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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:04,519 Don't look away. 2 00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:06,159 SHE CHORTLES 3 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:12,519 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 4 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:13,800 Don't put that on telly! 5 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:16,999 Oo-ar! 6 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,679 I might just do this all day. 7 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:19,759 TYPEWRITER DINGS 8 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:20,959 Argh! 9 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,559 This is weird! 10 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:24,039 KLAXON HONKS 11 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,320 ALL EXCLAIM 12 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,560 CHEERING, APPLAUSE 13 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:36,640 Thank you. 14 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,759 Yes! 15 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:41,079 My name is Greg Davies, 16 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:44,600 and this is the Taskmaster grand final! 17 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:52,319 My goodness, have we all been on a journey together! 18 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,959 Five Phileas Foggs high on adrenaline, 19 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:59,879 a group of Don Quixotes riding around on the donkey of thrills, 20 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:05,319 a quintet of David Attenboroughs off their nuts on monkey serotonin. 21 00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:07,199 And I know as well as you 22 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,159 that finishing this series on that last analogy 23 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:11,599 would do them a disservice, 24 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:15,519 so let's let them play out the last act themselves. 25 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:19,440 For the final time, please welcome Amy Gledhill... 26 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,640 ...Armando Iannucci... 27 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:25,480 ...Joanna Page... 28 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:28,280 ...Joel Dommett... 29 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:31,600 ...and Kumail Nanjiani. 30 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:38,079 And next to me, a man who tells me, quite simply, 31 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:42,760 his ideal holiday is to be a la plage with Nigel Farage... 32 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:47,439 ...it's little Alex Ho-ooo-orne! 33 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,679 Hello. Hello, everyone. 34 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:49,919 Hello, shoe. 35 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,439 Hello. Hello, hello, hello, hello. 36 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:52,919 Hello. 37 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:54,999 Here we are, in the final. Here we are. 38 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,999 What's the last prize task category of this series, Alex? 39 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:01,159 Well, it has excellence written all over it, Greg, 40 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:05,399 as they've brought in the object that is most likely to make you say, 41 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,800 "Oh, yeah, that is quality," when you see it. 42 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:10,719 It's the sort of phrase you might have heard 43 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:11,879 coming from a gents' toilet, 44 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:15,799 and also here, because it's the grand final. 45 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,399 The episode winner will take home all five top-quality items, 46 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,079 whereas the series winner, conversely, 47 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:21,439 will take home that trophy. 48 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:23,119 Greg. All right, then. 49 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,919 Joel, we'll see if... 50 00:02:24,920 --> 00:02:26,759 "..Ooh, yeah, that is quality..." 51 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,759 ...comes out or not. 52 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,319 That suits you more than your own voice. 53 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:31,479 This character? Yeah. 54 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,599 This is a new character, I've just made him up. 55 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,759 Oh, Dave. 56 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:37,679 Oh, let's have a look. Ah! 57 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,639 So I went through a phase - 58 00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:40,959 I was, like, 18 - 59 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,319 where I thought, "I'm going to be a rapper," 60 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:48,439 so I wrote and recorded some rap songs... 61 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:49,879 Oh, wow! 62 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,320 ...and this is a genuine song that I wrote, called Limelight. 63 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:58,519 Here's Joel's song. 64 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:00,639 ♪ But that's what you get for wanting limelight 65 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:03,160 ♪ The lime is bitter but the light is bright 66 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:07,680 ♪ Safe. ♪ 67 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:14,080 LAUGHTER DROWNS OUT SPEECH 68 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,119 Oh, my God. Yeah. 69 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:20,079 That is the first time this series 70 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,239 that my testicles have fully gone inside my body. 71 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:24,639 LAUGHTER 72 00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:27,439 It's a start. It's a start. OK. 73 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,079 You haven't said whether it's quality or not. 74 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,319 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think it was all right. 75 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,199 OK. 76 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:34,200 OK, Amy. 77 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,279 Amy, hello. Hello. 78 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:41,839 I have brought in some quality Hornsea pottery. 79 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,439 No... 80 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:46,439 I don't think Dave's going to like this one. 81 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,399 This is what she's brought in. 82 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,479 Oh. Ohh! 83 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,759 Don't laugh at that, Kumail! 84 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:57,119 This is... This is actually very quality stuff. 85 00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,719 So this is made in Hornsea, where I went to school... Mm-hm. 86 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:04,839 ...and Hornsea Pottery made the town all famous, 87 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,839 and now, this stuff's... 88 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,760 Can you please stop laughing? 89 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,680 It's quality ceramics. It's famously durable. 90 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:15,559 Let's ask Dave. 91 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:17,600 Oh, no, I don't like Dave! 92 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,480 I think it's toilet. 93 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,039 Aw! Ah. 94 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:26,480 Joanna. 95 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:33,800 I have brought in my Tom Jones Does Country And Western record. 96 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:38,199 Have a look and react. Wow. 97 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,519 Wow. Oh! Right. 98 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:41,799 You've got Tom Jones. 99 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,279 I've never met a man, 100 00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:45,319 until actually sitting opposite you, Greg, 101 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:51,320 that emanates such raw sexuality as Tom Jones. 102 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:54,999 Keep talking. 103 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:58,639 He is raw, he is male, he is sexual. 104 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:00,639 It seeps out of him. Oh, my God. 105 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,319 That, right? I imagine it literally does, actually. 106 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:05,839 I think it does. That, right? It's not just that, right? 107 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,559 He is on a horse, 108 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,039 his shirt is open, 109 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:10,919 you can see his chest hair, 110 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,519 and he's wearing a Stetson, 111 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,559 and I'm sorry, right? But I look at that and I go, 112 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:18,319 "Oh, yeah, THAT is quality." 113 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:19,839 Mm-hm. Yeah. Good. 114 00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:21,639 Well, I hadn't expected it to be 115 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:24,199 quite so flagrantly sexual from Joanna... Mm-hm. 116 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,799 ...but why not? Why not, indeed. 117 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,839 Oh, I wonder what Dave will think of that, though. 118 00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:30,640 Yeah, fair play - He's a Welsh stallion. 119 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:35,279 Armando. 120 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:38,559 Well, my eldest got my wife this for Christmas. 121 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:40,639 When we turned it on, 122 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,359 it transformed our lives. 123 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:44,599 Just... It's a very simple thing. 124 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,039 Take a look at this. 125 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,399 It looks like a normal sellotape dispenser. 126 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,720 Watch this. 127 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,040 ALEX GASPS 128 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,199 Ooh, that is good. 129 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,559 Ooh-whoa! Yeah. Nice. 130 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:01,119 That got me going... Yeah. ..the way that Tom Jones gets you going. 131 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:03,079 LAUGHTER Yep. 132 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:05,359 That is... That is life-changing. 133 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:06,599 Yeah. 134 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,439 And you can specify the length and... Oh. 135 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,519 You've picked your audience very nicely there. 136 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:14,400 I shall be buying one of those tonight. 137 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:18,799 Ah, Kumail, welcome. Hi. 138 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,239 What have you brought? 139 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,039 Greg... Yeah? 140 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:24,319 AMY GASPS - Oh, my God. - Oh, my God. 141 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,080 Finally. Oh, my God. 142 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,319 Is it a T-shirt with a koala bear on it? 143 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,199 It is a koala tee! 144 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:40,520 AUDIENCE GROANS 145 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:54,519 It is undeniably... A koala tee. 146 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:55,799 He's good. 147 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,040 He's fucking good. 148 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,279 OK. Are we ready to score? 149 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:01,519 Amy, I'm sorry, 150 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,279 I'm giving you one point for your pottery... 151 00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:05,239 I thought that was beautiful. ...and that's that. One point. 152 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:06,679 I'm giving koala tee two points... Whoa! 153 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:07,919 ...and he can thank me for it. 154 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:08,960 I don't give a shit. 155 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:11,719 Two points to Kumail. 156 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,879 You don't bring a pun T-shirt onto this show! 157 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:16,919 Joel, I have to put you in the middle 158 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:19,079 because I don't know whether it was quality 159 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:21,080 or whether I just want to help you. 160 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,279 Three points. Safe. 161 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:25,719 Tom Jones... Thank you. 162 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:28,880 I've never seen a woman so horny in my life. 163 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:31,679 Four points. 164 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,959 But, you know, he's playing to his audience. Wow. 165 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,519 I want that tape dispenser. Yes! Five points to Armando. 166 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,240 Armando Iannucci wins. 167 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:42,799 All right. All right. 168 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,919 What's first to kick off this glossy spectacle? 169 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:47,079 It's a great question, 170 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:48,959 and it's a blast from the past, Greg, 171 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,639 because the egg cup is back. 172 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:52,679 Whoo! 173 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,359 And once more... Ooh, 12 people love it! 174 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:57,159 And once more, it needs filling, 175 00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:00,040 but with what? GASPING 176 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,640 Hello. Hi, Amy. Hi. 177 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:18,599 Hello. Ah! Hello, Joanna. Ooh. 178 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:21,039 Hello. Armando. 179 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:22,479 Are there many Armandos? 180 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:23,720 There are a few. 181 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,200 Only I know where they are. 182 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,039 Lint roller. 183 00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,359 Ooh, that's a sticky thing. 184 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:32,679 May I? Yes. 185 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:33,880 Should I? OK. 186 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,360 ARMANDO CLEARS THROAT "Fill this egg cup..." 187 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,319 "..with lint." 188 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:44,039 "You have ten minutes, and the egg cup must stay in the lab." 189 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:48,160 "Also, you must stop this clock at exactly ten seconds..." 190 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,959 "..at some point during the second half of your attempt, 191 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,279 "otherwise you are disqualified. 192 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,119 "Most lint wins." 193 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:59,039 "Your time starts now." 194 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:00,919 Right, so I need to gather lint first of all, 195 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,759 start the clock, and halfway through it... 196 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,439 Over halfway through it, 197 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:08,519 stop it for ten seconds 198 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,639 and then start it again, yeah? 199 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:12,439 Well, I don't think so, but... No?! 200 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:13,839 That stops the clock, 201 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:14,919 that gets the lint, 202 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,040 that collects the lint. 203 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:19,240 OK, let's collect some lint. 204 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:21,960 Wow. Yeah. 205 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,599 Joel confounded expectations - he understood the task... Yeah. 206 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,639 ...he explained it and he got on with it. 207 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,439 Meanwhile, Armando's brain folded in on itself. 208 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:35,039 Yeah. LAUGHTER 209 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,439 Yes! Funny little cultural differences 210 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:38,679 between England and Wales, isn't it? 211 00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:39,759 We call it a lint roller 212 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,720 and you call it a "sticky thing," is it? 213 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:44,679 Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. 214 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:46,999 Right, well, first to try and locate a load of lint 215 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,920 are Amy and Kumail. 216 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:53,239 Am I linty? Oh, I'm not linty! 217 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:54,680 Argh. 218 00:09:57,840 --> 00:09:58,840 Oh! 219 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,599 {\an8}There's no lint anywhere. 220 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:06,199 What is the definition of lint? 221 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:07,799 Would you like me to look it up? 222 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,200 Yeah, unless you know it off the top of your head. 223 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:14,639 Oh, my God, I'm lint-less. 224 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,399 KEYPAD CLICKS 225 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,240 Could you type a little faster? 226 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,599 Time is running out. I've got the definition of lint for you. 227 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:23,920 It's a noun. 228 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:33,039 Speak faster. Right, sorry. 229 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:36,039 Nothing in the world has lint. 230 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:37,400 Lint's a myth! 231 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,759 Is there another definition of lint that I don't know about? 232 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:47,199 No. So it is just lint? 233 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:50,279 Fuzz, fluff, fibres, hair, dust, fur. Hair? 234 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:51,519 Well, anything that... 235 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:52,719 Hair? ..bundles up. 236 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:53,760 I mean, hair is hair. 237 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:58,840 I don't think you're going to be happy about this. 238 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,560 AUDIENCE GASPS 239 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,039 So what's the difference between lint and fur? 240 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,399 This is not fur because this is not a real animal. 241 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:10,759 HAIR RIPS 242 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:11,839 Ohh! 243 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:13,360 Is that lint or is that hair? Lint? 244 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:17,439 If it's not a real animal, it's lint. 245 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:18,719 You could have clothes with this. 246 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,119 Do you think they've made a cat out of lint? 247 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,839 You think they make jackets out of lint? No, they don't. 248 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,039 When stuff comes off a jacket, it's lint. 249 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:27,759 Stuff comes off a sweater, it's lint. 250 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,719 Stuff comes off a stuffed cat, 251 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:30,840 it's lint. 252 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,519 OK. You've got four minutes. 253 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:35,960 I need a little victory here. 254 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,000 Oo-ah! 255 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,319 Argh! 256 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,079 So I'm disqualified? I don't know. 257 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,239 Is there a reset? 258 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:56,920 I mean, there normally is, isn't there? 259 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:03,000 Thank God. 260 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:06,919 Yay! 261 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:08,599 APPLAUSE 262 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,439 Here we go. Oh, w... 263 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,759 Do you know? There's never lint when you want it. 264 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:14,959 Do you know who's gonna be good at this? 265 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,679 People that have pets, 266 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,480 and they've got all shit on them. 267 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,399 OK, there we go. 268 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:25,680 Here, kitty. 269 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:28,839 Oh, there's so much lint! 270 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,800 {\an8}I can't believe I'm just doing this now. 271 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,639 I don't know what I'm going to do for the rest of the day 272 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:36,040 without a sock. WHISTLE BLOWS 273 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,199 That is one egg cup full of lint. 274 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,720 APPLAUSE, CHEERING 275 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,520 It's a good start. Solid. 276 00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:47,039 Was it a good start? 277 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,079 Well, they got something in the egg cup. 278 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:51,039 Oh, yeah, something went in, all right. 279 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,439 I found it fascinating that Alex told you that hair wasn't lint, 280 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,359 and then you just carried on pulling your hair out, 281 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,040 like a character from One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. 282 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:03,559 I think, if you look, 283 00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:05,399 the third definition of lint is, 284 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:06,799 "Hair mixed with sock." 285 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,119 Ha! Mm. Well, the sock was certainly better. 286 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,439 The definition I've got is, "Short, fine fibres 287 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,599 "that separate from the surface of cloth." 288 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:14,879 It doesn't mention, 289 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:17,599 "Off the surface of a head or a cat." 290 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:18,839 Well, it's... 291 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,599 I... It's not a real cat? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 292 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:21,679 It's not a real cat, 293 00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:24,919 but according to Alex, that does fit the definition of... Yeah. 294 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,999 There is often hair and fur within lint. 295 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,599 OK. Ooh! Yours is... 296 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,999 ALEX STAMMERS 297 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,799 LAUGHTER 298 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,160 You're fucked, Greg. 299 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:36,920 I don't know if I'm fucked. 300 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:41,319 I'm certainly surprised 301 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,080 by your wolf noise! 302 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,159 The sock was much better, I thought. 303 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:47,999 Mm. That's far more linty. OK. Yeah. Thank you. 304 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,279 We were chatting during that, 305 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,479 and Alex and I think the sock looked a bit grubby, FYI. 306 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:52,720 OK. 307 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,319 I'll allow them as lint. OK. 308 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:58,999 Who's next? Well, will his attempt make you vomit? 309 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,160 Let's find out - it's Joel Patrick Dommett. 310 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,520 Where is...? Lint is, like, in... 311 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:12,040 Got an idea. 312 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,839 Henry, I'm sorry. 313 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,519 AUDIENCE GASPS 314 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:18,840 Lint. 315 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,159 Oo-er. Oof. 316 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:23,639 Have you ever put your fingers 317 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:24,800 into Henry's arsehole? 318 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:27,680 Right into Henry's butthole, that. 319 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,480 Can I get another egg cup? Sure. Thanks, bud. 320 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,279 Oh, that was close. Yeah. Stop it. 321 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:37,839 Oh, I've got a real good, like... 322 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:39,919 Phwoar! JOEL LAUGHS 323 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,119 That's the good stuff right there. 324 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:44,399 That's from, like, John Robins' bellybutton. 325 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,119 That is Sophie Duker's hair. 326 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:47,319 How long have I got left? 327 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,679 You've got one minute and one second. 328 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,519 AUDIENCE CHEERS Stop it! Oh! 329 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:54,799 Congratulations. It's now just lint. 330 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,959 Which is a show that I'm going to be hosting on Channel 5 after this. 331 00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:59,920 Five seconds left. That is lint. 332 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,039 WHISTLE BLOWS 333 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:04,799 Yep. I'm happy with that, though. 334 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:06,319 Yeah. That's a lot of lint. 335 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:07,439 It's interesting to go through 336 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,239 the sort of dregs of the Taskmaster house. Yeah. 337 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:11,319 It's never been emptied, that, 338 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:12,399 so thank you, Joel. 339 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,199 Don't lick... AUDIENCE GASPS 340 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,319 Why would you sniff it? 341 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,600 I don't know. 342 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,759 Very good. A lot of lint. 343 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,720 Very good. That's lint. 344 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:28,319 The hoover was a masterstroke. Incredible. 345 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,919 And you're the only person to have two egg cups. 346 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:32,719 This could be your finest hour. So far. 347 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:34,240 Ah. Tell me as Dave. 348 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,199 I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll bring Dave back 349 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,319 just to read out my favourite quote from you during that. 350 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:42,559 Please do. 351 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:45,040 Have you ever put your fingers in Henry's arsehole? 352 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,479 OK, there'll be a gap in our programme now 353 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:53,959 for some adverts. 354 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,279 It's an ugly gap, 355 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:58,119 but it's not as ugly as the one between Alex's wonky teeth! 356 00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,360 APPLAUSE 357 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,319 Hello! 358 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,639 Welcome back to our grand final, 359 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:13,639 where, to reflect the occasion, 360 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,559 they are trying to fill an egg cup with the most lint, 361 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,879 and now I expect Alex is going to annoy me 362 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:20,839 with some lint-based puns. 363 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,159 Ooh, I doubt it. 364 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,479 Although, you know, last year, 365 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,199 I did actually give up coffee for lint. Yeah, for lint. Yeah. 366 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:29,559 It tasted horrible. 367 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,999 Before the break, Joel went to some pretty extreme lint-hs 368 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,559 to fill up his egg cup. 369 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,559 And now, final-lint, are they feeling lucky, punks? 370 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:37,879 That's a lint Eastwood quote. 371 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,079 It's Joanna and Armando. 372 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,759 I actually don't think 373 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,719 I've got that much on me. 374 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,679 Right, OK. 375 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,640 Is it inappropriate to ask for your bellybuttons? 376 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:53,159 JOANNA LAUGHS Is there any? 377 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,039 There isn't. I'm sorry. 378 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:58,519 I'm really sorry that I'm going into your bellybutton! 379 00:16:58,520 --> 00:16:59,639 Mm. 380 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,160 Right, there's not that much lint... Not a lot. ..in there. 381 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,399 Lint - that's... What's lint? It's not a mint. 382 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,279 It's fluff, isn't it? Is it the...? 383 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,919 It's not mint. It's not mint. No. No. 384 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,239 How do you get lint? How do you get lint? 385 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,359 Where is lint? 386 00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:15,199 Is there any lint anywhere? 387 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,679 It's not a drink - 388 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:18,279 that's Lilt. Lilt. 389 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:22,800 I've suddenly now just lost the ability to work out language. 390 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,639 It's domestic bumfluff, basically. That's what it is. 391 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:29,799 OK. I'll be back in a minute. All right, then. 392 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,719 Where the heck do you get lint? 393 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,439 Right, I'm coming in here. 394 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:34,679 Is there any lint? 395 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:38,239 I saw, ages ago, right, that, in here... 396 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:41,319 Here we go. Whoo! 397 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,160 I've got you some lint. Where's that from? 398 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,320 Somewhere in here. 399 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,280 There we are. That's what I was after. 400 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:52,479 Where did you find that lint? I found that in the living room. 401 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:55,120 From a task that I did the other day. 402 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:58,479 And there was a duck, 403 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,119 and there was that lint, 404 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,799 and at the time, I saw it, 405 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,519 and I didn't forget it, 406 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,279 and I kept it in my mind, 407 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,319 and I'm chuffed. 408 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,799 I can see that. SHE CHUCKLES 409 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,199 Ooh, we've got a jumper. How much time? 410 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,639 4 minutes, 15 seconds. 411 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,359 Right, go. 412 00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:15,639 Five, six, seven... Oh, bum! 413 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,359 Oh, my God, that means I've got to count ten 414 00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:19,239 from, like, on that? 415 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:20,599 I'm not good at maths. 416 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,359 It has to be exactly ten seconds? 417 00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:23,680 Yes. Yes, it very much does. 418 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:29,519 Two, three, four, five, 419 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:34,200 six, seven, eight, nine, ten. 420 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,799 Oh, my God, my head completely went! 421 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,320 D... Mm. 422 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,000 AUDIENCE CHEERS 423 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,439 JOANNA YELPS 424 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,839 R-ah! Yes! AUDIENCE CHEERS 425 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,280 I flipping did it! I can't believe it. 426 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:00,999 I think I've peaked. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. 427 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,200 Very good. 428 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,399 Correct me if I'm wrong, 429 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,919 but they're the only two contestants to remember that we'd planted lint 430 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,599 in the building in a previous task. Mmm. Yes. 431 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,759 So, well done for remembering that. 432 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:18,000 A shame you forgot language and numbers. 433 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:21,599 But you know when I pressed the buzzer, right? 434 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,239 There was the big number there, 435 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,959 and then the small number was going fast, 436 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,519 and I genuinely... Right? 437 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,079 ...I lost my mind. 438 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:31,279 And that bit on the right was what I thought was the seconds, 439 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:34,359 first of all, and that's why I was shutting it off so fast. 440 00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:36,679 And then it was all going so fast that I thought, 441 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,799 "I don't know what a second is any more." 442 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,600 Have you been putting drugs in my tea? 443 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,479 And what happened with you, Armando, with language? 444 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,439 For a long time you kept saying, "What's lint? It's not mint." 445 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:49,919 I know. 446 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:51,400 There was certainly a hint. 447 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,079 There was more than a hint of lint. 448 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,559 Do you want to see how much all five of them got in their egg cups? 449 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:01,919 Big time. So, look, all their linty egg cups are here. 450 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:03,599 Joel managed to fill not just one, 451 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,319 but two egg cups. Mm. Ooh! 452 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:09,519 Armando's was slightly more than Joanna's in total, 453 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,199 {\an8}because he managed to use the jumper well. 454 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,319 {\an8}Kumail, you did get twice as much as Amy. 455 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:14,599 So it's one point to Amy, 456 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,119 it's two to Kumail, three to Joanna, four to Armando, 457 00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:19,639 but the most lint found was by Mr Joel Dommett. 458 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:21,399 Yeah. Five points. 459 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,039 You're the king of lint, young man. 460 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:24,799 On your wedding day as well. 461 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,919 Yeah! Yeah! 462 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,519 It does look like we're getting married. Yeah. 463 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:29,919 Married. Yeah, it does. 464 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:31,199 We're the ushers. Yeah. 465 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,519 You're all invited to the reception. Yeah. 466 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,119 What's he or she doing? 467 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:36,679 I'm their arsehole brother-in-law... Yeah. 468 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,280 ...who's doing coke in the toilet. 469 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,480 What a great '90s film you all are. 470 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:44,839 Let's see the scoreboard, please. 471 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:48,639 Well, in this episode, we have an outright leader. 472 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,599 He's wearing a kilt - it's Armando, on nine points! 473 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,759 CHEERING, APPLAUSE 474 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,159 Wow. Oh, my God. 475 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:56,839 Have you got something else lined up for us, Alex? 476 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,199 Do I? Yes, I do. 477 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:00,880 But look out, Greg! Ah! 478 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:16,759 Hello. Joanna. 479 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:18,440 Hi. Hello there. 480 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:22,799 No. 481 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,120 That's always been there, hasn't it? 482 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:27,000 Ooh, that was close. 483 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,360 Whoa, that was close! 484 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:33,800 Ooh. 485 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:36,800 Ah! Very close shave. 486 00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:39,680 Ooh! Ooh, that was close. 487 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,519 It's for you. Was it from that plane? Yeah. 488 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:45,599 Yeah, that's how we deliver them now. Yep. 489 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:46,600 OK. 490 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,359 "Have the most exhilarating near miss 491 00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:53,639 "with this paint balloon." 492 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:57,199 "You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now." 493 00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:58,679 Oh, I'm excited for this. 494 00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:00,360 This is right up my street. 495 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:03,559 It's very full. 496 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,079 Ooh. 497 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,559 Yeah, that's gonna go any minute. 498 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:07,759 SHE LAUGHS 499 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,119 It could be a near miss AT me, 500 00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:13,479 or it could be a near miss FROM me... 501 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:17,960 Yes. ...to anyone who co-hosts this show. 502 00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:20,799 I'll take that. Yeah. 503 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,239 I want to get hit by it. 504 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:23,759 It's heavy. Why do you want to get hit by it, Jo? 505 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,119 Cos it'd be fun, wouldn't it? Yeah. 506 00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:27,439 I've never been hit by a bowl full of paint before. 507 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:29,399 Yes. It's not a bowl. 508 00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:30,760 It's a balloon. OK. 509 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,719 And it's actual paint? What do you mean? 510 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:38,039 It's, like, real, like, wall paint? 511 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:39,240 Are you going out later? 512 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:41,639 I plan to. 513 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:42,839 Well, you've got to miss. 514 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:43,959 APPLAUSE 515 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,240 Wow. 516 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,719 Good. Well, I think we just need to see it, don't we? Yeah. 517 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,239 I want to see them almost get hit by a load of paint. 518 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:56,639 OK, well, it is the co-host of Taskmaster here, telling you... 519 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,039 Yes, I did notice that and I was irritated. 520 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:00,440 He's my assistant. Carry on. 521 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:05,959 Well, the first two to try and have the most exhilarating near miss 522 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,600 are Armando and Joanna. 523 00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:11,559 Right. 524 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,519 I'm on my way to a recorder conference. 525 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,119 The only rule is... Two rules - 526 00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:18,199 bring a recorder and don't have any paint on you. 527 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,599 If I got hit by paint, you know, 528 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,839 metres away from the recorder conference, 529 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:23,999 that would be awful, 530 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,439 but if I managed to fend off the paint attack, 531 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,679 that'd be quite exhilarating, wouldn't it? 532 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,400 Yeah? There's your backstory. OK. 533 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:32,800 There we go. Yeah. 534 00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:36,720 JOANNA BLOWS HORN 535 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,759 Alex! 536 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,240 THEY GRUNT 537 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:50,720 Right. 538 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,640 RECORDER PLAYS 539 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:04,840 ARMANDO GRUNTS 540 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,680 JOANNA ROARS 541 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:31,039 AUDIENCE GASPS 542 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,119 That was a near miss! 543 00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:34,279 That was amazing. 544 00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:35,440 That was a near miss. 545 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,000 There we are. My job's done. 546 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,239 Wow. I know it got me just a bit, but... Oh, yeah. 547 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,359 But look at this - it just missed the hedgehog. 548 00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:47,639 Thank God. Right. Yeah. 549 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,239 Yeah. Right. Good. 550 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,959 That way. Yes. Thank you. 551 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:53,080 Ha. Watch... 552 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,159 Yeah. Fascinating narrative. 553 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:02,719 Yeah. Talk me through... 554 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,039 Your character was going to... I was going to a recorder conference... 555 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:06,639 ...a recorder conference... ...hence the recorder. 556 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:07,759 ...and no paints allowed. 557 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:09,039 We were all sent... 558 00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:10,079 I mean, months ago, 559 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,320 we were sent an envelope with a card saying, "No paint." 560 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,519 Mustn't... It's become very real in your mind, hasn't it, 561 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:17,879 this conference? Yes. 562 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,959 "Must not have any paint on them whatsoever." Oh, God, no. 563 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,239 You must not. It's to do with the acoustics. 564 00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:24,480 Yes. 565 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:30,799 And, of course, Joanna had a narrative to hers as well. 566 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,479 What I was doing in the wheelbarrow 567 00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:35,159 with the trumpet, with Alex pushing me, 568 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:36,800 I'm not sure... Ah! 569 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:41,879 ...but... Sometimes, honesty is the best policy. Yeah. 570 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:43,439 I'm not sure. I've got a backstory for you... Yes? 571 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,360 ...which is, you were on your way to a horn conference. 572 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:49,519 Don't drag the girl into your madness! 573 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:52,639 She's already looking for lint in people's bellybuttons. 574 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,359 Shall we see another? Let's see another near miss. OK. 575 00:25:55,360 --> 00:25:58,359 Next, it's one of the buffest guys we've ever had on the show. 576 00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:00,839 "But Armando's already been," I hear you cry. 577 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,439 True, but fortunately, we also have 578 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:04,800 Joel Dommett. 579 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:08,560 Three... 580 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:11,519 ...two, 581 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:12,840 one. 582 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,840 AUDIENCE GASPS 583 00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:40,879 Did it work? 584 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:42,079 Yeah, I missed you. 585 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:43,320 Yes! 586 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:46,960 It really is a HIGH five. 587 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,080 Pretty good. Yeah. It's pretty good. Yes! 588 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,759 Speaking plainly, 589 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,000 you have been consistently awful in this show... 590 00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:02,199 ...but that, my friend, was a goddamn work of art, I thought. 591 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,559 Yes. I didn't even want to know the narrative. 592 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,320 I didn't even know if he was on his way to a bath conference. 593 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,799 I didn't even think, like, a narrative was an option. 594 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:14,359 Just, like make a near miss, that's a near miss. 595 00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:16,039 When they started going down the narrative route, 596 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:19,239 I was like, "Maybe I've done this wrong." No. 597 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,440 It turns out - narrative is fucking stupid. 598 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:28,999 OK. Right, one more before the break. Mm. 599 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:32,159 Next, it's actually the buffest guy we've ever had on the show. 600 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,400 JOEL LAUGHS It is Kumail Nanjiani. 601 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:45,400 AUDIENCE OOHING & AHHING 602 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,360 AUDIENCE GASPS 603 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:57,880 Oh! 604 00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:00,000 Oh! 605 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:04,440 SLOW-MO: Oh! 606 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,120 So did it go to plan? 607 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,559 No. It... 608 00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:15,519 It hit me in the centre of my body. 609 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,399 You call it the centre of your body? 610 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,960 Yeah, I think so. I'm pretty symmetric. 611 00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:24,159 LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE 612 00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:25,720 It was exhilarating. 613 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,399 I mean, real Hollywood stuff for some of it. 614 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:34,919 For a bit of it, yeah. 615 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:38,200 It's a near miss in that it nearly missed my penis. 616 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,919 I mean, that's what happened, ultimately. 617 00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:48,919 It was, "Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood..." 618 00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:50,480 "Oh, he's taken a balloon to the dick." 619 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:56,199 That's us halfway through this final, and weirdly, 620 00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,239 Alex has asked to speak. 621 00:28:58,240 --> 00:28:59,639 Right, here we go. Yeah. 622 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:00,759 So, hello, everyone. 623 00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:03,039 I just wanted to say, er, 624 00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:05,919 I've loved every second of every series Taskmaster 625 00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:08,239 has brought me, and you, hopefully. 626 00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:09,919 It's been the centre of my life for so long now, 627 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:13,279 but I feel now is the right time for me to move on, 628 00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:14,599 to try something different, 629 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,599 and so, sadly, this will be my final episode. 630 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:17,959 So... 631 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,320 Aw! 632 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,839 W-ah! W-ah! 633 00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:25,959 As if. As if! 634 00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:27,480 This is all he's got. It's all I've got. 635 00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:30,599 We'll see you in a minute. 636 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,240 CHEERING, APPLAUSE 637 00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:41,639 Welcome back! 638 00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:44,399 The final is rapidly drawing to a close, 639 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,399 but there's still work to be done. Yes, indeed. 640 00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:49,319 The current task involves having an exhilarating near miss. 641 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:52,479 Yes, it's a light entertainment version of the Cuban Missile Crisis. 642 00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:56,719 There's only one person left to go. 643 00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:59,680 It must be near Miss Amy Gledhill. 644 00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:03,520 Hello. Hello. 645 00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:06,680 Hit me with it. 646 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,079 OK. 647 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:12,120 Where should I aim? 648 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:15,359 Right between the eyes. 649 00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:16,879 Yes, please. Yes. 650 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:18,239 OK, right. 651 00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:19,759 Are you ready? 652 00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:22,799 One, two, three. 653 00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:24,000 Go. 654 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:29,840 AUDIENCE GASPS 655 00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,479 That was a near miss. Yeah, got away with that. 656 00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:38,120 Yeah. I think that went very well. 657 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:55,640 Are you there? 658 00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:59,079 There he is. Hello! AMY LAUGHS 659 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:00,960 Thanks, Amy. Thank you. 660 00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:05,280 So close. 661 00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:12,159 I've seen it and I still don't understand how that happened. 662 00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:14,320 I think it was you hitting it with the frying pan. 663 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:18,679 See, it was right up there with Joel, visually, though, I thought. 664 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,719 It was spectacular, but, you know, obviously, 665 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:21,960 a complete failure. 666 00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:26,519 OK, so I want to reward exhilarating 667 00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:29,000 even if it was, well... 668 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:31,439 ...rubbish... 669 00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:33,359 Right. ..so I'm going to give two points to Kumail 670 00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:34,759 and two points to Amy, 671 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:36,799 just because I enjoyed the visual stunning-ness of it. Aw. 672 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,039 It was exhilarating. 673 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:39,439 I get two points for all that? 674 00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:41,200 Yep. Mm-hm. Thank you. 675 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:45,640 You and your dick are welcome. 676 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,279 I'm giving Joanna three points - 677 00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,959 it was a beautiful near miss. 678 00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:55,039 But Armando somehow won me over 679 00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:58,799 with this ridiculous, convoluted story arc, 680 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:02,279 so three points to Joanna, four points to Armando. 681 00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:05,519 And sometimes you just have to say, "Well, it was a work of art." 682 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:08,080 Joel Dommett takes five points. Very good. 683 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:13,399 I'm afraid the time has come for me 684 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:16,559 to request the last pre-filmed task of the series. 685 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:18,199 Aw! 686 00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:21,799 And I must give you that task, and it shall be a team one. 687 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:23,519 Ooh. And just like Greg, 688 00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,560 it really is a big softie. 689 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:46,679 DOOR CREAKS 690 00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:48,319 Oh! Hey, Alex. Oh. 691 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,439 Alex. Hello! 692 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,519 Hello, Joanna. Ah, good, pillows. 693 00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:54,679 Hello, Armando. Hello. Hello, Alex. 694 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,239 OK. Ooh. Three pillows. 695 00:32:57,240 --> 00:32:58,999 Maybe it's a sleeping task. Do you want to read? 696 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,519 Oh, yes, please. 697 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,239 Right. Yes. 698 00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:04,879 "Choreograph and carry out..." 699 00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:09,079 "..the greatest pillow fight of all time." Yes! 700 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:11,599 "Greatest pillow fight of all time wins." 701 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:12,959 "You have 20 minutes." 702 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:15,199 "Your time starts now." This is great. We've got 703 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,039 a bona fide action star with us. AMY SQUEALS 704 00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:18,479 We don't have to do it in here, do we? 705 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,439 Well, I know. I don't suppose we do, do we? 706 00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:21,639 Should we do it at, like... 707 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:23,759 Coming at each other from a great distance? 708 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:24,959 Yeah, that would be good. 709 00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:26,759 All right. Well, let's take these pillows 710 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:28,879 and start finding a good venue for it. 711 00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:32,200 Right, we need a battering ram and then some form of catapult. Yes. 712 00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:41,679 I'm excited... Of course. 713 00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:43,439 ...especially now I know there's going to be catapults 714 00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:45,239 and battering rams involved. 715 00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:46,519 Let's have a look. Yes. 716 00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:48,279 They were ambitious, and for the last time, then, 717 00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,160 it is Armando and Joanna. 718 00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:04,839 I challenge you to pillow combat. 719 00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:07,759 Unleash the cata-pillows! 720 00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,239 YELLING 721 00:34:10,240 --> 00:34:12,399 Company, we're being scatter-cushioned 722 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,119 by the mad, cackling moss-lady across the valley. 723 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:16,479 Hold the line 724 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:21,519 while I unleash the power of a cushion cannon! 725 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:22,639 Fire one! 726 00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:24,279 LOUD BOOM Ahh! 727 00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:25,480 Fire two! 728 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:28,640 JOANNA SCREAMS We might as well do a third one. 729 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:32,679 JOANNA SCREAMS, SNARLS 730 00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:34,439 Is there a four? LIGHTER CLICKS 731 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,999 No, there isn't a four. 732 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,799 Bash his walls in with my battering ram, 733 00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:42,720 made from my hardest memory foam. 734 00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:47,519 Hold fire! 735 00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,919 DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS 736 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,399 ARMANDO CHUCKLES 737 00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,999 You will taste... 738 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,280 Hang on. ARMANDO CLEARS THROAT 739 00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:04,360 You will taste the soft, fluffy underside of my lance. 740 00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:07,240 BOTH YELL 741 00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:15,799 Eh! JOANNA GRUNTS 742 00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:17,519 Ahh! JOANNA ROARS 743 00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:19,239 I shall not yield! 744 00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:21,879 Yield! Ahh! Yield! Do you yield? 745 00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:23,399 I yield! 746 00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:24,879 Let us parley. 747 00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:27,199 I will parley. 748 00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:28,559 Shall we pillow talk? 749 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:29,839 Let us pillow talk. 750 00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:31,359 ARMANDO GRUNTS 751 00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:32,679 We shouldn't be fighting each other. 752 00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:34,039 No. No. 753 00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:35,799 Look, why don't we join forces? That's a good idea. 754 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,759 We should take down that evil elf that does the Taskmaster's bidding. 755 00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:42,279 You mean The Dark Horne? Oh, yes. 756 00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:45,039 I mean The Dark Horne. 757 00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:46,160 Advance! 758 00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:59,039 Take it, Alex! No, thank you. Take it, Alex! Die! 759 00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:01,839 Death to The Horne! Get The Horne! 760 00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:03,599 Get the clipboard! BOTH YELL 761 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,559 Get it! I've got the clipboard! Got it. 762 00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:08,320 I've got all the other tasks! 763 00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:12,559 Wow. 764 00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:15,000 CHEERING, APPLAUSE 765 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:23,159 What an epic journey. Wow. 766 00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:25,399 I can't speak for everyone, but I certainly would like to taste 767 00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:28,000 the soft, fluffy underside of Armando's lance. 768 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:34,879 I wasn't sure what people would say about you 769 00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:36,599 when the series airs, Joanna, 770 00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:39,600 but I think "the cackling moss-lady from across the valley" works. 771 00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:45,039 It had everything, didn't it? Mm. 772 00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:47,279 Two tribes, warring... 773 00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:48,599 Mm. ..violence. 774 00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:50,279 Revenge on the elf. 775 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:52,559 And then they came together... Yes. 776 00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:54,399 ...they formed a coalition... Yeah. 777 00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:56,399 ...and then revolution! Yeah. Yes. 778 00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:57,439 Attack The Dark Horne. 779 00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:59,560 And genuine pain, and some allergies. 780 00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:02,679 What an epic film. Mm. 781 00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:04,359 What a team! Well done, you two. 782 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:05,639 Thank you. Oh, thank you. 783 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:06,960 Thank you. We had a lovely time. 784 00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:13,399 Sadly, there is just one part left of this sweet, sweet series. 785 00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:16,159 Who will lift aloft the tat to my right 786 00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:17,919 and become the latest addition 787 00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:19,639 to an elite group of champions 788 00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:21,719 that Joel Dommett will always wonder 789 00:37:21,720 --> 00:37:22,960 what it's like to be part of. 790 00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:25,839 We'll see you in a bit. 791 00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:27,280 CHEERING, APPLAUSE 792 00:37:34,240 --> 00:37:35,959 Hello! 793 00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:39,599 Welcome back to the final part of our grand final. 794 00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:43,439 We're currently witnessing the greatest pillow fights of our time. 795 00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:46,039 We've seen one, but there's still one to go. 796 00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:48,719 That is correct, and so, for the final time, 797 00:37:48,720 --> 00:37:54,120 it is fight night with Amy, Joel, and Kumail from way out west. Ooh. 798 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:06,599 HORSE NEIGHS 799 00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:08,760 AUDIENCE LAUGHS 800 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:21,640 GLASS SMASHES 801 00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:36,080 Ha! 802 00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:41,679 AUDIENCE LAUGHS 803 00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:44,120 Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha. 804 00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:48,480 He-he, he-he. 805 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:52,119 JOEL ROARS 806 00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:54,239 KUMAIL CRIES OUT 807 00:38:54,240 --> 00:38:57,680 KUMAIL SCREAMS JOEL CACKLES 808 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:28,440 CROW CAWS 809 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:35,960 CHEERING, APPLAUSE 810 00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:44,639 Everybody looked pretty sexy in that, I thought. 811 00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:45,719 It was so fun. 812 00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:47,879 And, look, full credit to Kumail, 813 00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:51,199 cos he just turned so Hollywood so quick. Yeah. 814 00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:52,719 He was, like, unbelievable. 815 00:39:52,720 --> 00:39:54,119 He took the whole thing by the horns. 816 00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:55,599 He was like, "This angle, this angle. 817 00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:57,359 "We're going to do this. This, this, this." 818 00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:59,559 And we were all just like... 819 00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:01,719 It was unbelievable. No... 820 00:40:01,720 --> 00:40:03,599 It was unbelievable. We all... We did. 821 00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:05,079 We did it all! No, me and Joel kept going, 822 00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:07,519 "We're gonna be in a film with Kumail!" 823 00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,079 AMY SQUEALS 824 00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,560 "Let's put this on our CV!" 825 00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:16,679 Yeah... Yeah, I wouldn't. No. 826 00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:19,199 I... LAUGHTER 827 00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:20,959 I don't know how to score these. Yeah! 828 00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:24,079 Because I enjoyed them both immensely. 829 00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:25,919 Mm. I don't think I've ever done this before. 830 00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,359 Ooh. 831 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:29,960 Trousers down, I think, is it? 832 00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:39,160 I'm giving everyone five points. 833 00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:43,839 Can I...? 834 00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:45,239 Wait. 835 00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:48,319 If you're giving us all five points, you've done nothing. 836 00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:50,239 You might as well give us zero points. 837 00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:52,920 I'm giving everyone five points apart from Kumail... 838 00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:56,360 ...who I'm giving zero points. 839 00:40:57,840 --> 00:40:59,079 One final look at the scores. 840 00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:00,359 OK, can you give us five points again 841 00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,999 so I can have a more TV-friendly reaction? 842 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:04,159 OK. No! 843 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,719 LAUGHTER 844 00:41:06,720 --> 00:41:09,760 No. I want everyone to see how mean-spirited you are. 845 00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:16,520 One final look at the meaningless scores, then. Yes. 846 00:41:18,240 --> 00:41:19,719 Of course, Greg. Oh! 847 00:41:19,720 --> 00:41:22,359 Oh! Ooh. 848 00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,119 This is typical. It's a deep pocket! 849 00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:27,120 JOEL GROANS 850 00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:31,159 Yay! CHEERING, APPLAUSE 851 00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,199 But I'm Joel Dommett. 852 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:34,400 Oh, my God! 853 00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:38,759 We're all Joel Dommett! They've all got eggs! 854 00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:41,759 JOANNA, KUMAIL: I'm Joel Dommett! 855 00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,759 Egg. United by egg. APPLAUSE 856 00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:46,039 Aw! 857 00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:48,679 RAUCOUS CHEERING 858 00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:51,159 That would be such a heart-warming moment, 859 00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:53,199 but for me, now that everyone's got an egg, 860 00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:54,559 it's meaningless. 861 00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,039 LAUGHTER 862 00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:58,800 APPLAUSE 863 00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:05,999 One final look at the scores? Of course. 864 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,719 Well, the series is hotting up, 865 00:42:08,720 --> 00:42:10,439 the episode even more so. 866 00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:11,719 We have joint leaders - 867 00:42:11,720 --> 00:42:13,680 Armando and Joel are both on 18 points! 868 00:42:17,720 --> 00:42:18,760 Well... 869 00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:23,159 ...it genuinely is sad that that's the end of the VTs. Aw. 870 00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:25,359 I'm genuinely sorry to see you go. Oh, well. 871 00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:28,039 OK, everyone, please make your way to the stage 872 00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:30,799 for the final live task of the series! 873 00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:32,760 CHEERING, APPLAUSE 874 00:42:41,240 --> 00:42:42,519 Wow. 875 00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:45,719 This looks like a hell of a way to go out. 876 00:42:45,720 --> 00:42:47,319 Who will be reading the task? 877 00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:48,720 Joel Dommett is going to read the task. 878 00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:52,360 "Chuck your duck in your buck. 879 00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:56,119 "You must sit on your chair at all times, 880 00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:57,639 "and you must not touch the ground 881 00:42:57,640 --> 00:43:02,839 "or anything other than your chair or duck with any part of your body. 882 00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:04,479 "Fastest wins." 883 00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:07,239 OK. So it says, "Chuck your duck into your buck." 884 00:43:07,240 --> 00:43:10,199 By "chuck" we mean "put," but that doesn't rhyme with "duck," 885 00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,199 and by "buck" we mean "bucket," but we don't mean "chuck." 886 00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:13,999 Just put your duck in the bucket - that's what you've got to do. 887 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:17,239 Greg, they are under starter's orders and you are the starter. 888 00:43:17,240 --> 00:43:19,799 Three, two, one. 889 00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:21,759 B-ah! And they're off. 890 00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:24,079 CHEERING JOANNA SCREAMS 891 00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:25,399 Nearly touched the ground. 892 00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:27,799 GRUNTING, SCREAMING 893 00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,320 And Joel's in the lead. 894 00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,279 JOANNA LAUGHS 895 00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:35,680 Kumail's coming. Kumail's overtaking Joel. 896 00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:40,119 KUMAIL YELLS They're almost there. 897 00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:41,319 Yes! 898 00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:43,239 GRUNTING, SCREAMING 899 00:43:43,240 --> 00:43:44,599 And Joel's won! 900 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:46,799 Kumail's second. 901 00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,479 Amy's almost there. Ooh! JOANNA LAUGHS 902 00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:51,279 CHEERING DROWNS OUT SPEECH 903 00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:52,879 Amy's there. 904 00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:54,159 JOANNA LAUGHS 905 00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:55,560 Armando versus Joanna. 906 00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:02,320 CHEERING 907 00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:04,999 Wait, I... 908 00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:06,559 Yes! Yes! 909 00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:08,880 BUCKET CLANGS CHEERING 910 00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:13,279 Wow. 911 00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:15,079 ALEX SIGHS 912 00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:18,359 Come down here and we'll add that to the final scores! 913 00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:19,640 Very good. 914 00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:28,159 Wow. Wow. 915 00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:30,319 Yeah, wow. That was good. 916 00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:33,279 I mean, what an end to the series Joel Dommett's had. 917 00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:35,919 - That... Whoo! - Oh. Oh! CHEERING 918 00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:38,360 He powered to victory. You... 919 00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:42,559 You came in strong at the end. Yep. 920 00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:43,959 I'm better in a suit, I think. 921 00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:45,039 I think that might be it. 922 00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:46,439 You chucked your duck in the buck first, 923 00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:47,519 you got five points. 924 00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:50,639 And so the final scores of this episode are, 925 00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,359 Armando in second place with 20, 926 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:54,359 but the winner, with 23 points, is Joel Dommett. 927 00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:57,239 RAUCOUS CHEERING 928 00:44:57,240 --> 00:45:00,319 Joel Dommett wins the episode! 929 00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:04,399 You've qualified to collect your quality collection! 930 00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:06,680 CHEERING, APPLAUSE 931 00:45:14,720 --> 00:45:17,760 Ohh! 932 00:45:21,240 --> 00:45:27,319 The time has come once again to crown a new champion. 933 00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:29,039 It's been an exceptional series. 934 00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:30,599 They all deserve so much respect 935 00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:33,359 for their careers outside of this programme, 936 00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:37,359 but the last ten weeks have been a pure joy. 937 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:40,999 So now we must find out the final scores 938 00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:43,119 with my good, good boy, 939 00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:44,720 little Alex Horne. 940 00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:47,680 I'm a 47-year-old man. 941 00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:52,080 So, Greg, in last place... 942 00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:56,559 ...but not nearly as last place as we thought for quite a long time, 943 00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:58,760 it's Joel Dommett with 150 points. 944 00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:02,360 Yeah. 945 00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:07,839 And just five points ahead of Joel, 946 00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:09,079 with 155 points, 947 00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:10,440 it's Amy Gledhill! 948 00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:17,039 Yeah. 949 00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:20,359 160 points to somebody 950 00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:22,439 who quibbled more than the others, and we love him for it - 951 00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:23,880 it's Kumail Nanjiani! 952 00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:30,879 So here we go. 953 00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:32,879 It's someone in the team of two that wins. 954 00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:35,959 GASPING - Ooh. - With 161 points, 955 00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:38,839 our second-place person is 956 00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:40,240 Armando Iannucci! 957 00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:53,159 And so the winner got 165 points, Greg. Yes. 958 00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,359 And that winner is... 959 00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:57,120 Joanna Page! 960 00:46:59,920 --> 00:47:04,359 The new Taskmaster champion is Joanna Page! 961 00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:06,440 I'm gonna do my power stance. 962 00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,879 Thank you! Congratulations. 963 00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:12,920 It's yours. 964 00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:18,120 Whoo! JOANNA LAUGHS 965 00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:23,480 Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! 966 00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:44,319 JOANNA SHRIEKS 967 00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:46,720 Subtitles by Red Bee Media 68190

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