All language subtitles for Selfless.2018.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.GG - YTS.BZ]

Downloaded from
YTS.BZ

Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ

(students yelling)
(hiphop music)

- [Dave] It's kinda
like we're on a 20 year

human behavioral research
study and frankly,

we're all guinea pigs in
it, especially these teens,

and they don't even know
they're in the study.

So there's a lot of
complexities playing into this

and we really haven't
seen, I don't believe,

the full dynamic of
how it's gonna actually

hurt a whole generation.

(birds chirping)

(light music)

(gate creaks)

- [Kuki] Life, it seems such a little word

for something so infinite.

And the questions contained
within are simply endless.

Where is everyone going?

How are they finding their way?

What will they do when they get there?

I often hear adults say
life is complicated,

but I can't help but wonder,

is it people that make it that way?

My name is Kuki, sister to Isimbard

and daughter to Simeon and Miranda.

Together, we live off-grid

in the beautiful southwest of England,

sourcing all of our power
from the sun and the wind.

We live in a bender.

It's quite fairytale.

Made by taking hazel
poles, bending them over

and tying them in a dome.

It is insulated with blankets, duvets

and then covered with tarp
which makes it waterproof.

We put a burner in ours.

In the winter, sometimes it gets so warm

we need to open the door in
the middle of a snowstorm.

- So Kuki you're going to go and
do some pony work this afternoon?

- Yes, I'm going to do some harrowing.

- Okay, cool. - Yeah, because
it rained last night and it is
perfect weather. (machine squeals)

And it's sunny!
- It's sunny!

And you won't get wet.
- And I won't get wet.

(muffled voices)

One of the things I
adore here is the water.

Have you seen my new strawberry bed?

- No.
- We are so blessed

to drink from this spring
at the top of the land.

(laughs)

- Thank you, my love.
- Thank you.

Some might say I'm missing out on things,

being here on the top of the hill,

but I feel truly full.

(laughs)
- Should we go?

- [Kuki] So much at times, I feel like

I could almost touch the sky.

I'm surrounded by so much beauty

each time I walk out the door.

There's a spark that
guides me to gratitude

for all the earth provides
and sustains us with.

I wonder at times, are we
doing enough to give back?

And how far off the map
of life we have fallen.

I, too, have questions for the world.

(waves crash)

(muffled voices)

- Hmm.
- What'd you find?

- A message in a bottle!

- Oh cool, let's open it up at home.

- Okay!

(light music)

- [Ryan] Hi I am Ryan, I'm eight years old

and I have my own business.

I recycle bottles, cans,
glass, wine bottles and jars.

Some cans I crush in a can crusher

that we have in our garage.

Then we bag everything up
in big, tall green bags.

Then we take it to the recycling center.

Today we did that and I got $94.64.

So that's pretty much
how I do my business.

I feel sad that people just
throws it on the ground.

That's why I'm doing
the beach cleanup today.

It's fun to me.

They just think it's probably boring.

Like I'm just called to go in,

watch YouTube, do Snapchat, do Instagram

and do nothing really.

- Hi, Ryan!
- Hi, Ryan!

- How are you?

- [Ryan] These seals, sea
lions, elephant seals,

harbour seals, dolphins,
turtles and northern fur seals,

the Pacific Marine Mammal Center rescues

and I donate all the money
from these shirts and

it goes to them to buy food
and medicine for the animals.

- [Kuki] I write these thoughts
to some heart somewhere.

We are so blessed to grow in a universe

that wishes the very best for us,

providing everything we need
and only asking in return

that we leave this world a
better place than we found it.

So I ask what will you do?

(acoustic music)

- [Ryan] The earth has been
here for a very long time

and man for only an instant.

People need to understand
that little things

can make a big difference, like recycling

and helping the animals
who cannot help themselves.

The ocean is so vast, it brings us so much

and we must never take more than we give.

- [Kuki] There's just a
kind of wrong feeling in me

when we turn our internet on.

Is the WiFi box on?

People laugh at me, but I do feel it.

I'm not a scientist and perhaps
no one will hear my words,

but I know I feel most alive

when the earth is beneath my feet,

not when I'm lost in a screen.

- This is our WiFi box.

It's an extraordinary piece of kit

and it works at least 30% of the time.

It connects us to the
outside world of the internet

and the great thing about this

is we can turn it on
and we can turn it off.

And so we know that
when this is turned off,

we're not surrounded by
countless invisible waves

and, you know, there's not been much,

too much research done on that, I guess,

about what effect these waves have on you.

But I did hear one
really interesting thing,

that when animals hear kind
of strange sounds in nature,

they store their food in fat.

And in modern houses now, we've
got so many different sounds

and sounds of fridges,
WiFi, mobile phone signals

going around, that human
beings are actually

in a mild state of panic and stress.

And because of that mild
state of panic and stress,

they think that a natural
disaster is about to happen

and so find it more convenient

to store their food intake as fat.

So and it's supposed to be
one of the causes of obesity,

you know, as well as burgers
and chips, obviously.

But yeah, this is supposed
to be a contributing factor.

And I'm not really, I
don't know if it's true

and I'm not sure if having no
WiFi on makes any difference

to life at all, but it
certainly feels different.

I know that when we turn this box off

and we have a candle here at night

and there's no wires
going through the walls

that it just feels absolutely
beautiful and connected

and I really know, I feel that.

So yeah, it may not be a science thing,

but it's certainly emotionally healthy

when this box goes off.

- [Kuki] I do have concerns
about WiFi and mobile data

and what it's doing to
us, body, mind and soul.

Truth is, the answers are not yet known.

There are no studies or conclusions.

Reality is that we are all a part

of an ongoing experiment with technology,

and no one knows the outcome.

- They're okay, they're
fine from last summer.

So you'd want to put some.

Mm, those are good as well.

We can make quite a big jar.

We've got lots of rose petals.

- [Kuki] How odd is it
that we can send a message

with a little thought?
- Just try it.

- [Kuki] And instantaneously
to any place on this planet.

Yet people often hesitate to
knock on their neighbor's door

to just say hello.

- [Miranda] Full of love.

I think she'll like that.

- [Kuki] I fear people are
losing the gift of human touch,

many becoming slaves to
something we cannot see,

but hangs heavy in the air around us.

(giggles)

What are we reaching for?

(alarm sounds)

(light music)

- [Brittni] I'm Brittni Jessie.

Currently on tour with Leon Bridges.

Today, I'm going back
to Irving High School

where I graduated.

Memories wash over me as I think about

walking through these
hallways as a student.

I remember being bullied
and feeling bruised

like I wasn't good enough.

Probably with some of the
same insecurities you carry.

I wish I could tell you
that all those things change

'cause they don't, but you do.

We learned that high school is
a collection of fragile egos.

Me, I was able to go home and escape drama

at the end of the day, but
you guys are connected 24/7.

I can't imagine how hard it is to grow up

in this age of technology.

Come on, like, I had a flip phone.

I wanna know what things are
really like for kids today.

It's hard, I mean, how many
of you guys like wake up

in the morning and like
reach for your phone

and just look on social
media the whole time?

I mean, I did it this
morning, I do it every day.

Where I can't walk without it,

like, I have to walk with it

and it's sucks 'cause I've tried to

like take myself away from social media.

I was like, yeah, I'm
gonna do like three days.

Nah, that didn't even last.
(students laughs)

That didn't even last
like a half of a day.

It is brutal.

Any questions about
like social media today?

Like how does that affect you guys?

Seeing what you see like
all these celebrities?

- I just think like
everybody's worried too much

about each other and it gets too personal.

- Like all my social media's just fun

'cause like if I didn't
have it, I'd be bored

and like, so if I have it, I go,

I get a laugh out of it.

I mean, 'cause it's like fun.

It's not like they try to
like rip them to pieces.

It's just like, oh look at that.

So I think it's kinda fun.

So if I didn't have that,
the years would be like,

everybody would be bored all the time.

Because I think it brings
out the best in people,

kinda like their personality, so.

- Yeah, there's good things and,

there's a lot of good things,

but there's also a lot of bad things.

- Have you ever felt like personally

like you've been attacked on social media?

I mean, I feel like we've all
like gone through something

because we're using social media

and sometimes we like,

we kinda brush it off in front of people,

but then behind closed doors,
we're like that actually hurt.

I feel like everyone in this room

has probably experienced
that at least once,

where someone's, you know, like,

they just say the wrong things

and I feel like that's a huge
problem that we have today,

that we can't hold our tongue back

and we don't take in
consideration other people.

- Nowadays it's hard.

Everybody just wants to,

and I think it's like a
thing to look cool now

because, you know, you talk about people

and you make money off of it.

- I feel like something like
big with social media is like

your confidence, like how,
some people think that,

I know like myself included,

I have a really low self-esteem sometimes

and like I feel like I look better one way

if I'm on social media like

oh, if I use this, maybe
someone will like, you know?

And it's just like, it
sucks, that feeling,

'cause like, my mom always tell me,

she's like Gayla, like you're beautiful,

du du du du, like, you're
fine, like, you know?

And then it's just like
hard because I feel like

if people post this or if
someone doesn't like this or like

then you won't get noticed as much.

I feel like a lot of
people on social media

feel one way because people
don't accept them the other way.

- It sucks, like, in this industry.

It sucks because I don't dress
like the girls on Instagram.

Heck no, I'm too scared.

This is probably the most

like you'll see a lot of skin here.

I just, I can't get with it.

And I also think it takes
away from your self worth.

As male or female, you know, it's just,

you don't have to show all
your skin to please people.

I mean, to this day,
I'm like less is more.

- The challenging thing
is kids are doing selfies

at an alarming rate.

The average young woman is
doing 23 selfies in a week.

Average guy, teenage guy,
four selfies in a week.

Research shows that
teenagers will actually

in their lifetime do 25,700 selfies

and they're posting
likely two-thirds of them.

You know, because they want
their life to be journaled.

They want their visage to be noticed.

They want to be what I
call a micro-celebrity.

They want to be noticed for who they are

and have a sense of identity

because they have this
beautiful public persona.

The problem is they know in their heart

that it's kind of a lie

because they took 17 photos to get the one

that looks just perfect
with the right duck lip,

you know, I mean, just gotta
look just like the Kardashians,

you know, and get that duck lip going

because then I'll be
just cool, sexy and hot.

Well, it's a crazy thing they're doing

but they're living in this
artificial world of fantasy

that this is me, but they know

that the other 95 to 98% of
their life isn't perfect,

it isn't, you know, unblemished,

it isn't just the right lighting.

It's just normal me.

- Do you feel like there's
more pressure on girls

with social media?

Because like I know, like with my posts,

my sister, she gets way more likes than me

but she posts more like
skin and she tells me, like,

oh, well it's because you
post like fifth grader,

like, you're posting pictures
of you, but like it's boring.

And I'm like, well I
don't wanna post pictures.

Like I'm not, like I'm not like insecure

but like I'm not that confident in my body

so I don't wanna post,
like you said, like bikini,

like pictures of me at the beach or,

like I just wanna be
like I love this jacket,

I'm gonna wear it in every picture.

She's like, you're always
wearing the same thing.

I'm like, I'm sorry.

- Girls are on Instagram all the time.

It's, you know, the
number one downloaded app

and they're really into it

and they're following lots of people

and seeing lots of pictures

and there's good and
bad things about that.

And one of the bad things

is that they see a lot of
pictures that aren't really real

and they see a lot of
pictures where people are,

you know, in these sexy poses

that you really don't need to be posting

sexy pictures of yourself all the time.

So there's a lot of pressure I think

that maybe girls put on themselves

to look like the pictures
that they're seeing.

- Now what's happening is,

it used to start with just faces.

But if you're not, if you're insecure,

you're not getting enough likes,

you start dropping down.

And then you start, you know,
four out of 10 will say,

it's no problem is I show myself topless.

Okay, now, one out of six are saying,

it's no problem is I show
myself completely nude.

These are young teen women.

And so what happens is, if
I don't get enough likes

by doing my duck lips just right

or little sexy looks or innocent looks

that are supposed to draw people in,

then I'll just drop the camera

a little more and a little more.

Pretty soon, I'm completely topless.

Pretty soon, I start showing more.

Now I'm doing sexual poses on the bed.

Why?

Because there's this insatiable
desire to be noticed,

to be loved, to be appreciated,

and because the celebrities are doing it.

They're my models!

I quasi look up to them

and so I push the edge in my own world.

- [Student] Duck lips.

(students giggle)

So, my thing on the duck lips.
- Wait, do you do it?

- [Student] Oh, no, no, no.

(students laugh)

- I'm not judging.

- Duck lips?

I think people, it's just like a trend,

'cause now duck lips are
not even a thing no more.

It's the tongue out, like.

That's the thing.

But duck lips, like I
feel like once, like,

it's always the girls who have like

their little certain thing that
they follow from each other,

like out some tongue, and then duck lips.

Then before duck lips,
it was like the little.

That thing.
(muffled voices)

Like I don't know.

I just feel like it's a trend,

like everybody follow everybody.

- But it's because like,
when you do the duck lips,

or like you stick your tongue out,

there's no way that your face
is gonna like look crooked

or like, it's 'cause like,

it like makes your cheeks look better

or like you just look better that way.

- The camera goes to all y'all.

Y'all do the same thing.

Y'all hit the duck lips.

Y'all be like, oh my gosh, stop.

(students giggle)

- I'll be real honest on this,

but when I see a girl like doing duck lips

about a year or two ago,
I would be like, dang.

I feel bad for her.

Because like I feel like, and
it's not even funny anymore,

it's like a, I feel like
it was a sign of insecurity

because some girls be
having like chubby cheeks.

I mean, I don't blame them.

You know, I got some, too.

Chill out.

But, what's it called?

Some girls try to hide that
because they don't like it

because I guess it makes
them look bad or something,

but that's why I was like,

anytime I would see some
duck lips on a girl,

I'd be like, I feel bad,
but I'll give you a like.

- Okay, guys will acting all
big and tough on Instagram.

You know, like.

Like all that, so I guess
that makes them seem like,

you know, like, oh, I'm
a man, I'm independent,

but like maybe that's how girls feel like.

You know, like, when we do that stuff,

like, we're independent,
we feel cute, we feel.

I mean, I don't know, I just
feel like it goes both ways.

- I don't know if any
of y'all feel like this,

but at my house, what's it called,

sometimes social media, I hate it,

because the fact that your parents

are like trying to get into
the technology and everything,

like they're getting into social media,

they're using Facebook, like,
the old-fashioned stuff,

but like, say you're
eating as a family, right?

And it turns out your mom and dad

aren't really paying attention to you

because they're on their social media

or like your brothers or sisters,

they're not even communicating

because they're watching videos on YouTube

and you're over here
like, what's going on?

Like I'm trying to interact with y'all,

but y'all over here not paying attention.

- You're a guac.
- You're a guacer.

- Where did you get the hawthorn from?

From the planting there's
a dropping at the bottom.

- Got the day off work?
- No.

I could play.

- [Miranda] What's that?

It looks like some sort of fatty bone.

(dishes clacking)
(voices muffled)

Here you go, darling.
- Thank you.

- Thank you.
- The back piece is for

the chair.
- Sorry for leaning over you,

Izzi.
- It's okay.

- [Simeon] It's so nice
to work in that workshop.

- [Miranda] From doing
the silk and the darting.

- It was just, you know,
people would save up

their entire life.
- No.

- [Simeon] Yeah, you used to
fancy with it, didn't you?

- So much.
- Yeah.

- Winnifred Charity.
- How romantic.

- [Izzi] If you could
pick one salad, though.

- [Kuki] I've always looked
up to my brother, Izzi.

We don't feel one without the other.

Born with a love for music,

together we've created a
band, Kuki and the Band.

(guitar music)

(muffled music)

- [Kiera] I'm Kiera.

17 and graduating from high school.

I also have a part-time job.

Good boy.

(chuckles)

Loves his carrots.

You love your carrots, yeah you do.

I really love to be around horses

and I've been riding since
I was eight years old.

Another interesting part of my life

is that I'm a survivor
of childhood cancer.

At the age of 15, I was
diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma

and I've been fighting it ever since.

Although it hasn't been easy,

I've chosen to look at my diagnosis

as a blessing in disguise.

The significance of loving life
regardless of the hardships

became crystal clear to me.

I connected with other parts
of myself through painting.

Stroking vibrant color along a canvas

is incredibly soothing and it grounds me.

I had to let go of a lot of things

I thought were important to get better.

None of that matters.

You're worth way more than
who you think you need to be

and you don't have to feel
that you need to fit this mold.

Be who you are because you're so much

more interesting that way.

A hard part of cancer is my hair fell out,

my nails turned brown, my
skin turned funny colors,

my eyes grew tired and I
was riddled with scars.

None of these things considered
beautiful in society.

The truth is, strength and
resilience are beautiful.

Who made these definitions?

For a long time, social media had me sold

on the idea of what perfect is.

It felt good to question
this common opinion.

How are you doing?
- Good.

- [Kiera] Can't we all just be
done with defining ourselves

with what we see in social media?

Can't we all simply be
who we are offscreen?

My message to the world is life
is precious, don't miss it.

- How are things going for you now?

- They're a lot better.
- That's good.

- I've, yeah, I haven't had
a treatment since summer,

so things have been stable since

and it's just nice to get back into life.

- Yeah.
- But it's nice

because I'm getting back into it

with this whole new kind of
view of the world, though.

- Yeah.
- It's like this

sort of, I feel more awake and

alive a little bit.
- You have a huge like

different perspective.
- Yeah.

It's really refreshing
and I really like it

and I just, I don't know, I
look at the world so differently

and I realized how precious it all is

and it's nice to just
enjoy every little thing.

- And you can't take
anything for granted, right?

- No, no, you can't.
- Yeah, okay.

- One of the leading causes
of blindness in North America

is a disease called macular degeneration.

And macular degeneration is caused

by things such as blue light.

Blue light is causing macular degeneration

to occur at much younger ages.

So macular degeneration used to occur

when you're a lot older.

You're starting to see it younger

and you're starting to see it worse

than you ever saw it before.

And we believe the blue light
is gonna have such an impact

in this, that we don't know what

the next generation's going to be like.

We have five senses.

We don't realize how important vision is.

We just take it for granted.

And if you think about it, you know,

we're concerned about our teeth, you know?

We're so good about brushing our teeth

and we know we gotta floss.

Would you rather lose a tooth or an eye?

Losing your vision, the impact
on your life is so drastic.

Everything changes.

And one of the things
that I'll say to kids is

how much time do you think
you can spend on a screen

if you lose your vision?

(students chatting)

- [Josh] My name is Josh Hanford

and I was born in Regina, Saskatchewan.

I am an August baby and I don't remember

much about the birth itself.

However, I'm told I was born quite early.

A couple of things weren't working right,

some heart valves and my eyesight.

I suffered retinal detachment
issues due to my prematurity

and because of that, my
vision is extremely limited.

- [Teacher] Cell phones in the nest.

(marimbas music)

- [Josh] Funny thing is,

even with these physical impairments,

my heart beats strong
to the beauty I feel.

Music has always been a
strong focus for my life.

I began exploring music
on the piano at age six,

learning guitar at seven
and vocal lessons at nine.

My family tells me they
knew I loved to sing

from a very young age.

(upbeat music)

- Marimbas got here, we saw the way

the students were interacting with them

and then we knew we had struck gold.

And we were so grateful
for these instruments

because first of all,

it requires a kind of
a physical embodiment

to play these instruments,
they're very lateral instruments,

they're very powerful instruments,

so we really need to find our
feet, literally our grounding,

in order to play these instruments

and we need to be so well-balanced
physically to play them

and when we saw the way that
their physical structure

changed as they approached the instrument,

it was kind of the opposite

of how they sit at their
computers and their cell phones

and the opposite of that
collapse over the heart.

It was just so open and free

and I think that's when we knew,

we knew we had found our instruments.

When I look at teenagers

and everything they are trying to do,

their brains are trying to reorganize,

they're trying to individuate
from their families,

they're trying to find their identity,

they're trying to figure out
who they are in the world.

The current generation
is exposed to everything.

Everything is at their fingertips
at every moment of the day

through their technology.

It must be so overwhelming.

So there's the amount of time

that teenagers are spending
on their technology,

but there's also just the sheer amount

of useless information that's coming in

and their brains, they
don't yet have the wisdom

or the knowledge to know
how to filter that yet.

And they're not actually just sitting

and it's just an okay thing to do.

This is how I grew up.

Sometimes you just need
to sit and be bored

and wonder about things

and not be constantly filtering
mostly useless information.

I think there's reason
anxiety is on the rise.

I think they feel lost.

It's a weird paradox.

They're more connected,

but they feel more disconnected than ever.

(audience claps)

- [Josh] When I was in grade seven,

I composed a piece called
Darkness Into Light,

which is a musical depiction of my journey

as a visually-impaired person
living in a sighted world.

This piece was debuted at Carnegie Hall

in New York City in 2017.

And I'm told this makes me
one of the youngest composers

to have a piece debuted
in this legendary hall.

I often get asked a question

some might think holds an obvious answer.

Would you choose to be able to see?

My answer used to be yes, but now it's no.

The reason is because I
believe we should be focusing

on what's within and not
what's on the outside.

The beauty of a person is
not what they look like,

it's what kind of person they are

and who they want to be in the world.

I think that's huge and
what really matters in life.

Unfortunately, too often
this is overlooked.

It feels amazing to be with
people who appreciate us

for who we are, who don't
care what we look like

or what our challenges are.

That was great.

I was asked what my visual
impairment has helped me to see.

My answer was beauty,

to appreciate the inner
beauty in all people.

You see, for me, beauty is felt, not seen.

- What do you guys think about

when you see like some
of the posts on like

the celebrities today?

- I feel like that's what the ideal person

is supposed to look like.

Like big boobs, big butt, flat
stomach, small waist, yes.

Perfect teeth.

Hair needs to be laid
all the time, you know.

- Eyelashes.
(laughs)

- Why do you guys want bigger lips

or why do girls want bigger lips?

- I don't know why people want big lips,

but like I want small lips

'cause like, people always tell me, like,

oh, you got big lips.

Like you must know how
to work them things.

No.
(laughs)

- I feel like some girls do
it to get a lot of attention.

Like, some girls like
when they take a picture

to show off their butt,
they'll like sit on the sink

and make sure it's out there, like hey.

And then like once they like post it,

they'll get all these comments

from like a whole bunch of guys.

Like you'll probably see one girl

and it's probably their
best friend boosting them.

Like work girl, yes.

And then there's like all these guys like,

yummy or like oh, that booty
big, snack, it's a meal.

Like no, stop.

It makes women look bad.

- Certain girls, like the ones
that do like the extra stuff

like on the sink or they're
just like, not extra,

but just like out there more than others.

Like some people need that.

Like at home, they don't, like
their parents aren't around

or they're always working

and like they need somebody to tell them.

Or like guys don't like
appreciate them the right way

and like that's all the know,

so like if they're not getting that,

then something's missing
and something's wrong

and they don't feel good and it's like,

it's not what they want, you know?

- I heard that a 17 year old
girl once asked her mother,

why do I have to change to be beautiful?

That question made me so sad

because she doesn't have to change

and, you know, yes, there are
pressures within our culture

and based on things that she
might be seeing on Instagram

that might make her think

she might need to look a certain way,

but again, we really need
to instill the confidence

in girls from a young age
that who they are is beautiful

and they don't have to change.

- If we would just stop comparing
ourselves to other people,

like if we would just realize
that what they're posting

is not really what is real,
we would soothe ourselves.

We would not be as insecure as we are

and like yeah, I see
myself doing that sometimes

and I have to stop myself.

I'm like, oh Dallas, you
don't have to compare yourself

to someone else.

Like you are who you
are and that's just it

and you have to love yourself
regardless of, you know,

you might not be that person,

but you have your own qualities.

(acoustic music)
(muffled voices)

- [Miranda] When I was a little girl,

I was transfixed by the
idea of photographs,

that a single moment could
be captured and relived,

that we can see ourselves as
we were at a particular time,

perhaps marking an occasion
like a formal wedding

or simply moments of life's rich journey.

There is true magic in that.

(muffled voices)

I love to look at family photographs

and imagine what happened just
after the image was captured

or just before.

My mind would come up
with all sorts of stories

based on what I saw.

(camera clicks)

what we see in a
photograph can be a truth.

At best, it can relate
the essence of a person

or of a moment in time.

However, this is what makes it so powerful

and why recording photographic images

comes with great responsibility.

It is an important visual document

that will be there possibly
forever once recorded,

through which we can share
ourselves as we choose

and others as agreed with them.

When I think of how commonplace

it has become to share an image,

possibly many images of
oneself on the internet,

I feel very sad that this generation

may never have the
opportunity to experience

the magical feeling that is found

when you take a photograph
and then treasure it forever.

Writing this, I am reminded
of the many thousands

of soldiers at war who
have been kept alive

by the hope of returning to a sweetheart

whose photograph was perhaps
their only possession

during the dark days
away from their homeland.

How powerful is that?

I'm old school when it
comes to photographs.

My personal photographs are my treasure.

They are my records of the most
beautiful and magical things

that I have experienced.

I see them when I close my eyes

and they remind me of my adventures

and all the beauty I have
been fortunate enough to see.

Posting photographic
images on the internet

is not photography in my view.

However, it is a digital social document.

Once shared, it's on the internet.

It's there, and beyond that
you have little control

over where it goes and
what others do with it.

I'd like to live in a world

where people share their highest selves

and where people consider
what they are giving away.

- [Kuki] It seems our
society defines beauty

as big boobs, skinny thighs
and perfect features.

However, this is not how I see it.

- We sit here and like we
try to impress other people

instead of, like, actually being ourselves

and like showing who we really are.

And like we're trying to
make other people happy

when regardless they're
gonna talk whatever like,

either if you're yourself or you're not,

like I just feel like
we should be ourselves.

- At the heart of this,

teenagers really are quite self-absorbed.

That's understandable.

We have been for decades

because the whole identity
crisis is about finding out me,

figuring out me, coming to understand me.

And so we have this huge
preoccupation with myself,

how am I perceived.

Matter of fact, you could
call it the cult of me.

I'm following me, I'm trying
to project me, I'm trying to,

it's really a form of narcissism

where it's actually a self-centered

high sense of my importance
and that you should value me

as much as I want you to value me

and in doing so, what happens
is, I must be worth something.

I must be good, I must be okay.

But the silly thing about the,

the other dangerous thing
maybe is a better word,

about the social media world,

is there are strangers or general others

who are the ones that are commenting

upon the value and worth of my life.

Let's talk about likes.

(students chuckle)

Doesn't matter whether it's Snapchat,

doesn't matter if it's Instagram,

even the old days in Facebook.

What do likes mean?

What do likes mean?

- If I don't get like a
proper amount of likes

that I usually get, I'll
repost it at a different time,

like the popular time and
then I'll get even more likes.

- Sure, so tell me
what's the popular time?

- Like, I don't know, before bed

because everyone's on
their phone before bed.

- Okay, so I should post at
like 9 o' clock at night?

- Yeah.
- Ah-ha!

I'm learning, I'm learning, good.

- A like to me means that, well,

obviously somebody likes what you posted

so when I post something on Instagram

and say it's, whatever,
at the proper time,

and you get a certain amount of likes,

you're just like, wow,
people really like that.

So then I post something
similar the next time maybe,

get another good amount of likes.

And it just makes you feel good inside,

like I mean it's a bad
kind of addiction it seems

because you're just
like so focused on that,

but at the same time, it
does make you feel good,

at least for me.

- Okay, so let me ask that
question of everybody here.

Would you all kinda be feeling

that likes make you feel good?

Yeah?

Okay, that's pretty much 95%.

- So say if your photo gets
like, let's say 200 likes on it,

that means that 200 people
are looking at your photo,

like looking at your life

and your life should be like not secret,

but it should be with,

spent with the people that care about you

and wanna spend time with you

and those 200 people, like
a good handful of them,

probably don't even care
about you or like wanna, yeah.

Like don't wanna, yeah, exactly.

They don't wanna spend time with you

or like get to know you,

they just wanna see what you're up to

and see if their life
is better than your life

or if your life is better than their life.

- [Dave] So they may be just creeping.

- Yeah, so you're kinda like,

likes to me feels like you're exposed.

- When you take a selfie
or when you take a photo

with you and your friends,
usually there's like 800 photos

and out of the 800, you
find like the one or two

that you go with a friend and you're like,

hey, is this a good photo?

And they say yes or no
and then you post it

with the mindset that everyone likes this,

this is gonna be great,

like hopefully there's
gonna be a lot of likes.

And let's say before you
got 300 likes on a selfie

that you posted and the next
day you only get like 250.

You're like, well where
did those 50 people go

and why don't they like my photo?

And it's one of those things

where it's like you almost
feel like downgraded.

You're like, oh, like I went
from here but now I'm here

or when you post a photo and
you get like 50 more likes,

you're like, oh, like I've
upgraded from the last time.

- I've upgraded!
- Your self image either goes

up or down and your worth goes up or down

depending on your likes.
- Interesting.

- I don't think likes define me,

but I really think like they tell,

'cause like, with me, I feel a certain way

because if I don't get a
certain amount of likes,

then I'm gonna delete the picture.

Like see me, like my good thing is,

I need a hundred or more
or I'm gonna delete it.

That's how I feel about likes.

- See, I don't care about it,

but like I'm just gonna to my Instagram.

Yesterday I posted a picture
like exactly 24 hours ago.

I got 98 likes, right?

It's a picture of me
'cause I said I was having

my last football game.

It was like week of football,
high school football,

and I got 98 likes.

But like if I was to only get 20, I mean,

it wouldn't really change like, I care,

but like I feel like people care too much

about the little things.

Social media's not really anything,

like it's just the pictures of you.

Like you still have to live your life

outside of social media,

so I feel like people like
think social media's just like,

if they don't get this many likes,

they're not gonna be
successful in the outside life.

So I don't know.

- I mean, I used to do
this, I don't anymore,

but I used to text like all my friends

and be like, hey, retweet my picture.

You can ask them.

Like, I'm like, hey, retweet my picture.

But like I don't do that anymore,

but like now I'm starting
not to care as much.

I'm not gonna say that I don't care

'cause, you know, I still refresh my feed

and, oh, did they?

No, no, okay.

You know, but

like I'm starting to care less and less

about who likes it and who doesn't

'cause I'm like, you know
what, if I put it out there,

then so what?

Like you know what, I wanted to,

I clicked the submit button.

- I never connected self
worth to the word likes.

But it's come out a few times, hasn't it?

So interesting, a person
should base their self worth

on their likes.
- Well not they should be.

- No, just a minute, just a minute.

This is what you're telling me, right?

So talk to me.

- When it comes to liking a photo,

something about you,
something when you realize

that you don't have that many likes,

something about you just feels like

you've gone from a certain point.

- So are you starting
to see the connection

between likes and your worth?

Do you see?

Is getting a like from somebody
a real genuine statement

of care and faithfulness?

Do we not sometimes push like

so that they will like us
for pushing their like?

- [Patricia] My name is
Patricia Ann Manubay.

I'm 20 years old, Filipino,

and the eldest daughter
of immigrant parents.

I grew up in Daly City, California

and I continue to grow in San Francisco.

I have a younger brother and
plants that never stay alive.

I love fashion and walking to the beat

of a song through my headphones.

I'm an ambitious introvert

who loves people, stories
and not staying still.

I can make anything out of paper

and I have a weird talent of
finding crabs beneath the sand.

I like to tell people that I'm in love

with the two most unpopular
hobbies, writing and service.

My dad worked at a bookstore
when I was younger,

so I learned how to read
and write at an early age.

But most importantly, I learned

stillness and beauty through words.

I remain in awe of authors,
poets and their ability

to create universes while
illustrating emotions

out of thin air.

Growing up, I was bullied often.

This made me feel out of control.

I found control and
beauty inside of writing.

You see, writing does not
pity, judge or give you advice

you already know, it just listens.

In high school, I was introduced
to performance poetry,

an outlet for shy, shaky, introverted me,

an opportunity to ease pain into beauty

while inspiring others to feel.

With old memories and tears that swell up

in my throat, I choke.

Lose feeling in my hand first.

It climbs to my arms, chest, shoulder

and when the shakes
reach my face, I am cold

and then hot all at once

and instead of drowning,
I become the flood.

Emotions and empathy are important in life

because they are what makes us human.

Here is where my service career found me.

Dreamboxes was born from
recognizing how important it is

for kids to have access
to supplies they need

to be successful in school

and the encouragement they
need to pursue their dreams.

I won a national contest

under the Jefferson Awards Foundation

and was rushed into a lot
of press and media exposure.

In high school, my mental
health began to plummet.

I began fighting an everyday battle

to not feel a disappointment
to people around me.

Long story short is, I didn't
want to be here anymore.

I felt ashamed to admit that
this was part of my story

because I wanted to be always
uplifting and inspiring.

I used to tell myself,

how can I hate myself if
I am helping other people?

And this is what continues to save me.

I learned that our own healing begins

when we reach out to others.

I love doing service because
I want to be the person

I needed during the bad times.

I find joy in showing
people that there is beauty

in even the smallest
and most painful things

because in doing so, it also
reminds me that this is true.

People are walking infinite opportunities

and experiences and I
think that is so beautiful.

I remind myself that I,
too, am one of these people.

I told you, I'm in love with
the two most unpopular hobbies

because I owe them my life.

I was recently looking
through my high school papers

and came across an old personal essay

written at the end of my sophomore year,

when our teacher asked us to think about

what our purpose was.

People wrote things like travel the world,

help find a cure for
cancer, start a business.

15 year old me wrote,

my purpose is to help other
people find their purpose

and five years later,
I am doing just that.

- You know with Snapchat how
there's those streaks, right?

- Oh!
- Yes.

(giggles)
- Like eventually,

I caved and was like, no,
I'm not keeping a streak.

I just stopped.
- Yeah, I don't.

- Like I'll talk to people, but like.

- I'll use it when I need to.
- It's just so like hard

to keep keeping that up every single day.

You need to Snapchat that
person to keep the number

keep going up, right?
- Yeah.

And I don't understand.
- It's unhealthy.

- It is unhealthy.
- It is.

- It's stressful.

I see people stress over it.
- Right, yeah.

They're like, my streaks!
- You have other things

to worry about in life
than this like number.

- Yeah, exactly.
- I don't even understand

the point of them, though, like what?

- I don't know.
- What is the point

of streaks?
- I don't either.

- I heard people talking
about them in the gym

the other day.
- Really?

- Like just like in the bathroom.

They're like, oh, my God.

Like, well I don't really
care about this streak,

but I care about this one.

This was the most important.

- That's actually a really
smart idea on Snapchat, though,

because they know people
will get so serious about it

and people will wanna keep using
it to maintain the streaks.

- Yeah, I feel like kids
don't really realize

there's so much more.

There's like a backstory,
there's so much going on

behind just scrolling through.

Like Instagram's trying
to make you keep scrolling

and keep posting and
hashtagging and all that.

- Yeah, it's like you just get sucked in.

It's like moths with like light.

- Yeah.
- The more you look at it,

the more you just get drawn to it

and you don't realize how,
like, invested you become.

And people spend hours on these

and it's unfortunate.
- It's like a time warp.

- It is!
- Nothing tells you to stop.

You just--
- There's no end point really

'cause there's no one to say,
okay, you've reached the end

'cause there really isn't,
you could just keep going

in deeper and deeper and deeper.

- There's been some really
interesting articles

that have linked depression to dry eye

and dry eye to screen time.

So it's very interesting
how all that gets connected.

Now, when we are depressed, you know,

what do we do, especially
in today's generation?

Everything is online.

So we start going online
to find our solutions.

Where as, you know, in
the old days, depression,

it wasn't as big a concern
because you would go outside

and play with your friends,
you'd get fresh air,

you'd have, you know, time to
just run around in the park,

you'd go on swings and all of that

increases the happy
hormones, let's call them.

But in these days, you just
tend to go into your room

and close the door and go online

because that's where your social life is,

that's where your escape is,

and that is gonna feed
into that depression

because your eyes are gonna
get drier and more irritated.

So we're not teaching our
kids the skills they need

to one, how to deal
with depression, right?

So if you are starting to feel this way,

put away the artificial world

and go out and reconnect
with the real world

right outside your door and
see how that makes you feel.

- When we take a look
at the vertical human,

we have so many muscles that
are involved with posture

or good positions.

Most of them are called
antigravity muscles,

so they hold us up.

They hold us up in good positions
so that our moving muscles

then can move effectively.

If we're ending up into
the technology position,

then what happens is
gravity eventually wins.

The low back starts to drop down,

the thorax starts to round,

the arms start to drop forward,

the chin starts to poke out,

the head drops down,

then as we move all of it
on into the extremities,

we end up having jammed
elbows, rotated wrists,

and most importantly, forget
just about clumsy thumbsy,

you've got arthritis of your thumbs.

Those thumbs weren't meant
to do 200 words a minute

and also your arms weren't
designed to be able to hold

your position for 20 or 30 minutes.

They're designed for movement.

So that we're actually changing
the structure and function

of the hands which then leads to arthritic

and tendinopathies creating more pain

and next thing you know,
you really become something

that is non-functional.

(muffled voices)

- [Kuki] Snapchat is fully boring.

If the WiFi box is not on,

I wouldn't turn it on to check my phone.

Instagram can be tempting, though.

But when you're busy,
you're not tempted at all.

Like when I'm helping my mom
with the garden or the horses.

(sheep baaing)
(birds chirping)

- [Izzi] We came to where we live now

and I met this legend called Brendon.

He's an extraordinary blacksmith.

He gifted me loads of his tools.

Really generous of him
to pass on his skills

and I hope one day I'll pass them on

to someone else as well.

I love working with my hands

and to have the possibility to make my way

doing something that I'm passionate about

is really exciting.

Feels great to keep the craft going.

It's awesome and I can't
wait to get better.

- [Kuki] My friends love coming up here

to get away from everything,

even though there are some of them

are addicted to their phones.

They tell me how amazing everything is,

just to listen to the
birds and just to be.

(door creaks)

(birds chirping)

I even noticed some of them put
their phones away sometimes.

Something that seems so
difficult to live without

suddenly becomes unnecessary.

Good boy, Anarchy.

- Quite a few of the people that I know,

they spend a lot of time indoors,

spending loads and loads of
time on their Xbox or TV or

something like that.

I don't know, it doesn't seem very healthy

like when my friends
come over and I see them

out and about doing their thing,

they, you know, sometimes they seem really

almost like they're not there.

Like one of my very close friends

spends about 12 hours a day on his Xbox.

Literally gets up in the
morning, gets on his Xbox

all the way through the day.

And he actually came out, me
and my friends invited him out

the other day and he was
like, can I bring my Xbox?

And he brought his Xbox down
and spent the whole time

that he was hanging out with us

on his Xbox playing his game.

And I got a bit annoyed
with him, actually,

'cause I haven't seen him
in a really long time.

But yeah, it's weird that,
you know, he just loves it.

He loves it.

And he gets really into it.

He gets really stressed about
things that happen in the game

you know, it feels real to him.

Like when you're in the room
and he's there, you know,

he's tense when he's in
this game, he's tense.

It's quite weird to watch
how engrossed he is by it

and how, yeah.

I mean, I've played video games before,

but never want to play them that much.

(instrumental)

- There is some evidence that
internet and gaming addiction

can be problematic for brain development

and this is a very serious concern.

There's evidence showing
that the thickness

of the gray matter in the frontal lobes

are lessened in individuals
that have these addictions.

And the frontal lobes are crucial

to organizing things and planning things

and actually getting things done,

and really a crucial area of the brain

that's developing as children
go through their adolescence.

And so I think that this is
an important point to make.

Internet and gaming addiction also affects

the health of an area of
the brain called the insula,

which is important for
emotional processing

and empathy and compassion.

So I think that, you know,

just taking those two
examples into consideration,

it's clear that there are going
to be longterm consequences

for individuals that have these problems

as far as their brain
health going forward.

- My battery is gone by fourth period.

- I'm not gonna lie, when I had my phone

it was gone by the third.

- Yeah, third and fourth period.

- How often are you on your phone, like?

- A lot.

Answers, text messages.

- Yeah, 20 hours out of 24 hours.

(laughs)

- I'll pick it up in the shower.

I will pick it up anywhere.

If I could look at my
phone, I'ma look at it.

I just like looking at my phone.

- Like I procrastinate a lot
like I'll be doing my homework,

alright, put my phone to the side.

Alright, Snapchat.

Oh, hold on.

- I know like if I'm
walking in the hallway

and I see someone I don't wanna see

or like someone I don't,

I'll just look at my phone really quick.

Or like sometimes if
I'm walking by someone,

I'll act like I'm on the phone.

I'll be like, hello?

- How many of you feel that
yourself or your parents

are on their devices too much?

Okay, so most of you feel that.

How many have lost momentum or energy

for a well-intentioned day

by laying in bed too long
playing on your phone?

(chuckles)
Okay.

Okay, how many just when
that thing dinged or buzzed

or vibrated, you kinda went (pants)?

Yeah, you had that, you had that (screams)

what am I missing?

Yeah, yeah?

No kidding, eh?

That's pretty much universal.

That's called addiction.

Oops, did I say that word?

Oops, okay, alright.

How many would say, I think
I'm addicted to my phone?

How many would say that?

Okay.

You've heard of, like, Bill Gates?

Uh-huh.

And you understand that
that particular high-end,

high-achiever, technological genius

wouldn't let his own
kids be on social media?

What does he know that we don't know?

It's called he knows how addicting it is.

Remember the bing, bing?

(pants)
Remember that?

That's what happening to us, right?

- I'm having a good time
where like I'm doing something

I love like baseball or
like with someone that I,

like my mom, hanging out with my brother,

or like just any of my
homeboys or whatever,

like I'm not on my phone

until like we're not doing
something 'cause like it's just,

it gives you something to do
when you're not doing anything.

But I feel like people overuse it

and that's their thing to
do, like that's what they,

they're on their phone way too much

and like just they need to
like open their eyes and like--

- Yeah, they're missing out.

- Mhmm, they really are.

- You know, I often joke with kids

and I say, would you eat like
10 buckets of ice cream a day?

You like ice cream, right?

And they're like, no, no, no.

Like rot my teeth, I'd gain
weight, I'd be unhealthy.

So ice cream is yummy and you like it,

but if you do too much of it,

it causes physical damage in your body.

So you know not to do too much.

We don't think of screens that way,

whereas the physical
damage done by screens

is arguably a lot more, right?

So screens, just like a
lot of the other things

like ice cream, I'll say to the kids,

if you do too much of
it, a little bit is okay,

but if you do too much of it,

you are causing physical
damage inside your eyes.

- It's like it's attached to our hand

like we don't put it down.

And I don't know why, like
it's so weird to think about it

because I remember being younger

and like that was never a thing,

that was never something that
we were, you know, tied to.

We would just interact with people.

And I remember when I was
smaller, like I was an outdoor,

like I was climbing trees
and like doing crazy stuff

and now I'm all like, I don't wanna go.

Like I like going outside,
like I'd go on a walk,

but it's not as often as
I used to, like you know?

And sometimes I feel like
when I do have those days

where I do something productive

and I don't even look
at my phone, I'm like.

I lay in bed, and you know
when you lay in bed at night

and you're like, wow,
like today was a good day.

You just kinda, like, you kinda compare

and you're like, why am I
not doing that more often?

If it brings more joy to me,
why am I just wasting time?

(light music)

- [Jennifer] My name is
Jennifer and I'm 18 years old,

the middle child between four siblings.

As a competitive dancer,
I've grown inside my passion.

I also love acting, gymnastics,
piano, guitar and violin.

My childhood has had a few hardships

due to alcoholism in my family,

but sobriety is a beautiful thing.

Middle school, that awkward
transition where we blossom

between elementary and high school.

For me, it was a leap deeper
into my insecurity issues

and my first negative
impact with technology.

I always asked my parents,
why can't I have a phone?

Every kid I knew had one.

Why not me?

Now I know why.

In the sixth grade, I was invited

to my best friend's birthday party

and everyone was acting so
weird and distant with me

so I asked my friend, what was up?

What's going on?

And she showed me a Facebook
page dedicated to myself.

The comments were endless.

She's so ugly, she's such a slut,

why is anybody friends with her,

it's obvious we hate her so much.

The worst part of it all
was that they were all

supposed to be my friends and
I didn't even have Facebook.

Now my mom was really
hesitant to give me a phone

and my so-called friends
were nice to me in person,

but behind a faceless screen,

they continued to tarnish my self-esteem.

Fast forward to the
beginning of grade eight.

I had moved schools and
my parents finally gave in

and got me an iPhone.

In no time, I downloaded
Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

Instagram became the most
influential app to me

because I became envious
of the perfect lives,

flawless bodies and the faces I saw there.

I began to wonder, why can't
my life be that perfect?

Why can't I have a perfect body,

big boobs, a small waist and a big butt?

In my pursuit of happiness,

I began taking bikini
pictures and selfies.

I felt my confidence was restored
and reassured temporarily

by the click of a button,

but now I was trapped, too.

- When we poster that age-old comment that

boys do the love thing to get sex

and girls will play with
the sex thing to get love,

it actually is a really
accurate description

of the majority of the
male female humankind.

Girls have a high need to be approved

and loved and cherished for who they are.

They want seriously, they want
that knight in shining armor

who sees they're a priority to that man,

they're respected by that man,

they're validated and
affirmed by that man.

And obviously they get noticed
through the sexual things,

so they kinda flaunt a little
bit of the sexual stuff

to get a sense of being
loved and cherished.

Well what happens in the other side,

guys know that women have this need to be

loved and cherished so they
say all the right things,

but often it's just to get in
their pants if I can say that.

And so sadly, and we're making guys

maybe sound solely
neanderthal and sex-driven,

that's not always true, but
it is pretty largely true,

especially for young
men in those teen years

where they're just kicking into

the raging hormones like crazy.

And sadly, our culture has
made pornography so accessible

and it's so explicit
and it's so anonymous.

Man, I can go anywhere and on my phone

with WiFi or just with my own data plan,

I can look at anything any place.

And so we have premature
exposure to so much sexual data

that that whole porn push is driving

this thing about sex and love.

And women are thinking that,

well, if I have sex, I must be loved.

Sorry, after the moments, I
don't have time for you anymore.

But I thought you loved me.

So women are getting, as
it were, taken for a ride

that they're hoping is love

and they're dropped off at the shortcut

of simple, sexual, sensational climaxes.

And so we have a problem
there in our culture

because, and of course, women are sensing

that guys like this.

And the whole, you know,
Kardashian, Lady Gaga push

or whatever, that whole push is, you know,

use your sexualness, you know,
use it, be a strong woman,

and what's happening is,
they're actually playing off

the female side of porn that
says, I can be a porn star,

I can be noticed for my
sexualness which, of course,

at the core, is actually
coming back to just,

it's a surface thing.

It's not you.

You have to be loved for
more than your sexual appeal.

You have to be loved for who you are.

That's real love.

- [Jennifer] What has the world come to?

Technology is consuming everyone,

our lives, relationships, self-esteem.

When you're on a date or out with friends,

faces are glued to the phone screens

instead of engaged in one another.

Modern dating has turned into
texting your significant other

I'm here!

Instead of knocking on their door.

There's an obsession to portray

a picture perfect version of your life.

So much that we've forgotten
that each one of us has flaws,

the kind that make us imperfectly perfect.

We are human, not robots.

- I'm not even blaming you
on it 'cause guys do it, too,

but, like, they'll post like a picture,

it'll be showing like I guess
a little cleavage or something

and they'll be, what they're
really wanting is a guy

to talk to, not like that, but like,

but the guy sees that
picture and he's thinking,

alright, well, like, yeah, basically.

He wants--
- Girls post stuff.

They know what they be doing.

- Hold on, yeah, but
look, sometimes the girls

be setting themselves up

'cause when they be posting
pictures and stuff like that

they know a dude finna text them.

- Exactly.
- So you wanted that attention

and then when you get it, you be mad

because you wanted that attention,

but that's not the type
of attention you wanted.

You wanted a relationship.

Can I speak?

Can I speak, can I speak?

You wanted that relationship attention,

but you're on here with your
bra and your panties, right?

Hold on, can I finish?

Let me finish, let me finish.

So then you get mad when the dude,

when his first instinct
is trying to smash,

but you on here showing your body.

- True, yeah.

- [Student] It's like,
y'all set yourself up.

- [Student] But guys should have

more respect than that, like.

- That is very true, that
comes with growth, too, like.

- 'Cause y'all know, when
y'all started talking,

and things start getting freaky,

y'all knew what was gonna happen.

The girls knew what they was doing,

they sent them pictures.

Okay, so they knew.

And they know a boy
gonna keep the pictures,

it's for a reason, so
they set themselves up.

- Do you understand?

Do you see, it starts with respect.

If it's love, it's respect.

If a guy says, I'm saying it straight,

if a guy says if you love me, let me

or if you love me, send a photo,

you can block now or frankly
if he says it face-to-face

you can spit in his face and walk away

'cause if it's you love
me, you respect me.

There'll be always a time
for the physical later,

but if you get physical
with anybody who moves,

including yourself in selfies,

your own version of subtle porn,

be careful that you're being
liked for the right things.

You can undo one more button

and maybe get a little more attention,

but I'm telling you one thing,

it's the wrong kind of attention.

Boy, tell ya, it's tough.

It's tough growing up today.

- Like y'all talk about
being men and stuff,

but y'all can't come up to a
girl and ask her out in person?

Like why do y'all wanna do it,

why do y'all wanna do it by text message?

Like, why can't you
just be a man and, like,

just ask her out?

- You can be more compassionate.

Nah, yeah, not even direct.

You can be, you can be, you
can be more compassionate

'cause it's just 'cause you
know how like girls be like,

oh, he's so shy, or something like that?

So it's basically, like, it's not,

it is like that 'cause if
you were to do in person,

they'd be like, uh, yeah,

but then like if you
were to say it over text,

they give what they really say

'cause I feel they, girl
feel more comfortable

over text than they do in person.

It's facts, that is facts.

- Teens these days, they're communicating

mostly through text messages
or Snapchat, things like that.

There isn't a lot of face-to-face
interaction, you know,

when they're out of school or
even, you know, on the phone.

You know, it's very easy to text someone

and if you have a crush on
someone or you're dating someone,

you may be just texting them

and so much is lost from that.

- Or like you wanna chill,
like you don't say that.

You say, hey do you wanna go,

you wanna go somewhere?

It's like--
- Wait.

(students chattering)

- But it's like, I will
take you more seriously,

but it's like, I will take you
more seriously if you ask me,

like, hey do you wanna go out
this place and eat somewhere

or do you wanna go to the movies?

You don't say, you trying to chill?

Like you don't say that.

And every guy in this room
says, you trying to chill?

(students laugh)

- [Brittni] Do you ever feel gypped

with guys asking you
out over text message?

No phone call, flowers, or
even coming to the door?

Don't you have expectations?

- I was gonna say, the thing
about the expectations,

like, I feel like no
matter the expectations,

the boys here aren't gonna
like live up to that.

Yeah, like not here, so like,

I don't really think,
even if we have them,

like it wouldn't matter here.

- [Brittni] Well, how about raise the bar?

(acoustic music)

- [Joey] Girls are missing
out on a lot of things

that happened years ago, you know,

in terms of someone being nice to you,

bringing you flowers or, you know,

trying to get your
attention in certain ways.

And now it's really just like
I'm gonna text you a picture

of I don't know what, hopefully
it's nothing too x-rated,

but I'm gonna text you
a picture of something

and see how you react at that.

- [Amy] This is true for young
girls as well as for women,

you do have to say what you want,

whether that's I want you to
actually call me on the phone

or come speak to my face,
rather than texting me

or that's when you're
older and you're in a job

and you wanna take on more responsibility.

If you don't raise your hand
and you don't say anything,

no one's ever gonna change anything,

so I think part of like being able to say,

hey, can we just have a
face-to-face conversation?

Might change everything, you know.

If you just accept things
for the way they are,

it's never gonna change.

So it's worth it to, like,
at least take that first step

and try to be proactive
and I think that's guidance

for every area of your life.

- I mean, I did raise the bar

and I did get made fun of
and where are they now?

(giggles)

- [Student] Where they at, where they at?

- I don't know.

- I just feel like social media, like,

it has so much pressure
to be in a relationship

for young people, so
like we don't wanna wait,

we want it now, and so
we like, we accept things

from guys and how they treat us

even though it's not right
because we just want it

and it's like everywhere that we look.

So we like accept somebody to treat us bad

because that's what we
want, we want a boyfriend

or we want love, we want somebody there.

- The number one thing is my parents,

like you can't just show up to the house

and text me you're outside.

Like you better walk to my
door, ring the doorbell,

tell my dad hello, tell my mom,

like give her a hug.

But you're not just
gonna like come outside,

like come outside, like no,

you're gonna come in,
you're gonna be respectful

'cause you represent me,

like I picked you,
what's it gonna look like

if you come in my house?

- Ooh, girl.
- Like, no!

I'm just like, that's
just my biggest thing.

Oh, that's, oh my God, that's so annoying.

Or like, you're gonna stay there

and you're gonna watch
me walk in the house.

Like don't pull off as soon
as I get outta the car.

- Yes!

(students chattering)

- [Student] I hate that.

- Like that's crazy.

Like, things like, I know
I'm not your wife yet,

so you're not gonna,

but like that's crazy.

I just think it's like
little respectful things

like if you respect me,
you're gonna do this.

But if you don't, like that's fine

and we can both look for other people.

- My dad says, it takes,
it's like, what's he say?

He says everything has a time.

Everything has a time.

Boyfriends, college, cars,
license, everything has a time.

So don't rush it, take your time.

- You need to think it through.

Your generation has to make some calls

on some very hard stuff

because it's gonna be asked of you

over and over and over again.

It is.

That's where your generation's going.

(acoustic music)

(pop music)

- Hey guys, phones in the middle.

- [Girl] Why do we put
our phones in the middle?

- Hey, whoever touches their phone first

has to pay the bill, alright?

- Alright.
- Alright?

- [Dave] My anxiety grows
as I don't feel validated,

don't feel approved and in that
mix comes the dangerous move

towards a growing depression,
a deep dissatisfaction

of who I am because my digital
world is not affirming me,

so I grow alone, I grow isolated

and I go miles from who
I was created to be.

That's the danger of the digital world.

- [Kuki] Life is filled
with so many choices

for you and for me.

I don't want to lose myself

in a world that is tumbling down.

My hope is that you plug into life

because it's a truly beautiful gift.

May you always stay in the light

for it's the light that
will guide you home.

Perhaps one day, we'll
meet along the road.

Be sure to stop and say hello.

Cheers for now.

(light music)

- I mean, I was, I told the guys earlier,

I get kinda petty and I'll
just send like a photo

of a naked mole rat if you want a nude.

Like, I'll give you that, but.

- This is our toilet.

This is where we make our
contribution to nature.

And every once in a
while, we empty the bins

and put saw dust with it and
then it takes about five years

to turn into compost, which we then

put on our fruit trees and stuff.

Alright, well I'm just
gonna use the facilities.

(giggles)

Classic, absolutely classic.

(cheers)