:52,720 an uncomfortable vibe at work or parties. 1109 00:43:52,750 --> 00:43:54,680 - Wouldn't that make it hard to get intel? 1110 00:43:54,720 --> 00:43:56,510 - Doesn't matter! - Ah! 1111 00:43:56,550 --> 00:43:59,370 - Step two, red flags. 1112 00:43:59,410 --> 00:44:01,720 You will find yourself in dangerous situations. 1113 00:44:01,750 --> 00:44:03,100 A voice inside your head may say, 1114 00:44:03,130 --> 00:44:04,620 "Get outta this dangerous situation." 1115 00:44:04,650 --> 00:44:06,790 You ignore that! - Ah! 1116 00:44:06,820 --> 00:44:08,890 - Stay in that red flag situation, all right? 1117 00:44:08,930 --> 00:44:11,620 Tell that little voice to shove off before Sumuru sees it. 1118 00:44:11,650 --> 00:44:12,820 - Sees a voice? 1119 00:44:12,860 --> 00:44:15,100 - She's got a million eyes, friends. 1120 00:44:15,130 --> 00:44:17,060 Probably some of them can hear too. 1121 00:44:17,100 --> 00:44:19,100 Maybe a few ears snuck in there as well. 1122 00:44:19,130 --> 00:44:21,930 No one noticed because a million, that's a lot of eyes. 1123 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,030 - Man, I hope there's an illustration of that. 1124 00:44:24,060 --> 00:44:25,000 - Ha, I wish. 1125 00:44:25,030 --> 00:44:26,270 All right, step three. 1126 00:44:26,310 --> 00:44:29,030 When in doubt, do whatever anyone tells you to do! 1127 00:44:29,060 --> 00:44:30,620 - That seems dangerous. 1128 00:44:30,650 --> 00:44:32,310 - Yeah, we're in a real go along to get along 1129 00:44:32,340 --> 00:44:33,550 spy organization here. 1130 00:44:33,580 --> 00:44:35,440 Why make waves when you can just grin like a jerk 1131 00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:37,410 and blindly follow the first adult that speaks? 1132 00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:39,370 - Well, sir, what if an enemy agent 1133 00:44:39,410 --> 00:44:41,410 tells us to walk into an obvious trap? 1134 00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:45,340 - You do it, man! You do it! 1135 00:44:45,370 --> 00:44:48,060 - What if we need someone to hit intermission sign? 1136 00:44:48,100 --> 00:44:52,620 - I'm your guy. [grunting] 1137 00:44:52,650 --> 00:44:55,370 ♪ beep bop beep bop beep bop boop ♪ 1138 00:44:55,410 --> 00:44:56,440 - Step four. 1139 00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:58,860 If you need help pressing a button, you can ask. 1140 00:45:01,890 --> 00:45:03,720 this message goes out to a woman of honor. 1141 00:45:03,750 --> 00:45:06,060 Are you reading my signal, Emily Connor? 1142 00:45:06,100 --> 00:45:08,550 - Loud and clear Heston, and just in time. 1143 00:45:08,580 --> 00:45:11,790 I've made a discovery that's quite sublime. 1144 00:45:11,820 --> 00:45:14,480 - And using the cloud, I made a bold choice. 1145 00:45:14,510 --> 00:45:17,720 So I went and I hooked up our friend Magic Voice. 1146 00:45:17,750 --> 00:45:20,750 - [Magic Voice] Movie sign for Jonah Heston in 10 seconds. 1147 00:45:20,790 --> 00:45:22,130 - Great, Joel. 1148 00:45:22,170 --> 00:45:25,030 Now I know these vessels like the back of my hand, 1149 00:45:25,060 --> 00:45:29,060 I might have a way to put us in command. 1150 00:45:29,100 --> 00:45:29,860 - The sooner, the better. 1151 00:45:29,890 --> 00:45:30,720 So what's our deadline? 1152 00:45:30,750 --> 00:45:31,580 - [Magic Voice] This meeting is over. 1153 00:45:31,620 --> 00:45:32,890 You've got movie sign. [alarm blaring] 1154 00:45:32,930 --> 00:45:33,860 - Oh, I've got movie sign! Whoa! 1155 00:45:35,310 --> 00:45:38,060 [doors clanking] 1156 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:47,310 - [Tom] meanwhile at EPCOT. 1157 00:45:49,100 --> 00:45:50,100 - [Jonah] Sorry it's so shabby. 1158 00:45:50,130 --> 00:45:52,060 We recently snapped the painter's neck. 1159 00:45:56,060 --> 00:45:57,310 - [Crow] What knockers! 1160 00:45:57,340 --> 00:46:00,620 - This is Helga. She will be accompanying you to Hong Kong. 1161 00:46:00,650 --> 00:46:03,440 You will both staying in the Hong Kong Hilton. 1162 00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:04,860 Erna? - You're not going. 1163 00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:08,750 - Your papers, Mr. Andrews. 1164 00:46:08,790 --> 00:46:11,310 And you will also find a .38 caliber revolver 1165 00:46:11,340 --> 00:46:12,170 in your briefcase. 1166 00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:13,580 - [Jonah] How do I open it? 1167 00:46:13,620 --> 00:46:15,030 - By the way, you're sure the President 1168 00:46:15,060 --> 00:46:17,410 has never met this Andrews before? 1169 00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:18,650 - Absolutely. 1170 00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:20,890 The only person who can identify the man 1171 00:46:20,930 --> 00:46:22,820 is Boong's ambassador in America. 1172 00:46:22,860 --> 00:46:24,270 - [Crow] I'm sure that won't come up. 1173 00:46:24,310 --> 00:46:26,620 - You will arrange a meeting between this girl 1174 00:46:26,650 --> 00:46:28,750 and Boong as quickly as possible. 1175 00:46:28,790 --> 00:46:30,240 - [Tom] AQAP. - But- 1176 00:46:30,270 --> 00:46:31,680 - As quickly as possible, I said. 1177 00:46:31,720 --> 00:46:33,580 - [Jonah] I said good day! 1178 00:46:33,620 --> 00:46:35,720 - Erna, take them to the jetty. 1179 00:46:36,790 --> 00:46:39,060 - [Crow] It's Jetta and it gets great mileage. 1180 00:46:41,550 --> 00:46:42,820 - [Tom] Oh, nice of Sumuru to get them 1181 00:46:42,860 --> 00:46:44,510 whale watching tickets before the mission. 1182 00:46:44,550 --> 00:46:46,370 - [Jonah] Yeah - that's really nice. 1183 00:46:47,750 --> 00:46:49,620 Hope there's some narwhals out there. 1184 00:46:58,060 --> 00:47:00,550 - [Crow] She's dressed like a two-day-old banana. 1185 00:47:02,720 --> 00:47:05,100 - You are Mr. Carter? 1186 00:47:05,130 --> 00:47:06,480 ♪ Welcome back 1187 00:47:06,510 --> 00:47:08,340 - You're a mind reader. 1188 00:47:08,370 --> 00:47:09,620 Well, if you really are, tell me, 1189 00:47:09,650 --> 00:47:11,030 is it all right for tonight? 1190 00:47:11,060 --> 00:47:11,860 I mean, what I'm thinking. 1191 00:47:11,890 --> 00:47:13,000 - [All] Boo! 1192 00:47:13,030 --> 00:47:14,860 - I have some information for you. 1193 00:47:14,890 --> 00:47:15,820 - Ooh. That's good. 1194 00:47:15,860 --> 00:47:17,100 That's just what I've been looking for. 1195 00:47:17,130 --> 00:47:19,510 Well, maybe you can answer this. What's going on? 1196 00:47:19,550 --> 00:47:20,960 - [Jonah] And why am I dressed like an eclair? 1197 00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:23,030 - I have the answer to this. 1198 00:47:23,060 --> 00:47:24,060 Nick West. 1199 00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:28,130 - Nick? Do you know where Nick is? 1200 00:47:28,170 --> 00:47:30,000 - [Crow] Maybe. 1201 00:47:30,030 --> 00:47:32,270 - I said, you know where Nick is? 1202 00:47:32,310 --> 00:47:33,930 - I know where he is. 1203 00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:35,440 - You don't want me to break your pretty little arm, 1204 00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:36,790 you better talk and quick. 1205 00:47:37,620 --> 00:47:40,030 - We can't talk here. Follow me. 1206 00:47:40,060 --> 00:47:42,960 [tense music] 1207 00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:43,890 - [Tom] Wow, they didn't prepare me 1208 00:47:43,930 --> 00:47:45,720 for this stuff at millionaire school. 1209 00:47:50,410 --> 00:47:51,720 - [Jonah] Aunt Rita has arrived 1210 00:47:51,750 --> 00:47:54,790 and she's ready for that all-you-can-eat shrimp! 1211 00:47:57,200 --> 00:47:59,200 ♪ Sitting in the back, sun roof top ♪ 1212 00:47:59,240 --> 00:48:04,240 ♪ Takin' in the scene with the gangsta lean ♪ 1213 00:48:05,170 --> 00:48:06,550 - You must help me. 1214 00:48:06,580 --> 00:48:09,030 - Help you? I don't understand. 1215 00:48:09,060 --> 00:48:11,030 - Sumuru is holding Nick West prisoner. 1216 00:48:11,060 --> 00:48:13,370 I'm frightened she'll kill me. 1217 00:48:13,410 --> 00:48:15,100 - Now don't get yourself upset. 1218 00:48:15,130 --> 00:48:16,410 - She sent me to kill you. 1219 00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:17,440 - [All] Do it! 1220 00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,200 - You must help me get to the police, please. 1221 00:48:20,240 --> 00:48:21,340 - [Carter] Now now, don't get yourself upset. 1222 00:48:21,370 --> 00:48:23,960 - [Crow] She's pickpocketing herself? 1223 00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,060 [woman screaming] 1224 00:48:25,100 --> 00:48:27,480 - [Jonah] Yes, I am Frankie Avalon. Oh, a knife, 1225 00:48:27,510 --> 00:48:30,060 [tense music] 1226 00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:32,750 - [Crow] At least they sent someone 1227 00:48:32,790 --> 00:48:34,680 his own size to pick on him. 1228 00:48:34,720 --> 00:48:37,200 [tense music] 1229 00:48:38,510 --> 00:48:41,440 - [Tom] I'm finally gonna get my teen idol murdering badge. 1230 00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:45,000 - [Jonah] You win this time, kitten heel. 1231 00:48:45,860 --> 00:48:47,200 - [Crow] So call you later? 1232 00:48:49,890 --> 00:48:52,170 - [Tom] Uh, Nick, that's a Fisher Price phone. 1233 00:48:54,100 --> 00:48:54,930 - Yes, please. 1234 00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:57,930 I'd like double-506 double- 97. 1235 00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:00,510 - [Crow] That's too many cheeseburgers, sir. 1236 00:49:00,550 --> 00:49:01,960 - What do you mean bingo? 1237 00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:03,790 - [Jonah] Script punch up by my dad. 1238 00:49:04,860 --> 00:49:05,720 - I'd like to speak to 1239 00:49:05,750 --> 00:49:07,930 President Boong's personal aide, please. 1240 00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:09,860 - [Tom] Tell him it's his best friend 1241 00:49:09,890 --> 00:49:11,240 from third grade on the line. 1242 00:49:12,170 --> 00:49:14,200 - I think the president is expecting me. 1243 00:49:14,240 --> 00:49:16,580 My name is Andrews, Sidney Andrews. 1244 00:49:16,620 --> 00:49:19,130 - [Crow] And yes, I'm one of the Andrews Sisters. 1245 00:49:19,170 --> 00:49:21,170 - In about an hour? Good. 1246 00:49:22,170 --> 00:49:23,030 No, thank you. 1247 00:49:23,720 --> 00:49:24,790 Goodbye. 1248 00:49:24,820 --> 00:49:27,060 - [Jonah] Great practice. Next time, I'll dial. 1249 00:49:28,890 --> 00:49:29,820 - [Tom] Oh, the Hong Kong Hilton 1250 00:49:29,860 --> 00:49:31,930 really enforces their salad bar policy. 1251 00:49:33,130 --> 00:49:34,480 - My name is Sidney Andrews. 1252 00:49:34,510 --> 00:49:36,200 President Boong is expecting me. 1253 00:49:36,240 --> 00:49:38,240 - I have been advised. Your passport, please. 1254 00:49:38,270 --> 00:49:39,310 - [Crow] Okay, and here's a picture 1255 00:49:39,340 --> 00:49:40,930 of me with Frankie Avalon. 1256 00:49:44,580 --> 00:49:47,270 - [Jonah] I'm sorry, sir. This is a Pizza Hut coupon. 1257 00:49:47,310 --> 00:49:49,930 [tense music] 1258 00:49:51,750 --> 00:49:54,060 - [Tom] I like your hair better this way. 1259 00:49:54,100 --> 00:49:55,170 - [Crow] Slapstick! 1260 00:49:56,170 --> 00:49:57,890 - There is your pass. You go down there. 1261 00:49:57,930 --> 00:49:58,750 - Thank you. 1262 00:49:59,790 --> 00:50:01,100 [tense music] 1263 00:50:01,130 --> 00:50:03,960 - [Jonah] So I guess I'm looking for room 237? 1264 00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:09,240 - [Tom] Why are those guys guarding the ice machine? 1265 00:50:10,340 --> 00:50:14,000 - [Crow] Suite 102, 103. Ah, here we are. 1266 00:50:14,030 --> 00:50:16,130 The one with all the security. 1267 00:50:17,060 --> 00:50:18,270 - [Tom] Wakanda forever. 1268 00:50:21,750 --> 00:50:23,270 - [Jonah] I won the door prize. 1269 00:50:24,410 --> 00:50:25,240 Let me through. 1270 00:50:26,650 --> 00:50:28,890 - [Crow] "This is a stickup." What the hell? 1271 00:50:29,820 --> 00:50:31,030 - [Jonah] Sorry, wrong note. 1272 00:50:31,060 --> 00:50:32,620 - Follow me, please. 1273 00:50:32,650 --> 00:50:34,480 - [Tom] But please don't look at my butt. 1274 00:50:36,750 --> 00:50:39,480 - [Crow] I hate when the New Yorkers start stacking up. 1275 00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:41,370 - [Jonah] I suppose you're all wondering 1276 00:50:41,410 --> 00:50:43,440 why I called this pillow conference. 1277 00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:44,310 Well. 1278 00:50:47,270 --> 00:50:49,100 - [Tom] "Business Juggs Monthly?" 1279 00:50:50,270 --> 00:50:53,100 [dramatic music] 1280 00:50:55,060 --> 00:50:55,860 - [Crow] Okay, I don't think you're supposed 1281 00:50:55,890 --> 00:50:57,480 to open the door between rooms. 1282 00:51:00,170 --> 00:51:02,270 - [Jonah] Just stay still. He won't see me. 1283 00:51:05,510 --> 00:51:07,440 - [Tom] Whoa, I gotta get him to sign this. 1284 00:51:09,240 --> 00:51:10,680 - Hi friend, have a drink. 1285 00:51:10,720 --> 00:51:12,750 - [Crow] I've got Rumple Minz. 1286 00:51:12,790 --> 00:51:14,650 - [West] Oops, there go my Sundays. 1287 00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:16,060 - Like some champagne? 1288 00:51:17,060 --> 00:51:19,440 Well, my ambassador in Washington 1289 00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:21,960 gave you a very highest recommendation. 1290 00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:22,750 - [Jonah] Abbondanza! 1291 00:51:22,790 --> 00:51:23,720 - How was the flight? 1292 00:51:23,750 --> 00:51:26,480 - Uh, okay. When do you want me to start? 1293 00:51:26,510 --> 00:51:27,720 - Oh, as soon as you can. 1294 00:51:27,750 --> 00:51:31,100 you know, I've done 99% of this filthy goodwill tour 1295 00:51:31,130 --> 00:51:33,030 without a security chief. 1296 00:51:33,060 --> 00:51:35,440 Did you hear about Medika? 1297 00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:39,680 - Yes. He got his in Rome, didn't he? 1298 00:51:40,650 --> 00:51:42,030 - [Tom] May I spill you some? 1299 00:51:42,060 --> 00:51:43,750 - You know Rome? 1300 00:51:43,790 --> 00:51:46,240 That's where I got it many times. 1301 00:51:46,270 --> 00:51:49,100 - [Crow] Kinski is so off script right now. 1302 00:51:49,130 --> 00:51:49,960 - Yes? 1303 00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:50,790 - [Jonah] Innuendo police. 1304 00:51:50,820 --> 00:51:51,820 - Excuse me. 1305 00:51:52,790 --> 00:51:54,820 Of course, get a taxi. 1306 00:51:54,860 --> 00:51:56,240 What's the name again? 1307 00:51:56,270 --> 00:51:57,170 - [Tom] Werner Herzog. 1308 00:51:57,200 --> 00:51:58,170 - Hang on a minute. 1309 00:51:59,270 --> 00:52:01,030 - [Crow] Here's a bit I got from Victor Buono. 1310 00:52:01,060 --> 00:52:02,340 - See you at three. 1311 00:52:02,370 --> 00:52:05,130 I mean a meeting at 3:30. Thanks, goodbye. 1312 00:52:06,370 --> 00:52:07,620 - [Jonah] Here you go. Some champagne. 1313 00:52:07,650 --> 00:52:09,960 If you want more, I have to get the shop vac. 1314 00:52:13,790 --> 00:52:15,650 - Well, I'm trying to devise 1315 00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:18,480 some sort of scheme for examining girls. 1316 00:52:18,510 --> 00:52:21,000 Men too, of course, before an interview. 1317 00:52:21,030 --> 00:52:22,720 - [Tom] I call it the resume. 1318 00:52:22,750 --> 00:52:26,310 - All those pills are, I mean, 1319 00:52:26,340 --> 00:52:28,030 they can conceal the most dangerous. 1320 00:52:28,060 --> 00:52:31,720 - That reminds me, I met a girl this afternoon. 1321 00:52:31,750 --> 00:52:33,030 - Yes, of course you did. 1322 00:52:33,060 --> 00:52:34,240 - A lovely, lovely girl. 1323 00:52:34,270 --> 00:52:36,270 She's a great admirer of yours. 1324 00:52:36,310 --> 00:52:37,510 - Of mine? 1325 00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:41,440 Is she student of political philosophy? 1326 00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:43,720 - [Crow] He's got five o'clock face. 1327 00:52:43,750 --> 00:52:44,550 - No, no, no. 1328 00:52:44,580 --> 00:52:47,240 She's just a sweet young girl 1329 00:52:47,270 --> 00:52:51,000 with all the dreams and hopes and fears, 1330 00:52:51,030 --> 00:52:54,130 desires of any vital healthy creature 1331 00:52:54,170 --> 00:52:57,170 trembling on the brink of womanhood. 1332 00:52:57,200 --> 00:52:58,030 - [All] Ewww! 1333 00:52:58,060 --> 00:52:59,650 - Living here in the hotel. 1334 00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:03,680 - Very lovely, you say? 1335 00:53:03,720 --> 00:53:05,240 - Ravishing. 1336 00:53:05,270 --> 00:53:06,510 - My dear, dear friend. 1337 00:53:06,550 --> 00:53:07,680 - [Jonah] You're fired. 1338 00:53:07,720 --> 00:53:09,720 - I've planned a small reception. 1339 00:53:09,750 --> 00:53:10,650 - [Tom] Right now! 1340 00:53:13,100 --> 00:53:14,620 - [Crow] In an embarrassing scheduling error, 1341 00:53:14,650 --> 00:53:15,890 the same start time was given 1342 00:53:15,930 --> 00:53:18,340 to all three rhythmic gymnastic finalists. 1343 00:53:18,370 --> 00:53:21,240 [lively music] 1344 00:53:21,270 --> 00:53:22,440 - [Jonah] They're having such a hard time 1345 00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:24,340 hanging those welcoming banners. 1346 00:53:24,370 --> 00:53:27,370 [lively music] 1347 00:53:27,410 --> 00:53:29,310 - [Tom] I could have been in Shen Yun. 1348 00:53:29,340 --> 00:53:31,960 [lively music] 1349 00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:35,370 - Mr. West? - Yes. 1350 00:53:35,410 --> 00:53:37,100 - I have a message from. 1351 00:53:37,130 --> 00:53:38,130 - [Jonah] Don't forget your alias 1352 00:53:38,170 --> 00:53:40,170 is Mr. Andrews, not Mr. West. 1353 00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:42,170 - Okay Cinderella, here you go. 1354 00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:44,170 A summons to the Royal Presence. 1355 00:53:44,200 --> 00:53:45,340 - [Tom] You've been served. 1356 00:53:45,370 --> 00:53:47,170 - They don't call him royal in here, do they? 1357 00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:49,720 - No, they don't, and you're just about to find out why. 1358 00:53:49,750 --> 00:53:52,000 - Will you come along with me, please? 1359 00:53:52,030 --> 00:53:55,170 - [Crow] Wearing a wedding dress on a first date? Red flag! 1360 00:53:56,340 --> 00:53:58,860 - [Jonah] Please let us stop, it's been four days! 1361 00:54:01,550 --> 00:54:03,580 - [Tom] I was promised a junior suite. 1362 00:54:05,930 --> 00:54:07,820 - Well, what's new at the Dracula factory? 1363 00:54:07,860 --> 00:54:09,000 - [Crow] Bleh! 1364 00:54:09,030 --> 00:54:11,410 - Did you arrange a meeting between Helga and Boong? 1365 00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:13,240 - It's all done. They met. 1366 00:54:13,270 --> 00:54:15,550 She goes back to see him tomorrow afternoon. 1367 00:54:15,580 --> 00:54:17,790 He's actually looking forward to it. 1368 00:54:17,820 --> 00:54:19,860 - [[Jonah] I just wanna... 1369 00:54:19,890 --> 00:54:23,030 - You will come to the island. My lady wishes to see you. 1370 00:54:23,060 --> 00:54:24,620 - Now? 1371 00:54:24,650 --> 00:54:26,310 - Tomorrow morning, nine o'clock. 1372 00:54:26,340 --> 00:54:27,860 Mercer's Wharf. - Well, why? 1373 00:54:27,890 --> 00:54:29,790 - [Tom] Cornhole competition. 1374 00:54:29,820 --> 00:54:32,060 - You'll do as you're instructed. 1375 00:54:32,100 --> 00:54:33,440 - [Crow] And dress to move. 1376 00:54:35,240 --> 00:54:36,860 - [Jonah] Junk, junk everywhere. 1377 00:54:40,720 --> 00:54:42,480 - [Tom] A lot of Vikings died today. 1378 00:54:47,100 --> 00:54:49,550 - [Crow] Keep painting till they look like shoes. 1379 00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:54,000 - [Jonah] So where do you keep your knife? 1380 00:54:55,750 --> 00:54:56,930 - [Tom] Frankie Avalon's hair comes 1381 00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:58,890 courtesy of Build-A-Bear Workshop. 1382 00:55:00,370 --> 00:55:02,030 - [Crow] Hong Kong. Come for the leering. 1383 00:55:02,060 --> 00:55:04,240 Stay for the ogling. 1384 00:55:04,270 --> 00:55:06,620 - [Jonah] Hey ladies, the name is Rick Shaw. 1385 00:55:07,620 --> 00:55:08,440 - Nick. 1386 00:55:09,860 --> 00:55:11,890 - [Tom] Yeah. Remember when these two were friends? 1387 00:55:11,930 --> 00:55:12,750 - Nick! 1388 00:55:14,060 --> 00:55:16,930 - [Crow] Will our hero lose a foot race to children? 1389 00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:20,510 - Well, Ollie, another fine mess you've gotten us into. 1390 00:55:20,550 --> 00:55:21,550 Where have you been? 1391 00:55:21,580 --> 00:55:22,820 You know I've been looking all over for you. 1392 00:55:22,860 --> 00:55:25,100 - I can't explain that to you now, where are you staying? 1393 00:55:25,130 --> 00:55:27,270 - Staying? You mean hiding? 1394 00:55:27,310 --> 00:55:29,270 How come everyone hates you and tries to kill me? 1395 00:55:29,310 --> 00:55:30,410 - What are you talking about? 1396 00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:31,410 - [Jonah] Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. 1397 00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:33,510 - Nice Innocent type girl, family type girl. 1398 00:55:33,550 --> 00:55:35,550 I mention your name, and she tries to stick a knife in me. 1399 00:55:35,580 --> 00:55:36,580 - [Jonah] Gimme gimme gimme. 1400 00:55:36,620 --> 00:55:37,820 - That'll teach you to pick up strange women. 1401 00:55:37,860 --> 00:55:39,240 - Ha ha, very funny. 1402 00:55:39,270 --> 00:55:40,440 - Listen, where are you staying? 1403 00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:41,820 Now don't be ashamed of being poor 1404 00:55:41,860 --> 00:55:43,580 and having practically no money at all. 1405 00:55:43,620 --> 00:55:44,750 Tell me. 1406 00:55:44,790 --> 00:55:46,650 - [Tom] Hell yeah, you gotta get in there. 1407 00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:48,820 - It's a very highly recommended place. 1408 00:55:48,860 --> 00:55:50,440 It's probably one of the nicest. 1409 00:55:51,410 --> 00:55:54,100 - [Crow] Mary Poppins away! 1410 00:55:55,100 --> 00:55:56,000 - Nick! 1411 00:55:56,030 --> 00:55:57,820 - [Jonah] Oh, now it's gettin' zany. 1412 00:55:59,930 --> 00:56:00,820 - [Tom] The wind resistance 1413 00:56:00,860 --> 00:56:02,720 from that umbrella is not helping. 1414 00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,170 - [Crow] To the Dracula factory and step on it. 1415 00:56:08,270 --> 00:56:10,480 - [Jonah] Now let's go rip off Ricky Nelson. 1416 00:56:13,030 --> 00:56:15,100 - [Tom] Finally, the water! This counts as a beach. 1417 00:56:15,130 --> 00:56:17,060 I can feel myself growing stronger! 1418 00:56:17,100 --> 00:56:18,100 - Nick! 1419 00:56:18,130 --> 00:56:19,030 - [Jonah] I hate goodbyes. 1420 00:56:19,060 --> 00:56:21,480 There's a letter on the nightstand. 1421 00:56:21,510 --> 00:56:22,340 - Hey. 1422 00:56:23,510 --> 00:56:26,000 You, follow that car. 1423 00:56:26,030 --> 00:56:28,060 - Ah, you in wrong picture. 1424 00:56:28,100 --> 00:56:29,550 - Aw, cut the jokes. - I'll say. 1425 00:56:29,580 --> 00:56:31,030 - Ah, no. 1426 00:56:31,060 --> 00:56:32,790 Too many fishing booths get lost 1427 00:56:32,820 --> 00:56:35,480 in the water around Sumuru's island. 1428 00:56:35,510 --> 00:56:37,480 - How's this sound? 50 bucks. 1429 00:56:37,510 --> 00:56:39,440 - [Tom] And a handful of Jolly Ranches, huh? 1430 00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:40,440 - 80? 100? 1431 00:56:41,960 --> 00:56:43,510 - [Jonah] Warmer. 1432 00:56:43,550 --> 00:56:44,370 - 159. 1433 00:56:45,240 --> 00:56:46,550 - 120. 1434 00:56:46,580 --> 00:56:47,410 - 180. 1435 00:56:48,410 --> 00:56:49,240 - 200. 1436 00:56:50,340 --> 00:56:51,580 - 110. 1437 00:56:51,620 --> 00:56:52,650 - [Crow] Hubba wha? 1438 00:56:52,680 --> 00:56:53,510 - Here you are. 1439 00:56:57,620 --> 00:57:00,100 - [Tom] Wow, shoulda just bought my own crap boat. 1440 00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:04,930 - [Jonah] You have to pay extra 1441 00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:06,440 for an aisle or a window seat. 1442 00:57:14,060 --> 00:57:14,890 - [Tom] Are they reusing footage 1443 00:57:14,930 --> 00:57:16,310 or am I just having deja vu? 1444 00:57:19,790 --> 00:57:22,060 - [Jonah] Why won't they let the cameraman off the boat? 1445 00:57:26,310 --> 00:57:28,550 - [Crow] George Hamilton, ma'am. 1446 00:57:28,580 --> 00:57:30,440 - You sent for me. 1447 00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:32,890 - [Tom] The new fall line from Pepto Bismol. 1448 00:57:34,170 --> 00:57:35,370 - Oh, well, here we are. 1449 00:57:35,410 --> 00:57:36,960 Out of cigarettes 1450 00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:39,170 What seems to be your problem of the day, milady? 1451 00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:40,340 - [Jonah] Gingivitis. 1452 00:57:40,370 --> 00:57:43,200 - I've set up a world that exists without men, Nick. 1453 00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:44,240 - Well, good for you. 1454 00:57:44,270 --> 00:57:46,620 What about those long, lonely winter nights? 1455 00:57:46,650 --> 00:57:49,650 - It is a joke to you, but even for a woman 1456 00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:51,890 of strong and a self-sufficient desire. 1457 00:57:51,930 --> 00:57:53,240 - [Crow] You are repulsive. 1458 00:57:53,270 --> 00:57:54,440 - There are lonely nights. 1459 00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:56,000 - Running around turning men to stone 1460 00:57:56,030 --> 00:57:58,240 is hardly conducive to romance, Sumuru. 1461 00:57:58,270 --> 00:58:01,580 It tends to make a man nervous. 1462 00:58:01,620 --> 00:58:03,130 - [Tom] Maybe it's your coffee. 1463 00:58:04,370 --> 00:58:08,790 [Jonah making muffled speech noises] 1464 00:58:10,310 --> 00:58:12,550 - Does that inspire romance, Nick? 1465 00:58:12,580 --> 00:58:14,270 - It's a darn sight better and faster 1466 00:58:14,310 --> 00:58:16,170 than your cube amortis gun. 1467 00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:18,580 - [Crow] Are we set on that name? 1468 00:58:18,620 --> 00:58:22,060 - I need a man to take me, to force himself upon me. 1469 00:58:22,100 --> 00:58:22,960 - Well, I'm a very polite guy. 1470 00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:24,270 I never force myself on anyone. 1471 00:58:24,310 --> 00:58:25,100 - [Tom] Good answer. 1472 00:58:25,130 --> 00:58:27,030 - I'm a woman, Nick. - Yes. 1473 00:58:27,060 --> 00:58:28,100 - Look at me. 1474 00:58:28,130 --> 00:58:29,510 Whatever else I am. 1475 00:58:29,550 --> 00:58:31,860 - [Jonah] Part reptile? - I am a woman. 1476 00:58:31,890 --> 00:58:33,200 - Oh yes. Yes. 1477 00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:35,550 Well now I may very well hate myself for this 1478 00:58:35,580 --> 00:58:36,930 in the morning, but. 1479 00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:38,340 - [Crow] You're not the only one, Nick. 1480 00:58:38,370 --> 00:58:39,550 - Oh, why not? 1481 00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:42,030 - [Tom] Ooh, statue likey. 1482 00:58:45,130 --> 00:58:46,440 - [Jonah] Nice day for it. 1483 00:58:50,060 --> 00:58:51,860 - [Crow] Wow, they're both taking advantage 1484 00:58:51,890 --> 00:58:53,240 of the outdoor boat toilets. 1485 00:58:53,270 --> 00:58:55,340 They don't seem embarrassed in the least. 1486 00:58:59,310 --> 00:59:00,170 - [Tom] Oh, I get it. 1487 00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:01,030 They're just gonna circle them 1488 00:59:01,060 --> 00:59:02,620 until they start a Whirlpool 1489 00:59:02,650 --> 00:59:03,480 Vicious. 1490 00:59:05,440 --> 00:59:07,410 - [Jonah] Annette says hello. 1491 00:59:07,440 --> 00:59:08,960 [boat exploding] 1492 00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,620 - [Crow] Hey, it looks like they just elected a new pope. 1493 00:59:12,680 --> 00:59:15,340 [all coughing] 1494 00:59:18,720 --> 00:59:20,440 - [Tom] We now return to "Legally Blonde," 1495 00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:22,000 already in progress. 1496 00:59:23,310 --> 00:59:26,100 - I have an appointment with the president. 1497 00:59:26,130 --> 00:59:27,860 - Oh yes. Your name, please? 1498 00:59:27,890 --> 00:59:29,030 - Helga Martin. 1499 00:59:29,060 --> 00:59:30,240 - Helga Martin. 1500 00:59:30,270 --> 00:59:31,370 - [Jonah] Hmm. Okay, let's see. 1501 00:59:31,410 --> 00:59:32,650 Dean Martin, Steve Martin, 1502 00:59:32,680 --> 00:59:33,650 Mary Martin, Quinn Martin, 1503 00:59:33,680 --> 00:59:36,100 Martin Short, Martin Lawrence, Dr. Marten. 1504 00:59:36,130 --> 00:59:38,310 Sorry, I don't see you here. 1505 00:59:38,340 --> 00:59:39,960 - Here we are. Helga Martin. 1506 00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:42,440 - [Crow] Wow. The tension was unbearable. 1507 00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:44,680 - This is the pass. Go that way, please. 1508 00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:45,550 - Thank you. 1509 00:59:50,060 --> 00:59:52,270 - [Tom] What the Helga? 1510 00:59:52,310 --> 00:59:53,860 Make it like the Pink Panther theme, 1511 00:59:53,890 --> 00:59:55,650 but change every other note. 1512 01:00:00,480 --> 01:00:03,200 - [Jonah] Okay, you get chips and soda. No refills. 1513 01:00:05,370 --> 01:00:06,200 - Follow me. 1514 01:00:07,060 --> 01:00:08,200 - [Tom] See you later. boys. 1515 01:00:08,240 --> 01:00:09,720 Keep that carpet safe. 1516 01:00:11,620 --> 01:00:12,930 - [Crow] It's a David Lee Roth puppet 1517 01:00:12,960 --> 01:00:15,000 that wished he was a real live boy. 1518 01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:17,130 - [Jonah] Oh no, Klaus. Kinski. 1519 01:00:17,170 --> 01:00:18,480 I didn't sign up for this! 1520 01:00:20,340 --> 01:00:21,370 - President Boong. 1521 01:00:24,030 --> 01:00:27,060 - [Crow] Say hello to my novelty pen! 1522 01:00:29,370 --> 01:00:31,100 - Oh, I can't do it. 1523 01:00:31,130 --> 01:00:32,340 - Guard! 1524 01:00:32,370 --> 01:00:35,790 [dramatic music] 1525 01:00:35,820 --> 01:00:38,100 - [Tom] Sumuru's got a deep bench. 1526 01:00:39,550 --> 01:00:41,820 - [Jonah] Executive bathroom guard to the rescue! 1527 01:00:43,130 --> 01:00:45,480 - [Crow] Step, spin, lean and drop. 1528 01:00:47,890 --> 01:00:50,370 - Oh, but it's a, it's a girl. 1529 01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:53,370 - [All] Congratulations! 1530 01:00:53,410 --> 01:00:54,310 - [Tom] Wakanda forever. 1531 01:00:54,340 --> 01:00:55,820 - He fellas, what's the matter? It's me. 1532 01:00:55,860 --> 01:00:57,370 - [All] We know! 1533 01:00:57,410 --> 01:00:58,580 - Well, what's happened? 1534 01:00:58,620 --> 01:01:00,580 - President Boong has been killed. 1535 01:01:00,620 --> 01:01:03,310 - [Tom] President Boong has been killed, 1536 01:01:03,340 --> 01:01:06,580 President Boong has been killed, 'scuze me guys. 1537 01:01:09,930 --> 01:01:11,060 - What happened? 1538 01:01:11,100 --> 01:01:13,030 - She killed Boong. 1539 01:01:13,060 --> 01:01:15,130 - [Jonah] Boong? 1540 01:01:15,170 --> 01:01:16,790 - Did I hear my name? 1541 01:01:16,820 --> 01:01:17,890 - President Boong? 1542 01:01:18,890 --> 01:01:20,310 - The real one. 1543 01:01:20,340 --> 01:01:21,130 - [Jonah] Katt Williams? 1544 01:01:21,170 --> 01:01:22,030 - The man you see over there 1545 01:01:22,060 --> 01:01:23,720 was enough like me to fool anyone 1546 01:01:23,750 --> 01:01:25,410 and particularly an assassin. 1547 01:01:25,440 --> 01:01:28,340 Well, where will I find another? 1548 01:01:28,370 --> 01:01:30,200 There are times when it's convenient to have a double. 1549 01:01:30,240 --> 01:01:31,200 [Crow imitates pained groaning] 1550 01:01:31,240 --> 01:01:32,750 - Oh yes. I know. 1551 01:01:32,790 --> 01:01:36,310 - Oh, it's a terrible thing to happen. Terrible. 1552 01:01:36,340 --> 01:01:38,030 - [Tom] Well, inconvenient at least. 1553 01:01:38,060 --> 01:01:40,030 - This young lady, was she implicated 1554 01:01:40,060 --> 01:01:41,680 in the plot? - Yes. 1555 01:01:41,720 --> 01:01:44,170 - [Jonah] I want him to close his shirt just a button more. 1556 01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:46,170 - You brought her here. - Huh? 1557 01:01:46,200 --> 01:01:47,030 - What have you in mind about hee? 1558 01:01:47,060 --> 01:01:48,650 - [Tom] Watch that cigarette. 1559 01:01:48,680 --> 01:01:50,310 - I'm gonna take her to the police headquarters, 1560 01:01:50,340 --> 01:01:51,200 of course, right away. 1561 01:01:51,240 --> 01:01:52,620 - Yes, of course. Where are you going? 1562 01:01:52,650 --> 01:01:53,440 - [Jonah] Police headquarters. 1563 01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:54,270 - The police station. 1564 01:01:54,310 --> 01:01:55,820 - And you're leaving me alone? 1565 01:01:55,860 --> 01:01:57,000 - I won't be long, okay? 1566 01:01:57,030 --> 01:01:58,960 I'll be back as soon as I can, but in the meantime, 1567 01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:00,510 ask yourself, - Hmmm? 1568 01:02:00,550 --> 01:02:03,100 - How did that girl manage to join and serve 1569 01:02:03,130 --> 01:02:05,750 with your own personal bodyguard, huh? 1570 01:02:05,790 --> 01:02:06,820 - [Crow] Yeah. - I mean, 1571 01:02:06,860 --> 01:02:09,620 with all of them living together, soldiers too. 1572 01:02:09,650 --> 01:02:12,790 You can't tell me that nobody else was in on the deal. 1573 01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:14,960 Come on. 1574 01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:16,960 - [Crow] What is the deal with his makeup? 1575 01:02:21,240 --> 01:02:22,100 - [Jonah] What are you up to now? 1576 01:02:22,130 --> 01:02:23,440 You wanna catch a movie or something? 1577 01:02:28,650 --> 01:02:29,790 - [Tom] Cool, they let Frankie Avalon 1578 01:02:29,820 --> 01:02:31,310 hold the camera for this shot. 1579 01:02:38,370 --> 01:02:39,790 - [Crow] Third floor, dead guys. 1580 01:02:39,820 --> 01:02:43,200 Statuary, doubles, cube amortis guns. 1581 01:02:43,240 --> 01:02:44,720 - I'm getting out. 1582 01:02:44,750 --> 01:02:46,550 - I'd wait till the elevator stopped, if I were you. 1583 01:02:46,580 --> 01:02:47,440 - [Jonah] Hey-o! 1584 01:02:47,480 --> 01:02:49,890 - No. I mean out of the organization. 1585 01:02:49,930 --> 01:02:51,310 - Well now, that's the first sensible thing 1586 01:02:51,340 --> 01:02:52,480 you've said in a long time. 1587 01:02:52,510 --> 01:02:53,270 - [Tom] And the only thing. 1588 01:02:53,310 --> 01:02:54,170 - If you really mean it, 1589 01:02:54,200 --> 01:02:56,270 you oughta get out of this hotel too. 1590 01:02:56,310 --> 01:02:57,370 I know a place. 1591 01:02:57,410 --> 01:02:58,820 I don't know how good it is, 1592 01:02:58,860 --> 01:03:00,130 a buddy of mine's staying there. 1593 01:03:00,170 --> 01:03:02,240 The Bristol and Pagoda Pension. 1594 01:03:02,270 --> 01:03:04,440 His name's Tommy Carter. He's okay. 1595 01:03:05,310 --> 01:03:06,550 - [Crow] He will hit on you though. 1596 01:03:06,580 --> 01:03:08,720 - [Tom] Oh yeah. Horn dog, big one. 1597 01:03:08,750 --> 01:03:11,580 [doors clanking] 1598 01:03:17,960 --> 01:03:20,240 And I was like, this country uses the metric system 1599 01:03:20,270 --> 01:03:22,480 and that's why the Fruit by the Foot doesn't sell. 1600 01:03:22,510 --> 01:03:23,750 - Okay, bad news, guys. 1601 01:03:23,790 --> 01:03:25,750 An ion storm is about to blow through, 1602 01:03:25,790 --> 01:03:27,270 so you know what trouble they can be. 1603 01:03:27,310 --> 01:03:28,720 Gonna need to shield your CPUs 1604 01:03:28,750 --> 01:03:31,130 to keep you from getting robot ion madness. 1605 01:03:31,170 --> 01:03:32,890 - Jonah. - Yeah, no, I know Tom. 1606 01:03:32,930 --> 01:03:35,410 Nobody wants to think they'll go on a robot rampage, 1607 01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:37,030 but it's not your fault, guys. 1608 01:03:37,060 --> 01:03:37,930 It's the ions. 1609 01:03:37,960 --> 01:03:39,060 We'll get through this together. 1610 01:03:39,100 --> 01:03:40,620 - Jonah! - Yeah, yeah, yeah? 1611 01:03:40,650 --> 01:03:43,270 - Why are you wearing a wig? 1612 01:03:43,310 --> 01:03:44,550 - Wearing a, wearing a wig? 1613 01:03:44,580 --> 01:03:45,860 What? Tom, what are you talking about? 1614 01:03:45,890 --> 01:03:48,240 - The wig you're literally wearing right now. 1615 01:03:48,270 --> 01:03:49,270 - Jonah, come on. 1616 01:03:49,310 --> 01:03:52,060 You're dressed in a Cher wig. We can all see you. 1617 01:03:52,100 --> 01:03:54,310 - Oh man. That ion store must be hot on our heels. 1618 01:03:54,340 --> 01:03:56,060 You guys are talking loopy already. 1619 01:03:56,100 --> 01:03:57,820 Oh, okay. Sorry, I think we're gonna 1620 01:03:57,860 --> 01:03:59,410 have to separate you guys to secluded areas 1621 01:03:59,440 --> 01:04:01,410 before the madness gets too intense. 1622 01:04:01,440 --> 01:04:03,270 - Ah, it's happening? Not again! 1623 01:04:03,310 --> 01:04:04,200 - I know, it's gonna get nuts. 1624 01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:06,030 GPC has already prepared a bunker for me 1625 01:04:06,060 --> 01:04:07,200 with provisions in the back 40 1626 01:04:07,240 --> 01:04:09,620 in case you two break out of your containment cells. 1627 01:04:09,650 --> 01:04:11,550 - Don't let me flip out again, Jonah! 1628 01:04:11,580 --> 01:04:15,100 I do things and I can't deal with the grief! 1629 01:04:15,130 --> 01:04:17,750 [bots yelling] 1630 01:04:19,440 --> 01:04:20,410 - Hey, hey, guys, look. 1631 01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:23,440 I am wearing a wig. I'm not, it's joke. 1632 01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:25,410 There's no ion storm. I'm wearing a wig. 1633 01:04:25,440 --> 01:04:27,130 Oh God, settle down. 1634 01:04:27,170 --> 01:04:28,750 You know, I gotta have my fun too. 1635 01:04:28,790 --> 01:04:31,100 - Really? You gotta have fun? 1636 01:04:31,130 --> 01:04:32,100 I think you're a dick. 1637 01:04:32,130 --> 01:04:33,480 - What? - Me too. 1638 01:04:33,510 --> 01:04:35,510 I'm leaving. I've had it. 1639 01:04:35,550 --> 01:04:36,790 - Hey, come on- - I've had it! 1640 01:04:36,820 --> 01:04:39,860 - Cher wig? Fake alarm, clipboard? 1641 01:04:39,890 --> 01:04:41,960 Ion storm? I mean, I thought it was pretty good. 1642 01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:44,580 - [chuckling] Yeah, it was pretty good. 1643 01:04:44,620 --> 01:04:45,720 I'm gonna get you pretty good! 1644 01:04:45,750 --> 01:04:46,930 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1645 01:04:46,960 --> 01:04:49,200 - You better sleep with one eye open tonight. Heston. 1646 01:04:49,240 --> 01:04:52,550 There is a storm coming and it's Hurricane Crow! 1647 01:04:54,060 --> 01:04:55,790 - As far as goofs go. I thought that would've gone better. 1648 01:04:55,820 --> 01:04:58,790 [alarm blaring] Oh, now we got movie sign. 1649 01:04:58,820 --> 01:04:59,650 Oh, let's go! 1650 01:05:00,890 --> 01:05:03,650 [doors clanging] 1651 01:05:11,550 --> 01:05:13,030 Oh, these Double Trees are the best, 1652 01:05:13,060 --> 01:05:15,620 and they give us the warm cookies and everything. 1653 01:05:16,510 --> 01:05:18,060 - Can I get you a drink? 1654 01:05:18,100 --> 01:05:20,170 - [Tom] I just had floor champagne. 1655 01:05:20,200 --> 01:05:22,170 - So what are you gonna do? 1656 01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:23,130 - What do you mean? 1657 01:05:23,170 --> 01:05:24,440 - I mean, you're leaving the organization, 1658 01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:25,270 so what are you gonna do now? 1659 01:05:25,310 --> 01:05:26,650 Are you going to the police? 1660 01:05:26,680 --> 01:05:27,550 - [Crow] Sting's helpful. 1661 01:05:27,580 --> 01:05:29,240 - Well, I hadn't thought about that. 1662 01:05:29,270 --> 01:05:30,310 - Well, sweetie, I suggest 1663 01:05:30,340 --> 01:05:31,960 you start thinking about it right now 1664 01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:33,370 because after what's just happened, 1665 01:05:33,410 --> 01:05:35,860 you've only got a couple of choices. 1666 01:05:35,890 --> 01:05:37,440 You can go back to Sumuru and tell her 1667 01:05:37,480 --> 01:05:38,750 that you killed the double 1668 01:05:38,790 --> 01:05:41,130 and the girl got in there somehow, 1669 01:05:41,170 --> 01:05:43,890 or you can run away from the organization 1670 01:05:43,930 --> 01:05:46,310 and spend the rest of your life trying to hide from them. 1671 01:05:46,340 --> 01:05:48,930 Or you can go to the police and tell them, 1672 01:05:48,960 --> 01:05:50,680 and I mean everything. 1673 01:05:50,720 --> 01:05:52,030 - [Tom] Start with the Big Bang. 1674 01:05:52,060 --> 01:05:54,000 - It isn't easy. 1675 01:05:54,030 --> 01:05:55,200 - Isn't easy? 1676 01:05:55,240 --> 01:05:56,480 Well, at least you're a free agent. 1677 01:05:56,510 --> 01:05:58,060 You've got some choice. 1678 01:05:58,100 --> 01:06:00,790 I spend 24 hours a day on a tightrope. 1679 01:06:00,820 --> 01:06:01,820 - [Crow] I'm a Wallenda. - on the one hand, 1680 01:06:01,860 --> 01:06:04,340 I've got to try and keep Sumuru happy. 1681 01:06:04,370 --> 01:06:05,440 On the other hand, I've got to 1682 01:06:05,480 --> 01:06:07,510 try to keep her from achieving anything. 1683 01:06:07,550 --> 01:06:09,820 That tightrope is gonna split me right down the middle. 1684 01:06:09,860 --> 01:06:11,650 I'm gonna end up as crazy as she is. 1685 01:06:13,720 --> 01:06:14,510 - [Jonah] Hey, sorry. 1686 01:06:14,550 --> 01:06:15,860 We knocked like five times. 1687 01:06:17,270 --> 01:06:19,270 - [Crow] Ugh. It's a RA. 1688 01:06:21,100 --> 01:06:22,130 - Get up. 1689 01:06:22,170 --> 01:06:24,310 ♪ Get on up 1690 01:06:24,340 --> 01:06:25,790 - [All] Agh! 1691 01:06:25,820 --> 01:06:27,170 - You've ruined everything. 1692 01:06:28,310 --> 01:06:30,170 But you will both pay dearly for this. 1693 01:06:30,200 --> 01:06:31,030 - [Jonah] Huh? 1694 01:06:32,550 --> 01:06:35,060 - Erna, are his clothes packed? 1695 01:06:35,100 --> 01:06:36,410 - Yes, my lady. 1696 01:06:36,440 --> 01:06:38,890 - Oh dear, I hope you were careful with that blue suit. 1697 01:06:38,930 --> 01:06:40,720 It creases so. 1698 01:06:40,750 --> 01:06:41,680 - [Crow] Burn the suit. 1699 01:06:41,720 --> 01:06:43,370 - And take care of his bill. 1700 01:06:43,410 --> 01:06:44,340 - Yes, I wouldn't like to have 1701 01:06:44,370 --> 01:06:47,000 an unpaid hotel bill on my conscience. 1702 01:06:47,030 --> 01:06:49,060 - Keep joking, Mr. West. - Please don't. 1703 01:06:49,100 --> 01:06:51,240 - You will be finished with jokes before the night is out. 1704 01:06:51,270 --> 01:06:52,440 - [All] Us too! 1705 01:06:53,510 --> 01:06:55,270 - I was beginning to run out of material, anyway. 1706 01:06:55,310 --> 01:06:56,510 - [All] Agreed. 1707 01:06:56,550 --> 01:06:57,750 - Take care of the bill. 1708 01:06:57,790 --> 01:07:00,340 - [Tom] Use the American Express, I want the points. 1709 01:07:05,440 --> 01:07:06,310 - [Jonah] That's right, ladies. 1710 01:07:06,340 --> 01:07:08,440 Suck it in for old Susan Muru. 1711 01:07:10,650 --> 01:07:12,200 - [Crow] Hey, okay if we stop by the gift shop 1712 01:07:12,240 --> 01:07:14,930 and buy one of those mini license plate that says Sumuru? 1713 01:07:14,960 --> 01:07:16,580 they usually don't have those. 1714 01:07:18,030 --> 01:07:20,270 - [Tom] Okay, sorry. I'm lost. 1715 01:07:20,310 --> 01:07:22,890 [tense music] 1716 01:07:26,440 --> 01:07:27,480 - [Jonah] Everyone just act natural. 1717 01:07:27,510 --> 01:07:28,750 If anyone asks, the toiled in the room 1718 01:07:28,790 --> 01:07:30,680 was like that when we got there, okay? 1719 01:07:34,480 --> 01:07:35,680 - [Crow] We're all going to Claire's, 1720 01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:38,890 getting our ears pierced and then we're gonna murder you. 1721 01:07:38,930 --> 01:07:41,750 - [Tom] Love. It's what makes sum a Sumuru a Sumuru. 1722 01:07:44,340 --> 01:07:46,200 - [Jonah] Say, is this Corinthian leather? 1723 01:07:46,240 --> 01:07:48,200 It's really, see ya! 1724 01:07:48,240 --> 01:07:49,750 - [Crow] Sorry, I'm in the shot. 1725 01:07:55,550 --> 01:07:56,340 - [Jonah] Sumuru, what do we do? 1726 01:07:56,370 --> 01:07:57,310 She's moving somehow. 1727 01:07:58,550 --> 01:08:00,100 - [Tom] The rich schadenfreude. 1728 01:08:01,890 --> 01:08:04,820 - Mr. Carter, please. 1729 01:08:04,860 --> 01:08:05,720 Mr. Carter. 1730 01:08:05,750 --> 01:08:06,960 - [Jonah] No, I heard you. 1731 01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:09,580 I just think it's a bad idea to room with Frankie Avalon. 1732 01:08:12,030 --> 01:08:15,310 - [Crow] Perhaps this Thomas Jefferson will jog your memory. 1733 01:08:16,440 --> 01:08:17,820 - Number 16. 1734 01:08:17,860 --> 01:08:19,310 - -Thank you. 1735 01:08:19,340 --> 01:08:21,000 - [Tom] Take a left through the looking glass. 1736 01:08:21,030 --> 01:08:21,860 Can't miss him. 1737 01:08:25,930 --> 01:08:27,340 - [Jonah] Now let's play, what's a door 1738 01:08:27,370 --> 01:08:28,480 and what's a painting? 1739 01:08:31,440 --> 01:08:32,310 - [Crow] This just looks like 1740 01:08:32,340 --> 01:08:34,200 where the bathrooms at PF Chang's are. 1741 01:08:36,310 --> 01:08:40,030 - [Tom] Take your time, Helga. Soak in the decor. 1742 01:08:40,060 --> 01:08:42,310 - [Jonah] We paid for these Tao Te Ching posters 1743 01:08:42,340 --> 01:08:43,960 and now we're gonna use 'em. 1744 01:08:44,960 --> 01:08:46,930 [knocking on door] 1745 01:08:46,960 --> 01:08:50,030 - [Crow] But I'm not supposed to be on set for two hours. 1746 01:08:50,060 --> 01:08:52,510 - [Tom] You're interrupting Frankie's torso time! 1747 01:08:55,480 --> 01:08:57,480 - [Jonah] You know, the Gideons just leave Bibles. 1748 01:09:03,720 --> 01:09:04,860 - [Tom] Land shark. 1749 01:09:08,270 --> 01:09:10,100 - Please. - Put on a shirt. 1750 01:09:10,130 --> 01:09:11,030 - Well, I remember you. 1751 01:09:11,060 --> 01:09:13,200 You're the girl from Rome at the villa. 1752 01:09:13,240 --> 01:09:15,370 Your organization has already tried to kill me. Thanks. 1753 01:09:15,410 --> 01:09:17,030 - Oh, but you've got to help me. 1754 01:09:17,060 --> 01:09:18,750 I've been on the run half the night. 1755 01:09:18,790 --> 01:09:21,200 ♪ And party every half day 1756 01:09:21,240 --> 01:09:22,510 - I think you better keep on running. 1757 01:09:22,550 --> 01:09:25,440 - Oh, but Nick, Nick, I've got a message from Nick. 1758 01:09:25,480 --> 01:09:26,240 - Nick? 1759 01:09:26,270 --> 01:09:27,170 - Yes. 1760 01:09:27,200 --> 01:09:28,240 - [Crow] He said to give you a wedgie 1761 01:09:28,270 --> 01:09:30,130 and then mark your belief in Catholicism. 1762 01:09:30,170 --> 01:09:31,000 - What? 1763 01:09:34,060 --> 01:09:36,060 - [Tom] Pop quiz, whose breasts are funnier? 1764 01:09:36,100 --> 01:09:38,240 - All right, now what about Nick? 1765 01:09:38,270 --> 01:09:40,750 - Well, Nick told me you're his friend. 1766 01:09:40,790 --> 01:09:42,960 - I know that. What about the message? 1767 01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:43,930 - [Jonah] The one about your wedgie? 1768 01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:45,480 - Is that gun necessary? 1769 01:09:45,510 --> 01:09:47,000 - I think so. 1770 01:09:47,030 --> 01:09:49,030 The last time I listened to a girl who claimed 1771 01:09:49,060 --> 01:09:49,890 to have a message from Nick, 1772 01:09:49,930 --> 01:09:51,620 she tried to stick a knife in me. 1773 01:09:51,650 --> 01:09:52,550 - [Crow] That was Meg. 1774 01:09:52,580 --> 01:09:54,480 - I haven't got any concealed weapons. 1775 01:09:55,890 --> 01:09:57,000 Search it. 1776 01:09:57,030 --> 01:09:59,370 - [Tom] Sift through the anthrax if you'd like. 1777 01:10:00,750 --> 01:10:03,370 - [Jonah] Oh, not like that. [exasperated sighing] 1778 01:10:03,410 --> 01:10:05,370 - That doesn't prove anything. 1779 01:10:05,410 --> 01:10:07,820 - Well, where else could I- 1780 01:10:07,860 --> 01:10:09,750 - [All] Oh boy... - Ew. 1781 01:10:13,100 --> 01:10:15,860 - [Crow] I'm doing my "It Happened One Might" routine. 1782 01:10:15,890 --> 01:10:16,750 Deal with it. 1783 01:10:17,860 --> 01:10:19,310 - [Tom] Now I don't know where to shoot. 1784 01:10:19,340 --> 01:10:21,580 She could be anywhere back there. 1785 01:10:21,620 --> 01:10:22,890 Frankie mad. 1786 01:10:24,890 --> 01:10:26,580 - [Jonah] She doesn't sound naked. 1787 01:10:28,550 --> 01:10:31,340 - [Crow] I don't get it. Why aren't I making out right now? 1788 01:10:31,370 --> 01:10:35,240 I'm Frankie Avalon. Is the universe playing a joke on me? 1789 01:10:35,270 --> 01:10:37,930 - I wonder if this is where I'm supposed to sing. 1790 01:10:37,960 --> 01:10:39,860 - [Tom] What? He's riffing himself! 1791 01:10:41,410 --> 01:10:44,930 - [Jonah] Hey, could you point that somewhere else, Frankie? 1792 01:10:44,960 --> 01:10:46,480 Thank you. 1793 01:10:46,510 --> 01:10:47,720 - [Crow] Sham-Wow! 1794 01:10:48,790 --> 01:10:51,750 - Well. What'd you have in mind? 1795 01:10:51,790 --> 01:10:56,270 - Well, to prove to you that I have no concealed weapons. 1796 01:10:57,820 --> 01:11:01,240 - [Tom] It's about damn time. I'm Frankie Avalon. 1797 01:11:01,270 --> 01:11:03,240 - [Jonah] Bang! - Golly, you're right. 1798 01:11:04,370 --> 01:11:06,000 - [Crow] Hmm, I wonder who I am. 1799 01:11:11,960 --> 01:11:13,440 - [Tom] Okay, if there are any kids watching, 1800 01:11:13,480 --> 01:11:14,960 it's past all your bedtimes. 1801 01:11:17,340 --> 01:11:19,580 [whip cracking] 1802 01:11:19,620 --> 01:11:23,440 - [Jonah] It's good to see her smiling again. 1803 01:11:24,480 --> 01:11:26,130 - [Crow] I am so proud of you. 1804 01:11:29,240 --> 01:11:32,000 - [Jonah] Yes, please. May I have another? 1805 01:11:32,890 --> 01:11:34,370 - This is a privilege, oh leader of the world, 1806 01:11:34,410 --> 01:11:36,750 to be on the receiving end of your generosity. 1807 01:11:36,790 --> 01:11:37,960 - [Tom] Gross. 1808 01:11:38,000 --> 01:11:39,680 - I was saving it up. 1809 01:11:39,720 --> 01:11:41,720 Saving it up until you were ready for it. 1810 01:11:41,750 --> 01:11:43,100 - [Jonah] 50 Shades of Blech. 1811 01:11:43,130 --> 01:11:44,000 - I am now, huh? 1812 01:11:45,440 --> 01:11:48,550 - Oh yes. Like a ripe apple on a tree. 1813 01:11:48,580 --> 01:11:49,790 - [Crow] That's tempting. 1814 01:11:49,820 --> 01:11:51,790 - The only thing is, how? 1815 01:11:51,820 --> 01:11:53,310 - [West] What do you mean how? 1816 01:11:53,340 --> 01:11:54,930 - The method. 1817 01:11:54,960 --> 01:11:56,550 It could be something of Ingrid's. 1818 01:11:56,580 --> 01:11:59,030 She has assets, electrical equipment, 1819 01:11:59,060 --> 01:12:00,440 and all kinds of bacilli. 1820 01:12:00,480 --> 01:12:01,340 - [Tom] She's kind of a hoarder. 1821 01:12:01,370 --> 01:12:03,440 - Or there are ancient traditional arts 1822 01:12:03,480 --> 01:12:05,960 known in these parts that have been used 1823 01:12:06,000 --> 01:12:08,370 for centuries with unfailing success. 1824 01:12:08,410 --> 01:12:09,960 - [Jonah] Calligraphy. 1825 01:12:10,000 --> 01:12:12,750 - Make a man suffer so that he aches for death. 1826 01:12:14,650 --> 01:12:16,860 - Why don't you just keep talking 1827 01:12:16,890 --> 01:12:18,890 and you'll save yourself a lot of trouble. 1828 01:12:18,930 --> 01:12:20,370 You'll bore me to death. 1829 01:12:21,270 --> 01:12:24,200 Oh! [all cheering] 1830 01:12:29,410 --> 01:12:31,410 [Crow] Beach Blanket Ba-oooga! 1831 01:12:31,440 --> 01:12:33,860 [soft music] 1832 01:12:36,820 --> 01:12:38,200 - Helga. 1833 01:12:38,240 --> 01:12:40,200 - [Tom] I want eggs over easy. 1834 01:12:40,240 --> 01:12:41,480 - No, don't worry. 1835 01:12:41,510 --> 01:12:42,410 You're with me. 1836 01:12:42,440 --> 01:12:44,000 [Jonah] In my sister's trundle bed. 1837 01:12:44,930 --> 01:12:45,860 - Is it time? 1838 01:12:45,890 --> 01:12:48,000 - [Crow] Time is a flat circle, all right. 1839 01:12:48,030 --> 01:12:49,620 - I think we better get started. 1840 01:12:51,790 --> 01:12:53,480 - Oh, I'm so worried. 1841 01:12:53,510 --> 01:12:55,410 - Don't worry. I told you everything's gonna be all right. 1842 01:12:55,440 --> 01:12:57,310 - [Tom] I'm Frankie Avalon, baby. 1843 01:12:58,620 --> 01:12:59,410 - [Jonah] Get a room, you two- 1844 01:12:59,440 --> 01:13:01,030 Oh wait, you are in a room. Sorry. 1845 01:13:01,060 --> 01:13:02,580 Doesn't make sense. 1846 01:13:02,620 --> 01:13:04,270 - Mind if I borrow you towel? 1847 01:13:04,310 --> 01:13:06,030 - [Crow] To hide my shame? - Okay. 1848 01:13:08,550 --> 01:13:09,620 - [Tom] Mwah. 1849 01:13:11,030 --> 01:13:13,680 - [Jonah] Reinforcements are sent to Jellystone Park. 1850 01:13:15,860 --> 01:13:18,580 - [Crow] If you need socks that high, just wear pants. 1851 01:13:20,860 --> 01:13:23,960 - The fisheries protection vessel is going to follow us in. 1852 01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:25,000 - What's that? 1853 01:13:25,030 --> 01:13:26,170 - [Jonah] Water. - machine guns. 1854 01:13:26,200 --> 01:13:28,240 They will give us cover if necessary 1855 01:13:28,270 --> 01:13:29,960 during the actual landing. 1856 01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:32,750 - Ah, well now you're using your head, Inspector. 1857 01:13:32,790 --> 01:13:33,580 Or your gun, 1858 01:13:33,620 --> 01:13:35,030 - But is it enough? 1859 01:13:35,060 --> 01:13:38,820 Sumuru's got an army of trained and dedicated killers. 1860 01:13:38,860 --> 01:13:40,680 - [Jonah] How are you living, my dudes? 1861 01:13:40,720 --> 01:13:42,890 - Do you mind if I join you? 1862 01:13:42,930 --> 01:13:44,580 - Sir Anthony. - Good morning, Carter. 1863 01:13:44,620 --> 01:13:46,340 - Good morning. 1864 01:13:46,370 --> 01:13:48,170 - [Anthony] You in charge here, inspector? 1865 01:13:48,200 --> 01:13:49,030 - Yes. 1866 01:13:49,060 --> 01:13:50,370 - These should introduce me. 1867 01:13:50,410 --> 01:13:53,310 And there's my local security clearance as well. 1868 01:13:53,340 --> 01:13:54,240 - [Jonah] I stink. 1869 01:13:54,270 --> 01:13:55,620 - Sir Anthony, what are you doing here? 1870 01:13:55,650 --> 01:13:56,930 Well, not that I'm not glad to see you. 1871 01:13:56,960 --> 01:13:58,550 - Oh, it's nice to hear that, I'll tell you. 1872 01:13:58,580 --> 01:14:00,750 Our much-maligned intelligence know, of course, 1873 01:14:00,790 --> 01:14:02,650 of my interest in your escapades, 1874 01:14:02,680 --> 01:14:05,030 so these issued me with the D44- 1875 01:14:05,060 --> 01:14:06,820 - [Crow] Nobody is that British. 1876 01:14:06,860 --> 01:14:09,890 - Pardon me gentlemen, while I examine these documents. 1877 01:14:09,930 --> 01:14:11,340 - Yeah, certainly, certainly. 1878 01:14:11,370 --> 01:14:13,030 Got some news for you. You're doing fine. 1879 01:14:13,060 --> 01:14:14,130 London's very pleased with you. 1880 01:14:14,170 --> 01:14:15,130 - [Tom] Huh? 1881 01:14:15,170 --> 01:14:16,410 - You know, it's been dreadfully awkward, 1882 01:14:16,440 --> 01:14:18,370 trying to keep up this terrible American accent, you know? 1883 01:14:18,410 --> 01:14:20,240 - They tell me you do it very well. 1884 01:14:20,270 --> 01:14:22,370 Have a word with you later in private. 1885 01:14:22,410 --> 01:14:23,410 - [Jonah] Wha? 1886 01:14:23,440 --> 01:14:26,170 - This is certainly the highest authorization. 1887 01:14:26,200 --> 01:14:27,440 Perhaps you would- 1888 01:14:27,480 --> 01:14:29,340 - Oh no, my dear inspector, you carry on. 1889 01:14:29,370 --> 01:14:31,200 I'm merely holding a watching brief. 1890 01:14:31,240 --> 01:14:33,130 The FO are bound to want a full report.. 1891 01:14:33,170 --> 01:14:34,100 - [Tom] And keep calm. 1892 01:14:34,130 --> 01:14:37,000 - Foreign office, you know. Shall we go? 1893 01:14:37,030 --> 01:14:37,820 - [Jonah] Wow, he sounds like 1894 01:14:37,860 --> 01:14:39,270 a slowed down Katherine Hepburn. 1895 01:14:40,820 --> 01:14:43,820 - [Crow] Tally ho, jolly good, Fred Basset, 1896 01:14:43,860 --> 01:14:47,170 Doctor Who save the queen, what's all this then, 1897 01:14:47,200 --> 01:14:50,130 chim chiree falls mainly on the plain, 1898 01:14:50,170 --> 01:14:52,790 are you being served tea and crumpets, 1899 01:14:52,820 --> 01:14:55,410 only fools and horses by Jove, 1900 01:14:55,440 --> 01:14:57,060 stiff upper lip and all that rot, 1901 01:14:57,100 --> 01:14:59,130 the game is afoot and mind the gap! 1902 01:15:00,750 --> 01:15:01,580 - [Tom] Handsy. 1903 01:15:04,480 --> 01:15:05,620 - [Jonah] I want front. 1904 01:15:07,820 --> 01:15:09,060 - [Crow] Eric von Zipper? 1905 01:15:13,860 --> 01:15:16,410 - [GPC] Oh thanks, I locked myself in again. I mean. 1906 01:15:19,310 --> 01:15:21,000 - [GPC] Have you tried Secret, Mr. West? 1907 01:15:21,030 --> 01:15:23,310 Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman. 1908 01:15:25,720 --> 01:15:26,820 - Poor Mr. West? 1909 01:15:26,860 --> 01:15:28,240 - [Crow] [snorting] What, huh? 1910 01:15:28,270 --> 01:15:30,100 - Before you are disposed of, 1911 01:15:30,130 --> 01:15:32,130 I'm going to convince you of something. 1912 01:15:32,170 --> 01:15:34,310 - [Tom] Hot dogs are sandwiches. 1913 01:15:34,340 --> 01:15:36,620 - You think I'm all cruelty. 1914 01:15:36,650 --> 01:15:38,370 You don't know the dreams I have 1915 01:15:38,410 --> 01:15:40,720 of a beautiful and peaceful world. 1916 01:15:41,860 --> 01:15:42,890 - [Jonah] Like the one we're at my mom's house, 1917 01:15:42,930 --> 01:15:44,480 but it's also like, not my mom's house. 1918 01:15:44,510 --> 01:15:46,680 Also I thought for sure your sister was there 1919 01:15:46,720 --> 01:15:51,680 and grandma was still- [imitating muffled speech] 1920 01:15:52,030 --> 01:15:54,340 - [Crow] Hey, just under the Hayes Code limit. 1921 01:15:57,200 --> 01:15:59,100 - You see? I can be kind. 1922 01:16:00,480 --> 01:16:01,550 - [GPC] Of a jerk. 1923 01:16:01,580 --> 01:16:03,820 - Honey. I had better than that in high school. 1924 01:16:03,860 --> 01:16:05,890 - [GPC] And I was homeschooled. 1925 01:16:05,930 --> 01:16:06,790 - Oh! 1926 01:16:06,820 --> 01:16:07,820 - [Crow] It's okay. I deserve that. 1927 01:16:11,720 --> 01:16:13,820 - Cut him down and kill him. 1928 01:16:13,860 --> 01:16:16,680 [dramatic music] 1929 01:16:19,410 --> 01:16:23,580 - [Tom] Uh, I believe she said cut him down first. 1930 01:16:23,620 --> 01:16:26,170 - [Jonah] You're wearing that to your own execution? 1931 01:16:29,340 --> 01:16:32,130 - [Crow] Uh, can someone let me out of the fitting room? 1932 01:16:35,170 --> 01:16:36,060 - [Tom] Missed me! 1933 01:16:37,060 --> 01:16:38,310 Missed again. 1934 01:16:38,340 --> 01:16:39,270 You're bad at this! 1935 01:16:44,030 --> 01:16:46,030 - [Jonah] Guys, please don't all stand on one side. 1936 01:16:46,060 --> 01:16:47,410 We're listing starboard. 1937 01:16:50,170 --> 01:16:51,030 - [Crow] All these policemen 1938 01:16:51,060 --> 01:16:52,890 are three days away from retirement. 1939 01:16:54,890 --> 01:16:57,620 [Jonah growling] 1940 01:17:03,930 --> 01:17:05,480 - [Tom] Oh boy, it's my turn on the big gun. 1941 01:17:05,510 --> 01:17:08,340 Look how bad guys, here comes Danny. Pew pew pew! 1942 01:17:08,370 --> 01:17:10,100 I'm the super destroyer. Take it all. 1943 01:17:10,130 --> 01:17:12,100 Take it. Danny wins it all! 1944 01:17:13,310 --> 01:17:16,620 - [Crow] Aww, the baby boats are approaching to suckle. 1945 01:17:16,650 --> 01:17:18,510 - [All] Mama, mama, mama! 1946 01:17:18,550 --> 01:17:20,000 Feed me, feed me! 1947 01:17:24,170 --> 01:17:25,170 - [Jonah] I want them to all just 1948 01:17:25,200 --> 01:17:27,410 keep getting into smaller and smaller boats. 1949 01:17:29,720 --> 01:17:31,860 ♪ There's nothing like a dame 1950 01:17:31,890 --> 01:17:35,370 ♪ Nothing in the world 1951 01:17:35,410 --> 01:17:36,750 - [Tom] There's a million rays of sunshine 1952 01:17:36,790 --> 01:17:38,720 for this year's Sumuru regatta. 1953 01:17:38,750 --> 01:17:39,750 And they're off! 1954 01:17:40,680 --> 01:17:43,200 - [Jonah] Oh, that guy's gonna shoot out their tires. 1955 01:17:47,270 --> 01:17:49,240 - [Tom] Oh, hush everyone, they're on the air. 1956 01:17:51,620 --> 01:17:53,170 - [Crow] Maybe if I turn the lights off, 1957 01:17:53,200 --> 01:17:54,680 they'll think we're not home. 1958 01:17:56,480 --> 01:17:58,860 - [Jonah] Eww, it's all wet and slippery and stuff. 1959 01:18:00,580 --> 01:18:03,060 - [Tom] Could we have maybe parked a little closer? 1960 01:18:05,620 --> 01:18:10,620 - [Crow] Oh no, my underpants. - Ew, eww. It's in my shoes. 1961 01:18:13,310 --> 01:18:14,720 - [Jonah] Seal Team Soggy. 1962 01:18:15,890 --> 01:18:17,130 - [Tom] Places, everyone! 1963 01:18:23,060 --> 01:18:25,890 [dramatic music] 1964 01:18:27,650 --> 01:18:29,030 - [Jonah] All right, who took the time 1965 01:18:29,060 --> 01:18:32,000 to dry and press all those guys' shorts? 1966 01:18:32,030 --> 01:18:32,890 - [Crow] Good fun. 1967 01:18:34,890 --> 01:18:37,720 - [Tom] Where can I set up my beach umbrella? 1968 01:18:37,750 --> 01:18:41,030 [tense music] 1969 01:18:41,060 --> 01:18:42,510 - [Crow] Disney's live-action "Mulan" 1970 01:18:42,550 --> 01:18:45,060 is super different from the original. 1971 01:18:45,100 --> 01:18:47,270 - [Crow] That fortress is made out of cake. Mmm! 1972 01:18:49,960 --> 01:18:52,930 - [Tom] Meanwhile, the barley harvest was a success. 1973 01:18:55,030 --> 01:18:55,930 - [Crow] Oh shoot, I thought that was 1974 01:18:55,960 --> 01:18:57,200 for the garbage disposal. 1975 01:19:00,410 --> 01:19:02,130 - [Jonah] Oh, that beach came outta nowhere. 1976 01:19:04,060 --> 01:19:05,960 - [Tom] What's this do? 1977 01:19:06,000 --> 01:19:06,860 [bomb exploding] 1978 01:19:06,890 --> 01:19:08,790 - [Crow] Serpentine! Serpentine! 1979 01:19:11,440 --> 01:19:12,270 - [Jonah] Oh, he's gonna be 1980 01:19:12,310 --> 01:19:13,680 finding sand in that gun for weeks. 1981 01:19:15,200 --> 01:19:17,680 [dramatic music] 1982 01:19:17,720 --> 01:19:18,680 [bomb exploding] 1983 01:19:18,720 --> 01:19:20,650 - [Tom] Oh look, Frankie sent in his double. 1984 01:19:22,240 --> 01:19:24,790 [guns firing] 1985 01:19:28,000 --> 01:19:28,790 - [Crow] He should be more nervous. 1986 01:19:28,820 --> 01:19:30,000 He's literally a red shirt. 1987 01:19:32,060 --> 01:19:34,580 - [Jonah] Binoculars are a telescope? 1988 01:19:34,620 --> 01:19:37,130 [tense music] 1989 01:19:37,170 --> 01:19:39,650 [guns firing] 1990 01:19:39,680 --> 01:19:42,890 - [Tom] No one can defeat me on a beach! Frankie, go! 1991 01:19:47,060 --> 01:19:49,310 - [Crow] pew, bang, pew, pew, pew. 1992 01:19:49,340 --> 01:19:51,200 Bang, gotcha! Bang! 1993 01:19:51,240 --> 01:19:53,960 - [Jonah] Tell my family I died for nothing! 1994 01:19:54,000 --> 01:19:56,480 [guns firing] 1995 01:19:59,370 --> 01:20:01,370 - [Tom] Fine, but don't use all my data. 1996 01:20:03,000 --> 01:20:05,340 - [Crow] Look, a gun. Let's raise hell! 1997 01:20:06,650 --> 01:20:08,130 - [Jonah] So what are you wearing? 1998 01:20:09,750 --> 01:20:11,480 - [Tom] Locked and loaded. 1999 01:20:11,510 --> 01:20:12,820 [guns firing] 2000 01:20:12,860 --> 01:20:14,960 [bomb exploding] 2001 01:20:15,000 --> 01:20:18,130 - [Crow] I'll take credit for that kill. Ha ha. 2002 01:20:18,170 --> 01:20:21,060 - [Jonah] Was the lady army a bad idea? Be honest with me. 2003 01:20:23,000 --> 01:20:24,200 - What are we going to do? 2004 01:20:24,240 --> 01:20:27,310 - You know your orders, defend as long as possible. 2005 01:20:27,340 --> 01:20:28,130 [gun firing] 2006 01:20:28,170 --> 01:20:29,410 - [Tom] Ow! What did I do? 2007 01:20:31,860 --> 01:20:32,930 - [Jonah] Yeah, I've been drinking. 2008 01:20:32,960 --> 01:20:35,750 So what, it my birthday! Ooh. 2009 01:20:35,790 --> 01:20:36,790 - [Crow] Cannonball! 2010 01:20:38,550 --> 01:20:41,240 - [Tom] Told you you couldn't do "Risky Business," Darrell. 2011 01:20:42,270 --> 01:20:43,720 [gun firing] 2012 01:20:43,750 --> 01:20:46,200 - [Jonah] Say hello to my little girlfriend. 2013 01:20:48,060 --> 01:20:49,580 - [Crow] Oh look, he's touring Hoover Dam. 2014 01:20:49,620 --> 01:20:51,860 It's an engineering marvel. 2015 01:20:51,890 --> 01:20:54,440 [tense music] 2016 01:20:55,790 --> 01:20:58,650 - [Tom] I love it when a planned kinda happens. 2017 01:20:58,680 --> 01:21:02,170 - [Crow] I do declare! Ooh. 2018 01:21:02,200 --> 01:21:04,750 [guns firing] 2019 01:21:05,650 --> 01:21:07,860 - [Jonah] Oh, that burrito's repeating on me. 2020 01:21:09,130 --> 01:21:11,310 [guns firing] 2021 01:21:11,340 --> 01:21:14,270 - [Crow] 50 bullets from three feet away oughta do it. 2022 01:21:14,310 --> 01:21:17,130 [dramatic music] 2023 01:21:18,060 --> 01:21:18,930 - [Tom] Wow, n one can resist 2024 01:21:18,960 --> 01:21:21,240 the oddly shaped face of Nick West. 2025 01:21:22,480 --> 01:21:24,620 - [Jonah] If you could just scooch over a bit, thanks. 2026 01:21:26,650 --> 01:21:27,750 - Mr. West, I presume. 2027 01:21:29,580 --> 01:21:30,860 - Who are you? 2028 01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:34,750 - [Crow] Eat hot licorice! 2029 01:21:34,790 --> 01:21:36,890 [gun firing] 2030 01:21:36,930 --> 01:21:39,000 - [Tom] I'd like to see Peter Tork do this! 2031 01:21:40,000 --> 01:21:42,440 - [Jonah] Oof. White pants for a shootout? 2032 01:21:42,480 --> 01:21:44,510 [guns firing] 2033 01:21:44,550 --> 01:21:47,370 [dramatic music] 2034 01:21:49,130 --> 01:21:51,100 - [Crow] Are they escaping into a Fox hunt? 2035 01:21:51,130 --> 01:21:53,720 [Jonah imitates trumpet fanfare] 2036 01:21:53,750 --> 01:21:57,000 - [Tom] Even Nick West knows handrail safety is important. 2037 01:21:59,030 --> 01:22:01,060 - [Jonah] Oh, Bill Nye's gonna be pissed. 2038 01:22:04,340 --> 01:22:06,550 - [Crow] She'll live to squeeze another day. 2039 01:22:09,680 --> 01:22:12,790 - [Tom] Oh no. Someone shot off all my buttons. 2040 01:22:12,820 --> 01:22:14,270 - Tommy? - Can you hear me? 2041 01:22:15,340 --> 01:22:18,410 - Tommy! - Can you feel me near you? 2042 01:22:18,440 --> 01:22:21,170 [tense music] 2043 01:22:21,200 --> 01:22:22,310 - [Crow] So much paperwork. 2044 01:22:22,340 --> 01:22:23,410 - You seen her? 2045 01:22:23,440 --> 01:22:25,720 - Look, Inspector Koos, at these prices, who cares? 2046 01:22:25,750 --> 01:22:27,480 - If she's anywhere in there, she's had it. 2047 01:22:27,510 --> 01:22:29,340 - I hope the fire doesn't reach the files. 2048 01:22:29,370 --> 01:22:30,890 They should be required reading. 2049 01:22:30,930 --> 01:22:33,130 - I hope it doesn't reach the magazine in the armory. 2050 01:22:33,170 --> 01:22:34,890 Helga says there's enough explosive in there 2051 01:22:34,930 --> 01:22:37,170 to make this volcano into an island. 2052 01:22:37,200 --> 01:22:38,510 - In that case, what are we being so damn heroic for? 2053 01:22:38,550 --> 01:22:39,680 Let's get down to the jetty. 2054 01:22:39,720 --> 01:22:43,200 - That would, I imagine, be the most prudent course. 2055 01:22:43,240 --> 01:22:44,890 - Where are you going? 2056 01:22:44,930 --> 01:22:46,550 - [Jonah] This way, to the end of the movie. 2057 01:22:49,720 --> 01:22:52,130 - [Crow] There she goes, off to form Bikini Kill. 2058 01:22:56,060 --> 01:22:57,100 - [Tom] Well, I'm in the bunker. 2059 01:22:57,130 --> 01:22:58,410 Guess there's nothing left to do 2060 01:22:58,440 --> 01:23:00,890 but marry Eva Braun and end it all. 2061 01:23:02,620 --> 01:23:05,270 - [Jonah] Lady Army lives on! 2062 01:23:05,310 --> 01:23:06,820 - [Crow] No it doesn't. - Oh. 2063 01:23:09,790 --> 01:23:12,790 [Tom] Looks like we won't be going back to Sandals, eh what? 2064 01:23:15,410 --> 01:23:17,410 - Well, that's the end of Sumuru. 2065 01:23:17,440 --> 01:23:19,650 No human being could survive that. 2066 01:23:20,550 --> 01:23:24,550 - Yes, but Sir Anthony, whoever said she was human? 2067 01:23:24,580 --> 01:23:27,480 - [Jonah] And now to let the disappointment wash over you. 2068 01:23:28,650 --> 01:23:31,370 [doors clanging] 2069 01:23:38,650 --> 01:23:40,440 - Anyone else left oddly deflated 2070 01:23:40,480 --> 01:23:41,960 by those last few moments? 2071 01:23:42,000 --> 01:23:42,930 - Yeah, I didn't know a movie 2072 01:23:42,960 --> 01:23:44,960 could end with the bang and a whimper. 2073 01:23:45,000 --> 01:23:47,620 - Well guys, we just saw a perfect example of Jonah's Law. 2074 01:23:47,650 --> 01:23:49,100 - Don't walk in on you in the bathroom 2075 01:23:49,130 --> 01:23:50,720 to show you a retainer we found? 2076 01:23:50,750 --> 01:23:51,860 - No, that's Jonah's Golden Rule. 2077 01:23:51,890 --> 01:23:54,650 Jonah's Law states that the movie is only as strong 2078 01:23:54,680 --> 01:23:56,680 as its villain and Sumuru just doesn't stack up. 2079 01:23:56,720 --> 01:23:57,960 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 2080 01:23:58,000 --> 01:23:59,930 You're really gonna stand there and Jonahsplain 2081 01:23:59,960 --> 01:24:02,200 that Sumuru wasn't good enough? 2082 01:24:02,240 --> 01:24:03,890 Well, let me tell you, buster, 2083 01:24:03,930 --> 01:24:06,510 she was a trailblazer for all of us supervillainesses. 2084 01:24:06,550 --> 01:24:08,650 - She had to do everything Dr. Doom did, 2085 01:24:08,680 --> 01:24:10,240 but backwards and in heels! 2086 01:24:10,270 --> 01:24:12,000 - Stay out of this, Max! 2087 01:24:12,030 --> 01:24:15,270 Grandma, clones, back me up on this 2088 01:24:15,310 --> 01:24:17,930 [upbeat music] 2089 01:24:19,030 --> 01:24:22,060 ♪ Sumuru walked so that we could run ♪ 2090 01:24:22,100 --> 01:24:25,930 ♪ You'll all bow down before us by the time we're done ♪ 2091 01:24:25,960 --> 01:24:29,170 ♪ We're kicking booties and we're taking names ♪ 2092 01:24:29,200 --> 01:24:32,820 ♪ The Evil Sisterhood of the Traveling Pains ♪ 2093 01:24:32,860 --> 01:24:36,170 ♪ 24/7 now it's Ladies' Night 2094 01:24:36,200 --> 01:24:37,510 ♪ Who run the world 2095 01:24:37,550 --> 01:24:41,170 ♪ Yeah, you got that right 2096 01:24:41,200 --> 01:24:44,820 ♪ Supervillainesses ♪ Shooby doo wop 2097 01:24:44,860 --> 01:24:48,410 ♪ Supervillainesses ♪ Shooby doo wop 2098 01:24:48,440 --> 01:24:49,480 ♪ Supervillainesses 2099 01:24:49,510 --> 01:24:52,310 ♪ All my girls up to their old tricks ♪ 2100 01:24:52,340 --> 01:24:55,860 ♪ Hela, Cruella, and Bellatrix 2101 01:24:55,890 --> 01:24:59,790 ♪ Cersei and Ursula, comin' for you ♪ 2102 01:24:59,820 --> 01:25:03,510 ♪ And also Ursa from "Superman II" ♪ 2103 01:25:03,550 --> 01:25:06,240 ♪ Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn 2104 01:25:06,270 --> 01:25:10,240 ♪ Mean ol' Ms. Trunchbull and Maleficent ♪ 2105 01:25:10,270 --> 01:25:14,030 ♪ The leaders of our respective packs ♪ 2106 01:25:14,060 --> 01:25:17,170 ♪ Go ahead and push the button, Max ♪ 2107 01:25:17,200 --> 01:25:18,680 - [Max] Sorry. 2108 01:25:18,720 --> 01:25:19,790 - I said push the button, Max! 2109 01:25:19,820 --> 01:25:21,170 [camera cutting out] 2110 01:25:21,200 --> 01:25:24,130 [epic theme music] 2111 01:26:26,370 --> 01:26:28,890 [jazzy music] 2112 01:28:27,130 --> 01:28:29,480 [ska music] 2113 01:29:09,170 --> 01:29:11,750 [upbeat music] 2114 01:30:29,270 --> 01:30:32,270 [mellow band music] 2115 01:32:14,820 --> 01:32:16,100 - What happened? 2116 01:32:16,130 --> 01:32:17,240 - She killed Boong. 2117 01:32:20,170 --> 01:32:21,820 - Did I hear my name? 2118 01:32:21,860 --> 01:32:22,930 - President Boong? 2119 01:32:23,960 --> 01:32:24,860 - The real one. 154776