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1
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:14,518
All right, son, this is
an ordinary lawn tractor,
2
00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:16,520
and we have to Tim Taylorize it.
3
00:01:16,544 --> 00:01:21,280
So first we gotta remove this puny
12 1/2-horse Blade-O-Matic motor...
4
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:25,262
'cause we wanna cut lawn
maintenance time way down,
5
00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:26,763
so what do we need?
6
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:29,099
More power!
7
00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:31,101
You learn well, my little one.
8
00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:34,204
We're gonna
replace it with this,
9
00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:37,729
because this is more power.
10
00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:43,813
Wow.
11
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:45,715
Darn right, wow.
12
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:48,685
This is a twin-cylinder
1600cc motorcycle engine.
13
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,687
Normally aspirated
at 58 horsepower.
14
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:52,689
Your dad has
ported and polished it,
15
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:55,158
blueprinted the crank, and
balanced it all the way through.
16
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:57,494
Huh? It's got a reverse
gear... who needs it?
17
00:01:57,518 --> 00:02:00,319
Four forward gears
and a suicide clutch.
18
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:04,534
On a good clear day,
the ET on this bad boy
19
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:07,237
should be under 15
seconds at a quarter of a mile.
20
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:10,373
We can do zero to 60
in under 5.5 seconds.
21
00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:11,508
We gonna race it?
22
00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:12,509
You bet.
23
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:14,211
Soon as we install this bad boy,
24
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:17,136
we're gonna enter
the Indianapolis 500.
25
00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:21,084
By the time the rest
of the pack catches us,
26
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:24,421
we'll have won the race
and mowed the infield.
27
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,556
Want me to get you a towel, Dad?
28
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,558
Why would I want a towel?
29
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,727
To wipe the grease
off your hands.
30
00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:32,462
Grease is our friend.
31
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,631
When you work on a
heavy-duty machine,
32
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,633
you expect some
grease on your hands.
33
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:39,636
As a matter of fact, you like
grease all over, kind of like war paint.
34
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:42,038
Yeah.
35
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:45,208
Chief Spark Plug. Ar-ar-ar.
36
00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:48,211
We're gonna need a variety of
tools today, so you want to make sure
37
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:51,881
you get all your tools
lined up within easy reach.
38
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,783
What's this one?
39
00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:56,186
Ooh, man.
40
00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:59,889
That's my Tolan precision
engineered torque wrench.
41
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:02,759
See the gauge there?
Measures pounds per square inch.
42
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:05,762
You use this for all your delicate
bolts, like on the engine head
43
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:07,864
and when you bolt the
engine to the chassis there.
44
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:09,299
It looks old.
45
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:12,157
Oh, it's not old.
It's... it's experienced.
46
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:16,961
This is the Yoda of my
tool bench right here.
47
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:20,910
(mumbles) Yeah.
48
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:24,214
It's been in my family
almost 20 years.
49
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:27,083
My dad gave it to me, and
someday I'm gonna give it to you.
50
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:29,886
Gee, thanks, Dad.
You bet, buddy.
51
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,988
(men shouting on TV)
52
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:33,990
Death to the heathens!
53
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:37,260
And to all gladiators who jump
on my couch. Get off of there.
54
00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:39,062
Here's my stuff for
the rummage sale.
55
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:40,163
Oh, good, good.
56
00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:42,465
Spartacus, did you go
through your closet yet?
57
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:43,966
No, not yet.
58
00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:46,403
Would you please turn
off the TV and do that now?
59
00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:48,405
Mom, this is the bloodiest part.
60
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:50,407
Brad, this rummage
sale is a fund-raiser
61
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,409
to get your hockey
team new uniforms.
62
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,077
Now, turn off the TV now.
63
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:57,447
Aw, man!
64
00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:59,115
While Brad was
watching television,
65
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:01,318
I filled my box up to the top.
66
00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:02,652
Thank you, Randy.
67
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:05,188
It's nice to know I
have one perfect child.
68
00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:06,856
I do what I can.
69
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,292
(mocking) I filled
my box up to the top.
70
00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:11,994
Hey! Hey! Stop that.
71
00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:15,832
If I hear any fighting, there's
gonna be liver for dinner.
72
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,967
(both) Aah!
73
00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:21,170
(no audio)
74
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:24,441
Hi, Mommy. Look,
I'm all greased up.
75
00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:26,576
Well, how nice for you.
76
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,312
I think you missed a spot
right here on your nose.
77
00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:31,303
Good eye, Mom.
78
00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:36,253
So, this is the slight
adjustment to the riding mower
79
00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:38,187
you were talking about?
80
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,979
Slight 150-horsepower
adjustment, hon.
81
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:45,928
What do you think?
82
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,597
Well, with that engine,
83
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,599
you won't just be
cutting the grass,
84
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:52,269
you'll be sucking
it up by the roots.
85
00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:55,104
Why do you always come
out here and mess up my tools?
86
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:58,275
I'm sorry. I'm just
looking for the duck tape.
87
00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:00,810
It's not duck
"quack-quack" tape.
88
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:04,281
It's duct tape,
like heating duct.
89
00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:06,215
Well, excuse me.
90
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:09,608
(over-enunciates) Duct tape.
91
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:15,079
Excuse me while I rinse
the side of my face off.
92
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,462
It's right over there
on the pegboard.
93
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:23,433
What's it doing on the pegboard?
Shouldn't tape be in a drawer?
94
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:27,559
(sighs) Jill, this is a
garage, not Fabric World.
95
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,612
In a shop, tape hangs on a hook
96
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:37,814
because it has a hole in it.
97
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:41,818
So does your head, but
it's not hanging on a hook.
98
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,253
Borrow the tape. Promise me
you'll put it back where it belongs.
99
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:46,255
Of course I will. I always do.
100
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:47,557
Do you now? Yeah.
101
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:48,692
Recognize this?
102
00:05:48,716 --> 00:05:50,193
Spiral ratchet screwdriver.
103
00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:52,562
Found it under the sink this
morning. What was that all about?
104
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,564
Well, the ice was
all stuck together,
105
00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:56,700
and I needed something
to break it apart.
106
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,802
You're pounding ice with this?
107
00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:01,137
Yeah. It worked great.
108
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,972
Jill, this is a precision tool.
109
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,641
It's not an ice pick.
110
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,643
Tim, don't be silly.
Give me the tape.
111
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:09,846
No. How would you feel if I attacked
your little opera record collection
112
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,849
and used Madame Butterfly for a
Frisbee? You don't touch my records.
113
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,851
Right, because I
respect your space.
114
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,720
That's your space, your zone.
115
00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:19,188
This is my zone, my
sacred territory right here.
116
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,957
Oh, so, uh,
117
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:24,260
so this tool bench
is like your altar?
118
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:26,262
This is where I
pray to the tool gods.
119
00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:29,165
♪ Oy-ee-ha-ha, ee-ee-ha ♪
120
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:32,802
Gosh, I am so moved, I think I should
sing a chorus of "Amazing Wrench."
121
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,170
Don't do this.
122
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,673
♪ Amazing wrench
123
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,775
♪ How sweet the sound ♪
124
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,343
(whirs)
125
00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:43,513
(laughing)
126
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:46,716
Do you hear the
laughter right here?
127
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,886
Just promise me you'll ask
me if you want to borrow a tool.
128
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:50,887
OK, fine.
129
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,689
How much do you
swear? Oh, please.
130
00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:54,190
Come on, humor me. Tim...
131
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:56,192
It'll help me emotionally
if you do this.
132
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,527
Come on, stand up.
133
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:58,828
Stand up? Stand up.
134
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:02,131
Put your right arm up.
135
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:05,535
Put your left arm... Put
your left arm on the tool.
136
00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:07,492
The wrench? The wrench.
137
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,945
Repeat after me. I, Jill...
138
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:17,747
I, Jill...
139
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,905
(laughing)
140
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:28,658
I, Jill, swear on this Binford
cordless ratchet wrench...
141
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,960
swear on this blah-blah
blah-blah blah-blah wrench...
142
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:34,564
(both) Binford cordless
ratchet wrench...
143
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:38,968
that I will never touch my husband
Tim Taylor's tool bench ever again.
144
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,159
Ever again.
145
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:44,707
Touched it. Jill...
146
00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:46,876
Touched it,
touched it, touched it.
147
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,511
(laughing)
148
00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:51,614
Can you feel the anger
in this room right now?
149
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,372
You have irritated
the tool gods.
150
00:07:56,176 --> 00:08:00,089
You must now be smeared
with the holy grease of disdain.
151
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:02,759
Tim, don't you
even think about it.
152
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:03,760
Tim...
153
00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:04,928
Tim...
154
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:06,262
I'm no longer Tim.
155
00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:07,597
I'm Zortheus, the tool avenger!
156
00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:09,966
Aah!
157
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:13,525
I am Zortheus. Yah-ha!
158
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:22,278
Oh, no.
159
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,280
(Jill) Mark, honey,
come in here.
160
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:26,638
I have to wash you up for lunch.
161
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,275
Coming!
162
00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:34,724
(Randy) Mom!
163
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:36,280
(Jill) Yeah!
164
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:40,129
Have you seen my sneakers?
165
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:42,298
Yes, they're in the trash.
166
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:44,400
You can't throw those away.
167
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:48,204
Honey, it wasn't my idea.
The sneakers begged me.
168
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,639
They did. They...
169
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:52,308
(elderly voice)
Please, Mrs. Taylor,
170
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:54,711
let us go.
171
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:57,213
We're old, we're tired.
172
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,716
We smell.
173
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:02,385
Mom, these are my favorites.
174
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:03,620
Please?
175
00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:07,278
OK. Duct tape them up...
176
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:11,628
then you can have a month
to say goodbye to them,
177
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:13,329
and then it's a new pair.
178
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:15,364
Thanks, Mom. OK.
179
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:18,001
Mark, honey, I thought
you were helping your dad.
180
00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:19,068
No.
181
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:21,070
Well, I know that
he really likes it
182
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,705
when you help him.
183
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:23,973
Maybe later.
184
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:26,009
I'm gonna go play with my truck.
185
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:28,144
Oh. OK.
186
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:29,448
(door closes)
187
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:58,063
(♪ Steppenwolf,
"Born to Be Wild")
188
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:11,588
(Tim mouthing words to
tape) ♪ Get your motor runnin'
189
00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:15,157
♪ Head out on the highway
190
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:17,694
♪ Lookin' for adventure
191
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:21,698
♪ In whatever comes our way
192
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:24,634
♪ Yeah, darlin', gonna make... ♪
193
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:26,502
Hey!
194
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:27,870
How!
195
00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:30,962
So, what'd you do,
join Hell's Gardeners?
196
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,979
Pretty cool, huh?
197
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:39,181
All you need is a
tattoo... "Born to Mulch."
198
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:40,984
Yeah.
199
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:42,785
(imitates revving)
200
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,787
And, honey, you know what?
201
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,789
You could be my
lawn-mowin' mama.
202
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,792
You know, Tim, the only
reason that you're doing all of this
203
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,729
is 'cause your mother wouldn't
let you have a motorcycle.
204
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:54,731
She never let me have a dog.
205
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:57,722
You don't see me out here
rewiring a cocker spaniel, do you?
206
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:06,909
Where'd that go? What?
207
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:08,911
My torque wrench was right here.
208
00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:10,747
You weren't out here
this afternoon, were you?
209
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:12,882
Why? I'm missing
my torque wrench.
210
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,951
I don't even know
what a torque wrench is.
211
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:17,620
You weren't cracking
any ice today, were you?
212
00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:20,189
Oh, Tim, you don't
crack ice with a wrench.
213
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:22,191
You crack ice
with a screwdriver.
214
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:24,060
Cute, Jill.
215
00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:26,796
It's gotta be in here someplace.
216
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:29,699
I swear I have not
touched any of your tools
217
00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:32,035
since I took the
oath this morning
218
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:33,369
"always to ask,
always to return."
219
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:37,040
Well, somebody took
it and didn't return it.
220
00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:41,465
Whoever that somebody is
is gonna be in big, big trouble.
221
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:49,986
What's in this box?
222
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:51,988
The wrench is not in there.
223
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:53,990
That's stuff for
the rummage sale.
224
00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,992
There's nothing
but junk in there.
225
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:58,995
Junk? This is that swivel-base
cookbook holder I built you.
226
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:01,864
Is it? I thought you
said you lost this.
227
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,000
Well, I guess you found it.
228
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:05,389
Great.
229
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:11,908
Look. Look!
230
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:14,443
This is that hair
dryer I rewired for you.
231
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:15,978
Honey, I really loved it,
232
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:17,914
but it melted all
my hairbrushes.
233
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,683
Don't throw it out. Use
it for a space heater.
234
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:22,685
Tim, Tim, stop it, stop it.
235
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:25,788
Come on, honey, you're turning
the whole house upside down.
236
00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:28,324
That wrench has gotta
be around here someplace.
237
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:31,327
You know, it just didn't
get up and walk away, Jill.
238
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:34,197
OK, you're right.
I'm ready to talk.
239
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:36,966
I sneak down here at night,
240
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:39,435
take all your tools,
241
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,171
go out to the backyard,
put 'em in a big pile
242
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,129
and dance around 'em naked.
243
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:48,745
What time would that be?
244
00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:51,447
Sometime right
after you go to sleep.
245
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:55,752
Tim, do you want this
on regular cycle or fluff?
246
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:57,386
All right.
247
00:12:57,410 --> 00:13:01,190
Well... my tool.
248
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,392
It's all busted up.
The gauge is missing.
249
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:06,428
The dial's all bent.
250
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:08,430
How'd that get in the dryer?
251
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:09,899
I'll give you three guesses.
252
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:11,767
Y... Yeah.
253
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,903
You'll never take me alive!
254
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,271
Yah! Aah!
255
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,906
(Mark) Ow!
256
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:19,776
Mark, why are you
hiding back there?
257
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,244
I'm not hiding.
258
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:23,379
Yes, you are.
259
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:25,347
What'd you do?
260
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:28,117
You swear you won't
tell Mom and Dad?
261
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:31,720
Yeah, we swear, don't we, Brad?
262
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:34,056
Yeah. We swear.
263
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,859
So, what'd you do?
264
00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:39,896
I broke Daddy's torque wrench.
265
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:43,166
(sighs) Uh-oh.
266
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,902
Whoa. That is bad.
267
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:48,137
Real bad.
268
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:51,007
He broke a tool,
just like Peter.
269
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,809
Who's Peter?
270
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:56,434
He's our little brother we
used to have before you.
271
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:05,387
No.
272
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:07,389
He broke Dad's flashlight.
273
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:08,925
What'd they do with him?
274
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,149
They traded him in for you.
275
00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:14,330
They did not.
276
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:18,500
Well, nice knowing you.
277
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:21,971
Maybe this time we'll
get a dog instead.
278
00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:24,540
(Tim) Brad! Randy!
Mark! Where are you?
279
00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:26,909
What am I gonna do? Keep hiding.
280
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:29,901
They can't trade you
in if they can't find you.
281
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:34,250
Now, don't get crazy.
Remember, it's just a tool.
282
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:35,751
Just a tool?
283
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:38,254
20 years of my
family just a tool?
284
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:39,788
Were you looking for us?
285
00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:42,624
Yeah, front and center. Park it.
286
00:14:42,648 --> 00:14:44,994
We're missing
somebody. Where's Mark?
287
00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:47,330
We haven't seen him.
288
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:49,332
Now, boys, your
father has something
289
00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:52,101
that he wants to
talk to you about.
290
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,758
Calmly.
291
00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:59,308
Which one of you lug nuts
broke this torque wrench?
292
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,310
Tim, easy. Easy, easy.
293
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:03,479
I didn't break it,
you didn't break it.
294
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:06,849
Who's left? Butch and Sundance.
295
00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:08,851
Why are you always blaming us?
296
00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:12,621
Because we're always
guilty, aren't we?
297
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:14,490
Some people think we're nice.
298
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,525
Really? Name one.
299
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:19,528
Billy's mom thinks we're
perfect little gentlemen.
300
00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:23,072
Billy's mom thought she saw
Elvis yesterday at the gas station.
301
00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:31,140
What do you know
about the broken wrench?
302
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:33,932
We think you should
ask somebody else.
303
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:40,138
Yeah. Someone short and seven.
304
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:48,057
Wait. You're saying Mark had
something to do with breaking my tool?
305
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:51,627
Hey, we don't tattle
on some brothers...
306
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:56,321
who happen to be hiding in
the backyard like a coward.
307
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:03,139
Hey, hey, hey, you're quite
the climber there, little neighbor.
308
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:04,340
Hi, Wilson.
309
00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:05,841
You playing Hide and Seek?
310
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:07,276
Just Hide.
311
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,510
(grunts)
312
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:10,646
Anybody in particular
you're hiding from?
313
00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:12,748
My dad.
314
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,583
(Tim) Mark? Mark!
315
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:16,718
Promise you won't
tell him I'm here?
316
00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:19,844
Scout's honor. Mark,
where are you, son?
317
00:16:23,749 --> 00:16:25,861
Hi, Wilson. Looking for
Mark. Have you seen him?
318
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:28,197
Well, as the old
saying goes, Tim,
319
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:32,734
the acorn doesn't
fall far from the tree.
320
00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:35,404
Right, Wilson. I'm
looking for my son.
321
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,406
What I'm trying to say, Tim,
322
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,408
is sometimes, to
get what you want,
323
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,777
you have to go out on a limb.
324
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:44,513
I don't have time
for this, Wilson.
325
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,515
I'm looking for my boy.
326
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:49,318
(softly) He didn't want
me to tell you. What?
327
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,153
He's up in the tree. Oh.
328
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:53,417
Tim, I think he's
pretty unhappy.
329
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:58,127
(loudly) Well, Wilson, if you haven't
seen him, you haven't seen him.
330
00:16:58,151 --> 00:17:00,629
Thanks. Don't mention
it, good neighbor.
331
00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:03,565
Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark.
332
00:17:03,589 --> 00:17:06,602
Sure gonna miss him.
Probably ran away.
333
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:09,405
Boy, he's the
best darn assistant
334
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:12,096
a dad could ever have.
335
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:18,014
I don't think I can finish
that mower without him.
336
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:21,650
I don't think I'll be able to
rewire anything ever again.
337
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,874
Boy, could that kid grunt.
338
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:30,559
No matter where you are,
Mark, this one's for you.
339
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:33,029
Ar!
340
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,352
Ar!
341
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,000
The tree just grunted at me.
342
00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:39,502
No, it didn't.
343
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,504
Yes, it did. I heard it.
344
00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:43,005
No, Daddy. It's me.
345
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:45,974
Mark, what are you
doing up in the tree?
346
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,511
I did something bad.
347
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:51,280
You broke my tool,
didn't you, Mark?
348
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:54,405
It jumped right out of my hand.
349
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:58,120
It shouldn't have been in
your hand, though, right?
350
00:17:58,144 --> 00:18:00,589
I was just playing.
351
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,591
We've been through this before.
352
00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:05,661
My tools are not your toys.
353
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:08,697
I'm sorry I broke your tool.
354
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:11,233
It was an accident.
355
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,536
(sighs)
356
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,672
Accidents happen. It's
not the end of the world.
357
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:19,475
But when you break
something of somebody else's,
358
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,043
you gotta tell them.
359
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:24,902
Please don't trade me
away like you did Peter.
360
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,424
Peter?
361
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:38,827
The son you traded in for me.
362
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:41,297
What are you talking about?
363
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,299
The one who
broke your flashlight.
364
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,689
Don't you even remember him?
365
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:51,607
Where do you get idea...
366
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,942
Let me guess.
367
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,611
Brad! Randy!
368
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:56,967
(Brad) Book it!
369
00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:01,383
Mark... you want
to listen to this good.
370
00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:03,919
I would never trade
you for anything.
371
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:06,188
Really?
372
00:19:06,212 --> 00:19:08,346
Really. Come here.
373
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:17,600
You know that tape measure
that you could never find?
374
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,668
Go ahead. Tell me. You lost it.
375
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,670
No. Brad and Randy broke it.
376
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:23,661
Good to have you back, son.
377
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:27,843
Honey, the moment
we've been waiting for
378
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:30,078
has finally arrived.
379
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:33,282
Tim, you know, it's October. You
really don't have to cut the grass now.
380
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:35,284
Honey, I'm not
cutting the grass.
381
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:39,121
I'm just taking the Taylor 1600cc
lawn chopper out for a test run.
382
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:41,290
Honey, couldn't we
just call your mother
383
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:44,059
and ask if it's OK if
you have a motorcycle?
384
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:45,994
Jill, don't worry.
385
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,553
Got a helmet, seat belt.
What could happen?
386
00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:52,034
(Randy) Come on, Dad.
387
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:53,502
(Brad) Hurry up.
388
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:54,958
All right, boys.
389
00:19:56,663 --> 00:20:00,276
Prepare yourself for a new
age in lawn maintenance.
390
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:01,943
I think we all remember
391
00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:04,946
it used to take Dad hour,
hour 20 to do the lawn.
392
00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:07,871
With this bad
boy... a minute five.
393
00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:13,477
I'll cut this thing so fast,
it'll be afraid to grow.
394
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:18,527
Honey, did you put
hubcaps on the lawn mower?
395
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,862
Yeah! Why did you do that?
396
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,420
I don't know.
397
00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:25,434
Start the engine, Dad.
398
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:28,270
Yeah, pop a wheel! Yeah!
399
00:20:28,294 --> 00:20:30,372
Fire it up. Stand back.
400
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:33,942
I think this monster mowin'
machine is ready to come to life.
401
00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:35,277
All right, boys, inside.
402
00:20:35,301 --> 00:20:37,279
(boys) Aww! Hey!
403
00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:40,449
Brad, come on. Go,
go, go, go. (Randy) Mom!
404
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:44,153
You can't watch from the pit
area. (Jill) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
405
00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:52,461
Gentlemen, start your engines.
406
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:55,231
(engine rumbling)
407
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:58,234
(engine revving) Ar-ar-ar-ar-ar!
408
00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:00,636
(boys) Ar-ar-ar-ar-ar!
409
00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:04,172
Lawn ho!
410
00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:06,330
(crash)
411
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:11,736
I-I'm all right!
412
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,088
Al, now that we have
the fitting in place
413
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,424
between the two sections
of pipe, what's the next step?
414
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:24,693
Well, Tim, we'll be
sweating the pipe. Will we?
415
00:21:24,717 --> 00:21:26,094
That's right.
416
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,330
So, we'll put a little deodorant
right there on the elbow?
417
00:21:28,354 --> 00:21:31,166
I don't think so, Tim.
418
00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:33,168
But we do need
heat for this project,
419
00:21:33,192 --> 00:21:36,171
and for that we'll use the Binford
Burn Blaster 2000 propane torch.
420
00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:38,173
Want to grab the torch, Al?
421
00:21:38,197 --> 00:21:40,230
Comin' right up, Tim.
422
00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:46,448
Torch, please, Al?
423
00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:49,084
Uh, uh, give me a second, Tim.
424
00:21:49,108 --> 00:21:51,587
Al... we're on the air,
Al. We need that torch.
425
00:21:51,611 --> 00:21:53,255
I'm looking. I'm looking.
426
00:21:53,279 --> 00:21:55,257
This is a critical
part of the show.
427
00:21:55,281 --> 00:21:57,259
Thousands of viewers
waiting to see that thing.
428
00:21:57,283 --> 00:22:00,351
I'm trying, damn
it. I-I'm only human.
429
00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:04,166
Oh, relax. Come on, Al.
430
00:22:04,190 --> 00:22:06,735
Oh, look, it's right over here.
431
00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:08,737
Folks, this is a demonstration.
432
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:11,139
Don't... Don't try this at home.
433
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,975
I... I hid the torch from Al.
434
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:15,633
You what?
435
00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:19,581
I-I, you know, I didn't
mean to panic you.
436
00:22:19,605 --> 00:22:22,050
You hid the torch?
To make a point.
437
00:22:22,074 --> 00:22:24,720
And what point
would that be, Tim?
438
00:22:24,744 --> 00:22:27,845
You should always know
where your tools are...
439
00:22:29,382 --> 00:22:31,360
'cause otherwise you
could get pretty irritated,
440
00:22:31,384 --> 00:22:33,729
like you seem to be.
441
00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:35,653
Go ahead. Light the torch, Al.
442
00:23:05,651 --> 00:23:07,918
(♪ polka)
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