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1
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,850
Welcome to the Taylor home.
2
00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:17,254
We're about ready to start that
second half of this fantastic game,
3
00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:19,556
Green Bay Packers,
Minnesota Vikings. Ar-ar-ar!
4
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,391
Before we go down to the field,
5
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,460
let's check out
that snack situation.
6
00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:25,762
Mark, take it away.
7
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:28,298
Pretzels, licorice, pork rinds.
8
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:31,134
Yeah. That's three major
food groups right there...
9
00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:33,303
salt, sugar, lard.
10
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:37,874
All right, today, I got
cold brewskies for me,
11
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:41,178
ice-cold root brewskies
for my boys. Dad...
12
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:42,745
Here's the chips.
You got it, buddy.
13
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:43,746
Go long.
14
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:46,004
Nice pass, kid.
15
00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:52,344
Dad, you're turning all red.
16
00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:01,498
Heh-heh-heh. Ha-ha.
17
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,866
There's a warning
label right there.
18
00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:07,370
You shouldn't open these
in broad daylight in Detroit.
19
00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:09,439
Could cause an explosion. Ha.
20
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:13,543
Wow, look at this
warning label...
21
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:17,147
socks may strike
husband unexpectedly.
22
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:19,182
You could put an
eye out like that.
23
00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:21,485
Boys, help me clean this mess up.
Second half's about ready to begin.
24
00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:22,719
Here, hurry up!
25
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,721
Listen, don't get too
involved in that, Tim.
26
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,723
We have to get ready to go soon.
27
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,225
Go? Where we going?
28
00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:30,693
Dinner. Tonight. Chez Pierre.
29
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:32,996
That can't be tonight.
30
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:34,531
It most certainly is.
31
00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:36,032
What about the big game?
32
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:38,067
What have you been
watching all this time?
33
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:41,505
This is the little game
right before the big game.
34
00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:43,406
The big game's the
Rams and the Lions.
35
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:45,008
Why didn't you remind
me about dinner?
36
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:47,010
Now don't pull that.
37
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:49,346
I asked you yesterday if you reconfirmed
the reservations, and you said, "Uh-huh."
38
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:51,581
I said, "Were they for
7:00?" You said, "Uh-huh."
39
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,250
I said, "Did you get the
baby-sitter? You said, "Uh-huh."
40
00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:55,118
I guess that means you
didn't get the baby-sitter, huh?
41
00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:56,786
Uh-uh.
42
00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,788
Unbelievable.
43
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:01,291
I completely forgot.
44
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:05,195
We can't get a
baby-sitter at this late hour.
45
00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:09,098
This is a tremendous
disappointment to me.
46
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:10,233
Yeah, I'll bet it is.
47
00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:12,702
This was supposed to
be our romantic night out.
48
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:14,371
Hey, romance? I got it.
49
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:16,540
Why don't you and I go upstairs,
50
00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:18,608
turn the lights
down, sit in bed,
51
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:21,844
bottle of wine, and we can
watch the game up there!
52
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,414
You're not getting out of this
53
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:26,416
without anything
short of pneumonia.
54
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,219
(coughs)
55
00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:31,954
Boy, it's funny
you mentioned that.
56
00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:34,813
This morning, I horked up
something nasty-looking.
57
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:39,663
It shot right out of my lungs.
58
00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:43,121
Well, suck it back in.
We're going to dinner.
59
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:45,168
Whoa.
60
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:46,869
(Mark whistles)
61
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,871
You don't whistle
at guys, you doofus.
62
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:51,708
You can when they look
as handsome as your daddy.
63
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:54,010
Looking pretty good
yourself, sweetheart.
64
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:56,379
(making gagging
and coughing noises)
65
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,615
Please.
66
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,750
Put a lid on it.
67
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:03,320
Who'd you get to
baby-sit for us? Linda?
68
00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:06,523
No. She finds you
boys a little... active.
69
00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:09,593
Good. She smells.
70
00:04:09,617 --> 00:04:11,661
Did you get Allison?
71
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:14,764
No, honey. She's busy,
but she sends her love.
72
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:16,766
(kissing sounds)
73
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:19,936
Stop that. Sit, sit.
74
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,538
Then who'd you get?
75
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:23,373
Well, I found someone new.
76
00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:24,374
(doorbell rings)
77
00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:26,509
Oh, go, go!
78
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:28,878
Tim! Go get the door!
79
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:32,704
Please turn off the television!
80
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,052
Mrs. Taylor? Yes.
81
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:37,420
Sir Larry Houdini,
82
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,889
world's second-greatest
escape artist
83
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:43,059
and magician extraordinaire.
84
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:46,663
Hey, you're great. I saw you at
Chris Johnson's birthday party.
85
00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:48,398
Oh, lovely little girl.
86
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:49,832
Chris is a boy.
87
00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:52,123
Strange little boy.
88
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:58,608
But tell me, where are
the birthday balloons,
89
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:01,344
funny party hats, the pony ride?
90
00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:05,047
Well, actually, no one
here is having a birthday.
91
00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:07,417
You told me on the
phone it was a birthday.
92
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,686
Yeah, I know. I
lied. I'm so sorry.
93
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:12,389
I was desperate. My
husband didn't get a baby-sitter
94
00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:15,057
and I called everybody I
knew and everybody was busy.
95
00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:16,826
Couldn't you just please stay?
96
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,395
Never. Never.
97
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:22,365
Sir Larry has
performed prestidigitation
98
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:25,001
before prime ministers,
heads of state,
99
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,837
two kings and a cranky duke
100
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:34,143
and never once has he stooped
to baby-sitting to make ends meet.
101
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:38,014
♪ Happy birthday to you
102
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:40,817
♪ Happy birthday to you
103
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,885
♪ Happy birthday...
104
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:45,121
♪ Your names here
105
00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:48,090
♪ Happy birthday to you
106
00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:50,126
Thank you so much. You don't
know what this means to me.
107
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:52,629
Well, boys, the
performance is about to start,
108
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:56,833
so would you please help Sir
Larry in with his magical trunk?
109
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,035
Uh, Jill, hold on a minute.
What's going on here?
110
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:02,405
I'm sorry. Sir Larry,
this is my husband Tim.
111
00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:05,174
Tim, this is Sir Larry, the
baby-sitter. How you doing?
112
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,743
And magician extraordinaire.
113
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:09,746
I bet you are,
Larry. Uh, Jill...
114
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:13,350
you got a magician
to baby-sit my boys?
115
00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:16,386
Perfect. Perfect.
116
00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:19,522
Sir Larry, the number where we
are at the restaurant is right here.
117
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,458
Call us if you
have any problems.
118
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:22,559
Whoa!
119
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:23,660
What happened,
Brad? What happened?
120
00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:26,629
Lions just recovered a fumble!
121
00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:27,664
Yes!
122
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:29,298
OK, goodbye, boys.
Goodbye, Sir Larry.
123
00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:30,933
Let's go, Tim.
124
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:32,869
We should stay
and watch a trick.
125
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:35,705
It's not gonna
work, Tim. Let's go.
126
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:39,876
Oh, my wallet. Left it
over there by the TV.
127
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,678
I've got credit cards!
128
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,680
Do ya?
129
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:46,315
Oh, my medicine's
up by the TV upstairs.
130
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,451
You don't take medicine.
131
00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:52,110
Oh! I should take some. I'm
feeling a horker coming on.
132
00:06:55,982 --> 00:06:58,595
This is so romantic.
133
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:01,030
And you have to admit,
it's a beautiful place.
134
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:04,367
A beautiful place for
a beautiful woman.
135
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:06,436
Oh, thank you, sweetie.
136
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:09,071
I really, really do
appreciate this.
137
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:12,008
I know it was hard for
you to leave that game.
138
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,110
Game? What game?
139
00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:17,113
Excuse me, sir. Can you tell
me where the ladies' room is?
140
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,481
Down the hall to the left.
141
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:20,383
I'll be right back.
142
00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:24,287
And I'll be right
here, Jill. Right here.
143
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,177
I'll be right here.
144
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:32,028
Could you give me a
hand with this thing?
145
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,596
Is that a radio?
146
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,565
Yeah. You got the game on?
147
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,255
Got the game on.
148
00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:40,169
I want to get that
second quarter
149
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:41,905
before she gets back
from the bathroom.
150
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:43,807
Oh, man, this is
absolutely brilliant.
151
00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,229
Thanks, buddy.
152
00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:49,946
So what's happening?
153
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,114
Hold on a minute. Hold on.
154
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,617
There we go. Yes!
What, what, what?
155
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,119
Some kind of interception.
They're inside the six. First and goal.
156
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,788
All right. What's the score?
157
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,156
Hold on, hold on.
158
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,858
Riley's in motion. Uh-huh.
159
00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:04,026
Rodney Peete's back,
he's back... Jill's back!
160
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,929
Hi, Jill!
161
00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:09,120
Did you miss me?
162
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,703
Sure, I missed you.
163
00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:16,172
Are you OK?
164
00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:17,841
Oh, yeah.
165
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:20,844
You ever twist
your neck real fast,
166
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,879
get one of those cricks?
167
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:25,047
Well, I got that.
168
00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:28,351
Do you want me to rub it?
169
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:30,687
Your neck. My neck?
170
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:34,290
No. If I put my hand like
this, it feels much better now.
171
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:37,494
OK. Ooh, look at this.
172
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:41,197
"Endive soufflé prepared
with mushrooms."
173
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,221
Yes!
174
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,427
Mushroom, mmm.
175
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:54,410
Tim... you don't like mushrooms.
176
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:57,747
At home, no. But
here, you know, they...
177
00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:59,448
there are oils and stuff here.
178
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,083
Oh, look, look. They have
your favorite... trout almandine.
179
00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:02,607
All right!
180
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:05,955
What happened?
181
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,647
I'm having the trout!
182
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:18,034
Tim, would you like to tell me what's
going on, why you're sitting like that?
183
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,068
My neck.
184
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:20,770
Perhaps I should look at it.
185
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:22,438
No, no. From the naked eye,
186
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:24,473
it would look like
any other neck,
187
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:27,343
and cricks are
generally inside necks.
188
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:28,377
Gimme your hand.
189
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,412
Hey, look at that.
190
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:30,413
Gimme your other hand.
191
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:31,970
I don't want to.
192
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:38,254
Oh, Tim, gimme the radio.
193
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,823
I wasn't gonna listen
to the whole thing.
194
00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:43,960
Would it help if I
said I was sorry?
195
00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:45,028
It might. I'm sorry.
196
00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:47,163
It didn't. Is this the volume?
197
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:50,254
Aah!
198
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:55,672
That's it, boys. Nice and tight.
199
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:58,641
Sir Larry loves a challenge.
200
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:01,210
This is too cool.
201
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,879
Oh, thank you, milad.
202
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:05,181
Do we get to stick
swords in the box?
203
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:07,383
Sword in the box...
fantastic illusion.
204
00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:10,987
Sends the mind reeling
and the pulse racing.
205
00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:12,677
I don't do it.
206
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,593
Why not?
207
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:19,195
Too easy.
208
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,463
Now, then, milad,
209
00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:24,200
will you kindly assist
me into the trunk?
210
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,635
Thank you.
211
00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:30,172
Now you will close
the trunk and lock it.
212
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:31,540
When I give the command,
213
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:34,677
you will set the
timer at ten seconds.
214
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:36,679
And when the timer goes off,
215
00:10:36,703 --> 00:10:39,504
I shall appear
at the front door.
216
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:44,954
I don't know. Ten
seconds isn't very long.
217
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:49,592
To you, but to Sir Larry,
ten seconds is an eternity.
218
00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:55,632
Now, boys, prepare
to be astonished.
219
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:58,757
Close the lid!
220
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:07,443
Is the trunk securely locked?
221
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,145
Yes, it is.
222
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:13,404
Then set the timer
and stand back!
223
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:19,878
(grunting and straining)
224
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:38,908
Sir Larry!
225
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:41,299
Boys!
226
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,738
Reset the timer!
227
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:52,989
You know what you are,
Tim. You are a sports addict.
228
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:56,392
I am not. I like sports. I
have a very healthy interest.
229
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,194
But I am not an addict.
230
00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,751
(staff cheering)
231
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,766
Is that the Lions'
game on in there?
232
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:06,302
Yes. That's why
service is a little slow.
233
00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:08,537
The staff have a
television in the kitchen.
234
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,721
Hey...
235
00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:14,243
Did you get a score?
What's the score?
236
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,812
I'm not sure.
237
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:18,815
I know the Lions intercepted
a pass on the Rams' 20.
238
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:19,816
(both) Yes.
239
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:20,883
I bet it was Spielman.
240
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,284
Oh, Chris Spielman.
Awesome player.
241
00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,453
Last week, see him
against Minnesota?
242
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,055
See him? Man, I was there.
243
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,656
(staff reacts to play)
244
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,526
I can't take it. I've
got to see this game.
245
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:33,484
Honey, I'm sorry. I'll be back.
246
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:40,658
Heh-heh. Whoo, that
guy's got a problem.
247
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:50,379
Heh-heh-heh. That
guy is addicted to sports.
248
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:54,951
He is out of control.
249
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,819
And you're not?
250
00:12:56,843 --> 00:13:00,723
No, no, no. We're here to talk
about whatever you wanna talk about.
251
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:02,825
Well, that's good, 'cause
I wanna talk about us.
252
00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:03,893
Oh.
253
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,828
You now how we're
always talking about
254
00:13:05,852 --> 00:13:08,097
how we need to find more things
that we can do together for fun?
255
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:11,901
We always talk about it, but
we never do anything about it?
256
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,936
Let's do something
about it. Next weekend.
257
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,406
Monster truck rally
and tractor pull.
258
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:20,509
Well, gee, as much
fun as that sounds,
259
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:24,713
I was really thinking
more along the lines of...
260
00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:27,683
ballroom dancing.
261
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:29,207
Yeah.
262
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:32,521
Boy, that was my second choice.
263
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:34,623
No, no, really. I'm serious.
264
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,659
I think it would really be
fun to take dancing lessons.
265
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:39,043
Me? The king? Remember, college?
266
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:44,167
Tim, disco didn't
die. You killed it.
267
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:48,771
No, I'm talking about grown-up
dancing, Fred and Ginger.
268
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:50,306
I thought Fred married Wilma.
269
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,608
No. Ha-ha-ha.
270
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:53,609
You know what I mean.
271
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:55,511
You know, holding
each other close,
272
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:56,578
swaying to the music...
273
00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:58,781
♪ Gliding across the floor ♪
274
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:00,416
Gliding in public's not me.
275
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,984
We can take private
lessons, just you and me.
276
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,352
(guys in the back
react to the play)
277
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,554
Unbelievable!
278
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:07,857
Uh-oh. Come here,
you gotta see this.
279
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:10,759
Sanders just broke one for
50 yards around the right side.
280
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:13,930
They tackled him on the one.
We're gonna score! It's a first down!
281
00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:16,221
Happy anniversary, baby.
282
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:30,835
Honey...
283
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,550
would you like to go
and watch the game?
284
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:38,877
No, no. We were talking about...
285
00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:42,524
uh...
286
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,093
(both) Ballroom dancing.
287
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:45,394
That's...
288
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:48,231
(staff cheers)
289
00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:50,900
So, anyway, the lessons
are on Tuesday nights.
290
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:52,134
Uh-huh.
291
00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:54,370
And it doesn't really
cost very much.
292
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,905
(staff reacts to play)
293
00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:57,974
And, uh, I've been having
an affair with a space alien.
294
00:14:57,998 --> 00:14:59,475
Uh-huh.
295
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:02,278
Yep, I'm having his baby.
296
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:03,645
Uh-huh.
297
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:08,373
Go, go, go! Touchdown!
298
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:19,461
Honey... go.
299
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:22,365
I'm fine. I don't have
to see the game.
300
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:25,301
Trust me, it's OK. I
really want you to go.
301
00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:26,991
Thank you.
302
00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:33,009
(guys cheer in the back)
303
00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:35,433
(phone rings)
304
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:39,448
Hello? Hi, Mommy.
305
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:41,317
Guess what
happened to Sir Larry!
306
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:45,487
Mark! Don't tell her, stupid.
307
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:48,324
Why? We didn't do anything.
308
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,092
The guy's locked in a box.
309
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,395
Who do you think
she's gonna blame?
310
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:54,663
Uhh!
311
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:58,034
Hi, Mom. Yeah, we're fine.
312
00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:01,703
Oh, yeah, he's
excellent. A lot of fun.
313
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:04,228
Yeah, good tricks, too.
314
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,911
Um, now?
315
00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:11,847
Well, um, he
can't talk right now.
316
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:15,051
Um, he just can't.
317
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:17,320
She wants to talk to Mark.
318
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,322
That's because she
knows he'll squeal.
319
00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:22,992
I won't squeal. I promise.
320
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:28,819
Hello, Mommy. Brad and Randy
locked Sir Larry in the trunk.
321
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:35,237
Unh!
322
00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:36,238
Boys!
323
00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:37,940
It's OK, Sir Larry.
324
00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:41,444
If we get the trunk high enough
and drop it, it'll break open.
325
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:43,846
Please, let's not
be hasty, boys.
326
00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:47,116
Mom and Dad are home.
327
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:48,484
We're dead. Hide.
328
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,086
(Tim) Boys!
329
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,288
Randy! Mark! Brad!
330
00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:55,546
(Mark) Out here!
331
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:01,364
Mark, where is Mr. Houdini?
332
00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:03,232
In there.
333
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:05,701
Are you all right, Mr. Houdini?
334
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:08,204
I'm fine. The x-rays
335
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:10,906
may reveal otherwise, however.
336
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:12,341
Mark, where are your brothers?
337
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,609
I don't know, Dad.
338
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,911
(whispers) In the bushes.
339
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:18,114
Here, honey, get down.
340
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:20,449
Brad, Randy, come
on out, come on.
341
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:21,917
Come on right now.
342
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:23,919
I don't know what gets
into you guys sometimes.
343
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:25,621
What'd you stuff that
old man in that trunk for?
344
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:28,324
He told us to. Why would
he wanna be put in a trunk?
345
00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:30,959
But he did tell us to.
Yeah, he did. It's the truth.
346
00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:32,428
He's not...
347
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:35,064
The boys are speaking the truth.
They are completely innocent.
348
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:37,733
We'll talk about this in the
morning. It's bedtime now.
349
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,902
Come on, I wanna
see if he gets out.
350
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:41,937
No, no. I'll be up
there later. Go on.
351
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:44,173
Honey, we're in
some kind of trouble.
352
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,775
These are reinforced,
353
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:50,246
polycarbonate
American butt hinges.
354
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:55,084
Sir Larry, is there anything that
we can do, someone we can call?
355
00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:58,820
Yes, you can call my
son, Cyril the Magnificent.
356
00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:03,625
He has an extra set of
keys, and he's at 555-7653.
357
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:05,461
All right, I'll call right away.
358
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:09,331
Hang in there, Sir Larry.
Take real short, little breaths.
359
00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:11,967
(accordion bellows expand)
360
00:18:11,991 --> 00:18:13,269
Wilson?
361
00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:15,538
Howdy, neighbor. What
are you doin' over there?
362
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:17,739
Oh, just mending the
bellows on my accordion.
363
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:18,907
Cool.
364
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,509
What's in the trunk?
365
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:21,710
Famous magician.
366
00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:23,546
Oh, is he coming out of the box?
367
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:25,314
As soon as his son
comes over and unlocks it.
368
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:27,916
Not much of a trick, Tim.
369
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,718
Have you got a minute?
370
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,787
Sure, good buddy.
You got a problem?
371
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,755
Well, it's Jill.
372
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:37,493
I love her. She's the most
important thing in my life.
373
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:40,096
What did you do this time, Tim?
374
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:43,365
We went out tonight to
have a night just by ourselves,
375
00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:44,766
real romantic,
that kind of stuff,
376
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:47,403
and I spoiled it because
of a football game.
377
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,305
We won.
378
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:51,240
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
379
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:54,910
I don't know what it is about
football and me. I'm obsessed, I think.
380
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:57,679
Well, why do you
think that is, Tim?
381
00:18:57,703 --> 00:19:00,282
I think it's 'cause
I love it, Wilson.
382
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:03,319
I love the surprise and the
strategy and the strength
383
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:06,455
and the big guys with the
logos, the colorful helmets,
384
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,624
the shine of the pads
and the mouth guards,
385
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:13,061
the cleats, the hitting, the impact,
the swearing, the sweating! Ar-ar-ar!
386
00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:15,186
Ohh-ooh.
387
00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:19,201
It sets me free, Wilson.
388
00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:21,203
What you're describing, Tim,
389
00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:24,039
is what Aristotle
would call a catharsis.
390
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:27,809
Catharsis. How
do you spell that?
391
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,112
Let's just say an
emotional release, Tim.
392
00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:33,215
Bingo. That's what I feel,
393
00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:35,417
and I don't think
she understands that.
394
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:39,121
She doesn't have to. I'm sure there are
things about her that you don't understand.
395
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,623
You got that right.
396
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:43,292
You know that woman has
never had a haircut she liked?
397
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:45,394
Well, there you go.
398
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:47,263
And I go into her closet,
399
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:50,832
I see 19 pairs of black
shoes. What's that all about?
400
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:55,304
Well, Tim, different outfits
require different shoes.
401
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:57,406
You've got your pumps,
your flats, your espadrilles,
402
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:59,542
your open-toes, your
T-straps, your patent leather.
403
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:01,477
I could go on and on.
404
00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:02,878
I get the feeling you could.
405
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,280
The point is, you and Jill
406
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:07,249
don't have to understand
each other completely.
407
00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:09,185
What is important is to share
408
00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:12,154
and enjoy the things
you both do understand.
409
00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:15,724
That's exactly what she
was talking about, too.
410
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:19,361
Sharing. She wanted to
share... ballroom dancing.
411
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:22,130
Well, why don't
you give it a try? I...
412
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:24,333
As the ancient
Celtic saying goes...
413
00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:27,836
"Never give a sword to
a man who can't dance."
414
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:30,005
Uhh?
415
00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:31,307
Sir Larry!
416
00:20:31,331 --> 00:20:32,841
Still in here.
417
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:35,911
Yes, um, Cyril is on his
way over with the keys.
418
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:37,901
Oh, thank you, kind madam.
419
00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:46,021
Hi.
420
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:47,923
Hi.
421
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:49,625
About tonight, Jill.
422
00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:52,761
I know I was stupid. I
know I spoiled things.
423
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:54,763
I wanna apologize,
424
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:59,635
and I won't watch
all-day football anymore.
425
00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:04,273
What about Thanksgiving
and New Year's?
426
00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:06,697
Uh... half-day.
427
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:11,447
Or I'll cut out the pregame
show or something.
428
00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:15,651
I'll... just try not to
be so stupid about it.
429
00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:18,254
You'd do that for me?
430
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:19,843
In a second.
431
00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:25,728
Well, we can always
try and do it again.
432
00:21:25,752 --> 00:21:28,830
Go out some evening,
have some romance.
433
00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:33,101
Well, we're here, we're alone,
434
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:35,304
moon's full.
435
00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:37,172
It's pretty romantic.
What more do you need?
436
00:21:37,196 --> 00:21:40,898
(Wilson plays the accordion)
437
00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:51,019
Hey!
438
00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:52,488
No.
439
00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:59,060
(Sir Larry) ♪ I'll be
loving you always
440
00:21:59,084 --> 00:22:05,967
♪ With a love that's true always
441
00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:12,341
♪ When the things you
planned need a helping hand
442
00:22:12,365 --> 00:22:15,877
♪ I will understand
443
00:22:15,901 --> 00:22:19,915
♪ Always, always
444
00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:25,943
♪ Fate may not be fair always ♪
445
00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:29,525
Once you've cut the opening,
446
00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:32,361
you're ready to lay the
sink in there, right? Al?
447
00:22:32,385 --> 00:22:34,095
That's right, Tim.
448
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:38,434
Home improvement's not just
about renovating the kitchen.
449
00:22:38,458 --> 00:22:40,769
There's a lot of other
ways to improve your home.
450
00:22:40,793 --> 00:22:44,740
Always be aware of
your partner's needs.
451
00:22:44,764 --> 00:22:46,375
Take time out
452
00:22:46,399 --> 00:22:48,910
to share some special
time with your spouse.
453
00:22:48,934 --> 00:22:50,245
Right, Al?
454
00:22:50,269 --> 00:22:51,613
I'm not married, Tim.
455
00:22:51,637 --> 00:22:54,883
Well, if you
changed those shirts
456
00:22:54,907 --> 00:22:56,552
and get a haircut or something.
457
00:22:56,576 --> 00:22:57,853
I got a haircut.
458
00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:59,154
Get a better one, Al.
459
00:22:59,178 --> 00:23:00,689
OK.
460
00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:02,924
All right. We drop it on
three, huh? On three.
461
00:23:02,948 --> 00:23:04,159
1... 2...
462
00:23:04,183 --> 00:23:05,160
Unh!
463
00:23:05,184 --> 00:23:07,329
Hey!
464
00:23:07,353 --> 00:23:08,519
Al!
465
00:23:09,589 --> 00:23:12,523
(♪ romantic music)
33280
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