Original subtitles

[chorus] ♪ You're my ♪

♪ Little pinup girl ♪

♪ You're my little pinup girl ♪

♪ You're my little pinup girl ♪

♪ Pinup girl ♪

[piano plays]

[wolf whistles]

- Boy, what a ride. - Never thought we'd make it.

Bye! Oh!

- Hey, how many guys are in there anyway? -[chattering]

- Hey, where's the sarge? - Don't worry. He's in there.

Thanks, lady. Kinda cozy, wasn't it?

- Sure was! -[laughing]

- Give us a lift, lady? - Okay. Hop in.

[orchestra plays]

♪ You're my little pinup girl ♪

♪ Honestly, you are ♪

♪ How would you like some coffee ♪

♪ A doughnut, an apple ♪

♪ A candy bar ♪

♪ Won't ya be my pinup girl ♪

♪ Give a guy a break ♪

♪ The best that we can give you ♪

-♪ Is cocoa ♪ -♪ A cookie ♪

♪ A piece of angel cake ♪

♪ I have to have that smile ♪

♪ Before me ♪

♪ No matter where I roam ♪

♪ We have some nice Old-fashioned mince pie ♪

♪ Like your mama Used to bake back home ♪

♪ Do I love my pinup girl ♪

♪ With all my heart and soul ♪

♪ I'm sure I understand you ♪

♪ But I'm here to hand you ♪

♪ A hot dog on a roll ♪

♪ We surely understand you ♪

♪ But we're here to hand you ♪

♪ A wienie on a roll ♪

♪ Weenie-meenie-miney-mo ♪

♪ Who's the darlin' of the USO ♪

♪ Lorry, Lorry, must be you ♪

♪ Tell us a story, Lorry, do ♪

♪ Okay, I'll tell you one that's true ♪

♪ A boy sent his baby a note ♪

♪ And this is exactly What he wrote, quote ♪

♪ Honey, don't worry your head about ♪

♪ Those pinup girls you've read about ♪

♪ For you most certainly know ♪

♪ You're my little pinup girl ♪

♪ Honestly, you are ♪

♪ To me you have the grace of an angel ♪

♪ The face of a movie star ♪

♪ You're my little pinup girl ♪

[soldiers vocalizing]

♪ Though we are apart ♪

♪ When I'm in sleepy willow ♪

♪ You're pinned on my pillow ♪

♪ And also in my heart ♪

♪ I have to have that smile ♪

♪ Before me ♪

♪ No matter where I roam ♪

♪ That twinkle in your eyes can warm me ♪

♪ Like a fireside at home ♪

♪ Do I love my pinup girl ♪

♪ Bet your life I do ♪

♪ So, baby, keep a-grinning ♪

♪ Remember, I'm pinning ♪

♪ My hopes on you ♪

♪ I have to have that smile ♪

♪ Before me ♪

♪ No matter where I roam ♪

♪ The twinkle in your eyes ♪

♪ Can warm me ♪

♪ Like a fireside ♪

♪ At home ♪

♪ Do you love your pinup girl ♪

♪ Bet your life we do Do-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Well, baby, keep a-grinnin' ♪

♪ Remember♪

♪ I'm pinning all my hopes ♪

♪ On you ♪

[orchestra continues]

- Miss Jones? - Yes?

I'm a deputation from Company "B." I got a protest to read to you.

"A proclamation from the men of Company 'B' in protest to Lorry Jones.

"Whereas the men of Company 'B'-- of which I am one--

"have enjoyed the Missoula USO canteen

"and whereas such enjoyment was caused

"by the charming presence of Miss Lorry Jones,

"therefore, be it resolved that Company 'B' herewith lodges formal protest

"and begs Miss Jones to call off her trip to Washington, DC

and stick right here in town where we need her, whereas!"

[soldiers murmuring, laughing]

I think that's awfully sweet of you,

but I've already given my promise to the USO in Washington

that I'd go with one of their road shows.

- Oh, no, Lorry! - They're sending me to all their camps.

I think they're gonna make me an honorary colonel.

Really?

Lorry Jones, how can you stand there--

They were even gonna send a military escort to take me to the train tonight,

but I thought that was too much.

- That is too much-- way too much. - What's with her?

Well, if you gotta go, you gotta go.

But what about those pinup pictures you promised us?

-[shouting, chattering] - I have them all ready for you.

- Come on over to the counter. -[chattering continues]

Say, do you know where I can find Lorry Jones?

Yeah, but I ain't gonna tell you.

- Come on, Lorry. I was the first one here. - Me too, Lorry!

How 'bout me, Lorry? You promised me one!

It says the same on each of them-- "With Love, Lorry."

- Lorry! - Hello. Here's the last one.

That's all, fellas.

Come on, Lorry. We'd better hurry!

I'll have to say goodbye, unless a few of you want to see Kay and me to the station.

What do you mean, a few of us? We'll all go! Huh, fellas?

[soldiers shouting agreement]

But, Lorry, don't you remember? I'm the guy you became engaged to last night.

George! Of course!

I'm supposed to take you to the station alone!

What do you mean, "alone"? Get a load of this guy!

Where do you get that?

- We're all going with you! -[all clamoring]

Wait a minute. I know how I can settle it, fellas.

George will go with me, and you'll go with Kay, but we'll be together.

- How's that? - Swell!

- Stop pushin', will you? - We at Company "B" are gonna miss ya.

This USO canteen will never be the same.

[horn blows]

[horn blows]

[Kay] I don't feel like taking my clothes off with just that little curtain

between us and the world.

Don't be silly, Kay. What are you afraid of?

Why are you so brave? You've never been in a Pullman before.

Oh, yes, I have, when I visited my uncle in California.

You've never been out of Missouri in your life.

Lorry, sometime someone's gonna catch up with you good.

You'll never get away with making people back home

believe you've gone to Washington to join a USO show.

Oh, I don't know why you just didn't tell them the honest truth.

And let them know we're only gonna work as stenographers for civil service?

- Why should I? - Because it's the truth.

Maybe it is right now, but something could change it, couldn't it?

When you let people believe things that aren't so, it's lying.

Like letting that marine who brought us to the train think he's engaged to you.

You have about six other boys thinking the same thing.

They wanna think it. Besides, I like being nice to the boys in service.

Anyway, I'll probably never even see them again. [groans]

You better not see them again,

at least not all at the same time.

Oh, Lorry, why do you always have to tell fibs?

- I don't tell fibs. -[man] Quiet!

I just make things up.

It's certainly no thrill pushing a typewriter and eating drugstore lunches

and being a fixture in an office.

Just the same, I'm thrilled with being just what we are.

Imagine us in Washington Sunday morning.

Imagine us in New York Sunday morning.

Gee, won't it be--

Laura Jones! [grunts]

I knew I shouldn't have come with you!

- If you start planning anything funny-- - Why not?

We don't have to report for work until Monday.

But, Lorry!

Oh, I won't listen to you.

And besides, we promised my aunt in Baltimore that we'd visit her Sunday,

and, well, if we don't show up--

- We can tell her our train was wrecked. - There you go again.

[man] Quiet!

[marching band plays]

["Anchors Aweigh"]

Pardon me. What's all the excitement about?

Tommy Dooley, one of the navy heroes from Guadalcanal, is arriving.

Kay, our first thrill, and we're only off the train two minutes!

-[woman] Here he comes now! -[cheering]

- Hi, Tommy. Nice going, sailor. - Hiya, big boy!

- Welcome to New York. - Thanks--

Uh, I'm afraid I don't remember--

You don't?

- Mabel? - Nope. Try again.

- Fifi. - Nope.

Here. Maybe I got a better memory.

Stand back, and let her keep trying. I think I'm getting warmer.

-[crowd laughing] -[wolf whistle]

Who's that girl, his fiancée?

No, ma'am. That's Miss Molly McKay, a nightclub entertainer.

She sure love heroes, and she meets them all.

If they're all like him, it must be a wonderful hobby.

Ah, just call me Molly, and don't you dare let me see you lookin' lonesome.

Well, grab a wing, sailor. We're goin' places.

- Just a minute, lady. Don't you think-- - She is thinkin'.

Whatever it is, I'm for it. Come on. Let's go.

That's our first thrill. Let's go look for another one.

-[band plays] -[horn honks twice]

[harmonizing] ♪ Will this dream come true ♪

♪ Or bring a blue tomorrow ♪

[muted trumpet plays]

♪ Time alone will tell ♪

♪ If our romance is real ♪

♪ Or just a springtime spell ♪

♪ For heaven knows ♪

♪ And time will tell ♪

- Bonsoir, mademoiselle. - We'd like a table, please.

Uh, any little table will do.

In what name did mademoiselle call to make the reservation?

Oh, well, we didn't think--

Yes, I'm sorry, mademoiselle.

- For this evening, all tables are taken. - Pierre, no tables?

Bonsoir, madame. You have reservations, of course.

This way, please.

He gave them a table, and they didn't have an escort.

When he saw us coming, he put the rope up.

We should have used our imagination. We should have--

Lorry, don't. Don't use yours.

You do such awful things with it.

Excuse me, please.

When the gentleman we were expecting arrives,

tell him the ladies left because you didn't have a table.

Oui, mademoiselle. The gentleman's name?

Mr. Tommy Dooley from Guadalcanal.

Certainement, mademoiselle. Mr. Tommy-- Tommy Dooley?

Oh, mademoiselle, there is a mistake!

Of course we have a table for Mr. Dooley. The best, at the ringside.

Please! This way, s'il vous plait.

♪ Sing if you are in my arms ♪

♪ We'll know it's not a spell ♪

♪ We'll know it's real ♪

♪ But time will tell ♪

How could you look him in the eye and tell him we were expecting Tommy Dooley?

Well, he's important. The headwaiter knows him. And it worked. We're in.

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Time alone ♪

♪ Will tell ♪

[band starts new song]

Good evening. I'm Eddie Hall.

I hope you liked that number. Boys played it just for you.

- Gardenias, as big as sunflowers! - Mm-hmm.

- Uh, d-did you say your name was-- - Eddie Hall.

I'm the owner of the show.

Just a little gift. We present them to all our important guests.

Oh, but, Mr. Hall--

That's very nice of you, and the music was wonderful.

It reminded me so much of the night I was in Paris.

Prince Dubonnet had just asked me to dance-- Oh!

[loud pop]

- Lorry, don't you think-- I mean-- - Pardon me.

Molly and Mr. Dooley just arrived.

Excuse me.

- Lorry-- - Oh! Thank you.

Let's get out of here before we get into any more trouble.

Don't be silly. He has no way of finding out whether we know Dooley or not.

Oh, what that'll do to you with your ideas.

Try it. Go ahead.

Tommy, you old son of a gun!

Eddie, shake hands with a pal o' mine, Dud Miller.

Pleased to meet you.

- You're an optimist. - Molly, we're late with the show.

Will you get out from under that soup plate and get into your costume?

After my number, I'll be back.

Don't let Eddie bore you. Remember, I saw you first.

Always kidding. Oh, Pierre.

I'll have you seated, and we'll go on with the show.

Take Mr. Dooley and his friend to their table.

Oui, monsieur.

Thanks a million, Eddie, and hurry back. We want you with us.

Maybe you'll change your mind when you see what's waiting for you at the table.

-[chuckling] - What's he mean by that?

A big dinner, of course. A swell guy like that thinks of everything.

This way, monsieur.

[excited chattering]

["Anchors Aweigh"]

-[woman] It's Tommy Dooley! -[man] Attaboy, Dooley!

[woman] Dooley! Dooley!

Oh, come on! Let's get out of here!

[Pierre] Mr. Dooley, your guests.

There. Didn't I tell you a guy like that thinks of everything?

- Thanks. How do you do? - How do you do?

Gee, I didn't expect a surprise like this.

You and us both. [hiccups]

It was nice of Eddie to invite you. I'm glad you're here.

Oh, thank you, but, well, you see--

I'll bet you two girls are actresses, huh?

- Oh, heavens, no. We're just-- - We're in musical comedy.

- Really? What show are you with? - Uh, Remember Me.

No, I can't say that I do, but I just got back in town--

That's the name of their show here on Broadway.

We'll have to see it.

Splendid! We'll get you some tickets.

- I think we'd better be going. - What's the idea? What did we do?

And besides, we just met. You don't want to break my heart, do you?

I don't suppose there need be any rush about it.

Good. At least we've got one thing settled for the rest of the evening.

[audience applauding]

♪ When the red red robins And the bob bobwhites ♪

♪ And pretty bluebirds Sing you out of bed ♪

♪ They're tweet-tweetin' to tell you ♪

♪ In their tweet way ♪

♪ That there's a happier day ahead ♪

♪ When the red red robins And the bob bobwhites ♪

♪ And pretty bluebirds Chirp their little tune ♪

♪ They're just tryin' to sell you A bill of goods ♪

♪ But we'll be out of the woods Real soon ♪

♪ When they're whistlin' On your windowsill ♪

[whistling]

♪ Join along in their familiar song ♪

♪ If you won't the whippoorwill will ♪

♪ Oh, it's not so easy To be gay and breezy ♪

♪ When the whole darn world is in a stew ♪

♪ But to help the morale Won't you be a good pal ♪

♪ Won't you warble a chorus or two ♪

♪ Like the red red robins And the bob bobwhites ♪

♪ And the bluebirds do ♪

[scatting]

♪ Hep, hep, you cats dig me righteously ♪

♪ Speakin' of birds, it's occurred to me ♪

♪ I know a new bird who's no bluebird ♪

♪ He can rock it, wait and see ♪

[whistling]

♪ You’ve just heard the "jitterbird" ♪

♪ Jivin' in a jumpin' key ♪

♪ Oh, it's not so easy ♪

♪ To be gay, gay ♪

♪ And breezy ♪

♪ When the whole darn world ♪

♪ Is in a stew ♪

♪ But to help the morale Won't you be a good pal ♪

♪ Won't you warble a chorus or two ♪

♪ Like the red red robins And the bob bobwhites ♪

♪ And the bluebirds do ♪

[audience applauding]

[chorus] ♪ When the red red robins ♪

♪ And the bob bobwhites ♪

♪ And pretty bluebirds Sing you out of bed ♪

♪ They're tweet-tweetin' to tell you ♪

♪ In their tweet way ♪

♪ That there's a happier day ahead ♪

♪ When they're whistlin' On your windowsill ♪

♪ Tra-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la ♪

♪ Join along in their familiar song ♪

♪ If you won't, the whippoorwill will ♪

♪ It's not so easy to be gay and breezy ♪

♪ When the whole darn world is in a stew ♪

♪ But to help the morale Won't you be a good pal ♪

♪ And do as they do ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪

[chorus vocalizing]

♪ But to help the morale Won't you be a good pal ♪

♪ And sing ♪

♪ Sing ♪

♪ Sing like the robins ♪

♪ And the bluebirds do ♪

♪ Ah, ah ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

[audience applauding]

[chorus] ♪ Oh, don't be uneasy Just be gay and breezy ♪

♪ When the whole darn world is in a stew ♪

♪ Like the red red robins And the bob bobwhites ♪

♪ And the bluebirds ♪

♪ Do ♪

Wasn't it beautiful?

Yes, and Miss McKay can certainly put over a song.

- And how! - She's a swell gal too.

She and Eddie will be over to join us.

They will?

Oh, I think that will be wonderful.

- I wonder if I can make a phone call. - That's right. Uncle Herman.

He'll never forgive us for not phoning him.

Hey, wait a minute. What's the rush?

Oh, well, we were just going to make a phone call.

Don't go.

I'll have a phone brought to the table. Sit down.

I've been talking to your friends, but I don't think Molly has met them.

- Introduce us. - Introduce you?

- Yeah. - Aren't they friends of yours?

I guess we're all a little mixed up. You see--

You mean to say you didn't invite these girls here?

Me? I invited them?

Oh, now I think I'm beginning to get the angle.

- You figured I'd get lost in the traffic. - Wait a minute, Molly.

You know that I wouldn't do anything like that to you for the world.

Tell her the truth. Did I invite you--

When the agent phoned and told us to come over, well, naturally we thought that--

Agent? What agent phoned you?

How should I know? All he said was to see you about the tryout--

Don't you realize that this is Miss Lorraine

from the musical comedy Remember Me?

You see, we came right over from the theater,

and I guess, by mistake, they seated us at this table.

Just a minute. Remember Me closed last night.

What's the difference? They're here now, and everybody's happy.

Aren't we?

If you were in Remember Me, you know all the numbers.

Oh, heavens to Betsy, yes. She knows them backwards. Why, back in--

Well, that's fine. Why don't we have her try one out right now?

I told you, I don't know anything about it!

I think it's a swell idea, and we're all for it. Aren't we, Miss Lorraine?

Oh, I'd love to, but we have to catch a train in 40 minutes.

We're joining the USO show in Washington.

- This'll only take a couple of minutes. - I'm sorry. I can't.

- I have a cold. - Oh, come on.

There's no need for me to deliberately flaunt myself with laryngitis, is there?

- Come on. - It's too late to phone Uncle Herman now.

[band: fanfare]

Ladies and gentlemen, I have a big surprise for you.

As a matter of fact, it's a bigger surprise to me than it'll be to you.

You all remember me? I mean, the show Remember Me.

Then surely you'll remember her.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Miss Laura Lorraine

in "Don't Carry Tales."

All right? Take it away, Charlie.

[music box plays]

♪ Listen, children Listen to your teacher ♪

♪ Pay attention and learn your ABC’s ♪

♪ And when you grow up You can be a quiz kid ♪

♪ Or a guest of honor ♪

♪ On Information Please ♪

♪ Listen, children Listen to your teacher ♪

♪ You gotta know your figures If you wanna be considered bright ♪

♪ Tell us more, oh, teacher ♪

♪ Tell us more, more, more ♪

♪ Listen, children Listen to your teacher ♪

♪ Battles are won in the daytime ♪

♪ Ah, but history is made at night ♪

♪ Tell us more, oh, teacher Tell us more ♪

- More? - More!

♪ If you want to be teacher's pet ♪

♪ Here's a little motto that you mustn't ♪

♪ No, you dasn't ever forget ♪

♪ Don't carry tales out of school ♪

♪ 'Cause if you do, you're a fool ♪

♪ You mustn't tell everything you know ♪

♪ And keep it to yourself That I love you so much ♪

♪ Don't carry tales out of school ♪

♪ You'll find it's a pip of a rule ♪

♪ And though a busybody may insist ♪

♪ Don't let on that we've kissed ♪

♪ If you're a blabbermouth You're off my list ♪

♪ So don't be a stubborn mule, baby ♪

♪ And don't carry tales out of school ♪

♪ Tell us more, oh, teacher Tell us more ♪

♪ Well, don't you think We ought to dance now ♪

♪ You'd better button up your upper lip ♪

♪ A little slip may sink your ship ♪

♪ If you're a blabbermouth You're off my list ♪

♪ So don't be a stubborn mule, baby ♪

- Hush. - Shush.

- Psst. - Hey.

♪ If as a lover, you're a riot ♪

♪ Don't let out a peep Just keep it quiet ♪

♪ Don't carry tales out of school ♪

Yes, sir!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

[laughing] Whoo-hoo!

[clears throat]

Terrific guy-- that Malcolm on the drums.

- You were swell. - Oh, thank you.

- May I have this dance? - Uh-huh.

[band plays ballad]

Hold it. Thank you.

I think it's swell that a big musical-comedy star like you

could come here on a blind date, not knowing who you were going to meet.

Oh, one gets tired of the usual bankers

and millionaires and playboys.

It's rather nice meeting someone... different.

[Molly] Where do I come off?

Does he have to dance every dance with her?

[man on PA] Train number 61:

Newark, New Brunswick, Elizabethtown.

- Yes, ma'am. - Did you think we were never coming back?

Nothing like a hamper of goodies to take on the train.

- You look like Santy Claus. - As far as I'm concerned, it is Christmas.

You don't know what the past few hours have meant to me, Lorry.

They were wonderful.

I had a terrible disappointment when I came home.

You did? How?

Well, sounds kind of goofy, but

while I was in Guadalcanal, a girl sent me a fan letter with her picture in it.

Boy, did I fall-- hook, line and sinker.

I could hardly wait till I got home to meet her.

And now you find she doesn't like you?

It was a bigger disappointment than that.

I found she was married and the picture she'd sent had been taken 15 years ago.

[chuckles] Oh.

Now you know what it means to meet a girl like you who's really on the level.

[man on PA] The 12:30 for Trenton--

- Lorry, come on. We'll miss our train. - Baltimore--

Ooh, that's us. I guess we'll have to say goodbye now.

Wait a minute. We haven't got your address. Who's got a pencil?

- I have. - Get me paper, somebody, quick.

Here. Write it on the back of that magazine.

We're stopping off to visit Kay's aunt in Baltimore first,

so if you want to write, you'd better send the letters in care of her.

- What's her address? -473 Oriole Street.

And my aunt's name is Miss Minny Pritchett.

Gee, it'll be like doing time in the brig till we hear from you.

I don't know what you mean, but sounds awful nice.

Hold out your arms-- for the packages, I mean.

- Can you hold 'em all? - Uh-huh.

- Both your hands full? - I'm afraid they are.

Not goodbye, just good night.

Good night.

Come on, Lorry. Hurry up.

Oh! Goodbye! Uh, good night.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

Hey. How far is Baltimore from Washington?

Oh, uh, it's about the same as it is from Washington to Baltimore.

What's that address?

Hey, I forgot to tear it off the magazine!

- Hey, wait! Hold that train! - Hold that train!

Hold that train to Baltimore!

If nothing else gets me down about this job, climbing these stairs every day will.

Come on. After two weeks, you oughta be able to get your mind off New York.

They've probably forgotten all about us by now.

Men are like that.

Dud Miller's the only one who ever treated me sweet and suggestive,

but I loved it.

Mmm, it was wonderful, being a musical-comedy star

for a night.

I guess it's the nicest thing you've ever been. In your mind, I mean.

Bureau of Aeronautics. Uh, you got me. No, I know!

You go down here--

- It's them! - What'll we do?

Oh! Run!

- We're trapped. - Now where will we go?

So you keep right on going till you get to 3361.

Oh, hold on. That's the old 3354. That ain't right.

Wait a minute. I'm wrong. You don't turn right. You turn left.

- Oh, the left. - That's right.

- You mean my right? - No, my right, your left.

- If I turn left, I'm right? - No, my right, your left.

- My left? - That's right.

-[sighs] - Why didn't I stay in Missoula?

Never mind that. Peek out and see where they're going. Go on!

It's safe.

Let's get to the office quick!

-3369. Here we are. - Hey, wait.

Uh, "Private. Enter 3368"?

- Well, then it must be back that way. - I give up.

Wait a minute.

[gasps] Oh!

- What's the matter? - It's them again. They're coming back!

- Here we are-- 3368. - Yeah. Finally.

I'll wait outside till you're through with the chief.

- I don't think I'll be very long anyway. - Hey, square your hat.

Where'd they go?

Your hero went in next door, where you have to work today.

Oh! Well, I won't go in. I'll quit first.

Dooley, you youngsters are doing a grand job.

- I wish I could be out there with you. - Wish you could too, Chief.

And I would be if I could get back on active service.

Just think of me, Chief Barney Briggs,

- lashed and battened down to a desk. - Tough.

You know if--

Oh, why don't I shut my mouth? Where's that stenographer?

[intercom buzzing]

That's you.

- Did you have a good time in New York? - Couldn't have asked for better.

They gave me everything but the sidewalks-- dinners, shindigs.

- Reel in a lot of your dough? - Oh, no.

Met a girl who works in a nightclub. Everything free.

Mmm. Danced all night every night.

Well, uh--

You're lucky you didn't get back here on crutches.

Look at that! Plastered all over the papers with women!

- Now, Chief-- - Women-- I hate 'em!

I wouldn't take a second look at any of 'em.

[phone rings]

- Hello. - Hello, Briggsey.

Is my little Kewpie stepping out tonight?

Oh, uh, yes, Admiral.

I'll, uh-- I'll, uh, do that, sir. [grunts]

You take my advice and keep away from them.

Now, look, Chief--

"Dooley, Aviation Ordinance Man Second, distinguished service.

"Casualty: compound fracture, left leg.

Transferred to Washington special duty and further medical examination."

So you stopped off in New York and danced yourself dizzy.

You know you're supposed to take care of that bad leg? Who was she?

Beautiful! Uh, I mean, uh, she's a musical-comedy star.

[Briggs] Just what I thought. She used you to get her pictures in the paper.

She ran around with you to cash in on your publicity.

Oh, no, Chief. You've got that all wrong. I only saw her once.

That's once too often! See here, Dooley!

The navy doesn't want you kids to make fools of yourselves.

All this girl of yours wants is notoriety.

She might even follow you here to Washington.

[Tommy] You think there's a chance?

If she does, I'll have her locked up! I'll turn her over to the FBI!

But don't you worry, Dooley. I'll protect you.

That's my job-- to see that you fellas aren't exploited. You don't know women.

- No? - No.

You haven't been in the navy long enough.

But you can depend on me. I know.

- Swell. Got any telephone numbers? - I've got a book full of tel--

Wait a minute. What do you mean? You're here on business.

The Bureau of Aeronautics wants a report on everything you've learned

about Japs and Jap tactics.

Here, this young lady will take down your report in shorthand.

- What's your name, miss? - Jones.

- Little late, aren't you? - Yes, sir.

Here's my department record.

- Miss Jones, this is Mr. Dooley. - How do you do?

You work with him to get his report out. Use that office in there.

- Yes, sir. - That's all.

- Get to work and keep your mind on it. - Okay, Chief.

Shall I take dictation, or would you rather--

Hmm?

- I said, shall I take notes or-- - Do you dance?

- Not during office hours. - Oh.

Well, there was something about you that--

I mean, it reminded me of--

No. Couldn't be.

[sighs]

- I'm ready, Mr. Dooley. - Look, I don't wanna work.

I want to go to Baltimore. Where is it?

- It's over there behind the navy yard. - Well, that's something.

I'll be a little closer to her when I'm in my bunk.

Miss Jones, have you ever been in love?

- Well, I-- - No, you look too sensible.

For days I've been walking around in circles.

- I've even been talking to myself. - You have?

That's the way you get. I met a wonderful girl and lost her address.

That's why I have to go to Baltimore.

She's staying there someplace.

I've got to find her.

You know, the first time we met,

the first time we looked at each other,

it was just like-- like coming in with your wings flapping.

- Oh, that's beautiful. - Oh, she's gorgeous.

She-- She takes your breath away.

She makes you feel, well--

- Were you ever tattooed? - No, but--

Well, that's just the way she makes you feel--

like somebody's sticking needles in you all over.

-[sighs] - Am I boring you?

Gosh, no. Oh, no, sir.

Ah, what's the use? I'll never find her in Baltimore.

I'd have to go around ringing doorbells.

But perhaps if she knows you're here in the navy department

and anxious to see her again, she might telephone you.

Do you think she would?

Well, if I were in love as much as you seem to be.

Oh, I'm off my top!

Well, I'd phone you.

Oh, Miss Jones! You've saved my life.

You're a great girl, wonderful. I'll never forget.

Hey, can you leave your work for a minute?

Oh. Miss Jones, Mr. Miller.

Hiya. The OWI wants you right away.

Miss Jones thinks Miss Lorraine might call me up from Baltimore.

- Hey, suppose she does while I'm gone? - I'll take the message.

Swell. Don't leave the phone, not an inch. Tell her I--

Tell her I'll be right back. Get her number. Come on.

- Have I got my fingers crossed. - Didn't you tumble?

- Tumble? What do you mean? - In there-- that girl.

Isn't she the one we met in New York? The "Remember Me" girl.

What are you talkin' about? That's Miss Jones.

She typewrites with her fingers.

Oh, yeah? For two girls to look that much alike, she'd have to do it with mirrors.

If she was the same one, what would she be doing here as a steno?

Why would she-- Oh, hiya, Chief.

I thought you were working. What's the matter? Isn't that girl all right?

- Absolutely. I got called over to the OWI. - Excuse me, Chief.

That girl in there-- How long's she been working here?

Her report card says a week. She's from out of town.

New York?

No, she came here on government transportation

direct from Missoula, Missouri.

Highly recommended. Don't you two try to start anything.

Oh, no, no, no. We wouldn't--

Oh!

Extension 47.

Hello, Kay? Everything's wonderful!

I'm gonna take Mr. Dooley's report, and he loves me. He's been trying to find me!

- Didn't he recognize you? - No, he doesn't know I'm me.

But he loves me ever since he first met me.

But, Lorry, what'll you do now? You can't let him go on thinking that--

But I have to! He's crazy about Laura Lorraine, not Laura Jones, and--

[door opens]

Why, yes, of course I'll give him your message.

- Goodbye. - Who was that?

Why, Miss Lorraine.

Miss Lorraine? Why did you let her go? Why did you--

I told her you were out of the office.

But I wasn't. I was right there.

She said she was leaving Baltimore for Washington,

and if you wanted to, you could meet her tonight.

Tonight? Where?

In front of the statue of Benjamin Franklin at 8:00.

Miss Jones, you don't know what you're saying.

I'm the happiest guy in the world!

Wait a minute. You've gotta help me. Where will I take her?

Every place in Washington is packed with people.

I want to be alone with her

someplace, if I take her in my arms, she'll naturally cuddle up.

Maybe a carriage ride.

No, the driver hears everything you say.

- A walk in the park? - That's worse. Too many people.

- You hear everything they say. - I've got it.

- What? - A moonlight picnic.

If you could have someone put up a box supper for two and get a portable radio--

I can get those all right, but where in Washington--

Why not right on the mall?

With moonlight on the water, it would be awfully romantic,

and, I've heard, sometimes awfully lonesome.

Miss Jones, you're wonderful! You're terrific!

You're--

Just showing her a Japanese stranglehold, Chief.

If this keeps up, she won't be here long enough to use it.

[big band: ballad]

[sighs]

Penny for your thoughts?

I was thinking of your secretary

and what a lovely person she was to suggest this place.

It must be nice to have such a sweet girl in your office.

I'd much rather think of the sweet girl I have in my arms.

I wonder if you'll always feel that way towards me, Tommy.

- Always. - Even if something happened?

- Of course, darling. - I wish I could be sure.

What makes you say that?

Oh, I don't know. I--

- Lorraine. - Yes?

When a fella's liable to go away,

maybe for a long time,

do you think he has a right to--

well, to ask a girl to wait for him?

If he loves her, I think he has.

But you're joining the USO show. You don't know where you'll be or--

I haven't had much luck with the USO show, Tommy.

There's too many big stars ahead of me.

I was thinking of going back home to Missour-- uh, Kansas City

and-- and forgetting the stage.

That's a fine thing. With all your talent? Why, it's ridiculous.

Oh, no, it isn't. I don't mind giving up the stage.

Besides, Washington wouldn't be the same if you went away.

[man on radio] Ladies and gentlemen,

you've been listening to the music of Charlie Spivak and his band

coming to you from the opening tonight

of Washington's newest and smartest nightclub,

the Club Diplomacy.

What's the matter with us? There's the solution to our whole problem.

Eddie Hall! Why, he's right here in Washington opening up his club tonight.

That Miss, um-- you know, the singer--

She's been sending me telegrams and letters, begging me to come.

But, Tommy--

We'll grab a taxi and go over to the Club Diplomacy.

- But listen-- - Not to one word.

I'm gonna make Eddie Hall give you a break if it takes an act of Congress.

[horns honking]

All kidding aside, folks, you've made me the happiest boy in the world.

Why, just two minutes ago Senator Novacall stopped me, and he said,

"Mr. Hall"-- He called me by my maiden name.

"Mr. Hall," he said, "I want to congratulate you.

Your opening is the biggest we've ever had in Washington."

[audience laughing]

Oh. [chuckling] Now I know what he meant.

[laughing]

And now, ladies and gentlemen, that cheerful little earful of corn,

Miss Molly McKay!

♪ Ladies and gentlemen Attention, please ♪

♪ You've got to listen to me ♪

♪ Here's an extra special communiqué ♪

♪ Just arrived today ♪

♪ From Washington, DC ♪

[trumpet plays]

[scatting in imitation of trumpet]

[harmonizing]

[snapping fingers]

♪ Pretty little milkmaid, milk that cow ♪

♪ Say there, you Grab ahold of that plow ♪

♪ We gotta do a heap off armin' now ♪

♪ We're on a Yankee-Doodle hayride ♪

♪ Run your little tractor Stack that wheat ♪

♪ Your big boy and his buddy must eat ♪

♪ We need a lot of starch For marching feet ♪

♪ We're on a Yankee-Doodle hayride ♪

♪ Oh, there ain't gonna be no hoedown ♪

♪ Till we knock the foe down ♪

♪ Neighbor, we just can't slow down ♪

♪ Got to go, got to go like blazes ♪

♪ Soldiers in khaki, sailors in blue ♪

♪ Cannot be any prouder than you ♪

♪ A pair of overalls is a uniform too ♪

♪ We're on a Yankee-Doodle hayride ♪

-[trumpet] -[scatting]

[harmonizing]

♪ Hey, hey, what do you say ♪

♪ We gotta have beans And gotta have tomatoes ♪

♪ Come along, rain We gotta have crops ♪

♪ Iowa corn and Idaho potatoes ♪

♪ Fatten that calf We got to have chops ♪

♪ If you want to win You've gotta pitch in ♪

♪ If you want to pitch in Then you've gotta pitch hay ♪

♪ Hey, hey, are you goin' away ♪

♪ Way down yonder in a cornfield ♪

♪ Soldiers in khaki, sailors in blue ♪

♪ Cannot be any prouder than you ♪

♪ A pair of overalls is a uniform too ♪

♪ Your Uncle Sam is calling you ♪

♪ To come and hitch your wagon To a Yankee-Doodle ♪

♪ Cock-a-doodle-doodle hayride ♪

[new song]

[ends]

Having you folks drop in is all I needed to make the evening complete.

You're sweet to say that.

Looks like you're having a big opening night, Eddie.

A sellout.

Hey, what's going on between you two anyway?

Hmm. I get it. Well, he's a great guy, Miss Lorraine.

I've known this son of a gun ever since he wore three-cornered pants.

As a matter of fact, I loaned you the dough to buy your first long ones.

- That's right. - Yeah.

I guess that shows you where I stand. And you think he wouldn't do me a favor?

- Favor? Are you short? Do you need dough? - Oh, no, no.

- There is something else. - Just ask. You've got it.

- You're going out on a limb. - For you, I'll chop it off.

- Mr. Hall, I-- - You're sure?

Positive. Ask me anything. It's done.

Okay. I want you to put Miss Lorraine in your show.

- Did you say-- - Remember how good she was in New York?

She'll be twice as good here in Washington.

Didn't I tell you he'd do it? Didn't I say he was a great guy?

I think you're one of the nicest persons in the world,

and I appreciate what you've done for me.

- What's the matter? You sick? - Oh, no. No, no.

Just a little dizzy from climbing out on that limb so fast.

- What hit me, a P-38? - I hit you.

When you signed up that Lorraine girl,

you didn't invite trouble with me, you ensured it.

Now, wait a minute. Let's talk this thing over sensibly, Molly.

Stay down for a full count,

or I'll hang a shanty on your other eye to look like a duplex!

- I'll go for help! - Help nothing, sister.

You come back in a few minutes,

and what's left of him you can kick under a rug.

Listen, you got this thing all wrong. I was forced to sign up Miss Lorraine.

Tommy Dooley made me do it.

- Oh, yes? What did he use for persuasion? - Friendship.

What do you think?

I gave in because he was gonna hit me with a piece of wet lettuce?

I don't care why you gave in! All I know is I'm through.

- I'm walking out on you right now! - Molly!

That Lorraine dame took Dooley away from me in New York,

but I'll choke before I let her parade in front of me in Washington!

But she isn't gonna parade herself in front of ya.

You're the star of my show. She can't compare with ya.

You're my drawing card. Molly!

- Don't you think anything of me? - Anything?

Everything. Everything I can think of!

Wait a minute. For once in your life, be sensible.

- Mmm. - Even if it's only for the novelty.

Excuse me.

Mmm. A marine. And "excuse me," he says.

How do you want him to come in? Throwing hand grenades?

- How do you do? - What can I do for you?

I'm looking for someone-- Miss Lorraine, as you call her.

It's her again.

- She gets 'em all. - Look, brother, will you please go away?

I got all the trouble I can use.

Yeah? Well, you're gonna get some more if I don't find her.

- I happen to be engaged to her. - That's fine. Now, if you'll just run al--

- You're engaged to her? - That's right.

- Are you sure? - Of course I'm sure.

She gave me this the night I took her to the train.

- You took her to the train? - Look, bud, you got the wrong party.

You didn't take her to the train that night.

I tell you I did.

I wasn't lettin' those guys beat my time.

- But they took her to the train too. - They horned in.

She didn't want 'em.

She says, "George, I'm just bein' nice to them 'cause they're doing their bit.

You're the only one I love."

- She said that to you? - Sure. She's nice to all the fellas.

That's why she's such a popular pinup girl.

- Thousands of guys have her picture. - Pinup girl?

I've got a popular pinup girl in my show, and I'm not letting the public know?

Miss Lorraine won't be here until tonight,

so why don't you and I sort of plan a little surprise for her?

- Well, that's fine. - Pardon us.

Wait a minute, Molly. You're not going anyplace with him.

- If she wants to, who's gonna stop her? - Yeah. You keep out of this.

War is war. Oh, and by the way, reserve a table for Miss Lorraine's fiancé.

He's going to be our honored guest tonight.

You look good, Ed.

- Good evening. - Good evening.

[drumbeat]

[horn solo, slow tempo]

[tempo quickens]

♪ Once too often ♪

♪ You're gonna step out once too often ♪

♪ I'm gettin' mighty sick and tired ♪

♪ Of totin' the torch for you ♪

♪ So just be careful, brother ♪

♪ I, too, can find another ♪

♪ Remember anything that you do ♪

♪ I can do too ♪

♪ Once too often ♪

♪ I'll get the go-by once too often ♪

♪ And then you'll have To change your tune ♪

♪ And sing in a different key ♪

♪ That line that you've been usin' ♪

♪ Will cease to be amusin' ♪

♪ It's gonna boomerang ♪

♪ When you come lookin' for me ♪

♪ Say, you're a wizard When it comes to cryin' ♪

♪ A master in the art of alibi-in' ♪

♪ Go on and do your tall and fancy lyin' ♪

♪ Baby, but you will say you're sorry ♪

♪ Once too often ♪

♪ You're gonna weep, but I won't soften ♪

♪ You're gonna whimper like a pup ♪

♪ The day I catch up with you ♪

♪ Step out, go on and show off♪

♪ Some night the lid will blow off♪

♪ You're gonna give my heart The business once too often ♪

[audience applauding]

- Stick around. I'll be back in a minute. - Hey. Where you goin', sailor?

I'm going backstage and pop a mighty important question.

Keep your fingers crossed that I get the right answer.

[chattering]

Come on now, girls. You go and get ready for your next number.

- Oh, Tommy, can you spare a minute? - Well, I-I-I--

I've got a surprise. It's for Miss Lorraine.

I thought maybe you'd want to get in on it.

- You bet your life I would. What is it? - I'll show you.

Tommy Dooley, meet George Davis.

- How are ya? - Very well, thanks.

- How are you? - Isn't this wonderful, you meeting him?

Well, sure, but I don't quite understand. What's this all about?

Well, George is Miss Lorraine's fiancé, only she doesn't know it yet.

Oh, yes, she does. She told me so herself.

- She doesn't know you're here. - I don't get this.

She doesn't know he's in town.

We were gonna wait until after her number, then all of us were gonna walk in on her.

Will she be happy--

success in the show and getting her boyfriend back in one night.

And she deserves it. She's got what it takes.

- That, my friend, is an understatement. - You a friend of hers too?

In a way. Course, it was only casual. Very casual.

Thanks, Molly, for saving me from doing something very silly.

Glad to have seen you. Best of luck to you both.

He's not a very sociable guy, is he?

He's been looking out a porthole too long. What are we waitin' for?

I'll change all my advertising. I'll bill you as the nation's number-one pinup girl.

Everybody in Washington'll be packin' the joint.

I'll give you the biggest publ--

- Surprise! Look who's here. - Lorry!

- How do you do? - Don't you remember me?

Oh, yes. Of course. It was at a dinner party, wasn't it?

Now, was it in Pittsburgh or--

It was in Missoula at a dance, and you know it.

You're engaged to him. Don't you remember?

Molly, if this is gonna be a fight, remember it's a private one.

George! Now I place you!

Well, it's about time we got to know each other better.

And maybe it's about time we had something understood.

See, I'm engaged to 500 boys,

but that doesn't say I'm gonna marry each one of them.

- I'll say you're not. - No.

You can include Tommy Dooley in that 500 too,

because you're not gonna marry him either.

- I fixed that. - What do you mean, you fixed it?

I introduced George to Tommy, and I told him you two were engaged.

You did? Where is he?

From the way he left, by now, he's probably flying over the equator.

Oh.

Now you've really fixed it.

Well, how did I know she was engaged to 500 other guys?

You didn't wanna get married anyway, did ya?

"Dear Tommy, it is hard to explain what happened last night.

"There is so much I would like to tell you.

"If you will see me, I'm sure I can make you understand

"and you won't think so badly of me.

"Please leave a message with your stenographer. I will phone her.

Sincerely, Laura Lorraine."

Miss Jones, if Miss Lorraine calls, tell her I don't want any part of her.

- You don't? - Never.

- That's being awfully hard-hearted. - She made a fool out of me.

What do you expect me to do? Congratulate her?

Maybe you don't understand. I think her letter was beautiful.

- I'm sure she's terribly unhappy. - Don't let her fool you.

She's probably laughing up her sleeve. She's engaged to another guy.

[growls] The chief was right.

He told me she was playing me for a chump all the time.

- Why are you sticking up for her? - I'm not sticking up for her.

I think she's a silly person who probably didn't realize how serious--

Baloney. Let's skip the whole thing. I don't wanna think about it.

It's over. From now on, it's a thing of the past.

What did I tell you, you irresponsible, seagoing Romeo?

Look at that. She's done it.

She had the colossal gall to pull it right under the nose of the navy department.

She's followed you to Washington.

Didn't I tell you she was out to exploit you?

Wait a minute, Chief. You don't have to worry about her anymore.

I brushed her off for good last night.

One with a bow line like that? How could you do it?

What's the difference? All that matters is we're washed up, and that's final.

-[Briggs] You sure? - Positively.

She's out of my life forever.

Well.

- Forever? - Yes. Forever.

I had it coming.

I was a sap to fall for an actress in the first place.

I'm not the type, and I should've known it.

But you're being so hasty.

I'm not being hasty. I'm just being sensible.

If I had a brain in my head, I'd fall for a girl like-- like you--

a girl who's sincere and honest and has both feet on the ground.

- Did you say like me? - Yes. You.

You wouldn't think of deceiving a fellow or lying to him.

You're the kind of a girl a fellow needs.

The ceiling's gonna fall right down on my head.

- What'd you say? - Oh-- Oh, I-- Oh--

I said I broke the lead.

Hey, wait a minute. What are you doing tonight?

- Oh, I've got a date. - Break it. I'm taking you to dinner.

Have you ever been to the Club Diplomacy?

- Well, not exactly. I-- - Well, that's where we're going.

-[Briggs] Dooley, come in here. - Okay, Chief. Coming.

I'll be back in a minute.

Talk yourself out of this one, Laura Jones.

[woman] Your hat, sir.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Dooley, but I don't think it's right for us to come here.

After all, I'm your stenographer, and people might talk.

Nonsense. You're not going to run into anybody you know.

And besides, they'll probably stick us behind a marble pillar.

Telephone, Mr. Hall. They're calling you from backstage.

Thanks.

- Hi, Eddie. - Tommy.

I want to talk to you. Be with you in just a second.

- Mario, get Mr. Dooley a ringside table. - This way, please.

- Nice break. - Mmm.

What? Miss Lorraine isn't here yet?

But her number goes on in five minutes. I'll be right there.

Good evening. A single, sir?

Yes. I'd like to be pretty well down front.

- I'm kind of hard of hearing. - Yes, sir. This way, please.

Have you had any luck?

No, sir, and I've tried calling every place I can think of.

- Including the receiving hospital. - This is all your fault.

If you hadn't brought that marine backstage, I wouldn't be in this jam.

Listen, brother, don't start throwing punches at me.

You'd better figure out what you're gonna tell that audience out there.

Tommy Dooley is out front. Maybe he can tell us where she is. Stay on that phone.

With the dinner, I want the best champagne in the house.

Yes, sir.

Excuse me, Mr. Dooley, but isn't this a rather expensive way to get even?

You think that's the only reason I brought you here?

I can't think of any other. Can you?

Well, let's not talk about it.

Miss Lorraine goes on in two minutes,

and then you can see how little she means to me.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if she didn't go on tonight.

- What makes you say that? - By the tone of her letter.

- She sounded awfully upset. - Well, she should be.

Pardon me, Tommy.

Meet my secretary. Miss Jones, Mr. Hall.

How do you do?

Good evening. Have you talked to Miss Lorraine today?

No. And what's more, I don't care if I ever do.

Oh, boy, am I in a spot. She's supposed to go on right now, and she hasn't shown up.

- Do you think anything's happened to her? - I don't know.

I've called every place in town, including the receiving hospitals.

- Have you tried the morgue? - The morgue?

You don't think for a minute she could've--

Now, wait. Don't get excited. People can be missing without being dead.

Miss Jones, why didn't you make me get in touch with her this morning?

Well, don't just stand there. Why don't you do something?

There's only one thing I can do: announce to the crowd she won't appear tonight.

I'm not thinking about your show. I'm worried about Miss Lorraine.

We've got to find her.

Don't jump on me. If you hadn't walked out on her last night--

- Pardon me. May I speak with you? - Yeah. What is it?

Miss McKay wants to know if you want her to go on first.

- She'll have to. Tell her to get ready. - Yes, sir.

What do you mean, if I hadn't walked out on her?

[music box plays]

♪ Listen, children Listen to your teacher ♪

♪ Pay attention and learn your ABC’s ♪

♪ And when you grow up You can be a quiz kid ♪

♪ Or a guest of honor ♪

♪ On Information Please ♪

♪ Listen, children Listen to your teacher ♪

♪ You gotta know your figures If you wanna be considered bright ♪

♪ Tell us more, oh, teacher ♪

♪ Tell us more, more, more ♪

♪ Listen, children Listen to your teacher ♪

♪ A boy plus a girl ♪

♪ Plus a rendezvous ♪

♪ Adds up to something divided by two ♪

[band] ♪ Tell us more, oh, teacher Tell us more ♪

♪ Much more, tell us more ♪

♪ Teacher♪

♪ If you wanna be teacher's pet ♪

♪ Here's a little motto that you mustn't ♪

♪ No, you dasn't ever forget ♪

♪ Don't carry tales out of school ♪

♪ 'Cause if you do, you're a fool ♪

♪ You mustn't tell everything you know ♪

♪ And keep it to yourself That I love you so much ♪

♪ Don't ♪

♪ Don't tell tall tales Make it a rule ♪

♪ And though a busybody may insist ♪

♪ Don't let on that we've kissed ♪

♪ If you're a blabbermouth You're off my list ♪

♪ So don't be a stubborn mule, baby ♪

♪ Don't carry tales ♪

♪ Tell us more, oh, teacher Tell us more ♪

♪ There's nothing but ridicule for A blabbermouth who breaks the rule ♪

♪ Don't carry tales ♪

♪ Out of school ♪

[audience applauding]

- That girl's a blonde bomber. - I don't know. I was engaged to her once.

What? You too? What is this? An epidemic?

Just about. She's engaged to 500 other guys.

Here comes one of them now.

Wait a minute. How dare you disobey orders?

Didn't I tell you to stay away from her,

and didn't you tell me this morning you were through?

Yeah, but look, Chief. I gotta find out what this is all about.

I'll tell you what it's all about. She's out to trap you.

You're all wrong. She's engaged to a marine.

She is not! He just told me it was all off.

- Are you sure? - Certainly I'm sure.

I told you you don't know anything about women.

- Thanks. - Wait a minute. Where you going?

To take your advice, Chief, and learn about women.

-[grumbles] - Hello there. Long time no see.

[clears throat]

- No, you don't, Tommy. - Oh, now, Eddie.

- Not now. - Be reasonable.

She's changing her costume for the next number.

[instrumental]

♪ Did, did, did-d-d-d-did you hear ♪

♪ The story of the very merry widow ♪

♪ The merry widow Used to go for waltzes ♪

♪ And she danced a minuet Surprisingly swell ♪

♪ But she threw her waltzes away ♪

♪ Yep, the widow is hep today ♪

♪ Now the little lady Likes to do the rumba ♪

♪ And she really does it socko ♪

♪ At the Stork and El Morocco ♪

♪ Where they say she knows Her sambas very, very well ♪

♪ The merry widow used to go for operas ♪

♪ In the royal box She looked majestically swell ♪

♪ Now she gives her tickets away ♪

♪ And she's right in the groove today ♪

♪ For the little lady Likes a bit of boogie-woogie ♪

♪ And she traded Traviata For a trumpet's ra-ta-ta-ta ♪

♪ And they say she digs her jivin' ♪

♪ Very, very well ♪

♪ When it was teatime She used to stop in ♪

♪ For a cup of tea with Mrs. Abercrombie ♪

♪ But now at teatime She likes to drop in ♪

♪ For a double scotch and soda Or a Zombie ♪

♪ The merry widow ♪

♪ Wore the smartest dresses ♪

♪ In the sheerest black She looked excitingly swell ♪

♪ But she packed her pretties away ♪

♪ Wears a uniform every day ♪

♪ Now the little lady Has no time for dancing ♪

♪ Does her job with great devotion ♪

♪ She's a cinch for big promotion ♪

♪ And they say she does her duties Very, very well ♪

♪ Very, very well ♪

♪ Very, very well ♪

[all] ♪ Now she hasn't any time for sambas ♪

♪ And she hasn't a minute To spare for boogie-woogie ♪

♪ Hip-hip hooray, she's on her way ♪

♪ No time to play now ♪

♪ This merry little widow Is a busy little widow ♪

♪ Working for the USA ♪

[fanfare]

[drumbeats]

Company, atten-hut!

First and second squads, right. Third and fourth squads, left. Face!

Right shoulder arms. Hup-hup-hip-ho.

Forward harch. Second platoon to the rip, harch.

Now the left flank, harch.

Left flank, harch.

First platoon to the rip, harch.

Company, halt.

Order arms. Hup-hup-hip-ho.

Right shoulder arms. Hup-hup-hip-ho.

Left shoulder arms. Hup-hup-hip-ho.

Port arms. Hup-hup. Right shoulder arms.

Hup-hup-hip. Port arms.

Hup-hup. Inspection arms.

Hup-hup-hip. Port arms. Hup-hup-hip-ho.

Order arms. Hup-hup-hip.

[band plays]

Right shoulder arms. Hup-hup-hip-ho.

Left flank, harch.

Forward arms. Hup-hup.

To the rip, harch.

Company halt. Forward harch.

Company halt. Forward harch.

For the left flank, harch. To the left shoulder, arms.

Hup-hup. Third squad to the rip, harch.

Second squad to the rip, harch.

Third squad to the rip, harch. Fourth squad to the rip, harch.

First squad to the rip, harch. Second squad to the rip, harch.

Third squad to the rip, harch.

Fourth squad to the rip, harch. Left step, right step, rip, harch.

Right shoulder arms. Hup-hup-hip-ho.

To the right flank, harch.

To the rip, harch. Rip, harch. Rip, harch.

To the right flank, harch.

[band plays]

To the rip, harch.

Without a pause, company halt.

Hup-hup-hip-ho.

Hup-hup-hip-ho. Marching manual.

Arms. Hup-hup-hip-ho.

Hup-hup-hip-ho. Hup-hup-hip-ho.

Hup-hup-hip-ho. Hup-hup-hip-ho.

Hup-hup-hip-ho. Hup-hup-hip-ho.

Hup-hup-hip-ho. Hup-hup-hip-ho.

Hup-hup-hip-ho. Hup-hup-hip-ho.

Hup-hup-hip-ho. To the rip, harch.

Hup-hup-hip-ho. Hup-hup-hip-ho.

Hup-hup-hip-ho.

Come on. Cover up there. Hup-hup-hip.

To the left flank, harch.

First platoon to the rip, harch.

To the left flank, harch.

First squad to the rip, harch. Second squad to the rip, harch.

Third squad to the rip, harch. Fourth squad to the rip, harch.

First squad to the rip, harch. Second squad to the rip, harch.

Third squad to the rip, harch. Fourth squad to the rip, harch.

Flank platoon to the rip, harch.

To the rip, harch. Company right, harch.

Come on. Guss it up there. Dress up those lines.

To the rip, harch. Hup-hup.

To the rip, harch. Company halt. Forward harch.

[audience applauding]