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Don't look away.
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SHE LAUGHS
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This programme contains strong
language and adult humour
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Don't put that on telly!
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Oo-ar!
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I might just do this all day.
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Argh!
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This is weird!
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So tight.
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THEY EXCLAIM
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CHEERING, APPLAUSE
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Hello.
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Welcome.
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Welcome to Taskmaster.
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Knock, knock.
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Who's there?
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Task.
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Task who?
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Task the way, a-ha, a-ha,
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I like it.
LAUGHTER
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Doesn't particularly make sense,
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and yet the allotted
introduction time is filled,
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and thus my contractual obligation,
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and my next expensive
holiday paid for.
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See you in Cancun, Pablo.
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Now, please welcome
our five contestants.
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Amy Gledhill...
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...Armando Iannucci...
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Hello!
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...Joanna Page...
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...Joel Dommett
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and Kumail Nanjiani.
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And next to me, a man that told me
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that he gets up every morning
really early
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because his postman has nice eyes
and slinky hips.
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Mm.
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♪ It's little Alex Ho-ooo-orne! ♪
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Right. Thank you. Hello.
Hello, Mr Postman.
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Thank you for that.
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Prize task, then.
What's the category this time?
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WATCH BEEPS
Well, Greg, this categorisation
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involves personification
for your verification,
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as they've brought in
an ordinary household object
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with the most personality.
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Mm. What exactly is personality?
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I don't know, but Greg does,
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so he'll judge their
objects fiercely,
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and then the winner of the episode
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will go home
with five new inanimate friends.
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WATCH BEEPS
Perfect.
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Right. Good.
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Kumail, what household object have
you brought in with personality?
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So I...
Object with the most personality.
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So a few years ago,
my friends and I,
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for New Year's Eve, we got an Airbnb
and there was an ice maker there,
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and I'll tell you his name
once we look at him.
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Here he is.
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Oh.
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This is Flabbergasted Phillip.
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And so, just to illustrate
how much personality he has,
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here is him reacting to
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The Sixth Sense.
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He can't believe it!
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Oh. What a twist. Ah, Phil!
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Flabbergasted Phillip
did not see it coming.
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GREG GUFFAWS
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Ah, great.
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And one more. This is...
There we go.
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...reacting to Joel pulling an egg
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out of his crotch.
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This is strong from you. Mmm.
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I'm a big fan of
Flabbergasted Phillip. Yeah.
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And what noise...?
I've got in my head
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what noise I think
Flabbergasted Phillip makes
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when he's flabbergasted.
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B-ah!
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Joel, what have you brought in?
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A corkscrew. All right.
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Yeah.
That's got so much personality!
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Well, I didn't expect you just to
have brought in any old corkscrew.
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Yeah, but look how...
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Cos then, when you...
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Every time you get a bit of wine,
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you open it up and it goes,
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"O-o-oh, it's wine time!"
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I think it goes
the other way, doesn't it?
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Yeah.
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And then... No.
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Ah!
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It goes, "Ohh, it's wine time,"
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and he goes, "Now."
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Good. Good.
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Armando, have you brought in
something better than a corkscrew?
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I loved this task, actually,
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00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,199
because it made me just look
at everything.
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And in the office,
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the hole puncher next to the printer
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does look like someone's dropped
a safe onto a duck.
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This is his actual house.
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Oh, and the duck's definitely dead!
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Oh. It's dead.
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O-a-ah!
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Strong. Visual and strong.
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Amy. I've brought in Lovely Linda,
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a pregnancy pillow.
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There she is. Ooh!
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Ohh.
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00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,079
And you get in there, you sort of...
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You can hold it
and she holds you back
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and you're never sad ever again.
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Can I tell you something? Yeah.
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I have got one of these.
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Yes! Yes!
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And I didn't know it was
a pregnancy pillow.
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I just thought,
"Oh, this looks like a comfy thing."
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It's brilliant.
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00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:50,559
My ex-boyfriend bought me
this pregnancy pillow
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and then he never
had to hug me again.
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00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:54,880
Oh, no.
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00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,359
Joanna, what have you bought in?
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I've brought in my gnome pig.
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Gnome pig! Gnome pig.
123
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So... Oh, my God!
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Whoa!
Oh, I hate him!
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You're not the only one.
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I first found him 25 years ago
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and he nearly ended my marriage,
128
00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,519
cos I found him in a garden centre,
129
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and he's about that tall.
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00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,119
Oh, my God!
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00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:24,079
Where do you ever seen a gnome
sitting on a pig?
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It's incredible.
133
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,999
Oh, I thought... Yeah.
Oh, he's SITTING on the pig.
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He's SITTING on the pig. Yep.
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{\an8}And my husband was adamant
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{\an8}that weren't going
to put him in the garden,
137
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and said he hopes that somebody wins
138
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,479
and finally
he can be away from our life.
139
00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:39,399
But I don't,
and I wish I hadn't said that now
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00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,159
cos I want more than
one point for him.
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00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:42,400
Yeah!
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So the category is,
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00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:48,159
an ordinary household object
with the most personality.
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00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:50,679
I think because Joel did
such a lovely job
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00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:52,519
of giving his corkscrew personality,
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I'm going to give him two points.
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00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:54,839
Two to Joel. Two to Joel.
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00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:57,279
Squashed duck,
Lovely Linda, three points.
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00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:59,279
So three to Armando
and three to Amy? Yes. OK.
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00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:02,159
And four points to...
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00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:03,999
Big moment. ..gnome pig. Ah.
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And it would have been five points
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00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,439
if gnome pig
didn't disgust me so much.
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Flabbergasted Phillip,
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I feel like he's become a friend.
156
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,599
Yeah. I love that guy.
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B-ah!
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So five points to Kumail!
Five points!
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00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,040
Five points!
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00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,319
Right, let's move on. What's next?
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A bit of bowdlerisation,
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a soupcon of suppression
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and a pissload... Whoops!
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...of profanities.
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Hey, man. Joel Dommett.
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Fancy seeing you here. Yeah.
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00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,039
Well, I just want to say,
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I think you are a complete BLEEP.
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OK. Thank you very much.
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Chair?
I think you're an absolute BLEEP.
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Just for the record,
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I think you're a massive BLEEP.
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What does that mean?
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It's a compliment.
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I think you are an absolute BLEEP.
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Thank you. What do you think of me?
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I think you're BLEEP.
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I think you're BLEEP and BLEEP.
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OK.
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I think you're a twat.
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OK.
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All right, so where...
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...is the t...?
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Massive BLEEP.
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00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,119
I've been so nice to you.
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You have, actually. Yeah.
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Do you know what I mean?
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ARMANDO TUTS, HUMS
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Ooh, what's this? Hang on.
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00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,439
Oh, no,
it's just a fire safety notice.
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Erm... So where is it?
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00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:53,919
Right, well, it's very close to you.
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00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,159
Am I hot?
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Yes. OK.
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00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:57,800
Is it up there? No. No?
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Is it...? Oh, for fuck's sake.
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Honestly!
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What happened there? Oh!
199
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,759
"Something yourself something."
200
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,359
"Blank yourself blank."
201
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:17,879
"Most blank necessary blank wins.
202
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,399
"You have blank minutes."
203
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,639
It can't... I mean, it can't be...
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00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,199
It can't be,
"Finger yourself silly."
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That would be outrageous.
LAUGHTER
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Can I just take the tape off?
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00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,000
You can do whatever you want,
Kumail.
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"Censor yourself..."
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00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,160
{\an8}"..unnecessarily."
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00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:37,999
{\an8}I'm actually
genuinely intrigued now.
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00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,839
I've sort of forgotten about
the game and I've...
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00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,319
Not a game.
It's not a game, it's a task.
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{\an8}"Most intriguing..."
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00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:48,919
"..unnecessary censorship wins."
215
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:51,639
{\an8}"You have 20 minutes."
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"Your time starts now."
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00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,919
"Taskmaster."
218
00:08:55,920 --> 00:09:00,879
So things that you're censored
for are language,
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00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:03,800
nudity, political views.
220
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,639
"And this is where her career ended,
221
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,800
"when she was naked,
shouting hate speech."
222
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:17,799
Alex... Mm.
223
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,800
...of all the things we just heard,
what is the phrase I'm thinking of?
224
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:24,719
Yeah, it's, "Finger yourself silly."
Jackpot. Yeah.
225
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:28,359
I don't know why that was
the first thing that came to mind.
226
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,560
I don't really think that
you would have asked that of us.
227
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,919
What I liked about it is
you weren't making a joke.
228
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,399
You were really just
working through it.
229
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,519
Yeah. "It can't be."
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00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,560
"I don't think it could be,
'Finger yourself silly'".
231
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,319
Am I right in thinking that Joel was
the only one you insulted there?
232
00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:45,879
I wouldn't have just insulted Joel.
233
00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:48,519
I wouldn't have thought I would have
singled him out in this series.
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00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,199
Erm...
LAUGHTER
235
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,479
But I did call Joel a twat,
and that's...
236
00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:54,760
I just felt safe.
237
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,879
You became an entire shade of red
I'd never seen before.
238
00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,279
Yeah, it was awful.
239
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:03,719
He genuinely doesn't like saying
bad things about people, though.
240
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:06,279
You know the worst thing
I've ever heard him say?
241
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,080
"Well, they are difficult to like."
242
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,719
OK, let's go. Good news, kids,
243
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,319
it's story time with
Miss Gledhill first of all.
244
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,760
This is a story called
Alex And His Massive BLEEP.
245
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,519
Once upon a time,
there was a boy called Alex
246
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:27,319
who was known across the land
for having a ginormous BLEEP.
247
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:30,599
He'd brag about it
to make appetites wet.
248
00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:33,039
One woman said she'd love to
249
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:37,399
BLEEP and share it
with her twin sister.
250
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,159
Alex proposed.
251
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:42,919
On their wedding night, he popped it
on the table with one hand
252
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:44,999
and asked her to BLEEP it.
253
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:50,439
She tried, but it was
so big it made her eyes water.
254
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:54,799
Alex waited till she was asleep
and BLEEP off himself,
255
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:59,919
BLEEP so loudly that
the wife ran in, alarmed.
256
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:02,999
She saw it had softened.
257
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,719
Her eyes didn't water any more.
258
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:08,160
She really loved it.
259
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,840
This is a story called
Alex And His Massive Onion.
260
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,639
Once upon a time,
there was a boy called Alex
261
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:25,439
who was known across the land
for having a ginormous onion.
262
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,719
He'd brag about it
to make appetites wet.
263
00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:32,599
One woman said she'd love
to cook it right up
264
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,599
and share it with her twin sister.
265
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:37,399
Alex proposed.
266
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:41,079
On their wedding night, he popped it
on the table with one hand
267
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:42,959
and asked her to chop it.
268
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:48,519
She tried, but it was
so big it made her eyes water.
269
00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:53,279
Alex waited till she was asleep
and browned it off himself,
270
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:58,319
frying so loudly
that the wife ran in, alarmed.
271
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,879
She saw it had softened.
272
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:04,119
Her eyes didn't water any more.
273
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,680
She really loved it.
274
00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:16,079
I knew I recognised your voice.
275
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:19,160
I wasted a fortune on
those phone lines in the '90s!
276
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,520
Brown it off yourself!
277
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,679
Shall we have a brief interval?
I think we should.
278
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,359
All right, then.
It's time for a brief interval.
279
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,880
Off you go. Alex, good luck. Yes!
280
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,319
We let him bring
his guinea pig in today.
281
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,639
It's dead, but he hasn't noticed.
282
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,159
LAUGHTER
283
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:38,400
We'll see you in a bit.
284
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:51,199
Hello!
285
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:54,239
Welcome back to the start
of part two,
286
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,999
where our cast are busy
censoring things unnecessarily,
287
00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,799
but what's the key criteria I need
to judge them on, Alex?
288
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:04,399
It's the most... Whoops! Whoops!
MEOW SOUND EFFECT
289
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,119
...that wins.
290
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,519
OK. Next up,
291
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,799
he's the creative mastermind
of a lot of the greatest comedy
292
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:11,639
to come out of the UK
in the last 30 years,
293
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:14,280
so this is bound to be
something rather special.
294
00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:20,760
Armando Iannucci's
unnecessary censorship. Ah.
295
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,439
Right, here we go.
296
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,119
Right, so you know what you're
doing immediately, do you?
297
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:26,840
I think so. Don't you?
298
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,599
{\an8}That's me. A bit of hair there.
299
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:31,640
{\an8}Eyes.
300
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,319
Right.
301
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:36,400
A bit of pixelating.
302
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,399
Right, so here we go.
303
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,680
Censorship, right? Ready?
ARMANDO CLEARS THROAT
304
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,639
Old MacDonald had a farm,
305
00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:51,759
e-ugh, I, e-ugh, I, e-ugh.
306
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,400
And on that farm,
he had some ble-ugh...
307
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:59,119
...e-ugh, I, e-ugh, I, e-ugh.
308
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:02,599
With a e-ugh, e-ugh there
309
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,879
and a e-ugh, e-ugh there,
310
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,279
here...
311
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,919
Here, a e-ugh, there, a e-ugh,
312
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,799
everywhere, a...
313
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,439
Oh, ugh, fuck it, run!
314
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,439
Old MacDonald had a farm...
315
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,359
Ugh, fuck it!
...E-I...
316
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,319
GARBLED GRUNT
...I...
317
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:20,759
GARBLED SPEECH
318
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,000
...O.
319
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,239
E...
HE GROWLS
320
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,239
No, wait.
GROWLING CONTINUES
321
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:28,280
O.
322
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:33,039
Is there a time limit?
Am I done or do I do more?
323
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,080
I feel like you might have
done enough. OK.
324
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,759
During the break, I said to them,
325
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,480
"I think I might look like
I'm having a nervous breakdown."
326
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:48,719
I have a question. Yes.
327
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,440
Why did it say, "Help me"?
328
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:52,839
Well...
329
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:54,600
Well, I think that's rather evident.
330
00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:58,880
I just felt like writing it!
331
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,199
It's absolutely fascinating. Yeah.
332
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,399
It all happened very quickly,
didn't it, Armando? It did, yeah.
333
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:05,959
You rushed in, you did that... Yeah.
334
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,679
...and then rushed out again. Yeah.
335
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:08,879
Did you find me in the end?
336
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,800
I think I just wandered off
into a park.
337
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,399
You were still doing it in the park,
yeah. Yeah.
338
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:17,639
There was a duck pond there,
339
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:19,640
and I threw a safe
onto one of the ducks.
340
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:22,799
Well, who's next?
341
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,519
Let's try and find something that's,
you know, less frightening.
342
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:26,759
Well, Greg, we're actually
going to see
343
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,679
all three of the remaining attempts
at unnecessary censorship
344
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,879
with Joanna, Joel and Kumail.
345
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,759
It's really hot today, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah, it's warm.
346
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:36,999
Oh, my God, it's balmy!
347
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,159
{\an8}And the air conditioner
is not working?
348
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:40,919
We don't have AC here, I'm so sorry.
349
00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,119
Are you not used to this?
350
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:43,999
Oh, my God.
351
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,679
No, not THIS kind of heat.
352
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,639
This is too much.
353
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:48,959
KUMAIL EXHALES
354
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,319
I feel I'm gonna overheat.
355
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:51,560
Hey, do you have any scissors?
356
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,520
Oh, thank you. Don't run with them.
357
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:56,919
I'm not going to run with them.
358
00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:58,560
I'm not gonna run, it's too hot.
359
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,120
JOANNA GROANS
360
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,560
JOANNE GROANS, GRUNTS
361
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:31,319
Oh, that's much better.
362
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:32,919
SCISSORS CLATTER
363
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:34,200
Ohh.
364
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:37,079
Oh, that's much better.
365
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,480
Ah.
KUMAIL CHUCKLES
366
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:48,839
Hey, guys. Hey. Hey. Sorry.
367
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,319
We're doing a television show,
and if you sign this,
368
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:52,879
we can unblur your face.
369
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,319
OK. Just everybody sign there.
370
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,679
Is that all right? Yeah, yeah. OK.
371
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:57,079
Should I sign for him? Yeah, yeah.
372
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:58,559
OK. Sign for legal guardian,
373
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,079
I suppose, all of that stuff.
374
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,080
It's a lovely view, isn't it? Yeah.
375
00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:05,639
Beautiful.
376
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,200
Thank you so much. Thank you.
377
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,840
JOANNA GROANS
378
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,840
Oh, that hit the spot!
379
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,239
KUMAIL EXHALES
You look better.
380
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:28,960
Oh, it's breezy now, isn't it?
381
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:31,160
Lovely.
382
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,400
Kumail, what's going on with the...?
383
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:38,600
Oh, um...
384
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,279
I was born without nipples.
385
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:43,439
All the men in my family
386
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:44,799
are born without nipples.
387
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,399
You know what they called me
in school?
388
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:47,800
"No nipple Nanjiani."
389
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:50,559
You see? There's nothing there.
390
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:51,999
It's just... You...
391
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,239
You should ask before you touch.
Oh, sorry.
392
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,440
Just ask.
393
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:01,599
I don't know
what the hell's going on.
394
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,359
There's double layers of unnecessary
395
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:05,679
because male nipples don't need
to be censored anyway,
396
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,919
plus, I don't got any.
397
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,120
Oh, my God.
398
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,599
This has all freaked me out so much,
399
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:12,959
I've almost forgotten that
400
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:17,280
Joanna seemed to be ramming things
into her backside...
401
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:24,759
...and ostensibly, Joel's VT showed
him revealing his penis to a child.
402
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:26,559
With permission -
he signed the form.
403
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:27,839
With permission.
With permission.
404
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,360
I'm feeling a bit better.
405
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,240
I wouldn't get too comfortable.
406
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,759
What was it?
Censor yourself unnecessarily.
407
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,799
Most unnecessary censorship wins.
408
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,239
"Unnecessary"? Most unnecessary.
409
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:41,559
I'm giving Amy five points
410
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:43,039
because there was no need
to censor any of that,
411
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,559
because it was a lovely story
about an onion.
412
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,039
There were things
in all of the others
413
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,519
that should have been censored,
414
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,439
so I'm giving everybody else
four points.
415
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,079
Right. Whoa!
416
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:52,719
OK, Five, four, four, four, four.
417
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:53,720
APPLAUSE
418
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,719
OK, what are the scores
right now, Alex?
419
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,239
Right. It's close this time.
420
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,479
Amy and Joanna are
in joint second on eight points.
421
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,359
Kumail's in the lead
with nine points.
422
00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,600
WHISTLING
423
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:08,799
Right, let's have another one, please.
424
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,840
Well, I have a lovely one
right here with bells on.
425
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,160
BELLS JANGLING
426
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,160
Wow.
427
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:36,440
Wow!
428
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,119
Are you going to fire me out
of a cannon or...? What's...
429
00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:45,360
I'm not sure yet. Ha-ha, ha.
430
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,320
You look good. Thank you very much.
Safety first.
431
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,599
Hello, Joanna. Hello!
432
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,560
You look like
a safety-conscious tourist.
433
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,480
JOANNA CHUCKLES
434
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,640
Hello, Kumail. Alex.
435
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:06,800
You're covered in bells.
436
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,279
Oh, yeah.
437
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,119
It's like a sort of modern jester,
is it? Very much so.
438
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:13,880
Would it be inappropriate
to call you a bellend?
439
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:16,800
Open up the task.
440
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,799
JOANNA GASPS
"Take the most photos
441
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:25,159
"featuring at least 50% of
the Taskmaster's assistant."
442
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:26,479
That's you.
443
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:29,839
"The Taskmaster's assistant
must stay within the arena..."
444
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,439
"..and will run when you clap."
Mm-hm.
445
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,199
The arena is the courtyard.
446
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,599
"You must wear your blindfold
correctly at all times
447
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,679
"and must not run."
448
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,319
Oh, I see.
449
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,679
I'm going to hear you.
ARMANDO LAUGHS
450
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:47,479
"You have ten minutes
and a maximum of 24 pictures.
451
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,359
"Your time starts when you have
donned your blindfold."
452
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:53,319
Right. So I've got to capture
you using these things.
453
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:54,839
Taking pictures with my ears!
454
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,080
I think this will be the hard bit,
putting this on.
455
00:20:58,320 --> 00:20:59,999
And when that's on,
I'll start the clock.
456
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,199
Right, there we go.
24 pictures, ten minutes.
457
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,839
Don't waste your pictures.
There we go.
458
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,959
Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.
Ooh, that sounded painful.
459
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,479
Was it as painful as it sounded?
It was... Sorry?
460
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:09,919
Was it painful?
461
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,839
I'm also hard of hearing -
that's the other problem.
462
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:13,320
Ah, right. It's OK.
463
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:17,639
If you sort of think about
464
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,199
the things that the bricks
of Hampton Court
465
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,239
have witnessed over the years,
466
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,400
this feels like a real come-down,
doesn't it?
467
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,559
A hard-of-hearing man
with boggle-y eyes,
468
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:32,639
a grown woman saying, "So I've got
to take pictures with my ears."
469
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,559
But I am very much
looking forward to it.
470
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:35,799
Well, first to clap and snap,
471
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,239
it's comedian Amy Gledhill
472
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,039
and TV presenter Joel Edmunds.
473
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,040
Here we go.
474
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:43,799
Have you got your blindfold on? Yes.
475
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:44,840
OK.
476
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,359
24 pictures. All right.
477
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:49,680
And the time has started?
478
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:52,120
Hello?
479
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:55,319
OK, I guess that means
the time started.
480
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:56,879
OK, so if I...
481
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,160
AMY SQUEALS, LAUGHS
482
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:06,920
JOEL EXHALES
483
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,439
Follow me.
I can see little bells tinkling.
484
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:18,520
Where are you?
485
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,239
AMY SQUEALS
486
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:24,520
The bells are close!
487
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:27,599
AMY SCREAMS
488
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,879
JOEL GRUNTS
489
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:32,880
Ahh!
490
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,199
The bells have stopped.
491
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:56,720
You've taken the top off.
492
00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:59,880
JOEL GASPS
493
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,720
Where have you gone?
AMY SQUEALS
494
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,719
AMY GASPS
495
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:13,919
Oh, you're so close,
496
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,280
you creepy, creepy bell man.
497
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:18,880
Ha.
498
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:24,079
{\an8}What part of the body is that?
499
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,399
{\an8}Well, I'm sort of content.
500
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:27,640
{\an8}It's what? Nothing.
501
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,239
BELL TOLLS
JOEL STARTLES
502
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:35,520
That's confusing.
503
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:41,159
You've got ten seconds. OK. Good.
504
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,240
I don't know how many photos
I've taken. Ten seconds.
505
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:48,799
WHISTLE BLOWS
506
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:50,159
Where do you think you are?
507
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:51,359
I don't know.
508
00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:52,639
Oh, I didn't think I was here.
509
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:53,880
AMY SIGHS
510
00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:58,559
Well, sort of as I imagined, really.
511
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:02,279
Not a lot of dignity there,
but good, I thought.
512
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:03,439
It's really scary
513
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:05,479
because you're blindfolded
and it's cobble-y
514
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,199
and there's a creepy,
creepy bell man running around.
515
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:10,479
I would very much like
Creepy, Creepy Bell Man
516
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:11,840
to catch on as a name.
517
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,359
Joel, at one point,
Alex was lying on the floor
518
00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:19,199
and you felt his heel up to his sock
519
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,639
all the way up his leg,
520
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:21,919
and then he spoke to you
521
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,759
and you still couldn't work out
what position he was in.
522
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:26,199
Yeah, it was difficult.
523
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,640
I think I became mesmerised
by his thighs.
524
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,439
It happens. OK.
525
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:32,959
This is the end of part two,
526
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:34,280
whether you like it or not.
527
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:46,879
Hello!
528
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:48,159
Welcome back to part three,
529
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:49,959
where this idiot's been
prancing about
530
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:51,719
in the extreme heat
covered in bells.
531
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,239
Yes.
532
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,359
They have to take the most photos
featuring at least 50% of me,
533
00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:59,159
and can take
a maximum of 24 pictures.
534
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,199
Also, I must run when they clap,
535
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,799
and I'm pretty sure
that's the only bit Kumail heard,
536
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:07,520
so here he is now,
as well as Armando and Joanna.
537
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,840
BELLS JANGLE
538
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,720
Alex? Alex, are you there?
539
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:21,279
Can we call a time-out?
540
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,120
I have something very important
to ask you.
541
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:28,160
Alex, I have a medical emergency.
542
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:37,799
Alex, I have a medical emergency,
talk to me.
543
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,280
What is the problem?
544
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:42,319
Right.
545
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,639
BELLS JANGLE
546
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:48,600
JOANNA LAUGHS
547
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,279
I just realised it's really hot,
548
00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,080
and if I clap, you have to run.
549
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,120
KUMAIL LAUGHS
550
00:26:07,120 --> 00:26:08,519
Ah!
551
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:10,359
KUMAIL LAUGHS
552
00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:13,079
{\an8}Are you enjoying running in the sun?
No, I don't like it.
553
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,359
JOANNA LAUGHS
If I make you run,
554
00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:17,320
you might get tired
and then stay still.
555
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,319
How many photos do you think
you've taken, Jo?
556
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:28,839
I think I've taken loads,
557
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:32,359
so you can enjoy
your last ten seconds.
558
00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:34,319
OK. Go, Alex, go!
559
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,359
ARMANDO CLAPS
I've probably used them up,
560
00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:38,400
so I'm just going to keep clapping.
Ah, really?
561
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:42,560
KUMAIL LAUGHS
562
00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:47,879
KUMAIL CLAPS
563
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:49,999
Are you tired?
Yes, I'm really tired.
564
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:51,799
KUMAIL CHORTLES
565
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:53,679
Whoa! I'm sweating pints.
566
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:55,240
Are you all right? No.
567
00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:58,280
Cup of tea? Cup of tea? Yeah. Yeah.
568
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:05,959
As far as I can work out,
569
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,999
Kumail and Joanna
just mainly used this task
570
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,199
as an excuse to make him run around.
571
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:12,959
I enjoyed it. Oh, yeah,
572
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,240
we could tell because you
were hooting like a mad woman.
573
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,039
How did Armando do?
Was Armando the most accurate?
574
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:20,159
Armando did do very well,
575
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:21,999
but Kumail was the only one
who had a proper tactic,
576
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,879
which was to stand as far away
from the noise as possible,
577
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,399
when you're more likely to get more
of me in the field of vision. Wider.
578
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,639
Because I realised early on
that he was ducking.
579
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:31,439
Did you realise that, Joel?
580
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:32,839
No.
581
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,879
That's the difference
between me and Kumail,
582
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,399
because, you know,
he's an incredible actor
583
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:39,319
and he knows sort of
the depth of field... Yeah.
584
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,280
...and I'm going, like, "Ooh, bells!"
585
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:46,199
Joanna's tactic
was to take 87 pictures.
586
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,439
87?
587
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:50,399
And we could only use the first 24
of them, which weren't your best.
588
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,679
Oh, my God. I can show you
what they did if you want.
589
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:53,879
Yes, show me.
590
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,319
So the most photos of 50% of me
591
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,519
was taken by Kumail, who took 12.
592
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:02,759
Ah! Amy and Armando
both got ten photos of me.
593
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:04,479
Joanna, six photos of me.
594
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,919
Joel, just three out of 24.
595
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:09,319
What? Ah.
596
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:10,959
Oh, I'm shocked because I was like,
597
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,839
"I'm OK tanking this one just
to make you miserable,"
598
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,359
and I won! Ha-ha!
599
00:28:16,360 --> 00:28:18,279
Five points to Kumail.
600
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:19,759
Yes. Well done.
601
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,519
So that means Joel got one point,
Joanna, two points.
602
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:24,279
Joint second,
Amy and Armando get four points,
603
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,039
but the winner is Kumail
with five points.
604
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:27,599
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
Well done, Kumail.
605
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:30,879
Lovely. Let's have one more task,
please. Oh, yes.
606
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:32,999
And just like
when Greg goes for a run,
607
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,120
this one involves a lot of staring.
608
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,200
BUZZER BEEPS
609
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:52,119
Hello. Ooh!
610
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,839
Joel. How's it going? Yeah, good.
611
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:56,559
Shall I open this or... Yes.
612
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:57,999
...are you going to banter?
613
00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,880
No, I just want
to watch you put your glasses on.
614
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,599
"Do not look away from this task."
615
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:07,519
"Put nine nuts and/or nails
in the nappy."
616
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:11,279
"Put pine nuts and/or nails..."
617
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,559
Do you want to try to read
that one again?
618
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:18,159
"Put pine nuts and/or nails
in the nappy."
619
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:19,279
Definitely?
620
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:21,400
"Put pine nuts..."
That's the bit I'm worried about.
621
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:23,640
Oh.
622
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:30,599
I read it so many times!
I read it so many times!
623
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,919
I read it so many times.
624
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:34,879
"Every time you look away,
625
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,599
"one minute will be added
to your time."
626
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:41,759
"You have a maximum of 19 minutes.
Fastest wins."
627
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:43,519
{\an8}"Your time starts now."
628
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:46,199
{\an8}I did not really get a...
BUZZER BEEPS
629
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:49,519
{\an8}Oh, you just looked away
from the task.
630
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:51,160
"Put nine nuts..."
631
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,680
"Put nine nuts in..."
632
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:02,959
BUZZER BEEPS
I read it so many times!
633
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,080
I'm sorry!
BUZZER BEEPS
634
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,559
I'm not sure we should bother
seeing the task.
635
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:12,479
I think we've had our fun with this,
haven't we?
636
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:16,560
Look, it's no secret,
I'm losing this whole show...
637
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:20,000
...I find reading the task
the hard bit.
638
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,959
It's not looking great for me.
639
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:26,279
The only saving grace is
640
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,159
I've got a fucking egg in my pocket.
641
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,159
LAUGHTER
642
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:31,759
APPLAUSE
643
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:32,999
Let's do it, man.
644
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,399
Two people up first.
It's Jo, it's Kumail.
645
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:36,799
It's Jo and Kumail.
646
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:38,319
OK, so,
647
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:40,159
{\an8}one minute will be added to my time.
BUZZER BEEPS
648
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:41,319
I'm going to do a quick one.
649
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:42,759
I'm going to give it
a quick one to look around.
650
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:43,959
Right, there's the nappy.
651
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:45,639
{\an8}Right, where are nuts?
652
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:46,719
{\an8}BUZZER BEEPS
653
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:47,800
{\an8}JOANNA GUFFAWS
654
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:53,079
{\an8}BUZZER BEEPS
You definitely just looked...
655
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:55,119
{\an8}ALEX STIFLES LAUGHTER
- I did.
- Yes, you did.
656
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:58,359
Pop Goes The Weasel
657
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:00,600
Why was I still surprised?
658
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:04,120
BUZZER BEEPS
659
00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:07,800
In the nappy...
BUZZER BEEPS
660
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:14,879
BUZZER BEEPS
You just looked away from the task.
661
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:16,680
No, I didn't. That time I did NOT.
662
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:20,439
What are they?
I think that's a party popper.
663
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:21,719
I'm going to do it at the floor.
664
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:22,879
Whoa!
665
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:25,879
I saw there was a hammer in here.
666
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:27,400
Eugh!
667
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,879
BUZZER BEEPS
That's just a hammer.
668
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,199
BUZZER BEEPS, SQUEAKING
Ooh!
669
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:34,720
Nine nuts. There's a nut in there.
670
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:37,399
{\an8}OK, that's a nut.
671
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,439
{\an8}BUZZER BEEPS
Hey, we've got a nut.
672
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:41,760
Is that a nut? It is a nut.
673
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,080
It's so unpleasant.
674
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,959
{\an8}"Put nine nuts..."
God, that is a lot, isn't it?
675
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:49,719
{\an8}What is that?
BUZZER BEEPS
676
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:51,119
{\an8}Oh! It's a nut.
677
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:52,120
{\an8}Ooh.
678
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:54,799
{\an8}BUZZER BEEPS
Nut?
679
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:56,199
No, that was a tiny rubber ducky
680
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:57,359
and you know it.
681
00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:58,839
{\an8}BUZZER BEEPS
It is...
682
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:00,839
{\an8}BUZZER BEEPS
...an egg.
683
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:03,079
JOANNA GIGGLES
684
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,119
BUZZER BEEPS
685
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:07,119
Nuts. That's two nuts.
686
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:08,239
Right.
687
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:09,879
{\an8}BUZZER BEEPS
It's a nail.
688
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,359
{\an8}It's a nail!
689
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:13,519
"Put nine nuts or nails
690
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:14,959
"in the nappy." Ha-ha!
691
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,839
{\an8}JOANNA LAUGHS
692
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:19,279
{\an8}I've got the nail.
693
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:20,639
Is this guy holding something?
694
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:22,479
Oh, my God.
695
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:23,720
He's holding a nut.
696
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:26,199
Oh, my God, were all
the other things
697
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,600
also holding nuts?
BUZZER BEEPS
698
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,999
Oh, wow, that's so small.
BUZZER BEEPS TWICE
699
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:34,999
What is it? It's a nut. Oh.
700
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:36,279
There's something in there.
701
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:37,639
He's going to have
lots of nuts.
702
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:40,879
{\an8}One, two, three, four.
703
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:42,199
Is this the nappy?
704
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,519
You're making me take
underwear off a doll
705
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:47,119
and that feels very wrong.
706
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:48,559
If you want.
707
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:50,079
If I want?
708
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,479
None of this is what I want!
709
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:53,719
I don't think it's big enough
710
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:54,959
to hold everything.
711
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,959
Oh, OK.
So then this would be the nappy.
712
00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:59,400
So I did this for no reason.
713
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:02,639
{\an8}JOANNA GASPS
Damn it!
714
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,399
{\an8}BUZZER BEEPS
It's a nut. OK.
715
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,520
Oh, yeah,
that's nine, baby.
716
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:12,400
I have got nine nuts.
717
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:17,639
Honestly, very proud
of how I handled that.
718
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:19,439
I've stopped the clock. Wow!
719
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:20,920
I feel like I nailed that.
720
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:27,359
I went through a few emotions
with you, Kumail, during that. Yeah.
721
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:30,599
My fear was that people
in Hollywood would be watching,
722
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,599
and they would see you jump with
fear over a jack-in-the-box
723
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:35,679
that you'd set yourself.
724
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,119
And then, of course,
we hit upon the thing
725
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:40,599
that I think everyone
will remember you for,
726
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:43,039
and that's taking tiny pants
off a doll.
727
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:44,720
LAUGHTER DROWNS OUT SPEECH
728
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:48,799
No, you said nappy.
I didn't know there was a nappy
729
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,079
cos we weren't allowed
to look away from the card...
730
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:53,319
Mm. ..and I thought,
"Well, I don't think I could
731
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:56,200
"fit nine nails in
this baby doll's underwear."
732
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,719
Joanna was absolutely on point.
Mm-hm.
733
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:03,919
Sense of absolute authority,
734
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:05,799
particularly proved by,
735
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:07,359
"Right, this is a party popper.
736
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:08,640
"I'm going to fire it on the floor."
737
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,119
Why? Why? Why? In c...
738
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:13,959
I didn't want to
take any of the crew out!
739
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:15,239
Joanna had a very good tactic,
740
00:34:15,240 --> 00:34:16,519
because it's every time
you look away,
741
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:18,159
one minute will be added
to your time, and you said,
742
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,079
"Right, well, I'm going to have
a little look at the beginning..."
743
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:21,639
Yeah. Yeah.
...but if you just carried on...
744
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,439
It's every time you look away.
You could look away once,
745
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:26,159
gather all nine... Oh, my God!
746
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:27,239
We thought you were
going to do that.
747
00:34:27,240 --> 00:34:29,039
You started doing that
and then you stopped yourself.
748
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:32,039
Oh, my God, that's unbelievable.
749
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,399
Kumail, you looked away
so many times.
750
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,919
It took you 12 minutes, 15 seconds
to find the nine things
751
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:40,199
and you looked away 78 times,
so that's... Oh, my God.
752
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,319
...over an hour and a half.
Oh, my God.
753
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:43,559
Over an hour and a half.
754
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:46,359
Compared to Joanna,
5 minutes 40. Oh, thank God.
755
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:49,119
You looked away 31 times,
so that's 36 minutes, 40 seconds.
756
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:50,239
Oh, my God.
757
00:34:50,240 --> 00:34:54,440
Right, now it's Amy and Joel's turn
to put pine nuts in the nappy.
758
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:56,960
Is that a nut?
759
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:02,719
That's a nut. Ah, great.
760
00:35:02,720 --> 00:35:04,399
Are you allergic to nuts?
761
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,599
Oh, no. Yeah, no, I'm fine.
762
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:07,679
Nuts or nails?
763
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:09,079
{\an8}Nuts or nails?
BUZZER BEEPS
764
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:10,599
{\an8}No.
That's a slight look away.
765
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,959
Argh!
766
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:14,480
JOEL SIGHS
767
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:16,760
Nut.
768
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:19,520
That's a nut.
769
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:22,159
Duck.
770
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,000
Eugh! It's wet!
771
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:26,799
{\an8}It's wet and that's soft.
772
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:28,839
That's, like, a hammer or something?
Mm-hm.
773
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:30,119
BUZZER BEEPS
OK. OK.
774
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:31,359
BUZZER BEEPS
OK. O...
775
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:32,919
OK.
776
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,159
Oh, ice. Ice balls.
777
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:36,719
What would an ice ball be?
778
00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:38,639
What is that?!
779
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,960
If it's icy, there could be
something inside the ice.
780
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:44,320
Ha!
781
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:49,759
Oh, it's a duck!
It's a goddamn duck!
782
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:51,039
Is that a finger?
783
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:52,519
Oh, a nail!
784
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:55,359
Nail! These have to melt?
BUZZER BEEPS
785
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:57,319
Oh, yeah.
786
00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:58,719
All right. OK.
787
00:35:58,720 --> 00:36:01,079
Pop Goes The Weasel
788
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:02,960
Huh! Is that a nut?
789
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:06,719
Oh, ha! Oh, yes!
790
00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:08,919
Four of the nails there.
791
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:10,239
Can I get them off?
792
00:36:10,240 --> 00:36:13,519
Oh, baby. It's a duck.
793
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:15,399
It's a... It's a fucking duck!
794
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:16,600
Please be a nut.
795
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:20,799
{\an8}Yes! That is a nut.
796
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:21,920
Oh!
797
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:27,640
Oh, you're trying to melt
an ice ball. Yeah.
798
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:30,519
It's gonna be in one of these,
isn't it?
799
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:31,839
It's gonna be in one of these.
800
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:33,160
Hammer. There's a hammer.
801
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:37,799
Yes.
802
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:39,599
{\an8}Alex, it's nearly out!
803
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:41,199
Great news. Ah!
804
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:42,640
That's out. That's out.
805
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:45,840
Ooh, it's a nail.
806
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:48,439
{\an8}Oh, this is great!
807
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,039
That's out!
808
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:51,639
That's out,
quick as a flash.
809
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:53,479
Last one.
810
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,439
Nails. I haven't got many nails.
811
00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:57,359
There's got to be, like, more nails.
812
00:36:57,360 --> 00:36:59,839
Where do you normally find nails?
BUZZER BEEPS
813
00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:01,399
The wall?
814
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:04,679
JOEL GASPS
Oh! O-o-oh!
815
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:06,640
Stop it! Where's my hammer?
816
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:10,039
You need three more.
817
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:11,880
Oh, that's so fun
to pull out.
818
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:14,359
This is a NAIL nail.
819
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:16,679
{\an8}Oh, it just came out!
BUZZER BEEPS
820
00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:18,439
{\an8}Agh! Stop the clock!
821
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:19,640
{\an8}I've stopped the clock.
822
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:22,519
Ah, that felt cool.
823
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:24,199
30 seconds.
824
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:25,599
Yeah!
825
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:26,719
Oh, I've always
wanted to use
826
00:37:26,720 --> 00:37:28,600
the other side of
the hammer!
827
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:31,840
I've stopped the clock. Yes!
828
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:41,319
Well, I often liken Joel to a child
in this series,
829
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:42,799
and he didn't disappoint.
830
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:45,799
He was the only person
to put nuts in his mouth,
831
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:49,359
he shouted, "Oh, that's so fun
to pull out," about a nail.
832
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:50,519
My favourite quote -
833
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:52,360
"I've always wanted to use
the other side of a hammer!"
834
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:57,159
So great. You know,
it's all fun hitting them in... Mm.
835
00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,159
...but I've never... Pulled one out!
836
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:01,439
...had the confidence
to pull them out.
837
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:04,639
You started off childlike as well,
I thought.
838
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,239
There was actually a still
where I thought,
839
00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:08,039
"Aw, Amy looks
ten years of age there."
840
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:09,159
Yeah. Here, look at her little face.
841
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,280
"Oh, I'm all wet." Aw!
842
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:13,520
You look cute.
843
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:16,479
You certainly got rid
of any innocence
844
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:20,639
once you started defrosting ice
cubes with your cleavage.
845
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:22,560
I found myself going, "Ooh, matron."
846
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:26,639
Well? Well. Yeah, she did do well.
847
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:29,279
She did it in 9 minutes, 8 seconds.
848
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,319
Joel, 18 minutes, 48 seconds.
849
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:34,319
But Joel only looked away
six times in total. Wow!
850
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:35,679
By far the least.
851
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:38,599
Amy looked away ten times
in total... OK.
852
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,719
...which means you scored
24 minutes 48.
853
00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:43,959
Amy, 19 minutes, 8 seconds. Oh, wow.
854
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:45,799
She's in the lead at the moment.
Good. Wow.
855
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,479
Yeah. One person left to see.
856
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:50,159
And is the fact that
you've kept me to the end...
857
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:51,239
It's interesting, isn't it?
858
00:38:51,240 --> 00:38:53,280
...because I might come across
as a lunatic?
859
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:58,240
Well, I'm sure we're all looking
forward to seeing Old MacDonald.
860
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:02,479
Right, that's the end of part three.
861
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:05,759
Soon, someone will win
five ordinary household items
862
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,919
and then have to celebrate
with them onstage
863
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,959
in what is set to be
the blandest end credit sequence
864
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:12,519
we've ever had on the show.
865
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:14,000
We'll see you in a minute.
866
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:25,319
Hello!
867
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:26,719
Here we are, then.
868
00:39:26,720 --> 00:39:28,239
It's the last part of the show,
869
00:39:28,240 --> 00:39:30,879
and the first item on the agenda
is completing a task
870
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,159
involving some intense
concentration.
871
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:36,879
Yes, because they have to stare at
the task the whole time
872
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:39,919
while trying to source
nine nuts and/or nails.
873
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,199
And if you're
after a good concentration face,
874
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:45,600
then look no further than
the final attempt with Armando.
875
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:49,600
Ooh, is that a nappy?
876
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:52,520
Got the nappy. Great.
877
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:55,919
Ha-ha, ha-ha!
878
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:57,360
{\an8}I've got a nut! Yes.
879
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,439
{\an8}It's actually quite therapeutic!
880
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,319
Right, I'm done with this. OK.
881
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:05,199
I'm bored with glop.
882
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:06,599
Poppers or something?
883
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:08,440
I mean, as in party poppers. Yeah.
884
00:40:09,720 --> 00:40:11,479
There we go, like that. Ow.
885
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:13,399
Did something come out of that,
did you say? Yeah, it hit me.
886
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,320
{\an8}Yeah. So if I do that...
887
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:19,839
Oh, it's a nut. Yes.
888
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:21,239
{\an8}Whoa!
889
00:40:21,240 --> 00:40:22,719
{\an8}Right, OK.
890
00:40:22,720 --> 00:40:24,120
Ooh, hang on.
891
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:26,799
{\an8}Can't go wrong with a sock.
892
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:28,599
Oh, right.
893
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:30,119
Oh, yes, there's a nut.
894
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,119
I forgot that I could actually
hold things up in front of me.
895
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:36,479
{\an8}I actually forgot
the use of my eyes.
896
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:39,520
Why are you looking up so high?
Well...
897
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,240
Yes, I could look down, couldn't I?
While I'm doing all this?
898
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,640
Ah! Oh, it's a hammer.
899
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:50,559
Right, what's this?
What the fuck is this?
900
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:52,839
BUZZER BEEPS
Oh, that's...
901
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:54,480
Oh, that's disappointing.
902
00:40:58,160 --> 00:40:59,519
Ooh. Ooh.
903
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,239
{\an8}Ah, a gold mine. Happy days.
904
00:41:02,240 --> 00:41:03,640
{\an8}Yeah.
905
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:12,359
ARMANDO GROANS
906
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,079
Who's that?
907
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:15,639
"Jimmy."
908
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:17,479
Is he, like, a nut?
909
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:20,159
He'll nut you. Jimmy Nut?
Jimmy Nut.
910
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:21,920
{\an8}If it is, it's weak.
911
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:24,719
No, it's not Jimmy Nut.
912
00:41:24,720 --> 00:41:26,399
{\an8}Ooh!
913
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:27,719
{\an8}Something fell there.
914
00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:29,799
Aha, there's a nut.
915
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:31,839
{\an8}BUZZER BEEPS
And while I'm here, I might as well
916
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,040
{\an8}just do a general sweep
round as I turn.
917
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:41,639
{\an8}BUZZER BEEPING REPEATEDLY
918
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:42,959
{\an8}There we go. Ah.
919
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:44,800
{\an8}ARMANDO LAUGHS
- Stop the clock?
- Oh!
920
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:51,559
It was Jimmy Nail, not Jimmy Nut.
921
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,359
Exactly. Jimmy Nail.
Yeah, I worked it out now.
922
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:56,360
I worked it out now. I just got it.
923
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,040
There was character work there -
"Ooh, the hammer!"
924
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:06,399
I think this episode
has set you free.
925
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:07,600
Can't wait for the finale.
926
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:11,279
Well, he was doing well.
927
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:13,119
He was quite quick -
11 minutes, 11 seconds.
928
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:15,399
But there were 35 looks away.
929
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:16,919
So scores-wise,
930
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:19,639
obviously, Kumail, one point
with an hour and a half.
931
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,599
Armando, you were second last,
you get two points -
932
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:23,839
46 minutes in total.
933
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:27,279
Joanna, third, three points,
Joel, second, four points.
934
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:29,839
The winner was Amy Gledhill
with 19 minutes and 5 points!
935
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:31,999
Wow. Fabulous.
936
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,119
OK, everyone,
937
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:35,600
please make your way to the stage
for the final task of the show!
938
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,719
Who will be reading the task out,
young man?
939
00:42:44,720 --> 00:42:46,879
Amy Gledhill. Gledhill!
940
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:48,439
Sir.
941
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:52,599
"Wearing your mask correctly
at all times,
942
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:57,519
"tell your team-mate
when to stop with their mop.
943
00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:02,119
"The person whose mop stops
closest to their face
944
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:06,599
"without touching their face
wins the round.
945
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:11,199
"The mop bearer must slowly walk
at a constant pace
946
00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:14,600
"and softly squeak
at a constant volume.
947
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:20,119
"Best team after five rounds wins."
948
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:21,479
It's a team task.
949
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,479
Joanna and Armando are one team,
of course,
950
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:25,919
and then we've got
the team of three.
951
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:27,159
It's like a squeaky joust.
952
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:30,319
It's what Henry VIII used to do
with his many wives.
953
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:31,720
Let's squeak-joust!
954
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:39,720
ARMANDO AND KUMAIL SQUEAK
955
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:42,839
Stop!
956
00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:44,439
KUMAIL SQUEAKS
Stop!
957
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:47,519
- Ooh!
- Ooh!
OOHING & AHHING
958
00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:49,599
Stay there.
I'm going to measure, I think.
959
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:51,839
Mm. From the nose to the mop,
960
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:53,679
we have 60cm,
961
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:55,359
to the middle of the mop.
962
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:56,839
We have 45cm.
963
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:57,999
The team of two are 1-0 up.
964
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,160
Oh!
CHEERING
965
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:04,279
Very impressive.
966
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:06,199
On the whistle, squeak.
967
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:12,960
JOANNA AND AMY SQUEAK
968
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:18,559
Stop.
969
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:20,119
AMY SQUEAKS
Stop!
970
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:22,079
Oh!
971
00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:24,359
He's struck.
The mop touched the face.
972
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:25,760
The team of two win again.
Oh, no! Oh!
973
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:29,200
Oh, very good! Woohoo!
974
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:33,039
Come on! So close. Round three.
975
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:34,879
2-0 to the team of two so far, Greg.
976
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,559
Come on, team. Ready, squeak.
977
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:43,239
JOEL AND ARMANDO SQUEAK
978
00:44:43,240 --> 00:44:44,439
Stop!
979
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:46,479
JOEL SQUEAKS
Stop!
980
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:49,239
Whoa!
Oh!
981
00:44:49,240 --> 00:44:51,399
APPLAUSE
Oh, that was good.
982
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:52,639
Ahh!
983
00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:54,959
The team of three are back in it.
Ooh! It's 2-1. 2-1.
984
00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:56,479
CHEERING
985
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:59,479
Can I be Amy? Yeah! Ooh!
986
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:00,759
I'm cool with that.
I'm cool with that.
987
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:02,359
If you wouldn't mind
raising your mops.
988
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:03,799
Do I look good? Yes.
989
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:05,879
You look fantastic.
Masks on.
990
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:07,719
Do not slow down, and squeak.
991
00:45:07,720 --> 00:45:15,680
JOANNA AND KUMAIL SQUEAK
992
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:18,319
Stop!
993
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:20,359
KUMAIL SQUEAKS
Stop!
994
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,959
AUDIENCE GASP
- Oh!
- Ooh!
995
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:24,879
I think it's fine.
Yeah.
996
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:27,319
I think it's fine.
It's a centimetre.
997
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:28,959
I've gone metric. Wait, really?
998
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:30,319
The team of two have won again.
999
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:32,359
AMY GASPS
It's 3-1 to the team of two.
1000
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:34,319
Wow. Yay! Oh.
1001
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:35,799
It was so close.
1002
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,240
The best celebration from Amy
for a loss there.
1003
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:40,839
OK, it's the final round, Greg.
1004
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:42,039
Again, constant pace.
1005
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:44,119
No slowing down, and squeak.
WHISTLE BLOWS
1006
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:50,759
ARMANDO AND AMY SQUEAK
1007
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:52,519
Stop!
Stop!
1008
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:55,639
AMY SQUEAKS
Ooh, this is close.
1009
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:58,159
OK, to the edge of the mop
this time.
1010
00:45:58,160 --> 00:45:59,839
31cm.
1011
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:01,520
Whoa!
To the edge of the mop...
1012
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:04,279
...13cm. They've won again.
1013
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:06,079
At 4-1, the team of two wins.
1014
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:08,319
CHEERING
1015
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:09,919
We'll add that to the scores.
1016
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:12,520
Come down and join me. Well done.
1017
00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:19,119
What an enjoyable game.
1018
00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:22,679
Joanna and Armando were in sync,
weren't they? In sync.
1019
00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:26,599
They won 4-1, which, of course,
converts to 5-2 in points. Mm.
1020
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:28,199
So it's two points
to the team of three,
1021
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:29,999
five to Joanna and Armando.
There it is!
1022
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:31,999
CHEERING
1023
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:33,599
We're on the way!
1024
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:35,439
So... So a close episode.
1025
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,399
The team of two both got 18 points.
1026
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:40,239
They're both in second place,
1027
00:46:40,240 --> 00:46:41,880
cos Amy's got 19 points!
1028
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,839
Amy Gledhill wins!
1029
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:49,319
As is the show's formality,
1030
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:52,760
please get your objects
with a personality!
1031
00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:56,560
It's Amy Gledhill!
1032
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:13,080
Whoa-ahh!
1033
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:19,800
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
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