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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,398 --> 00:00:10,271 Previously on Young Sheldon...Dr. Sturgis will be 2 00:00:10,314 --> 00:00:11,750 joining us for dinner. 3 00:00:11,794 --> 00:00:13,056 I thought he was in the nuthouse. 4 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,492 We do not call it that. 5 00:00:14,536 --> 00:00:16,190 That's what Dad calls it. 6 00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:17,713 For starters, 7 00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:20,020 do not bring up his time in the hospital. 8 00:00:20,063 --> 00:00:21,978 In The Shining, Jack Nicholson goes nuts 9 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,719 and chases people around with an ax. 10 00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:28,724 When them elevator doors opened, man. 11 00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:31,944 Strike!Yeah! 12 00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:34,251 All right, Missy! 13 00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:36,732 Humiliate that boy! 14 00:00:36,775 --> 00:00:37,994 Shelly, why don't you put your book down 15 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,126 and watch your sister play? 16 00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:40,823 It's getting exciting. 17 00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:43,086 It looks like everyone's just standing there. 18 00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:45,697 There's two outs, bases are loaded, 19 00:00:45,741 --> 00:00:47,395 a-and the winning run's on second. 20 00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:50,833 But if Missy throws one more strike, they'll win. 21 00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:52,095 And then we can go home? 22 00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:53,836 That is exciting. 23 00:00:57,187 --> 00:00:59,059 Ball three! Full count! 24 00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:03,889 Hold on. Time! 25 00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:06,066 What are you doing down there? Pray for her. 26 00:01:06,109 --> 00:01:07,502 Right. On it. 27 00:01:07,545 --> 00:01:09,504 What the heck's going on? 28 00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:12,289 I'm gonna lose the game. Everyone's gonna hate me. 29 00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:13,986 Listen to me. 30 00:01:14,030 --> 00:01:15,597 Just throw the ball over the plate. 31 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,381 This guy's not gonna swing. 32 00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:19,122 Yes, he will. He's their best hitter. 33 00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:21,037 Now, you trust me, all right? 34 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,605 He is looking to walk. 35 00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:25,911 He doesn't want to strike out against a girl. 36 00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:28,392 You sure? 37 00:01:28,436 --> 00:01:30,916 Absolutely. Just throw it across the plate. 38 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,918 He will not swing. 39 00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:35,095 Okay. Come on. 40 00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:37,053 Here. Wipe your nose. 41 00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:40,970 That a girl. 42 00:01:41,013 --> 00:01:43,233 Now, you got this. 43 00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:45,061 Come on, Missy! He can't hit! 44 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,063 You can do it! 45 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,152 Play ball! 46 00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:09,433 Strike three! 47 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,261 That's my girl! 48 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:13,742 My gosh. 49 00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:15,309 You said he wasn't gonna swing! 50 00:02:15,352 --> 00:02:17,180 I lied. Hey, we won! 51 00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:18,312 Let's get pizza! 52 00:02:18,355 --> 00:02:19,835 Come on! 53 00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:44,599 Hey. 54 00:02:44,642 --> 00:02:47,036 Thank you. Everybody, dig in. 55 00:02:47,079 --> 00:02:48,864 Fun fact: did you know that pizza 56 00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:51,301 is only one of many Mediterranean flatbreads? 57 00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:55,131 You talking to me? 58 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,742 Shelly, this is Mr. Ballard's first time eating with us. 59 00:02:57,786 --> 00:02:59,091 Let's make sure it's not his last. 60 00:02:59,135 --> 00:03:00,267 Interesting. 61 00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:02,094 Does a family meal mark an escalation 62 00:03:02,138 --> 00:03:04,314 in your romantic relationship? 63 00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:06,490 That's a good question. Does it? 64 00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:09,885 You know what? 65 00:03:09,928 --> 00:03:12,322 Why don't you go sit at the kid table with your sister? 66 00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:15,151 Where do I begin? They're loud, they're sweaty from sports... 67 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,805 Get. 68 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,071 Hey, Sheldon, 69 00:03:22,114 --> 00:03:23,899 if your pizza's too hot, put ice on it. 70 00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:24,900 That's what I did. 71 00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:29,470 So, George, 72 00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:30,819 how do I convince this one to come fishing 73 00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:32,342 with me next weekend? 74 00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:34,605 I told you, nobody's gonna see this face 75 00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:36,172 after a night in a tent. 76 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,565 Smart. 77 00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:39,741 You don't want that mug scaring the fish. 78 00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:40,872 Where you going? 79 00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:43,005 Lake Conroe. Ooh. 80 00:03:43,048 --> 00:03:44,789 Great spot for catfish. 81 00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,530 Well, then, why don't you come along? 82 00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:49,229 You can even bring Georgie if you want to. 83 00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:50,708 That'd be fun. 84 00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:53,668 That sounds fun. Mary, you mind if I go? 85 00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:55,060 A bed all to myself? 86 00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:56,279 Bye.DALE:. 87 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:57,541 It's a plan. 88 00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:59,761 You got to remember 89 00:03:59,804 --> 00:04:03,155 to hoist your food up into the trees so this one can't get it. 90 00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,766 Very funny.You make fun of my face, 91 00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:09,205 I'm gonna have to make fun of your enormous, bear-like body. 92 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,208 So, how are you enjoying your first meal with our family? 93 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,950 Well, everybody's mean. I love it. 94 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,653 Hello. 95 00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,307 George? John here. 96 00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,570 I'm calling to confirm a time 97 00:04:26,614 --> 00:04:29,312 for beer and socializing this weekend. 98 00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:31,923 Damn. 99 00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:34,230 I forgot we had plans. Um... 100 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,232 I'm actually going camping. 101 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,320 Okay. 102 00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:38,887 I'm real sorry. 103 00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:42,151 The invitation kind of came up last minute. 104 00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:46,895 You may not know this, but, um, I love camping. 105 00:04:46,938 --> 00:04:48,592 Really?STURGIS: Yes. 106 00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:51,813 I spent a year backpacking through Asia. 107 00:04:51,856 --> 00:04:54,772 I mean, I'd invite you along, but it's not really my trip. 108 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,907 I'm going with Connie's friend Dale. 109 00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:00,909 Not a problem. 110 00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:03,433 I'll just hang out with another friend this weekend. 111 00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:05,392 Great. 112 00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:08,743 I just need to make one first. 113 00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:10,832 Ballard's. 114 00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,442 Hey, Dale. It's George. 115 00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:15,793 About this weekend, we're gonna have to bow out. 116 00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:18,143 Why? Everything okay? 117 00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:20,450 Yeah. Yeah, I just forgot I made plans with a friend, 118 00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:23,148 and I feel bad canceling last minute. 119 00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:25,194 Hey, can we-- Does he like camping? 120 00:05:25,237 --> 00:05:26,804 Bring-bring him along. 121 00:05:26,848 --> 00:05:30,591 Y-- That might be a little weird. 122 00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:32,810 It-it's Connie's ex. 123 00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:35,683 Boy, he didn't impress me as a camping type. 124 00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:38,250 Well, actually, he was hinting around about going. 125 00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:39,817 Claims to be an outdoorsman. 126 00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:42,690 Really? Hey, I'd like to see that. 127 00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:44,387 Bring him along.You sure? 128 00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:45,823 Yeah. Hell, 129 00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,390 if we get caught in a freak snowstorm, 130 00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:49,174 he'll be the first one we eat. 131 00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:50,915 Be like an appetizer. 132 00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:52,439 Why can't I go fishing? 133 00:05:52,482 --> 00:05:54,092 It's a boys' weekend. 134 00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:55,703 Then why isn't Sheldon going? 135 00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:57,922 Do you hear yourself?Do you? 136 00:05:57,966 --> 00:06:00,316 Well, since they get to do something fun, why can't we? 137 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,492 Ooh, Chuck E. Cheese. 138 00:06:02,536 --> 00:06:04,451 That place is a nightmare. 139 00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:05,930 Something that could be fun is the Museum of... 140 00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:08,368 No.Let him finish. 141 00:06:08,411 --> 00:06:11,153 We already heard "museum." It's not gonna get better. 142 00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:13,547 The Museum of the American Railroad. 143 00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,157 Yeah, that's worse. 144 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,288 Suddenly, camping 145 00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:18,290 with Dr. Sturgis doesn't seem so bad. 146 00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,380 Excuse me-- camping with who? 147 00:06:22,077 --> 00:06:23,948 Whoa. Dale didn't mention it? 148 00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:25,385 No. 149 00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,561 I'm guessing John didn't mention it. 150 00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:29,432 No. 151 00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:31,173 And when were you gonna mention it? 152 00:06:31,216 --> 00:06:33,131 I was never gonna mention it. 153 00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:43,098 So John, I hear you're going camping this weekend. 154 00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:44,404 I am. 155 00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:46,144 With the guy I'm dating. 156 00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:47,494 I know. 157 00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:50,584 It was so nice of him to let me tag along. 158 00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:53,195 And don't you think that's gonna be a little awkward? 159 00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:55,763 No more awkward than any other social situation 160 00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:57,721 I find myself in. 161 00:06:57,765 --> 00:06:59,157 I'm making 162 00:06:59,201 --> 00:07:01,595 my, homemade GORP: 163 00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:04,467 good old raisins and peanuts. 164 00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,164 I'll have to give you the recipe. 165 00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:07,992 I think I can figure it out. 166 00:07:08,036 --> 00:07:10,473 Listen, I want to warn you about Dale. 167 00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:14,477 He's kind of a... guy's guy. 168 00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:18,481 Sometimes his sense of humor can be a little mean-spirited. 169 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:21,310 Just don't let it hurt your feelings. 170 00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:23,355 Well, you don't have to worry about me. 171 00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:27,664 We physicists are no strangers to smack talk. 172 00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:32,016 I once told Dr. Linkletter he wouldn't know a randomized trial 173 00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:34,628 if it crawled up his sphincter. 174 00:07:34,671 --> 00:07:36,368 Do not be a jerk to John. 175 00:07:36,412 --> 00:07:37,761 Why would I be a jerk? 176 00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:39,328 You're gonna be camping. 177 00:07:39,371 --> 00:07:40,764 You're gonna be in the woods. You're gonna be drinking. 178 00:07:40,808 --> 00:07:42,723 You're a jerk without any of that. 179 00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,159 Don't worry. 180 00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:46,161 I know how to get along with people. 181 00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,859 Knowing how and doing it are two different things. 182 00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:51,819 Okay, okay. I-I'll be nice. 183 00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:54,082 Thank you. 184 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:55,823 To your goofy little friend. 185 00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:07,138 That's Dale. We're gonna head out. 186 00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:08,966 Here's some coffee for the road. 187 00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,533 Thanks.Make sure your dad 188 00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:11,795 doesn't drink too many beers. 189 00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:13,275 You're funny. 190 00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:15,582 And make sure your son doesn't drink any beers. 191 00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,279 Got it. I'll finish 'em all. Let's go. 192 00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:22,197 Be safe. Have fun. 193 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,591 I'm free. 194 00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:27,507 This sure is a sweet setup. 195 00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:29,334 Well, now, thank you very much. 196 00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:31,293 This thing is nicer than our house. 197 00:08:31,336 --> 00:08:32,599 It's not nicer than our house. 198 00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:34,209 Well, don't be too sure now. 199 00:08:34,252 --> 00:08:36,864 I got microwave and air-conditioning. 200 00:08:36,907 --> 00:08:39,823 I got a stack of old Playboys back there in the bathroom. 201 00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:41,956 Okay, maybe. 202 00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:44,698 Hey, there's John up here 203 00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:46,830 on the right. 204 00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:49,093 Are you sure that's not a garden gnome? 205 00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:55,012 Missy, how would you feel if there were somewhere 206 00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:57,449 just like Chuck E. Cheese, but instead of pizza and ball pits, 207 00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:59,321 there was locomotives and placards 208 00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:00,540 explaining their history? 209 00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:02,193 That's just the museum. 210 00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:03,978 I didn't think she'd see through that. 211 00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:09,244 So, Johnny, that's quite the outfit you got on there. 212 00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:10,724 Thanks. 213 00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:13,944 I just got one question. Where do the merit badges go? 214 00:09:15,119 --> 00:09:17,339 Because I look like a Boy Scout? 215 00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:19,471 Yeah, that's kind of the joke there. 216 00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:25,129 Well, I accept your jocular insult as a token of bonding. 217 00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:27,001 Well, if you like that one, how about this? 218 00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:29,525 I haven't seen legs that white since... 219 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,441 Hey. Why don't we talk about something else? 220 00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:34,878 George, it's all right. You don't need to protect me. 221 00:09:34,922 --> 00:09:38,099 I can take it, and I can dish it right back. 222 00:09:38,142 --> 00:09:39,579 Yeah? 223 00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:41,015 Well, bring it on, babe. 224 00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:46,803 It would help if I knew a little more about you. 225 00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:49,545 Were you, by chance, a bed wetter? 226 00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:55,420 I know it's been a while, but I really have to talk to you. 227 00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:59,120 I understand you might not want to hear about my dating life, 228 00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:03,603 but if you hadn't died, I wouldn't be in this situation. 229 00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:05,735 So this is on you. 230 00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:14,744 How about a movie?How about the planetarium? 231 00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:15,963 That's like a movie, 232 00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:18,182 where you can see real stars instead of, 233 00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:19,575 I don't know, Gene Kelly? 234 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,403 We're never gonna agree. 235 00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:23,231 Let's just do rock, paper, scissors. 236 00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:25,886 No. Anecdotal evidence suggests that players familiar 237 00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:28,715 with each other will tie 75% of the time 238 00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:30,804 due to the limited number of outcomes. 239 00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:32,893 Well, what if we added a few more choices? 240 00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:36,548 Like, rock, paper, scissors, candy, pony. 241 00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:38,812 Now you're just being silly. 242 00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:39,987 But your idea of a winner-takes-all 243 00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:41,815 competition is a good one. 244 00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:43,425 We just need to come up with something 245 00:10:43,468 --> 00:10:44,992 that is fair to both of us. 246 00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:46,123 Ooh. 247 00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:47,472 What if we list all the spices 248 00:10:47,516 --> 00:10:49,257 in Mom's spice rack alphabetically? 249 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,911 I'll go first. Adobo. 250 00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:53,043 Black pepper. Cinnamon. 251 00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:55,002 Coriander. Cumin. 252 00:10:55,045 --> 00:10:57,178 We're not playing the spice game. 253 00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:58,396 Dill. 254 00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:03,097 So now I have these two guys in my life. 255 00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:06,796 And I know that might sound like bragging, but at my age, 256 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:10,539 if you are single and not hooked to an oxygen tank, 257 00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:13,411 you got to swat 'em away. 258 00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:20,636 I'm still pissed at you for dying. 259 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,595 I'm not gonna just sit at home and miss you. 260 00:11:23,639 --> 00:11:25,685 I mean, you wouldn't want that. 261 00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:29,384 You'd want me to go out and have fun, right? 262 00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:33,693 Take your time, think about it. 263 00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:37,566 Damn, John. 264 00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:40,047 Three already? What are you using for bait? 265 00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,179 I made it myself. It's, 266 00:11:42,223 --> 00:11:46,183 cheese, garlic and a little bit of pig brains. 267 00:11:46,227 --> 00:11:48,925 Pig brains? Where the hell you get pig brains? 268 00:11:48,969 --> 00:11:50,535 From the butcher. 269 00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:53,190 But you get some odd looks when you ask for it. 270 00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:56,628 You get odd looks? I find that hard to believe. 271 00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:57,412 Like this. 272 00:11:59,675 --> 00:12:02,156 I think he's pulling your leg, John. 273 00:12:02,199 --> 00:12:04,985 I see. 274 00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:07,291 Meaning I get odd looks 275 00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:09,293 all the time. 276 00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:11,252 That's funny. 277 00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:13,776 Well, if anyone wants 278 00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:17,258 to try my bait, you're welcome to. 279 00:12:17,301 --> 00:12:18,433 Sure.Yeah, I'll give her a go. 280 00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:19,608 Dale? 281 00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:21,784 No, I think I know how to fish, John. 282 00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:23,612 Really? 'Cause it doesn't look like it. 283 00:12:23,655 --> 00:12:25,048 Well, maybe that's because all your talking 284 00:12:25,092 --> 00:12:26,615 is scaring the fish away. 285 00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:29,792 Evidence suggests your theory is incorrect. 286 00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:33,796 Well, evidence suggests I need another beer. 287 00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:39,628 Not that bad. 288 00:12:39,671 --> 00:12:42,283 That's nice. 289 00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:44,633 You decided to stay home and play a game? 290 00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,069 Nope. We're inventing a new game, 291 00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:48,028 and the winner gets to pick what we do today. 292 00:12:48,071 --> 00:12:49,681 We had to find a way to make sure 293 00:12:49,725 --> 00:12:50,987 that it's completely fair to both of us. 294 00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:52,467 So we made a list of 20 challenges 295 00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:54,382 that combine stuff we're both good at. 296 00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:55,992 Whoever wins each challenge gets to take a block 297 00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:57,385 and put it on top of their tower. 298 00:12:57,428 --> 00:12:59,300 Whoever's tower reaches the height 299 00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:01,650 of this rocket first wins. 300 00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:05,219 Okay, I will leave you to it. 301 00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:08,788 "And finally, both parties agree the loser will do the activity 302 00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:11,442 "selected by the winner graciously, without complaint. 303 00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:13,183 "For the purpose of this agreement, 304 00:13:13,227 --> 00:13:16,012 "a complaint is defined as any disparaging comment, 305 00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:19,015 "eye rolls or name calling, including but not limited to: 306 00:13:19,059 --> 00:13:22,366 'dingus,' 'fartbreath' and 'buttwipe.'" 307 00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:25,108 Can we just sign it and play? 308 00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:27,807 I've signed my name. Feel free to draw an "X." 309 00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:30,853 I know how to write my name, Sheldon. 310 00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,637 Damn it, I wrote "Sheldon." 311 00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:36,424 So, Dale is fun. 312 00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,252 Kind of a good old boy. 313 00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:40,384 Reminds me a bit of you. 314 00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:42,386 He gets on my nerves. 315 00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:46,129 So he kind of reminds me of you. 316 00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:49,089 And John's not anything like you. 317 00:13:49,132 --> 00:13:52,309 He's not anything like anyone. 318 00:13:54,137 --> 00:13:56,313 Maybe that's why I keep thinking about him. 319 00:13:56,357 --> 00:13:58,185 Fun fact: 320 00:13:58,228 --> 00:14:02,102 in Finland, they make a fire that's two long logs 321 00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:04,408 sitting on top of each other with a wedge 322 00:14:04,452 --> 00:14:08,891 of wood in between to let the air flow through. 323 00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:11,067 Aw. That's your idea of fun, is it? 324 00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:13,853 Mind if I grab a beer? 325 00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:15,942 I'm not your father.Hold on. 326 00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:18,292 This young man's underage. 327 00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:20,163 So?So the laws 328 00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:23,036 of Texas are pretty clear on the subject. 329 00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:25,081 What a surprise. There's one more thing 330 00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:27,736 you know more about than everybody else. 331 00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:30,260 I don't know why you're surprised. 332 00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:32,045 I don't know why you're here. 333 00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:35,135 I'm just gonna stick with Dr Pepper. 334 00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:37,877 Why don't you get some more firewood, Georgie? 335 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:38,878 Thank you. 336 00:14:40,183 --> 00:14:43,186 I'm here because my friend George invited me. 337 00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:47,930 Well, your friend George invited you 338 00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,889 because he felt sorry for you. 339 00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:54,981 You know, Connie warned me you might behave like this, 340 00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:57,592 and she-she was right. 341 00:14:57,635 --> 00:15:00,290 I don't know why the hell she ever went out with you. 342 00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:04,294 Well, she did, and we got along famously. 343 00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:07,907 Until you broke up with her after you got out of... 344 00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:09,560 Out of what? 345 00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:12,824 Say it! 346 00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:17,960 Never mind. 347 00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:20,397 Damn. Piddled on my shoe. 348 00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:22,138 What'd I miss? 349 00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:26,360 So enough about me. How about you? 350 00:15:26,403 --> 00:15:29,841 You got your wings yet, or is that just in the movies? 351 00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:31,843 It's a Wonderful Life. 352 00:15:31,887 --> 00:15:34,020 That's one of my favorites. 353 00:15:34,063 --> 00:15:36,109 Sorry. I didn't see you. 354 00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:37,545 I'll keep it down. 355 00:15:37,588 --> 00:15:39,764 No, it's all right. I... 356 00:15:39,808 --> 00:15:42,376 talk to my wife all the time. 357 00:15:42,419 --> 00:15:43,812 I'm Kenneth. 358 00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:46,728 This is Vanessa. 359 00:15:46,771 --> 00:15:49,426 Connie. This is Charlie. 360 00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:52,429 I'd introduce them, but they're neighbors. 361 00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:54,040 They probably know each other. 362 00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:58,044 Well, if he complains about someone snoring, 363 00:15:58,087 --> 00:16:00,133 I'm sure it's her. 364 00:16:00,176 --> 00:16:03,005 I didn't bury him with his hearing aid, so he's fine. 365 00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:06,661 Well, you know what? I'll, um... 366 00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:10,882 I'll come back in a few minutes, and let you finish your chat. 367 00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:12,449 Really nice meeting you, Connie. 368 00:16:12,493 --> 00:16:13,885 You, too. 369 00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,151 You see? 370 00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:20,370 Got to swat 'em away. 371 00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:24,244 Okay. Each player alternates 372 00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:25,941 naming a state while Hula-Hooping. 373 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,290 The first player who can't name a state 374 00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:28,900 or drops the Hula-Hoop loses. 375 00:16:28,944 --> 00:16:30,119 Ready, 376 00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:31,729 set, 377 00:16:31,773 --> 00:16:32,774 go. 378 00:16:32,817 --> 00:16:34,384 Texas. 379 00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:35,603 Darn it. 380 00:16:35,646 --> 00:16:36,604 So I won? 381 00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:38,127 Yes. 382 00:16:38,171 --> 00:16:40,564 Good. 'Cause I was just gonna say "Texas" again. 383 00:16:54,578 --> 00:16:56,102 One, two, three, four. 384 00:16:56,145 --> 00:16:57,886 I declare a thumb war. 385 00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:15,251 Hey, that was some good catfish. 386 00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:17,862 Yeah. Real good. 387 00:17:21,214 --> 00:17:22,606 Gentlemen. 388 00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,828 I'm no longer enjoying this outing, 389 00:17:26,871 --> 00:17:28,395 so I'm going home. 390 00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:30,049 See ya.H-Hang on, Dale. 391 00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:32,181 John, y-- wait, you can't just leave. 392 00:17:32,225 --> 00:17:33,487 We're in the middle of nowhere. 393 00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:34,966 Not a problem. 394 00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:39,493 I have my compass, a flashlight and half a bag of GORP. 395 00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:40,842 No, wait, wait. 396 00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:43,540 Please.Let him go, George. 397 00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:46,108 You want to tell Connie you lost her old boyfriend in the woods? 398 00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:47,936 Well, he's a grown man for crying out loud. 399 00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:49,372 Let him do what he wants. 400 00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,200 Well, that's an argument for me having a beer. 401 00:17:51,244 --> 00:17:52,636 Shut up. Come on, Dale. 402 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,595 Do the right thing. Tell him to stay. 403 00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:57,859 Fine. 404 00:17:57,902 --> 00:17:59,469 John? 405 00:18:00,514 --> 00:18:02,472 Damn. 406 00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:05,127 John! 407 00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:07,912 Boy, for a little guy, he's fast, ain't he? 408 00:18:16,747 --> 00:18:17,835 I win. 409 00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,620 You can't set it that way. 410 00:18:19,663 --> 00:18:21,143 Does it say that in the rules? 411 00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:23,102 Well, no. 412 00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:24,581 And is this your signature? 413 00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:25,669 Yes, but... 414 00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:27,497 Mom, we're going to Chuck E. Cheese! 415 00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,978 We're not going anywhere. It's almost your bedtime. 416 00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:32,502 Sorry, hon. 417 00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:38,247 Well, all that matters is that I'm the winner. 418 00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:40,945 Yes, you are. 419 00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:43,034 Actually, I was the winner. 420 00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:45,907 We spent the whole day doing everything I love: 421 00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:48,736 drafting contracts, arguing about rules, 422 00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:52,043 and most importantly, never leaving the house. 423 00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:59,790 Come on.I don't want to. 424 00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:00,922 Just one more time. 425 00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:03,533 Fine. 426 00:19:03,577 --> 00:19:06,188 Rock, paper, scissors, candy, pony! 427 00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:08,799 Rock trips pony. I win. 428 00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:09,800 How do you keep winning? 429 00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:11,367 You keep picking pony. 430 00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:20,202 GORP? 431 00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:29,211 Captioning sponsored by CBS 432 00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:34,434 WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 433 00:19:34,477 --> 00:19:36,610 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 30317

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