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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,778 --> 00:00:19,909 WOW. 2 00:00:35,926 --> 00:00:37,468 ( camera clicks ) 3 00:00:56,788 --> 00:00:57,819 HEY! 4 00:00:57,819 --> 00:01:01,793 ARE YOU A GOOD WITCH OR A BAD WITCH? 5 00:01:01,793 --> 00:01:04,656 I WANT YOU TO KNOW I HAVE BEATEN A MAN UNCONSCIOUS BEFORE. 6 00:01:04,656 --> 00:01:06,829 SO... A BAD WITCH. 7 00:01:06,829 --> 00:01:08,500 - WHO ARE YOU? GET OFF MY COUCH! - OKAY. 8 00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:09,762 WHERE'D YOU COME FROM? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. 9 00:01:09,762 --> 00:01:11,704 - YES, MA'AM. - DID YOU STEAL? 10 00:01:11,704 --> 00:01:13,706 DID YOU STEAL FROM A HELPLESS OLD WOMAN? 11 00:01:13,706 --> 00:01:15,808 I DIDN'T. I'M SORRY. MICHELLE TOLD ME WHERE YOU KEPT YOUR KEY 12 00:01:15,808 --> 00:01:16,839 AND THAT YOU WERE OUT OF TOWN, AND I JUST-- 13 00:01:16,839 --> 00:01:17,840 MICHELLE? 14 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:19,542 HUH? 15 00:01:19,542 --> 00:01:21,775 MICHELLE TOLD YOU WHERE I KEPT MY KEY? 16 00:01:21,775 --> 00:01:24,818 MICHELLE WHO? 17 00:01:26,950 --> 00:01:29,553 YOU TOLD HIM WHERE I KEPT MY KEY?! 18 00:01:29,553 --> 00:01:30,824 OH, YOU'RE KIDDING. 19 00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:31,885 FANNY, YOU'RE BACK. 20 00:01:31,885 --> 00:01:33,687 I'M GONE TWO WEEKS, I COME BACK 21 00:01:33,687 --> 00:01:35,629 AND YOU'RE IN BED WITH A CHILD WHO WEARS FLIP-FLOPS 22 00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,261 - IN PUBLIC. - HEY, FANNY. 23 00:01:37,261 --> 00:01:39,663 - HELLO, GODOT. - I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE COMING BACK TODAY. 24 00:01:39,663 --> 00:01:41,836 HOW MANY MEN DO YOU HAVE STASHED AROUND HERE, HUH? 25 00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:43,467 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO COME BACK NEXT WEEK. 26 00:01:43,467 --> 00:01:44,839 - OH, IS THAT ME? - THERE'S A MAN IN MY LIVING ROOM, 27 00:01:44,839 --> 00:01:46,571 - A MAN IN YOUR BED. - I WROTE IT DOWN. 28 00:01:46,571 --> 00:01:47,642 WHOA. 29 00:01:47,642 --> 00:01:48,703 IS THERE ONE IN THE GARAGE? 30 00:01:48,703 --> 00:01:49,844 THREE IN THE POTTING SHED? 31 00:01:49,844 --> 00:01:51,306 SEE? NEXT WEEK. THE 20th. 32 00:01:51,306 --> 00:01:52,577 TODAY IS THE 20th. 33 00:01:52,577 --> 00:01:53,909 CRAP. I MISSED MY DENTIST APPOINTMENT. 34 00:01:53,909 --> 00:01:55,310 WHO WAS THE MAN IN MY HOUSE? 35 00:01:55,310 --> 00:01:56,651 I DON'T KNOW. 36 00:01:56,651 --> 00:01:58,513 YOU TOLD HIM TO STAY THERE. YOU SHOWED HIM MY KEY. 37 00:01:58,513 --> 00:01:59,715 - I DID? - I'M SORRY. 38 00:01:59,715 --> 00:02:01,056 I THOUGHT SHE WAS OUT OF TOWN. 39 00:02:01,056 --> 00:02:02,588 - SCOTTY? - WHO'S SCOTTY? 40 00:02:02,588 --> 00:02:03,889 - I'M SCOTTY. - SCOTTY'S MY BROTHER. 41 00:02:03,889 --> 00:02:05,621 - EXCUSE ME. - I THOUGHT YOU LEFT. 42 00:02:05,621 --> 00:02:07,823 I DID LEAVE, BUT I NEEDED A PLACE TO STAY FOR A FEW DAYS, 43 00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:09,425 AND I DIDN'T WANT TO BOTHER YOU. 44 00:02:09,425 --> 00:02:11,697 SO YOU BROKE INTO MY HOUSE LIKE ROBERT DOWNEY, JR.? 45 00:02:11,697 --> 00:02:12,969 YOU CAN'T JUST COME IN AND OUT LIKE THIS. 46 00:02:12,969 --> 00:02:14,370 - YOU SHOULD GET UP. - I'M KIND OF-- 47 00:02:14,370 --> 00:02:15,972 - I KNOW. I'M SORRY. - YOU HAVE TO CALL. 48 00:02:15,972 --> 00:02:17,774 - I LOST MY PHONE. - WHO LOSES THEIR PHONE? 49 00:02:17,774 --> 00:02:19,035 LOTS OF PEOPLE LOSE THEIR PHONES. 50 00:02:19,035 --> 00:02:20,707 CAN SOMEONE HAND ME A TOWEL OR A THROW BLANKET? 51 00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:21,978 MY HOUSE IS NOT A HOSTEL. 52 00:02:21,978 --> 00:02:23,710 IT IS WHERE I LIVE AND SLEEP. 53 00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,782 - I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS COMING. - A DISHCLOTH MAYBE? 54 00:02:25,782 --> 00:02:27,484 - I THINK I LEFT IT IN MONTEREY. - THEN GO BACK AND GET IT. 55 00:02:27,484 --> 00:02:28,916 - OH, I'M NOT GOING BACK TO MONTEREY. - WHY? WHAT'S HER NAME? 56 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:30,447 - WHOSE NAME? - A TEA KETTLE? 57 00:02:30,447 --> 00:02:32,019 WHOEVER IT IS THAT CHASED HIM OUT OF MONTEREY. 58 00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,851 - BAKING SHEET? - YOU ARE JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS AGAIN. 59 00:02:33,851 --> 00:02:36,524 - A SKILLET. - HOW ABOUT SOME PANTS? 60 00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,456 BEFORE THE BAKING SHEET AND THE SKILLET, 61 00:02:38,456 --> 00:02:40,458 HOW ABOUT WE FIND YOU YOUR PANTS? 62 00:02:40,458 --> 00:02:41,459 PANTS WOULD WORK. 63 00:02:41,459 --> 00:02:42,730 FIND HIS PANTS. 64 00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:43,861 PANTS, PANTS, PANTS. 65 00:02:43,861 --> 00:02:44,862 MAYBE I DON'T LIKE AQUARIUMS. 66 00:02:44,862 --> 00:02:46,764 OR MONTEREY JACK CHEESE. 67 00:02:46,764 --> 00:02:48,837 MAYBE CHEESE AND AQUARIUMS ARE WHY I WON'T GO BACK TO MONTEREY. 68 00:02:48,837 --> 00:02:50,438 - DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT? - I DON'T SEE ANY PANTS. 69 00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:51,610 LAST NIGHT, YOU SURE YOU HAD PANTS? 70 00:02:51,610 --> 00:02:53,041 PRETTY SURE. 71 00:02:53,041 --> 00:02:54,843 RETRACE YOUR STEPS. YOU STARTED THIS WHOLE THING WHERE? 72 00:02:54,843 --> 00:02:56,575 CAR. WE STARTED IN THE CAR. 73 00:02:56,575 --> 00:02:58,046 HOW CLASSY. COME ON. 74 00:02:58,046 --> 00:03:00,049 OUT THERE. 75 00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:02,051 OH, GOT A BELT! 76 00:03:03,582 --> 00:03:05,584 SO, HOW'S OCEANOGRAPHY GOING? 77 00:03:10,830 --> 00:03:12,862 ( theme music playing ) 78 00:03:32,052 --> 00:03:35,586 HUH. WELL, IF SIZE COUNTS, THEN IT'S BIG. 79 00:03:35,586 --> 00:03:36,918 WHAT DOES IT SAY? 80 00:03:36,918 --> 00:03:38,389 WELCOME BACK, MADAME FANNY. 81 00:03:38,389 --> 00:03:40,621 - OH. - I WAS TRYING FOR SURREALISM. 82 00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:41,793 WERE YOU TRYING TO SPELL IT PROPERLY? 83 00:03:41,793 --> 00:03:43,865 - 'CAUSE FANNY HAS TWO "N"s. - AND AN "F." 84 00:03:43,865 --> 00:03:45,527 - AND AN "A." - IT'S ALL THERE. IT'S JUST SURREAL. 85 00:03:45,527 --> 00:03:46,698 GINNY, DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY, 86 00:03:46,698 --> 00:03:48,870 - BUT YOU STINK. - OH, I WON'T. THANKS. 87 00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:50,872 I MEAN, YOU WORKED ON THIS FOR HOURS. 88 00:03:50,872 --> 00:03:52,734 WHAT EXACTLY IS FRANKIE TEACHING YOU ANYHOW, 89 00:03:52,734 --> 00:03:54,736 'CAUSE IT SURE AIN'T DRAWING. 90 00:03:54,736 --> 00:03:56,008 AND WHAT'S ALL THAT AT THE BOTTOM THERE? 91 00:03:56,008 --> 00:03:57,810 - PEARS. - PEARS? 92 00:03:57,810 --> 00:03:58,941 I'M WORKING ON STILL LIFES. 93 00:03:58,941 --> 00:04:00,412 I WAS PRACTICING PEARS. 94 00:04:00,412 --> 00:04:01,744 IS SHE HERE YET? 95 00:04:01,744 --> 00:04:03,145 - NOT YET. - GOOD. 96 00:04:03,145 --> 00:04:04,887 I WANT TO SEE HER FACE WHEN SHE SEES YOU TIED FLOWERS 97 00:04:04,887 --> 00:04:06,549 TO HER NEWLY SANDED BARRES. 98 00:04:06,549 --> 00:04:07,750 HOW LOUD DO YOU THINK THAT'LL BE? 99 00:04:07,750 --> 00:04:09,492 ( sighs ) 100 00:04:09,492 --> 00:04:11,925 OOH, THAT'S A BIG BANNER. 101 00:04:11,925 --> 00:04:13,596 WHO'S "TRANNY?" 102 00:04:13,596 --> 00:04:15,659 AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY VAN GOGH CUT HIS EAR OFF. 103 00:04:17,731 --> 00:04:20,504 - ARTISTS ARE SO TEMPERAMENTAL. - SO'S GINNY. 104 00:04:21,705 --> 00:04:23,207 ( gasps ) 105 00:04:23,207 --> 00:04:26,040 - ( applause ) - THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 106 00:04:27,071 --> 00:04:30,745 THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH. 107 00:04:30,745 --> 00:04:33,217 OH, HOW I'VE MISSED YOU ALL. 108 00:04:33,217 --> 00:04:34,819 I THOUGHT ABOUT YOU DAILY 109 00:04:34,819 --> 00:04:37,051 AS I CHANTED, AS I MEDITATED, 110 00:04:37,051 --> 00:04:38,753 AS I DRANK THE SPIRITUAL TEA 111 00:04:38,753 --> 00:04:40,755 THAT OPENED MY CONSCIOUSNESS. 112 00:04:40,755 --> 00:04:42,127 AND NOW I AM BACK. 113 00:04:42,127 --> 00:04:44,029 AND WE HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO. 114 00:04:44,029 --> 00:04:45,560 WE'LL START CLASS IN A MINUTE. 115 00:04:46,761 --> 00:04:48,093 SPIRITUAL TEA, HUH? 116 00:04:48,093 --> 00:04:50,766 COMPLETELY LEGAL. WITH A PRESCRIPTION. 117 00:04:50,766 --> 00:04:52,598 FANNY, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK. 118 00:04:52,598 --> 00:04:53,669 DID YOU HEAR? 119 00:04:53,669 --> 00:04:54,740 I DON'T KNOW, DID I? 120 00:04:54,740 --> 00:04:56,742 YEAH, I KIND OF MEANT TO TELL YOU. 121 00:04:56,742 --> 00:04:58,744 SPARKLES IS DEAD. KAPUT. 122 00:04:58,744 --> 00:04:59,805 SWIMS WITH THE FISHES. 123 00:04:59,805 --> 00:05:01,547 - WHAT? - YEAH. WEIRDLY, 124 00:05:01,547 --> 00:05:03,009 ONLY BEING OPEN EIGHT HOURS A WEEK, 125 00:05:03,009 --> 00:05:04,811 NOT ENOUGH TO KEEP A BUSINESS GOING. WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT? 126 00:05:04,811 --> 00:05:06,983 - TRULY. - NOT YOUR FAULT. 127 00:05:06,983 --> 00:05:08,685 - I KNOW. - YOU DID YOUR BEST. 128 00:05:08,685 --> 00:05:10,957 - I KNOW. - I TRIED. I FAILED. 129 00:05:10,957 --> 00:05:13,490 HOW COULD YOU LEAVE THIS OUT? 130 00:05:13,490 --> 00:05:15,091 TRAUMA. BLACKOUT. 131 00:05:15,091 --> 00:05:17,764 I'M SORRY, TRULY. 132 00:05:17,764 --> 00:05:19,696 DON'T BE. THAT'S HOW LIFE WORKS. 133 00:05:19,696 --> 00:05:21,769 SOME PEOPLE CAN BE THE FUNNIEST GUY IN THE SPORTS BAR, 134 00:05:21,769 --> 00:05:23,570 AND WIND UP HOSTING A LATE NIGHT TELEVISION SHOW, 135 00:05:23,570 --> 00:05:25,633 AND OTHER PEOPLE ARE ME. THEY LOSE. 136 00:05:25,633 --> 00:05:27,535 WHATEVER. MOVING ON. LEMONADE. 137 00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:29,036 - WHAT? - I'M MAKING LEMONADE. 138 00:05:29,036 --> 00:05:30,778 FROM LIFE'S LEMONS. 139 00:05:30,778 --> 00:05:32,510 - GOT IT. - BUT NOW THAT MY BUSINESS IS GONE, 140 00:05:32,510 --> 00:05:34,082 I HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO REFRESH YOUR WARDROBE. 141 00:05:34,082 --> 00:05:35,743 THESE COSTUMES ARE IN TERRIBLE SHAPE, 142 00:05:35,743 --> 00:05:36,744 BUT WHEN I GET DONE WITH THEM, 143 00:05:36,744 --> 00:05:38,216 I WILL STILL BE A GIGANTIC LOSER 144 00:05:38,216 --> 00:05:40,548 AND THEY WILL LOOK FANTASTIC. 145 00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:42,891 THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME. 146 00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:46,224 ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE TO THE BARRE. 147 00:05:49,228 --> 00:05:50,759 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 148 00:05:50,759 --> 00:05:51,800 OVER TO THE BARRE. 149 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,762 - WHY? - I THOUGHT I'D TAKE CLASS. 150 00:05:53,762 --> 00:05:55,835 ( chuckles ) YOU'RE KIDDING. 151 00:05:55,835 --> 00:05:57,636 NO. JUST FOR FUN. 152 00:05:57,636 --> 00:05:58,708 YOU MIND? 153 00:05:58,708 --> 00:05:59,769 I DO NOT MIND. 154 00:05:59,769 --> 00:06:01,240 OKAY, GOOD. 155 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:02,772 I'LL BE OVER THERE. 156 00:06:02,772 --> 00:06:05,114 ( piano music playing ) 157 00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:06,776 HOLD ON TO YOUR SOCKS, KID. 158 00:06:06,776 --> 00:06:08,918 YOU'RE GONNA SEE SOME MOVES. 159 00:06:08,918 --> 00:06:11,651 FIRST POSITION. PORT DE BRAS. 160 00:06:11,651 --> 00:06:13,653 AND DOWN. 161 00:06:16,086 --> 00:06:17,628 DEMI PLIE. 162 00:06:19,089 --> 00:06:20,130 INTIMIDATED YET? 163 00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:27,098 ( kids chattering ) 164 00:06:27,098 --> 00:06:29,100 UH... 165 00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:30,842 THAT'S RIGHT. I AM WORKING. 166 00:06:30,842 --> 00:06:32,103 FANNY ASKED ME TO HELP OUT A LITTLE AROUND HERE, 167 00:06:32,103 --> 00:06:33,244 AND I SAID SURE. 168 00:06:33,244 --> 00:06:34,305 - SHE ASKED? - YEAH. 169 00:06:34,305 --> 00:06:36,648 - DID SHE ASK NICELY? - VERY NICELY. 170 00:06:36,648 --> 00:06:37,909 DID SHE SAY "PLEASE, SCOTTY, 171 00:06:37,909 --> 00:06:39,781 WOULD YOU BE SO KIND AS TO HELP ME 172 00:06:39,781 --> 00:06:41,183 AND IN EXCHANGE THERE'LL BE ICED TEA 173 00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:43,115 AND TALES OF LIFE FROM THE OLD COUNTRY." 174 00:06:43,115 --> 00:06:44,786 IN A VERY DIFFERENT SET OF WORDS, YES. 175 00:06:44,786 --> 00:06:46,258 YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO HER AND NEGOTIATE YOUR RELEASE? 176 00:06:46,258 --> 00:06:48,861 NO, I'M FINE. IN EXCHANGE FOR ME CRASHING ON HER COUCH, 177 00:06:48,861 --> 00:06:50,262 I'M DOING SOME CHORES. SEEMS FAIR. 178 00:06:50,262 --> 00:06:51,664 VERY FAIR. 179 00:06:51,664 --> 00:06:53,265 I MEAN, A LITTLE HARD WORK'S GOOD FOR A MAN. 180 00:06:53,265 --> 00:06:54,867 FOR A MAN, SURE. 181 00:06:54,867 --> 00:06:56,729 HEY, I'M THE SON OF A LABORER, SO IT'S IN MY BLOOD. 182 00:06:56,729 --> 00:06:58,301 YEAH, WE DON'T KNOW FOR SURE THAT YOU'RE THE SON OF A LABORER. 183 00:06:58,301 --> 00:07:00,633 - DAD WAS A LABORER. - MY DAD WAS A LABORER. 184 00:07:00,633 --> 00:07:01,904 WE HAVE THE SAME DAD. 185 00:07:01,904 --> 00:07:02,976 ( chuckles ) OKAY. 186 00:07:02,976 --> 00:07:05,238 - WE HAVE THE SAME NOSE. - BACK TO WORK. 187 00:07:18,652 --> 00:07:20,124 OKAY. 188 00:07:20,124 --> 00:07:22,256 WHAT WEIRD PLACE ARE YOU WATCHING ME FROM? 189 00:07:22,256 --> 00:07:23,928 NOTHING WEIRD ABOUT IT. 190 00:07:23,928 --> 00:07:25,800 - HI. - YOU BRING IT? 191 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,131 - BE RIGHT DOWN. - WAIT. 192 00:07:27,131 --> 00:07:28,663 I COULD JUST COME UP. 193 00:07:29,804 --> 00:07:30,835 NEVER MIND. 194 00:07:36,811 --> 00:07:38,673 - GIVE ME. - HOLD ON. 195 00:07:42,117 --> 00:07:44,119 NOW GIVE ME. 196 00:07:44,119 --> 00:07:45,381 I JUST WANT TO GO ON RECORD 197 00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:46,782 THAT I THINK THIS IS VERY STRANGE. 198 00:07:46,782 --> 00:07:48,254 LET THE RECORD SO STIPULATE. 199 00:07:48,254 --> 00:07:49,785 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - I'M GONNA READ IT. 200 00:07:49,785 --> 00:07:50,986 IN FRONT OF ME? 201 00:07:50,986 --> 00:07:52,788 YOU CAN TURN AROUND IF YOU WANT. 202 00:07:52,788 --> 00:07:54,130 SHOULD WE TALK ABOUT IT FIRST? 203 00:07:54,130 --> 00:07:55,792 NOPE. 204 00:07:55,792 --> 00:07:57,794 - BUT I COULD JUST-- - SHH. 205 00:07:57,794 --> 00:07:59,666 ( sighs ) 206 00:07:59,666 --> 00:08:01,067 I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THIS. 207 00:08:01,067 --> 00:08:02,799 I'VE NEVER HEARD OF A GIRLFRIEND ASKING 208 00:08:02,799 --> 00:08:03,940 A BOYFRIEND TO DO THIS. 209 00:08:03,940 --> 00:08:05,342 - "ANNA KARENINA." - WHAT? 210 00:08:05,342 --> 00:08:06,803 - HAVE YOU READ IT? - NO. 211 00:08:06,803 --> 00:08:08,145 DO YOU READ ANYTHING RUSSIAN? 212 00:08:08,145 --> 00:08:09,947 PUSSY RIOT'S LINER NOTES. 213 00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:11,949 IN RUSSIAN SOCIETY, A MAN WOULD OFTEN 214 00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:13,280 SHOW A WOMAN HIS DIARIES SO SHE WOULD KNOW 215 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:15,152 OF HIS PAST INTIMATE RELATIONS. 216 00:08:15,152 --> 00:08:16,413 I DON'T-- 217 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,815 I JUST-- WHAT? 218 00:08:17,815 --> 00:08:19,687 HMM. 219 00:08:19,687 --> 00:08:20,818 HMM? WHAT HMM? 220 00:08:20,818 --> 00:08:22,119 WHAT DOES THIS SAY? 221 00:08:22,119 --> 00:08:24,462 ( sighs ) "BATHROOM." 222 00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:25,793 UPSTAIRS BATHROOM? 223 00:08:25,793 --> 00:08:27,795 YES. UPSTAIRS BATHROOM. 224 00:08:27,795 --> 00:08:28,796 VERY ROMANTIC. 225 00:08:28,796 --> 00:08:29,998 OKAY, SERIOUSLY. 226 00:08:29,998 --> 00:08:31,399 HOLD ON. 227 00:08:31,399 --> 00:08:33,071 ( sighs ) 228 00:08:36,805 --> 00:08:38,807 - THIS IS ALL OF IT? - YES. 229 00:08:38,807 --> 00:08:40,078 AND IT'S ALL TRUE? 230 00:08:40,078 --> 00:08:41,810 SASHA, SERIOUSLY? 231 00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:43,282 ( sighs ) 232 00:08:43,282 --> 00:08:44,813 YES, IT'S ALL TRUE. 233 00:08:44,813 --> 00:08:46,816 IT'S 100% TRUE, OKAY? 234 00:08:49,819 --> 00:08:51,220 OKAY. 235 00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:52,421 THANK YOU. 236 00:08:52,421 --> 00:08:53,823 YOU'RE WELCOME. 237 00:08:53,823 --> 00:08:54,954 DOSVEEDANYA. 238 00:08:59,159 --> 00:09:01,161 ( sighs ) 239 00:09:01,161 --> 00:09:02,832 I COULDN'T DATE A CHEERLEADER. 240 00:09:08,508 --> 00:09:10,771 BOY, HE HAD A VERY ACTIVE EIGHTH GRADE. 241 00:09:10,771 --> 00:09:12,513 WAS THIS WHEN JENNY DIVUCIO WAS FAT OR THIN? 242 00:09:12,513 --> 00:09:13,774 - FAT. - WOW. 243 00:09:13,774 --> 00:09:14,975 AT LEAST HE'S NOT SHALLOW. 244 00:09:14,975 --> 00:09:15,916 YOU THINK IT'S ALL TRUE? 245 00:09:15,916 --> 00:09:17,979 I'D SAY IT'S 60 TO 65% TRUE. 246 00:09:17,979 --> 00:09:19,520 THE LEMONADE GIRLS AT HOT DOG ON A STICK STORY 247 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,152 SMACKS A BIT OF HOWARD STERN. 248 00:09:21,152 --> 00:09:23,254 WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ALL THIS INFORMATION ANYHOW? 249 00:09:23,254 --> 00:09:24,786 YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. 250 00:09:24,786 --> 00:09:26,858 YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE THEY SAY? THAT WAS NOT AN ANSWER. 251 00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:28,990 RIDICULOUS. THIS IS NOT WHAT WE ASKED FOR, BOO. 252 00:09:28,990 --> 00:09:30,332 AND FRANKLY, I DON'T APPRECIATE 253 00:09:30,332 --> 00:09:31,933 CARL NOT TAKING IT SERIOUSLY. 254 00:09:31,933 --> 00:09:33,795 - I THINK IT'S CUTE. - WE ASKED HIM-- 255 00:09:33,795 --> 00:09:35,137 YOU ASKED HIM 256 00:09:35,137 --> 00:09:37,139 FOR A FULL ACCOUNTING OF ALL OF HIS INTIMATE EXPERIENCES, 257 00:09:37,139 --> 00:09:38,801 - AND HE GIVES YOU THIS. - SO? 258 00:09:38,801 --> 00:09:40,002 - IT'S A COMIC BOOK. - ( bell dings ) 259 00:09:40,002 --> 00:09:41,804 MY POT ROAST IS READY. 260 00:09:41,804 --> 00:09:43,546 REMEMBER THE JIFFY POP DAYS? 261 00:09:43,546 --> 00:09:44,947 WE WERE JUST KIDS BACK THEN. 262 00:09:44,947 --> 00:09:46,979 IT'S NOT A COMIC BOOK. IT'S A GRAPHIC NOVEL. 263 00:09:46,979 --> 00:09:49,312 THIS IS NOT A LIST. WE ASKED FOR A LIST. 264 00:09:49,312 --> 00:09:50,953 WELL, HE THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE MORE CREATIVE. 265 00:09:50,953 --> 00:09:52,815 NO ONE'S EVEN HUMAN IN IT. 266 00:09:52,815 --> 00:09:53,987 YEAH, WHICH ANIMAL'S SUPPOSED TO BE CARL? 267 00:09:53,987 --> 00:09:55,088 THE MUSKRAT IN THE JOGGING SUIT. 268 00:09:55,088 --> 00:09:56,489 IT'S NOT EVEN ABOUT DATING. 269 00:09:56,489 --> 00:09:58,922 ON PAGE FIVE, THE MUSKRAT TAKES THE SLOW BOAT TO CHINA. 270 00:09:58,922 --> 00:10:00,524 GOD, THAT SMELLS DELICIOUS. 271 00:10:00,524 --> 00:10:02,065 THERE'S THREE HEADS OF GARLIC IN THERE. 272 00:10:02,065 --> 00:10:03,467 GOOD THING WE DON'T HAVE BOYFRIENDS. 273 00:10:03,467 --> 00:10:04,928 WE'RE GONNA REEK FOR A MONTH. 274 00:10:04,928 --> 00:10:07,070 YOU KNOW, THE DRAWINGS ARE PRETTY GOOD HERE, BOO. 275 00:10:07,070 --> 00:10:08,872 MAYBE I SHOULD TRY A DIFFERENT STYLE OF ART. 276 00:10:08,872 --> 00:10:09,974 YOU THINK CARL COULD GIVE ME SOME TIPS? 277 00:10:09,974 --> 00:10:11,335 YOU CHEATING ON YOUR ART TEACHER? 278 00:10:11,335 --> 00:10:12,807 JUST TRYING TO KEEP HIM INTERESTED. 279 00:10:12,807 --> 00:10:14,378 MY PEARS SURE AREN'T DOING IT. 280 00:10:14,378 --> 00:10:17,011 YEAH, I KNOW HOW THAT SOUNDED AND YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 281 00:10:17,011 --> 00:10:19,544 THIS IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP, BOO. 282 00:10:19,544 --> 00:10:20,985 - DON'T YOU CARE? - ABOUT WHAT? 283 00:10:20,985 --> 00:10:22,447 ABOUT THE THINGS CARL'S DONE. 284 00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:23,818 NO, NOT REALLY. 285 00:10:23,818 --> 00:10:25,220 BUT WHAT HE'S DONE AFFECTS YOU. 286 00:10:25,220 --> 00:10:27,322 - HOW? - WHAT IF YOU'RE NOT EXPERIENCED ENOUGH, HUH? 287 00:10:27,322 --> 00:10:29,194 THAT CAN RUIN SOME RELATIONSHIPS. 288 00:10:29,194 --> 00:10:31,997 I'M NOT EXPERIENCED ENOUGH. IT SEEMS TO BE FINE SO FAR. 289 00:10:31,997 --> 00:10:33,528 YEAH, HOW EXPERIENCED YOU ARE DOESN'T MATTER TO A LOT OF GUYS. 290 00:10:33,528 --> 00:10:34,860 WHAT IF HE'S GOT A KID? 291 00:10:34,860 --> 00:10:36,061 CARL DOESN'T HAVE A KID. 292 00:10:36,061 --> 00:10:37,533 HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A BIKE. 293 00:10:37,533 --> 00:10:38,864 SO MAYBE IT'S NOT A KID, 294 00:10:38,864 --> 00:10:40,606 BUT IT COULD BE A MYRIAD OF OTHER THINGS, 295 00:10:40,606 --> 00:10:42,938 AND I FIND IT ASTONISHING THAT I'M THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS ROOM 296 00:10:42,938 --> 00:10:44,540 WHO COMPREHENDS HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS. 297 00:10:44,540 --> 00:10:46,342 - ( bell dings ) - MY POPOVERS ARE READY. 298 00:10:51,848 --> 00:10:53,850 ( TV playing ) 299 00:10:58,885 --> 00:11:01,558 - SASHA? - YEAH? 300 00:11:01,558 --> 00:11:03,490 I KNOW YOU'RE MAD ABOUT THE COMIC BOOK, 301 00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:06,033 BUT CAN I BRING CARL A PIECE OF PIE? 302 00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:08,035 I THOUGHT IT WAS A GRAPHIC NOVEL. 303 00:11:09,897 --> 00:11:11,138 I'M NOT MAD. 304 00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:12,139 TAKE HIM PIE. 305 00:11:15,543 --> 00:11:17,945 OH, SHOOT! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO DO 306 00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:19,147 THE FACE MASKS TONIGHT. 307 00:11:19,147 --> 00:11:21,149 WE'LL DO IT NEXT TIME. 308 00:11:21,149 --> 00:11:23,481 I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO A HEALTHY YOUTHFUL GLOW. 309 00:11:26,154 --> 00:11:27,886 OKAY, COME ON. 310 00:11:27,886 --> 00:11:29,888 REALLY? 311 00:11:29,888 --> 00:11:31,220 SHOULD WE WAKE THEM? 312 00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:32,561 THEY LOOK YOUTHFUL ENOUGH TO ME. 313 00:11:34,893 --> 00:11:37,096 YOU KNOW, I READ THAT FRENCH WOMEN DON'T GO TO THE GYM. 314 00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:38,367 THEY JUST USE WEIGHT LOSS CREAM. 315 00:11:38,367 --> 00:11:39,628 SOUNDS RIDICULOUS. 316 00:11:39,628 --> 00:11:41,300 YEAH, BUT IT'D BE NICE IF IT WORKED. 317 00:11:43,973 --> 00:11:45,375 BOO... 318 00:11:45,375 --> 00:11:46,406 I THINK WE NEED TO STEP IT UP. 319 00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:47,577 STEP WHAT UP? 320 00:11:47,577 --> 00:11:50,079 I THINK WE NEED TO CONSIDER HAVING SEX NOW. 321 00:11:50,079 --> 00:11:52,242 WITH EACH OTHER? 322 00:11:52,242 --> 00:11:53,313 NO, WITH ROMAN AND CARL. 323 00:11:54,684 --> 00:11:56,416 ME WITH ROMAN, YOU WITH CARL. 324 00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,088 BUT CARL AND I ARE WAITING. 325 00:11:58,088 --> 00:12:00,220 A YEAR AND A HALF IS A LONG TIME. 326 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,092 TIME THAT INCLUDES DANCES, 327 00:12:02,092 --> 00:12:03,293 PARTIES. 328 00:12:03,293 --> 00:12:04,955 FRIDAY NIGHT PARTIES THAT HE CAN GO TO 329 00:12:04,955 --> 00:12:07,228 AND YOU CAN'T BECAUSE YOU HAVE CLASS IN THE MORNING. 330 00:12:07,228 --> 00:12:08,699 AND THERE'S GIRLS AT THESE PARTIES. 331 00:12:08,699 --> 00:12:10,031 PARTY GIRLS. 332 00:12:10,031 --> 00:12:11,132 THAT TIME ALSO INCLUDES CAMP. 333 00:12:11,132 --> 00:12:12,433 SIX WEEKS WHERE YOU'RE APART. 334 00:12:12,433 --> 00:12:13,704 AND HE'LL BE A JUNIOR COUNSELOR THIS YEAR. 335 00:12:13,704 --> 00:12:15,266 HE'LL WEAR THE GRAY SHORTS. 336 00:12:15,266 --> 00:12:16,708 HE'LL BE DOING BED CHECKS. 337 00:12:16,708 --> 00:12:19,010 HE'LL HAVE PRIVILEGES, POWER. 338 00:12:19,010 --> 00:12:21,272 THAT'S A BIG TURN-ON TO A LOT OF GIRLS. 339 00:12:21,272 --> 00:12:23,044 - I KNOW. - PLUS, IN A YEAR AND A HALF 340 00:12:23,044 --> 00:12:24,576 YOU'RE NOT THE NEW GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE. 341 00:12:24,576 --> 00:12:25,717 YOU'RE JUST THE OLD GIRLFRIEND WHO MADE HIM WAIT 342 00:12:25,717 --> 00:12:27,319 A YEAR AND A HALF. 343 00:12:27,319 --> 00:12:28,720 YOU'RE PLANNING ON DOING IT WITH HIM ANYHOW, 344 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,552 SO WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU JUST MOVE IT UP A BIT? 345 00:12:30,552 --> 00:12:33,085 YOU'RE READY? WITH ROMAN? 346 00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,226 I THINK TIMING IS IMPORTANT. 347 00:12:34,226 --> 00:12:36,028 WE SHOULD STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT. 348 00:12:36,028 --> 00:12:37,690 BUT WHAT DO WE DO? 349 00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:39,962 HOW DO WE WORK THIS? I NEED TO SHAVE MY LEGS. 350 00:12:39,962 --> 00:12:41,964 HEY. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? 351 00:12:41,964 --> 00:12:44,237 WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SEX. 352 00:12:44,237 --> 00:12:45,738 HOW LONG WERE WE ASLEEP? 353 00:12:45,738 --> 00:12:48,241 BOO AND I MADE SOME DECISIONS TONIGHT REGARDING OUR FUTURE, 354 00:12:48,241 --> 00:12:49,643 AND TOMORROW WE'LL START PUTTING A PLAN IN MOTION. 355 00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:51,504 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 356 00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,106 WE'LL START WITH RESEARCH. WHAT TIME CAN WE ALL MEET AT THE LIBRARY? 357 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,048 ALL? YOU'RE THE HORNDOGS. 358 00:12:55,048 --> 00:12:56,980 WE'VE GOT POTENTIAL SPINSTER BUDDY COMEDY 359 00:12:56,980 --> 00:12:58,252 WRITTEN ALL OVER OUR FACES. 360 00:12:58,252 --> 00:12:59,713 THIS ISN'T ABOUT BOYFRIENDS. 361 00:12:59,713 --> 00:13:01,455 THIS IS ABOUT INFORMATION. 362 00:13:01,455 --> 00:13:03,117 WE ARE YOUNG WOMEN IN A FRANTIC TIME, 363 00:13:03,117 --> 00:13:04,358 AND WE GROW UP QUICKLY. 364 00:13:04,358 --> 00:13:05,990 WE NEED TO BE READY FOR ANYTHING. 365 00:13:05,990 --> 00:13:07,291 IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS. 366 00:13:07,291 --> 00:13:09,263 I'M AN INTELLIGENT WOMAN AND I WILL NOT 367 00:13:09,263 --> 00:13:10,595 HAVE IGNORANT FRIENDS. 368 00:13:10,595 --> 00:13:12,266 10:00. I'LL BRING MUFFINS. 369 00:13:17,702 --> 00:13:20,575 ♪ A SMILE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL ♪ 370 00:13:20,575 --> 00:13:23,578 ♪ A RIBBON IS SOMETHING RARE ♪ 371 00:13:23,578 --> 00:13:26,241 ♪ SO I'LL BE SPECIAL AND I'LL BE RARE ♪ 372 00:13:26,241 --> 00:13:27,583 ♪ WITH A SMILE ♪ 373 00:13:27,583 --> 00:13:29,715 ♪ AND A RIBBON IN MY HAIR ♪ 374 00:13:32,248 --> 00:13:34,720 ♪ TO BE A GIRL THEY NOTICE ♪ 375 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,593 ♪ TAKES MORE THAN A FANCY DRESS ♪ 376 00:13:37,593 --> 00:13:39,255 ♪ SO I'LL BE NOTICED ♪ 377 00:13:39,255 --> 00:13:40,596 ♪ BECAUSE I'LL DRESS ♪ 378 00:13:40,596 --> 00:13:41,798 ♪ WITH A SMILE ♪ 379 00:13:41,798 --> 00:13:44,731 ♪ AND A RIBBON IN MY TRESSES ♪ 380 00:13:46,603 --> 00:13:49,065 ♪ THE BIGGER MY TOOTHY GRIN IS ♪ 381 00:13:49,065 --> 00:13:51,738 ♪ THE SMALLER MY TROUBLES GROW ♪ 382 00:13:51,738 --> 00:13:55,072 ♪ THE LOUDER I SAY I'M HAPPY ♪ 383 00:13:55,072 --> 00:13:57,274 ♪ THE MORE I BELIEVE IT'S SO ♪ 384 00:13:57,274 --> 00:14:00,247 ♪ SO I'LL HAVE THAT EXTRA SOMETHING ♪ 385 00:14:00,247 --> 00:14:03,250 ♪ 'CAUSE I'LL KNOW WHAT TO WEAR ♪ 386 00:14:03,250 --> 00:14:06,354 ♪ SO I'LL BE SPECIAL AND I'LL BE RARE ♪ 387 00:14:06,354 --> 00:14:09,257 ♪ I'LL BE SOMETHING BEYOND COMPARE ♪ 388 00:14:09,257 --> 00:14:10,588 ♪ I'LL BE NOTICED ♪ 389 00:14:10,588 --> 00:14:12,730 ♪ BECAUSE I'LL WEAR A SMILE ♪ 390 00:14:12,730 --> 00:14:15,734 ♪ AND A RIBBON IN MY HAIR ♪ 391 00:14:17,596 --> 00:14:20,399 ♪ THE BIGGER MY TOOTHY GRIN IS ♪ 392 00:14:20,399 --> 00:14:23,272 ♪ THE SMALLER MY TROUBLES GROW ♪ 393 00:14:23,272 --> 00:14:25,744 ♪ THE LOUDER I SAY I'M HAPPY ♪ 394 00:14:25,744 --> 00:14:28,607 ♪ THE MORE I BELIEVE IT'S SO ♪ 395 00:14:28,607 --> 00:14:31,610 ♪ SO I'LL HAVE THAT EXTRA SOMETHING ♪ 396 00:14:31,610 --> 00:14:34,614 ♪ 'CAUSE I'LL KNOW WHAT TO WEAR ♪ 397 00:14:34,614 --> 00:14:37,617 ♪ SO I'LL BE SPECIAL AND I'LL BE RARE ♪ 398 00:14:37,617 --> 00:14:40,590 ♪ I'LL BE SOMETHING BEYOND COMPARE ♪ 399 00:14:40,590 --> 00:14:41,861 ♪ I'LL BE NOTICED ♪ 400 00:14:41,861 --> 00:14:44,264 ♪ BECAUSE I'LL WEAR A SMILE ♪ 401 00:14:44,264 --> 00:14:49,800 ♪ AND A RIBBON IN MY HAIR. ♪ 402 00:14:55,275 --> 00:14:56,537 OH, MILLY. 403 00:14:56,537 --> 00:14:57,878 IT COULD NOT BE HELPED. 404 00:14:57,878 --> 00:15:00,611 I NEED THAT AMPHITHEATER DONE FOR THE FALL RECITAL. 405 00:15:00,611 --> 00:15:01,882 WELL, I'M SORRY. 406 00:15:01,882 --> 00:15:03,815 BEN WAS TOO STUPID TO LIVE. 407 00:15:03,815 --> 00:15:05,616 WHEN I FIND MYSELF ACTING OUT SIMPLE COMMANDS 408 00:15:05,616 --> 00:15:06,888 LIKE "YOU PUT BIG THING THERE," 409 00:15:06,888 --> 00:15:08,289 THEY HAVE TO GO. 410 00:15:08,289 --> 00:15:09,751 I'LL FIND ANOTHER CONCRETE GUY. 411 00:15:09,751 --> 00:15:11,753 - FINE. - THIS IS WHY THEY HAD PLAGUES, YOU KNOW. 412 00:15:11,753 --> 00:15:13,495 TO KILL DUMB GUYS LIKE BEN. 413 00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:14,756 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO, MILLY? 414 00:15:14,756 --> 00:15:16,498 YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT. 415 00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:17,699 LIKE WHAT? 416 00:15:17,699 --> 00:15:19,161 WHAT DO YOU MEAN "LIKE WHAT?" SHE'S YOUR SISTER. 417 00:15:19,161 --> 00:15:20,833 - SHE'S A WRECK. - WHY? 418 00:15:20,833 --> 00:15:23,265 SHE'S DEVASTATED ABOUT SPARKLES GOING DOWN. 419 00:15:23,265 --> 00:15:25,267 OH, WELL I'M NOT SURE WHAT I CAN DO ABOUT THAT. 420 00:15:25,267 --> 00:15:26,739 REALLY? 421 00:15:26,739 --> 00:15:28,340 WELL, LET'S THINK ABOUT THAT. 422 00:15:28,340 --> 00:15:29,812 WHAT COULD YOU DO? 423 00:15:29,812 --> 00:15:32,615 WHAT COULD YOU DO TO HELP YOUR SISTER, 424 00:15:32,615 --> 00:15:33,876 WHO USED TO HAVE A BUSINESS 425 00:15:33,876 --> 00:15:35,748 AND NOW DOESN'T HAVE A BUSINESS 426 00:15:35,748 --> 00:15:37,550 AND IS SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF MY BUSINESS 427 00:15:37,550 --> 00:15:39,682 - DOING THAT? - BOY, THAT'S REALLY UPSETTING. 428 00:15:39,682 --> 00:15:41,154 Fanny: SHE MISSES SPARKLES. 429 00:15:41,154 --> 00:15:42,185 Milly: SO SHE NEEDS WORK. 430 00:15:42,185 --> 00:15:43,887 - WELL... - I TRIED THAT ONCE. 431 00:15:43,887 --> 00:15:45,889 I GOT HER A JOB ON AN ASSEMBLY LINE. 432 00:15:45,889 --> 00:15:47,431 TOTAL DISASTER. 433 00:15:47,431 --> 00:15:49,433 I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT AN ASSEMBLY LINE. 434 00:15:49,433 --> 00:15:51,165 ALL SHE HAD TO DO WAS SCREW ON A NUT. 435 00:15:51,165 --> 00:15:53,797 I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT AN ASSEMBLY LINE, MILLY. 436 00:15:53,797 --> 00:15:55,800 Milly: SHE'S USELESS ON A LOADING DOCK TOO, FYI. 437 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,242 WELL, MAYBE IF YOU THINK REAL HARD 438 00:15:58,242 --> 00:15:59,644 YOU'LL COME UP WITH SOMETHING. 439 00:15:59,644 --> 00:16:01,446 I WONDER HOW SHE'D BE AT POURING CONCRETE. 440 00:16:01,446 --> 00:16:02,577 HEY, SORRY. 441 00:16:02,577 --> 00:16:03,878 I DIDN'T KNOW THE PLACE WAS PACKED. 442 00:16:03,878 --> 00:16:05,209 WHAT DO YOU NEED? 443 00:16:05,209 --> 00:16:06,411 OH, NOTHING. 444 00:16:06,411 --> 00:16:08,483 YOU'RE DRESSED IN DANCE CLOTHES. 445 00:16:08,483 --> 00:16:09,614 YEAH, I AM. 446 00:16:09,614 --> 00:16:10,815 I WAS FEELING A LITTLE BLOATY 447 00:16:10,815 --> 00:16:12,417 SO I THOUGHT I'D SPIN AROUND A LITTLE. 448 00:16:12,417 --> 00:16:14,359 SEE IF I COULD FLING IT OFF 449 00:16:14,359 --> 00:16:15,621 OR SOMETHING. 450 00:16:15,621 --> 00:16:17,292 CHARMING. I'M DONE. 451 00:16:17,292 --> 00:16:19,765 LET'S GO, LADIES. MICHELLE NEEDS THE STUDIO. 452 00:16:19,765 --> 00:16:20,896 IT'S ALL YOURS. 453 00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:22,768 TRY AND FLING IT AWAY FROM THE MIRROR 454 00:16:22,768 --> 00:16:23,769 IF POSSIBLE. 455 00:16:23,769 --> 00:16:24,770 WILL DO. 456 00:16:27,833 --> 00:16:29,375 THE TUTUS HATE ME. 457 00:16:29,375 --> 00:16:30,907 THEY DON'T HATE YOU. 458 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:31,908 Truly: THEY KNOW I FAILED. 459 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,810 ( chatter continues ) 460 00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:47,424 ( sighs ) 461 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:54,502 OKAY. 462 00:16:54,502 --> 00:16:55,833 OKAY. 463 00:16:55,833 --> 00:16:57,835 ( door opens ) 464 00:16:57,835 --> 00:16:59,507 AHA! I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU. 465 00:16:59,507 --> 00:17:00,768 DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE? 466 00:17:00,768 --> 00:17:02,510 ACTUALLY, I'M HEADING OVER TO FANNY'S. 467 00:17:02,510 --> 00:17:04,642 OKAY, THEN I'D LIKE TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT. 468 00:17:04,642 --> 00:17:06,845 - HOW'S SUNDAY? - APPOINTMENT TO--? 469 00:17:06,845 --> 00:17:09,017 TALK. ABOUT SEX. 470 00:17:10,519 --> 00:17:12,651 ON A SUNDAY? IS THAT LEGAL? 471 00:17:12,651 --> 00:17:14,253 I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN SEX EXACTLY 472 00:17:14,253 --> 00:17:15,524 LIKE "SEX" SEX. 473 00:17:15,524 --> 00:17:16,525 OH, GOOD. 474 00:17:16,525 --> 00:17:17,726 - I KNOW ABOUT SEX. - GREAT. 475 00:17:17,726 --> 00:17:19,528 IT'S MORE LIKE THE MECHANICS OF SEX. 476 00:17:19,528 --> 00:17:21,260 YOU KNOW, NOT WHAT GOES WHERE. 477 00:17:21,260 --> 00:17:23,262 I'M UP ON THAT. PENIS, VAGINA, BLAH BLAH BLAH. 478 00:17:23,262 --> 00:17:24,393 BORING. 479 00:17:24,393 --> 00:17:25,595 I JUST HAVE QUESTIONS, YOU KNOW? 480 00:17:25,595 --> 00:17:26,866 THINGS TO TALK THROUGH. 481 00:17:26,866 --> 00:17:28,438 ( sighs ) 482 00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:31,371 BOY, THERE ARE A LOT OF BALLS HANGING FROM THIS CEILING. 483 00:17:31,371 --> 00:17:33,603 SEE, I ALWAYS WANTED A DOG 484 00:17:33,603 --> 00:17:34,774 FROM THE TIME I WAS FIVE. 485 00:17:34,774 --> 00:17:36,446 BUT I DECIDED, "IF I'M GONNA OWN A DOG, 486 00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:37,507 I'M GONNA DO IT PROPERLY." 487 00:17:37,507 --> 00:17:38,578 SO I BOUGHT A LOT OF BOOKS, 488 00:17:38,578 --> 00:17:40,510 AND I WENT TO SHELTERS AND DOG PARKS 489 00:17:40,510 --> 00:17:42,512 AND I BOUGHT MORE BOOKS, AND I READ ALL THE BOOKS, 490 00:17:42,512 --> 00:17:44,555 AND I DOG SAT, AND I MADE LISTS OF NAMES-- 491 00:17:44,555 --> 00:17:45,886 AND YOU NEVER GOT A DOG, DID YOU? 492 00:17:45,886 --> 00:17:48,619 NO. BECAUSE I OVER- INTELLECTUALIZE, YOU KNOW? 493 00:17:48,619 --> 00:17:49,860 NO. NO, I DON'T. 494 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,522 I CAN'T BE ALONE WITH LISTS ANYMORE. 495 00:17:51,522 --> 00:17:52,994 I NEED INTERACTION. DEBATE. 496 00:17:52,994 --> 00:17:55,326 SO HOW'S SUNDAY, 4:00? 497 00:17:55,326 --> 00:17:56,868 OH, WELL I DON'T HAVE MY... 498 00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:59,000 THING WITH THE DAY NUMBERS ON IT. 499 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,802 4:30? 5:00? 500 00:18:00,802 --> 00:18:03,605 SURE. 5:00. PENCIL ME IN. 501 00:18:03,605 --> 00:18:05,737 - THANKS, MICHELLE. - YEAH, SO... 502 00:18:05,737 --> 00:18:07,409 - MONDAY AT 4:00. - SUNDAY AT 5:00. 503 00:18:07,409 --> 00:18:08,480 EVEN BETTER. 504 00:18:09,941 --> 00:18:11,513 ( groans ) STUPID MULCH. 505 00:18:11,513 --> 00:18:14,386 HEY, I THINK THE PLANTS GO INSIDE THE POTS. 506 00:18:14,386 --> 00:18:15,988 YEAH, HOW HELPFUL. THANKS FOR STOPPING BY. 507 00:18:15,988 --> 00:18:17,850 Scotty: HELP ME OUT OVER HERE. 508 00:18:19,392 --> 00:18:21,053 SCOTTY IS ALSO GREAT AT DRYWALL 509 00:18:21,053 --> 00:18:23,526 AND ANYTHING INVOLVING HOT TAR, FYI. 510 00:18:23,526 --> 00:18:25,398 I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND. 511 00:18:25,398 --> 00:18:26,859 OOH, GONNA BE A DJ? 512 00:18:26,859 --> 00:18:29,002 I HAVE THE CHOREOGRAPHY FOR THE RECITAL 513 00:18:29,002 --> 00:18:30,463 ALL WORKED OUT IN MY HEAD, 514 00:18:30,463 --> 00:18:31,534 BUT I CAN'T FIND THE RIGHT MUSIC. 515 00:18:31,534 --> 00:18:33,867 I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS. 516 00:18:33,867 --> 00:18:35,539 LISTEN, I NEED SATURDAY OFF. 517 00:18:35,539 --> 00:18:36,810 WHY? 518 00:18:36,810 --> 00:18:38,842 I'M A MULE FOR THE CARTEL. SATURDAY'S MY SHIFT. 519 00:18:38,842 --> 00:18:40,073 ANYTHING WRONG? 520 00:18:40,073 --> 00:18:41,074 NO. I JUST NEED THE DAY OFF. 521 00:18:41,074 --> 00:18:42,546 OKAY. 522 00:18:42,546 --> 00:18:43,877 THANKS. 523 00:18:43,877 --> 00:18:45,419 IT'S NOT GONNA BE A REGULAR THING. 524 00:18:48,422 --> 00:18:50,554 - HEY, FANNY? - HMM? 525 00:18:50,554 --> 00:18:53,658 WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN THE GIRLS ASK YOU ABOUT SEX? 526 00:18:53,658 --> 00:18:55,660 THEY NEVER ASK ME ABOUT SEX. 527 00:18:55,660 --> 00:18:57,432 - OH. - WHY? 528 00:18:57,432 --> 00:18:59,394 - NO REASON. - DID THEY ASK YOU ABOUT SEX? 529 00:18:59,394 --> 00:19:00,535 JUST MAKING CONVERSATION. 530 00:19:00,535 --> 00:19:02,737 JUST MAKING CONVERSATION? 531 00:19:02,737 --> 00:19:04,800 "WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN THE GIRLS ASK YOU ABOUT SEX?" 532 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,401 THAT'S JUST MAKING CONVERSATION? 533 00:19:06,401 --> 00:19:08,403 - YES. - "HOW'S THE WEATHER?" 534 00:19:08,403 --> 00:19:09,805 THAT'S JUST MAKING CONVERSATION. 535 00:19:09,805 --> 00:19:11,877 - FINE. - "WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TASTE OF TOMATOES?" 536 00:19:11,877 --> 00:19:13,609 THAT'S JUST MAKING CONVERSATION. 537 00:19:13,609 --> 00:19:15,411 - SORRY I BROUGHT IT UP. - SOMEONE ASKED YOU ABOUT SEX. 538 00:19:15,411 --> 00:19:17,713 - WHO WAS IT? - NO ONE. I WAS JUST TALKING HYPOTHETICALLY. 539 00:19:17,713 --> 00:19:19,585 MICHELLE, TELL ME WHO IT WAS. 540 00:19:19,585 --> 00:19:21,818 NO ONE, I SWEAR. I WAS JUST WATCHING A MORNING SHOW 541 00:19:21,818 --> 00:19:22,889 AND THERE WAS A DOCTOR ON 542 00:19:22,889 --> 00:19:24,420 TALKING ABOUT GIRLS AND SEX. 543 00:19:24,420 --> 00:19:25,461 WHAT SHOW? 544 00:19:25,461 --> 00:19:27,093 YOU KNOW, THE SHOW WITH THE DOCTOR 545 00:19:27,093 --> 00:19:28,725 WHO WAS TALKING ABOUT GIRLS AND SEX. 546 00:19:28,725 --> 00:19:30,527 I LOVE THAT SHOW. 547 00:19:30,527 --> 00:19:31,728 ANYHOW, I JUST THOUGHT I SHOULD BE READY 548 00:19:31,728 --> 00:19:33,570 JUST IN CASE ONE DAY SOME GIRL CAME UP TO ME 549 00:19:33,570 --> 00:19:34,601 AND ASKED ME ABOUT SEX. 550 00:19:34,601 --> 00:19:36,133 SO, OKAY. THEY HAVEN'T ASKED YOU. 551 00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,575 AND IF THEY HAVEN'T ASKED YOU, THEY PROBABLY DON'T CARE. 552 00:19:38,575 --> 00:19:39,777 WHICH IS GOOD. 553 00:19:39,777 --> 00:19:41,679 WOW. LOOK AT THE TIME. 554 00:19:41,679 --> 00:19:43,541 I GOTTA GO. GOOD LUCK WITH THE MUSIC SEARCH. 555 00:19:43,541 --> 00:19:44,542 THANKS FOR SATURDAY. 556 00:19:47,545 --> 00:19:48,886 ( door closes ) 557 00:19:50,548 --> 00:19:51,889 WAITING FOR A CALL? 558 00:19:51,889 --> 00:19:53,421 - NO. - VERY BELIEVABLE. 559 00:19:53,421 --> 00:19:54,893 HEY, ANYBODY ELSE GET THIS? 560 00:19:54,893 --> 00:19:56,554 - WHAT? - MICHELLE'S NOT TEACHING TODAY. 561 00:19:56,554 --> 00:19:57,756 I GOT THE SAME TEXT. SHE'S SICK. 562 00:19:57,756 --> 00:19:58,797 SO WHO'S TEACHING? FANNY? 563 00:19:58,797 --> 00:20:00,559 ( crying ) 564 00:20:00,559 --> 00:20:01,760 All: JORDAN. 565 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,101 - PASS. - MY HOUSE? 566 00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:04,633 - STOP FOR TACOS? - I'LL MAKE ZITI. 567 00:20:04,633 --> 00:20:06,635 HEY. I THOUGHT SHE WAS SICK. 568 00:20:06,635 --> 00:20:08,167 SHE DOESN'T LOOK SICK. 569 00:20:08,167 --> 00:20:10,439 Melanie: SHE'S GOT A LOT OF STUFF IN THAT BAG OF HERS. 570 00:20:10,439 --> 00:20:11,610 Ginny: SHE'S NOT TAKING OFF AGAIN, IS SHE? 571 00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:12,912 NO, NOT AGAIN. 572 00:20:17,877 --> 00:20:19,549 I THINK. 573 00:20:19,549 --> 00:20:20,920 ( engine starting ) 574 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:40,871 COME ON. 575 00:20:40,871 --> 00:20:42,573 - WHERE ARE WE GOING? - THELMA, LOUISE, LOUISE, 576 00:20:42,573 --> 00:20:44,245 IT'S TIME FOR A ROAD TRIP. 577 00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:11,704 SORRY. EXCUSE ME. 578 00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:12,775 UNION? NON-UNION? 579 00:21:12,775 --> 00:21:13,776 UNION. 580 00:21:13,776 --> 00:21:14,777 EQUITY CARD. 581 00:21:14,777 --> 00:21:15,978 YES. 582 00:21:15,978 --> 00:21:17,110 I ALMOST FORGOT IT. 583 00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:18,241 THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN TRAGIC. 584 00:21:18,241 --> 00:21:19,712 FOR ME. YOU I ASSUME 585 00:21:19,712 --> 00:21:20,844 COULD WITHSTAND SUCH A BLOW. 586 00:21:20,844 --> 00:21:22,115 BREAK A LEG. 587 00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:23,186 IF ANYONE CAN. 588 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,651 UNION? NON-UNION? 589 00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:30,253 SORRY. EXCUSE ME. 590 00:21:30,253 --> 00:21:31,655 PARDON ME. 591 00:21:31,655 --> 00:21:32,796 SORRY. EXCUSE ME. 592 00:21:32,796 --> 00:21:33,997 COMING THROUGH. BEEP BEEP. 593 00:21:33,997 --> 00:21:35,259 EXCUSE ME. THANK YOU. 594 00:21:36,860 --> 00:21:38,632 ( quietly ) EXCUSE ME. 595 00:21:39,804 --> 00:21:41,235 EXCUSE ME. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 596 00:21:41,235 --> 00:21:42,767 SORRY. SORRY SORRY SORRY. 597 00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:44,639 SORRY. SORRY. EXCUSE ME. 598 00:21:44,639 --> 00:21:46,110 COMING THROUGH. THANK YOU. 599 00:21:47,772 --> 00:21:49,113 GOD. OKAY. 600 00:21:49,113 --> 00:21:50,645 WOW. 601 00:21:50,645 --> 00:21:52,117 HERE WE GO. 602 00:21:52,117 --> 00:21:54,649 AY YI YI. 603 00:21:54,649 --> 00:21:56,651 ALL RIGHT. 604 00:21:56,651 --> 00:21:58,123 ( sighs ) 605 00:22:04,660 --> 00:22:06,131 ( blows raspberry ) 606 00:22:19,946 --> 00:22:22,649 OH, THANK GOD WE ARE FINALLY OUT OF THAT CAR. 607 00:22:22,649 --> 00:22:24,311 IF WE'RE GONNA TRAIL SOMEONE ALL THE WAY TO L.A. AGAIN, 608 00:22:24,311 --> 00:22:25,852 YOU HAVE GOT TO GET A BETTER SOUND SYSTEM. 609 00:22:25,852 --> 00:22:27,654 LOOK AROUND. SHE PULLED INTO THE PARKING LOT. 610 00:22:27,654 --> 00:22:28,916 - WHERE ARE WE? - CHURCH? 611 00:22:28,916 --> 00:22:30,087 WE'RE AT CHURCH? 612 00:22:30,087 --> 00:22:31,859 WE DROVE AN HOUR AND A HALF TO GO TO CHURCH?! 613 00:22:31,859 --> 00:22:33,661 MY GRANDMOTHER'S GONNA HAVE A STROKE. 614 00:22:33,661 --> 00:22:34,862 MAYBE WE'RE IN THE WRONG PLACE. 615 00:22:34,862 --> 00:22:36,323 I CAN'T IMAGINE MICHELLE BEING-- 616 00:22:46,004 --> 00:22:47,675 WOW. SO CLOSE. 617 00:22:47,675 --> 00:22:48,937 WAIT, ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE HIDING? 618 00:22:48,937 --> 00:22:50,008 I'M UNCLEAR ON THE AGENDA. 619 00:22:50,008 --> 00:22:51,139 THE AGENDA'S STILL EVOLVING. 620 00:22:51,139 --> 00:22:52,340 SHOULDN'T WE GO SAY HI? 621 00:22:52,340 --> 00:22:53,812 - WHY? - DIDN'T WE COME TO SAY HI? 622 00:22:53,812 --> 00:22:55,013 - NO. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 623 00:22:55,013 --> 00:22:56,815 USING MY POWERS FOR GOOD INSTEAD OF EVIL. 624 00:22:56,815 --> 00:22:57,816 WHAT'S THE NAME OF THIS PLACE? 625 00:22:57,816 --> 00:22:59,818 HOLLYWOOD UNITED METHODIST CHURCH. 626 00:22:59,818 --> 00:23:00,949 I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. 627 00:23:00,949 --> 00:23:01,951 YOU'LL BE HOME BEFORE DARK. 628 00:23:01,951 --> 00:23:03,152 NO, I MEAN I'M LUTHERAN. 629 00:23:03,152 --> 00:23:04,653 I GOT IT. 630 00:23:04,653 --> 00:23:06,395 - IT'S AN AUDITION. - FOR WHAT, "SISTER ACT"? 631 00:23:06,395 --> 00:23:08,998 IT'S "FOR AN OPEN CALL FOR DANCERS WHO SING 632 00:23:08,998 --> 00:23:11,661 FOR A NEW BROADWAY MUSICAL BASED ON THE MOVIE 'DARK VICTORY.'" 633 00:23:11,661 --> 00:23:12,862 - DARK WHAT? - ON IT. 634 00:23:12,862 --> 00:23:13,803 SHE'S GOING TO MOVE BACK TO NEW YORK. 635 00:23:13,803 --> 00:23:15,004 SHE DOESN'T HAVE THE JOB YET. 636 00:23:15,004 --> 00:23:17,137 "'DARK VICTORY.' THE 1939 AMERICAN FILM 637 00:23:17,137 --> 00:23:18,668 DIRECTED BY EDMUND GOULDING, 638 00:23:18,668 --> 00:23:19,970 STARRING BETTE DAVIS, GEORGE BRENT, 639 00:23:19,970 --> 00:23:21,141 GERALDINE FITZGERALD, AND RONALD REAGAN." 640 00:23:21,141 --> 00:23:22,813 SOUNDS LIKE A BARN BURNER. 641 00:23:22,813 --> 00:23:24,014 "BETTE DAVIS IS A HEDONISTIC 642 00:23:24,014 --> 00:23:25,676 LONG ISLAND HEIRESS WITH A PASSION FOR 643 00:23:25,676 --> 00:23:27,417 HORSES, FAST CARS, AND TOO MUCH SMOKING AND DRINKING." 644 00:23:27,417 --> 00:23:29,249 THAT SOUNDS PERFECT FOR MICHELLE. 645 00:23:29,249 --> 00:23:31,081 "ONE DAY, SHE FALLS OFF HER HORSE AND ENDS UP WITH A BRAIN TUMOR." 646 00:23:31,081 --> 00:23:32,823 THAT'S YOUR 11:00 NUMBER RIGHT THERE. 647 00:23:32,823 --> 00:23:34,125 "SHE FALLS IN LOVE WITH HER DOCTOR, 648 00:23:34,125 --> 00:23:35,226 HE DOESN'T TELL HER SHE'S DYING, 649 00:23:35,226 --> 00:23:37,158 SHE GOES BLIND, AND SCENE." 650 00:23:37,158 --> 00:23:39,090 I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S AUDITIONING AGAIN. 651 00:23:39,090 --> 00:23:40,161 SO WE SHOULD GO WISH HER LUCK, RIGHT? 652 00:23:40,161 --> 00:23:41,362 - SURE. WHAT? - WAIT. 653 00:23:41,362 --> 00:23:42,694 MAYBE THAT WOULD BE BAD. 654 00:23:42,694 --> 00:23:43,895 LIKE BAD LUCK. WE'D JINX HER. 655 00:23:43,895 --> 00:23:45,296 I DON'T BELIEVE IN JINXES. 656 00:23:45,296 --> 00:23:46,738 MAYBE MELANIE'S RIGHT. I DON'T WANT TO BE 657 00:23:46,738 --> 00:23:48,139 THE REASON SHE DOESN'T GET THE JOB. 658 00:23:48,139 --> 00:23:49,801 SO ARE WE WISHING HER LUCK OR NOT? 659 00:23:49,801 --> 00:23:51,873 I DON'T KNOW. I SO RARELY AGREE WITH BOO. 660 00:23:51,873 --> 00:23:52,844 I'M A LITTLE THROWN HERE. 661 00:23:52,844 --> 00:23:54,076 WISH HER LUCK, DON'T WISH HER LUCK, 662 00:23:54,076 --> 00:23:55,247 I DON'T CARE. 663 00:23:55,247 --> 00:23:56,879 I WANT TO GET A BETTER LOOK AT THIS FREAK SHOW. 664 00:24:14,397 --> 00:24:17,370 ♪ THEY SAY THE NEON LIGHTS ARE BRIGHT ♪ 665 00:24:17,370 --> 00:24:19,903 ♪ ON BROADWAY ♪ 666 00:24:22,276 --> 00:24:24,037 ♪ THEY SAY THERE'S ALWAYS ♪ 667 00:24:24,037 --> 00:24:27,881 ♪ MAGIC IN THE AIR ♪ 668 00:24:30,314 --> 00:24:34,418 ♪ BUT WHEN YOU'RE WALKING DOWN THAT STREET ♪ 669 00:24:34,418 --> 00:24:38,723 ♪ AND YOU AIN'T HAD ENOUGH TO EAT ♪ 670 00:24:38,723 --> 00:24:40,094 ♪ THE GLITTER RUBS RIGHT OFF ♪ 671 00:24:40,094 --> 00:24:44,930 ♪ AND YOU'RE NOWHERE ♪ 672 00:24:47,963 --> 00:24:52,307 ♪ OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH ♪ 673 00:24:54,770 --> 00:24:56,171 ♪ THEY SAY THE WOMEN TREAT YOU FINE ♪ 674 00:24:56,171 --> 00:25:00,876 - HOLY MOLY. - ♪ ON BROADWAY ♪ 675 00:25:02,919 --> 00:25:04,350 ♪ BUT LOOKING AT THEM ♪ 676 00:25:04,350 --> 00:25:08,524 ♪ JUST GIVES ME THE BLUES... ♪ 677 00:25:08,524 --> 00:25:10,827 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 678 00:25:10,827 --> 00:25:12,489 THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING OUT TODAY. 679 00:25:12,489 --> 00:25:15,162 AT LEAST THE WEATHER'S BEAUTIFUL AND YOU COULD GET A TAN. 680 00:25:15,162 --> 00:25:16,833 ( laughing ) 681 00:25:16,833 --> 00:25:19,166 WE ARE LOOKING FOR VERY SPECIFIC TYPES 682 00:25:19,166 --> 00:25:20,297 FOR OUR CHORUS, 683 00:25:20,297 --> 00:25:22,169 SO I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE 684 00:25:22,169 --> 00:25:24,501 IF THIS HAS BEEN A WASTE OF TIME. 685 00:25:24,501 --> 00:25:26,504 Dance Captain: OKAY, FORM YOUR LINES, PLEASE. 686 00:25:30,177 --> 00:25:31,849 NO. NO. 687 00:25:31,849 --> 00:25:33,181 NO. NO. 688 00:25:33,181 --> 00:25:34,852 NO. NO. 689 00:25:34,852 --> 00:25:36,514 NO. 690 00:25:36,514 --> 00:25:37,916 NO. 691 00:25:37,916 --> 00:25:39,187 NO. 692 00:25:39,187 --> 00:25:40,859 NO. 693 00:25:40,859 --> 00:25:42,190 NO. 694 00:25:42,190 --> 00:25:43,822 NO. 695 00:25:43,822 --> 00:25:45,263 NO. 696 00:25:45,263 --> 00:25:47,195 NO. NO. 697 00:25:47,195 --> 00:25:48,527 NO. 698 00:25:48,527 --> 00:25:50,869 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 699 00:25:50,869 --> 00:25:51,870 NO. 700 00:25:51,870 --> 00:25:52,831 NO. 701 00:25:52,831 --> 00:25:54,503 NO. NO. NO. 702 00:25:54,503 --> 00:25:55,835 NO. 703 00:25:55,835 --> 00:25:57,506 NO. 704 00:25:57,506 --> 00:25:59,178 NO. NO. 705 00:25:59,178 --> 00:26:00,510 NO. 706 00:26:00,510 --> 00:26:01,841 NO. 707 00:26:01,841 --> 00:26:04,844 WAIT. 708 00:26:04,844 --> 00:26:06,846 NO. 709 00:26:06,846 --> 00:26:08,518 NO. NO. 710 00:26:08,518 --> 00:26:09,919 NO. 711 00:26:11,451 --> 00:26:12,923 OH DEAR. 712 00:26:12,923 --> 00:26:14,995 SUCK YOUR STOMACH IN FOR GOD'S SAKE. 713 00:26:18,529 --> 00:26:19,530 NO. 714 00:26:19,530 --> 00:26:20,531 NO. 715 00:26:20,531 --> 00:26:22,132 NO. 716 00:26:22,132 --> 00:26:23,864 - NO. - ( sighing ) 717 00:26:23,864 --> 00:26:26,037 10 YEARS OFF MY LIFE. 718 00:26:26,037 --> 00:26:28,539 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 719 00:26:28,539 --> 00:26:30,211 NO. NO. 720 00:26:30,211 --> 00:26:31,873 NO. NO. 721 00:26:31,873 --> 00:26:33,414 NO. NO. NO. 722 00:26:33,414 --> 00:26:34,846 NO. 723 00:26:34,846 --> 00:26:36,518 NO. NO. 724 00:26:36,518 --> 00:26:37,979 NO. 725 00:26:37,979 --> 00:26:39,451 NO. 726 00:26:39,451 --> 00:26:41,453 NO. 727 00:26:41,453 --> 00:26:42,954 ALL RIGHT. 728 00:26:42,954 --> 00:26:44,256 EVERYBODY LEFT ONTO THE FLOOR 729 00:26:44,256 --> 00:26:45,858 AND WE'LL SHOW YOU THE COMBINATION. 730 00:26:50,532 --> 00:26:52,535 AND YOU HAVE... 731 00:26:52,535 --> 00:26:54,537 WALK ONE, TWO... 732 00:26:57,900 --> 00:27:00,903 ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX... 733 00:27:00,903 --> 00:27:02,976 AND ONE... THREE. 734 00:27:02,976 --> 00:27:04,908 FIVE SIX SEVEN. 735 00:27:04,908 --> 00:27:07,050 ONE TWO THREE FOUR. 736 00:27:07,050 --> 00:27:09,052 SIX SEVEN EIGHT. 737 00:27:09,052 --> 00:27:10,584 ONE... THREE. 738 00:27:10,584 --> 00:27:12,386 FOUR. SIX. 739 00:27:12,386 --> 00:27:13,917 AND ONE. 740 00:27:13,917 --> 00:27:15,058 THREE. FOUR. 741 00:27:15,058 --> 00:27:17,020 FIVE SEVEN AND EIGHT. 742 00:27:17,020 --> 00:27:18,162 THAT DOESN'T LOOK SO BAD. 743 00:27:18,162 --> 00:27:19,563 YEAH, SHE CAN HANDLE THAT RIGHT? 744 00:27:19,563 --> 00:27:22,026 IT'S EASY. TOTALLY EASY. 745 00:27:22,026 --> 00:27:23,367 BOO! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 746 00:27:23,367 --> 00:27:24,899 - OUT THERE. - TO DO WHAT? 747 00:27:24,899 --> 00:27:26,200 - AUDITION. - BOO, YOU CAN'T. 748 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,532 WHAT DO WE DO? 749 00:27:27,532 --> 00:27:28,903 COME ON. 750 00:27:34,039 --> 00:27:35,981 HEY, EXCUSE ME. 751 00:27:35,981 --> 00:27:37,382 WAS THE KICK ON FIVE OR SIX? 752 00:27:37,382 --> 00:27:39,044 - FIVE. - THANKS. 753 00:27:39,044 --> 00:27:40,916 - IT'S ON SIX. - OH. 754 00:27:40,916 --> 00:27:42,387 OH, THANKS. 755 00:27:42,387 --> 00:27:43,919 OKAY. ONCE UP TO TEMPO 756 00:27:43,919 --> 00:27:45,150 AND I'LL BREAK YOU INTO GROUPS. 757 00:27:47,122 --> 00:27:48,924 FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT. 758 00:27:48,924 --> 00:27:50,926 ( music playing ) 759 00:28:07,073 --> 00:28:08,375 OKAY, EVERYBODY. 760 00:28:08,375 --> 00:28:10,577 GRAB YOUR STUFF. GO BACK OUTSIDE. 761 00:28:10,577 --> 00:28:13,120 I WILL BRING YOU IN IN GROUPS OF 10. 762 00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:14,722 OKAY. 763 00:28:14,722 --> 00:28:16,053 GOOD LUCK, MOTHER TERESA. 764 00:28:16,053 --> 00:28:17,384 BLESS YOU, MY CHILD. 765 00:28:18,586 --> 00:28:19,657 THAT WAS FUN. 766 00:28:19,657 --> 00:28:21,529 YEAH. 767 00:28:21,529 --> 00:28:23,191 BOO! 768 00:28:23,191 --> 00:28:25,133 - WHERE ARE YOU GOING? - OUTSIDE. HE SAID. 769 00:28:25,133 --> 00:28:26,594 - THAT'S FOR THE DANCERS. - YEAH. 770 00:28:26,594 --> 00:28:28,066 - YOU CAN'T AUDITION. - WHY NOT? 771 00:28:28,066 --> 00:28:30,338 - ARE YOU CRAZY? - THIS IS MY CHANCE. 772 00:28:30,338 --> 00:28:32,200 - TO DO WHAT? - GET A JOB IN A BROADWAY SHOW. 773 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,743 - BOO'S GONE BYE-BYE. - COME ON. 774 00:28:34,743 --> 00:28:36,074 STOP. SASHA. NO. 775 00:28:36,074 --> 00:28:37,105 STOP! 776 00:28:37,105 --> 00:28:38,747 STOP, SASHA. LET GO. 777 00:28:38,747 --> 00:28:40,509 YOU CAN'T AUDITION. YOU'RE 17 YEARS OLD 778 00:28:40,509 --> 00:28:42,111 AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. 779 00:28:42,111 --> 00:28:43,512 - WELL, THAT'S HOW IT HAPPENS. - HOW WHAT HAPPENS? 780 00:28:43,512 --> 00:28:45,314 THAT'S HOW YOU GET FAMOUS. 781 00:28:45,314 --> 00:28:46,385 YOU'VE HEARD THE STORIES. 782 00:28:46,385 --> 00:28:47,656 SOMEONE SNEAKS INTO AN AUDITION 783 00:28:47,656 --> 00:28:48,988 AND GETS DISCOVERED. 784 00:28:48,988 --> 00:28:51,060 OR THEY'RE IN A PHARMACY OR A PIZZA PLACE. 785 00:28:51,060 --> 00:28:53,062 NATALIE PORTMAN WAS DISCOVERED IN A PIZZA PLACE, 786 00:28:53,062 --> 00:28:54,323 BUT I'M CUTTING DOWN ON CARBS. 787 00:28:54,323 --> 00:28:55,465 YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET DISCOVERED, BOO. 788 00:28:55,465 --> 00:28:57,166 YOU KNOW, SASHA, YOU'RE BOSSY. 789 00:28:57,166 --> 00:28:59,199 - OUCH. - AND YOU'VE BEEN BOSSY SINCE THE SECOND GRADE. 790 00:28:59,199 --> 00:29:00,530 AND I AM SICK OF IT. 791 00:29:00,530 --> 00:29:02,072 I CAN AUDITION IF I WANT TO. 792 00:29:02,072 --> 00:29:04,074 - FINE. - I DON'T NEED YOUR PERMISSION. 793 00:29:04,074 --> 00:29:05,205 - GREAT. - Ginny: GUYS. 794 00:29:05,205 --> 00:29:06,536 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GOING TO HAVE SEX 795 00:29:06,536 --> 00:29:08,138 A YEAR AND A HALF FROM NOW TWO DAYS BEFORE PROM 796 00:29:08,138 --> 00:29:09,540 JUST LIKE I HAD PLANNED. 797 00:29:09,540 --> 00:29:11,011 I THOUGHT IT WAS THE DAY BEFORE PROM. 798 00:29:11,011 --> 00:29:12,613 WELL, WE BUILT IN A LITTLE SLUSH TIME 799 00:29:12,613 --> 00:29:14,415 IN CASE IT'S AWFUL AND WE NEED TO TRY AGAIN 800 00:29:14,415 --> 00:29:17,388 SO WE DON'T GO TO PROM AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER WEIRD ALL NIGHT, OKAY? 801 00:29:17,388 --> 00:29:18,749 HEY, YOU'RE MISSING MICHELLE'S GROUP. 802 00:29:21,222 --> 00:29:23,224 ( music playing ) 803 00:29:35,067 --> 00:29:37,069 ALL RIGHT. 804 00:29:37,069 --> 00:29:38,340 Choreographer: HMM. 805 00:29:40,072 --> 00:29:41,744 YOU... 806 00:29:41,744 --> 00:29:43,215 AND YOU. 807 00:29:43,215 --> 00:29:45,147 STAY AND SING. 808 00:29:45,147 --> 00:29:46,819 THE REST OF YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 809 00:29:46,819 --> 00:29:48,251 I WILL NEED YOUR PICTURES AND RESUMES. 810 00:29:57,761 --> 00:29:59,262 STUPID BAG. 811 00:29:59,262 --> 00:30:00,493 STUPID AUDITION. 812 00:30:00,493 --> 00:30:03,166 FOUR HOURS MY ASS FOR THIS STUPID AUDITION. 813 00:30:12,076 --> 00:30:13,407 IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU. 814 00:30:23,087 --> 00:30:25,090 ( sighs ) 815 00:30:25,090 --> 00:30:26,161 YES. YEAH. 816 00:30:49,886 --> 00:30:51,417 REALLY? 817 00:30:51,417 --> 00:30:52,489 WHAT? BAD? 818 00:30:52,489 --> 00:30:53,690 FREAKING HATHAWAY. 819 00:30:53,690 --> 00:30:54,891 EVERYBODY'S DOING THIS NOW. 820 00:30:54,891 --> 00:30:56,293 IF I HEAR THIS ONE MORE TIME, 821 00:30:56,293 --> 00:30:58,155 I'M TAKING HOSTAGES. WHAT ELSE YOU GOT? 822 00:30:58,155 --> 00:30:59,426 UH... 823 00:30:59,426 --> 00:31:00,897 AH, PERFECT. SING THAT. 824 00:31:00,897 --> 00:31:02,900 THE SHOW'S ABOUT A BROAD DYING OF BRAIN CANCER. 825 00:31:02,900 --> 00:31:04,431 WE DON'T ALL HAVE TO GO DOWN WITH HER. 826 00:31:04,431 --> 00:31:05,903 - YOU START IN "F"? - HOW'D YOU KNOW? 827 00:31:05,903 --> 00:31:07,564 BECAUSE I'M A TERRIFIC PLUMBER. 828 00:31:07,564 --> 00:31:09,406 GO SING. 829 00:31:09,406 --> 00:31:11,268 ( quietly ) OKAY. 830 00:31:14,772 --> 00:31:16,614 HI. I'M MICHELLE SIMMS. 831 00:31:16,614 --> 00:31:18,446 NICE TO MEET YOU, MICHELLE. WHAT ARE YOU SINGING? 832 00:31:18,446 --> 00:31:19,847 "IF MY FRIENDS COULD SEE ME NOW." 833 00:31:19,847 --> 00:31:22,921 THANK GOD NO MORE "LES MIZ." 834 00:31:24,723 --> 00:31:25,924 ( piano playing ) 835 00:31:25,924 --> 00:31:27,385 ♪ IF THEY COULD SEE ME NOW ♪ 836 00:31:27,385 --> 00:31:29,428 ♪ THAT LITTLE GANG OF MINE ♪ 837 00:31:29,428 --> 00:31:30,759 ♪ I'M EATING FANCY CHOW ♪ 838 00:31:30,759 --> 00:31:32,361 ♪ AND DRINKING FANCY WINE ♪ 839 00:31:32,361 --> 00:31:33,892 ♪ I'D LIKE THOSE STUMBLE BUMBS ♪ 840 00:31:33,892 --> 00:31:35,634 ♪ TO SEE FOR A FACT ♪ 841 00:31:35,634 --> 00:31:36,896 SHE SOUNDS GOOD. 842 00:31:36,896 --> 00:31:39,168 ARE THE PRODUCERS SMILING? 843 00:31:39,168 --> 00:31:40,840 ♪ ALL I CAN SAY IS WHOA ♪ 844 00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:42,742 ♪ LOOK AND HERE I AM ♪ 845 00:31:42,742 --> 00:31:44,173 LOOK AT HER. 846 00:31:44,173 --> 00:31:45,775 ♪ RIGHT IN A PART OF JAIL ♪ 847 00:31:45,775 --> 00:31:48,778 ♪ WHAT A SETUP, HOLY COW ♪ 848 00:31:48,778 --> 00:31:50,180 ♪ THEY'D NEVER BELIEVE IT ♪ 849 00:31:50,180 --> 00:31:51,251 ♪ IF MY FRIENDS ♪ 850 00:31:51,251 --> 00:31:52,512 ♪ COULD SEE ♪ 851 00:31:52,512 --> 00:31:53,653 ♪ ME ♪ 852 00:31:53,653 --> 00:31:56,787 ♪ NOW ♪ 853 00:31:56,787 --> 00:31:57,918 ♪ THEY'D NEVER BELIEVE IT ♪ 854 00:31:57,918 --> 00:31:59,790 ♪ IF MY FRIENDS COULD SEE ME NOW. ♪ 855 00:31:59,790 --> 00:32:01,792 THANK YOU, MICHELLE. THAT WAS GREAT. 856 00:32:01,792 --> 00:32:02,823 THIS IS A GOOD TIME TO BREAK. 857 00:32:02,823 --> 00:32:03,924 10 MINUTES? 858 00:32:03,924 --> 00:32:04,925 EVERYBODY TINKLE. 859 00:32:23,445 --> 00:32:24,716 ARE YOU GONNA SMOKE? 860 00:32:24,716 --> 00:32:26,448 - NO. - OH. 861 00:32:26,448 --> 00:32:27,920 I JUST WANTED TO STAND NEXT TO SOMEBODY 862 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:29,521 WHO STILL SMOKES. 863 00:32:29,521 --> 00:32:31,924 - ( chuckles ) - YOU WERE TERRIFIC, BY THE WAY. 864 00:32:31,924 --> 00:32:33,656 - YEAH? - BEST I HEARD ALL DAY. 865 00:32:33,656 --> 00:32:34,797 I MEAN IT. 866 00:32:40,933 --> 00:32:43,005 APPARENTLY THE JEWS ARE LEAVING EGYPT AGAIN. 867 00:32:43,005 --> 00:32:44,267 WHO ARE THEY? 868 00:32:44,267 --> 00:32:45,468 THOSE ARE THE DANCERS. 869 00:32:45,468 --> 00:32:46,940 THE DANCERS? 870 00:32:46,940 --> 00:32:48,271 FOR THE SHOW. 871 00:32:48,271 --> 00:32:50,313 - FOR THIS SHOW? - YEP. 872 00:32:50,313 --> 00:32:52,646 - ( laughing ) - SO THE SPOTS WE JUST AUDITIONED FOR ARE-- 873 00:32:52,646 --> 00:32:54,878 GONE. WEEKS AGO. 874 00:32:54,878 --> 00:32:58,552 THIS CHOREOGRAPHER HIRES THE SAME GIRLS NO MATTER WHAT. 875 00:32:58,552 --> 00:33:00,024 THE UNIONS MAKE US HOLD THESE OPEN CALLS. 876 00:33:00,024 --> 00:33:01,926 SO ANNOYING. I HATE THESE THINGS. 877 00:33:01,926 --> 00:33:03,457 YOU HATE THESE THINGS. 878 00:33:03,457 --> 00:33:04,929 HEY, LISTEN. IF YOU'RE EVER IN NEW YORK 879 00:33:04,929 --> 00:33:06,931 I'M ALWAYS PUTTING TOGETHER SHOWCASES AND BENEFITS. 880 00:33:06,931 --> 00:33:08,933 I'D KILL TO HAVE A TRIPLE-THREAT LIKE YOU 881 00:33:08,933 --> 00:33:10,935 WHO CAN BELT A "C" IN THE MASK 882 00:33:10,935 --> 00:33:11,996 WITH VIBRATO. 883 00:33:11,996 --> 00:33:14,799 I'LL GIVE YOU MY CARD. 884 00:33:14,799 --> 00:33:16,801 IF I CAN FIND ONE. 885 00:33:16,801 --> 00:33:17,942 SETH, WE'RE BACK. 886 00:33:17,942 --> 00:33:19,474 OH, CRAP. I'LL FIND YOU. 887 00:33:19,474 --> 00:33:20,605 COMING. 888 00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:36,923 ( engine starting ) 889 00:33:45,802 --> 00:33:47,474 NEXT TIME, WE SAY HI. 890 00:33:56,043 --> 00:33:57,514 WHAT DID I DO NOW? 891 00:33:57,514 --> 00:33:58,716 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 892 00:33:58,716 --> 00:34:00,317 YOU SAID "COME OVER, IT'S IMPORTANT." 893 00:34:00,317 --> 00:34:01,589 MEANING I DID SOMETHING TO UPSET MOM 894 00:34:01,589 --> 00:34:02,790 AND YOU CALLED ME OVER HERE TO TELL ME WHAT, 895 00:34:02,790 --> 00:34:03,991 SO JUST TELL ME. 896 00:34:03,991 --> 00:34:05,052 NOTHING. THIS ISN'T ABOUT MOM. 897 00:34:05,052 --> 00:34:06,654 OH. 898 00:34:06,654 --> 00:34:07,995 THOUGH SHE DOES RESENT THE FACT THAT YOU NEVER 899 00:34:07,995 --> 00:34:09,927 PAID HER BACK FOR COLLEGE AND DIDN'T GRADUATE. 900 00:34:09,927 --> 00:34:11,059 HAVE A SEAT. 901 00:34:11,059 --> 00:34:13,061 I DON'T HAVE VERY LONG. 902 00:34:13,061 --> 00:34:14,733 I NEED TO GET BACK TO THE DANCE STUDIO. 903 00:34:14,733 --> 00:34:16,565 I'M GOING A SNAIL'S PACE ON THOSE COSTUMES 904 00:34:16,565 --> 00:34:18,036 AND I'M SURE FANNY'S SICK OF SEEING ME BY NOW. 905 00:34:18,036 --> 00:34:19,067 WHAT'S WITH THE PICTURES? 906 00:34:19,067 --> 00:34:21,370 THIS IS A RECENTLY VACATED BUILDING 907 00:34:21,370 --> 00:34:22,711 THAT I OWN. 908 00:34:22,711 --> 00:34:25,114 I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD REOPEN SPARKLES THERE. 909 00:34:25,114 --> 00:34:27,016 I CAN'T AFFORD IT. 910 00:34:27,016 --> 00:34:28,347 - HOW DO YOU KNOW? - I KNOW. 911 00:34:28,347 --> 00:34:29,478 I KNOW WHAT YOU CHARGE. 912 00:34:29,478 --> 00:34:30,920 WELL, I WOULD GIVE YOU A FAMILY DISCOUNT. 913 00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:33,082 - ( chuckles ) - THIS IS A BETTER FAMILY DISCOUNT. 914 00:34:33,082 --> 00:34:35,124 - HOW MUCH BETTER? - WELL, THE PREVIOUS TENANTS 915 00:34:35,124 --> 00:34:36,526 ARE PAID UP FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR, 916 00:34:36,526 --> 00:34:38,488 SO... FREE. 917 00:34:38,488 --> 00:34:39,989 COMPLETELY FREE? 918 00:34:39,989 --> 00:34:41,691 NO RENT. 919 00:34:41,691 --> 00:34:42,932 MY GOD, MILLY-- 920 00:34:42,932 --> 00:34:44,464 YOU DO KNOW WHAT FREE MEANS, RIGHT? 921 00:34:44,464 --> 00:34:46,136 - YES. - THAT MEANS I DON'T GIVE YOU MONEY. 922 00:34:46,136 --> 00:34:47,467 I KNOW WHAT FREE MEANS, TRULY. 923 00:34:47,467 --> 00:34:50,070 GIVE ME A BREAK. 924 00:34:50,070 --> 00:34:53,073 I'M SORRY ABOUT SPARKLES. 925 00:34:53,073 --> 00:34:54,845 ABOUT RUINING IT FOR YOU. 926 00:34:58,048 --> 00:34:59,850 LOOKS LIKE A NICE SPACE. 927 00:34:59,850 --> 00:35:02,053 IT HAS ASBESTOS IN THE BATHROOM. 928 00:35:02,053 --> 00:35:03,584 I'LL HAVE IT REMOVED. 929 00:35:03,584 --> 00:35:05,386 UNLESS YOU DON'T THINK YOU'LL NEED A BATHROOM. 930 00:35:05,386 --> 00:35:06,918 - THEN I GUESS-- - I'M GONNA NEED A BATHROOM. 931 00:35:06,918 --> 00:35:08,920 RIGHT. OF COURSE YOU WILL. 932 00:35:11,593 --> 00:35:13,395 WELL... 933 00:35:13,395 --> 00:35:15,066 WE SHOULD TOAST, RIGHT? 934 00:35:15,066 --> 00:35:16,398 CELEBRATE A NEW CHAPTER 935 00:35:16,398 --> 00:35:18,600 IN THE STONE SISTERS' SAGA? 936 00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:20,602 YES. YES WE SHOULD. 937 00:35:25,077 --> 00:35:27,409 I WOULD LIKE TWO SHOTS OF SOMETHING BLUE 938 00:35:27,409 --> 00:35:29,612 THAT WON'T MAKE ME THROW UP IMMEDIATELY. 939 00:35:29,612 --> 00:35:31,083 EXCUSE ME. 940 00:35:31,083 --> 00:35:33,015 I'M LOOKING FOR MILLICENT STONE. 941 00:35:33,015 --> 00:35:34,147 I'M MILLY STONE. 942 00:35:34,147 --> 00:35:36,789 I HAVE A PACKAGE FOR YOU FROM FANNY FLOWERS. 943 00:35:37,951 --> 00:35:39,753 WELL, THANK YOU. 944 00:35:39,753 --> 00:35:41,454 Scotty: SHE'S GOT ME DELIVERING PACKAGES NOW. 945 00:35:41,454 --> 00:35:42,926 I'M A MESSENGER BOY. 946 00:35:42,926 --> 00:35:44,458 THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW I'LL BE WEARING A UNIFORM. 947 00:35:44,458 --> 00:35:46,129 LITTLE HAT LIKE AN ORGAN GRINDER'S MONKEY. 948 00:35:46,129 --> 00:35:47,931 YOU'D LOOK GOOD IN A HAT. 949 00:35:47,931 --> 00:35:49,463 THAT'S WHAT MY LIFE'S BECOME. 950 00:35:49,463 --> 00:35:51,004 MICHELLE SHOULD HAVE WARNED ME, 951 00:35:51,004 --> 00:35:52,466 BUT SHE'S SADISTIC, MY SISTER. 952 00:35:52,466 --> 00:35:53,767 YOU'RE MICHELLE'S BROTHER? 953 00:35:53,767 --> 00:35:55,439 MICHELLE NEVER SAID SHE HAD A BROTHER. 954 00:35:55,439 --> 00:35:57,071 YEAH, SHE'S GOT A BROTHER, AND HE'S IN HELL. 955 00:35:57,071 --> 00:35:58,813 OKAY. HERE'S YOUR PACKAGE, 956 00:35:58,813 --> 00:36:01,075 AND SHE WANTS A SIGNATURE. 957 00:36:01,075 --> 00:36:03,077 THAT'S MY PHONE NUMBER. 958 00:36:03,077 --> 00:36:05,049 JUST IN CASE. 959 00:36:06,150 --> 00:36:07,081 THANK YOU. 960 00:36:12,157 --> 00:36:14,960 - GOD, HE'S CUTE. - SO CUTE. 961 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:16,792 - HE KIND OF LOOKS LIKE HER. - BUT CUTE. 962 00:36:16,792 --> 00:36:19,164 IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I THOUGHT ANYONE WAS CUTE. 963 00:36:19,164 --> 00:36:20,966 I KNOW, I COULD JUST... 964 00:36:26,602 --> 00:36:27,673 OH, CRAP. 965 00:36:29,205 --> 00:36:31,077 Michelle: FANNY, I'M BACK. 966 00:36:31,077 --> 00:36:33,149 - Fanny: SO I SEE. - I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WANTED ME TO SUB 967 00:36:33,149 --> 00:36:34,611 FOR YOU TONIGHT? YOU KNOW, IN EXCHANGE-- 968 00:36:34,611 --> 00:36:35,812 HOLY HELL. WHAT IS THAT? 969 00:36:35,812 --> 00:36:37,183 I DON'T HAVE TIME TO TALK TO YOU. 970 00:36:37,183 --> 00:36:39,155 THAT IS THE MOST REPULSIVE THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. 971 00:36:39,155 --> 00:36:41,818 HAS THE FALL RECITAL TAKEN A VERY DISTURBING THEMATIC TURN? 972 00:36:41,818 --> 00:36:43,490 GO HOME, MICHELLE. WE'LL TALK TOMORROW. 973 00:36:46,623 --> 00:36:47,965 WHAT THE--? 974 00:36:47,965 --> 00:36:49,126 MICHELLE, PLEASE LEAVE. 975 00:36:49,126 --> 00:36:51,098 WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU GET ALL THIS STUFF? 976 00:36:51,098 --> 00:36:53,030 MY FRIEND COLLEEN USED TO BE A MIDWIFE. 977 00:36:53,030 --> 00:36:54,101 - FOR THE BORGIAS? - WHAT? 978 00:36:54,101 --> 00:36:55,773 THIS STUFF IS ANCIENT. 979 00:36:55,773 --> 00:36:56,834 NOT ALL OF IT. 980 00:36:56,834 --> 00:36:58,236 THIS TELLS YOU HOW TO MAKE A CONDOM 981 00:36:58,236 --> 00:37:00,508 OUT OF A YAK'S STOMACH, AND BUILD AN ARK. 982 00:37:00,508 --> 00:37:01,980 I CAN'T EVEN-- WHERE'S HIS HEAD? 983 00:37:01,980 --> 00:37:04,042 - IN THE PELVIS. - OH, SWEET JESUS AND MARY CHAIN. 984 00:37:04,042 --> 00:37:06,214 - JUST GO AWAY. - I MAY NEVER CLOSE MY EYES AGAIN. 985 00:37:06,214 --> 00:37:07,946 I MEAN IT, MICHELLE. 986 00:37:07,946 --> 00:37:09,217 WHAT ARE THEY DOING SITTING THERE? 987 00:37:09,217 --> 00:37:10,549 WHAT'S GOING ON? 988 00:37:10,549 --> 00:37:12,150 I HAVE DECIDED TO DEVOTE TONIGHT'S CLASS 989 00:37:12,150 --> 00:37:14,223 TO THE SUBJECT OF SEXUAL EDUCATION. 990 00:37:14,223 --> 00:37:15,824 NO. 991 00:37:15,824 --> 00:37:18,097 SOMEONE CAME TO YOU WITH QUESTIONS ABOUT SEX. 992 00:37:18,097 --> 00:37:20,099 I KNOW THIS BECAUSE YOU MAY BE 993 00:37:20,099 --> 00:37:21,961 ONE OF THE WORST LIARS IN HISTORY. 994 00:37:21,961 --> 00:37:23,632 NOW SINCE I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE IT WAS, 995 00:37:23,632 --> 00:37:24,964 I'M GOING TO HAVE TO TALK TO THEM ALL. 996 00:37:24,964 --> 00:37:26,305 - FANNY, NO. DON'T. - WHY NOT? 997 00:37:26,305 --> 00:37:27,837 THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS FROM YOU. 998 00:37:27,837 --> 00:37:29,108 WHY, BECAUSE I'M A HIDEOUS OLD WOMAN? 999 00:37:29,108 --> 00:37:30,640 YOU'RE NOT HIDEOUS. 1000 00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:32,972 YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW ABOUT SEX? 1001 00:37:32,972 --> 00:37:34,974 I KNOW ALL ABOUT SEX. 1002 00:37:34,974 --> 00:37:37,647 I HAVE PASSAGES IN MY DIARIES 1003 00:37:37,647 --> 00:37:39,980 THAT WOULD MAKE ANAIS NIN BLUSH. 1004 00:37:39,980 --> 00:37:43,123 I AM NO STRANGER TO CLANDESTINE CARNAL KNOWINGS. 1005 00:37:43,123 --> 00:37:45,656 AND I CAN EXPLAIN IT ALL TO THEM. 1006 00:37:45,656 --> 00:37:48,088 NOT IF YOU USE THE WORDS "CLANDESTINE CARNAL KNOWINGS." 1007 00:37:48,088 --> 00:37:50,631 GO AWAY, MICHELLE. 1008 00:37:50,631 --> 00:37:52,633 ( cellphone rings ) 1009 00:37:59,641 --> 00:38:01,242 FANNY, PLEASE. I'M GONNA HANDLE THIS. 1010 00:38:01,242 --> 00:38:02,574 - YOU ARE? - YES. 1011 00:38:02,574 --> 00:38:03,845 - WHEN? - ON SUNDAY. 1012 00:38:03,845 --> 00:38:04,976 - WHAT? - WHEN THIS PERSON CAME TO ME, 1013 00:38:04,976 --> 00:38:06,648 WE MADE AN APPOINTMENT TO TALK ON SUNDAY. 1014 00:38:06,648 --> 00:38:08,650 - YOU'RE KIDDING. - SUNDAY AT 6:00. 1015 00:38:08,650 --> 00:38:10,112 OR 5:00... 4:00. 1016 00:38:10,112 --> 00:38:12,985 SUNDAY SOMETIME BETWEEN 3:00 AND 8:00. 1017 00:38:12,985 --> 00:38:15,117 YOU MADE AN APPOINTMENT TO DISCUSS SEX 1018 00:38:15,117 --> 00:38:17,990 WITH A YOUNG GIRL ON SUNDAY BETWEEN 3:00 AND 8:00 1019 00:38:17,990 --> 00:38:19,261 LIKE YOU'RE THE CABLE GUY? 1020 00:38:19,261 --> 00:38:20,823 WELL, YOU MAKE THAT SOUND BAD. 1021 00:38:20,823 --> 00:38:23,125 YOU WOULD PUT SOMETHING THIS IMPORTANT OFF UNTIL SUNDAY? 1022 00:38:23,125 --> 00:38:24,267 SHE COULD BE PREGNANT BY SUNDAY. 1023 00:38:24,267 --> 00:38:25,698 SHE'S NOT GONNA BE PREGNANT BY SUNDAY. 1024 00:38:25,698 --> 00:38:27,370 - WHY NOT? - BECAUSE SHE'S SMART, FANNY. 1025 00:38:27,370 --> 00:38:29,102 SHE CAME TO YOU FOR SEX ADVICE. 1026 00:38:29,102 --> 00:38:31,174 OKAY, WE'RE NOT TALKING MENSA SMART, 1027 00:38:31,174 --> 00:38:33,677 BUT SHE'S SMART ENOUGH NOT TO GET PREGNANT IN TWO DAYS. 1028 00:38:33,677 --> 00:38:37,110 I FEEL A GREAT RESPONSIBILITY TO ALL THESE KIDS, MICHELLE. 1029 00:38:37,110 --> 00:38:39,243 SO PLEASE JUST LET ME HANDLE THIS. 1030 00:38:39,243 --> 00:38:41,245 ALL RIGHT, SHANIA, PASS THESE OUT. 1031 00:38:42,646 --> 00:38:43,717 ALL RIGHT. 1032 00:38:43,717 --> 00:38:45,319 EVERYONE'S GOING TO GET ONE OF THESE. 1033 00:38:45,319 --> 00:38:47,852 NOW THE FIRST THING TO KNOW 1034 00:38:47,852 --> 00:38:49,654 IS THAT SEX IS NOT IMPERSONAL. 1035 00:38:49,654 --> 00:38:51,255 IT IS HUMAN TO HUMAN. 1036 00:38:51,255 --> 00:38:52,997 IT IS INTIMATE. 1037 00:38:52,997 --> 00:38:54,258 WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT 1038 00:38:54,258 --> 00:38:57,902 HOW TO TRULY INTERACT WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX. 1039 00:38:57,902 --> 00:39:00,065 EVERYONE, NAME YOUR BANANAS. 1040 00:39:00,065 --> 00:39:01,806 Michelle: OH MY GOD. FANNY. 1041 00:39:01,806 --> 00:39:03,138 GO AWAY. 1042 00:39:03,138 --> 00:39:04,940 NAME IT ANYTHING YOU LIKE. 1043 00:39:04,940 --> 00:39:07,943 BUT A NAME THAT YOU HAVE POSITIVE FEELINGS TOWARDS. 1044 00:39:07,943 --> 00:39:09,144 THIS IS INSANE. 1045 00:39:09,144 --> 00:39:11,677 GO AWAY IF YOU DON'T WANT TO WATCH. 1046 00:39:12,978 --> 00:39:14,320 NOW EVERYONE, 1047 00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:18,854 PRETEND YOUR BANANA HAS JUST ASKED YOU TO HAVE SEX. 1048 00:39:18,854 --> 00:39:20,927 ( groans ) 1049 00:39:20,927 --> 00:39:22,028 THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK. 1050 00:39:22,028 --> 00:39:23,690 I'M ALLERGIC TO BANANAS. 1051 00:39:29,135 --> 00:39:30,196 MADE A BREAK FOR IT? 1052 00:39:30,196 --> 00:39:31,338 CLEAN GETAWAY. 1053 00:39:31,338 --> 00:39:32,799 DON'T WORRY. AFTER HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS 1054 00:39:32,799 --> 00:39:34,071 OF DOLLARS OF THERAPY, 1055 00:39:34,071 --> 00:39:35,202 YOU'LL FORGET WHAT JUST HAPPENED IN THERE. 1056 00:39:35,202 --> 00:39:36,343 OH, SO THERE'S HOPE. 1057 00:39:36,343 --> 00:39:38,275 HEAVY DRINKING MAY SPEED THINGS ALONG. 1058 00:39:44,011 --> 00:39:46,153 SO, HOW WAS THE AUDITION TODAY? 1059 00:39:49,016 --> 00:39:50,158 IT WAS FINE. 1060 00:39:50,158 --> 00:39:52,120 YEAH? 1061 00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:53,992 YEAH. 1062 00:39:53,992 --> 00:39:55,463 GOOD. 1063 00:39:55,463 --> 00:39:58,126 ( sighs ) 1064 00:39:58,126 --> 00:40:00,128 YOU OKAY? 1065 00:40:02,130 --> 00:40:04,132 HEY, WHAT'S WRONG? 1066 00:40:04,132 --> 00:40:06,134 GINNY? 1067 00:40:06,134 --> 00:40:08,006 MY BANANA'S NAME IS FRANKIE. 1068 00:40:08,006 --> 00:40:09,478 WHAT? 1069 00:40:11,140 --> 00:40:12,481 I SLEPT WITH FRANKIE. 1070 00:40:17,146 --> 00:40:19,148 I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU WERE DATING FRANKIE. 1071 00:40:19,148 --> 00:40:20,490 I'M NOT. 1072 00:40:20,490 --> 00:40:22,151 HE DOESN'T DATE. HE JUST... 1073 00:40:22,151 --> 00:40:24,494 EXISTS WITH THE REST OF HUMANITY. 1074 00:40:24,494 --> 00:40:26,156 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 1075 00:40:26,156 --> 00:40:27,497 I DON'T KNOW. 1076 00:40:27,497 --> 00:40:30,030 I NEVER KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT. 1077 00:40:30,030 --> 00:40:33,033 AND HE CAN GO FOR HOURS WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING AT ALL. 1078 00:40:35,005 --> 00:40:36,136 HE'S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL. 1079 00:40:38,138 --> 00:40:39,209 I KNOW. 1080 00:40:41,142 --> 00:40:42,473 CAN YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU'VE NEVER HAD 1081 00:40:42,473 --> 00:40:43,744 A CONVERSATION WITH? 1082 00:40:48,479 --> 00:40:50,021 WHEN DID YOU? 1083 00:40:50,021 --> 00:40:52,023 LAST WEEK. 1084 00:40:52,023 --> 00:40:54,025 AND SINCE? 1085 00:40:56,027 --> 00:40:57,489 HAVEN'T SEEN HIM. 1086 00:40:57,489 --> 00:41:01,033 HE HASN'T CALLED. I DON'T THINK HE HAS MY NUMBER. 1087 00:41:01,033 --> 00:41:02,294 I'M NOT SURE HE KNOWS MY NAME. 1088 00:41:02,294 --> 00:41:04,166 I'M SURE HE KNOWS YOUR NAME. 1089 00:41:04,166 --> 00:41:06,038 I WROTE HIM A NOTE. 1090 00:41:06,038 --> 00:41:07,169 - A NOTE? - A THANK YOU NOTE. 1091 00:41:07,169 --> 00:41:08,500 YOU WROTE HIM A THANK YOU NOTE? 1092 00:41:08,500 --> 00:41:10,172 I WROTE IT, I PROOFED IT, I SENT IT. 1093 00:41:10,172 --> 00:41:12,244 I HAVE A COPY. 1094 00:41:12,244 --> 00:41:13,776 WHAT DOES IT SAY? 1095 00:41:16,149 --> 00:41:18,281 "DEAR FRANKIE, I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU 1096 00:41:18,281 --> 00:41:20,153 THAT I ENJOYED OUR ENCOUNTER VERY MUCH. 1097 00:41:20,153 --> 00:41:21,354 AS FAR AS FIRST TIMES GO, 1098 00:41:21,354 --> 00:41:23,086 THIS SEEMED SUCCESSFUL. 1099 00:41:23,086 --> 00:41:24,157 GOOD LUCK. GINNY." 1100 00:41:24,157 --> 00:41:26,019 GOOD LUCK? GOOD LUCK WITH WHAT? 1101 00:41:28,021 --> 00:41:29,162 I DON'T KNOW. 1102 00:41:29,162 --> 00:41:32,025 WHY DID I WRITE THIS? WHY DID I SEND IT? 1103 00:41:32,025 --> 00:41:33,497 WHY DID I-- 1104 00:41:33,497 --> 00:41:36,030 ( sighs ) I'M AN IDIOT. 1105 00:41:36,030 --> 00:41:38,032 NO. 1106 00:41:38,032 --> 00:41:40,034 HE'S NEVER GONNA TALK TO ME AGAIN. 1107 00:41:40,034 --> 00:41:41,505 YOU DON'T KNOW THAT. 1108 00:41:44,178 --> 00:41:46,040 HE WAS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL. 1109 00:41:53,518 --> 00:41:55,520 ( sobbing ) 1110 00:41:58,493 --> 00:42:00,495 ♪ ANOTHER BRIDE ♪ 1111 00:42:00,495 --> 00:42:02,498 ♪ ANOTHER JUNE ♪ 1112 00:42:02,498 --> 00:42:05,501 ♪ ANOTHER SUNNY ♪ 1113 00:42:05,501 --> 00:42:07,163 ♪ HONEYMOON ♪ 1114 00:42:07,163 --> 00:42:09,505 ♪ ANOTHER SEASON ♪ 1115 00:42:09,505 --> 00:42:11,167 ♪ ANOTHER REASON ♪ 1116 00:42:11,167 --> 00:42:13,509 ♪ FOR MAKIN' WHOOPEE ♪ 1117 00:42:16,172 --> 00:42:18,174 ♪ A LOT OF SHOES ♪ 1118 00:42:18,174 --> 00:42:20,046 ♪ A LOT OF RICE ♪ 1119 00:42:20,046 --> 00:42:22,519 ♪ THE GROOM IS NERVOUS ♪ 1120 00:42:22,519 --> 00:42:25,051 ♪ HE ANSWERS TWICE ♪ 1121 00:42:25,051 --> 00:42:27,054 ♪ IT'S REALLY KILLING ♪ 1122 00:42:27,054 --> 00:42:29,056 ♪ BUT HE'S SO WILLING ♪ 1123 00:42:29,056 --> 00:42:31,058 ♪ TO MAKE WHOOPEE ♪ 1124 00:42:34,532 --> 00:42:38,195 ♪ PICTURE A LITTLE LOVE NEST ♪ 1125 00:42:38,195 --> 00:42:42,170 ♪ DOWN WHERE THE ROSES CLING ♪ 1126 00:42:42,170 --> 00:42:46,504 ♪ PICTURE THE SAME SWEET LOVE NEST ♪ 1127 00:42:46,504 --> 00:42:51,049 ♪ THINK WHAT A YEAR CAN BRING ♪ 1128 00:42:51,049 --> 00:42:52,511 ♪ SHE SITS ALONE ♪ 1129 00:42:52,511 --> 00:42:55,053 ♪ MOST EVERY NIGHT ♪ 1130 00:42:55,053 --> 00:42:57,516 ♪ HE DOESN'T PHONE HER ♪ 1131 00:42:57,516 --> 00:42:59,188 ♪ HE DOESN'T WRITE ♪ 1132 00:42:59,188 --> 00:43:01,520 ♪ HE SAYS HE'S BUSY ♪ 1133 00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,063 ♪ BUT SHE SAYS "IS HE?" ♪ 1134 00:43:04,063 --> 00:43:06,065 ♪ HE'S MAKIN' WHOOPEE ♪ 1135 00:43:09,198 --> 00:43:13,072 ♪ HE DOESN'T MAKE MUCH MONEY ♪ 1136 00:43:13,072 --> 00:43:16,536 ♪ ONLY 5,000 PER ♪ 1137 00:43:16,536 --> 00:43:21,081 ♪ SOME JUDGE WHO THINKS HE'S FUNNY ♪ 1138 00:43:21,081 --> 00:43:26,116 ♪ SAYS YOU'LL PAY SIX TO HER ♪ 1139 00:43:26,116 --> 00:43:28,048 ♪ HE SAYS "NOW, JUDGE ♪ 1140 00:43:28,048 --> 00:43:30,050 ♪ SUPPOSE I FAIL" ♪ 1141 00:43:30,050 --> 00:43:33,053 ♪ THE JUDGE SAYS "BUDGE RIGHT ♪ 1142 00:43:33,053 --> 00:43:34,655 ♪ INTO JAIL" ♪ 1143 00:43:34,655 --> 00:43:37,058 ♪ YOU'D BETTER KEEP HER ♪ 1144 00:43:37,058 --> 00:43:39,060 ♪ I THINK IT'S CHEAPER ♪ 1145 00:43:39,060 --> 00:43:40,531 ♪ THAN MAKIN' WHOOPEE ♪ 1146 00:43:43,204 --> 00:43:45,066 ♪ THAN MAKIN' WHOOPEE. ♪ 78941

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