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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,657 --> 00:00:07,181 Michelle: PREVIOUSLY ON "BUNHEADS." 2 00:00:07,224 --> 00:00:09,400 Fanny: JOFFREY SCHOOL OF BALLET WILL BE COMING HERE 3 00:00:09,444 --> 00:00:11,315 TO HOLD AUDITIONS NEXT WEEK 4 00:00:11,359 --> 00:00:13,491 FOR THEIR SUMMER SUMMER SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAM. 5 00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:15,015 I WAS THINKING I WAS GONNA TRY OUT. 6 00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:16,494 WELL, IT CERTAINLY CAN'T HURT. 7 00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:18,757 GOD, BOO. WHY DON'T YOU JUST GIVE HIM A LAP DANCE? 8 00:00:18,801 --> 00:00:20,107 Melanie: I COULD KILL SASHA. 9 00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:21,717 - SHE'S SO AWFUL. - SHE'S HAVING A BAD DAY. 10 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,328 YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ME, BOO. 11 00:00:24,372 --> 00:00:26,548 DON'T PSYCHOANALYZE ME, FEEL SORRY FOR ME 12 00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:28,071 OR DEFEND ME. I'M FINE. 13 00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:29,203 Michelle: THIS IS YOUR HOME, FANNY. 14 00:00:29,246 --> 00:00:30,595 YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE HERE, 15 00:00:30,639 --> 00:00:32,293 AND I'M GOING TO MOVE INTO THE GUESTHOUSE. 16 00:00:33,772 --> 00:00:35,774 IT IS NOT POSSIBLE THAT ALL OF THIS STUFF IS MINE. 17 00:00:35,818 --> 00:00:37,037 IT'S A PHYSICAL IMPOSSIBILITY. 18 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,038 I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S ALL YOURS. 19 00:00:38,081 --> 00:00:39,604 A-HA! "PRETTY SURE." 20 00:00:39,648 --> 00:00:42,085 - THAT'S NOT ABSOLUTELY SURE - I'M PRETTY ABSOLUTELY SURE. 21 00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,782 - IT'S ALL ON THE MANIFEST. - WHOA THERE, PARTNER. 22 00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:45,654 - WHERE YOU GOING WITH THAT? - HE'S JUST TAKING IT INSIDE. 23 00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:49,179 WHAT? NO. I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH INSIDE FOR ALL OF THIS TO GO IN. 24 00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:50,789 I MEAN HOW MANY MORE BOXES ARE THERE? 25 00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:51,790 THESE ARE ALL THE BOXES. 26 00:00:51,834 --> 00:00:53,096 WHAT'S LEFT IS JUST FURNITURE. 27 00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,402 FURNITURE? OH MY GOD. 28 00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:55,620 THAT STUPID LANDLORD. 29 00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:56,708 YOU WANT A LITTLE BACKSTORY? 30 00:00:56,752 --> 00:00:57,883 TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I REALLY DON'T-- 31 00:00:57,927 --> 00:00:59,624 SEE, I HAD TO LEAVE VEGAS IN A HURRY. 32 00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:01,148 I WASN'T RUNNING FROM THE LAW OR ANYTHING. 33 00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:02,323 I JUST BOLTED REALLY QUICKLY 34 00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:03,802 AND LEFT ALL MY STUFF IN MY APARTMENT, 35 00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:05,456 SO I MADE A DEAL WITH THE LANDLORD TO SHIP IT. 36 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:08,285 ONLY HE THREW IN STUFF THAT ISN'T EVEN MINE FOR SURE. 37 00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:10,766 I MEAN THIS? DOES THIS LOOK LIKE SOMETHING I WOULD OWN? 38 00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:12,768 ME? ACTUALLY, THIS IS MINE. 39 00:01:12,811 --> 00:01:14,422 I HAVE A CRAZY AUNT WHO HAS A THING FOR MEXICO. 40 00:01:14,465 --> 00:01:16,467 BUT THE BULK OF THIS STUFF-- NO WAY! 41 00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:17,686 COMIN' THROUGH. WATCH YOUR BACKS. 42 00:01:17,729 --> 00:01:19,775 OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. 43 00:01:19,818 --> 00:01:21,777 THE BUFFET? ARE YOU JOKING? 44 00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:24,258 - IT'S ON THE MANIFEST. - BUT THIS IS ONE OF THE OLD PIECES 45 00:01:24,301 --> 00:01:26,608 OF CRAP FURNITURE THAT WAS IN THE PLACE WHEN I TOOK IT. 46 00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:28,436 I NEVER EVEN TOUCHED IT AFTER THAT FIRST DAY 47 00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:29,698 WHEN I OPENED THIS DRAWER, AND THERE WAS THIS 48 00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:30,829 THING IN IT. [ small gasp ] 49 00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:32,266 THE THING'S STILL THERE. WOW. 50 00:01:32,309 --> 00:01:33,832 - I'M NOT TAKING THIS! - WE HAVE TO LEAVE IT. 51 00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:35,443 - IT'S ON THE-- - IT'S ON THE MANIFEST. 52 00:01:35,486 --> 00:01:37,140 - I KNOW. - [ clock bell tolls ] 53 00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:38,794 OH. 54 00:01:38,837 --> 00:01:40,578 WELL. HELLO THERE, GRANDPA. 55 00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:42,232 NICE TO SEE YOU. 56 00:01:42,276 --> 00:01:44,669 I NEED THESE DIRT PATCHES FILLED IN. 57 00:01:44,713 --> 00:01:46,715 I KNOW THERE'S NOT ENOUGH SUN TO SUSTAIN IT. 58 00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:48,673 BUT JUST TO GET ME THROUGH THE AUDITIONS. 59 00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:51,850 AND I WANT TO PLANT FLOWERS ALONG THE BASE OF THE STUDIO 60 00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:53,591 AND ALL AROUND THE BACK. 61 00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,637 COLOR! THINK COLOR. 62 00:01:57,421 --> 00:01:58,683 WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 63 00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:01,208 - I'M BEING ROBBED IN REVERSE. - WHAT? 64 00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:03,688 THINGS ARE BEING BROUGHT TO ME THAT I DO NOT OWN OR WANT. 65 00:02:03,732 --> 00:02:05,690 DO NOT SAY WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO SAY. 66 00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:06,778 FOLLOW ME. 67 00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:08,780 FOLLOW ME! 68 00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:10,695 OH, ME? OKAY. 69 00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:17,267 EVERY BARRE IS LOOSE, SO TIGHTEN THEM. 70 00:02:17,311 --> 00:02:18,790 NOW THE AUDIO. 71 00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:20,749 THE LEFT SPEAKER ON THE STEREO 72 00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:23,404 IS STILL STATICKY EVEN AFTER YOU FIXED IT THE LAST TIME, 73 00:02:23,447 --> 00:02:25,232 SO PLEASE LOOK AT IT AGAIN. 74 00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:26,668 THE NEW MIRROR IS OVER THERE. 75 00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:27,799 PLEASE PUT THAT UP FIRST, 76 00:02:27,843 --> 00:02:29,018 SO THAT I KNOW THAT IT'S PERFECT. 77 00:02:29,061 --> 00:02:31,238 AND GET ALL THAT STUFF OUT OF THERE. 78 00:02:31,281 --> 00:02:32,761 - DID YOU HEAR ME? - HEAR WHAT? 79 00:02:32,804 --> 00:02:34,241 GET ALL OF THAT STUFF IN THE DRIVEWAY 80 00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:35,894 - OUT OF THERE. - SORRY, YOU'RE CUES TODAY 81 00:02:35,938 --> 00:02:37,766 ON WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO ARE A LITTLE VAGUE. 82 00:02:37,809 --> 00:02:39,159 NOW, THE THING ABOUT THE STUFF-- 83 00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:40,203 IS THAT IT'S ALL GOING BYE-BYE. 84 00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,813 - YES, BUT-- - NO BUTS. 85 00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:43,206 I'M TRYING TO DEAL WITH IT, FANNY. IT'S JUST MORE 86 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:44,903 THAN I THOUGHT THERE WAS GOING TO BE. 87 00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:47,558 I MEAN I DIDN'T WANT ANY OF THAT FURNITURE SHIPPED. IT'S JUNK! 88 00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:49,212 - WAS IT ON THE MANIFEST? - [ angrily ] YES. 89 00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:50,822 [ whines ] BUT IT'S NOT EVEN MINE. 90 00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:53,564 I MEAN I TOOK THIS PLACE IN VEGAS PARTIALLY FURNISHED 91 00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:54,913 BECAUSE AT THE TIME I WAS COMING OFF 92 00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:56,698 OF A PARTIALLY UNHAPPY RELATIONSHIP 93 00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:57,786 WITH THIS GUY THAT I LIVED WITH-- 94 00:02:57,829 --> 00:02:59,266 MORE UNHAPPY THAN PARTIAL. 95 00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:01,268 AND I THOUGHT, "GREAT! LESS STUFF TO BUY." 96 00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:03,400 BUT, OH MY GOD, THE STUFF IN THIS APARTMENT-- 97 00:03:03,444 --> 00:03:05,924 I MEAN THE GRANDFATHER CLOCK ACTUALLY HAS A CUTOUT IN THE BACK, 98 00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:07,752 LIKE CLEMENZA USED IT TO STASH A GUN FOR MICHAEL 99 00:03:07,796 --> 00:03:09,276 TO SHOOT THE POLICE CHIEF WITH. 100 00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:11,278 WAIT. 101 00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:12,540 WHO KILLED A POLICE CHIEF? 102 00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:13,584 MICHAEL IN "THE GODFATHER." 103 00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:14,585 OH MY GOD. 104 00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:15,630 HOW LONG DID I TUNE YOU OUT 105 00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:16,761 THAT YOU WENT ALL THE WAY THERE? 106 00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:18,546 SO I'M JUST SAYING ALL OF THAT STUFF 107 00:03:18,589 --> 00:03:19,895 - WILL BE GONE-- - IMMEDIATELY. 108 00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:21,679 - IF NOT IMMEDIATELY-- - THEN IMMEDIATELY. 109 00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:23,812 SO IF THERE'S ANY EXTRA STORAGE NOOKS OR CRANNIES 110 00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:25,944 THAT I COULD TEMPORARILY PUT SOME OF THIS STUFF IN, 111 00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:27,424 - THAT WOULD BE-- - NO. 112 00:03:27,468 --> 00:03:29,426 THERE ARE NO NOOKS, THERE ARE NO CRANNIES-- 113 00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:30,906 NOT WITH THE JOFFREY PEOPLE COMING. 114 00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:33,387 I DON'T WANT THEM ACCIDENTLY OPENING A DOOR 115 00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:34,779 AND THE END TABLE FROM "BLUE VELVET" 116 00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:35,954 LANDS ON THEIR HEADS. 117 00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:37,608 [ whining ] BUT IT'S SO MUCH STUFF. 118 00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:40,611 MAKE IT DISAPPEAR. LIKE DAVID COPPERFIELD. 119 00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:41,786 THAT'S A VEGAS REFERENCE. 120 00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:42,961 YOU KNOW HOW DAVID COPPERFIELD 121 00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:44,311 MAKES STUFF DISAPPEAR? 122 00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:46,748 ACTUALLY, I DON'T. 123 00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:49,272 DAVID COPPERFIELD IS A VERY PROFESSIONAL MAGICIAN 124 00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:52,623 WHO HONORS THE VALUE OF KEEPING THE MYSTERY OF THE MAGICAL ARTS ALIVE. 125 00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:59,282 I'M FEELING VERY FATALISTIC ABOUT ALL THIS. 126 00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:01,763 - IS THERE ANY MORE? - NOT MUCH MORE. 127 00:04:01,806 --> 00:04:03,982 DO ME A SOLID AND MAKE LIKE DAVID COPPERFIELD. 128 00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:05,288 - THE MAGICIAN? - YEAH. 129 00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:06,376 I'M SORRY. 130 00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:07,899 [ sighs ] I DIDN'T THINK SO. 131 00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:18,519 [ theme music playing ] 132 00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:44,675 [ gasps ] THE SPICY GARLIC HUMMUS 133 00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:46,024 WITH THE SUPER CRUNCHY PITA CHIPS. 134 00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:46,982 WE SHOULD GET THAT. 135 00:04:47,025 --> 00:04:48,853 - NOPE. - JUST THE PITA CHIPS? 136 00:04:48,897 --> 00:04:50,377 PUT THE BAG DOWN, MOM. 137 00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:52,379 THANKS. 138 00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:55,860 - HERE. - THEY LOOK SO CRUNCHY. 139 00:04:55,904 --> 00:04:57,514 LET'S GO FIND SOME RADISHES. 140 00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:58,776 THAT SOUNDS FUN. 141 00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,778 I DO LIKE MY FANCY SHOPPING BAG. 142 00:05:00,822 --> 00:05:03,303 WE ARE SO GLOBAL BRINGING OUR CANVAS TOTES LIKE THIS. 143 00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:05,348 I ONLY HAD TO BUG YOU FOR A YEAR TO GET YOU TO DO IT. 144 00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:06,871 IT WAS THE PICTURE OF THAT SEAGULL CHOKING 145 00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:08,351 ON THAT PLASTIC BAG THAT DID IT. 146 00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:09,526 MADE ME CRY. 147 00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:11,049 AND NOW THIS MAKES ME HAPPY. 148 00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:12,877 LIKE THAT SEAGULL CHOKED FOR A REASON. 149 00:05:12,921 --> 00:05:15,532 - LOOK HOW COLORFUL! - [ sighs ] BOO! 150 00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:17,055 AH, THIS STUFF'S BEAUTIFUL. 151 00:05:17,099 --> 00:05:19,710 - BORING! - WE'LL GET TWO BUNDLES OF THE RADISHES. 152 00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:21,886 WE ALREADY HAVE CAULIFLOWER, TURNIPS, CELERY. 153 00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:23,061 I'M JUST TRYING TO BE GOOD. 154 00:05:23,105 --> 00:05:25,368 THE JOFFREY AUDITIONS ARE IN ONE WEEK. 155 00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,718 NOW IS CRUNCH TIME. 156 00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:29,546 GET IT? CRUNCH TIME. 157 00:05:29,590 --> 00:05:30,895 - [ chuckles ] - WELL THERE'S SUCH A THING AS HAVING 158 00:05:30,939 --> 00:05:32,070 TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING. 159 00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:33,376 LET'S GET SOMETHING FUN. 160 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,030 I DID. I GOT EDAMAME. 161 00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:37,380 [ sarcastically ] HOORAY FOR EDAMAME! 162 00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:38,990 [ gasps ] LOOK! 163 00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:40,557 THE HOMEMADE DARK CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER CUPS 164 00:05:40,601 --> 00:05:42,080 FROM THE HIPPIE PLACE IN TOPANGA CANYON. 165 00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:43,386 IT'S A MIRACLE THEY HAVE THESE. 166 00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:45,083 THEY'RE USUALLY ALL OFF ON THEIR NAKED RETREAT 167 00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:46,563 - THIS TIME OF YEAR. - NO. 168 00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:47,869 - COME ON. - NO. 169 00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:49,827 - GET THEM FOR ME THEN. - I'M NOT STOPPING YOU. 170 00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:52,047 IT'S MORE FUN WHEN WE EAT STUFF TOGETHER. 171 00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:53,918 - MOM. - I JUST-- 172 00:05:53,962 --> 00:05:56,791 I WORRY A LITTLE BIT. I MEAN THIS JOFFREY AUDITION 173 00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:59,402 - SEEMS SO IMPORTANT. - IT IS SO IMPORTANT. 174 00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:00,925 YOU WERE SO DISAPPOINTED LAST YEAR 175 00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:02,100 WHEN YOU DIDN'T GET IN, REMEMBER? 176 00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:03,406 YEAH, I REMEMBER. 177 00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:04,581 YOU CRIED ALL WEEK LONG, 178 00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:05,930 I GOT YOU THAT CAKE TO CHEER YOU UP 179 00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:07,802 AND WE ATE THE WHOLE THING, EVERY BIT OF IT. 180 00:06:07,845 --> 00:06:09,064 THAT WAS A GOOD CAKE. 181 00:06:09,107 --> 00:06:10,544 [ exhales ] SO GOOD. 182 00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:12,894 BUT THIS YEAR'S DIFFERENT. I'M BETTER. 183 00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:15,375 I'M A BETTER DANCER, I'M IN BETTER SHAPE-- 184 00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:16,985 YOU ARE IN PERFECT SHAPE. 185 00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:18,682 YOU ARE PERFECT. 186 00:06:18,726 --> 00:06:20,597 I'M READY. I KNOW I'M READY. 187 00:06:20,641 --> 00:06:22,904 OKAY, BUT IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT-- 188 00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:24,906 IT WILL. YOU'LL SEE. 189 00:06:24,949 --> 00:06:26,603 OKAY. JUST CHECKING. 190 00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:28,953 KETTLE CORN! 191 00:06:28,997 --> 00:06:31,521 AH, KEEP MOVING. KEEP MOVING 192 00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:33,175 POPCORN'S A WHOLE GRAIN. 193 00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:34,959 THE SOUTHERN LADY WITH THE DIABETES ON THE FOOD CHANNEL 194 00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:37,092 - SAID SO. - [ gasps ] OOH, KALE. 195 00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:38,136 [ sighs ] 196 00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:42,010 [ country music playing ] 197 00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:52,194 [ spits ] 198 00:06:57,504 --> 00:06:59,593 HOT. IS THAT HOT? 199 00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:00,811 OOH, THAT'S HOT. 200 00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:12,649 [ hissing ] 201 00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:20,788 UH-OH, SPADOODLE-OHS. 202 00:07:23,617 --> 00:07:25,749 - [ clangs ] - OH! UH! 203 00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:28,099 - [ hissing louder ] - OKAY. OKAY. 204 00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:30,058 OKAY. OKAY. 205 00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:32,582 OKAY. HELP! HELP! ANYBODY! 206 00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:35,498 ANYBODY? ANYONE WHO KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT GAS? 207 00:07:48,816 --> 00:07:49,947 - [ thuds ] - OW! 208 00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:51,471 AH! 209 00:07:51,514 --> 00:07:52,994 IT'S LIKE A STORAGE FACILITY IN HERE. 210 00:07:53,037 --> 00:07:55,475 - FANNY? - WHY ARE YOUR DOORS OPEN? 211 00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:57,128 - WHY ARE YOU HERE? - AND WHY IS YOUR WINDOW OPEN? 212 00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:58,956 - IS EVERYTHING OKAY? - AREN'T YOU FREEZING? 213 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,610 - IT'S FREEZING IN HERE. - THAT'S WHAT I JUST SAID. 214 00:08:00,654 --> 00:08:02,090 - ARE THE WINDOWS OPEN? - AND THE DOOR. 215 00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:03,483 I LEFT THE DOOR OPEN? 216 00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:04,484 WE HAVE GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS 217 00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:05,789 MOBIUS STRIP OF CONVERSATION 218 00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:07,704 - OR I'LL SCREAM. - OH, GET USED TO IT. 219 00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:09,706 - I'M SLOW TO AWAKEN. - WE DON'T SLEEP TOGETHER. 220 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:10,925 WHY SHOULD I GET USED TO IT? 221 00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:14,145 - BRIGHT! - WELL, I HAVE TO SEE. 222 00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:16,147 EVERYTHING WAS OPEN 'CAUSE THE PLACE 223 00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:17,801 FILLED UP WITH GAS FROM THE STOVE. 224 00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:20,500 I HAD TO AIR IT OUT OR DIE. 225 00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:22,153 WE GOT IT OFF EVENTUALLY. 226 00:08:22,197 --> 00:08:23,111 WE? WHO'S WE? 227 00:08:23,154 --> 00:08:24,982 ME AND YOUR GUY. 228 00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:27,115 - WHAT GUY? - OH, THE GUY WITH THE BEARD. 229 00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:29,552 HE WAS OUTSIDE AND ASKED IF I NEEDED HELP. 230 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:30,553 SO HE HELPED. 231 00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:31,859 I DON'T HAVE A GUY. 232 00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:32,903 THEN WHO THE HELL WAS THAT? 233 00:08:32,947 --> 00:08:34,731 I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE A STALKER 234 00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,603 OR CHARLIE MANSON'S KID BROTHER. 235 00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:38,953 I THOUGHT HE WAS YOUR GUY. 236 00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:41,956 BOY, THE BEARD MADE HIM SEEM SO KIND, 237 00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:43,000 LIKE LINCOLN. 238 00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:44,132 THIS PLACE IS A MESS. 239 00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:45,655 IT'S 'CAUSE I HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF, 240 00:08:45,699 --> 00:08:47,178 AND TOO LITTLE PLACE. 241 00:08:47,222 --> 00:08:49,529 WHEN JOFFREY IS HERE IT CANNOT BE THIS WAY. 242 00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,052 I'LL BE A LAUGHINGSTOCK. 243 00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:53,184 I HAVE NO KITCHEN. I'VE JUST DISCOVERED THAT. 244 00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:55,186 THE FRIDGE IS HOT, THE STOVE IS BUSTED 245 00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:57,188 AND I CAN'T OPEN THREE OF THE CUPBOARD DOORS. 246 00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:59,234 THIS HASN'T BEEN A WORKING KITCHEN FOR YEARS. 247 00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:01,105 WELL, CAN I BORROW YOUR KITCHEN? 248 00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:02,933 WHY NOT? I MEAN, TECHNICALLY IT'S YOURS. 249 00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:05,283 NO. IT'S YOURS. I'D JUST BE BORROWING IT. 250 00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:07,677 BE MY GUEST. JUST DON'T COME TOO EARLY. 251 00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:09,113 - OR I'LL WAKE YOU UP? - YES. 252 00:09:09,157 --> 00:09:10,288 THAT WOULD BE RUDE. 253 00:09:10,332 --> 00:09:11,376 DID YOU PACK THIS? 254 00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:13,117 NO, MY DIRTY LITTLE LANDLORD DID. 255 00:09:13,161 --> 00:09:15,119 WELL HE HAS NO RESPECT FOR POSSESSIONS. 256 00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:16,773 BUT HE ALPHABETIZED MY CDs. 257 00:09:16,817 --> 00:09:17,948 THAT'S WEIRD, RIGHT? 258 00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:19,776 THAT SOUNDS WEIRD. 259 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:23,127 I WOULDN'T WEAR ANY OF THIS UNDERWEAR UNTIL YOU WASH IT. 260 00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:24,302 DO YOU HAVE HANGERS? 261 00:09:24,346 --> 00:09:25,347 IN THE ARMOIRE. 262 00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:28,306 YOU'RE VERY PEPPY MILLER. 263 00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,178 I DON'T SLEEP MUCH. 264 00:09:30,221 --> 00:09:32,310 BUT SLEEP IS SUBLIME! 265 00:09:32,354 --> 00:09:35,183 OH, I SLEEP, BUT I ONLY NEED TWO OR THREE HOURS. 266 00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:36,401 AND THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT 267 00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:38,316 IS THE PERFECT TIME TO GET THINGS DONE, 268 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:42,582 - WHEN ALL THE NOISES OF THE DAY HAVE DISSIPATED. - FANNY, DON'T DO THAT. 269 00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:45,019 - I DON'T MIND. - NO. I DON'T MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT. 270 00:09:45,062 --> 00:09:46,150 I MEAN, DON'T DO THAT. 271 00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:47,630 BUT IF YOU DON'T UNPACK, ALL YOUR STUFF 272 00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:49,284 WILL SMELL LIKE BOX. 273 00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:50,981 DO YOU HANG SWEATERS OR FOLD THEM? 274 00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:52,026 FOLD. 275 00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,638 THIS REMINDS ME OF WHEN I FIRST LEFT HOME 276 00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:57,335 TO STUDY DANCE OUT OF TOWN. 277 00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:58,989 I WAS ONLY 16. 278 00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:02,340 MY GOD. CAN YOU IMAGINE? 16 AND OUT OF THE HOUSE. 279 00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:04,995 THE WEEK BEFORE I LEFT, MY MOTHER GAVE ME THIS BOOK, 280 00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:06,997 "HOW A YOUNG LADY SHOULD DO THINGS." 281 00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:09,173 IT WAS THIS ANCIENT LITTLE TINY LEATHERY THING. 282 00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:10,958 SOUNDS LIKE MY VEGAS LANDLORD. 283 00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:13,830 I READ IT COVER TO COVER. A LOT OF IT WAS CORNY AND OUT-OF-DATE. 284 00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:17,181 I MEAN THERE WAS A CHAPTER ON HOW TO LOOK LADYLIKE IN A RUMBLE SEAT. 285 00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:19,227 BUT IT WAS CHARMING TOO. 286 00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:21,708 I LEARNED HOUSEKEEPING, ETIQUETTE, 287 00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:23,231 THE BEST PACKING RULES. 288 00:10:25,146 --> 00:10:26,234 YOU HAVE THREE TIARAS. 289 00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:27,757 MM-HMM. 290 00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:30,630 WHY WOULD ANYONE NEED ONE CHEAP PARTY STORE TIARA, 291 00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:32,936 - LET ALONE THREE? - IT IS SO TOO MUCH THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT 292 00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:34,764 TO BE SUSSING SOMETHING LIKE THIS OUT. 293 00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:36,374 THIS ONE STILL HAS A PRICE TAG ON IT. 294 00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:38,376 GOOD. I CAN RETURN IT. 295 00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:40,683 I WILL SAY IT'S NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO. 296 00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:41,858 IT'S SO QUIET AROUND HERE 297 00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:43,686 - IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. - MMM. 298 00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:45,383 SOMEONE TO TALK TO. 299 00:10:48,256 --> 00:10:49,257 HUH. 300 00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:54,915 [ country music playing ] 301 00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:14,935 [ music stops ] 302 00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:28,339 [ music continues ] 303 00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:42,397 THERE'S ROOM AT THE BARRE. 304 00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:44,965 I'M GOOD. 305 00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:48,098 SEE THE DANCING SHOW LAST NIGHT? 306 00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:50,100 YUP. 307 00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:51,972 I DON'T KNOW WHO HALF THE PEOPLE ARE-- 308 00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:53,800 A BUNCH OF WASHED-UP ALCOHOLICS. 309 00:11:53,843 --> 00:11:55,149 MM-HMM. 310 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,152 AND WE SAW MICHELLE IN HER UNDERWEAR. 311 00:11:58,195 --> 00:11:59,196 [ flatly ] WOW. 312 00:12:01,459 --> 00:12:02,809 SORRY TO BOTHER YOU. 313 00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:09,293 SIMPLE SANDWICHES-- NICE VARIETY 314 00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:10,425 AND SMALL. 315 00:12:10,468 --> 00:12:12,122 THESE ARE FOR BALLERINAS AND THEIR MOMS. 316 00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:13,167 NO DAGWOODS. 317 00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:15,909 YOU'RE GRIMACING. WHY ARE YOU GRIMACING? 318 00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,954 - YOU KNOW WHAT WEIRD? - WHAT? 319 00:12:17,998 --> 00:12:20,435 I GET HUNGOVER AFTER NIGHTS I DON'T DRINK. 320 00:12:20,478 --> 00:12:24,265 - THAT IS WEIRD. - I MEAN I GOT JON BONHAM BANGING AROUND UP THERE. 321 00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:25,919 I HAVEN'T HAD A DRINK SINCE THURSDAY. 322 00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:27,094 MAYBE IT'S A SUGAR THING. 323 00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:28,095 DID YOU EAT TOO MUCH SUGAR? 324 00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:29,444 I DON'T EAT SUGAR. 325 00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:31,794 WAIT. 326 00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:33,796 I DID DRINK LAST NIGHT. 327 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,364 - GOOD GRIEF. - AND I HAD A CANDY BAR. 328 00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:39,019 - SO IT WAS A COMBO. - COULD I GET BOTH OF YOU 329 00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:40,455 TO FOCUS PLEASE? 330 00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:42,413 - SORRY, FANNY. - YEAH, I'M COOL. LET'S DO THIS. 331 00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:45,895 SO ON THE SANDWICHES-- KEEP THE CRUSTS, LOSE THE CRUSTS? 332 00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:48,245 - LOSE THEM. IT'S CLASSIER, - WAIT WAIT WAIT. I'M NOT CUTTING THE CRUSTS 333 00:12:48,289 --> 00:12:50,944 OFF OF ANYTHING, NOT AGAIN. I CUT MY FINGER LAST TIME. 334 00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:53,033 SO HAVE SOMEONE ELSE CUT OFF THE CRUSTS. 335 00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:54,251 CRUSTS ARE THE BEST PART. 336 00:12:54,295 --> 00:12:55,775 WHY WOULD YOU CUT OFF THE CRUSTS? 337 00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:57,428 I LIKE CRUSTS TOO. 338 00:12:57,472 --> 00:12:59,474 RICO, IF YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO DO WHAT I NEED YOU TO DO, 339 00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:01,041 I WILL TAKE MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE. 340 00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:03,304 I'M COOL WITH THAT. 341 00:13:03,347 --> 00:13:06,002 FINE! KEEP THE CRUSTS. 342 00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:09,353 NOW, THE SALADS. I NEED YOU TO DRESS THEM LIGHTLY. 343 00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:12,052 LAST YEAR IT WAS AS IF YOU WATERBOARDED THEM. 344 00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:14,010 [ laughs ] 345 00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:15,272 WHAT'S SO FUNNY? 346 00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:17,927 "WATERBOARDED THE SALADS," MAN. 347 00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:20,103 - THAT'S SICK. - "DON'T WATERBOARD THE SALADS." 348 00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:21,278 - GOT IT, FANNY. - GOOD. 349 00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:24,020 NOW. ON TO THE WELCOME REFRESHMENTS. 350 00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:25,848 THOSE WEREN'T THE WELCOME REFRESHMENTS? 351 00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,023 YEAH. I THOUGHT THOSE WERE 352 00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,329 THE WELCOME REFRESHMENTS. 353 00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:30,200 NO, GUYS. THOSE WERE THE AFTERNOON SNACKS. 354 00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:31,985 AREN'T YOU LISTENING? 355 00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:34,291 - I'M TRYING. - HOW MUCH ARE THESE PEOPLE GONNA EAT? 356 00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:37,164 RICO! HOW ARE YOU EVER GONNA MAKE IT AS A CATERER 357 00:13:37,207 --> 00:13:38,469 WITH THAT SORT OF ATTITUDE? 358 00:13:38,513 --> 00:13:40,471 I'M NOT TRYING TO MAKE IT AS A CATERER. 359 00:13:40,515 --> 00:13:42,473 I'M JUST GONNA MAKE YOU SOME SANDWICHES. 360 00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:44,867 [ sighs ] OH DRAG! 361 00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:48,001 - WE'RE STILL OPEN. - AW, I'M DEALING WITH FANNY HERE. 362 00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:50,568 NINA, WE'RE CATERING THAT THING AGAIN. 363 00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:53,876 - YOU'RE NOT A CATERER. - I TOLD HER I'M NOT A CATERER. 364 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,225 - HE'S NOT A CATERER. - [ mouths ] 365 00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:56,966 WE'RE JUST TRYING TO BANK SOME EXTRA SCRATCH, 366 00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:59,969 SO WE DON'T HAVE TO STAY OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK. 367 00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:03,494 WE'RE OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK? 368 00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:05,322 WHO MADE THAT DECISION? 369 00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:08,412 I DON'T KNOW. ONE OF US AT SOME POINT. 370 00:14:08,456 --> 00:14:11,067 - [ softly ] IT'S STUPID. - I KNOW! 371 00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:14,070 [ cellphone ringing ] 372 00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:16,246 OF COURSE! LISA FROM THE JOFFREY. 373 00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:17,421 NOW WHAT? 374 00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:19,075 HELLO? 375 00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,468 YES, HELLO, LISA. WHAT'S UP? 376 00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:25,603 I SEE. 377 00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:27,083 OKAY, UH-- 378 00:14:27,127 --> 00:14:31,087 WELL, I CAN BE BACK AT THE HOUSE IN, OH, 10 MINUTES. 379 00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:33,089 I'LL READ IT AND I'LL CALL YOU BACK. 380 00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:35,091 THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP. 381 00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:36,397 YEAH. BYE NOW. 382 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:37,572 I HAVE TO GO HOME. 383 00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:39,095 BAD NEWS? WHAT'D SHE SAY? 384 00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:40,401 SHE DIDN'T. SHE JUST SAID THEY'RE SENDING 385 00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:41,576 A FAX. 386 00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:44,057 AND THAT'S A BAD THING? 387 00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,580 - [ door opens ] - I GUESS THAT'S A BAD THING. 388 00:14:45,623 --> 00:14:47,930 HEY! TRY TO FIND OUT HOW HUNGRY 389 00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,453 THEY ALL THINK THEY'RE GONNA BE! 390 00:14:49,497 --> 00:14:51,629 - [ door closes ] - Fanny: FIVE DAYS! 391 00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:53,457 - FIVE DAYS NOTICE? - FIVE DAYS. 392 00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:55,590 FIVE DAYS. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IN FIVE DAYS? 393 00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:57,070 - I DON'T KNOW. IT'S HORRIBLE. - [ door opens ] 394 00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:58,071 IT'S HORRIBLE AND INSULTING, 395 00:14:58,114 --> 00:14:59,289 BECAUSE THIS WAS ON PURPOSE. 396 00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:01,030 - HEY, FANNY, CAN I-- - SHH-SHH-SHH-SHH! 397 00:15:01,074 --> 00:15:03,032 OKAY? WHAT'S HAPPENING? 398 00:15:03,076 --> 00:15:05,382 [ emphatically ] JOFFREY SENT 399 00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:08,081 - A FAX. - WOW. 400 00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:10,083 THERE'S STILL FAX MACHINES? 401 00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:12,259 FANNY, I KNOW THAT THIS ISN'T THE BEST TIME, 402 00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:13,956 BUT IT'S KIND OF IMPORTANT. SORRY. 403 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,958 - WHAT? - IS MY TOILET ON A TIMER? 404 00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:18,004 - WHAT? - WELL IT ONLY SEEMS TO WORK 405 00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:19,135 AT CERTAIN TIMES OF THE DAY. 406 00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:21,007 LIKE RIGHT NOW IT'S 11:30, 407 00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:22,138 AND IT CONKED OUT AGAIN. 408 00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:23,096 IT DID THE SAME THING YESTERDAY 409 00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:25,141 AT THE EXACT SAME TIME-- 11:30. 410 00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:26,969 THIS IS THE WORST POSSIBLE MOMENT 411 00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,144 TO BE TALKING ABOUT YOUR TOILET. 412 00:15:28,188 --> 00:15:29,537 WELL, THERE'S NEVER REALLY A GOOD TIME 413 00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:32,105 TO DISCUSS A TOILET, IN MY EXPERIENCE. 414 00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:33,193 WHAT'S WRONG, FANNY? 415 00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:36,326 THE JOFFREY HAS SENT A FAX. 416 00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:39,112 THE FAX BEING THEIR BOMB-DROPPING VEHICLE OF CHOICE. 417 00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:41,679 - WHAT'S IT SAY? - THEY'RE CANCELLING THE AUDITIONS. 418 00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:43,507 OH-- OH MY GOD! THOSE POOR GIRLS. 419 00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:45,205 THEY'VE BEEN PREPARING FOR WEEKS. 420 00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:46,989 ARE THEY JUST DOING AWAY WITH THE SUMMER PROGRAM? 421 00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:48,295 NO, THEY'RE STILL HOLDING THE AUDITIONS, 422 00:15:48,338 --> 00:15:50,036 BUT THEY'RE HOLDING THEM SOMEWHERE ELSE. 423 00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:52,168 OH WOW-- SHORT NOTICE! WHY? 424 00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:54,170 READ FOR YOURSELF. 425 00:15:54,214 --> 00:15:56,346 "DEAR FANNY, ONCE AGAIN, IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE WORKING 426 00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:59,175 WITH YOU ON THE 2012 JOFFREY SUMMER PROGRAM AUDITIONS 427 00:15:59,219 --> 00:16:01,699 FOR SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, AND WE HOPE THIS LETTER FINDS YOU WELL. 428 00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:04,180 WE WERE WONDERING IF YOU COULD PROVIDE AN UPDATE ON THE STATE 429 00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:06,008 OF THE WOOD FLOOR IN THE DANCE STUDIO. 430 00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:07,705 IT'S OUR LAST PIECE OF OUTSTANDING BUSINESS. 431 00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:10,186 IN ADVANCE, WE THANK YOU." ET CETERA, ET CETERA. 432 00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:12,058 I'M CONFUSED. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 433 00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:14,190 - WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? - WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 434 00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:16,192 - THEY JUST LOPPED MY HEAD OFF... - "GAME OF THRONES." 435 00:16:16,236 --> 00:16:18,194 - ...WITH NO WARNING. - NED-STARKED HER. 436 00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:20,718 I'M RE-READING. I SEE NOTHING ABOUT A HEAD, A GUILLOTINE, 437 00:16:20,762 --> 00:16:22,285 AN EVIL BOY KING WITH MOMMY ISSUES. 438 00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:23,286 I'M BEHIND HERE. 439 00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:25,245 THEY'VE CANCELLED ON ME. 440 00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:27,160 IT SAYS NOTHING ABOUT CANCELLATION! 441 00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:28,465 WELL, YOU DON'T SPEAK JOFFREY. 442 00:16:28,509 --> 00:16:30,032 THAT'S WHAT IT SAYS! 443 00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:32,252 I DISAGREE. TRULY, BE THE TIEBREAKER HERE. 444 00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:34,732 OH, NO. I'M NO GOOD AT BREAKING TIES. 445 00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,647 I'M GOOD AT BEING IN THE MAJORITY 446 00:16:36,691 --> 00:16:38,649 AFTER THE MAJORITY HAS ALREADY VOTED, 447 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:40,651 SO I CAN SEE WHICH WAY THINGS ARE GONNA GO. 448 00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:43,176 THAT'S... MY THING. 449 00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:45,700 12 YEARS I'VE HOSTED THESE AUDITIONS, 450 00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:48,181 ONLY TO BE JETTISONED LIKE A USED TIRE. 451 00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:49,312 DID I DESERVE THIS? 452 00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:50,226 - NO! - I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN NO. 453 00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:53,490 OF COURSE NOT. 454 00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:57,581 HEY, DO YOU DO CURTAINS? 455 00:16:59,279 --> 00:17:00,802 [ door shuts ] 456 00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:12,292 [ acoustic guitar music playing ] 457 00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:48,154 UH, UMM... [ sighs ] 458 00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:50,460 ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE. 459 00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:53,463 FRENCH, GERMAN, ASIAN LANGUAGE, 460 00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:56,118 CHINESE, SPANISH. WHERE'S ENGLISH? 461 00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:57,337 ENGLISH. 462 00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:01,341 - [ acoustic guitar music playing ] - ALL RIGHT. 463 00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:14,310 COME ON. 464 00:18:31,284 --> 00:18:32,894 [ sighs ] 465 00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:36,202 [ sighs ] 466 00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:38,160 YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS. 467 00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:40,293 THERE IS NO ENGLISH! THERE IS NO ENGLISH! 468 00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:42,382 [ groans ] 469 00:18:47,604 --> 00:18:49,519 - [ sighs ] - [ clatters ] 470 00:18:51,304 --> 00:18:54,785 Fanny: I HATE THAT YOU'RE GIVING ME THE RUNAROUND LIKE THIS. 471 00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:56,613 BECAUSE I'M GETTING THE RUNAROUND. 472 00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:59,616 THAT'S WHY I'M COMPLAINING ABOUT GETTING THE RUNAROUND. 473 00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,792 NOW, SWEETIE, SAYING YOU DON'T MEAN TO BE GIVING ME THE RUNAROUND 474 00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:03,620 DOESN'T MEAN IT'S NOT HAPPENING. 475 00:19:03,664 --> 00:19:06,319 YOU SOUND YOUNG. HOW YOUNG ARE YOU? 476 00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:07,624 19? 477 00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:09,713 AND YOU'RE LISA'S ASSISTANT? 478 00:19:09,757 --> 00:19:11,193 YOU'RE NOT LISA'S ASSISTANT. 479 00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:13,369 THEN WHO ARE YOU? 480 00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:14,892 I'M TALKING TO AN INTERN. 481 00:19:14,936 --> 00:19:17,199 WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE AN INTERN? 482 00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:19,723 NO, IDENTIFYING YOURSELF IS PART OF YOUR JOB, 483 00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:23,205 ALONG WITH SHARPENING PENCILS AND FETCHING FRAPPUCCINOS. 484 00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:25,729 NOW HAVE SOMEONE WHO'S AT LEAST TWO NOTCHES ABOVE YOU 485 00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:28,558 AND BORN IN THE LAST CENTURY, CALL ME BACK QUICKLY. 486 00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:29,951 PLEASE. GOODBYE. 487 00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:33,433 - SOUNDS TENSE. - WHAT DO YOU NEED? 488 00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:35,565 I JUST WANTED TO SNEAK IN AND GRAB THE TOOLBOX. 489 00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:37,263 I'M HAVING A LITTLE CURTAIN ROD TROUBLE. 490 00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:38,916 IT'S WHERE IT ALWAYS IS. 491 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,918 OH. BY THE WAY, I THINK I FIGURED OUT 492 00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:42,616 WHY SYLVIA PLATH KILLED HERSELF. 493 00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:44,618 SHE WAS TRYING TO HANG A CURTAIN ROD. 494 00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:46,446 SHE PROBABLY TRIED TO HANG HERSELF ON THE CURTAIN ROD, 495 00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:48,361 BUT IT BROKE, SO IT WAS ON TO PLAN B. 496 00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:51,712 SO, REALLY BAD CALL? 497 00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:53,931 IT'S OVER. JOFFREY'S MOVING THE AUDITIONS. 498 00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:55,237 YOU'RE KIDDING? WHERE? 499 00:19:55,281 --> 00:19:57,544 - OJAI. - OHIO? REALLY? 500 00:19:57,587 --> 00:19:59,546 NOT OHIO-- OJAI. 501 00:19:59,589 --> 00:20:02,549 IT'S THAT SLUM 30 MILES NORTH OF HERE. 502 00:20:02,592 --> 00:20:05,552 YOU CAN ALL GO. WE'VE DONE ENOUGH FOR TODAY. 503 00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:07,902 BUT WE NEVER EVEN STARTED. 504 00:20:07,945 --> 00:20:09,251 GO! 505 00:20:10,818 --> 00:20:12,950 IT'S THE KIDNAPPING CAPITAL OF CALIFORNIA. 506 00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,256 - WHAT IS? - OJAI. 507 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:15,605 THEY MISTREAT ANIMALS TOO. 508 00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:18,739 OH, THAT KELLY BREEN. THAT EVIL KELLY BREEN. 509 00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:21,568 - JOFFREY LADY? - OWNS THE DANCE STUDIO IN OJAI. 510 00:20:21,611 --> 00:20:23,570 SHE'S BEEN LOBBYING FOR THIS EVERY YEAR, 511 00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:25,267 AND SHE FINALLY GOT HER WAY. 512 00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:27,269 SHE ALMOST GOT IT LAST YEAR, BUT THEN THAT FLOOD HIT THEM 513 00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:29,315 AND ALL THOSE PEOPLE DIED, AND SO SHE LOST OUT. 514 00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:30,446 CLOSE CALL. 515 00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:32,274 IT WAS A CLOSE CALL. 516 00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:34,798 SO WAIT? OJAI. 517 00:20:34,842 --> 00:20:36,322 YOU KNOW, NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, 518 00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:37,975 I'VE HEARD REALLY GOOD THINGS ABOUT THAT PLACE. 519 00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:40,630 IMPOSSIBLE. IT'S DIRTY AND ALL THE PEOPLE ARE HIGH 520 00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:42,284 ON MUSHROOMS AND WEAR SANDALS. 521 00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:44,286 NO, ON TV. I SAW THIS WHOLE THING ABOUT IT 522 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,809 ON "SAMANTHA BROWN." 523 00:20:45,853 --> 00:20:47,811 OH, SHE WAS WALKING AROUND THIS GREAT SPA. 524 00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:51,293 GETTING SEAWEED WRAPS, PLAYING GOLF ON THIS GORGEOUS COURSE. 525 00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:53,817 AND AT PINK HOUR, THEY SERVED A GIANT PLATTER OF SHRIMP. 526 00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:55,297 I DON'T KNOW WHO THIS SAMANTHA BROWN IS, 527 00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:56,429 BUT SHE SOUNDS LIKE AN IDIOT. 528 00:20:56,472 --> 00:20:57,778 NO NO NO, SHE'S THIS EX-ACTRESS 529 00:20:57,821 --> 00:20:59,432 AND NOW SHE HAS THIS TRAVEL SHOW 530 00:20:59,475 --> 00:21:00,781 AND SHE GETS TO GO TO FUN PLACES. 531 00:21:00,824 --> 00:21:02,609 WELL, SHE'S OBVIOUSLY A VERY GOOD ACTRESS 532 00:21:02,652 --> 00:21:04,306 IF SHE MADE YOU BELIEVE SHE LIKED OJAI, 533 00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:05,481 BECAUSE OJAI IS A PIT! 534 00:21:05,525 --> 00:21:07,004 NO, SHE DOESN'T ACT ON HER SHOW, 535 00:21:07,048 --> 00:21:08,702 IT'S JUST HER WALKING AROUND PLACES. 536 00:21:08,745 --> 00:21:10,878 I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS WOMAN ANYMORE. 537 00:21:10,921 --> 00:21:12,358 OR OJAI. 538 00:21:12,401 --> 00:21:14,403 I THINK I'M MISSING SOMETHING HERE. 539 00:21:14,447 --> 00:21:15,883 THE GIRLS STILL GET TO AUDITION, RIGHT? 540 00:21:15,926 --> 00:21:17,537 OJAI'S NOT THAT FAR. 541 00:21:17,580 --> 00:21:18,886 OF COURSE THEY CAN AUDITION. 542 00:21:18,929 --> 00:21:20,888 I WON'T BE THERE, BUT THEY CAN BE. 543 00:21:20,931 --> 00:21:24,718 THEY WHY? WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT THAT THEY'RE HELD HERE? 544 00:21:24,761 --> 00:21:26,285 IT'S SO MUCH WORK. 545 00:21:26,328 --> 00:21:28,287 YOU REALLY DON'T GET IT, DO YOU? 546 00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:29,897 BUT I DO. 547 00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:31,420 ALL RIGHT, THE FLOOR IS A LITTLE FUNKY. 548 00:21:31,464 --> 00:21:33,379 THERE'S LOOSE BOARDS, IT NEEDS A SANDING, 549 00:21:33,422 --> 00:21:35,294 AND THEY WANT IT FIXED. SO IF YOU WANT 550 00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:36,730 THE AUDITIONS HERE SO DAMN MUCH, 551 00:21:36,773 --> 00:21:38,035 FIX THE DAMN FLOORS. 552 00:21:38,079 --> 00:21:39,689 OH. 553 00:21:39,733 --> 00:21:41,691 FIX IT! 554 00:21:41,735 --> 00:21:43,693 WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT? 555 00:21:43,737 --> 00:21:45,347 FIX THE FLOOR. 556 00:21:45,391 --> 00:21:47,393 PAY THE MONEY TO GET SOMEONE 557 00:21:47,436 --> 00:21:49,046 TO COME IN AND FIX THE FLOOR. 558 00:21:49,090 --> 00:21:51,048 - YES. - OKAY! 559 00:21:51,092 --> 00:21:54,051 WELL, I'LL JUST GO OUT BACK TO THE BARN 560 00:21:54,095 --> 00:21:55,879 AND GET MY GOOSE THAT LAYS THE GOLDEN EGGS 561 00:21:55,923 --> 00:21:57,881 AND I'LL SQUEEZE ONE OF THOSE LITTLE SUCKERS OUT OF HER-- 562 00:21:57,925 --> 00:21:59,666 ONE SHOULD DO IT. OR WAIT, 563 00:21:59,709 --> 00:22:01,145 HOW ABOUT THIS? 564 00:22:01,189 --> 00:22:03,713 I'LL WAIT FOR THE MAGICAL RAINBOW THAT WILL LEAD ME 565 00:22:03,757 --> 00:22:05,367 TO WHERE THE SPRIGHTLY ELF 566 00:22:05,411 --> 00:22:06,673 HAS HIDDEN THE POT OF GOLD. 567 00:22:06,716 --> 00:22:08,892 AND I'LL GRAB THOSE GOLD COINS 568 00:22:08,936 --> 00:22:10,546 AND WHATEVER OTHER TREASURE HE HAS-- 569 00:22:10,590 --> 00:22:12,374 MAYBE A CROWN OR SOME INGOTS-- 570 00:22:12,418 --> 00:22:14,376 AND THEN I'LL HAVE THE MONEY TO FIX THE FLOOR. 571 00:22:14,420 --> 00:22:17,423 I'M PICKING UP A WEE BIT OF SNARK HERE, 572 00:22:17,466 --> 00:22:18,728 SO I'M GOING TO TAKE MY TOOLBOX 573 00:22:18,772 --> 00:22:20,556 AND LEAVE YOU TO SPIRAL DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE 574 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,428 YOU'VE JUMPED INTO. SEND A POSTCARD! 575 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,136 GREAT. PERFECT. 576 00:22:36,137 --> 00:22:38,922 YOUR TIMING IS PERFECT! 577 00:22:38,966 --> 00:22:41,403 - GEEZ. - MY POINT SHOES ARE BROKEN. 578 00:22:41,447 --> 00:22:42,883 BROKEN. THERE'S NO WAY 579 00:22:42,926 --> 00:22:44,711 I'M GETTING THROUGH THE JOFFREY AUDITIONS. 580 00:22:44,754 --> 00:22:46,016 SO BUY ANOTHER PAIR. 581 00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:47,844 BUY ANOTHER PAIR. THAT'S GENIUS. 582 00:22:47,888 --> 00:22:50,586 A REALLY GENIUS IDEA. THANKS FOR THAT. 583 00:22:50,630 --> 00:22:52,849 - I JUST MEANT-- - IT DOESN'T MATTER. 584 00:22:52,893 --> 00:22:54,677 [ sighs ] JUST ASK YOUR MOM. 585 00:22:54,721 --> 00:22:57,506 MY MOM JUST BOUGHT ME THESE TWO MONTHS AGO. 586 00:22:57,550 --> 00:22:58,812 THERE'S NO WAY SHE'S GOING TO SPRING 587 00:22:58,855 --> 00:23:00,683 FOR A BRAND-NEW PAIR NOW. 588 00:23:00,727 --> 00:23:01,989 JUST FOR THE AUDITIONS? 589 00:23:02,032 --> 00:23:03,382 ESPECIALLY SINCE SHE THINKS 590 00:23:03,425 --> 00:23:04,731 THERE'S NO WAY I'M GETTING IN. 591 00:23:04,774 --> 00:23:06,602 - THAT'S NOT TRUE. - IT'S COMPLETELY TRUE! 592 00:23:06,646 --> 00:23:08,778 SHE THINKS I'M A LOSER, AND THAT I'M TOTALLY 593 00:23:08,822 --> 00:23:10,954 GONNA CRAP OUT ALONG WITH EVERYBODY ELSE IN THIS PLACE. 594 00:23:10,998 --> 00:23:12,782 - SHE DIDN'T SAY THAT. - SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO. 595 00:23:12,826 --> 00:23:14,784 - THE CAKE DID. - WHAT CAKE? 596 00:23:14,828 --> 00:23:16,569 THE CAKE IN THE FRIDGE WITH THE FROSTING THAT SAYS, 597 00:23:16,612 --> 00:23:17,874 "BETTER LUCK NEXT YEAR!" 598 00:23:17,918 --> 00:23:19,920 WITH A STUPID EXCLAMATION POINT AT THE END. 599 00:23:19,963 --> 00:23:21,965 SHE PROBABLY BUYS THEM IN BULK. 600 00:23:22,009 --> 00:23:23,445 LOOK, YOUR MOM IS JUST-- 601 00:23:23,489 --> 00:23:26,492 DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY MOM. 602 00:23:32,976 --> 00:23:34,717 WOW, TRULY. THESE CURTAINS-- THEY'RE GREAT. 603 00:23:34,761 --> 00:23:36,066 I'M HAPPY WITH THEM. 604 00:23:36,110 --> 00:23:38,460 I MEAN WE DIDN'T EVEN DISCUSS COLOR OR STYLE, 605 00:23:38,504 --> 00:23:39,809 BUT IT'S AS IF WE DID. 606 00:23:39,853 --> 00:23:40,984 THEY'RE EXACTLY WHAT I WANT. 607 00:23:41,028 --> 00:23:42,638 - I KNOW. - BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW? 608 00:23:42,682 --> 00:23:43,987 HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT? 609 00:23:44,031 --> 00:23:45,467 I'VE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO TELL EXACTLY 610 00:23:45,511 --> 00:23:47,034 WHAT EVERYBODY WANTS, EXCEPT FOR ME. 611 00:23:48,035 --> 00:23:49,645 WELL, THEY'RE PERFECT. 612 00:23:49,689 --> 00:23:51,473 REALLY. UNFORTUNATELY, HANGING THEM'S 613 00:23:51,517 --> 00:23:53,083 - OUT OF THE QUESTION. - WHY? 614 00:23:53,127 --> 00:23:55,999 AH, I HAD A LITTLE DISAGREEMENT WITH THE TENSION RODS. 615 00:23:56,043 --> 00:23:57,827 BIG EMPHASIS ON THE WORD "TENSION." 616 00:23:57,871 --> 00:23:59,481 I DON'T IF AL QAEDA HAS HEARD OF THESE THINGS, 617 00:23:59,525 --> 00:24:01,483 BUT MAILING ONE TO EVERY HOUSEHOLD IN AMERICA 618 00:24:01,527 --> 00:24:03,616 WOULD BRING US TO OUR KNEES. 619 00:24:03,659 --> 00:24:04,704 WHAT ARE THOSE? 620 00:24:05,922 --> 00:24:08,011 - CURTAIN RODS. - WOW, THEY'RE PERFECT. 621 00:24:08,055 --> 00:24:09,970 YOU REALLY DO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYONE 622 00:24:10,013 --> 00:24:11,580 EXCEPT YOURSELF. 623 00:24:11,624 --> 00:24:13,756 ANYTHING YOU NEED ME TO HELP YOU OUT WITH, 624 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,759 OR IF YOU NEED ME TO BE NURSE JACKIE WITH THE TOOLS, 625 00:24:16,803 --> 00:24:18,457 PASSING THEM UP TO YOU, I'M AT THE READY. 626 00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:20,546 COULD YOU GET ME A PEN SO I CAN MARK FOR A SCREW? 627 00:24:20,589 --> 00:24:23,026 ABSOLUTELY. PEN PEN PEN PEN PEN PEN 628 00:24:23,070 --> 00:24:24,854 PEN PEN PEN PEN PEN PEN. 629 00:24:24,898 --> 00:24:26,508 I DO NOT HAVE A PEN. 630 00:24:26,552 --> 00:24:28,728 THEY ALL GOT LOST IN THE GREAT VEGAS FURNITURE ONSLAUGHT 631 00:24:28,771 --> 00:24:30,556 OF 2012. 632 00:24:30,599 --> 00:24:31,948 - I'LL MAKE DO. - YEAH. 633 00:24:37,084 --> 00:24:38,868 SO HOW'S THAT FANNY DOING? 634 00:24:38,912 --> 00:24:40,783 YOU UNLUCKY ENOUGH TO GET IN HER PATH LATELY? 635 00:24:40,827 --> 00:24:42,481 - I HAVEN'T SEEN HER. - WELL, I HAVE, 636 00:24:42,524 --> 00:24:43,525 AND MY EARS ARE STILL RINGING. 637 00:24:43,569 --> 00:24:45,135 SHE LOST HER MIND IN THE STUDIO. 638 00:24:45,179 --> 00:24:47,790 - IT WAS CRAZY. - SHE'S DEFINITELY ON EDGE THESE DAYS. 639 00:24:47,834 --> 00:24:49,966 I KNOW, BUT I'M WONDERING IF SHE HASN'T 640 00:24:50,010 --> 00:24:51,968 LOST PERSPECTIVE ON ALL THIS. 641 00:24:52,012 --> 00:24:53,100 CAN YOU PASS ME THE PHILLIPS HEAD. 642 00:24:53,143 --> 00:24:54,623 UH, SURE. 643 00:24:54,667 --> 00:24:56,930 I MEAN SHE'S HOSTED THEM FOR SO MANY YEARS. 644 00:24:56,973 --> 00:24:58,932 SHE'S DONE IT. IT'S TIME TO RELAX. 645 00:24:58,975 --> 00:25:00,020 DO YOU KNOW WHICH ONE THE PHILLIPS HEAD IS? 646 00:25:00,063 --> 00:25:02,196 UH, YEAH. IT'S THE-- 647 00:25:02,239 --> 00:25:05,547 - NO. - JUST BRING ME WHAT YOU FIND. 648 00:25:05,591 --> 00:25:07,027 PLUS THE MONEY. I MEAN, SHE PAYS 649 00:25:07,070 --> 00:25:08,898 FOR ALL THESE IMPROVEMENTS ON THE PROPERTY, 650 00:25:08,942 --> 00:25:10,770 SO SHE'S ACTUALLY LOSING MONEY ON THE THING. 651 00:25:10,813 --> 00:25:12,075 FLATHEAD. PHILLIPS HEAD. 652 00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:13,033 - WHO'S PHILLIP? - I DON'T KNOW. 653 00:25:13,076 --> 00:25:15,078 AND HEY, 654 00:25:15,122 --> 00:25:17,559 BOTTOM LINE-- IT'S ABOUT THE GIRLS. 655 00:25:17,603 --> 00:25:18,778 THIS IS FOR THEM. 656 00:25:18,821 --> 00:25:21,041 CAN I JUST SAY SOMETHING ABOUT ALL OF THIS? 657 00:25:21,084 --> 00:25:24,044 - YES. PLEASE. - YOU KNOW FANNY'S STORY, RIGHT? 658 00:25:24,087 --> 00:25:25,088 THE GIST OF IT. 659 00:25:26,612 --> 00:25:28,004 FANNY STARTED DANCING AT FOUR. 660 00:25:28,048 --> 00:25:29,789 SHE WAS EN POINTE AT AGE 9, 661 00:25:29,832 --> 00:25:31,965 WON HER FIRST DANCE COMPETITION AT AGE 10. 662 00:25:32,008 --> 00:25:34,968 SHE WAS INVITED TO DANCE AT BALLET DE RUSSE DE MONTE CARLO AT AGE 16. 663 00:25:35,011 --> 00:25:36,883 FANNY WAS A PROFESSIONAL AT AN AGE 664 00:25:36,926 --> 00:25:38,058 WHERE YOU AND I WERE MASTERING THE CURLING IRON 665 00:25:38,101 --> 00:25:39,929 AND WRITING FAN LETTERS TO JASON PRIESTLY. 666 00:25:39,973 --> 00:25:41,191 - HE WAS HANDSOME. - HE STILL IS. 667 00:25:41,235 --> 00:25:43,063 - YEAH. - FANNY COULD HAVE GONE 668 00:25:43,106 --> 00:25:44,586 ANYWHERE SHE WANTED TO GO, 669 00:25:44,630 --> 00:25:45,674 THEN SHE FELL IN LOVE. 670 00:25:45,718 --> 00:25:46,980 GOT PREGNANT. 671 00:25:47,023 --> 00:25:48,851 SHE WAS GONNA GO BACK, BUT SHE NEVER DID. 672 00:25:48,895 --> 00:25:50,853 SHE GAVE IT UP, SO... 673 00:25:50,897 --> 00:25:53,029 THIS STUDIO, THESE GIRLS, 674 00:25:53,073 --> 00:25:55,031 HER TEACHING, HER BUSINESS, 675 00:25:55,075 --> 00:25:57,686 HER REPUTATION-- 676 00:25:57,730 --> 00:25:58,905 THIS IS ALL SHE HAS. 677 00:26:00,863 --> 00:26:02,299 YEAH. 678 00:26:02,343 --> 00:26:03,910 I GUESS SO. 679 00:26:05,346 --> 00:26:07,957 [ sighs deeply ] I TOOK A BIG CHUNK OF MY BLUE PAINT OUT 680 00:26:08,001 --> 00:26:09,916 WHEN I WAS TRYING TO PUT THE TENSION ROD UP, 681 00:26:09,959 --> 00:26:12,092 SO I'LL NEED TO GET SOME TO MATCH. 682 00:26:12,135 --> 00:26:13,136 YOU ARE GOOD. 683 00:26:17,314 --> 00:26:20,143 - [ crickets chirping ] - [ shower running ] 684 00:26:21,884 --> 00:26:22,885 MOM. 685 00:26:32,852 --> 00:26:34,027 [ water stops ] 686 00:26:38,248 --> 00:26:40,250 [ door opens ] 687 00:26:41,861 --> 00:26:43,166 [ door closes ] 688 00:26:48,041 --> 00:26:49,346 HI. I'M MICHELLE SIMMS. 689 00:26:54,047 --> 00:26:56,049 [ piano music playing ] 690 00:27:01,010 --> 00:27:02,925 ♪ ME AND MY BABY 691 00:27:02,969 --> 00:27:04,884 ♪ MY BABY AND ME 692 00:27:04,927 --> 00:27:08,191 ♪ WE'RE 'BOUT AS HAPPY AS BABIES CAN BE ♪ 693 00:27:08,235 --> 00:27:10,280 ♪ WHAT IF I FIND THAT 694 00:27:10,324 --> 00:27:12,282 ♪ I'M CAUGHT IN A STORM? 695 00:27:12,326 --> 00:27:14,154 ♪ I DON'T CARE, IF BABY'S THERE ♪ 696 00:27:14,197 --> 00:27:16,156 ♪ THEN BABY'S BOUND TO KEEP ME WARM ♪ 697 00:27:16,199 --> 00:27:17,984 ♪ WE'RE STICKING TOGETHER 698 00:27:18,027 --> 00:27:19,986 ♪ AND AIN'T WE GOT FUN? 699 00:27:20,029 --> 00:27:21,770 ♪ SO MUCH TOGETHER 700 00:27:21,814 --> 00:27:23,729 ♪ THEY COUNT US AS ONE 701 00:27:23,772 --> 00:27:25,382 ♪ TELL OLD MAN WORRY 702 00:27:25,426 --> 00:27:27,254 ♪ TO GO CLIMB A TREE 703 00:27:27,297 --> 00:27:29,256 ♪ 'CAUSE I GOT MY BABY 704 00:27:29,299 --> 00:27:31,171 ♪ MY SWEET LITTLE BABY 705 00:27:31,214 --> 00:27:33,913 ♪ LOOK AT MY BABY AND ME. 706 00:27:35,392 --> 00:27:37,177 - [ music stops ] - [ panting ] 707 00:27:37,220 --> 00:27:40,180 [ papers shuffling ] 708 00:27:40,223 --> 00:27:41,921 YOU WANT ME TO DO IT AGAIN? 709 00:27:43,226 --> 00:27:44,184 NO. 710 00:27:44,227 --> 00:27:45,751 [ gasps ] 711 00:28:06,206 --> 00:28:08,208 [ acoustic guitar music playing ] 712 00:29:16,363 --> 00:29:18,321 - Man: GOOD TO SEE YOU. - Woman: YEAH, YOU TOO. 713 00:29:18,365 --> 00:29:19,366 WE'LL DO IT AGAIN. 714 00:29:21,368 --> 00:29:22,325 [ bells chiming ] 715 00:29:22,369 --> 00:29:24,806 AH. HEY, I LOVE THAT. 716 00:29:24,850 --> 00:29:26,329 YOU HAVE ONE OF THOSE WELCOME BELLS. 717 00:29:26,373 --> 00:29:27,766 VERY MAYBERRY. 718 00:29:27,809 --> 00:29:28,810 CAN WE HELP YOU? 719 00:29:28,854 --> 00:29:30,899 YES. HI, MY NAME IS MICHELLE. 720 00:29:31,944 --> 00:29:33,380 - BOB. - DON. 721 00:29:33,423 --> 00:29:35,208 BOB AND DON. NICE TO MEET YOU. 722 00:29:35,251 --> 00:29:37,079 SO I AM NEW IN TOWN. 723 00:29:37,123 --> 00:29:38,907 I MOVED HERE ABOUT A MONTH AGO OR SO. 724 00:29:38,951 --> 00:29:40,909 AND I'M AT THE FLOWERS PLACE ON FORSTER. 725 00:29:40,953 --> 00:29:42,781 - DO YOU KNOW IT? - SURE. FANNY'S PLACE. 726 00:29:42,824 --> 00:29:44,434 RIGHT. FANNY'S PLACE. 727 00:29:44,478 --> 00:29:46,393 AND SO NOW I'M THERE WITH FANNY, 728 00:29:46,436 --> 00:29:48,090 AND SHE HAS THAT DANCE STUDIO. 729 00:29:48,134 --> 00:29:49,178 AND THERE'S AN EVENT COMING UP 730 00:29:49,222 --> 00:29:50,963 FOR WHICH WE NEED YOUR EXPERTISE. 731 00:29:51,006 --> 00:29:52,312 MY NIECE TAKES CLASSES THERE. 732 00:29:52,355 --> 00:29:53,835 - KATRINA. - NICE. 733 00:29:53,879 --> 00:29:55,271 DON'T KNOW HER. BUT THERE'S A CONNECTION HERE. 734 00:29:55,315 --> 00:29:57,273 THAT'S GOOD. SO THE EVENT 735 00:29:57,317 --> 00:30:00,450 IS THE PRESTIGIOUS JOFFREY SUMMER PROGRAM AUDITIONS, 736 00:30:00,494 --> 00:30:02,148 AND WE NEED HELP WITH OUR DANCE FLOOR. 737 00:30:02,191 --> 00:30:03,323 WE'RE GOT SOME LOOSE BOARDS, 738 00:30:03,366 --> 00:30:04,324 IT NEEDS A SANDING, BUFFING. 739 00:30:04,367 --> 00:30:05,847 AND ACCORDING TO YOUR WEBSITE, 740 00:30:05,891 --> 00:30:07,240 YOU OFFER THOSE SERVICES. 741 00:30:07,283 --> 00:30:08,676 WE'RE AT YOUR DISPOSAL. 742 00:30:08,719 --> 00:30:10,286 YEAH, WE CAN GET A COUPLE GUYS OUT THERE IN AN HOUR. 743 00:30:10,330 --> 00:30:12,245 - WHEN DO YOU NEED 'EM? - NOW. YESTERDAY. 744 00:30:12,288 --> 00:30:13,899 THIS IS GREAT. THANK YOU. 745 00:30:13,942 --> 00:30:16,075 WE'LL JUST COME OUT AND ASSESS EVERYTHING FIRST. 746 00:30:16,118 --> 00:30:18,077 AND THEN WE JUST NEED 50% UP FRONT, 747 00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:21,428 - AND WE CAN GET STARTED. - AH, THERE'S THE RUB. 748 00:30:21,471 --> 00:30:23,299 WE DON'T HAVE THE 50% RIGHT NOW. 749 00:30:23,343 --> 00:30:25,475 AH WELL. THAT COULD BE A PROBLEM. 750 00:30:25,519 --> 00:30:28,174 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME A BALLPARK FIGURE 751 00:30:28,217 --> 00:30:29,349 OF WHAT THE COST IS? 752 00:30:29,392 --> 00:30:31,438 AND MAYBE WE DO HAVE THE 50%. 753 00:30:31,481 --> 00:30:32,831 WELL, LET'S SEE. 754 00:30:32,874 --> 00:30:35,442 UH, WE REPLACE EVEN JUST A FEW OF THE BOARDS, 755 00:30:35,485 --> 00:30:36,443 THE SANDING, THE WHOLE THING, 756 00:30:36,486 --> 00:30:38,227 THAT'S ABOUT 700 SQUARE FEET OR SO. 757 00:30:38,271 --> 00:30:39,402 I'D SAY EIGHT. 758 00:30:39,446 --> 00:30:40,577 AND DOING THE FINISH-- 759 00:30:40,621 --> 00:30:42,188 THE COATS AND ALL-- IT'LL BE AT LEAST 760 00:30:42,231 --> 00:30:44,103 - $2200. - OR MORE. 761 00:30:44,146 --> 00:30:45,408 YEAH, WE DON'T HAVE THE 50%. 762 00:30:45,452 --> 00:30:47,933 WE MIGHT HAVE 10% OF THE 50%. 763 00:30:47,976 --> 00:30:49,456 - WOULD THAT MAKE THIS HAPPEN? - I CAN'T DO IT. 764 00:30:49,499 --> 00:30:50,892 I GOTTA GET MY GUYS PAID. 765 00:30:50,936 --> 00:30:52,372 AND THE BALANCE IS DUE ON COMPLETION. 766 00:30:52,415 --> 00:30:55,288 SO YOU SHOULD KINDA HAVE 100% OF IT NOW. 767 00:30:55,331 --> 00:30:57,420 RIGHT. FAIR ENOUGH. FAIR ENOUGH. 768 00:30:57,464 --> 00:30:59,422 OH HEY! I DIDN'T THINK OF THIS BEFORE. 769 00:30:59,466 --> 00:31:00,859 DO YOU GUYS DO LAYAWAY? 770 00:31:00,902 --> 00:31:02,077 - UH-- - SEE, WHEN I WAS A KID, 771 00:31:02,121 --> 00:31:04,123 THERE WAS THIS STORE CALLED CONTEMPO CASUALS, 772 00:31:04,166 --> 00:31:06,952 AND YOU COULD PUT A REALLY CUTE OUTFIT ON LAYAWAY IN JUNE, 773 00:31:06,995 --> 00:31:08,475 FOR SAY, THREE MONTHS. AND AS LONG AS 774 00:31:08,518 --> 00:31:09,476 YOU DIDN'T GET FAT BY SEPTEMBER, 775 00:31:09,519 --> 00:31:10,869 YOU'D HAVE A REALLY CUTE OUTFIT. 776 00:31:10,912 --> 00:31:12,392 WHEN DO YOU PAY FOR THE OUTFIT? 777 00:31:12,435 --> 00:31:13,610 WHEN YOU PICK IT UP IN SEPTEMBER. 778 00:31:13,654 --> 00:31:15,308 - IT'S A FALL OUTFIT. - I'M NOT SURE HOW 779 00:31:15,351 --> 00:31:17,136 THAT CORRESPONDS TO US TO FIXING THAT FLOOR. 780 00:31:17,179 --> 00:31:19,138 YEAH, 'CAUSE WHEN WE FIX IT AND ARE DONE, 781 00:31:19,181 --> 00:31:21,488 IT'S THE SAME AS YOU PAYING FOR THE DRESS. 782 00:31:21,531 --> 00:31:23,098 YOU PAY WHEN YOU GET THE THING. 783 00:31:23,142 --> 00:31:24,447 THAT'S ONE WAY OF LOOKING AT IT. 784 00:31:24,491 --> 00:31:25,579 THE OTHER WAY OF LOOKING AT IT IS... 785 00:31:25,622 --> 00:31:27,059 IT'S FUN! 786 00:31:27,102 --> 00:31:28,364 SORRY. 787 00:31:28,408 --> 00:31:29,931 OKAY. 788 00:31:29,975 --> 00:31:31,933 I TOOK A SHOT. THANKS FOR YOUR TIME. 789 00:31:42,683 --> 00:31:44,467 - BOB, RIGHT? - YUP. 790 00:31:44,511 --> 00:31:46,034 BOB-- SHORT FOR ROBERT? 791 00:31:46,078 --> 00:31:48,036 IT'S A NICE, SOLID NAME. 792 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:49,516 I LIKE THIS VEST TOO. 793 00:31:49,559 --> 00:31:51,344 SAYS WORKIN' MAN. 794 00:31:51,387 --> 00:31:53,520 STRONG WORKIN' MAN. 795 00:31:53,563 --> 00:31:55,043 KNOWS HIS PHILLIPS HEADS. 796 00:31:55,087 --> 00:31:56,131 YOU NEED SOMETHING ELSE? 797 00:31:56,175 --> 00:31:57,437 YES. BOB, 798 00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,961 YOU ARE LOOKING AT A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS. 799 00:32:00,005 --> 00:32:02,094 SHE IS DESPERATELY IN NEED OF A KNIGHT 800 00:32:02,137 --> 00:32:03,573 TO COME AND RESCUE HER-- 801 00:32:03,617 --> 00:32:06,098 WHITE HORSE OPTIONAL. 802 00:32:06,141 --> 00:32:07,447 BE MY KNIGHT, BOB. 803 00:32:07,490 --> 00:32:09,275 I'M SORRY. WE CAN'T EXTEND CREDIT. 804 00:32:09,318 --> 00:32:10,319 NOTHING PERSONAL. 805 00:32:11,494 --> 00:32:13,496 YEAH, YEAH. I GET IT. 806 00:32:19,546 --> 00:32:20,982 DON, RIGHT? 807 00:32:21,026 --> 00:32:22,505 SHORT FOR DONALD. 808 00:32:22,549 --> 00:32:23,506 DONICK, ACTUALLY. 809 00:32:23,550 --> 00:32:25,508 EVEN BETTER. 810 00:32:25,552 --> 00:32:26,553 NO VEST FOR YOU, HUH? 811 00:32:26,596 --> 00:32:28,598 - WE CAN'T HELP YOU. - OKAY. 812 00:32:31,645 --> 00:32:33,690 SO... 813 00:32:33,734 --> 00:32:35,649 NO ONE WANTS TO DO ME OR YOUR FLOORS. 814 00:32:35,692 --> 00:32:38,391 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - IS THERE A LIBIDO ISSUE IN THIS AREA? 815 00:32:38,434 --> 00:32:39,392 HAS SOMETHING IN THE WATER 816 00:32:39,435 --> 00:32:40,828 KILLED OFF ALL THE TESTOSTERONE 817 00:32:40,871 --> 00:32:42,525 IN THE TOWN OF PARADISE? OR HAVE I VERY SUDDENLY LOST 818 00:32:42,569 --> 00:32:45,050 - ALL MY SKILLS TO SEDUCE? - WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO SEDUCE? 819 00:32:45,093 --> 00:32:46,573 - THE HARDWARE STORE GUYS. - BOB AND DON? 820 00:32:46,616 --> 00:32:48,531 - YES. - FAT BOB AND SKINNY DON? 821 00:32:48,575 --> 00:32:49,619 BOB HAD A TUMMY, YES. 822 00:32:49,663 --> 00:32:51,708 - BOB AND DON?! - BOB AND DON, YES! 823 00:32:51,752 --> 00:32:54,015 - FOR SEX? - NO! TO DO OUR FLOORS. 824 00:32:54,059 --> 00:32:56,365 I STRUTTED MY STUFF A LITTLE BIT TO GET THEM TO DO IT ON LAYAWAY 825 00:32:56,409 --> 00:32:58,454 LIKE CONTEMPO CASUALS, AND THEY TURNED THEIR BACKS. 826 00:32:58,498 --> 00:33:00,282 WILL I EVER BE ABLE TO GO IN THAT STORE AGAIN? 827 00:33:00,326 --> 00:33:01,501 I'D GIVE IT SOME TIME. 828 00:33:03,068 --> 00:33:05,026 THIS IS A WEIRD-ASS CHAIR. 829 00:33:05,070 --> 00:33:07,550 WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY INVOLVING YOURSELF WITH MY FLOORS? 830 00:33:07,594 --> 00:33:08,638 BECAUSE I'VE MADE IT MY MISSION. 831 00:33:08,682 --> 00:33:10,031 AND WHEN I MAKE SOMETHING MY MISSION, 832 00:33:10,075 --> 00:33:12,033 I DON'T REST UNTIL IT'S MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. 833 00:33:12,077 --> 00:33:13,513 I'M GOING TO GET THOSE FLOORS FIXED. 834 00:33:13,556 --> 00:33:15,123 I'M GOING TO GET THE AUDITIONS BACK. 835 00:33:15,167 --> 00:33:17,299 - IT'S TOO LATE. - IT'S NOT TOO LATE. 836 00:33:17,343 --> 00:33:20,563 FIX THE FLOORS, SHOW JOFFREY THE OJAI STATS ON ANIMAL ABUSE, 837 00:33:20,607 --> 00:33:22,130 AND MUSHROOM CONSUMPTION. WE'LL GET 'EM BACK! 838 00:33:22,174 --> 00:33:24,437 - I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY-- - I DID SOME RESEARCH. 839 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,092 I FOUND AN INTERNET CAFE, WENT ONLINE, FOUND A TOWN-- 840 00:33:27,135 --> 00:33:28,615 A BIGGER TOWN NORTH OF HERE 841 00:33:28,658 --> 00:33:30,573 WITH MULTIPLE RESOURCES FOR FIXING A DANCE FLOOR. 842 00:33:30,617 --> 00:33:32,488 FRIENDLY-LOOKING GUYS FEATURED IN THE ADS. 843 00:33:32,532 --> 00:33:33,620 CAN'T TELL HOW HORNY THEY ARE, 844 00:33:33,663 --> 00:33:34,708 BUT I'LL FIND OUT WHEN I GET THERE! 845 00:33:34,751 --> 00:33:36,623 - WHAT TOWN? - OH, IT'S A WEIRD NAME, 846 00:33:36,666 --> 00:33:39,147 LIKE A JOKE NAME-- ALMOST A DIRTY NAME. 847 00:33:39,191 --> 00:33:40,366 OXNARD. 848 00:33:40,409 --> 00:33:42,411 NOW GET IN THE CAR. WE'RE DRIVING TO OXNARD. 849 00:33:42,455 --> 00:33:44,413 I'VE SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE AVOIDING OXNARD. 850 00:33:44,457 --> 00:33:46,111 - SO YOU KNOW IT? - OF COURSE I KNOW IT. 851 00:33:46,154 --> 00:33:49,114 WELL, WE ARE BOTH OXNARD-BOUND AND I AM WILLING TO FLIRT 852 00:33:49,157 --> 00:33:52,160 WITH MULTIPLE OXNARDIANS, BECAUSE JOFFREY'S NOT GOING TO OJAI! 853 00:33:52,204 --> 00:33:53,466 TIMES A WASTIN.' 854 00:33:53,509 --> 00:33:55,511 - THIS IS RIDICULOUS. - I'M ON A MISSION. 855 00:34:06,131 --> 00:34:07,262 WHAT ARE THESE? 856 00:34:07,306 --> 00:34:08,611 MY LAME DAD GOT THEM FOR ME. 857 00:34:08,655 --> 00:34:09,786 THEY'RE TOTALLY WRONG, AND I JUST THOUGHT 858 00:34:09,830 --> 00:34:11,136 MAYBE YOU'D WANT THEM. 859 00:34:11,179 --> 00:34:12,267 OH MY GOD. THEY'RE BRAND-NEW. 860 00:34:12,311 --> 00:34:13,616 I NEVER WORE THEM. 861 00:34:13,660 --> 00:34:15,618 - THEY'RE MY SIZE. - YEAH, HE'S AN IDIOT. 862 00:34:15,662 --> 00:34:16,532 HE BOUGHT THEM WAY TOO BIG. 863 00:34:16,576 --> 00:34:18,099 THREE SIZES TOO BIG? 864 00:34:18,143 --> 00:34:19,448 YEAH, THAT'S THE THING, RIGHT? I MEAN, WHAT? 865 00:34:19,492 --> 00:34:20,667 HE'S WALKING DOWN AN AISLE OF DANCEWEAR 866 00:34:20,710 --> 00:34:22,277 AND HE HAS A STROKE OR SOMETHING? 867 00:34:22,321 --> 00:34:23,626 BUT YOUR DAD BUYS EVERYTHING FOR YOU. 868 00:34:23,670 --> 00:34:25,063 - WHY WOULD HE SUDDEN-- - LOOK, THROW THEM OUT, 869 00:34:25,106 --> 00:34:26,107 SET 'EM ON FIRE, WHATEVER. 870 00:34:26,151 --> 00:34:27,674 I JUST DON'T NEED 'EM, OKAY? 871 00:34:36,161 --> 00:34:38,641 - ALMOST THERE. - GOOD. 872 00:34:38,685 --> 00:34:41,122 BEST VIEW OF OXNARD IS IN THE REARVIEW MIRROR. 873 00:34:41,166 --> 00:34:42,602 AH, YOU SHOULD TWEET THAT. 874 00:34:42,645 --> 00:34:43,777 I DON'T DO THAT. 875 00:34:43,820 --> 00:34:44,778 ME NEITHER. 876 00:34:44,821 --> 00:34:46,301 I DO. 877 00:34:46,345 --> 00:34:47,346 YOU TWEET? 878 00:34:47,389 --> 00:34:48,825 THAT'S SURPRISING TO ME. 879 00:34:48,869 --> 00:34:50,653 YEAH, IT'S A GOOD WAY TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH FAMILY. 880 00:34:50,697 --> 00:34:53,830 YOU KNOW, KEEP 'EM POSTED ON YOUR COMINGS AND GOINGS. 881 00:34:53,874 --> 00:34:55,354 RIGHT. 882 00:34:55,397 --> 00:34:56,442 I USUALLY THINK OF IT 883 00:34:56,485 --> 00:34:58,139 AS JUST SOMETHING CELEBRITIES DO. 884 00:34:58,183 --> 00:35:00,141 - [ man chuckles ] - MAKES SENSE THOUGH. 885 00:35:00,185 --> 00:35:02,491 OKAY. THIS IS IT. 886 00:35:07,757 --> 00:35:10,108 WOW, NICE SPACE. 887 00:35:10,151 --> 00:35:11,326 THERE'S THE WOOD YOU ORDERED, 888 00:35:11,370 --> 00:35:12,675 ALL STACKED UP. 889 00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:14,677 THERE'S A BATHROOM UPSTAIRS. 890 00:35:14,721 --> 00:35:16,679 I'LL BRING SOME SODA AND SNACKS OUT FOR YOU. 891 00:35:16,723 --> 00:35:18,377 I'LL GET STARTED RIGHT NOW. 892 00:35:20,683 --> 00:35:22,337 THIS IS WEIRD. 893 00:35:22,381 --> 00:35:24,339 - WHY? HE'S QUALIFIED. - WE DON'T EVEN KNOW HIS NAME. 894 00:35:24,383 --> 00:35:26,167 - FLOYD. IT'S FLOYD. - LAST NAME? 895 00:35:26,211 --> 00:35:28,343 HE SAID IT AT ONE POINT-- PRELUTSKY OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 896 00:35:28,387 --> 00:35:29,692 OKAY. WE'RE FINE VETTERS. 897 00:35:29,736 --> 00:35:30,693 THEY SHOULD PUT US IN CHARGE OF FINDING 898 00:35:30,737 --> 00:35:32,173 VICE-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES. 899 00:35:32,217 --> 00:35:33,522 WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW HIS LAST NAME. 900 00:35:33,566 --> 00:35:34,697 HE WAS JUST SO AVAILABLE. 901 00:35:34,741 --> 00:35:35,959 I DON'T LIKE THAT. 902 00:35:36,003 --> 00:35:37,526 OH, IS THAT HOW YOU JUDGE THINGS LIKE THIS? 903 00:35:37,570 --> 00:35:39,180 IF PEOPLE ARE WILLING TO DO WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO DO, 904 00:35:39,224 --> 00:35:40,529 - THEN YOU DON'T WANT THEM? - NO. 905 00:35:40,573 --> 00:35:41,704 IT'S JUST HE WAS OUR FOURTH CHOICE. 906 00:35:41,748 --> 00:35:42,879 WHAT IS IT WITH FLOOR GUYS? 907 00:35:42,923 --> 00:35:44,185 THEY DON'T LIKE YOU, THAT'S FOR SURE. 908 00:35:44,229 --> 00:35:45,708 I THINK IT'S THE CALIFORNIA COAST. 909 00:35:45,752 --> 00:35:47,710 FOR SOME REASON, I'M NOT HOT IN CALIFORNIA. 910 00:35:47,754 --> 00:35:50,539 ESPECIALLY OXNARD. UGH. OXNARD. 911 00:35:50,583 --> 00:35:51,714 TOLD YOU. 912 00:35:51,758 --> 00:35:53,716 SO HOW MUCH IS FLOYD GETTING? 913 00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:57,372 NOTHING. WE TALKED AND HE'S GONNA LET ME PAY HIM LATER. 914 00:35:57,416 --> 00:36:00,158 DID YOU SEDUCE HIM, MRS. ROBINSON? 915 00:36:00,201 --> 00:36:02,160 - TO DO A DEGREE. - COO COO CA CHOO. 916 00:36:02,203 --> 00:36:03,552 IT'S NOT LIKE THAT. 917 00:36:03,596 --> 00:36:05,206 WHAT IS FLOYD EXPECTING? 918 00:36:05,250 --> 00:36:06,555 TO FIX THE FLOORS, SLEEP ON OUR COT 919 00:36:06,599 --> 00:36:08,688 AND LEAVE IN THE MORNING-- NOTHING ELSE. 920 00:36:08,731 --> 00:36:10,690 OKAY. GOT IT. 921 00:36:10,733 --> 00:36:11,952 SLEEP WITH A BASEBALL BAT. 922 00:36:11,995 --> 00:36:13,736 YOUNG LADY, WHEN YOU GET TO BE MY AGE, 923 00:36:13,780 --> 00:36:16,609 YOU KNOW HOW TO LEAD A MAN ON, GET HIM TO DO WHAT YOU WANT, 924 00:36:16,652 --> 00:36:18,741 GIVE HIM NOTHING AND SEND HIM CRYING BACK TO HIS WIFE. 925 00:36:18,785 --> 00:36:21,744 OKAY. JUST... BE SAFE. 926 00:36:21,788 --> 00:36:23,442 AS LONG AS HE DOES THE FLOORS. 927 00:36:23,485 --> 00:36:24,660 AND NOT YOU. 928 00:36:30,449 --> 00:36:32,277 GOOD MORNING, LISA! 929 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:33,582 FANNY! 930 00:36:33,626 --> 00:36:34,931 LISA FROM THE JOFFREY. 931 00:36:34,975 --> 00:36:37,412 - AH, NICE TO MEET YOU. - LIKEWISE. 932 00:36:37,456 --> 00:36:38,457 THE FLOORS LOOK WONDERFUL. 933 00:36:38,500 --> 00:36:39,936 I WAS GOING TO FAX YOU ABOUT IT. 934 00:36:39,980 --> 00:36:41,373 - THANK YOU. - A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO, 935 00:36:41,416 --> 00:36:43,723 I HAD TO FAX THE STUDIO IN OJAI 936 00:36:43,766 --> 00:36:45,377 WITH THE NEWS WE WEREN'T COMING. 937 00:36:45,420 --> 00:36:46,900 THEY FAXED BACK THAT THEY WERE DISAPPOINTED. 938 00:36:46,943 --> 00:36:47,901 THAT'S TOO BAD. 939 00:36:47,944 --> 00:36:49,032 WELL, TIME TO GET STARTED. 940 00:36:49,076 --> 00:36:50,338 LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE A GOOD GROUP HERE. 941 00:36:50,382 --> 00:36:52,340 BYE. 942 00:36:52,384 --> 00:36:54,647 SHE SAID BYE. SURPRISED SHE DIDN'T FAX IT. 943 00:36:54,690 --> 00:36:56,301 I NEVER DOUBTED THEY'D WANT TO BE HERE. 944 00:36:56,344 --> 00:36:58,216 OH, RIGHT. YEAH, NOT FOR A MOMENT. 945 00:36:58,259 --> 00:37:01,219 Lisa: GATHER AROUND, EVERYBODY, PLEASE. 946 00:37:01,262 --> 00:37:03,351 GATHER AROUND. 947 00:37:03,395 --> 00:37:06,485 GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE. WELCOME TO THE 2012 948 00:37:06,528 --> 00:37:09,227 JOFFREY SUMMER PROGRAM AUDITIONS. 949 00:37:09,270 --> 00:37:11,403 WE'RE GOING TO GET STARTED IN JUST A MINUTE. 950 00:37:11,446 --> 00:37:12,578 LISTEN FOR YOUR NUMBERS, PLEASE. 951 00:37:12,621 --> 00:37:14,275 AND GOOD LUCK. 952 00:37:14,319 --> 00:37:16,495 - [ guitar music playing ] - [ woman vocalizing ] 953 00:37:18,366 --> 00:37:20,368 Lisa: ALL RIGHT, THIS IS TO CONFIRM THE PEOPLE 954 00:37:20,412 --> 00:37:22,544 IN MY FIRST GROUP. 955 00:37:22,588 --> 00:37:25,417 NUMBER 23, WARDEN. 956 00:37:25,460 --> 00:37:28,289 NUMBER 18, CONNELY. 957 00:37:28,333 --> 00:37:30,900 NUMBER 26, WAGGEMAN. 958 00:37:30,944 --> 00:37:33,729 NUMBER 16, JORDAN. 959 00:37:33,773 --> 00:37:35,427 NUMBER 62-- 960 00:37:35,470 --> 00:37:37,429 ALL RIGHT, FRONT ROW SEATS. 961 00:37:38,691 --> 00:37:40,475 OOH, FIRST GROUP'S GOING IN. 962 00:37:40,519 --> 00:37:42,477 YOU GOT BOO AND SASHA IN THAT ONE. EXCITING. 963 00:37:42,521 --> 00:37:45,480 [ gasps ] HERE'S SOMETHING ELSE EXCITING. 964 00:37:45,524 --> 00:37:46,655 EXCELLENT. 965 00:37:46,699 --> 00:37:48,309 YOU KNOW... 966 00:37:48,353 --> 00:37:49,832 I FORGOT TO ASK YOU ABOUT FLOYD. 967 00:37:49,876 --> 00:37:52,313 - WHAT ABOUT HIM? - HE DID OKAY ON THE FLOOR. 968 00:37:52,357 --> 00:37:54,837 - OBVIOUSLY. - HE FIX ANYTHING ELSE? 969 00:37:54,881 --> 00:37:56,578 THERE'S NOTHING ELSE THAT NEEDED FIXING. 970 00:37:56,622 --> 00:38:00,016 WAXED EVERYTHING THAT NEEDED... WAXING? 971 00:38:00,060 --> 00:38:02,671 - HE SEEMED TO. - NEXT MORNING HE... 972 00:38:02,715 --> 00:38:05,674 - GOT OFF OKAY? - HE GOT OFF JUST FINE. 973 00:38:05,718 --> 00:38:07,328 - [ chuckles ] - WHAT? 974 00:38:07,372 --> 00:38:10,549 - YOU SAID "GOT OFF." - POUR THE WINE. 975 00:38:11,854 --> 00:38:14,422 [ sighs ] IT'S A BIG DAY FOR BOO, HUH? 976 00:38:14,466 --> 00:38:15,728 AND ALL OF THEM. 977 00:38:15,771 --> 00:38:17,730 THIS IS SUCH A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE-- 978 00:38:17,773 --> 00:38:19,732 JUST TO DANCE AND BE SEEN. 979 00:38:19,775 --> 00:38:21,299 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. 980 00:38:21,342 --> 00:38:22,909 IT ONLY MATTERS THAT THEY'RE HERE. 981 00:38:22,952 --> 00:38:24,084 I'LL DRINK TO THAT. 982 00:38:27,479 --> 00:38:28,610 BOO, WHAT HAPPENED? 983 00:38:28,654 --> 00:38:29,611 I GOT CUT. 984 00:38:29,655 --> 00:38:31,396 OH, HONEY, I'M SORRY. 985 00:38:31,439 --> 00:38:32,701 - IT'S OKAY. - NO, IT'S NOT. 986 00:38:32,745 --> 00:38:34,355 - RAYRAY, GET THE BOX. - ROGER! 987 00:38:34,399 --> 00:38:36,357 - REALLY? THE BOX? - WHAT BOX? 988 00:38:36,401 --> 00:38:37,445 - GET OVER HERE. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 989 00:38:37,489 --> 00:38:39,404 SHH. YOU'RE GOING BACK IN. 990 00:38:39,447 --> 00:38:40,405 SHE CAN'T JUST GO BACK IN. 991 00:38:40,448 --> 00:38:41,754 YEAH, FANNY. I WAS CUT. 992 00:38:41,797 --> 00:38:42,885 YOU WERE NOT CUT. 993 00:38:42,929 --> 00:38:44,887 NO ONE CUTS ONE OF MY GIRLS THAT FAST. 994 00:38:44,931 --> 00:38:46,715 - RayRay: GOT IT! - HURRY. 995 00:38:46,759 --> 00:38:48,891 WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS IT? 996 00:38:48,935 --> 00:38:50,719 AH, HERE IT IS. 997 00:38:50,763 --> 00:38:52,068 NOW DON'T FIGHT ME. 998 00:38:52,112 --> 00:38:53,548 - OW! - AH, SORRY. 999 00:38:53,592 --> 00:38:54,680 IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING? 1000 00:38:54,723 --> 00:38:56,899 THIS WAS MADE FOR A MUCH SMALLER HEAD. 1001 00:38:56,943 --> 00:38:59,902 IT WAS FOR SWAN HILDA IN MY 1996 "COPPELIA." 1002 00:38:59,946 --> 00:39:01,730 GIRL HAD A HEAD THE SIZE OF A PEANUT. 1003 00:39:01,774 --> 00:39:03,602 NOW YOU'RE TRINA FROM SIMI VALLEY 1004 00:39:03,645 --> 00:39:05,473 IF ANYONE ASKS. 1005 00:39:05,517 --> 00:39:07,519 SO GET IN THERE, AND SHOW THEM WHAT WHAT TRINA'S GOT. 1006 00:39:07,562 --> 00:39:08,694 TRINA, SIMI VALLEY-- GOT IT! 1007 00:39:10,043 --> 00:39:12,524 - BUT HOW DO YOU FIGURE? - MORE, PLEASE. 1008 00:39:12,567 --> 00:39:14,482 - BUT SHE-- - MORE, PLEASE. 1009 00:39:14,526 --> 00:39:16,354 HOLY HELL, WHAT'S WITH US? 1010 00:39:16,397 --> 00:39:19,008 THAT WAS CRAZY, WHAT YOU JUST DID WITH BOO THERE. I'M JUST SAYING. 1011 00:39:19,052 --> 00:39:21,663 IT'S NOT CRAZY. IT'S THE POINT OF BEING IN A COMPETITION. 1012 00:39:21,707 --> 00:39:23,709 - TO COMPETE. - BUT THEY HAD JUST SEEN HER. 1013 00:39:23,752 --> 00:39:25,058 - THEY DID NOT SEE HER. - THEY SAW HER. 1014 00:39:25,101 --> 00:39:27,408 - AND THEY CUT HER. - THEY DID NOT SEE HER. 1015 00:39:27,452 --> 00:39:29,062 - BOO? - WELL? 1016 00:39:29,105 --> 00:39:31,586 - TRINA GOT CUT. - OH HONEY, I'M SORRY. 1017 00:39:31,630 --> 00:39:34,415 - BUT YOU GAVE IT A GOOD-- - RAYRAY, GIVE ME YOUR LEGWARMERS. 1018 00:39:34,459 --> 00:39:35,677 - RayRay: COMING! - Michelle: YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. 1019 00:39:35,721 --> 00:39:36,809 GET THAT THING OFF YOUR HEAD. 1020 00:39:36,852 --> 00:39:38,506 THIS IS ASTONISHING! 1021 00:39:38,550 --> 00:39:39,638 OOH PRETTY DIRTY. 1022 00:39:39,681 --> 00:39:41,509 IF ANYONE ASKS, SAY YOU LIVE ON A FARM. 1023 00:39:41,553 --> 00:39:42,858 LEGWARMERS. 1024 00:39:42,902 --> 00:39:44,556 - PUT 'EM ON. - IT'S LIKE BEING BACKSTAGE 1025 00:39:44,599 --> 00:39:45,600 AT "THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW." 1026 00:39:45,644 --> 00:39:46,601 QUICK. GET IT INTO A BUN. 1027 00:39:46,645 --> 00:39:47,950 - ME? - YES. HURRY! 1028 00:39:47,994 --> 00:39:50,605 UH, WELL MAYBE SOMETHING OTHER THAN A BUN. 1029 00:39:50,649 --> 00:39:52,128 - LIKE WHAT? - LET'S DO A PONYTAIL. 1030 00:39:52,172 --> 00:39:53,608 JOFFREY DOESN'T LIKE PONYTAILS. 1031 00:39:53,652 --> 00:39:54,609 HOW DID I GET PULLED INTO THIS? 1032 00:39:54,653 --> 00:39:56,437 - JUST DO A BUN! - BUT A PONYTAIL 1033 00:39:56,481 --> 00:39:57,960 WILL MAKE HER REALLY STAND OUT. 1034 00:39:58,004 --> 00:39:59,266 I WENT TO AN AUDITION ONCE. 1035 00:39:59,309 --> 00:40:01,137 EVERYONE WAS IN A BUN, BUT I WAS IN A PONYTAIL. 1036 00:40:01,181 --> 00:40:02,617 AND PEOPLE WERE LIKE, "WHO'S THE GIRL IN THE PONYTAIL?" 1037 00:40:02,661 --> 00:40:04,140 - GOT ME THE JOB! - LET'S DO A PONYTAIL! 1038 00:40:04,184 --> 00:40:05,620 FINE. DO IT. 1039 00:40:05,664 --> 00:40:07,143 - YOUR NAME IS SELMA. - WHAT'S MY LAST NAME? 1040 00:40:07,187 --> 00:40:09,450 - ALABAMA? - JUST TELL THEM SELMA. 1041 00:40:09,494 --> 00:40:10,495 RUN RUN! 1042 00:40:12,192 --> 00:40:14,629 CRAZY TIMES FIVE. 1043 00:40:14,673 --> 00:40:16,457 YOU DON'T KNOW HOW AUDITIONS WORK. 1044 00:40:16,501 --> 00:40:18,633 YES, I DO. YOU DANCE FOR GARY JANETTI, 1045 00:40:18,677 --> 00:40:20,635 HE LOOKS UP, SAYS "NO," YOU'RE DONE. 1046 00:40:20,679 --> 00:40:22,071 - WHO? - NEVER MIND. 1047 00:40:22,115 --> 00:40:23,682 YOU REALLY DON'T GET IT, DO YOU? 1048 00:40:24,944 --> 00:40:27,163 - I GUESS NOT. - BOO IS NOT BEING SEEN. 1049 00:40:27,207 --> 00:40:28,991 - COME AGAIN? - WELL, LOOK AT ALL THE GIRLS 1050 00:40:29,035 --> 00:40:30,166 THAT SHE'S GONE IN WITH-- 1051 00:40:30,210 --> 00:40:31,646 STICK INSECTS WITH TINY LEGS 1052 00:40:31,690 --> 00:40:32,647 AND TINY BUTTS. 1053 00:40:32,691 --> 00:40:33,996 AND WHEN BOO COMES IN, 1054 00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:35,824 BEAUTIFUL AS SHE IS, ALL THEY SEE IS 1055 00:40:35,868 --> 00:40:37,478 HOW SHE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS, 1056 00:40:37,522 --> 00:40:38,827 SO THEY CUT HER. 1057 00:40:38,871 --> 00:40:41,177 BUT EVENTUALLY, IF SHE KEEPS GOING IN-- 1058 00:40:41,221 --> 00:40:43,528 AND I DON'T CARE HOW MANY TIMES IT TAKES-- 1059 00:40:43,571 --> 00:40:45,181 SHE WILL GET INTO A GROUP WITH SOMEONE 1060 00:40:45,225 --> 00:40:47,488 WHO HAS BIGGER LEGS AND A BIGGER BUTT, 1061 00:40:47,532 --> 00:40:49,055 AND THEN SHE WILL BE SEEN. 1062 00:40:49,098 --> 00:40:50,883 YOU'RE MAD. 1063 00:40:50,926 --> 00:40:52,885 BUT MAKING SENSE. MAYBE I'M MAD? 1064 00:40:52,928 --> 00:40:54,452 - GUESS WHAT? - WHAT? 1065 00:40:54,495 --> 00:40:55,801 - SELMA GOT CUT. - [ sighs ] DARN. 1066 00:40:55,844 --> 00:40:57,977 - FIND THE PLASTIC NOSE. - NO FANNY, IT'S FINE. 1067 00:40:58,020 --> 00:41:00,806 THEY THOUGHT I WAS DYNAMIC AND HAD GREAT FORM. 1068 00:41:00,849 --> 00:41:02,634 WELL, THEY THOUGHT TRINA HAD GREAT FORM, 1069 00:41:02,677 --> 00:41:04,157 AND SELMA WAS DYNAMIC. 1070 00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:05,637 THEY ONLY ONE THEY DIDN'T LIKE WAS ME. 1071 00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:06,812 YAY? 1072 00:41:06,855 --> 00:41:08,161 THEY ALSO SAID THAT I SHOULD 1073 00:41:08,204 --> 00:41:09,641 DEFINITELY TRY AGAIN NEXT YEAR, 1074 00:41:09,684 --> 00:41:11,686 'CAUSE THE UNDERDOG SLOT WAS ALREADY USED UP. 1075 00:41:11,730 --> 00:41:12,731 AWW. 1076 00:41:14,733 --> 00:41:16,604 YOU DONE GOOD, KIDDO. 1077 00:41:16,648 --> 00:41:18,476 THANKS. 1078 00:41:18,519 --> 00:41:19,781 I FOUETTED IN A WIG. 1079 00:41:21,566 --> 00:41:23,568 BOO, CAN I GET MY LEGWARMERS BACK? 1080 00:41:25,744 --> 00:41:28,094 NOW SHE HAS BEEN SEEN. 1081 00:41:32,533 --> 00:41:36,102 [ dancers chattering ] 1082 00:41:36,145 --> 00:41:38,539 SASHA? 1083 00:41:38,583 --> 00:41:39,540 HOW'D IT GO? 1084 00:41:39,584 --> 00:41:41,890 OKAY, I GUESS. 1085 00:41:41,934 --> 00:41:44,893 I BET YOU WERE GREAT. 1086 00:41:44,937 --> 00:41:48,593 SO, YOU WANNA COME OVER FOR SOME FAILURE CAKE? 1087 00:41:48,636 --> 00:41:50,899 YEAH. 1088 00:41:50,943 --> 00:41:53,685 BUT I KIND OF HAVE TO STAY AND FILL OUT SOME FORMS. 1089 00:41:53,728 --> 00:41:56,688 OH. 1090 00:41:56,731 --> 00:41:57,906 I'LL WAIT. 1091 00:42:06,741 --> 00:42:08,090 [ door opens ] 1092 00:42:10,310 --> 00:42:11,790 [ door closes ] 1093 00:42:16,664 --> 00:42:18,187 HI, I'M MICHELLE SIMMS. 1094 00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:23,802 [ piano music playing ] 1095 00:42:29,024 --> 00:42:30,809 ♪ ME AND MY BABY 1096 00:42:30,852 --> 00:42:32,811 ♪ MY BABY AND ME 1097 00:42:32,854 --> 00:42:34,682 ♪ WE'RE 'BOUT AS HAPPY 1098 00:42:34,726 --> 00:42:36,684 ♪ AS BABIES CAN BE 1099 00:42:36,728 --> 00:42:38,556 ♪ WHAT IF A FIND THAT 1100 00:42:38,599 --> 00:42:40,558 ♪ I'M CAUGHT IN A STORM? 1101 00:42:40,601 --> 00:42:42,168 ♪ I DON'T CARE, IF BABY'S THERE ♪ 1102 00:42:42,211 --> 00:42:43,996 ♪ THEN BABY'S BOUND TO KEEP ME WARM ♪ 1103 00:42:44,039 --> 00:42:45,824 ♪ WE'RE STICKING TOGETHER 1104 00:42:45,867 --> 00:42:48,000 ♪ AND AIN'T WE GOT FUN? 1105 00:42:48,043 --> 00:42:49,654 ♪ SO MUCH TOGETHER 1106 00:42:49,697 --> 00:42:51,656 ♪ THEY COUNT US AS ONE 1107 00:42:51,699 --> 00:42:53,571 ♪ TELL OLD MAN WORRY 1108 00:42:53,614 --> 00:42:55,573 ♪ TO GO CLIMB A TREE 1109 00:42:55,616 --> 00:42:57,183 ♪ 'CAUSE I GOT MY BABY 1110 00:42:57,226 --> 00:42:59,185 ♪ MY SWEET LITTLE BABY 1111 00:42:59,228 --> 00:43:00,665 ♪ LOOK AT MY BABY 1112 00:43:00,708 --> 00:43:04,669 ♪ AND ME! 1113 00:43:04,712 --> 00:43:06,714 - [ music stops ] - [ panting ] 1114 00:43:10,196 --> 00:43:12,024 HELLO? 1115 00:43:12,067 --> 00:43:13,242 IS THAT ALL RIGHT? 1116 00:43:17,682 --> 00:43:19,031 [ gasps ] 1117 00:43:24,166 --> 00:43:27,300 [ acoustic guitar music playing ] 1118 00:43:27,343 --> 00:43:29,345 [ woman vocalizing ] 1119 00:43:35,047 --> 00:43:37,049 [ crickets chirping ] 81140

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