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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:12,205 How's that? Is that good for you? 2 00:00:12,285 --> 00:00:14,325 Not really. You're just dry humping my leg. 3 00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:16,285 Okay, um, let's switch positions. 4 00:00:20,165 --> 00:00:22,125 What about this? 5 00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:24,005 Oh, leg cramp! 6 00:00:24,085 --> 00:00:28,845 Oh! Ooh! Okay. Oh, yeah. 7 00:00:28,925 --> 00:00:30,885 Oh! Oh! 8 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:32,565 Oh! 9 00:00:32,645 --> 00:00:34,205 Do you have to be so vigorous? 10 00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:35,645 Sex is meant to be vigorous. 11 00:00:36,045 --> 00:00:38,205 - Oh! - Okay, time out. Time out. 12 00:00:41,765 --> 00:00:44,605 Um... 13 00:00:44,685 --> 00:00:47,485 Do you want me to go down on you? Ruthie? 14 00:00:48,605 --> 00:00:50,605 Or we could watch Blue Planet? 15 00:00:50,685 --> 00:00:54,245 Okay. 16 00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:01,405 Well, the silky sharks are a beautiful shark. 17 00:01:01,485 --> 00:01:06,365 And what makes them even more fascinating is that there are thousands of them here. 18 00:01:19,045 --> 00:01:21,045 Minge! 19 00:01:21,125 --> 00:01:23,005 That's enough. 20 00:01:23,085 --> 00:01:24,661 Settle down. 21 00:02:04,485 --> 00:02:05,925 - Ah-ha! - Hey. 22 00:02:06,005 --> 00:02:07,765 - You're in love with Maeve. - What? 23 00:02:07,845 --> 00:02:09,925 - I'm not... I'm not in love. - Mm-hm. 24 00:02:10,045 --> 00:02:10,885 Don't be ridiculous. 25 00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,101 You’ve been glued to your phone for, like, three weeks, 26 00:02:13,125 --> 00:02:14,805 and every time she texts you, this happens. 27 00:02:14,845 --> 00:02:16,741 - What happens? Oh, sorry. - Watch it, breadstick. 28 00:02:16,765 --> 00:02:17,925 Okay. Have a nice day. 29 00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:21,565 This! You turn into smiley, happy cupcake Otis. It’s weird. 30 00:02:21,645 --> 00:02:23,205 I don't know what you're talking about. 31 00:02:23,285 --> 00:02:25,661 Maeve and I are work colleagues and we're friends. That’s it. 32 00:02:25,685 --> 00:02:28,485 - Yeah. Friends. - Boys and girls can be friends. 33 00:02:28,605 --> 00:02:30,765 Yeah, sure. Their genitals can be friends. 34 00:02:30,845 --> 00:02:33,005 I thought you said Maeve was with Jackson now, anyway. 35 00:02:33,085 --> 00:02:35,925 They're not with each other. They’re just, you know... 36 00:02:36,005 --> 00:02:38,805 Having super-hot, athletic, sweaty intercourse? 37 00:02:38,885 --> 00:02:40,405 - Casual sex. - Uh! Uh! 38 00:02:41,005 --> 00:02:43,085 You seem to know a lot about her relationship status. 39 00:02:43,165 --> 00:02:45,805 Yes, because we're friends and friends share things. 40 00:02:45,885 --> 00:02:47,005 Like bodily fluids? 41 00:02:47,565 --> 00:02:48,565 Hey, look. 42 00:02:49,405 --> 00:02:50,925 - Still looking for a job? - Hah, yeah. 43 00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:52,685 Nice try, but you can't distract me 44 00:02:52,765 --> 00:02:54,925 from the fact that you're clearly in love with Maeve! 45 00:03:28,285 --> 00:03:30,605 - That was good. - Yeah. 46 00:03:37,445 --> 00:03:40,405 I haven’t seen you for a while. I thought you didn't wanna hook up anymore. 47 00:03:40,525 --> 00:03:42,045 - I've been busy. - All right. 48 00:03:44,005 --> 00:03:45,325 Do you wanna hang out later? 49 00:03:45,405 --> 00:03:47,165 - We just had sex. - I mean, like... 50 00:03:47,765 --> 00:03:49,485 You know, hang out. 51 00:03:50,445 --> 00:03:52,805 Jackson, I’m not offended that you wanna keep this a secret. 52 00:03:52,965 --> 00:03:54,245 It’s casual and it works for me. 53 00:03:54,285 --> 00:03:56,925 You don't have to try and be honorable and shit. Okay? 54 00:03:57,645 --> 00:03:58,645 See you later. 55 00:03:59,685 --> 00:04:00,725 Sh... 56 00:04:09,965 --> 00:04:11,485 Oh, my God. Jackson is so hot. 57 00:04:12,325 --> 00:04:15,205 Jackson is looking at us. God. 58 00:04:17,805 --> 00:04:19,885 - Jackson's approaching us. - Mind if I join you? 59 00:04:19,965 --> 00:04:21,245 - Jackson is here. - Uh... 60 00:04:21,325 --> 00:04:22,845 - You know Maeve, right? - Nah. 61 00:04:23,285 --> 00:04:24,405 Yes, you do. He does. 62 00:04:24,485 --> 00:04:27,845 Well, yeah, I mean... we're friends. We're just friends, you know. 63 00:04:27,925 --> 00:04:29,405 - Hey, man, I'm... - Handsome. 64 00:04:29,805 --> 00:04:32,485 - Sorry, you are... - Eric. 65 00:04:33,405 --> 00:04:34,405 Eric. 66 00:04:35,485 --> 00:04:37,605 Some people know me as Tromboner. 67 00:04:39,845 --> 00:04:41,125 - So, I need your help. - Me? 68 00:04:41,205 --> 00:04:42,685 I mean... me? 69 00:04:42,765 --> 00:04:45,365 - Well, Maeve and I, we're, you know... - Boning. 70 00:04:45,445 --> 00:04:46,645 Yeah. And it's great. 71 00:04:46,725 --> 00:04:49,605 But I've sort of realized that I want her to hang around with me more. 72 00:04:49,685 --> 00:04:51,325 - Mm. - You know, afterwards. 73 00:04:51,405 --> 00:04:54,205 - After the boning. Mm. - Yeah, so I thought you could help me out. 74 00:04:54,885 --> 00:04:57,605 You want him to help you get Maeve to be your girlfriend? 75 00:04:57,685 --> 00:04:58,685 Yeah. 76 00:04:58,925 --> 00:05:01,045 Yeah, I don't really know what I can do. 77 00:05:01,125 --> 00:05:02,125 So... 78 00:05:02,165 --> 00:05:04,221 - Well, I mean, you're her friend. - You're her friend? 79 00:05:04,245 --> 00:05:06,445 And I heard you sort of give out sex advice. 80 00:05:06,525 --> 00:05:08,285 - Yeah, he does. - Yeah. 81 00:05:08,365 --> 00:05:11,245 So I thought you were the right person to talk to. 82 00:05:12,485 --> 00:05:15,125 I mean, I can pay, if that's the problem. 83 00:05:15,205 --> 00:05:17,045 - I... - Oh, shit, I've gotta run. 84 00:05:17,125 --> 00:05:18,461 - Let’s catch up later. - Wait, no. 85 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,485 - I really appreciate this, man. Take care. - Yeah. 86 00:05:20,565 --> 00:05:21,565 This... 87 00:05:27,725 --> 00:05:29,125 Is that Jackson's new girlfriend? 88 00:05:30,125 --> 00:05:32,925 Oh! Ha! You are like a pimp. 89 00:05:33,485 --> 00:05:36,005 And not the cool Snoop Dogg kind. 90 00:05:36,525 --> 00:05:38,325 Hm! 91 00:05:40,645 --> 00:05:41,645 D. 92 00:05:43,445 --> 00:05:44,685 D. 93 00:05:46,125 --> 00:05:47,125 E. 94 00:05:47,565 --> 00:05:50,165 And on this one you just drew a picture of a... 95 00:05:50,245 --> 00:05:52,405 That's a... It's a woman's behind. 96 00:05:52,485 --> 00:05:54,125 There. There's a... 97 00:05:55,085 --> 00:05:57,485 - That's a bumhole, there's a vagina. - You won't be laughing 98 00:05:57,525 --> 00:06:00,165 when you throw yourself off a motorway bridge at the age of 35 99 00:06:00,245 --> 00:06:02,325 because of the failure you have become! 100 00:06:06,285 --> 00:06:08,965 I have spoken to the dean at Mountview Military this morning. 101 00:06:10,365 --> 00:06:12,525 - Dad, I... - Your name is on the waiting list. 102 00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:15,885 You have until the end of term to get these grades up and change my mind. 103 00:06:35,365 --> 00:06:37,285 Sorry I'm late. I had a, uh... 104 00:06:37,365 --> 00:06:38,365 Had a thing. 105 00:06:39,085 --> 00:06:40,925 Get it together, we've got clients. 106 00:06:41,005 --> 00:06:43,765 Roger. Affirmative. Good to go. 107 00:06:47,165 --> 00:06:49,525 It’s like the more we try, the worse it gets. 108 00:06:49,645 --> 00:06:51,685 Like we can't get in sync or find a rhythm. 109 00:06:52,325 --> 00:06:55,005 When we're having sex, I feel like I've never seen a vagina before. 110 00:06:55,085 --> 00:06:57,165 But I have, I've got one and I've looked at it a lot. 111 00:06:57,445 --> 00:06:59,901 It's got to the point where when I think about touching Ruthie, 112 00:06:59,925 --> 00:07:02,405 I get really panicked, because I know it's gonna be really bad. 113 00:07:02,485 --> 00:07:04,365 Like when you put together a bookshelf from IKEA 114 00:07:04,445 --> 00:07:06,285 and you realize you don’t have the right screw 115 00:07:06,365 --> 00:07:07,925 and the whole thing was a waste of time 116 00:07:07,965 --> 00:07:09,805 and then you just hate everything about Sweden. 117 00:07:10,325 --> 00:07:13,325 - Ruthie, tell him how bad it is. - Look, I don't know why we're doing this. 118 00:07:13,605 --> 00:07:16,245 It's not like some advice from a 16-year-old straight dude 119 00:07:16,325 --> 00:07:17,645 is gonna magically fix us. 120 00:07:18,165 --> 00:07:19,165 It’s stupid. 121 00:07:19,485 --> 00:07:21,725 Yeah, well, I mean, you're right, Ruthie. 122 00:07:21,805 --> 00:07:23,485 I'm not particularly well-versed 123 00:07:23,565 --> 00:07:25,885 in the intricacies of lesbian sexual relations, 124 00:07:26,165 --> 00:07:27,165 but I think, 125 00:07:27,645 --> 00:07:30,845 if I can learn a bit more about your emotional relationship to one another, 126 00:07:30,925 --> 00:07:33,285 I might be able to get closer to the root of the problem. 127 00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:35,565 We don’t have a problem with our relationship. 128 00:07:36,485 --> 00:07:38,045 We're in love and it's great. 129 00:07:38,685 --> 00:07:39,685 We're just... 130 00:07:40,205 --> 00:07:41,205 inexperienced. 131 00:07:41,365 --> 00:07:43,405 This is my first lesbian relationship. 132 00:07:43,805 --> 00:07:44,885 Me too. 133 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,525 First, I mean, lesbian sex therapy session. 134 00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,365 So have you got any ideas, Kinsey? 135 00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:51,885 I'd like to have an orgasm sometime this century. 136 00:07:52,525 --> 00:07:53,885 Yeah, leave it with me. 137 00:07:54,045 --> 00:07:56,245 I’ll do some research and see what I can come up with. 138 00:07:56,325 --> 00:07:57,325 Yeah, brilliant. 139 00:07:58,045 --> 00:07:59,445 Thanks, thank you. 140 00:08:03,125 --> 00:08:04,125 How'd it go? 141 00:08:05,325 --> 00:08:06,565 Might be a tricky one. 142 00:08:12,405 --> 00:08:13,525 Ah... 143 00:08:16,965 --> 00:08:18,285 I'm so sorry. 144 00:08:18,845 --> 00:08:21,925 I'm sorry, I'm coming down with something. Nothing serious, though. 145 00:08:22,165 --> 00:08:23,965 Do you want to come in and we can get started? 146 00:08:24,005 --> 00:08:25,565 - I'm just gonna grab my... - Follow me. 147 00:08:39,965 --> 00:08:41,205 Have a seat. 148 00:08:42,125 --> 00:08:43,165 I won't bite. 149 00:08:48,805 --> 00:08:49,805 So... 150 00:08:50,245 --> 00:08:51,645 scrotal anxiety. 151 00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:55,285 Your email implies you've been struggling with this for a while. 152 00:08:56,445 --> 00:09:00,725 Why don't you start by telling me your earliest memory of your scrotum? 153 00:09:02,725 --> 00:09:04,165 Oh, goodness. 154 00:09:04,245 --> 00:09:05,885 I'm sorry, I completely forgot. 155 00:09:05,965 --> 00:09:07,125 I, uh... 156 00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:10,245 - I'm having my bathroom redone. - Yeah, I know. 157 00:09:10,645 --> 00:09:12,045 I have my tools outside. 158 00:09:13,605 --> 00:09:15,845 So I'd better go and get them, right? 159 00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:23,325 Earliest memory, 160 00:09:23,965 --> 00:09:25,525 I'd just turned five. 161 00:09:26,725 --> 00:09:28,085 And I was looking down, 162 00:09:28,725 --> 00:09:29,765 and thought, 163 00:09:30,685 --> 00:09:33,205 "Oh, there are my balls." 164 00:09:38,925 --> 00:09:41,845 The topic for this year's sixth form essay competition is 165 00:09:41,925 --> 00:09:44,645 "Every great dream begins with a dreamer." 166 00:09:44,725 --> 00:09:45,925 Entry is compulsory. 167 00:09:46,005 --> 00:09:49,005 This is a fantastic opportunity that could look very good 168 00:09:49,085 --> 00:09:51,085 on your university applications next year. 169 00:09:51,525 --> 00:09:54,805 Are any of you even listening? No, I didn't think so. Anyway... 170 00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:57,325 Here's some more information. Take it or leave it. 171 00:09:57,445 --> 00:10:00,565 I'll be interested to see your take on this, Maeve. Genuinely. 172 00:10:10,725 --> 00:10:12,861 - I'm giving the money back. - No, hold up. 173 00:10:12,885 --> 00:10:16,125 You have a rare opportunity here to use your power for self-interest. 174 00:10:16,205 --> 00:10:17,085 What do you mean? 175 00:10:17,165 --> 00:10:20,045 You keep the money. Give Jackson the wrong advice. Make trouble. 176 00:10:20,125 --> 00:10:21,565 Okay, that is unethical 177 00:10:21,645 --> 00:10:23,085 - on so many levels. - Oh! 178 00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:24,605 Yeah, unethical or... 179 00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:27,085 badass? 180 00:10:27,165 --> 00:10:28,261 - Completely unethical. - Ugh! 181 00:10:28,285 --> 00:10:29,885 Eric, I'm giving the money back. 182 00:10:30,365 --> 00:10:31,845 Okay? End of story. 183 00:10:31,925 --> 00:10:34,405 Well, after you then, Captain Morality. 184 00:10:36,645 --> 00:10:37,885 Otis! 185 00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,245 You tracked me down. 186 00:10:39,685 --> 00:10:41,925 Listen, I... I need to give this back to you. 187 00:10:42,405 --> 00:10:44,965 I feel uncomfortable talking behind Maeve’s back. It’s wrong. 188 00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:47,165 It's unethical and it's just wrong. 189 00:10:47,485 --> 00:10:48,845 - I get it. - All right, cool. 190 00:10:48,925 --> 00:10:50,605 Yeah. No problem. You're an honorable guy. 191 00:10:50,925 --> 00:10:54,165 - Great. Here's the money. - Maeve is such a head-fuck, man. 192 00:10:54,245 --> 00:10:57,285 Like a Rubik's Cube. She says one thing and then does something else. 193 00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:58,365 And I can't keep up. 194 00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:00,525 - Know what I mean? - Not really. But here you go. 195 00:11:00,605 --> 00:11:02,045 We’ll have crazy amazing sex, yeah? 196 00:11:02,125 --> 00:11:04,405 I'm talking, like, transcendental-level shagging. 197 00:11:04,485 --> 00:11:05,405 - Okay, stop! - Aaah! 198 00:11:05,485 --> 00:11:07,405 And then she ignores me for days. 199 00:11:07,485 --> 00:11:11,405 But then, she wants to do it again and round and round we go. 200 00:11:11,485 --> 00:11:14,405 She's like some sexy merry-go-round, and I can't get off. 201 00:11:14,485 --> 00:11:15,605 She's not an object! 202 00:11:15,685 --> 00:11:17,525 Ohh... What? 203 00:11:17,605 --> 00:11:19,725 Uh... I said she's not an object. 204 00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:22,885 You keep describing her as inanimate objects, but she is a person. 205 00:11:23,605 --> 00:11:25,661 Have you even thought about asking her what she wants 206 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:26,805 or what she likes? 207 00:11:27,205 --> 00:11:29,045 - Well, what does she like? - Lots of things. 208 00:11:29,165 --> 00:11:31,645 Um... Female writers, for a start. 209 00:11:31,845 --> 00:11:32,925 Oh, like The Hunger Games? 210 00:11:33,165 --> 00:11:36,645 More like, uh, Virginia Woolf or Roxane Gay or Sylvia Plath. 211 00:11:36,725 --> 00:11:40,645 She also has a great taste in music. Joy Division, Nirvana, Bikini Kill... 212 00:11:40,725 --> 00:11:42,765 But she's not a snob. I mean, she'll listen to pop. 213 00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:45,885 - And she has a really dark sense of humor. - I didn't know that. 214 00:11:46,005 --> 00:11:47,605 What are you... What are you doing? 215 00:11:47,685 --> 00:11:49,765 I'm taking notes. This is super helpful. 216 00:11:49,845 --> 00:11:51,565 No! No! I'm not helping. 217 00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:53,325 - This is not helping. - Yeah, it is. 218 00:11:53,405 --> 00:11:56,125 Stop pulling your pricks and get out here! 40 lengths! 219 00:11:56,205 --> 00:11:57,445 Get a move on, Jackson. 220 00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:00,005 Thank you so much. You're a lifesaver. 221 00:12:00,085 --> 00:12:02,005 - Take care. - Yeah. 222 00:12:02,085 --> 00:12:03,085 Bye, Jackson. 223 00:12:05,565 --> 00:12:06,565 Oh, no. 224 00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:10,125 Good job. 225 00:12:10,165 --> 00:12:11,165 Good job. 226 00:12:23,605 --> 00:12:24,941 Ugh. 227 00:12:24,965 --> 00:12:26,405 Go get herpes somewhere else, guys. 228 00:12:33,365 --> 00:12:34,445 Oh, hey, Maeve. 229 00:12:35,485 --> 00:12:37,165 You’re not actually reading Virginia Woolf. 230 00:12:37,205 --> 00:12:38,965 Why wouldn't I be? She's a brilliant mind. 231 00:12:40,685 --> 00:12:42,005 Who’s the big-nosed chick? 232 00:12:42,445 --> 00:12:45,965 A fierce, feminist voice of 20th-century Britain, obviously. 233 00:12:46,165 --> 00:12:48,501 I've never seen you read before. Is this some kind of joke? 234 00:12:48,525 --> 00:12:50,645 No! I read all the time. 235 00:12:54,845 --> 00:12:55,845 Hey. 236 00:12:57,645 --> 00:12:59,925 Do you know you are the only person 237 00:13:00,005 --> 00:13:03,525 to take this book out of the library since 1972? 238 00:13:04,165 --> 00:13:05,245 Not anymore, apparently. 239 00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:12,885 So now he's a feminist! 240 00:13:12,965 --> 00:13:15,005 You've made the hottest guy in school even hotter. 241 00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:17,245 He's basically Ryan Gosling. Well done. 242 00:13:17,325 --> 00:13:19,485 You don't understand. He's like a Jedi. 243 00:13:19,645 --> 00:13:23,285 Okay? He just talked, and no matter what I did, he got what he wanted. 244 00:13:23,365 --> 00:13:26,445 The one thing you had going for you was that you're all woke and shit. 245 00:13:26,645 --> 00:13:29,285 Kind of counters the whole lame virgin thing. 246 00:13:29,365 --> 00:13:31,565 Now he's checking his privilege. It's game over. 247 00:13:31,965 --> 00:13:33,501 - It's not a game. - It is a game. 248 00:13:33,525 --> 00:13:35,805 - Because Maeve and I are just friends. - Hm. 249 00:13:36,325 --> 00:13:38,605 Anyway, she's not gonna fall for this whole performance. 250 00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:41,285 Oh, my God, I love Virginia Woolf. 251 00:13:42,245 --> 00:13:43,845 Nice guys finish last. 252 00:13:43,925 --> 00:13:46,565 Especially when there's a nicer guy with rock-hard abs. 253 00:13:55,845 --> 00:13:57,845 Ruby thinks Kyle should change the way he dresses, 254 00:13:57,925 --> 00:13:59,405 but I think he looks nice. 255 00:13:59,485 --> 00:14:01,605 He has been wearing a lot of trackie bottoms recently, 256 00:14:01,685 --> 00:14:03,605 but that's only 'cause he set his jeans on fire. 257 00:14:04,245 --> 00:14:05,445 What? 258 00:14:05,525 --> 00:14:07,205 He’s got second-degree burns on his thighs, 259 00:14:07,285 --> 00:14:09,566 but he was blazed when it happened, so it only hurt a bit. 260 00:14:10,245 --> 00:14:11,245 Hey, Maeve. 261 00:14:11,325 --> 00:14:13,005 What do you think Woolf meant by, 262 00:14:13,085 --> 00:14:15,765 "The history of men's opposition to women's emancipation 263 00:14:15,845 --> 00:14:18,925 is more interesting, perhaps, than the story of that emancipation itself"? 264 00:14:20,285 --> 00:14:22,965 That men are dicks, and selective castration is our only hope. 265 00:14:24,285 --> 00:14:25,725 You know, you are so dark. 266 00:14:26,765 --> 00:14:29,405 - What? - Your humor, it's dark. I like dark humor. 267 00:14:31,045 --> 00:14:32,045 - Okay, bye. - Bye. 268 00:14:35,325 --> 00:14:37,005 He's being so weird. 269 00:14:37,605 --> 00:14:39,125 I think he’s peacocking. 270 00:14:39,725 --> 00:14:40,805 But with words. 271 00:14:42,285 --> 00:14:44,285 Girls, less chatting, more running! 272 00:14:46,525 --> 00:14:48,125 - Look! Look, look, look! - I know! Okay! 273 00:14:56,725 --> 00:14:58,205 Are you listening to Sløtface? 274 00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:02,965 Oh, what? Sløtface? Yeah, their new album is incredible. 275 00:15:03,205 --> 00:15:04,445 Since when do you like punk? 276 00:15:04,525 --> 00:15:05,605 Oh, wait, do you like punk? 277 00:15:06,165 --> 00:15:07,965 - Among other things. - Ah! 278 00:15:08,445 --> 00:15:10,981 Well, I've actually got a spare ticket for this local band night. 279 00:15:11,005 --> 00:15:12,365 Pussyfest. Do you wanna come? 280 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:15,725 - Maybe. - All right, it's a date. 281 00:15:16,565 --> 00:15:19,445 Actually, I can't. I've got an essay to write. 282 00:15:19,525 --> 00:15:21,045 - Huh? - Have fun, though. 283 00:15:27,165 --> 00:15:28,445 She's not gonna text you. 284 00:15:29,285 --> 00:15:30,565 She's texting Jackson now. 285 00:15:31,205 --> 00:15:32,965 Who needs a friend when you have a boyfriend? 286 00:15:33,045 --> 00:15:34,805 Uh, he's not her boyfriend. Okay? 287 00:15:34,885 --> 00:15:37,245 I mean, I wouldn't care if he was, but he's not. 288 00:15:37,325 --> 00:15:38,445 He's literally not. 289 00:15:39,925 --> 00:15:41,885 Well, well. Appears you were wrong. 290 00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:44,405 I've gotta go. 291 00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,645 See, Maeve and I still run a sex clinic together. 292 00:15:46,725 --> 00:15:48,085 And that's still weird. 293 00:15:50,605 --> 00:15:52,645 That's really, really weird. 294 00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:05,765 What? 295 00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:08,981 Is the music too loud? 296 00:16:09,005 --> 00:16:10,005 N... No, it's fine. 297 00:16:10,045 --> 00:16:14,005 Okay. 298 00:16:14,445 --> 00:16:16,565 How's it going? 299 00:16:16,645 --> 00:16:19,725 Quite a bit of mold, but, uh, it's fixable. 300 00:16:20,365 --> 00:16:21,365 Great. 301 00:16:21,445 --> 00:16:24,125 - I mean, that's fine. - Yeah. 302 00:16:26,245 --> 00:16:27,725 Are you writing another book? 303 00:16:28,205 --> 00:16:29,045 Uh... 304 00:16:29,125 --> 00:16:32,525 I mean, I saw that you've... you've written books, 305 00:16:32,885 --> 00:16:34,445 this morning, in your office. 306 00:16:34,805 --> 00:16:37,725 Yes, I did. A very long time ago. 307 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:41,245 But, um... I don't really write anymore. 308 00:16:42,525 --> 00:16:43,525 Why? 309 00:16:45,765 --> 00:16:47,445 Well, um... 310 00:16:48,565 --> 00:16:51,045 I wrote that last book with my... 311 00:16:51,405 --> 00:16:52,405 ex-husband. 312 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:56,045 And we split just after the publication. 313 00:16:56,365 --> 00:17:00,965 And I tried, but, to be honest, um... 314 00:17:01,725 --> 00:17:04,045 the fear creeps in a bit as you get older. 315 00:17:05,045 --> 00:17:06,805 I don't know why I'm telling you that. 316 00:17:08,165 --> 00:17:09,165 Fuck fear. 317 00:17:10,205 --> 00:17:11,205 I'm sorry? 318 00:17:11,645 --> 00:17:12,765 Fuck the fear. 319 00:17:13,005 --> 00:17:15,925 Tomorrow, you could be driving along in your car, happily, 320 00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:21,085 and then, uh, smash you, uh, head to head with an 18-wheeler truck 321 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:24,085 and you're squished to the road, and you're dead. 322 00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,125 Just a waste of time. 323 00:17:27,245 --> 00:17:28,245 So fuck fear. 324 00:17:31,205 --> 00:17:32,205 Hello, darling. 325 00:17:33,405 --> 00:17:34,685 - Hi. - Hi. 326 00:17:35,845 --> 00:17:37,405 - Are you all right? - Yeah. Yeah. 327 00:17:37,565 --> 00:17:39,565 - Homework stuff. - Well... 328 00:17:39,685 --> 00:17:42,805 I should leave you to it. 329 00:18:14,925 --> 00:18:15,925 Sorry. 330 00:18:16,205 --> 00:18:17,245 It's okay. 331 00:18:17,525 --> 00:18:18,605 Hello! 332 00:18:18,885 --> 00:18:20,445 Are you a friend of Otis'? 333 00:18:20,525 --> 00:18:22,765 No, I'm here to pick up my father. 334 00:18:23,925 --> 00:18:26,885 You know, intense European dude. Thinks he’s a comedian. 335 00:18:26,965 --> 00:18:29,925 Piercing blue eyes. He's got "fuck" written across his hand... 336 00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:35,965 Don't be a man-child, get a move on. I'm late for work! 337 00:18:44,005 --> 00:18:46,085 I am ignoring you. Hurry up. 338 00:18:48,005 --> 00:18:49,965 Please can I use your bathroom? 339 00:18:50,205 --> 00:18:51,965 Yes. It's upstairs. 340 00:18:52,285 --> 00:18:53,285 Thanks. 341 00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:04,685 Mum! 342 00:19:05,045 --> 00:19:07,045 You're not my mum. 343 00:19:07,125 --> 00:19:09,045 I just... I'm not... 344 00:19:09,125 --> 00:19:10,245 This is research! 345 00:19:10,325 --> 00:19:12,005 Uh... 346 00:19:16,885 --> 00:19:19,485 You should probably think about gettin' a lock on this door. 347 00:19:20,405 --> 00:19:21,605 Where's the bathroom? 348 00:19:22,085 --> 00:19:24,165 - Uh, on your left. - Thanks. 349 00:19:32,445 --> 00:19:34,205 Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! 350 00:19:34,285 --> 00:19:35,925 Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. 351 00:19:36,685 --> 00:19:38,605 Oh, don't annoy me. 352 00:19:38,685 --> 00:19:39,965 How have you pooped? 353 00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:41,045 Oh, yuck. 354 00:19:41,485 --> 00:19:43,805 Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. 355 00:19:43,885 --> 00:19:45,965 Okay, stay. 356 00:19:46,405 --> 00:19:48,245 Yeah, you should feel bad. 357 00:19:49,845 --> 00:19:51,485 Ugh. 358 00:19:53,005 --> 00:19:57,085 Uh... Francis, Bacon, get back here! 359 00:19:57,165 --> 00:19:58,805 Oh! Come on! Come on! 360 00:19:58,885 --> 00:20:00,085 What the hell? 361 00:20:00,805 --> 00:20:02,405 Uh, Francis! 362 00:20:03,085 --> 00:20:04,245 Bacon! 363 00:20:06,965 --> 00:20:08,085 Shit. 364 00:20:09,445 --> 00:20:11,845 Oh, okay. Come on, guys, come on. 365 00:20:12,405 --> 00:20:13,645 Oh. Come on. 366 00:20:14,085 --> 00:20:15,645 Hey. 367 00:20:17,285 --> 00:20:20,005 Sorry, new job. Dog walker. 368 00:20:20,725 --> 00:20:21,725 Gay. 369 00:20:25,085 --> 00:20:26,165 Quiet, Madam. 370 00:20:27,045 --> 00:20:28,725 Be quiet, Madam. 371 00:20:29,405 --> 00:20:30,405 Um... 372 00:20:33,005 --> 00:20:34,445 She's not my dog. She's my mum's. 373 00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:37,005 Yeah, she's cute. 374 00:20:37,085 --> 00:20:39,325 She's a champ. Okay? 375 00:20:40,485 --> 00:20:42,445 She’s like the Kim Kardashian of tiny dogs. 376 00:20:43,045 --> 00:20:44,045 Oh. 377 00:20:46,565 --> 00:20:47,885 Up, Madam. 378 00:20:47,965 --> 00:20:49,245 Up! Show me tits. 379 00:20:49,325 --> 00:20:52,525 - Good girl. Oh! Good girl. - Hey! 380 00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:54,325 That is wicked. 381 00:20:54,685 --> 00:20:57,165 Hey, Madam sounds a bit like Adam. 382 00:20:58,805 --> 00:21:00,685 What are you trying to say? 383 00:21:00,765 --> 00:21:03,525 Nothing. Nothing. Okay, bye. Bye, um... 384 00:21:10,525 --> 00:21:12,085 - Madam! Madam! - Um... 385 00:21:12,165 --> 00:21:13,285 I'm so sorry. 386 00:21:13,365 --> 00:21:15,685 Uh, I've gotta drop these off, but I can come back... 387 00:21:15,765 --> 00:21:18,765 Don't bother, okay? You shouldn’t be walkin' dogs if you can’t control them. 388 00:21:19,605 --> 00:21:20,845 Just fuck off. 389 00:21:22,685 --> 00:21:24,925 Madam! Madam! 390 00:22:25,005 --> 00:22:26,565 You can't even walk a dog! 391 00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:29,685 The mind boggles! 392 00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:31,725 Think about poor Madam! 393 00:22:31,805 --> 00:22:35,485 Out there alone. Won't last five minutes! 394 00:22:35,565 --> 00:22:38,405 Are you happy? 395 00:22:38,485 --> 00:22:41,341 You broke her heart. Your own mother. 396 00:22:41,365 --> 00:22:44,485 It wasn't me. I swear it wasn't my fault. 397 00:22:44,565 --> 00:22:47,725 Excuses, excuses. Go on, go! 398 00:22:54,085 --> 00:22:56,165 Fuck! 399 00:23:26,365 --> 00:23:27,365 Hello. 400 00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:29,365 Hi. 401 00:23:32,725 --> 00:23:33,725 Okay, then. 402 00:23:34,125 --> 00:23:35,125 I heard a thing. 403 00:23:38,525 --> 00:23:42,205 - Okay. - This thing concerns your virginal status. 404 00:23:43,165 --> 00:23:45,205 Excuse me? 405 00:23:45,605 --> 00:23:48,365 I heard on the grapevine that your cherry remains unpopped. 406 00:23:48,445 --> 00:23:51,205 - That's none of your business. - Yeah, let’s skip the faux modesty. 407 00:23:51,285 --> 00:23:53,405 - I'm down if you are. - Down? 408 00:23:54,365 --> 00:23:55,725 Deflowering the maiden. 409 00:23:56,765 --> 00:23:59,245 Breaking the lawn chair, skinning the fish. 410 00:24:00,085 --> 00:24:03,165 - Your dick in my vagina. What do you say? - Yeah, um... 411 00:24:04,925 --> 00:24:05,965 Wait, sorry, who are you? 412 00:24:06,605 --> 00:24:08,005 Whoever you want me to be. 413 00:24:10,485 --> 00:24:11,485 Also, I'm Lily. 414 00:24:12,445 --> 00:24:15,765 Well, thanks, Lily, but, um... 415 00:24:16,245 --> 00:24:18,005 I'm gonna have to politely decline. 416 00:24:18,325 --> 00:24:19,325 Okay. 417 00:24:19,765 --> 00:24:21,565 Well, if you change your mind, 418 00:24:21,725 --> 00:24:23,925 you can usually find me in music room B. 419 00:24:24,725 --> 00:24:25,725 Or algebra club. 420 00:24:27,085 --> 00:24:28,085 Bye, then. 421 00:24:28,605 --> 00:24:29,605 Bye. 422 00:24:33,085 --> 00:24:34,765 Woof-woof-woof! O-Dawg! 423 00:24:34,845 --> 00:24:36,885 Uh... J... Dude. 424 00:24:36,965 --> 00:24:38,765 Just wanna say thanks for the help, man. 425 00:24:38,845 --> 00:24:40,485 Me and Maeve have been texting all night. 426 00:24:40,525 --> 00:24:42,205 - She's, like, mad brainy. - Yeah. I know. 427 00:24:42,285 --> 00:24:44,285 I'm actually into some of this stuff too, you know. 428 00:24:44,365 --> 00:24:47,005 - It is good to look outside your bubble. - Yeah, I guess it is. 429 00:24:47,085 --> 00:24:49,181 - It's all thanks to you, man. - You know what, Jackson? 430 00:24:49,205 --> 00:24:50,125 - I... - Ah, that's her! 431 00:24:50,205 --> 00:24:51,541 - I didn't... - Gotta go. Thank you. 432 00:24:51,565 --> 00:24:52,405 - Wait. - Yeah? 433 00:24:52,485 --> 00:24:54,045 Okay. 434 00:24:54,485 --> 00:24:56,485 Yo! 435 00:25:08,845 --> 00:25:09,845 It's for you. 436 00:25:10,845 --> 00:25:12,805 It's soup, for a sick person. 437 00:25:12,885 --> 00:25:15,005 Oh, no! Oh, you shouldn't have done that. 438 00:25:15,085 --> 00:25:18,245 I'm feeling so much better today. Just a scratchy throat. 439 00:25:18,325 --> 00:25:21,005 Still, uh... eat the soup. It's good for you. 440 00:25:22,125 --> 00:25:24,045 No one's ever made me soup before. 441 00:25:24,125 --> 00:25:25,165 It's just soup. 442 00:25:27,685 --> 00:25:29,205 Okay, back to work, then. 443 00:25:29,965 --> 00:25:30,965 Excuse me. 444 00:25:32,525 --> 00:25:33,565 Excuse me. 445 00:25:54,525 --> 00:25:55,605 Mm! 446 00:26:35,885 --> 00:26:37,405 Why don't you just go out with him? 447 00:26:38,445 --> 00:26:40,085 Let's do a mind map. 448 00:26:40,445 --> 00:26:42,405 - What's that? - Oh, it's just writing stuff down. 449 00:26:42,445 --> 00:26:45,165 But in a fun way that engages all sides of your brain. 450 00:26:45,525 --> 00:26:46,725 You mean both sides. 451 00:26:46,965 --> 00:26:47,885 Yeah, all of them. 452 00:26:47,965 --> 00:26:49,445 It's really good for hard decisions 453 00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:50,725 like, should I get a fringe, 454 00:26:50,805 --> 00:26:53,205 even though Mum says it'll make my face look chubby? 455 00:26:53,285 --> 00:26:56,245 Or should I tell Mum I hate her and run away from home? 456 00:26:56,365 --> 00:26:57,365 Hm? 457 00:26:57,965 --> 00:27:00,645 So, let's start with Jackson's nice bits. 458 00:27:01,205 --> 00:27:02,685 Okay. Um... 459 00:27:03,125 --> 00:27:04,485 He's good at sex. 460 00:27:05,045 --> 00:27:07,405 Like, properly good. 461 00:27:07,725 --> 00:27:08,805 Mm! 462 00:27:09,245 --> 00:27:11,925 - Uh, he's attractive. - And he's popular. 463 00:27:12,245 --> 00:27:14,325 Mm-hm. And he's going places. 464 00:27:14,765 --> 00:27:16,365 Like, he's not a slacker. 465 00:27:16,605 --> 00:27:18,565 No, he's probably gonna be president or something. 466 00:27:18,605 --> 00:27:21,205 We don't have presidents in this country, Aimee. 467 00:27:24,045 --> 00:27:25,045 Okay, what else? 468 00:27:27,485 --> 00:27:29,085 Do you have things in common? 469 00:27:29,325 --> 00:27:30,445 Yeah, we do. 470 00:27:30,845 --> 00:27:31,965 - Weirdly. - So... 471 00:27:32,805 --> 00:27:33,885 Cons? 472 00:27:34,965 --> 00:27:36,845 - I don't want a boyfriend. - I don't get it. 473 00:27:37,805 --> 00:27:39,685 Having a boyfriend is the best thing. 474 00:27:39,925 --> 00:27:41,165 What’s so good about it? 475 00:27:44,325 --> 00:27:46,125 You always have someone to hang out with. 476 00:27:46,205 --> 00:27:49,845 And, like, last week, I got chased by a fox, and Kyle threw a shoe at it. 477 00:27:51,165 --> 00:27:52,685 It was so romantic. 478 00:28:04,605 --> 00:28:07,605 This is good. It's really helpful, being in the water, isn't it? 479 00:28:07,685 --> 00:28:11,565 It's freeing us up. We're really figuring out how our bodies can intertwine. 480 00:28:11,645 --> 00:28:14,205 It’s working well for me. Is it working for you? 481 00:28:14,965 --> 00:28:15,965 No. 482 00:28:21,405 --> 00:28:22,405 How's it going, guys? 483 00:28:23,365 --> 00:28:24,485 What are you doing? 484 00:28:24,565 --> 00:28:26,621 I don't want you to think I engineered this situation 485 00:28:26,645 --> 00:28:27,925 for my own sexual gratification. 486 00:28:27,965 --> 00:28:29,325 That would be super creepy. 487 00:28:29,925 --> 00:28:31,085 Hence the backwards stance. 488 00:28:31,605 --> 00:28:34,045 This is even creepier. Just turn around. Stop being creepy. 489 00:28:36,245 --> 00:28:40,645 Well, like I said before, I am a sex and relationship therapist. 490 00:28:40,725 --> 00:28:43,245 You are a teenager with an inflated sense of self-importance. 491 00:28:43,325 --> 00:28:44,645 Right. Well, I have a hunch 492 00:28:44,725 --> 00:28:48,165 that this is more to do with your relationship than your physical intimacy. 493 00:28:48,605 --> 00:28:50,581 - How's your communication? - We've known each other 494 00:28:50,605 --> 00:28:52,965 since primary school, and we talk for hours. 495 00:28:53,445 --> 00:28:55,445 - It might help. - Interesting. 496 00:28:55,805 --> 00:28:57,365 How long have you guys been together? 497 00:28:57,445 --> 00:28:58,445 About four months. 498 00:28:58,525 --> 00:29:01,605 We both came out around the same time and it just happened. 499 00:29:01,685 --> 00:29:02,525 Interesting. 500 00:29:02,605 --> 00:29:04,365 I'm sure you find lots of things interesting, 501 00:29:04,445 --> 00:29:06,645 but our problem is with the sex, not the relationship. 502 00:29:06,725 --> 00:29:08,645 So we're just gonna figure this out on our own. 503 00:29:09,565 --> 00:29:10,965 Uh... 504 00:29:11,045 --> 00:29:14,085 Well, come back when you're ready to talk about your relationship. 505 00:29:15,205 --> 00:29:16,965 Good session, team. Great progress. 506 00:29:32,125 --> 00:29:33,485 How's it going with Jackson? 507 00:29:34,925 --> 00:29:36,325 - What do you mean? - I mean... 508 00:29:37,125 --> 00:29:39,165 You guys seem to be spending a lot of time together. 509 00:29:39,805 --> 00:29:40,965 What do you care? 510 00:29:41,645 --> 00:29:43,285 I was just asking. Sorry. 511 00:29:44,725 --> 00:29:47,445 He does seem keen for us to hang out more, but... 512 00:29:48,925 --> 00:29:50,125 I don't really get it. 513 00:29:50,805 --> 00:29:52,165 Like, we have loads of sex. 514 00:29:52,885 --> 00:29:54,645 So why'd he wanna complicate things? 515 00:29:55,005 --> 00:29:58,205 It's stupid. Anyway, I don't do boyfriends. 516 00:30:00,685 --> 00:30:01,685 Why not? 517 00:30:03,125 --> 00:30:06,925 You know in rom-coms, when the guy finally realizes he’s in love with the girl, 518 00:30:07,005 --> 00:30:09,245 and he turns up with a boom box outside her house, 519 00:30:09,325 --> 00:30:12,325 blasting her favorite song, and everyone in the audience swoons? 520 00:30:13,085 --> 00:30:14,645 Yeah, that makes me sick. 521 00:30:17,045 --> 00:30:18,365 Okay, but seriously, 522 00:30:18,965 --> 00:30:20,325 what's wrong with boyfriends? 523 00:30:22,005 --> 00:30:23,925 It’s just someone else to let you down, isn't it? 524 00:30:29,125 --> 00:30:30,325 You really think so? 525 00:30:36,765 --> 00:30:37,765 What the hell? 526 00:30:38,645 --> 00:30:39,725 What? 527 00:30:41,125 --> 00:30:42,125 Ah! 528 00:30:45,245 --> 00:30:46,525 Like that, do you? 529 00:30:47,925 --> 00:30:48,925 Don't fucking... 530 00:30:56,925 --> 00:30:59,525 So... why don't you wanna go out with Jackson? 531 00:30:59,605 --> 00:31:01,405 - I mean, really. - No. 532 00:31:01,485 --> 00:31:03,045 We don't do that therapy thing. 533 00:31:03,445 --> 00:31:04,965 Save that for the clientele. 534 00:31:08,645 --> 00:31:09,645 Fine. 535 00:31:10,365 --> 00:31:11,765 I'm me and he's him. 536 00:31:12,325 --> 00:31:13,325 Meaning? 537 00:31:13,405 --> 00:31:17,085 Come on, Otis, he's Jackson and I'm... You know. 538 00:31:17,165 --> 00:31:18,245 Maeve. 539 00:31:18,325 --> 00:31:21,485 No, I'm a grotty, stinky cock-biter who lives in a caravan. 540 00:31:21,565 --> 00:31:23,445 Come on! You're not. Look... 541 00:31:23,565 --> 00:31:24,805 You're not that stinky. 542 00:31:25,645 --> 00:31:27,685 Plus, I thought it was a scrote you bit? 543 00:31:28,085 --> 00:31:29,125 Dickhead! 544 00:31:29,205 --> 00:31:30,205 Oh! 545 00:31:36,925 --> 00:31:39,725 You look like the Cookie Monster. 546 00:31:40,925 --> 00:31:42,005 Wait... 547 00:31:43,685 --> 00:31:45,365 Ooh! Okay. 548 00:31:45,445 --> 00:31:47,645 Ow! Yeah, let's go. 549 00:31:48,365 --> 00:31:49,365 - Okay. - Yeah. 550 00:31:51,085 --> 00:31:52,085 You coming? 551 00:31:52,605 --> 00:31:53,605 No. 552 00:31:53,845 --> 00:31:56,125 - What? You just said we better go. - I'm staying here. 553 00:31:56,565 --> 00:31:57,565 Why? 554 00:31:58,125 --> 00:31:59,125 Um... 555 00:31:59,605 --> 00:32:00,805 Exercise. 556 00:32:01,365 --> 00:32:02,805 Yeah, but school is closing. 557 00:32:03,565 --> 00:32:04,565 Yeah, but... 558 00:32:05,765 --> 00:32:06,885 exercise. 559 00:32:07,805 --> 00:32:08,805 Okay. 560 00:32:16,365 --> 00:32:18,205 You're compellingly odd, Milburn. 561 00:32:23,445 --> 00:32:24,925 Fucking go away. 562 00:32:26,925 --> 00:32:29,805 Must have been one hell of a blow job, Wiley. 563 00:32:37,085 --> 00:32:38,085 Otis. 564 00:32:38,565 --> 00:32:39,565 Uh... 565 00:32:43,445 --> 00:32:44,445 Promise not to laugh. 566 00:32:45,645 --> 00:32:48,565 I might have a mild to moderate crush on Maeve. 567 00:32:48,645 --> 00:32:50,725 Yeah, no shit. What gave it away? 568 00:32:52,125 --> 00:32:53,125 She, uh... 569 00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:55,845 She touched my eyebrows and now I have an erection. 570 00:33:01,725 --> 00:33:03,365 You said you wouldn't laugh. 571 00:33:03,445 --> 00:33:05,205 Ugh. It won't go away. 572 00:33:05,285 --> 00:33:06,285 It's been half an hour, 573 00:33:06,325 --> 00:33:07,925 and it's really cold. 574 00:33:08,485 --> 00:33:10,085 There's only one solution. 575 00:33:14,365 --> 00:33:15,565 Okay. 576 00:33:16,485 --> 00:33:17,725 It's just wanking. 577 00:33:21,765 --> 00:33:22,765 Oh, God. 578 00:33:49,125 --> 00:33:51,845 Ah, stop! Ah! No! 579 00:33:52,445 --> 00:33:55,965 AC/DC! AC/DC! Okay. 580 00:33:56,045 --> 00:33:58,445 Adam and the Ants, Aerosmith, Alice in Chains. 581 00:33:58,725 --> 00:34:00,725 The Blues Brothers. Bowie, David. 582 00:34:00,805 --> 00:34:02,925 The Byrds. Okay. 583 00:34:04,805 --> 00:34:06,165 - Did you do it? - No. 584 00:34:06,245 --> 00:34:08,565 I alphabetized my music collection and it went away. 585 00:34:08,645 --> 00:34:09,885 It's okay, man. 586 00:34:09,965 --> 00:34:12,725 - Next time. - We won't speak of this ever again, okay? 587 00:34:14,565 --> 00:34:15,565 Otis! 588 00:34:17,525 --> 00:34:18,525 You got a minute? 589 00:34:19,725 --> 00:34:20,725 Yeah. 590 00:34:23,885 --> 00:34:25,485 I know the drill. 591 00:34:26,085 --> 00:34:27,085 Bye, Jackson. 592 00:34:29,525 --> 00:34:32,205 So I'm gonna ask Maeve out, properly this time. 593 00:34:33,245 --> 00:34:35,205 - How do you think I should do it? - Jackson... 594 00:34:35,685 --> 00:34:37,845 you're a smart guy. I'm sure you can figure it out. 595 00:34:37,925 --> 00:34:39,885 But I need your help. Everything you said worked. 596 00:34:39,965 --> 00:34:42,725 - I don't want to screw this up. - I'm all out of advice, sorry. 597 00:34:42,805 --> 00:34:45,965 Come on, man. Look, we talk, we laugh. We have crazy good sex. 598 00:34:46,405 --> 00:34:47,805 Now I just wanna seal the deal. 599 00:34:49,725 --> 00:34:50,725 Well... 600 00:34:51,485 --> 00:34:52,885 what do you usually do? 601 00:34:53,965 --> 00:34:57,685 Well, usually I say, "Do you wanna go out?" And then they say yes. 602 00:34:58,485 --> 00:34:59,485 It's that easy? 603 00:35:00,125 --> 00:35:01,965 Well, it's just not usually this hard. 604 00:35:02,045 --> 00:35:03,245 Okay, do you even like Maeve? 605 00:35:03,325 --> 00:35:05,205 Or have you just never not got your way before? 606 00:35:05,285 --> 00:35:06,285 No, I like her. 607 00:35:06,805 --> 00:35:08,885 I wake up and I'm thinkin' about her. 608 00:35:08,965 --> 00:35:10,605 I go to sleep and I'm thinkin' about her. 609 00:35:10,645 --> 00:35:11,805 It's driving me insane. 610 00:35:12,925 --> 00:35:14,485 I think she could be the... 611 00:35:15,405 --> 00:35:16,405 the one. 612 00:35:17,605 --> 00:35:19,205 Wait, sorry. 613 00:35:19,285 --> 00:35:21,325 Sorry. You're right. I'll figure this out on my own. 614 00:35:21,365 --> 00:35:23,365 - You've helped out enough. - Yeah. 615 00:35:24,445 --> 00:35:27,765 You know, it's weird. You're my age, but wise. 616 00:35:28,725 --> 00:35:29,725 You're like my mum... 617 00:35:30,165 --> 00:35:31,365 in a little man’s body. 618 00:35:32,245 --> 00:35:33,645 Like a little mum man. 619 00:35:33,725 --> 00:35:34,725 No offense. 620 00:35:39,845 --> 00:35:41,125 Make a grand gesture. 621 00:35:42,845 --> 00:35:44,245 What, like flowers? 622 00:35:44,885 --> 00:35:45,885 Grander. 623 00:35:46,525 --> 00:35:47,805 Like a giant teddy bear? 624 00:35:48,005 --> 00:35:49,005 Much grander. 625 00:35:49,045 --> 00:35:51,485 Think, like... like rom-com grand, you know? 626 00:35:51,565 --> 00:35:53,165 Public, passionate. 627 00:35:53,685 --> 00:35:55,605 Heart on your sleeve, running through the rain... 628 00:35:56,085 --> 00:35:57,805 If it seems too much, go bigger. 629 00:35:58,325 --> 00:35:59,605 - If you want her... - Yeah. 630 00:35:59,965 --> 00:36:00,965 ...show her how much. 631 00:36:01,685 --> 00:36:02,685 Trust me. 632 00:36:03,445 --> 00:36:04,605 All right. Thanks, man. 633 00:36:05,965 --> 00:36:07,445 You really are a good guy. 634 00:36:15,285 --> 00:36:18,165 You are stone cold evil. 635 00:36:18,245 --> 00:36:20,205 Look, you told me to screw over Jackson. 636 00:36:20,285 --> 00:36:21,645 All right? This was your idea. 637 00:36:21,725 --> 00:36:23,965 I say lots of stuff. You're not supposed to listen to me. 638 00:36:24,645 --> 00:36:27,165 - This is bad. You're a bad person. - Stop saying that. 639 00:36:27,245 --> 00:36:28,605 Why are you now suddenly bad? 640 00:36:28,685 --> 00:36:31,685 Because I'm in love with Maeve, all right? There, I admit it. Are you happy? 641 00:36:31,765 --> 00:36:34,445 Well, not really. I think I prefer Cupcake Otis. 642 00:36:34,565 --> 00:36:35,725 I need to stop Jackson. 643 00:36:35,805 --> 00:36:37,885 Uh, then he'll know that you're in love with Maeve. 644 00:36:37,965 --> 00:36:39,965 Then I need to warn Maeve about what he's gonna do. 645 00:36:40,045 --> 00:36:43,045 Then she'll know that you took money from Jackson and gave him bad advice 646 00:36:43,125 --> 00:36:46,045 - because you're in love with her. - All my options are dog shit. 647 00:36:46,485 --> 00:36:47,485 Yep. 648 00:36:48,165 --> 00:36:49,165 I'm going home. 649 00:36:51,125 --> 00:36:52,125 Okay. 650 00:36:52,645 --> 00:36:54,925 Well, have a nice night, bad man. 651 00:36:57,605 --> 00:36:59,205 Thank you for all your work. 652 00:36:59,885 --> 00:37:01,525 And for the soup. 653 00:37:01,645 --> 00:37:03,205 It was very good. 654 00:37:03,645 --> 00:37:05,565 I, uh... washed it. 655 00:37:06,045 --> 00:37:08,005 I told you, it's the best soup. 656 00:37:12,725 --> 00:37:15,285 - Oh. It's okay. - Clumsy man. 657 00:37:15,605 --> 00:37:16,605 I... 658 00:37:19,245 --> 00:37:20,245 Thank you. 659 00:37:27,045 --> 00:37:28,485 You are a strange woman. 660 00:37:34,765 --> 00:37:35,765 Goodbye, then. 661 00:37:36,165 --> 00:37:38,165 Just put those in there. 662 00:37:39,285 --> 00:37:41,165 Thank you. Goodbye, Jean. 663 00:37:43,085 --> 00:37:44,405 Bye, Mr. Builder. 664 00:37:56,165 --> 00:37:58,045 - Hello. - Uh... 665 00:37:58,805 --> 00:37:59,965 Finish your research? 666 00:38:00,925 --> 00:38:03,085 My... Yes. 667 00:38:03,165 --> 00:38:04,645 Oh, my God. Yes, I did. 668 00:38:04,725 --> 00:38:07,285 It was actual research, by the way. 669 00:38:07,365 --> 00:38:08,885 It's... It's hard to explain. 670 00:38:08,965 --> 00:38:11,045 But, um, I needed to know about scissoring. 671 00:38:12,045 --> 00:38:14,165 Okay. I'm Ola. 672 00:38:15,085 --> 00:38:16,165 I'm Otis. 673 00:38:16,245 --> 00:38:18,445 I got something for you. To help with your research. 674 00:38:18,525 --> 00:38:19,645 My dad installed it. 675 00:38:23,205 --> 00:38:25,085 You know we’re already recording it. 676 00:38:25,165 --> 00:38:27,045 Come on, let's get the fuck out of here. 677 00:38:27,485 --> 00:38:28,885 - Hey. - See ya. 678 00:38:29,365 --> 00:38:30,405 See ya. 679 00:39:23,645 --> 00:39:24,901 Eric! 680 00:39:28,485 --> 00:39:31,845 Eric! 681 00:39:41,605 --> 00:39:43,205 Dad, I think I know who... 682 00:39:43,285 --> 00:39:46,725 Go get hot water and bleach. I don't want your mother seeing this. 683 00:40:04,885 --> 00:40:06,685 - Who are you pervin' on? - Aah! 684 00:40:07,645 --> 00:40:09,285 No one. 685 00:40:09,845 --> 00:40:11,325 Well, um... 686 00:40:11,805 --> 00:40:14,125 Ruthie, but I'm not perving, I'm just watching. 687 00:40:15,005 --> 00:40:16,005 Never mind. 688 00:40:16,805 --> 00:40:18,365 Shame the scissoring thing didn't work. 689 00:40:19,125 --> 00:40:20,645 I'm so skint right now. 690 00:40:24,765 --> 00:40:25,765 Uh... 691 00:40:27,725 --> 00:40:30,445 - What's that? - It's your cut. I treated someone. 692 00:40:33,245 --> 00:40:34,565 You're a fucking gem, Otis. 693 00:40:44,805 --> 00:40:45,885 Tromboner. 694 00:40:47,005 --> 00:40:48,045 Hey, Adam. 695 00:40:48,765 --> 00:40:49,885 Did you find Madam? 696 00:40:51,925 --> 00:40:53,045 Can you smell... 697 00:40:54,445 --> 00:40:55,445 dog shit? 698 00:40:58,205 --> 00:40:59,965 Wiley, can I speak to you for a second? 699 00:41:01,405 --> 00:41:03,285 No chemically induced hard-on today? 700 00:41:03,405 --> 00:41:05,845 You're so funny, you make my dick hurt. Listen... 701 00:41:05,925 --> 00:41:08,605 Uh, that essay thing Sands was banging on about. Write it for me. 702 00:41:08,685 --> 00:41:11,165 - I can pay. - The hand-in's tomorrow. Sorry. 703 00:41:11,245 --> 00:41:12,685 Shit, I really need this. 704 00:41:14,125 --> 00:41:15,165 Come on, I can pay double. 705 00:41:18,125 --> 00:41:19,125 Triple. 706 00:41:21,125 --> 00:41:22,125 Okay. 707 00:41:22,725 --> 00:41:23,725 Great. 708 00:41:26,725 --> 00:41:30,725 What did you buy from the supermarket today? 709 00:41:31,805 --> 00:41:33,925 Only you could make French unsexy. 710 00:41:36,725 --> 00:41:39,845 You do not want to kiss your girlfriend anymore. 711 00:41:40,725 --> 00:41:41,765 Hm? 712 00:41:42,405 --> 00:41:45,885 You like someone else. 713 00:41:48,645 --> 00:41:50,325 Look, Tanya is my best friend. 714 00:41:51,525 --> 00:41:54,405 She was really supportive of me when I came out and everything. 715 00:41:56,125 --> 00:42:00,005 - So when she came out too, I thought... - You might as well be in a relationship. 716 00:42:00,085 --> 00:42:03,165 We're so close, I thought it would be the perfect relationship, 717 00:42:03,605 --> 00:42:05,685 but when we have sex... 718 00:42:06,525 --> 00:42:07,965 it just feels wrong. 719 00:42:08,605 --> 00:42:10,165 And when I'm doing it with Jessa... 720 00:42:12,205 --> 00:42:13,445 everything just works. 721 00:42:17,005 --> 00:42:18,085 I don't know what to do. 722 00:42:20,685 --> 00:42:22,565 You have to tell Tanya the truth. 723 00:42:23,605 --> 00:42:24,805 It would kill her. 724 00:42:27,765 --> 00:42:30,045 You can't choose who you're attracted to. 725 00:42:31,805 --> 00:42:32,805 You can't... 726 00:42:33,125 --> 00:42:34,925 You can't engineer a relationship. 727 00:42:38,365 --> 00:42:39,805 You have to do what's right. 728 00:42:41,725 --> 00:42:44,485 I still think it’s weird a teenage boy is a sex therapist. 729 00:42:44,805 --> 00:42:46,245 C'est la vie. 730 00:42:47,245 --> 00:42:49,805 This is an urgent announcement from your Head Boy. 731 00:42:50,325 --> 00:42:54,005 Will all sixth formers please head to the canteen now? 732 00:43:07,765 --> 00:43:09,925 Has anyone seen Jackson? 733 00:43:10,005 --> 00:43:11,765 Uh... Maybe it’s a fire drill? 734 00:43:14,325 --> 00:43:16,485 Come on, come on, come on, come on. 735 00:43:16,565 --> 00:43:18,205 - Maeve! - Look. He's gonna make a speech. 736 00:43:18,285 --> 00:43:20,365 Yes, Moordale! Sorry for the interruption, 737 00:43:20,445 --> 00:43:22,325 but, hey, it's just your education, right? 738 00:43:24,045 --> 00:43:26,261 There's somebody in this crowd who is very special to me. 739 00:43:26,285 --> 00:43:27,965 And no, it's not you, Mr. Groff. 740 00:43:30,445 --> 00:43:31,965 This person is pretty damn incredible. 741 00:43:33,205 --> 00:43:34,445 She's one of a kind. 742 00:43:35,205 --> 00:43:37,365 But I was an idiot because I wanted to hide how I felt. 743 00:43:38,285 --> 00:43:40,965 Well, I'm not gonna keep it secret anymore. 744 00:43:41,485 --> 00:43:42,525 Maeve Wiley... 745 00:43:44,005 --> 00:43:46,485 this is for you. 746 00:43:48,725 --> 00:43:49,765 I think he's gonna... 747 00:43:49,845 --> 00:43:52,405 ...sing. 748 00:43:52,485 --> 00:43:54,605 No. No! No, no, no, no, no! 749 00:44:28,805 --> 00:44:31,685 I'm in Swing Band. Why didn't they ask me to play? 750 00:44:57,045 --> 00:44:59,485 Will you please be my girlfriend? 751 00:45:01,085 --> 00:45:02,085 You dickhead. 752 00:45:20,725 --> 00:45:22,245 Well, that was unexpected. 53701

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