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1
00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:15,200
The fact it's empty
is the least of our problems.
2
00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,040
And I have my furniture...
-Oh yes,
3
00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:19,480
you got your furniture
and a wonderful house
4
00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:21,120
much better than any we've seen.
5
00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:22,640
Don't repeat it everywhere.
6
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:25,280
My furniture
has to be somewhere.
7
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,280
Well, it's all
in the removal van?
8
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,960
There you go. Great.
Why do we keep on looking
9
00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:30,920
for a home?
10
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,480
The driver can park up
at Puerta del Sol and we're done.
11
00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,000
Arrange the furniture and
we can live inside.
12
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:38,720
Cheap and central and in summer,
a paella in the van.
13
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,200
That's not the right attitude
for us to find a house together.
14
00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:42,680
Oh sorry, but you started.
15
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:43,960
Shall we ask her
16
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:45,280
who started?
-Okay.
17
00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:48,880
Shall we go to the kitchen?
18
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,440
-What for?
-So you can take a look.
19
00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:52,120
You're going to love it.
-Me?
20
00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:54,760
Why? Because I'm a woman
my place is in the kitchen?
21
00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:56,480
I don't like the insinuation.
22
00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:58,440
Right, you don't like cooking.
23
00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,040
I don't know how to fry an egg.
Any problem with that?
24
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:02,320
I'll go, I'll go.
25
00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:04,320
Yes. This way please.
26
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:08,480
Ah.
27
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:11,880
Oh, it's ceramic.
28
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:14,320
I'm more of a
gas person.
29
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:16,160
But why? It works fine.
30
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:17,600
-Ok, but...
-Daddy.
31
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,520
You always find cons
since you don't want to buy it.
32
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,320
-Here's clever clogs.
-Sorry?
33
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,160
No, no, I didn't mean you.
34
00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:26,320
I was talking to...
35
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,040
the kitchen.
36
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,120
It's just that... I like to bond
with the fittings
37
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,520
to... to see
if we get on.
38
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:37,000
Okay, well come with me...
39
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:38,520
Buy a house for Pete's sake,
40
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,360
I have to be born somewhere.
41
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,440
If you don't button it,
we'll put you in the van
42
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:43,840
and lock you in it.
43
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:46,920
Excuse me, what did you say?
44
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:50,120
Hey... what van?
I didn't say anything about a van.
45
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:52,160
Well, I didn't say anything about
a van.
46
00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:53,760
Okay, that's it.
47
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:54,840
Okay, what?
48
00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:56,960
Are we off?
49
00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,000
-Eh...
-Yes. Yes.
50
00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:00,520
It's best if you go.
51
00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,240
Because, let's face it,
this house isn't your style.
52
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,240
Dad.
53
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:24,160
Dad.
54
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:30,160
Ah!
55
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,160
What the hell are you doing here?
56
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,080
We're out of apricot
marmalade.
57
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,320
And you have to get into my bed
to tell me about it?
58
00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:42,760
C'mon, Josemi, you can't be here
all day long,
59
00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:44,760
barging in on me
in my own home.
60
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,040
Do you think I wouldn't rather
be with Carolina?
61
00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:48,760
-Well, go back to her!
-She doesn't want me.
62
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:50,960
Well, find yourself
a new family.
63
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:52,560
You are my family.
64
00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,600
But if you don't
want me to be here with you...
65
00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:57,040
Well, I don't,
66
00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:59,920
and even less with that glum,
bored look on your face.
67
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,080
All day long in
slippers and old-fashioned pyjamas.
68
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:04,160
Please!
69
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,200
But this house
is mine, Elisa.
70
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,160
It's not like that top
you lent me
71
00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,160
which I didn't give back
because you forgot.
72
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,040
-Which top?
-The purple cashmere one.
73
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,640
-You slag, give it back.
-I won't, you didn't even remember.
74
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,880
Anyway, a house isn't a sweater.
Don't get confused.
75
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:27,600
How long have you been
drinking cognac in the morning?
76
00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:28,840
It'll be her new boyfriend's.
77
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:30,680
Well, this one is
at least twenty years old.
78
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:33,280
What are you trying to say?
I don't get off with adolescents.
79
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:34,760
I meant the cognac.
80
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,240
Oh.
81
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,480
Yes, well, I love
congac like that, full-flavoured.
82
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:41,080
When did you start drinking cognac?
83
00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:43,760
You know, flying the plane,
if there's turbulance.
84
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:46,360
They give you those little bottles,
so you try them all.
85
00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,320
And now you have it
for breakfast.
86
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,040
No. I mean yes.
Well, sometimes. On Sunday.
87
00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:53,560
-It's Tuesday.
-And sometimes on Tuesdays.
88
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,840
-Your toyboy is here, right?
-No. And he's not a toyboy.
89
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,360
Just a normal human being.
90
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,320
If he's knocking back the cognac
as soon as he gets up,
91
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:01,520
he can't be that normal.
-Okay.
92
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,760
He's in the shower. Leave me alone.
But he's not my boyfriend.
93
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,800
So you bring along
some guy who is not
94
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,040
your boyfriend here.
-What? Are you nuts?
95
00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:11,640
No, he only got here.
-But you put him in my bed.
96
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,360
It's not your bed anymore,
it's my house now and my bed,
97
00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:15,720
so you can get out.
98
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,520
Get out of here. Go and find a
woman.
99
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,160
C'mon, out.
-But where can I go?
100
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:23,280
How should I know? Go and play pool,
go to the bloody Prado museum.
101
00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:24,640
I don't know.
-How can I go out
102
00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:27,720
in pyjamas and slippers?
-In pyjamas and slippers?
103
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,080
The kid has got
an excuse for everything.
104
00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:33,360
But do you know how long it's
been since I spoke to a woman?
105
00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:36,760
Here, use this.
106
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,000
You want me to tie her up
and bring her here?
107
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,680
Take the dog, son.
108
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,760
Dogs work wonders if you
want to meet women.
109
00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:49,840
Did it work for you?
-No, not for me.
110
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,440
I always left her
in the park and went to the bar.
111
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,160
Cute little thing,
let's go for a walk.
112
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,840
Nothing. Even the dog knows
I'm a loser.
113
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,320
-And if you go to your dad's place?
-No way.
114
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,800
-Your brother's?
-No way.
115
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,720
-You lived with him before.
-Exactly.
116
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,120
I know what he is, I won't go back
to that hell.
117
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:12,880
He's got his peculiarities,
but he's nice.
118
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:15,120
Well, you go back to him
and give us back my house.
119
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:17,680
-He's with his wife.
-What's it to you if he's married?
120
00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:19,520
She doesn't like the fact
Nacho's married.
121
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,560
-I'm off to buy apricot marmalade.
-That's it!
122
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:26,680
You're not going out to get
the bloody marmalade.
123
00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:28,760
-But dad...
-No dad, no nothing.
124
00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:31,240
You're going to have a shower,
get dressed,
125
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:32,560
walk out of this door,
126
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,720
and come back with
a crumpet you've picked up.
127
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:39,880
That's it. Then, along with her,
you can leave this house again.
128
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,920
Leave me alone,
I'm not leaving.
129
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,000
I'm sorry.
And get out of here, because...
130
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,280
Because what? Is your toyboy
going to come out of the shower
131
00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,160
and get upset?
-He's not a toyboy.
132
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,160
No, if he's slurping cognac
for breakfast,
133
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:51,520
he's more likely somewhat mature.
134
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:52,720
Or maybe vintage.
135
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,040
You got away from the bed?
136
00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,320
Oh, Jesús, sorry.
137
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,120
Thought you were in the shower.
-Who were you talking to?
138
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:03,720
No one, Jehovah's witnesses.
139
00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,800
You could have told them
you didn't need them,
140
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,040
you'd already found...
141
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:11,360
Jesús.
142
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,640
Still with the same old
shitty clothes?
143
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:21,080
That other thing just isn't me.
144
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:23,400
You'll have changed
your underwear at least.
145
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,880
No, I don't mean that they're
clean undies,
146
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:26,960
though that as well.
147
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,560
I'm talking about the kind of
undies you've got on.
148
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:32,360
I don't know, just normal,
special offer, who cares?
149
00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:34,040
Someone, someone cares.
150
00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:37,760
It's not the same to go around
with some well-fitting boxers,
151
00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:40,520
holding it all in place,
giving you confidence and security,
152
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:44,520
as going out... everything loose,
unprotected, please.
153
00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:46,000
Drop your trousers.
154
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,240
-What?
-Take your trousers down,
155
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,080
I don't trust you,
you are capable of
156
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,720
wearing something with
pictures of little smurfs on it.
157
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:00,360
No smurfs.
158
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,880
But they're like the ones my
father wore after the war.
159
00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:06,920
Okay, we can swop,
if you want.
160
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,800
What are you saying, that's
disgusting!
161
00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:10,800
At my age,
I go commando.
162
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,120
You go what?
163
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:14,320
Commando,
all hanging loose.
164
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,320
Look.
-Dad!
165
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:17,800
Dad?
166
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,800
Okay, see you later.
You two get on with it, uh?
167
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:28,960
Why don't you two go and live
with your dad?
168
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:31,720
-Dad's dead.
-What? Are you kidding!
169
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,720
Did he die?
Why didn't you tell me?
170
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,880
Because it's a lie, he's not dead.
But Javi doesn't speak to him.
171
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,600
Precisely because he's alive.
172
00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:41,720
If he was dead I'd visit his
his grave to spit on it, probably.
173
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:45,040
-Ok, come to my place.
-I'd prefer to go to David's.
174
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,920
Have you noticed there aren't so
many ducks on the river these days?
175
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,800
I'm going to take a look.
-Don't be a jerk.
176
00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:52,560
You don't want me in your house?
-It's not that I don't want to, Javi.
177
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,000
Just that I've got my sister
living with me.
178
00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,160
I'm sure that the two of you
don't take up much space.
179
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,400
Why don't you get lost?
I'd rather get a house.
180
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,480
-But why mine?
-I don't want to go to yours.
181
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:06,080
I just want you to make the offer,
like a friend would.
182
00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:09,480
Don't get all melodramatic, Javi,
finding a place isn't that difficult.
183
00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:11,840
I'm not looking for a house,
any old house, no.
184
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,440
I'm looking for 'the house',
know what I mean? My house.
185
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:17,320
I mean, the house
where I can start a family.
186
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,480
Are you looking for
a house or a bird?
187
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:21,600
That's it.
188
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,680
Of course, that's
what you have to look for.
189
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:27,040
Got one already. I don't know
if you remember, blonde, like...
190
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:28,240
I don't know if...
-No, no.
191
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,320
To find the house, you have to apply
the same criteria
192
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,840
as when you were looking for girls,
do you get it?
193
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:38,720
Sure! With the house, do the same
as when you look for a man.
194
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,480
What? Sleep in a different one each
time and never the same one twice?
195
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:45,400
Look for the ideal house as if you
were looking for the ideal boyfriend
196
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:48,360
If you look on the internet
it's the same as with guys,
197
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,520
all the photos look divine,
but then you come up against reality.
198
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,880
That's the key!
Look, look, think about it.
199
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,120
Can you remember how you felt the
first time you saw Marta?
200
00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:59,360
I realised that she was the one.
201
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:01,320
That's the good part of getting off
with someone when you're not drunk.
202
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:03,440
I got off with your cleaning lady
in some dive
203
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:06,040
I didn't realize it was her until
the following day.
204
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,200
Eh... Nacho,
she's a married woman
205
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:11,120
with three kids in Guatemala.
206
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,800
Okay, we're talking about houses,
houses, no?
207
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,960
Adverts for houses
are like men,
208
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:17,640
the good ones are already taken.
209
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,960
Yes, darling, and if you're not
quick someone will snatch them away.
210
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:23,680
And all you're left with are
second-hand options,
211
00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:26,360
ugly and old.
-And they all lie about the size.
212
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,840
They say they want to be reformed,
but the bastards never change.
213
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:30,920
Javi.'
214
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,200
If you and Marta want to come to
my place for a while...
215
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:35,400
it's there for you.
216
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:37,160
-Seriously?
-Yes.
217
00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:40,560
I heard you say to David earlier
that you wanted us to make the offer.
218
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,640
But don't accept it
for christ's sake.
219
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:45,440
This is what friends are for, hey?
220
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,520
Right, get to fuck.
I'm off to find my house.
221
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,120
Put it on my tab.
222
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,360
And with friends like you
this is the road to ruin.
223
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:56,280
50% of the beers I sell here are
the ones you drink, but
224
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:59,680
as you don't pay for half of them.
-That still makes 25%.
225
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,560
-Hey?
-If we drink 50%
226
00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:03,680
and we don't pay for half of them,
227
00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:05,880
we still count for 25%
of what you make,
228
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:09,000
so treat us right if you want us
to come back, okay?
229
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:11,400
One day I'll close this place.
You'll miss me.
230
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:14,600
Yes, of course.
Do you know the boy who cried wolf?
231
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,880
Bring some beers,
I'll pay for them tomorrow.
232
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,520
Well, this is the last,
there aren't any more.
233
00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:27,680
Let's be positive.
This one has a lot of potential.
234
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:31,560
Oh... yes, yes, I think it's perfect
for a seance...
235
00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,840
or for hiding corpses...
236
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,840
The key question is renovation.
237
00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:39,240
If we take down this wall
and get rid of what's over there,
238
00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:40,640
we can put in a walk-in closet.
239
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,040
Hey... Marta,
That's the bathroom.
240
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,680
Well, we can put the bathroom
where the kitchen is.
241
00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:47,440
-And the kitchen?
-Where the living room is.
242
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:48,840
And the living room?
243
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:52,040
Having a living room is obsolete.
Nobody watches TV any more.
244
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,240
Do you watch TV?
245
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,000
Not really but if
I feel like...
246
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,800
I don't know, reading
by the fireplace.
247
00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,320
Are you living in the
sixteenth century?
248
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,720
So, your plan is to tear down walls
to rearrange everything
249
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,320
and to build a room to
keep our clothes in?
250
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:09,720
'Our'? No, sorry,
where I can keep my clothes.
251
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,240
Your clothes can go in
a wardrobe somewhere.
252
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:13,840
There's a nice one in the hallway.
253
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,600
Yes, yes, that's the fusebox
for the lights.
254
00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:18,280
Well, you'll be able to see better.
255
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,560
Okay, well that's it. Brilliant.
256
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:22,880
We still haven't found the house.
257
00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,360
Maybe the house that his lordship
wants doesn't exist.
258
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:26,800
Yes, it exists. It was mine.
259
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:28,320
The person who bought it must think:
260
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:31,160
'How could the owner be so stupid
as to sell it?".
261
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,400
Do you regret selling your house?
262
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,760
-Wait, wait.
-Careful. Careful.
263
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:45,200
Eh! You'll do yourself an injury!
264
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:47,080
Dad, I'm not getting in
a rowing boat.
265
00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:48,440
It's too pathetic even for me.
266
00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,440
Don't you remember
I get sea sick?
267
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,200
Son, I don't
remember your name,
268
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,200
so how can I remember what
daft things you did as a kid.
269
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,880
Anyhow, there's no sea here.
270
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,640
This is the lake in the
Casa de Campo.
271
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,880
The best place in Spain to
pick up women.
272
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,160
The last person
who picked up a woman here
273
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,760
was Alfredo Landa's grandfather.
Shut up will you? Here.
274
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:05,200
C'mon, get in.
275
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:06,640
Look, look.
276
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,800
Look at those two.
Attack them from starboard.
277
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,240
Go.
-Yes, and if you like,
278
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,080
I'll board the boat
like a pirate.
279
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,720
Perfect!
Like a dodgem car.
280
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,360
That always works, hey?
281
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:19,840
Firstly, move in from the front,
so they know you're going to ram.
282
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:22,080
Dad, I'm going home,
I'm going to get soaked.
283
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:23,280
You'll see.
-Josete!
284
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,000
I'll make you understand, damn it!
285
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,880
If you want to fish,
you have to get wet.
286
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,280
'He's really masculine.'
287
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,640
As soon as the going gets rough,
what does he do?
288
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:32,840
Blame me.
289
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,880
And at heart, your house isn't
what matters.
290
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,600
What's happening is that
I scare you,
291
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,200
you're afraid of living with me.
292
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:44,680
Hey... look,
at the risk of being boring,
293
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:47,000
I repeat again that I am not
a psychologist.
294
00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:49,720
We don't want a psychologist,
we're right in the head.
295
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,080
But this thing with the house
has got us a little...
296
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,920
But the reason you're here is
so you can be helped to have kids.
297
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,920
But if you are looking for a
house first, perfect.
298
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,800
There's an estate agents
over the road.
299
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,320
Just cross the street...
-Wait.
300
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,840
What do you mean
'first ...',
301
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:06,880
do you mean that before we find a
house we should have kids?
302
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,360
No, what he means is that
with kids being so important,
303
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,200
we should buy the house
with them in mind. Is that it?
304
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,040
Well,I don't know.
I've no idea, truth be told.
305
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:18,040
Have you seen that film
with Robert De Niro where he says...
306
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:21,280
'You're good, doctor,
307
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,280
you're very good you doctor'?
308
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:26,680
I'm going to tell my brother
Josemi to come and see you.
309
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:30,040
Want he children with his partner?
-Don't think so, he's got three
310
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:31,920
and they've split up,
but it'll be good for him.
311
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:34,360
I think it'd be a good idea
if we stopped seeing each other.
312
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,240
Was it something that
we did?
313
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:38,840
No, perish the thought,
it's not you, it's me, I'm a doctor.
314
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:40,080
Doctor, doctor.
315
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:42,080
And we doctors do
doctor stuff.
316
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:43,920
And I sell wedding dresses.
317
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:46,760
And one time a woman came
with her overweight daughter
318
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,320
who wanted to be the most beautiful girl
at her first communion.
319
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,560
So I made her a dress and
she was so happy.
320
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,840
Why can't you do
the same kind of thing for us?
321
00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:00,520
Dad, how did you meet mum?
322
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,000
Very easy.
323
00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:03,800
I asked her for a dance
324
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:06,080
and she said yes right away.
-Of course.
325
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,520
Then, there weren't
many boys in the village.
326
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:10,120
What boys? What village?
327
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:13,400
Your mum was born in Chamberi
and I was born in Leganitos Street.
328
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,320
We were in the hippest place
in Madrid.
329
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,120
It even had a transvestite.
330
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,480
Cleofax was the name.
331
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:21,800
The transvestite?
332
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,640
No. For godsake. The place.
333
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:28,920
Maybe it's still there?
I'll take you tonight.
334
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:30,600
Thanks dad,
335
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:32,880
but I don't think getting off
with a 70 year old
336
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:36,080
will help me forget Carolina.
-Okay, okay, just go with the flow.
337
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:37,280
Trust me.
338
00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:38,640
No, no! Careful! No!
339
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,520
Dad! Help, dad!
-Help!
340
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,560
I'm drowning!
-He can't swim!
341
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:45,720
Dad!
342
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,240
Please!
343
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,920
Won't someone jump in, please!
344
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,520
-Get me out of here!
-Hold on, Josete, hold on!
345
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,520
What do you have to think about
when you have a child?
346
00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:54,680
The school.
347
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,440
So we find the best school
and look for a house close by.
348
00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,280
Wouldn't it be better to sign him
up for football straight away?
349
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,280
Football instead of school
is another option.
350
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,280
We might end up with the
the next Cristiano Ronaldo.
351
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:06,760
We'll have to find a school.
352
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:15,920
Excuse me. Are they coming out now?
-Yes, in five minutes.
353
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:17,480
Hey...
354
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:21,040
Sorry, just that we were arguing
yesterday, me and my wife...
355
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,200
Is this one of the schools where
you can leave the kids to sleep?
356
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:27,080
Er... No,
It's not a boarding school.
357
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:29,000
-Ah.
-Hey... Sorry.
358
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:32,440
But... not even for a couple of days
or the odd weekend?
359
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,720
Sorry. Which mothers' Whatsapp
group are you in?
360
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:38,040
In the one...
361
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,400
in the one for those who aren't
mothers yet but who are trying.
362
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:42,880
I didn't want to carry on lying.
363
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,960
Don't want to be the usual parents,
hovering over their kids all day.
364
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:47,560
We want them to be free.
365
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:49,920
For example, they can do
their homework themselves.
366
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,240
Do you give them a lot here?
367
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,120
It depends on the course.
Which one is your child in?
368
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,280
-Er...
-He's over there.
369
00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,280
Hey mum, you're late again?
370
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:01,440
No, she meant the other one,
371
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,040
the one sitting down over there.
372
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:04,720
Are you sure?
373
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,320
José Manuel. José Manuel!
374
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:08,840
José M...!
375
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,880
We think he has attention deficit.
376
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:13,120
We're going to speak to him.
377
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,520
Hey, kiddo! Hey, Buster!
378
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,280
If I give you some sweets,
will you do something for me?
379
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:24,840
'Paedofools'! 'Paedofools'!
380
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:26,440
'Paedofools'!
-Shut up, kid!
381
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,280
'Paedofools'!
-Shut up, you little bastard.
382
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:31,000
'Paedofools'! 'Paedofools'!
'Paedofools'!
383
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:33,960
'The important thing is that they
grow up with loads of kids around.'
384
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:37,000
The most important thing for who?
I'm not living in a communal block.
385
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,720
If it's better for the kids
in a block of flats, so be it.
386
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,040
What's wrong with it?
387
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,320
Well, well,
this is going to be awesome, hey?
388
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:47,240
Here we are always getting together.
389
00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:49,960
Barbecues on Saturdays,
kids' parties,
390
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,880
Seven-a-side for the dads on Sunday.
391
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:53,400
Do you know what we're called?
392
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:54,960
The Barrabas.
393
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:56,920
Bar...rabus
394
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,360
Because after we go to the 'bar by
bus'...
395
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:02,240
Julio thought it up,
he's in block 3, what a wag!
396
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:03,600
What a laugh.
397
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,080
You can join the womens'
running club.
398
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:09,960
They don't run much,
but they know how to slag people.
399
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:11,040
They meet up to slag people off.
400
00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:12,760
It's like one big family.
401
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:14,920
Look, here's my little one.
Marquitos!
402
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:17,520
Say hi to the new neighbours.
403
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:18,960
Look at him.
-Oh!
404
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:22,280
'Paedofools'! 'Paedofools'!
405
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:24,120
'Paedofools"! "Paedofools'!
406
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:27,000
'Paedofools'! 'Paedofools'!
'Paedofools'!
407
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,800
Health,
that's the most important thing.
408
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,800
We'll find a house close to
a hospital or clinic.
409
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:33,520
'A good paediatrician.'
410
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:35,960
And how long
have you been doing this?
411
00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:37,160
Seven years.
412
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,000
Um... and that, for a paediatrician,
it's not a long time is it?
413
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,440
Well, I mean that...
414
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,800
speaking in
general terms,
415
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:47,520
the babies you've dealt with
will be seven at most,
416
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,400
and at that age
it's a bit early to know
417
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,160
if you have done
your work well or not.
418
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:52,640
Isn't it?
419
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,720
Don't worry,
you'll be in safe hands.
420
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,120
Shall we have a look to see
how he is?
421
00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:58,880
-The baby's fine.
-Yes.
422
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,480
But maybe you're rocking him
a bit forcefully.
423
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,080
If you let me...
424
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:07,160
I need a poo. I need a poo.'
425
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:10,840
He's adopted.
426
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,360
There should be a Trip Advisor
for doctors,
427
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,840
so you can see if
there's a five star paediatrician
428
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,280
in your neighbourhood.
429
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,640
Javi, we've seen 500 houses
looking for the house.
430
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,320
We should lower the bar
if we can't find one.
431
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,440
Maybe it should
find us.
432
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,920
Well, maybe it isn't sure about
our whereabouts.
433
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,240
Or it got lost on the M30.
434
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,680
Or it doesn't exist.
-You wanted the perfect house,
435
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,120
like in a romantic comedy.
436
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,880
Now you'll make do with anything?
-No, I still want it but now
437
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,840
I'm not sure
if we're not fooling ourselves.
438
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:41,880
We wanted to have a child,
we can't.
439
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,280
We wanted a house,
none of them are right.
440
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:46,200
Perhaps, at heart,
we don't want
441
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,360
to have a house
or to have a kid.
442
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:52,640
-Look, you've made it cry.
-Javi, I'm serious.
443
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,040
Are you sure you want this?
444
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:56,560
I put my house in a removal van
to go off with you,didn't I?
445
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,840
Yes, yes it was lovely to
see you roll up in a van,
446
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,400
with opera playing and flowers.
447
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,160
It was great, but it's not enough.
448
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,400
It wasn't a bunch of flowers,
it was a bunch of kiwis.
449
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:07,240
That's what I mean,
everything is a joke to you.
450
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:08,960
They weren't even flowers.
451
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:15,920
What are you doing?
452
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:26,400
What are you doing?
453
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,960
The kids thing is more complicated
than I thought,
454
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,120
the house thing as well,
but as for the flowers,
455
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:32,640
I'll sort it out right away.
456
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:38,840
Javi.
457
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:40,320
Javi, are you nuts?
458
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,640
You can't just come in here.
459
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:45,280
What are you doing?
460
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,560
We can't sort things out this way.
461
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,120
We have to do it step by step.
462
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,680
But for the moment I'm just happy
that... they don't have a dog.
463
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,760
Hello.
464
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,720
Are you here to see the house?
465
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,760
We got here a bit early.
466
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,280
I tell you, this place will fill
up with talent any time now.
467
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,480
Why are you touching yourself there?
-My undies are too tight.
468
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:25,600
I'm not sure. And I don't drink
whiskey. It's best if we go.
469
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:28,880
What a downer you are. Look. That's
where I got off with your mother.
470
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:32,120
She saw me dancing under the ball
and she started dribbling.
471
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:35,040
-Dad.
-What?
472
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:37,240
-You've never danced in your life.
-What would you know?
473
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:40,000
Were you there? No.
-No. You're right there.
474
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,000
Here among all these oldies,
I just don't fit.
475
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:43,120
Oldies no...
476
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:45,320
Veterans.
477
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,120
And here's the jewel in the crown.
478
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,480
Look. They're like children to me.
479
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,000
I've watched them grow...
480
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:08,520
What I'd like is they make you
as happy as they've made me.
481
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,320
So why are you selling the house?
-I've been a widow for two years
482
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,280
and I'd like to spend my
last years in Marbella,
483
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,960
with someone who does everything
for me, of course.
484
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:19,680
-Are you going to an residence?
-A residence?
485
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:21,240
A hotel, please.
486
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:25,000
And I'll see if I find a boy
who bangs me, you know what I mean?
487
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,240
because it's been a while...
488
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:34,400
It's very nice but I have no idea
how to look after plants.
489
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:35,560
Me neither.
490
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:37,680
Finally, something
we have in common.
491
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,400
You're father and son, right?
492
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,360
How did you know?
493
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,000
You're not saying that
he looks like me...
494
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:47,880
And you've come to score... here?
495
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,480
No, no, no.
I'm just here to accompany him.
496
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,440
I don't hand out advice, but in this
case I will, José Miguel.
497
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:55,200
If you want to score, go on Tinder.
498
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,200
Thousands of women
at your fingertips.
499
00:21:57,360 --> 00:21:58,720
My fingertips?
500
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,080
Bars are going out of date
because of Tinder.
501
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:03,760
-Ah. And you're on Tinder, right?
-Right.
502
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:05,480
That's where I met my girlfriend.
503
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,480
-Is that a message from Tinder?
-Er... No, no.
504
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,640
It's my son,
he's waiting for me outside.
505
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,640
Why don't you tell him to come
in and he can meet...
506
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:19,600
mine?
-No.
507
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:22,480
I don't let him hang around me
when I'm on the prowl.
508
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,400
He makes me look old,
know what I mean.
509
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:26,360
Another piece of advice:
you should do the same
510
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:27,760
and say he's your pal.
511
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,480
Even better, I could say
I've never seen him before.
512
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:31,560
Ah.
513
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:37,400
Very well.
514
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:39,200
Well...
515
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:42,840
What?
516
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,360
Sorry son, I was a bit busy.
517
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,880
No worries, dad. In this job
I have to wait around a lot.
518
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,480
In this car I feel more at home
than on my sofa.
519
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:57,840
I don't mean my wife.
We're fine.
520
00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:59,520
I mean...
-Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
521
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,120
Have you spoken to your brother
about me?
522
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:10,280
I tried to insist, dad, I really
did, but he doesn't want to see you.
523
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:13,240
Things can't go on like this.
Give me his home address.
524
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:14,320
He hasn't got one.
525
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:17,080
Okay, let's see, now he's looking
for a house with his girlfriend.
526
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,920
but as soon as he finds one,
I'll give you his address.
527
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:21,640
It hurts me for us to be like this.
528
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,040
Hey, son,
can I ask you for something else?
529
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:27,600
Would you give me a...?
-Do you want me to give you a hug?
530
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,880
No. No, no, a bottle of water.
531
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:32,240
Ah.
532
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,480
Thanks.
-It's a bit warm.
41662
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