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Welcome to Tool Time,
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the show that actually teaches
you how to improve your home.
3
00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:17,720
Morning, Al. Morning, Tim.
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00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:20,757
Honey, I'm freezing
cold. Feel my hands.
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Hi, hey! Ooh, I'll warm 'em.
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00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,662
Here, slip 'em in the
Taylor Toast-o-matic Oven.
7
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Those babies are colder
than a witch's... Tim.
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00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:30,967
Watching this again?
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00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,735
Honey, this is destined
to become a classic.
10
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:35,372
Is this the third time
you've watched it?
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It's got everything...
action, drama, latex paint,
12
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,143
and, God, I look good
in that vest, don't I?
13
00:01:40,167 --> 00:01:42,312
Ha-ha-ha. No, really,
honey, I'm so cold.
14
00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:44,147
Would you go down
and check the furnace,
15
00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,550
'cause I think that the
pilot light must be out.
16
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,985
You're saying lighting
a pilot's a man's job?
17
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:51,854
No, I'm saying it's your job.
18
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:56,560
Heh. Look, you're afraid to go down in
that deep, dark basement, aren't you?
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00:01:56,584 --> 00:01:58,595
No, I'm not afraid.
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00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:01,831
I just don't like it, you know,
when the furnace goes, "Whoosh!"
21
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:04,501
All right, I'll light the
pilot light if I get a big kiss.
22
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:06,035
Do I have to?
23
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:07,137
You have to.
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00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:09,239
OK, but only if
I really have to.
25
00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:10,907
Oh, gross.
26
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:13,743
It's not even dark yet.
27
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,112
Ignore 'em, maybe
they'll go away.
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00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:17,080
Ha-ha-ha. No,
honey. You really...
29
00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:19,849
you have to do the furnace now,
30
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:22,552
because Mark's whole
scout troop is coming over,
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00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:24,588
and I don't want a house
of little frozen Cub-sicles.
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00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:26,378
Right away.
33
00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:30,026
Dad, Dad, check this out.
34
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:32,229
I can tell your future
with these cards.
35
00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:33,830
A kid at school showed me how.
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00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:36,799
I got the three of diamonds.
That means I'm gonna be rich.
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00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,336
OK, fourth card from
the top's your card.
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00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,337
Deal it, buddy.
39
00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:42,572
1, 2, 3...
40
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:48,545
Hah! Ace of spade-os.
Read it and weep. What?
41
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:51,403
It's a death card, Dad.
42
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:56,953
Yeah, right. Let me deal those
and cut 'em like a man. Arr!
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Arr! Arr!
44
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,558
OK.
45
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:05,061
I can see it now, cars,
cash, big homes, boats.
46
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,585
Death.
47
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,033
Double death.
48
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:12,502
Yeah? How long
do you think I have?
49
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,504
Long enough to
light the furnace.
50
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,873
She's right. We got work to
do. Down in the basement.
51
00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:18,875
'Cause one day, boys,
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00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:21,211
you will have a cold
woman of your own.
53
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:23,413
You have to learn
how to light her furnace.
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00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:24,914
Come on, come on.
55
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,684
Follow me. Come on, guys.
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00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:31,655
OK, guys, come on
down to the basement,
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00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:34,291
the climate control
central of our house.
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00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:37,026
Now watch what you're doin'. Ow!
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00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,562
Ohh!
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00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:41,320
Ohh! Ohh!
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00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:47,737
Want you guys to
meet a friend of mine...
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00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:51,062
the Binford Volcanomaster 5,000.
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00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:55,144
A quantum leap ahead
of the 4,000 model,
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00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:56,813
which it replaced
earlier this year.
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00:03:56,837 --> 00:04:01,084
This is 150,000 BTUs.
66
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:02,652
What's a BTU?
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00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:04,008
Technical term.
68
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:10,193
Yeah, but what's it stand for?
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00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:12,895
"U" is because of it's a unit.
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00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:17,100
"B" is because it's a
big, beautiful Binford.
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00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:19,736
That's "B." "T" is heat.
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00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:24,107
Big heat unit.
That's what this is.
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00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:26,243
Dad, heat starts with "H."
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00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,444
Gimme that flashlight, will ya?
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00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:29,846
Dad, heat starts with "H."
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00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,782
Heat ends with "T." Heat. Heat.
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00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,619
Heat.
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00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:38,355
Now, working on a furnace
is a delicate operation,
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00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:40,590
almost like working
on a time bomb.
80
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:46,229
Wow, that's how he's gonna
die. He's gonna blow himself up.
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00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:47,997
That's not how I'm gonna die
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00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:52,369
because your dad is gonna
practice furnace safety tips.
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00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:54,704
OK, the access panel here says,
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00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:57,374
"Press button, hold
15 seconds, and..."
85
00:04:57,398 --> 00:05:00,443
Open your mouth or the
shockwaves from the blast
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00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,667
will make your head explode.
87
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:15,592
13, 14, 15.
88
00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:18,127
No explosion. No death.
89
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,698
Why? Why? Because your
dad laughs in the face of fear.
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00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:25,302
Ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha.
91
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:29,773
Excuse me, fellas. Jill, set it back to
"auto," and the heat is now working.
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00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:32,041
Ow.
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00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,799
God...
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00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:37,747
(rustling)
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00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:39,416
What was that?
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00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,150
Shh!
97
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:44,020
(whispers) Be very quiet.
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00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,444
(whispers) What is it?
99
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:51,216
I think it's over there
behind the boxes.
100
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:55,865
Boy, I hope it's not
that. It couldn't be.
101
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,066
What?
102
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,335
What?
103
00:05:58,359 --> 00:06:01,705
Yesterday at the zoo, I
read a panther escaped.
104
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:03,573
Yeah, right, Dad.
105
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:04,674
I'm not kidding.
106
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:05,675
(rustling)
107
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,577
Don't make any sudden moves.
108
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:10,279
Just head toward the stairs.
109
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:12,604
It could be anywhere.
110
00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:15,485
It could be...
111
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,620
Aah!
112
00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:20,712
(both) Aah!
113
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:25,562
Ha-ha. It's just a mouse
or something probably.
114
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:28,931
What if it's not a mouse?
It could be a snake.
115
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:31,368
Hey, there's nothing
funny about snakes.
116
00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:32,836
Don't joke about that.
117
00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:37,841
There's nothing funny
about slimy reptiles. Nothing!
118
00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:40,042
Hey, maybe it's a
big, huge python.
119
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,078
Enough! Enough!
120
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,913
It's a mouse, a mouse.
121
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:47,384
And, of course, it
could be a huge one
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00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:49,419
that likes to eat
little kids like you.
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00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:51,976
(all yell)
124
00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:57,427
Hey, hey, do I have
to put in speed bumps?
125
00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:58,428
Mom?
126
00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:00,029
Yeah?
127
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,498
What are we gonna make?
128
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:04,066
I am going to have
the whole scout troop
129
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:08,059
make their own paper-bag masks.
130
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:14,911
Is that all? Billy's mom
helped us make a real teepee.
131
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,178
She did?
132
00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:19,370
Yeah, and she made us
beef jerky from raw meat.
133
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:25,054
Billy's mom is a Stepford wife.
134
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:28,447
You're getting pizza
and paper-bag masks.
135
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:34,118
Well, I guess I better
put on my uniform.
136
00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:40,970
Honey, mission accomplished.
137
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:43,940
Furnace is lit, operational.
138
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,476
That, however, is the good news.
139
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,645
The good news?
What's the bad news?
140
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:51,280
Well, I can't tell you.
You'll probably go crazy.
141
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,416
Oh, please, I never go crazy.
142
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,419
I found something soft and
furry that rhymes with "house."
143
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,054
Oh, God.
144
00:07:58,078 --> 00:07:59,778
There's a famous
one named Mickey.
145
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:03,593
It's a mouse.
146
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:07,831
God, a mouse with
beady little eyes
147
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:09,999
and toe-jammy little nails.
148
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,768
Ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh.
149
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:14,236
Jill, it's just a little,
innocent thing.
150
00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:17,306
Tim, they are dirty,
they carry disease,
151
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,775
they eat garbage.
152
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:22,645
So do the boys. You're
not afraid of them.
153
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:25,069
Yes, I am.
154
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:28,518
(scratching sounds)
155
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,052
You hear that?
156
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,989
Tim, don't!
157
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,992
I thought I heard toenails,
toe-jammy things scraping...
158
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,861
Stop it, stop it!
159
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,261
They're so little,
and they're so quick,
160
00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:41,263
they just run out anywhere
and right up people's backs...
161
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:42,699
Aah! Just quit it!
162
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:47,003
Hey, hey, it's in the basement.
Get off the chair, please?
163
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,772
Would you please just
call an exterminator?
164
00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:52,141
Exterminator? Yeah.
165
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,677
Pest control is my domain.
166
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:55,745
Termites fear me.
167
00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:58,515
Mice whisper my name.
168
00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:01,651
"Hey, forget it, the cheese.
Come back to the hole. It's Tim.
169
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:05,922
Come on, come on.
He'll kill you. He'll kill you."
170
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:08,190
I'll go see if Wilson
has any traps.
171
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,826
No, no, don't kill it.
172
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:13,195
From filthy little vermin
to your fuzzy little friend.
173
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,898
Where did that start?
174
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,766
Well, just because
I don't like it,
175
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:18,635
doesn't mean I
wanna see it dead.
176
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:21,459
Otherwise, I'd have set traps
for your mother years ago.
177
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:26,031
Trap wouldn't stop her.
178
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:30,079
She'd just chew her leg off.
179
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:32,203
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
180
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:35,919
Wilson!
181
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:37,754
Hi-ho, neighbor.
182
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:40,857
Hey, Wilson, do you have any
of those humane traps for mice?
183
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,291
Since when did you
become a trapper, Tim?
184
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:45,061
Wilson, I think I heard a
mouse in my basement,
185
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,997
and Jill got real freaked
out over that itty-bitty thing.
186
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:48,998
Can you believe that?
187
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:51,333
Well, fear is perfectly natural.
188
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:53,903
Everybody's afraid of something.
189
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,606
What about you, Wilson?
What are you afraid of?
190
00:09:56,630 --> 00:10:00,509
I do have one
underlying fear, Tim.
191
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:05,615
I'm afraid that reality as we
know it is someone else's dream,
192
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:09,185
and... when the dreamer wakes,
193
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,375
I'll no longer exist.
194
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:19,550
Wilson, I wouldn't share
that with too many people.
195
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,632
Back to the trap thing...
196
00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:23,866
Sure, good buddy.
197
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:26,335
So you said you heard
noises in the kitchen?
198
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:27,570
No, in the basement.
199
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:29,138
In the basement. Yeah.
200
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:32,308
You've been hearing all sorts
of what, scratching noises?
201
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:34,877
No. Kind of a
more of a rustling.
202
00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:36,713
Rustling? Yeah.
203
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:39,048
Mm-hmm-hmm.
204
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:42,051
Tim, my boy, I don't think
you have a problem with mice.
205
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:43,419
Great.
206
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:46,055
No, no, no. It sounds like
you might have a snake.
207
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:47,189
Oh, God!
208
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:48,758
You scared of snakes, Tim?
209
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:52,695
Ehh, man. Hey, snakes are
supposed to live in the woods.
210
00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:54,563
Well, this whole area
used to be woods, Tim,
211
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:57,166
but as man has
taken over his habitat,
212
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,335
they've become suburban snakes.
213
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,938
Heh, suburban snakes? Mm-hmm.
214
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:04,974
They, like, work here, commute
back to the woods, is that it?
215
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:09,078
No, they could be right here
living in your own backyard,
216
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:12,015
or somebody in the neighborhood
could be breeding snakes.
217
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,717
All you need is a cardboard
box and a light bulb.
218
00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:17,486
What kind of sicko
would breed snakes?
219
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:21,223
Well, Tim, snakes are
clean, low-maintenance pets.
220
00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:24,582
Plus, they have a very
firm, nutty-tasting flesh.
221
00:11:26,953 --> 00:11:28,564
(door opens)
222
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:32,135
So, what's the deal, are
you gonna set some traps?
223
00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:33,770
Wilson doesn't
think we need one.
224
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,805
I'm calling the exterminator.
225
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:38,007
Why?
226
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,476
He doesn't think we have mice.
227
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,779
Oh, no, it's a rat.
228
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,981
Worse. Snake.
229
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:46,504
Snake? Where?!
230
00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:50,853
Oh, no. God, not a snake.
231
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,021
Wait a minute.
232
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:55,692
Didn't you tell me
that you saw a mouse?
233
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,727
I didn't see it in
the visual sense.
234
00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,996
You jerk. You lied to me.
235
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:02,431
I didn't lie. I was... kidding.
236
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:05,634
Mom, Dad, come look
what I found in the basement!
237
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:07,336
Just a second, Randy! Kidding?
238
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,339
You were just torturing me
with all those mouse sounds.
239
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:12,408
Well, come on,
what's the big deal?
240
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,210
Everybody likes to be scared.
241
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,712
It's fun. Fun...
242
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:16,713
Dad.
243
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,614
What is it? Gaah!
Look. Ohh! Ehh!
244
00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:20,183
Holy!
245
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:21,884
I found a snakeskin.
246
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:25,509
Hah! It was fun.
You see the fun?
247
00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:33,629
Dad, did you know the deadliest
snake in the world is a carpet viper?
248
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:36,132
It has enough
poison to kill ten men.
249
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:39,202
Brad, has that exterminator
found anything down there?
250
00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:40,636
Not yet.
251
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:43,372
Damn. Honey, what's
taking him so long?
252
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:45,141
Tim, we have a
yard full of children.
253
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:46,909
We're supposed to
be setting an example.
254
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,811
You have got to calm
down. Have a cookie.
255
00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:50,546
Hot cookie! Hot cookie!
256
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,314
Sorry, sorry.
257
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:54,984
Dad, the exterminator
wants to borrow a screwdriver.
258
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:57,820
You know where they are.
Open it and get it yourself.
259
00:12:57,844 --> 00:12:59,889
No. You always say
not to touch your tools.
260
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,490
You better get it, Mom.
261
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:04,326
What's he want, standard,
Davis, Phillips, flathead, what?
262
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:05,828
Flathead.
263
00:13:05,852 --> 00:13:07,485
All right.
264
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,605
Find the snake?
265
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:19,341
Sorry, did my best,
but I didn't find a thing.
266
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:22,544
Nothing cool ever
happens around here.
267
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:25,014
Randy... You're telling me
there's not a snake in this house?
268
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:27,516
It probably moseyed
on back outside.
269
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,652
That happens nine
times out of ten.
270
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,720
Nine times out of ten.
271
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:33,622
Uh-huh.
272
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,892
What happens the other time?
273
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,994
Heh-heh. I tell ya, it's funny.
274
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:39,896
Those snakes.
275
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,485
Yeah, they pop
right up out of the
276
00:13:41,509 --> 00:13:43,565
strangest places. Boy,
I could write a book.
277
00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:48,504
Oh, yeah, I've seen 'em
curl up inside of teapots.
278
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:50,639
Oh, there was one time...
279
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:53,631
popped right up
out of the toilet.
280
00:13:58,104 --> 00:14:01,184
Of course, like I
said, that's rare.
281
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:03,252
Hah. Besides, you don't
have anything to worry about.
282
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,955
Judging from that skin your
boy found, it's not poisonous.
283
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:08,424
Well, I'll see you, folks.
284
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:12,028
Wait. Wouldn't you like to
stay and have a cup of coffee?
285
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:14,864
I got lots of appointments.
Well, toodle-oo.
286
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:15,965
Bye.
287
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:18,901
Mom, Jimmy Wagner
wants to go home.
288
00:14:18,925 --> 00:14:19,969
Why?
289
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,370
He got the death card.
290
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:22,994
Brad! Randy!
291
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,142
Come on, don't be a weenie.
292
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:28,510
Everybody's gotta die sometime.
293
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,646
Hey, guys, get away from him.
Come on, go back in the house.
294
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:32,949
Go back in the house.
295
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,217
You all right?
296
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:35,852
I don't wanna die.
297
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:37,153
Aw, come here.
298
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,888
You're not gonna die.
299
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:40,857
But I got the death card.
300
00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:42,225
Oh, forget the death card.
301
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:44,227
I got two death cards
today, and I didn't die.
302
00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:46,863
They were teasing
you. But I'm scared.
303
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,397
Oh, boy, come here.
304
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:51,300
Everybody's scared of something.
305
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:53,035
Are you ever afraid?
306
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,703
My dad's never afraid.
307
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,240
He's the bravest man
in the whole world.
308
00:14:57,264 --> 00:15:00,843
You guys, all of you,
even brave guys get afraid.
309
00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:04,280
You know what a brave
man does when he's afraid?
310
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:05,647
What?
311
00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:09,651
He scares away fear.
312
00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:13,022
Jimmy, you gotta be
scarier than fear itself.
313
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,456
That's what you gotta do.
314
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,791
How do you do that?
315
00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:19,929
Well, look at me. Get
a real ugly face on. Grr.
316
00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:22,231
Pretty ugly, huh? Arr.
317
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,533
And you look at fear,
and you go... you grunt...
318
00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:26,202
Arr-arr-arr!
319
00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:27,970
Can you try that?
320
00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:29,471
Eh-eh.
321
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:32,041
That would work if
you had just a little fear.
322
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:34,277
It's a big fear. You gotta get
a deep-down, manly grunt.
323
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:35,878
Mark, show him
what I'm talking about.
324
00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:37,713
Arr-arr-arr!
325
00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:40,449
See how scary that guy
looks. You guys try it. Arr.
326
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:42,818
Arr-arr-arr-arr!
327
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:44,954
Very good, very ugly.
328
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:47,023
All right, try it.
Gimme one good one.
329
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,090
Arr!
330
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,793
I need a real good two in row.
331
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,128
Arr-arr!
332
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:54,063
All right, three in
a row, let's do it.
333
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:55,364
Arr-arr-arr. Arr-arr-arr.
334
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:56,365
Come on, guys.
335
00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:57,533
Arr-arr-arr-arr.
336
00:15:57,557 --> 00:16:00,336
There's no fear here!
Get out of here, fear!
337
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,204
(all) Arr-arr-arr.
338
00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:03,306
Dad!
339
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:04,673
Uhh?
340
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,909
Mom wants you to order pizza.
341
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:09,511
(all) Pizza!
342
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:11,747
Hey, you guys stay out
here and practice grunting.
343
00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:12,915
I'll get the pizza!
344
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,150
Arr-arr-arr-arr!
345
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:15,451
Arr-arr-arr-arr!
346
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,786
Number for the pizza
place is by the phone.
347
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,178
Thanks, Jill. Ohh...
348
00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:25,794
Hi. How many
pizzas will we need?
349
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,264
Uh, four large, but
get different toppings.
350
00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:32,701
All right. I need four larges
with two meat... hold on.
351
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,903
Is anybody allergic
to anything out there?
352
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:38,374
Jimmy's allergic to
everything. Am not.
353
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,176
All right, all right.
354
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:44,981
Apparently we need a big cheese
pizza with decongestant all over it.
355
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,483
I'm kidding around, fella.
356
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,986
All right, two cheese, one with
pepperoni and sausage on...
357
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:53,389
Aah! A snake! That is
a snake in my house!
358
00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:55,691
It's right there.
That is a snake.
359
00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:57,360
OK, everybody quiet down.
360
00:16:57,384 --> 00:17:00,329
Tim, hang up. I'll call the
exterminator on the other phone.
361
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,220
Ahh... ahh.
362
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:05,701
Ohh...
363
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:08,137
Why don't you get
the snake out, Dad?
364
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:10,239
Why don't you shut up, Randy?
365
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,941
(all urge him on)
366
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,543
Hey...
367
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,879
Dad, just stick your
finger in the light.
368
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:19,115
When the snake
bites it, pull him out.
369
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:22,284
Heh. Can we talk for a minute?
370
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:24,286
Maybe you didn't
hear Dad the first time.
371
00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:26,688
Shut up.
372
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:28,824
OK, I've got the
exterminator on the phone,
373
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,326
but he says he can't
come for an hour.
374
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:32,995
An hour? We're is he gonna
crawl in an hour? Who knows?
375
00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:36,332
OK. He says that you
should look in the light fixture
376
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,334
and see if the
snake is still there.
377
00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:40,269
Right. Can I talk to
him for a minute? Yeah.
378
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:43,039
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Oh. You're right.
379
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:46,475
He says you're supposed to look in the
light fixture and see if it's still there.
380
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:49,478
Me? Oh, no, no, no, no.
I think you should do it.
381
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:50,812
I'm so busy right now.
382
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:53,516
Tim, get over there and
look in that light fixture.
383
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,784
I don't want to.
384
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,686
Go ahead, Mr. Taylor.
385
00:17:57,710 --> 00:18:00,189
You're not afraid,
are you, Mr. Taylor?
386
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:02,024
My dad's not afraid of anything.
387
00:18:02,048 --> 00:18:04,815
Show 'em, Dad. Show
'em you're not scared.
388
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:13,602
Ar-ar-ar. Let's get
ourselves a snake.
389
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,003
(all cheer)
390
00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:17,873
All right, all right.
Cub Scouts, outside.
391
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:21,610
Yeah. Right. All right, thanks.
Yes, thank you, thank you.
392
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:25,114
Brad, I need a pillowcase
out of your bedroom. Hurry up.
393
00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:27,916
OK, what did he say?
394
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,419
Says reach in that
little, tiny opening,
395
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:34,356
get that little, tiny snake by
the back of his little, tiny neck,
396
00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:36,125
pull him out of
that little, tiny hole,
397
00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:38,527
and put him gently
in a pillowcase.
398
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:39,962
You're gonna do that?
399
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:41,597
That's his plan.
400
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:42,820
My plan...
401
00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:48,704
I'm gonna rip that light
fixture right off that wall,
402
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:50,939
shove that into a pillowcase.
403
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:54,543
All right. Brad, stand
right there under the light,
404
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,579
and I'll jump that
snake right in there.
405
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:58,314
No way.
406
00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:01,450
What do you mean, no way?
Come on, Randy, help me out.
407
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,773
Heh-heh. Forget it.
408
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,155
Huh?
409
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:08,224
OK, I'll do it.
410
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:10,392
Does that make you
happy your mom's doing it?
411
00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:12,394
Fine by us.
412
00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:14,418
Thanks, guys.
413
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:21,703
Ready?
414
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:22,893
Ready.
415
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:24,940
Calm?
416
00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:27,931
No, I can't.
417
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,447
Oh...
418
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,882
Arr-arr-arr. Arr-arr-arr.
419
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,374
Arr-arr-arr. Arr-arr-arr.
420
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:47,363
Jill, Jill, Jill. I got it.
421
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:48,730
Arr-arr-arr!
422
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:51,074
Oh, I got it, I
got it, I got it.
423
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:55,404
Yes-sas.
424
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:57,295
Arr-arr-arr!
425
00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:01,109
(sighs)
426
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:04,146
There it is, boys.
427
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:06,549
Plan your work, work your plan.
428
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:09,740
The key to success. Heh-heh-heh.
429
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:14,923
Dad.
430
00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:15,924
Yeah.
431
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:18,594
There's a snake behind you.
432
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:20,017
Oh, I bet there is.
433
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:29,471
Dad, he's serious.
It's right behind you.
434
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:31,895
Did it have the card
of death in its mouth?
435
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:37,379
You know, guys, I fell
for that trick this morning.
436
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,415
Toolbox, remember that?
437
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:42,218
And you can take a practical
joke too far, you know that?
438
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:45,387
Dad, we're not joking.
It's moving towards you.
439
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:48,746
Why don't I open my shirt
and let him crawl right in?
440
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:55,297
Tim, the snake
wasn't in the bag.
441
00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:58,100
Because the
snake is in my shirt!
442
00:20:58,124 --> 00:21:01,259
Aah!
443
00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:13,382
Here you go, hon.
444
00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:14,483
Hey. Thanks.
445
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:16,017
How you feeling?
446
00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:18,108
Stupid.
447
00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:24,893
Felt like a jerk in front of
those Cub Scouts today.
448
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:26,562
Aw, they had a great time,
449
00:21:26,586 --> 00:21:29,820
and they learned some
colorful new vocabulary.
450
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:34,303
Here, Dad. I made this for you.
451
00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:35,904
What is it?
452
00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:38,574
It's a snake badge for bravery.
453
00:21:38,598 --> 00:21:41,943
Hey, that's very impressive.
454
00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:44,480
Would you wear it
on your TV show?
455
00:21:44,504 --> 00:21:46,081
You bet I would.
456
00:21:46,105 --> 00:21:48,884
(kiss) You're a good kid.
457
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:51,754
Good night, Dad. Good night.
458
00:21:51,778 --> 00:21:53,822
Good night, Mommy.
Good night, sweetie.
459
00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:55,090
(kiss)
460
00:21:55,114 --> 00:21:57,660
Good night, Mommy.
461
00:21:57,684 --> 00:22:01,463
My youngest son gave me
a snake badge for bravery.
462
00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:05,801
Well, you did get
rid of that snake.
463
00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:07,636
Yeah, but in all honesty, I
couldn't have done it without you.
464
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,371
I think it's yours.
465
00:22:09,395 --> 00:22:11,940
Well, we'll share it.
466
00:22:11,964 --> 00:22:15,611
You know, I think we
deserve a little pampering.
467
00:22:15,635 --> 00:22:17,479
Hmm?
468
00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:21,750
How would you like to have
a nice, hot bath with bubbles?
469
00:22:21,774 --> 00:22:24,286
I'd like that... Bubbles.
470
00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:26,210
Ha-ha-ha.
471
00:22:45,130 --> 00:22:46,241
Ehh.
472
00:22:46,265 --> 00:22:47,765
(rings) Whoa!
473
00:22:59,512 --> 00:23:03,425
(woman) Now, we've
already seen his hand...
474
00:23:03,449 --> 00:23:05,293
(man) All right.
475
00:23:05,317 --> 00:23:07,496
In 5...
476
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,186
5, 4...
33858
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