Original subtitles

'The Captain from Koepenick

Slowly, Wilhelm! I can't keep up with you.

You want to follow them, with your bow legs?

Not after 1 0 years in prison, and all that watery soup.

What's so good about the army anyway?

That's for little kids and servants, not for a man of quality.

Kalle, just look at those army boots, and the officers' shiny leathers.

I could do that. I learned machine work in the workshop.

Don't you start with work, it ruins the character.

If only they'd let me, I'd soon have my own workshop.

Come to the ''Drunk Dog'', it'll help raise our spirits.

Then we'll find a man in ''Cafe Dalles'' who needs boys to keep look-out.

No, I'm through with that. You'll just go to the dogs.

Count me out, I want to work.

There you can count me out, Wilhelm.

Bye then, Kalle. Don't get yourself caught.

Where are you going?

There's something wrong with it, I can feel it. - It's new, that's all.

Don't contradict me, measure the buttons. - But Captain!

In the army, your lip would have got you into big trouble.

Don't upset yourself, Captain. There's no better tailor in Germany!

Mr Wormser, something is not right with this uniform.

Such material! I reserve it exclusively for princes.

Like a freshly-brushed horse's bottom.

The backside buttons contravene the regulations.

But Captain, were you born with backside buttons?

Wabschke, I've been telling you for 20 years, any lip and you're fired!

Willy, get me the measurement book.

And straighten up! Otherwise you'll never get into the army.

What does the man at the door want? Go see, Willy.

Strictly speaking, you're right here, Captain.

To be shot by you would be a pleasure! You'd hit the leg of a flea.

The buttons are an eighth of an inch too far apart.

I told you, I can feel it.

What do you want?

You delivering something? - I just wanted to inquire ... - Out!

No begging, busking or hawking! Outrageous!

In my shop, in broad daylight!

Wormser, have the buttons re-sewn.

As you wish, Captain. A pleasure.

Willy, straighten up! Look at the captain here. A fine figure of a man!

And why is that? Because he stands up straight!

You were unlucky. It can happen to anyone.

But the journeymen are all about position these days.

All in the Warrior Society, always going on about the honour of a trade.

They'd drive you out. There'd be no point.

I'm sorry, but without a residence permit ...

Try your luck in industry, they're more liberal there.

''When my wife gets undressed, what a mess ...

Legs like two sticks, they send you into fits...''

Did you serve? - Yes! - Where? - The Leibregiment.

A Bavarian! And when was that?

From '89 to '91 . - Fine! We can do something for you.

Your papers? ''Legs like two poles ...''

In order! Start tomorrow morning at 7.

Axelotti shoe factory, Tempelhof.

Schmielke, when you talk in a military fashion,

you get all the information. - Yes, sir.

Did you serve? - I'm a trained machinist.

Where were you posted? - At my workbench.

Weren't you ever a soldier? - I never got around to it.

Ah ... a criminal record.

I wanted to tell you first. I hear that industry is more liberal.

I can't give you work without papers.

I can't get papers without work ...

Everyone has to keep his muster roll in perfect order.

If you'd served, you'd know that.

I thought this was a factory, not a barracks.

Outrageous! Get out!

Come back when you've got work,

then I can give you residence papers.

What a vicious circle: no papers without work, no work without papers.

Should have thought of that before!

Once you get onto the wrong track ... - Right!

What's right? - That thing about the wrong track.

Like a louse on a pane of glass: keeps crawling up and slipping down.

They're old sayings. I know 'em all.

And what are you doing here in Rixdorf with these notions of yours?

My sister Marie lives here.

And I was thinking, maybe ... But I don't really dare go there.

I've got your personal file here now.

Forging postal certificates, 15 years.

I was just a young whippersnapper, Constable. That's over now.

It's never over, you understand?

What's written down here

will stick to you like the nose on your face.

I was going with this girl, and I could never buy her anything.

And the big spenders stole her away from me.

So you went out and plundered the Kaiser's postal service?

It was only 300 marks. I thought it wouldn't hurt such a big business.

And I got 15 years!

Bit much for such a young lad. - That's not for you to judge.

After serving your first sentence you went abroad.

What did you do there? - I worked. Did pretty well.

I was in Bohemia and in Bucharest.

So why didn't you stay there? - I was stupid.

But a man has his mother tongue, Constable.

Even if he's got nothing else.

I longed for home

and I didn't want to be buried in foreign soil.

You wouldn't believe how beautiful Germany is

when you're far away and can think of nothing else. - So,

then you committed another offence. 10 years for forging a passport.

What were you thinking? - I was trying to tear my nose off my face.

What? - Just like you said.

I couldn't get by as Wilhelm Voigt, so I tried it as Friedrich Schroder.

And look where it got you! - I didn't know the ropes.

Come back when you've got work.

But I can't get work without papers. It's a merry-go-round!

Then give me a passport so I can leave the beloved fatherland.

We're not responsible for passports. You have to contact your municipality.

No, Wilhelm, we're through with you.

No one knows you, you're finished.

But this is my home town. This is where I was born.

I must be in the baptismal register.

Move on to the next town! Your home town is ashamed of you.

I'm not looking for a memorial, I just want my jurisdiction.

Impertinent fellow!

We don't want any layabouts around here.

I don't want to stay here.

I want a passport so I can leave. You have to give me one.

You have to! - I’ll show you what I’ll give you!

Tiraz, attack!

Take a step back! Never heard of official secrets?

Sorry, Constable. - Sergeant! - Sorry. Sergeant.

I'm short-sighted, but I think you've got everything I need in there.

I can't get residence papers or work, so I need a passport to get away!

Don't get all excited now.

I'm not! But there must be some place where I belong.

Then try to be an upright person!

If you want to find work, you will. I can't give you a passport.

And now it's closing time. - Then I’ll tell you what to do.

Send me straight back to prison! - Get out of here!

I'm going.

I'm going.

Where should I go?

No bars on the window and no guard. And a child could open the cabinet.

Wilhelm, what do you want from the police station in Potsdam?

There's nothing there. - There's everything you need to live:

a cabinet full of stamps and official papers.

Help me, Kalle. I can't get in on my own. I need a passport.

ls there a cash box there too?

Kalle!

Kalle, are you asleep?

If there's no cash box ...

You can keep the cash box.

I just want a passport.

I just want to get away.

Away.

Kalle, you hear me?

I can't sleep at all. I can't stop thinking about it.

Kalle, don't let me down.

I need a passport.

I have to get away.

Away.

Now you'll hear the sheep bleat: ''We come to pray ...''

Not so loud, Kalle. - Mr. Nice Guy!

I'd like to push my bare behind

right into the face of this bourgeois lot here.

Then you'd get it thrashed down at the police station.

Don't get us noticed. We have a job to do. - If there's a cash box.

Man, take a look at her!

Have you no blood in your veins?

Come on, Kalle. This round is on me.

I didn't think I'd make that shot with a bit of left-hand spin.

Appropriate for a Prussian Captain of the Guards.

Shhh, we're incognito here.

Why, it's a respectable house here.

But off limits for the army. - Don't you take that too seriously?

An officer has a responsibility to the public, said my old man.

No dust on the uniform: a life's work.

Want a beer?

Today ...

Today ... - What about today?

It's Sunday, there's no guard. You just have to help me in.

Fine, if there's a cash box ...

About ten, after the last post. - Madame,

the early bird makes work for idle hands.

You mean the devil catches the worm. - She's alright, that chick!

It'll cost a bit, though. - We can pool our money, right?

So, honey, you like what you see?

Thanks, cutie. Here's to your health.

Well?

Hmm?

Nice to be a civilian now and then. Hello, doll. Hello, Olympia.

I don't know, it's all a bit sordid. - Hello, Henny.

How do you know the ladies? - From the hospital. Health check-ups.

And there's the pleurisy chick.

You want to haggle? On Sunday morning, when good folk go to church?

You're out of the question anyway, with those Egyptian eyes of yours.

If I go with anyone, I go with him.

A fine man. One can talk seriously with a man who wears glasses.

You can't do it, Wilhelm. We have to stick together.

''We're starting out for home ...''

August, stop! - ''with a reservist's stick ...''

Pull yourself together, you're still a soldier!

I don't give a damn! My two years are up tomorrow!

Waiter, two large ''Jilkas''. -August, you're still a soldier.

Come over here, darlin'.

You two are too meagre for me. I'm off to the garde-Du-corps.

Not on the chair, on my lap. I've got lovely pointy knees.

You're still a soldier. - I don't give a damn.

Outrageous! A man from the 3rd Guards on foot!

Don't get involved, Schlettow. - I can't just stand here and watch!

You see? As soon as a uniform turns up, our game's up.

We'll see about that!

No, no! The way you look is how they treat you.

Get your hands off her, she's mine. - You've got a screw loose!

The lady was sat at my table.

You want me to snap your little legs?

I’ll smash your head down so far you'll look out like a caged monkey!

You'll pay for that! Here!

I'll run you through, you ...

August, be sensible! - Pull yourself together, soldier.

That's right, I'm a soldier. So mind who you're talking to!

Get out of here! I'm a captain in the first regiment.

Anyone can say that. You look like a dumb civilian to me.

Get a grip on yourself! -A dumb civilian.

Go home and get changed,

then you can tell order me about. - Forward ... march!

You get your hands off me! - Police! Police!

August!

August! August!

Stop, damn it!

You're still a soldier!

August! August! -Arrest him!

Come on, both of you! - I'm a captain. 1 st Regiment.

Without your stripes you're just a dumb civilian!

He just says he's a captain.

That was a punch-up, so you're both coming in.

Constable! Constable! He really is a captain!

He'll be pleased with himself. No more uniform now.

August, don't ruin everything. You're still a soldier.

The way you look is how they treat you.

So, tonight at ten after the last post.

What's wrong?

Ow!

Open it up.

Quiet.

Where's the cash box, then? Where could it be?

Turn the light on.

Are you mad? - I can't write in the dark.

What is it?

Build: medium. Face: pale. Hair: greying. Eyes ...

God, colour are my eyes? - Why don't you write it at home?

And the stamps? - Take them as well. - They need them here tomorrow.

There it is.

''Contents taken for Sunday.'' Shit!

Shit, damn it! - I'll write ''grey.''

Hell! The cops! - Hands up!

Watch out, pal!

Damned scoundrel!

Ow! You'll break my arm! I’ll have you for assault!

You want to travel? No problem. Tomorrow at five in the black maria.

All aboard! Alexanderplatz, then off to Plotze prison.

You can have a 10-year holiday there.

Look, Guste! The little fella is a dangerous one!

How do you know? - You can see it.

Look, he's a real nutcase! He's blubberin'.

Come on, come on, move it!

When you try this on, it won't feel strange any more.

Give it here. - This isn't a uniform, it's a work of art, Captain.

It's a part of the body, this is. A second skin, if you will.

There you have it.

It sits perfectly now. - Yes, everything's perfect.

So ...

Give it to Wormser. He can take it on commission.

But Captain! - Change of plan. An inheritance.

A small farm. A fine profession. No more uniform for me!

You shouldn't take that business in the cafe to heart, Captain.

But I want to, Wabschke. - The army is fine,

but it's not everything. The sun rises every morning.

And if you're young and your bones are straight ...

The main thing is to be human. - It's alright, Wabschke.

Thanks, Captain.

I mean, the main thing is to be human, right?

Maybe.

No!

Yuck!

Willy, what are you reading? What's your interest in culture?

Keep your mind on the business!

''The Weavers,'' a social drama by Gerhard Hauptmann.

How dare he have a name that carries rank!

Hello, Fahnrich. Hello, Guste.

Hello, Daddy. Thank you, Schleinitz. It was a great match!

Thank you, Miss, my pleasure. I look forward to a rematch.

I like you better as a cuirassier. You're only a half-pint in civvies.

Tomorrow morning for a ride in the Tiergarten! Ln uniform!

Gentlemen!

Lazy pup. You watch him, he's just after a dowry.

Mind you don't get yourself engaged!

With Schleinitz?. I wasn't born yesterday.

Morning, Mr Wormser. - Morning ... what was the name again?

Obermuller, Doctor Obermuller from ... - ... Koepenick, of course!

Are congratulations in order? - They certainly are. I've been ...

... promoted to Lieutenant of the reserves. You'll be wanting ...

Yes, an officer's uniform!

With all the trimmings. - Yes.

And as soon as possible, if you can manage that.

My mother-in-law is coming to visit. -And how proud she'll be!

Wabschke, the measuring tape! Willy, the measurements. And straighten up!

Morning! - Morning, Wabschke.

Evolution begins with the private; humankind with the lieutenant!

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

But it flatters the ear, Lieutenant. 32 ... 64 ...

You're a public servant, right?

A local official, that's all.

But I hope that, within the progressive people's party,

I can contribute to Germany's welfare. - That's right.

I think I have something for you!

If you need a uniform urgently,

try this one on. It was for a captain.

He had to resign, got into a punch-up.

It's brand new. - I didn't want a used one.

Fits like a glove, like custom-made.

A little bit here, and here ... Doctor, you must take it!

This cloth, this shine ... You'll feel like a king.

And it's cheaper too.

Not bad. A uniform gives one a decisive lift.

You'll still be wearing it when you're mayor of Koepenick!

Please, Mr Wormser, that's all long way off yet.

So let me conclude this happy vision of the future

with the uplifting hope that in this new century,

our small, aspiring town of Koepenick,

of which I am mayor ...

Our town, which stands before Berlin,

in the shadow of the metropolis,

shall become a talking point of the world ... - Bravo!

... and that its name shall bring fame and honour

to the German people as it achieves eminence

far beyond its borders.

Ladies and gentlemen,

His Majesty, our Kaiser and King,

our bringer of Peace and Commander-in-Chief. Hurrah!

Hurrah! - Hurrah!

Hurrah!

''Hail to thee in victor's laurels,

Ruler of the Fatherland,

Hail, Kaiser, thee!''

''lf you want to be a soldier, You have to carry a gun.

You have to carry a gun, And load your gun with powder ...''

''Right wheel! March! Unit halt!

Fix bayonets! Right wheel! March! ...''

Well, Wilhelm, you'll soon know that inside out.

Do you want to sign up as an officer cadet when you get out?

I've read all the books in the library.

I know the ''Christian Youth'' backwards.

Now the Prussian Service Regulations? -A man learns what he can.

And he can do what he's learnt.

''The officer is legitimised by his insignia.

An order at arms gives him absolute command.'' Ah ...

Not bad.

Voigt, let your hair grow. You're getting out soon.

You're getting 3 months off for good behaviour. - Thank you.

After 12 years in jail your heart must be leaping!

It doesn't leap so much any more. I've been inside too often, too long.

At least in here you know where you belong.

''God has led us here

Through his great goodness.

Night and day, all the way,

He has kept our hearts and souls.

To here

He had led me.

Till here

He has kept me joyful.

To here

He has helped me ...''

Since today is a high holiday, instead of a sermon you, will be given

teachings of the Fatherland by the Director personally.

Who was that?

I would hope that that was an expression of sincere joy.

Attention!

Morning, men! - Morning, Director!

Count! - One! - Two! - Three! - Four! - Five! - Six! - Seven ...

63! - 64! - 65! - 66! - 67! - 68! - 69! - 70! - 71 !

72! - That was perfect today. Sit!

1 to 18: cavalry. 19 to 36: artillery.

37 to 72: infantry.

As you know, today is the day of the battle of Sedan.

60 million

German hearts are leaping for joy.

As you know, it was my great fortune, in the war of 1870,

to stand on this very day before the enemy.

The great fortune of being able serve in war for the Fatherland

does not fall to every generation.

But even between wars, our People's Army has a great mission.

I have always striven to help those who did not have the honour

of serving in the army to obtain in this place of learning

an insight into the workings of our army.

How many companies make up a complete regiment? Pudritzki!

It ... it varies, Director.

Oh nonsense! You'll never learn!

Who knows?

Bulcke! - Request permission to step out.

You'll have to wait until we storm latitude 701 . - Yes, sir.

Thank you, Voigt,

but I've a harder question for you. What is a cavalry division?

An autonomous formation under direct command of the army

consisting of 3 cavalry regiments supported by the field artillery!

Bravo, Voigt.

As you know, I had the honour

of participating in the storming of latitude 701 .

This did not decide the war, but it contributed to the war's outcome.

Warden Lorenz, organise 8 men, with 2 of each type of troop.

One, two! One, two!

One, two! One ... two!

Step out!

Bulcke, you mark the Bavarian Cavalry Division! Voigt!

As you are getting out tomorrow, you shall lead the assault regiments.

The two behind you represent the West-Prussian Grenadier Regiments.

Here ...

Not there, over here. This is an incline. This is a swamp.

This here is the enemy's main body. This is latitude 701 .

While the cavalry is advancing at a trot ... Come on, trot!

Voigt, what are you doing?

I am at the ready, with one regiment fanning out.

I will give the command with my staff trumpet.

Bravo! You have grasped the situation as though you had been present.

How do you know this? - Right wheel! March!

Forwards! - What's this?

Voigt, where are you marching to?

I am letting the reserve regiment chow down!

They'll be fresh with full bellies. - Very good, Voigt. Exemplary!

You've paid attention here. All this will help you

in your later life. - Yes, Director!

And now: Cavalry at a gallop! To the attack!

Forward ... march!

Who is missing? - First Lieutenant Obermuller from Koepenick.

He has to go to the command post!

Potsdam! Potsdam!

324, Wormser!

Have you got it? Where's Fanny?

Thundering heavens! The silly goose is still in bed!

Go shave, you'll never be ready. Potsdam 324!

How can I, with Wormser letting me down?

I'll have to wear the old uniform. I can't stand naked before the Kaiser!

There you are, Fanny! Bring the uniform at once!

It's not there yet. - The old one, for heaven's sake.

The old one! - I thought ... - Don't think, run!

ls that Wormser? Mayor Obermuller here . No ...

Give it here! Wormser uniform outfitters in Potsdam?

You promised me my uniform for three in the morning! What?

What? That's not Wormser. That's not Wormser!

That's not Wormser?. - No.

Come on, Fanny! Give us a hand!

This is unheard of! - Give me your gown.

No! The trousers first!

In there. Be careful! - I've got it!

One thing at a time.

What's ...

The other arm. Fine.

I'll do the collar.

Slowly. Ouch! - Ouch what? You've put on weight.

The material has shrunk. I weigh the same as I did years ago.

Right! - Now pull it in. Pull it in!

That's the end of that.

Potsdam 324!

Pull yourself together now!

It's all pointless now.

I shouldn't have signed up. It was your feminine vanity ...

So now it's my fault? Potsdam!

324!

I'll report sick, tell them it was a sudden cold ...

Or ... my heart. I'll tell them

a sudden heart attack. The heart is better, right?

The children! Why are you awake?

How can we sleep with this racket?

Back to bed! Right now!

It rang! - Rang? How come? It rang!

The taxi's waiting! The meter is on 1 7.50!

I knew that Wormser wouldn't let me down!

Outrageous! The uniform was ordered for 12!

But what would your husband want with it at midnight?

Quiet, for heaven's sake! - Helmut!

What do you say, Tildchen? - Wonderful! Hubert!

Now the mayor looks like an officer!

Should I look like a postman?

Come on! Got my watch? But I have to get money.

Wabschke, are you coming? - I’ll take the steam train.

Your Sabre! Your Sabre! - Oh yes, give it here!

Good bye. Victory! Hip hip ... - Hurrah!

That was a lot of work. We sewed all night through.

Here. Greetings to Mr Wormser. This is a down payment.

It might do for a masked ball.

''When the autumn leaves flutter and the starlings fly,

I am restless as the wind to go out into the world.

But I don't take up my satchel. Why should I go?

Even in Neuruppin I'm homesick for Berlin.

Berlin, I can't forget you,

wherever I may be.

I don't like the schnapps, I don't like the food,

unless I'm in Berlin.

The Berlin wit, the Berlin girls,

the Berlin air in Grunewald ...

The warmest sun in other towns

only leaves me cold ...''

Mrs Hoprecht, Mrs Hoprecht! There's someone at the door. A man!

Go in, there's a draught here. You should stay in bed.

What do you want?

You've changed, Marie.

The cheek! How dare you!

Who are you, anyway? - I'm Wilhelm, your brother.

Wilhelm?

I didn't know

you had a brother. - Yes. He was abroad for a long time.

Now off to bed with you!

Come on in.

That's our tenant.

She's such a burden to us. It's her lungs.

I didn't want to intrude, just say hello. I didn't know where to go.

You must meet Friedrich.

I'm not sure ... - Don't you worry.

He doesn't bite, even though he's an official.

So, Wilhelm. You're my wife's brother,

so you're related to me too.

You're welcome here.

Man, Friedrich, I was really afraid of you. - Come on now!

Ah ...

Where do you live? - I don't know yet. I've been 10 years out of the world.

I just got out.

Don't you know anybody at all? - I know enough people,

but only the sort from inside. I don't want to know them any more.

That's good! Well then ... you'd better stay here for now.

No, Friedrich! I didn't come here for that. I just wanted

to talk to someone. - I can imagine! And tomorrow you can register.

Do I have to, Friedrich? - Why?

I mean, maybe they'll expel me again.

Can't anything be done? You're an official. - Nothing can be done.

And we don't want to start with that. It'll all run its proper course.

If you follow the rules, nothing can go wrong.

We're in Prussia, aren't we?

Then cheers, if they'll let me.

I could hardly fit everything in.

Friedrich has to be at the barracks at four in the morning,

for the Kaiser manoeuvre.

So, are they shiny enough?

You could shave by moonlight with them!

I'm going to be promoted to vice-sergeant major.

My word! If it comes down to it, you could be the representing officer!

You know your rankings! - It's an interest of mine.

Look, Wilhelm, I found this in the chest of drawers.

No, not mother, please.

Well, if you'd rather not. - Marie,

you're brother's staying with us for now. It's all arranged.

He can kip here on the sofa.

Then I have to get some linen out.

Get it out. You've a whole cupboard full of it.

Well, I was just saying I have to get it out.

You see, Wilhelm, she's a good soul, but a bit pernickety.

Wilhelm, I'm very glad to have a man in the house

when I'm out on manoeuvres.

Marie is careless with the cash. She leaves everything lying around.

You keep an eye on things.

Friedrich,

if there were more like you, they wouldn't need any prisons.

''Oh, Grenadier,

why did you break

my heart

in the middle of the night?

I never thought that so early in the day ...''

Their singing's so pretty, isn't it?

Uncle Wilhelm, have you seen a lot of the world? - A hell of a lot.

I'm not the type to settle down.

Once I crossed the Sudeten Mountains.

They're big.

I was on the Muggel hills once, when I was small. - The Muggel hills?

Molehills! A flea could jump them, if he wanted to.

No, child, really high mountains are higher than you can imagine,

higher than the clouds.

The sun is shining up there when it's raining below.

ls it always sunny above the clouds?

Sure it is.

Isn't it cold there? - Cold? So close to the sun?

Uncle Wilhelm, I'd like to go there too.

I’ll take you with me, next time I go up there.

Really?

You just have to get well first.

Oh, they've stopped now.

Would you read something to me? - Yes. Have you got a book?

I made a notch with my fingernail to mark where I stopped.

Show me where.

Oh, Grimm's Fairy Tales.

I know, I'm too old for that really.

That doesn't matter. I like to read it now and then too,

and I'm pretty full-grown.

Don't go, please. - I have to. I'll be right back.

Don't go, it's getting dark.

The window is shiny and white as an eye. Leave the door open.

You can hear me right to the front door!

Did you get a letter, Uncle Wilhelm? - No.

Just some paperwork.

Don't you want to read it?

There's no hurry.

I'd rather read to you.

'''Who can be merry when his neck's on the line,'

answered the cat.

'Because I am getting old and prefer to sit here and spin,

rather than hunt mice all day,

they want to drown me.

But good advice is scarce.

Where am I to go?'

'Come with us,' said the ...

cock ...''

Lieschen,

what is it?

Are you asleep?

EXPULSION ORDER

You're not reading, Uncle Wilhelm.

'''Come with us,' said the cock.

'Something better than death can be found anywhere.'''

''So, you cuirassiers, today you're guests of honour.

We admired you so much for the vigour of your manoeuvres.

You may not be the only ones here,

because there's no overlooking me.

But I'm from the infantry,

and riding and riding,

riding is not for me!

But I'm from the infantry,

and riding is not for me!''

Bravo! - Fabulous! - Tremendous! Who composed the text, then?

She did it all herself. She gets her brains from her daddy!

Come here, my treasure, give Daddy a kiss!

I respectfully beg the same. - Schleinitz, you old scoundrel!

A glass of bubbly, boys! I'm hot! - Go on, Willy, pour it out.

Where's the waiter? - Comrade! - Cheers, Fritzy!

Comrade! Delightful! - I'd like to do manoeuvres with you.

Behave yourself or you'll be stuck with Assessor Trumpp!

That boozer? Never! A dance among comrades? - Gladly, milady.

Willy, the lieutenant wants to smoke! You'll never make officer like that.

You're sweet, and I'm tipsy. - Willy, the commander is coming.

Waiter, fill the glasses!

Gentlemen, please be seated. - Willy, sit down.

Please ring your glass for me.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am compelled to say

that the Potsdam Guards

at this manoeuvre ball of the 6th Cuirassier Guards,

a celebration which in this year,

arranged by the citizens of Potsdam

through our most honourable and most distinguished Mr Wormser,

has been most charmingly ... arranged.

And so, in the name of the officer corps,

and our most charming representative of the Potsdamer Grenadier Guards ...

And I would also ... like to say

the organisers of this evening ...

To sum up, I am not a big speaker! Three cheers! - Hurrah! Hurrah!

My God, I'm all wet!

What bad luck! The nice new uniform!

Rubbish! Daddy got it back from the Mayor of Koepenick!

Champagne is so hard to get out. - So what? It can go to the pedlar.

It's nice to be back home. - Yes, Friedrich.

What's wrong, mother? - I have to tell you something.

Lieschen is dead, but don't be startled.

The poor thing.

Maybe it's for the best. She's at peace now.

Who knows. The only thing you know for sure

is that everyone clings to life.

Mother ... - You're tired, aren't you? - I have to tell you something too.

It was my turn to get promoted to vice-sergeant major.

Well? - Well? It didn't happen.

A new order. Budget cutback.

Nothing to be done. - Oh, Friedrich.

It's not your fault.

Of course not. But that's not the point.

It's just ...

that it's always about the rules

and not about people ... Even our captain said that.

And you were so looking forward to it!

That's Wilhelm. He was at the funeral.

I couldn't go because I was expecting you home.

Wilhelm!

Hello! - Hello, Friedrich.

Nobody thought she'd go so quickly. -And now it's over.

I took your frock coat, mine was too shabby. - Of course.

I’ll take it off now. - You want some coffee? - No, thanks.

So, Friedrich, where are the big eagle buttons

and the silver cockades? - It fell through.

It's not so important. - Nothing is, in this big world.

But it was your turn. It was your right.

The law says what's just, Wilhelm!

It's not there for my wants, it's there for everyone.

Amen.

What? - You forgot that sentences like that always finish with ''amen.''

I’ll just get changed, then I'm going. - Where to?

Wilhelm, you don't want to leave us?

It doesn't matter what I want. I have to go.

My God, Wilhelm.

Didn't you make a petition? - Two.

They had no time for the first, and no interest in the second.

So ... where will you go now?

Nowhere.

You won't do anything stupid? - Anything stupid? Not a chance.

I'm just finally wising up.

Don't laugh, this is serious. - I think it's funny.

They didn't move you up, but they're moving me on. - Be quiet!

What happened to you is a mistake. -A what? A mistake?

No, a clean, shiny miscarriage of justice is what it is!

You just have to see it. I see it. - You have to take it like a man.

Take it where, with no passport and no papers? A man needs somewhere to live!

A man is a man if he maintains order! Even a bug can just live.

Right, and do you know why?

First the bug, and then the bug order!

First the human being, Friedrich, and then the human order!

Wilhelm, you're on the wrong track.

There is no injustice in Germany. Justice and order rule here.

And are my expulsion and your promotion just and in order?

Order must be just! This is not!

With the money they save on my wages they can build a cannon.

Then it goes off, hits you and you lie there. - That's right.

I’ll be lying there when it goes off.

But I know what for: for home and Fatherland.

I love my home as much as you, as much as anyone!

But first I want to live in my home before I can die for it.

Where is it, my home? At the police station? On this paper?

I can't see any home for all the government offices!

I don't want to hear this, and I must not hear it.

I'm a soldier, and I'm an official.

Come, stop fighting. - Don't you have an inner voice

that tells you ...

Back there in the graveyard I heard the inner voice speak.

It said to me: ''Everyone snuffs it some time.

So will you!''

Then you'll stand before God, who created everything, and he'll ask:

''Cobbler Voigt, what did you do with your life?''

And I’ll have to answer: ''Doormats!

I weaved them in prison, and everyone walked all over them.''

God says to me: ''Expulsion? I didn't give you your life for that.

You owe your life to me! What did you do with it?''

And then, Friedrich ...

Once again there's no residence permit for me.

You're knocking the world order.

That's a sin. - No, no.

I'm not going to stand so small before my creator.

I'm going to make something of my life.

It's alright, Friedrich.

You're a good fellow.

Thanks for everything. I'm going.

To you too, Marie.

I'm going ...

I'm going to do something ... - Wilhelm!

Wilhelm!

He's dangerous!

Come here, pal.

I know you from Plotze! You want to earn something?

No, I'm on duty soon.

That's the last veteran of 1 870.

He's on guard at the armoury. Where's your guard's uniform?

Well, Pappitschka ...

You after something?

A lovely hat. Beaver, not Siberian dog.

Keeps the ears warm. It's frosty.

A bargain. A Polish nobleman lost it.

Are you from Bohemia? - From Leitmeritz. Do you know it?

I worked in Bohemia.

I’ll knock off 10 ... 5 per cent because you know Leitmeritz.

ls this real? - This? It's more than real.

From the purveyor to the court, from Potsdam.

I know the hunchback tailor.

Look at this. Fully-lined. The purest silk.

I’ll take it. - Yes, sir! - What does it cost?

Since you know Leitmeritz ...

There's a star missing! - I can give you that too.

So how much? - Two little pieces of gold ...

20 marks. - 15! And I get a sash

and spurs too! - Do you want to make a pauper of me?

Let's say 18. - Done. But then I get a Sabre too.

What do you need that for?. You could cut yourself

or fall over it and break your legs. - Give it a rest. I've got duty.

Pack it up. - Yessir.

No action today, eh? - Who travels as this hour?.

But it's not a hobby-horse of mine!

The administration thinks about it only after an accident has happened.

Sorry, comrade, I can't pee after I get up,

but then I suddenly have to. Excuse me.

Occupied. - Think about it.

The electrical system is very fine, but it can short circuit.

Basically, we always have to rely on human operators.

Still occupied!

So that's why we need five new block signals.

I've worked out an exact plan:

If we take the Berlin-Koepenick, Berlin-Stahnsdorf line ...

How much could it cost to ...

For God's sake, who's taking so long to shit here?

Did you serve? - Yes, Captain!

Then have some self-control.

Porter! Take this package to left-luggage.

I’ll be in the waiting room.

At ease. Pull yourself together next time.

There you are.

Halt!

Unsling arms!

One private and five men from the Guards Regiment on the way

to the barracks! - Very good. At ease.

Unit ...

halt! Unsling arms!

At ease!

Eyes forward! Eyes left!

Grenadier Kaludrigkeit from the 4th Guard Regiment

on foot from firing-range watch back to the barracks!

Listen here! You are to follow me on a mission of the highest command!

Private, assume command!

Forward to Putlitzstrasse Station! We'll take the train to Koepenick.

Attention!

Sling arms!

Route step ... march!

There you are.

Where are you going? - I don't know.

To Koepenick, he told us.

Shut up. It's secret. - He didn't say that.

He took us off the street, didn't he? - What kind of captain is he?

Him? From the very top. - He doesn't look it.

You're in command, you can ask him.

He's from military court, probably. They're old chaps from back then.

Anyway, whose business is it?

There you are.

Why should steam laundry owners get special treatment?

I've managed this town in a socially progressive way ...

They're our main taxpayers.

No matter. They have to slim down too.

Morning, Mr Mayor. - Good day, Mr Mayor.

After you, Mr Mayor.

Thank you, Kilian.

Adored liked old Bismarck. How do you do it?

My secret, Comenius, is justice and backbone.

Yes, the people respect backbone.

I’ll keep the umbrellas here. Otherwise they'll drip upstairs.

And your galoshes, if I may.

Foot! Foot! - Thank you, Kilian. - Like shoeing horses.

My dear Comenius ...

Morning. - Something's wrong here. - Why? They're mounting the guard.

But there are no troops in Koepenick! Someone should ask ...

Don't get involved. The army is the army.

Unit ... halt!

Unsling arms!

To the left!

Attention!

Eyes forward! Fix bayonets!

Are you the only guard? - Yes, but ...

No buts! Follow orders! - Yes, sir.

Does the town hall have a third exit? - No. - Fine.

Two men at the front portal! One man at the back portal.

No one leaves the town hall without my express orders!

State of siege, understood? - Yes, sir.

Close the doors! The rest follow me!

''... refuse it absolutely!'' You got that? - Yes, ''refuse.''

''We don't have a garrison in Koepenick, so we don't have to consider

any military authorities, thank God!''

You put in ''thank God?'' - Yes, sir.

What are you thinking of, Kilian, without knocking ...

Make room here!

Are you the mayor? - I certainly am, but ...

Get out of here!

What is this?

On the order of His Majesty, the Kaiser, you are under arrest.

I'm to take you to the old station in Berlin.

I don't understand. This must be a mistake.

But why? - Why? Isn't this enough for you?

This is too much! I'm not going to ... - Did you serve?

Yes, First Lieutenant of the Reserves. If I may, Captain.

Do you have any authorization?

As a soldier you ought to know:

An order at arms means absolute command!

Yes, but I have no idea ...

Me neither. I only have orders! You can complain later.

Private, see what the police inspector is doing. - Yes, Captain!

I don't understand. - Do you need a tonic from the chemist's?

No, thank you. But I would like to inform my wife.

Do you have a police apartment? -Around the corner ...

Go get the mayor's wife! Hurry! We're not staying long.

Yes ...

Till we take you away, you can communicate with her under guard.

The inspector is asleep! -Asleep? - Yes, sir.

I don't know ...

There's a spy in there. -An assassination attempt!

Why are you asleep on duty? Does the town pay you for that? - No.

Straighten yourself up!

Get onto the street. You represent the police force!

Maintain law and order! See that I'm not disturbed!

Yes, Captain!

Stand back! - I'm the police inspector and I have to go out!

Nobody leaves. Captain's orders. - I have orders from him!

So do I. Stand back!

The guard won't let me out! - Let the inspector out!

Lehmann's coming!

Move on! No public gathering here!

Back ten paces. Break it up!

Pardon me, I'm Councillor Comenius.

We are twelve married men who are expected home for lunch.

No one is allowed out.

No one allowed out? This must be a right scandal!

This Obermuller is probably a clandestine Social Democrat.

For God's sake!

Hey, you!

Captain! - Where is the passport department? - We don't have one.

Only in county towns, at the regional administrative offices.

What?

Oh.

No passport department here ...

It doesn't matter any more.

Where's the town treasury? - Right here!

Hey, you! - Captain!

Have two carriages ready at the rear exit!

You can rely on me.

What's your name? - Rosencrantz, the town treasurer.

Did you serve? - Yes, Captain!

Reserve Lieutenant, 1 st Nassau Artillery Regiment!

Fine regiment. - Indeed. - Make a complete cash up.

I’ll be watching you. - Without the administration's ...

I'm the administration. I have to take you and the mayor

to Berlin as my prisoners. - B-but ...

Don't stammer! Cash up! Will ten minutes do? - I’ll ...

I’ll hurry.

Treasurer Rosencrantz, you can't just hand over the cash box.

You didn't serve! You've got a limp.

You know nothing about discipline! Ln such cases, one follows orders!

It's on your head! - My conscience is clear!

What would the Captain like? - A beer and a bockwurst, and make it snappy!

You! These rolls are from yesterday! - Pardon me, Captain!

Kindly get me some fresh rolls. - Of course.

ls this captain from the military court, or from headquarters?

I don't know.

Don't just sit there so ... so ...

What authorization did he show you? -Authorization?

The man is a captain!

So? So?

You let yourself be arrested, without papers, without a warrant.

You sit there like a wimp

and do nothing about it. - There's nothing I can do!

And what if he's made a mistake?

Impossible! The man knows what he's doing.

But you don't! Now call Teltow, or administrative office!

Yes, I could do that. Although ...

Maybe they don't know about it. Official secret, Tildchen.

I cannot have this. - What?

I cannot have this. - Take that nasty thing away.

You see, you can't do anything.

Oh ... madame.

Dear Captain, is there nothing we can do?

Sadly not, madame. When an officer has his orders,

even if he doesn't like them ... That's why one is a soldier.

Thank you, Captain. - You're welcome.

At any rate, I will ... - Hubert, did you hear that?

He can do nothing.

At any rate, I will mention your correct behaviour

to the higher offices. - One does what one can.

Carriages are ready, Captain. Shall I ... - Take them away!

Kilian, did he tell you anything? - I cannot give you any information.

What kind of tone is that?

My orders are to take you to Berlin.

I'm not allowed talk to prisoners. Come on, put your coat on.

Look, this says 4,042 marks and 90 pfennigs.

And you're giving me 4,042.50.

Why is that?

Sorry, Captain, we went over everything again,

but there's still 40 pfennigs missing.

We also had a fake 50 pfennigs. Sorry about that.

I'm not that pedantic, but I still have to take note of it.

Otherwise someone might think that I took the 40 pfennigs.

Get a move on! Rosen ... crantz!

My dear Captain, could I possibly

accompany my poor husband on his trip?

I cannot deny a lady anything. You just have to get out in time.

I only have orders to deliver the gentlemen. There could be trouble.

That's so kind of you. - I'm a gentleman too, of course.

Right, Old Berliner Guard. I'm depending on you.

You can, sir. Rosencrantz, Obermuller and the woman: Forward march!

They're over there!

Come on, get in. Be snappy!

Obermuller's in the front carriage, Rosencrantz in the rear one.

I’ll sit on the box where I can see everything. At a walk!

Anyone attempting to escape will be shot.

Operation Koepenick is completed. Everything went

according to plan.

Your watch ends in one hour. Return to Berlin

and report to your barracks. - Yes, Captain!

Money for the train back.

Use the rest to buy each man a bier and a bockwurst

in the station bar. - Thank you, Captain!

Yes.

Yes. - I tell you ...

This error will have grave parlimentary consequences.

I am a member of the People's Party. - Quiet, Obermuller!

Gentlemen, I can only offer you my sincere regrets.

You have been victims of a gangster's prank.

Outrageous!

The public will get to hear of this. - I'm sure it will.

You're fired!

The Captain of Koepenick.

The Captain of Koepenick! Latest from the theatre of war!

Was the mayor's wife involved?

Sham captain still at large! Special edition!

Can you believe this, fellas? I can't believe it!

That's the best one ever! I'm a Berliner,

but I've never seen the likes of this.

Here, old man! This is better than a cup of hot coffee!

You haven't learnt to laugh yet, eh?

Fifty to sixty years old,

five foot, four inches, slim, head bowed forward,

sloped shoulders, pale face,

pointy nose, bowed legs,

hands slim and white.

I tell you, Hollerbeck, Jagow can be pleased with himself.

Already looking for a cigar shop, won't be chief constable much longer.

Still no luck? - They've already arrested the 47th fake captain.

But they'll never get the real one.

I don't care. That's not my area.

What do you want? - A passport.

Are you entitled to one? - No, but I need one.

Who are you? - Show me your papers.

I’ll tell you in a minute. But if you promise me a passport,

Then I’ll give you the Captain of Koepenick, no delivery charge.

For that I’ll promise you anything. - But you better keep your word.

You keep yours first. - Come on then, arrest me.

I'm your man. - What? No stupid jokes now!

And it's in here. - What? - What do you think? The uniform.

A real guard's uniform from Wormser in Potsdam.

Where's Zielke with the port and the ham sandwiches?

It's not the newest any more, but it still serves its purpose, eh?

What a fool, that mayor of Koepenick! - No, don't say that.

He's not that bad. You would have done just the same.

All of you.

That's the nature of the thing. - Yes.

Please.

So ...

you fortify yourself now, Captain.

To your health. - Thank you.

I've never been treated so well in a police station before.

What? We're not monsters here. We don't bite. - Now, now!

Tastes fine. - Here!

So where did you get the idea

of marching to Koepenick as a fake captain?

Every child knows that the army can get away with anything here.

So you just went there ... - Wait! So you just went there ...

... put on the uniform, gave myself an order, and then carried it out.

Nothing to it. The uniform practically did it all by itself.

But Koepenick was a mistake.

Why? - There's no passport office there. If I'd known that,

I would have gone to Teltow. - Then Teltow was lucky.

But then you couldn't have shown me such nice hospitality,

'cause you never would have caught me.

Unbelievable! All the money is there. - Not all of it.

I had to cover a few expenses. I have the receipts. - With the money

you could have gone a long way. - Maybe over the border.

But then I couldn't have come back and would have been buried abroad.

I only want my passport and my ...

peace and quiet.

But you can see

that you've committed an offence? - A couple more years is chicken feed.

I'm used to it. And they know me in Plotze and Sonnenburg.

I’ll turn a few heads there!

This stuff tastes good. I could get used to it.

And this uniform ... I mean, where did you get it.

My good man!

I have never, in my whole life, taken anything from anyone.

All I did was fight the authorities! - Go get a photographer.

Would you do me a favour, Captain, and put the uniform on again?

If it makes you happy, gladly.

May I, Captain? - Stop, stop! I can do it, thank you.

Here you are. - Yes.

That's fabulous! Sends a shiver down the spine!

Makes you stand to attention yourself, eh?

Thanks. At ease!

This is the best day of my 30-year career!

I have a request. - What is it?

Could I have a mirror?

I've never seen myself in uniform. - But of course!

But first I want to fortify myself. - Here.

There you are. - Thank you.

So, forward march!

That's unbelievable! Unbelievable!

If there'd been a mirror in that lavatory, it'd never have happened.

His Majesty laughed.

There you see what discipline is, Jagow. No folk on earth can match us.

ROYAL PARDON

Most people want a photo with a signature. Business is booming.

Twelve marriage proposals, two with photos.

She's alright.

Here are all your possessions back, Mr Voigt. Please sign here.

A hat, a penknife, a watch and chain,

a scarf, a chestnut for rheumatism,

a leather wallet ... - Please turn over.

A complete guard's uniform.

Can he keep it? - He paid for it. We're in Prussia, after all.

I'm not keeping it. It's served its purpose.

Will it be put in the armoury? - No, I'm giving it to Franzke.

Well, well. - For his allotment.

There's a gathering outside the gate, instigated by the leftist press.

Could cost me my position.

Press, let us through! - Let him through, he'll show them!

A black day for the ruling classes. - He's coming!

He's coming!

Maybe you could keep me here until the world has calmed down.

Gladly, Mr Voigt, but it's impossible.

The royal pardon means that you're immediately free.

Orders are orders. - Well then ...

Let me out the back way. I don't care for public honours.

That does you credit. - By the way, thank you.

Pardon me? - If you hadn't taught me so much about the army ...

I have something very special for you.

Yours ... - My passport!

I think it's too late. I've waited too long for it.

I don't need it any more, because I am ...

The Captain of Koepenick!