Original subtitles

Dog Swamp.

Please play.

For old time's sake.

and then we can fuck.

Hi, Dad. I just wanted to say, it's not your fault.

- Please, Lucky. Can we just go? - No... you're on your own tonight!

Oh shit.

I wasn't gonna jump off the cliff!

- Well what the hell's this about then? - It's Matty's!

- I'm so sorry. - Why? Did you tie the rope?

Meg? Are you 13?

- I could end up in jail for this, Meg. - You're a selfish fucking prick.

You need to come home. Everyone makes mistakes.

Meg!

JEN: Toby, just don't walk through the flowers.

YOUNG TOBY: That's my room!

DAD: Tobes, just go back out to the car and get some more boxes.

YOUNG LUCKY: Why is Grandma's piano still here?

JEN: Well, she couldn't take it to the nursing home,

so she said we could keep it.

Isn't that great?

It's a bit sad, actually.

JEN: Yeah, it is a bit, but she knows that we'll look after it for her.

YOUNG TOBY: ♪ I'm still standing, yeah yeah yeah! ♪

- JEN: Toby! - DAD: Aw, mate, settle. Just settle down.

TOBY: ♪ Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind ♪

JEN: Oh, for God's sake.

You... lying... selfish...

TOBY: Fucking cunt!

LUCKY: No! No no no, Toby!

Where... is... my... fucking... piano?

I'm gonna fucking kill you, you little shit!

- Hey. - Ah, Jesus, mate!

WOMAN: Where'd you come from?

Syd... Sydney.

- That'd be right. - Can I...

have some water, please?

If you don't mind girl-germs.

You look like you've been hit by a truck.

The little shit stole my piano.

Really? Cheeky bugger! Let's have a look then, shall we?

Nope. No piano here. Just this little fella.

You coming?

So, you one of those Jesus followers?

Sorry?

Blokes who go wandering through the desert,

'cos they wanna be like Jesus.

You know, 40 days and whatnot.

See if God saves them.

No, I...

This girl took off and left me.

Break-ups are hard.

So you like unicorns, do ya?

- What? - My kids love 'em.

Unicorns, and mixed martial arts.

No, I... I just...

It's a sign!

What is?

People nick 'em. Tourists, mostly.

Take 'em back to wherever they come from.

Look what I brought back from Down Under!

A kangaroo, a wombat, a camel.

[LAUGHS] All fun and games,

but then no-one know what's up ahead, do they?

They're not gonna know what's coming,

Wait. Woah, woah, where are we going?

Wirrulla, Poochera, Minnipa, Wudinna, Koongawa, Warramboo,

KFC, and then home for Game of Thrones.

No. No, I need to get out. Can you pull over, please?

- You sure? - I have to keep going west.

My mum's...

waiting.

- Sorry, little guy. - Rightio.

Hop out then.

Not you.

- Here, we don't need burnt soles! - Thank you.

You better take this too. You don't wanna be drinking your own piss.

- No. - [LAUGHS]

Thanks, for...

- everything. - No worries.

Don't get lost!

You're fucking kidding me.

[DOES ZIP UP SLOWLY]

Fuck off.

[SQUEAKS NERVOUSLY] Oh fuck, oh fuck...

Argh!!

What... the... fuck?

I wasn't doing anything!

I stood still, you little bastard. Isn't that the deal?

I stand still and you don't bite me? Fuck!

Argh!

What do I do? What do I do?

Do I suck it, or... tourniquet? Do I suck it, or tourniquet?

Do I suck it?

[SHOUTS] Do I suck it or tourniquet it, you slimy fucking prick?

[STRUGGLES AND STRAINS TO REACH ANKLE]

Fuck!

Fuck!

I've been bitten by a snake! [SHOUTS] I've been bitten by a snake!

[STARTS HEARING VOICES]

JEN: It's yours anyway, it always was.

MEG: Hey, Lucky!

YOUNG TOBY: ♪ I'm still standing after all this time ♪

YOUNG LUCKY: I can't do it!

JEN: Just give it time.

JEN: You don't just give up, do you?

JEN: Lucky.

Mum.

What are you doing here?

I'm late. I'm sorry.

It's the fucking kid, she took Gran's piano, Mum.

She took our piano and I don't know where she is.

She could be anywhere.

I was bringing it home because I thought...

thought it'd be nice to...

be nice to bring her something.

But now I don't have anything.

Toby doesn't wanna see me, of course he doesn't. He hates me.

Everybody hates me.

And now I don't... I've got nothing... to give.

So, I think maybe I'll just go back.

I... I think I'll just go back.

And I can't face them.

I can't face...

you.

I'm sorry, Mum.

I'm such a fucking selfish...

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Holy shit, mate. Thought you were a bloody big red!

MAN 2: What have we got here?

- G'day Barry! - G'day Joselito!

Hella great place for a kip, mate. What happened?

LUCKY: I was bitten by a snake.

BARRY: That's no good. What sort of snake?

LUCKY: Err, it was long, and scaly, and kind of brown.

Oh! Sounds like a brown snake.

JOSELITO: Yeah... but was it a Western Brown or Eastern Brown?

I don't know... what's the difference?

JOSELITO: Well top-to-tail mate, your symptoms are the same.

Only difference is, Western: you survive, Eastern: you die.

Right. Okay, could one of you guys take me to a hospital?

JOSELITO: Ah, not many where I'm headed.

Nearest hospital is east... Ceduna.

- Barry, drop him off? - Yeah, no worries.

Good on ya, mate. See yas later!

Thanks.

Come on mate. Let's get a wriggle on.

LUCKY: Thanks. Sorry.

BARRY: This bloody road, eh?

Yesterday I saw a bloke dragging a crucifix up there.

This morning I see a midget in a Ute with a bloody piano on the back.

And now, I find a hippie pretending to be roadkill.

- All I need now is... - Wait!

- Hey! Where are you going? - Wait! Stop!

BARRY: What are ya doing, ya bloody idiot?

Thank you... thank you...

["SANDSTORM" BY DARUDE PLAYING]

Want me to suck it for you?

What?

The snake bite! I can suck it, if you like. [LAUGHS]

Just kidding, mate! Sucking doesn't really work.

You know, that's just in the movies.

It's like the pissing on the jellyfish sting, you know?

Some pervert probably made it up getting his rocks off.

Jubba jub?

Mate! You're lucky I stopped for ya. This is me, see?

Joselito Mabelissa. Most reliable driver, 4 years running.

Mostly nothing stops me. Not dead kangaroos, not broken-down cars,

not even a full bladder. Look!

You got any jellyfish sting on ya? [LAUGHS]

Hey, you like red liquorice? I've got 8 tonnes of it back there.

Due in Freo tomorrow, and I will be there because I have integrity!

My integrity is the only thing that will get me to where I gotta be.

And meth amphetamine. Meth amphetamine also helps!

[SOUNDS HORN AS HE OVERTAKES] Oh... Jesus...

Relax, Mad Max. You've got a lot of venom inside you.

Here! Benzos. Careful... enough there to kill a camel.

Aye, easy, easy.

Let me put some meditative music on.

Ah, some purrs, some waterfalls...

- So. You play? - What?

- The piano. Do you play? - Not much.

- Not anymore. - Why'd you stop playing? Were you shit?

I just...

I wasn't enjoying it anymore.

- Lost the love. - So ?

I don't like red liquorice. Doesn't matter. It's not for me.

It's so straight.

800km and only one bend. It's amazing how many people miss it.

["Don't Get around Much Anymore" on piano]

♪ Missed the Saturday dance ♪

♪ Heard they crowded the floor ♪

♪ Couldn't bear it without you ♪

♪ Don't get around much anymore ♪

♪ Thought I'd visit the club ♪

♪ Got as far as the door ♪

[PLAYS WRONG NOTES]

I can't do it!

- Yes you can! Come on, I've heard you... - My fingers don't move that fast.

Hey... we don't give up, do we? Come on, try again. Come on.

♪ Thought I'd visit the club ♪

♪ Got as far as the door ♪

[GET IT WRONG AGAIN]

- I can't do it! - Lucky!

Joselito?

If I fall asleep, what I don't wake up?

Well... if you don't wake up,

then it was definitely an Eastern Brown.

♪ If half of what I'm saying, of what I'm saying is true ♪

♪ Will you rub my head, make it all shiny and new?

♪ And you drag my coat tails, drag my coat tails down ♪

♪ And I'll be the only cold-assed king around ♪

♪ If you wait, I'll give all my... ♪

[REWINDS SONG]

♪ If you wait... ♪

Oh, my...

What is that word?

Matty, what is that stupid word?

Is it "eggs"?

It sounds like "eggs", like... [CHUCKLES]

Like... like maybe he loved her so much

that he put all his eggs in her basket.

I hate you for what you did, Matty.

You're such a selfish, fucking... [GASPS]

Aches.

It's "aches". "I'll give all my aches to you".

Look out, Meggles.

[SCREAMS]

Woah, woah, woah, easy there Lucky, uh?

It was just a roo, mate, You know, just a kangaroo.

- Did you see a... - No no no, we haven't passed any Utes,

I haven't seen any upright pianos. Here. Promise, huh?

You feel better?

Yeah, a little bit.

Go Western Browns, huh?

[LAUGHS] All right, what have we got here?

We got Toto, we got Hall and Oates, we got Chapon Dura...

Stop, stop. Stop, please stop!

- Hey, you know I can't stop... - Please, Joselito! Please!

Just stop here. I'll be fine. I promise.

LUCKY: Thank you, sorry, thank you!

Oh! Oh fuck!

No...

Meg?

Meg!

You okay?

I swerved...

[CAMEL GROANS]

What's a camel doing on the Nullabor Plain?

- There are signs... - Well, I didn't see any!

- He's not going to last long. - No, I can't leave him.

Don't make me leave him, please.

- Meg, come on, please. - No.

I found him.

What do you mean?

I found him and I tr... I tried to get him down,

or like hold him up, but I couldn't,

he was... he was so heavy. I... I couldn't do it.

I couldn't do it.

[ANGRILY] I hate him for what he did!

I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!

[CAMEL CRIES IN PAIN]

He's hurting.

No...

- [CAMEL WHIMPERS] - Shh shh...

That's it...

Thank you.

Sorry, little guy.

MEG: I wonder what his name was.

- I reckon, maybe Craig. - [LUCKY LAUGHS]

[SIGHS]

MEG: Play something.

LUCKY: What?

- Now? - It's a funeral.

There should be music to celebrate his life. That's what music's for.

- The piano's completely... - You played to root that old lady in the car,

so you can fucking well play for Craig.

[STRAINS TO LIFT PIANO]

What do you want me to play?

Something appropriate.

♪ My humps. My humps, my humps, my humps ♪

♪ My little camel... ♪

- Too soon? - Little bit.

♪ If they would let me trade ♪

♪ I'd give a year for half a day, just ♪

♪ Curled up... on... the sofa with... you ♪

♪ We wander down to Cottesloe ♪

♪ Eat fish'n'chips... in the final glow, and ♪

♪ Hold my breath, for I forgive you. ♪

♪ Sometimes I feel you with me in the dark ♪

♪ And your face is in the faces ♪

♪ Of the strangers walking by me in the park ♪

♪ And reflected in your eyes ♪

♪ Is all my love and all my lies ♪

♪ Is all my promise and my pride ♪

♪ Is all my fear and all my fight ♪

♪ Is all my dread and my denial ♪

♪ So though we cannot be together ♪

♪ I know that I will carry you ♪

♪ Wherever I go ♪

♪ I will carry you ♪

♪ Lord knows ♪

♪ I will carry you ♪

♪ I will carry you ♪

♪ And reflected in your eyes ♪

♪ Is all my love and all my lies ♪

♪ Is all my promise and my pride ♪

♪ Is all my fear and all my fight ♪

♪ Is all my dread and my denial ♪

♪ So though we cannot be together ♪

♪ I know that I will carry you ♪

♪ Wherever I go ♪

♪ I will carry you ♪

♪ Lord knows ♪

♪ I will carry you ♪

♪ I will carry you ♪