Original subtitles

I cannot bear eating alone,

even when I was a small boy.

You were never a small boy.

I knew she wouldn't come.

I win the bet.

Name your pleasure.

Your problem is

you try to control women without understanding them.

Problem? I never found it a problem.

Women know what I want.

They do what I expect.

Then where is she?

You see? You did exactly what I expected.

And again!

By the way, Karl...

your fly is open.

-Hello.

Wups.

It's your wife, Mr. Hart.

Thank you.

Hello, sweetheart.

Jonathon?

You're not flying the plane without a copilot again, are you?

Safety is my middle name.

Copilot's sitting right next to me.

JENNIFER: Munich is even more beautiful than I remember.

Munich?

Isn't that a coincidence?

JONATHAN: I'm flying over Germany right now.

Well then maybe you can come to my party!

You're giving a party?

Yes I am! It's my anniversary.

Mine too. What a coincidence.

Who's all invited to this party?

Oh, just my closest friends in Munich.

Housekeeping, room service, the doorman...

Save me a seat on your right.

I have to be at the Deutsche Telekom meeting in Berlin,

so I won't be there till after lunch.

Have I told you how proud I am of what you're doing?

You'd do the same thing.

That's why I married you.

Auf wiedersehen, Liebchen.

Auf wiedersehen, Schatzi.

I'm crazy about that girl.

Okay, okay.

A deal's a deal.

Paws up.

Not bad.

If you had thumbs, I'd let you land it.

MAN: Emergency!

Clear the way, clear the way.

Danke. Thank you.

Emergency!

Emergency. Doctor, thank heavens you're here.

Quick, quick, quick! Stat, stat!

VOICE: Doctor please to radiology.

Just in time.

For young Maximilian's recovery.

Now, it should hang directly above his bed.

Supervise it for me, will you?

-Peter, I'm a surgeon. -Yes...

and I am your employer.

I want this in skilled hand. Please

-Okay, okay. -Peter.

Doctor, would you please excuse us?

For sure, Simone.

Peter, can't we go somewhere private?

I need to talk with you.

You're having second thoughts about the wedding, aren't you?

Do you know how I know?

I've had second thoughts about the wedding.

Me, the man who's about to become the luckiest husband

in the world.

Perhaps...

-it will happen too fast. -Not fast enough for me.

If it weren't so right,

neither of us would be nervous. It's people who don't love each other

who settle for being comfortable.

No sparks,

no doubts.

We'll never feel that way about each other.

I see my timing is impeccable.

I've been looking for you, Simone.

Karl needs to meet with you about the prenuptial ball.

This is not exactly the right...

time, Elsa.

No, this is the perfect time, darling.

I have to go meet the bone-marrow donor at the hotel.

But don't you forget! We're all going to have dinner later.

I love you.

Karl was very disappointed you didn't join him for breakfast.

Really?

VOICE: Doctor to Emergency.

Lock her in my trunk.

Follow Peters. See where he goes. She may have told him nothing, but I can't be sure.

Mr. Donner.

What?

Peter Donner?

Of the Donner Clinic?

Peter Donner?

Oh...

Yes!

You are Mrs. Hart?

Jennifer.

Were those for me?

Well, they even look pretty here on the floor.

You

are our bone

Yes.

Is everything all right?

Oh, yes, it's...

It's just that you look so much like someone that I know.

It's my fiancee, as a matter of fact.

Really? Well, I'll take that as a compliment.

Won't you come in?

Is...

you husband here?

No, not yet.

It's our anniversary.

I was just on my way out to buy him a present on the Maximilian Strasse.

Oh, well since you're my guest here in Munich,

allow me to show you a few of my favorite stores.

Oh, thank you! That would be great.

My German's a little rusty. I could use the help.

JENNIFER: I know I wasn't planning to shop for myself,

but under the circumstances, who could resist?

I know... I know you must think I'm an idiot, the way I keep staring at you.

How did she get out of Elsa's trunk?

-Of course I locked it.

I know how to lock a car trunk.

I've got to call Simone.

The resemblance is too uncanny. She's got to meet you right away.

Can you manage?

Sure.

I'll be back in one second.

Okay!

I can manage!

Hello.

What are you doing with my boxes? Wait, but those are my packages!

Help me, somebody!

Help!

Help!

Go!

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

I hope his nose

hurts worse than my hand.

Oh, you are wonderful. Danke schoen.

You were great! What a great umbrella!

Strong!

Sturdy!

Shall we go?

Yeah.

Freeway! Come here, baby!

Did you miss your mommy?

Guess who else missed mommy?

Uh-huh.

Mmm...

Let me go over the guest-list again.

Room-service, housekeeping,

the doorman?

Not so hard-working and useful, I'm afraid.

Peter Donner.

Welcome, Mr. Hart.

Jonathan.

Peter took me to lunch.

-That was nice of you. -It was my pleasure.

And afterward he showed me some wonderful shops

and he saved my life

-then we came back here.

-He saved my life. -It was more like your packages, really.

Oh, he was grabbing at me too.

-Oh no, not Peter.

The mugger!

Mugger?

The one who wanted my packages.

I hit him in the nose.

Bobby stomped on his feet.

Sister Lillian whacked him with her umbrella

while Franz hit him over the head with his newspaper.

I...

kicked him in the shins.

You alright?

I'm fine...

thanks to Peter

and the good citizens of Munich.

Well, I'm very grateful.

Oh, not as grateful as I am to you and to Jennifer

for coming all this way to help the Bone-Marrow Program.

Well, when Jennifer heard that she was the perfect match for your recipient,

we started making our travel plans right away.

I understand that it's your anniversary.

We have much to celebrate because I'm getting married myself, Saturday.

To someone who looks exactly like me, according to Peter.

Congratulations.

They... They could be twins.

I was just trying to call her.

Would you like to meet Maximilian?

Maximilian?

The recipient of your bone-marrow.

His name is Max?

Yes.

Well, sure.

We'd love to meet someone called Max.

We've tried to make Max's life as normal as possible under the circumstances,

but he has a particular hobby, which is important to him.

Oh, let me see...

8-year-old boy...

football.

Chasing 8-year-old girls.

PETER: These rocket clubs are all over Germany

and the championship...

is being held in Stuttgart at the end of the month

and Max, he's planning to compete.

JONATHAN: So soon after the operation?

PETER: He's a very determined boy

and we've caught the disease at an early stage, so...

so we're hopeful.

JENNIFER: How long has Max been in a wheel

PETER: That's not Max, that's Phillip.

Phillip...

Yeah, he tried to parachute off the school roof.

That's Max, over there.

Come on, dog!

Maybe Freeway can introduce us.

Max!

Hi Peter, did you see my blast

Look! I think I found a copilot.

Well, he has had some flying lessons.

Oh, hi Simone!

This is Jennifer

and Jonathan Hart.

-Good.

Why are you calling Simone Jennifer?

Because she is Jennifer.

This is your bone-marrow donor.

Your name is really Jennifer?

My name is really Jennifer.

You're going to save my life, Jennifer. Did you know that?

Well, I'm certainly gonna try.

I'm gonna blast-off again. Can I take my copilot?

Sure.

Come on, doggie. Here, boy! Come on!

His name is Freeway!

Hey, Freeway! Come on, Freeway!

He's a very brave little boy.

Braver than you think.

He's an orphan.

I think we'd both like to spend a little more time with him.

Maybe we'll hang out here for a while.

I knew I'd find the right people.

Kleenex?

Bone

You think I enjoy watching money that belongs to me

tumbling into a bottomless pit?

It doesn't matter.

I am going home.

Not until you fulfill your bargain with me.

Have you forgotten you signed this paper?

That was before I met him.

Now I know him. He's a wonderful man.

I really care for him.

There's nothing more boring than listening to a tramp,

trying to develop a conscience.

I will go to the police!

Oh, you will?

And what do you tell them?

You have the record for fraud.

Your signature is on this paper

and the local magistrate is my weekly chess partner.

You have two alternatives.

One, you can accept my offer for money

or you can rot in a German prison.

What will happen to Peter

after the marriage?

What concern is it of yours?

One way or the other, he will be out of your life.

Oh...

Please don't be sad.

Five million dollars is a very effective vaccine against loneliness.

Well, what is it?

Nothing... Nothing.

Nothing.

I wonder what's keeping your twin.

Oh, Peter said she's always late.

Well, there's one difference.

I never had to wait for you.

Aw...

How sweet of you to remember it that way.

Except at the altar.

I thought you weren't going to bring that up again.

I just wanted everything to be perfect.

I'm so sorry... so sorry that I'm late.

Fritz!

-Our table, please. -Right away, Herr Donner.

Good evening, Fraulein Grohe.

And to you, sir.

Fraulein Grohe?

I really do have to meet this woman.

Unless things change drastically, Jennifer,

that may never happen.

Amazing.

And I found this in my coat-pocket when I went to pick her up at the hotel.

Unbelievable.

Oh, she's having second thoughts about the wedding.

I can read between the lines. She'll be back.

Do you know where she is?

No... No, and I'm running out of time.

Unless Simone and I show up for the prenuptial ball

tomorrow night,

it'll be a major embarrassment for my family.

There are people coming from all over Europe.

Maybe you could postpone it.

Rain delay.

Rain delay?

Yeah, like baseball games.

Baseball Ball?

Just a thought.

My cousin, Karl Von Ostenberg,

has arranged everything down to the last detail.

This would be a major scandal that he couldn't live down.

I can't embarrass Karl after all he's done for me.

-Uh-oh.

There's that look.

What look?

That transparent look that tells me exactly what you're thinking.

You couldn't possibly know what I was thinking.

She's thinking...

that you're such a nice man that maybe she could go to the ball with you

and pass herself off as Simone.

What a hair-brained, far-fetched idea.

Ridiculous, isn't it?

Totally bizarre.

Is that what you thought I was thinking?

That's exactly what I thought you were thinking.

We'd never be able to pull that off.

Would we?

Not a chance.

But that is what you were thinking.

Something like that.

Something like that?

All right, exactly like that.

It is completely insane, of course.

But...

What ever happened to the good old days when all anybody wanted to borrow was a

cup of sugar?

PETER: The Donners and the Grohes built a vast fortune together

but then their families became estranged enemies. You know, like the...

Hatfields and the McCoys?

You think the British royal family has problems.

Just wait.

My family makes the Windsors look like the Von Trapp Family Singers.

Grandfather desperately wanted to marry Ludmila Grohe,

but she ran off with her brother instead.

Her brother?

Yes, grandfather was furious

so he drove the Grohes out of business

and out of the country, but...

on his deathbed,

never having resolved the loss of his love,

he wanted to repent. So he put the money of both families

into a trust,

never to be released until the Grohes and the Donners married.

Your father didn't get the money?

My father was in an insane asylum.

You see, my mother had run off with the gardener,

who was actually working for the Grohes.

And when my mother found out that she

was set up,

she took some of the Grohes for a picnic in her car

and drove them off the bridge.

Well, I wouldn't worry about the money.

Geraldo or Sally Jessy would pay a fortune to have a guest like you.

Sally Jessy?

Television people.

So you don't control the trust?

No. My cousin, Karl Von Ostenberg, does.

He's been very generous to me

but I've been losing a lot of money with the clinic

and if this wedding doesn't happen,

he may decide that he has to shut it down.

How did you meet Simone?

It wouldn't have happened if it weren't for Karl.

He was wonderful.

He took out advertisements,

he sent out investigators to look for a living Grohe

and he found her!

For a while,

I wondered if I could

marry someone

that I didn't love for the sake of the clinic.

The answer was no.

But as luck would have it,

there was Simone.

That's lucky, isn't it, darling?

Yes.

And timely.

I'm sure she'll come to her senses 'cause we really do love each other, you know.

-Aw... -That's why Jennifer's kind offer...

Look, Peter...

let us sleep on it, would you?

Your hotel is just around the corner.

Goodnight.

And don't worry.

Don't worry.

Things will work out.

That's the most dysfunctional family I've ever heard of.

Isn't it?

It's a wonder Peter's so nice.

He is nice, isn't he?

That's why we should do this for him.

-No, that's why something doesn't add up.

-Well, Peter is a very bright, attractive guy. -Mmm-hmm.

-Soon to be a very rich, bright, attractive guy. -Mmm-hmm.

So why wouldn't Simone want to marry him?

I don't know.

-Could be dozens of reasons. -Well, that's my point.

We don't know Simone.

Who she is, what she wants, who her friends and enemies are.

You pretend to be her for just a few hours,

those friends and enemies become yours.

Mmm.

Now you're looking at me with that other look.

What other look?

That look that tells me you're going to be stubborn about this.

You...

Mmm...

I know that look too.

What look?

That look that tells me that somehow this Cinderella is not going to the ball

without her prince.

-You can bet your glass slippers on that. -Uh-huh.

And you know what, prince?

That's me.

I like that look.

Come here.

Mmm.

That should be Mr. Jonathan Hart,

American business man of considerable wealth and reputation.

It seems he wants to buy the Donner Brewery,

all cash.

Until Peter's inheritance is in your name, you can't sell it to him legally.

I want you to go and show him in.

Don't spare the charm. Lots of teeth.

Then I want you to go have a conversation with... what's her name?

-Simone. -Simone, yes.

Remember if Simone doesn't marry Peter, you can't marry me.

Macht schnell. Raus.

JONATHAN: * She's the sweetest, little rosebud

* that Texas ever knew

My, my...

Not too shabby.

Not too shabby at all.

Mr. Hart,

-I'm Elsa.

We're honored to have such a distinguished guest.

Welcome to our little home.

You didn't have to go to all of this trouble for me.

I'm sorry. This is for our party tonight.

If I were decorating for you,

I'd start with me.

Whoa.

Karl is expecting you.

Mr. Hart, please.

Thank you,

honey.

Mr. Hart!

Karl Von Ostenberg.

You can call me Jonathan, Karl.

Jonathan,

I'm puzzled.

I must admit I've done a bit of snooping into your affairs.

Is that a fact?

Beer

It doesn't seem to fit, even remotely, into your mix of companies.

Karl, do you know what the watch

Semiconductors.

I wasn't aware of that.

Do you know what the new watch-word is for the 21st century?

-Diversify.

Diversify?

-Diversify. -Diversi-fy.

And I intend to stay ahead of the game.

Well, in that case, let me invite you to examine the merchandise.

Don't mind if I do.

Prost.

Whatever.

If the brewery's as good as the brew,

then we do have something to talk about.

Good.

There is one small problem.

What's that?

I cannot sell the brewery for...

a few days. There are certain...

papers that need to be transferred.

It'll take perhaps...

a week.

Oh Karl, that'd put a twist in my shorts.

I don't plan on being in Munich that long.

Well,

plans can change.

How can I entice you to stay?

You can't.

But that...

Fraulein I met...

Oh, my cousin, Elsa.

Cousin?

Many times removed.

Sorry to hear about that...

You see...

My wife is not with me on this trip.

Oh, really?

Well in that case, why don't I put her

next you at my dinner tonight.

Karl...

Are you mixing business with pleasure?

I can only vouch for the business

but Elsa knows all about the pleasure and you can take my word for that.

We still have to get you a fake beauty mark and take a trip to the hair-dresser

but I've shown you most of Simone's favorite places,

just in case someone mentions them.

I can certainly see why this was one of them.

Or as Simone would say,

"I can see why this was one of them."

A little softer with...

-Yes.

I can see why this was one of them.

By George, I think you've got it.

Ah, it's so beautiful.

Yes, Simone thought so as well.

CROWD: Aw!

This is where and when

we first kissed.

Aw...

Peter, I'm not Simone.

Yes... Yes, of course.

Any woman would come back to a man who remembers their first kiss the way you do.

Come on.

I'll be late for that hair-dresser.

VOICE: Orderlies to station, please.

Jonathan, this is Dr. Detmeier.

She's heading up Max's operation.

-Nice to meet you.

This is Jonathan Hart and

that is Freeway.

I thought maybe Max's copilot might cheer him up.

I hope it's all right.

Well...

it's not strictly sanitary,

but...

Perhaps just this once.

This is the first stage of his final test and he told me he's scared.

He's never admitted that before.

Well, maybe a wagging tail is just what the doctor ordered.

Freeway!

Here's your copilot.

You ready for take

I don't wanna go with them.

Doctor, would they excuse us for a moment?

Of course.

Wait please.

What do you mean, you don't want to go with them?

I don't wanna go with them because I'm scared.

What do astronauts do when they see a cloud?

They fly right through them.

Right.

Why don't you think of this operation as a cloud?

And you're gonna fly right through it and come out on the other side?

Like an adventure?

Like an adventure

in the wild, blue yonder,

hmm?

Okay.

You ready for blast

Ready.

Ready for count-down.

Check.

Ten...

nine...

eight...

seven...

six...

five...

four...

This is as far as you can go, Mr. Hart.

Only astronauts from this point on, Freeway.

Happy landings, Captain Max.

You still have not changed your mind?

Simone, time is rapidly running out for you.

If you do not live up to your bargain and marry Peter,

I have no earthly use for you. Do you understand that?

Do you understand that?

Good.

Tonight when Peter enters the ball

without you,

at the moment of his greatest humiliation,

you will make your entrance.

You had a bad case of the nerves, you came to me

and I was able to affect a joyful

family reunion, ja?

Don't forget to cry.

Yeah, good.

And by the way...

if you do not think that money can make you happy,

well, you've never had enough to know.

Five million dollars.

What's there to think about?

PETER: She walks like Simone,

talks like Simone...

I can't wait to meet this woman.

The Count and Countess

Goess-Ensenberg.

Howdy.

How y'all doing?

MAN: Baron Wunderland

and lady Applegate.

Jonathan Hart.

Mr. Jonathan Hart.

Thank you, little fella.

Mr. Hart.

I believe we are seated next to each other at Karl's table.

Do you mind if I consider you my escort?

Well,

even a blind hog can find an acorn now and then.

I beg your pardon?

I'd be proud.

Jonathan,

I see you found my lovely cousin, Elsa.

We sort of found each other.

And where I come from, we like to play "finders, keepers."

Mr. Peter Donner.

Ms. Simone Grohe.

CROWD: Ah!

What's the matter, Karl?

Something go down the wrong way?

Let me go!

No!

Ahh!

They sure do make a lovely couple.

Ahhh!

Who is that woman?

Right now, she seems to be you.

Ahhh!

Witch!

My beauty-mark is itching.

-I think it's moving. -You're doing beautifully.

Here we go.

Karl and Elsa are at the end of the line.

I've already told you everything about them.

The first man you're going to meet is my cousin, Helmut.

He's going to pinch you on the bottom, give you a bear-hug

and you always kiss him on the nose.

I do?

One in every family.

-Simone!

Who is this fool?

The resemblance is phenomenal.

Whoever she is,

Aunt Edna will notice the difference.

Next is Aunt Edna.

She's your best friend in the family,

the only one who approves of the clinic.

Kiss both cheeks.

Aunt Edna!

You look wonderful!

Your hair!

My hair?

You've done something different.

Oh...

I like it, Simone!

You do?

Well, we must have tea next week. I'll tell you all my secrets.

Peter, darling,

I hear you found a donor

who's a match to that young boy.

A perfect match, in fact.

Everything's going to be just fine.

-Bye bye...

Simone.

You look lovely.

Thank you, Karl.

Elsa!

You look wonderful.

You've been working out again.

It does wonders for your figure.

Thank you,

Simone.

You look like you've been working out too.

I don't believe I've had the pleasure, Monsieur ...

Hart.

Jonathan Hart.

Well...

And what brings you to Munich, Monsieur Hart?

A little business, a little pleasure.

Ah...

Well perhaps we'll be seeing more of you.

Monsieur ...

Hart, honey.

And you can count on it, Ms. Grohe.

That Simone woman is as pretty as a June bug.

Truly. Yeah, yeah.

She is very remarkable.

Bring Simone down.

Expose this woman as a fraud.

Not until I know why she is here.

Who is she?

What is Peter up to?

Is he on to us?

I haven't waltzed since I've been in short-pants.

Care to take a twirl?

Yes, delighted.

Auntie Edna!

That Simone woman said

you like to work out.

I'm a sucker for physical fitness.

I fence mostly.

How well do you swing a sword, Jonathan?

Well, where I come from, Elsa,

that could mean several things.

We'll have to try another picnic soon.

Yes! It was wonderful.

Wasn't it?

Watching all the delicious food get soaked?

I thought it would never stop raining.

Raining?

I fell in the river.

And almost drowned.

-Yes.

I'm an excellent swimmer.

What's wrong with you, Simone?

Well really, Erwin, have you completely

lost your sense of humor?

With your permission, Peter...

What about once around with the bride?

Of course.

-My pleasure.

Oh, I'm so glad you came along.

I was about to blow it.

You're doing fine.

-You're the belle of the ball. -Ah!

Elsa seemed very attentive.

Like a predator in a water-hole.

Don't turn your back on her.

The night is young, Carita.

And as Valentino said,

"There's nothing like tile for the tango."

Wait.

You've got my beauty mark.

What are we gonna do?

I've got an idea.

Is it there?

-Yeah.

You got it back but it's a couple inches too high.

-Uh-oh. -Better try the power room.

That man.

He's the one who mugged me and tried to take my packages.

What's he doing here and why is he talking to Elsa?

Well, he's got some nerve.

She's my date.

May I help you?

I was looking for the men's room.

It's back there.

Take a right

and a left.

Oh, my...

A right

and then a left.

Excellent directions.

Do the antique vases in this castle belong to you?

No.

Good.

Who was that man?

Someone who works for Karl.

He's got Simone locked up like the prisoner of Zenda.

She's all right but she's understandably upset.

You... You must be mistaken. Not Karl.

It's his castle and his merry men.

Well I've got to settle this matter with Karl immediately.

If you confront Karl, then everyone will know that Jennifer is not Simone.

I can't just leave her alone in there.

And I'm not gonna put my wife in danger.

But if Karl knows I'm not Simone,

why hasn't he said anything?

They didn't expect you to be here.

Whatever they had planned,

you are now in the way.

I hate being in the way.

What do we do now?

Well, they haven't exposed their hand, so

we won't expose ours.

I trust you've found your evening enjoyable.

I can't begin to tell you what I found tonight, Karl.

My, my...

I'm afraid I'm exhausted from all this dancing.

Peter, would you take me home?

I think I'll push myself off too.

No offense folks, but the champagne and the jet-lag

has turned my brain to mush.

Be careful of the night air, Simone.

You might catch your death...

of cold.

Oh, Karl...

You are always thinking about someone else.

Are you going to just let her walk out of here?

Find out who she is.

Two Simones,

an embarrassment of riches.

Now our only problem is to decide...

which one

to kill.

-No one.

I'll try calling that detective agency again.

Maybe they're open by now.

Where could he have gone?

I don't know, but if you want to pick up a few colorful phrases in German,

try yelling "Freeway" in the streets of Munich at five in the morning,

Hmm?

You might take that beauty mark off now.

I'm afraid I've grown attached to it.

Well, that's nice, darling but,

I prefer you the way you were.

Still not in.

Actually, I can't.

You can't what?

Take it off.

You see...

I was so desperate to keep it in place last night that I...

found some crazy-glue in a desk and I'm afraid

I welded it on.

Simone lives.

Look, we all bit off

a little more than we could chew last night.

Peter's a nice man,

but we didn't come all the way to Munich

to get involved in an episode of Family Feud .

We came here to save the life of a young boy.

But we can't just walk out on Peter.

And I'm partially responsible for the fix he's in.

It was my idea to go to the ball.

You wanted to help.

You always do.

That's why I married you instead of Simone Grohe.

Right now, we have two priorities.

One to save young Max,

and the other to find Freeway.

I'll change.

Oh...

Poor Freeway, our little baby,

all alone in a strange city.

His little heart must be breaking.

MAN: Max! Time to go!

-Max! -I'm coming!

JENNIFER: Freeway!

Freeway!

Freeway, baby! Come here!

Freeway!

No.

Don't worry. We'll find him.

JENNIFER: Freeway!

Freeway!

Jonathan! Jennifer!

I got your message at the hotel.

I contacted a friend who runs a dog-walking club.

She's going to get all of her members out looking for Freeway.

Oh, Peter, that's so kind of you.

Well, between the police,

the private eyes, the dog-walkers and us

it's just a matter of time.

Speaking of the police,

what have you decided to do about Simone?

I didn't sleep one hour last night.

I almost called the police and then I thought

that the local tabloids would turn this into a circus.

Why on Earth

would Karl kidnap her?

What could he possibly gain by it?

Well, he could stop the wedding.

That would prevent you from coming into a lot of money.

Yes, but it wouldn't become his money.

He merely administrates the trust.

Don't take this the wrong way, Peter.

Maybe she wasn't kidnapped.

Maybe they're both in on it somehow.

If that were true,

why would he lock her up?

We have to find some way of getting her out of there.

Maybe we could sneak in through one of the secret passageways!

-Sure.

What secret passageways?

Well, don't be silly. All those old castles have secret passageways.

...In the movies.

Well, Jennifer is due at the hospital for some tests.

I'm afraid you'll be sedated for a couple of hours.

We'll meet you there

and when Jennifer's recovered, we'll all go out and visit cousin Karl,

come clean, lay our cards on the table and demand an explanation.

What if he denies everything?

Simple...

Peter and I will keep him busy while you check the secret passageway.

Auf wiedersehen.

Auf wiedersehen.

Freeway!

They all stick together, darling. He won't tell you a thing.

Let's try over there.

We'll find him, darling. I promise

but right now we've gotta get you to Peter's clinic.

Oh, just for a minute.

All right. Only just for a minute.

He called her darling.

They're going to Peter's clinic.

You've heard something from that pair of dummkopfs ?

I ordered a computer search on Jonathan Hart.

And?

While we were busy congratulating ourselves,

Mr. and Mrs. Hart were making utter fools of us.

It seems Mrs. Hart is undergoing tests at Peter's clinic

for the next few hours.

Let's get rid of Simone.

Call the whole thing off.

She'll never keep her bargain anyway.

You're right.

She's even more untrustworthy than I am.

But thanks to the Hart's amateur theatrics,

I now have a choice.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Let go of me!

-Pig! -Now, now, Simone.

We're only trying to help.

You bitch!

No!

-No! -Just relax.

Your long nightmare is over

and Jennifer Hart's has just begun.

You! No dogs allowed!

You! Dog! Come back here!

VOICE: Dr. Gertingen 2965.

How you doing Max?

Okay, I guess.

Just trying to fly through the cloud.

It's a pretty big one, isn't it?

Pretty big.

Max, I need you to help me

because I've never been through an operation like this either

and I want to be just as brave as you were yesterday.

I'll help you, Jennifer.

You will?

Thank you.

You know, we had a very close friend

named Max.

-Mmm-hmm.

I met him when I was in an orphanage

just like you.

-Mm-hm.

JENNIFER: Really.

And you remind us a lot of him.

-Mmm-hmm.

Why?

Because...

he saved my life

but in a very different way.

And he was...

the bravest and the sweetest man in the world.

PETER: Hello?

Dr. Detmeier, I don't believe you've met Jennifer Hart.

Hello.

-God, that's incredible! -Yes, we know.

Really amazing.

Even the alignment of the front mandible.

First thing I noticed too.

We'll be taking a core marrow sample from Jennifer, as well as from Maximilian.

We'll run them simultaneously for one final test of compatibility.

VOICE: Herr Schuler to physical therapy.

Freeway!

Put that on her.

Go find something to cover her face.

They boy's got to be taken to the OR right away.

Freeway! Quick, hide!

Ready, Max?

Ready.

Okay, let's go then.

Hi.

I'll be right here when you wake up.

Oh, you look more worried than I am.

I'm fine.

I've never been more proud of you

or more in love with you than I am right now.

Wow.

I should have done this a long time ago.

Psst.

Psst!

Excuse me, sir.

Have you seen a little dog running around?

What kind of a dog?

Many kinds,

about this size.

Where'd you see him last?

That little trespasser was getting on one of the elevators.

Where are you, little dog? Come on.

VOICE: Frau Mueller to cardiology.

Freeway?

JONATHAN: Hey!

Hey!

I'd know that cold, wet nose anywhere.

Save the explanations for later.

Now, Jennifer.

I see it all went well.

A perfect match.

JONATHAN: Is someone coming with a key?

Will you open the door?

Excuse me.

Come on!

Jonathan! What are you doing... What is he doing in here?

I'm not exactly sure and he's not talking. How's Jennifer?

-It went beautifully.She's in recovery. -Let's go.

You understand that Jennifer will be quite druggy for a while.

Freeway.

Freeway, will you come on? We're going to see Jennifer.

Freeway, come on.

It all went very smoothly.

She just needs to sleep it off.

Darling.

-I'm here.

Would it be possible to take her back to the hotel?

I'm sure she'd feel more comfortable waking up there.

Well, it's a bit irregular

but I don't see why not.

She's in perfect health.

Freeway doesn't seem to think much of that idea.

I don't know what's gotten into him all of the sudden.

Freeway, will you pipe down?

Don't try to talk, darling.

Everything's going to be all right.

-We're going home now. -Oh...

Come on.

Freeway, come on.

Uh-oh, Toto.

We're not in Kansas anymore.

JONATHAN: Just take it easy, darling.

The coffee's on the way up.

Let me explain.

It all started when you called Mike Tyson a sissy.

Will you quit that, Freeway?

-Let me give you a hint.

Oh, my God.

Houston, we have a problem.

Stay, Freeway.

Honeymoon jitters.

Ah!

Looking for a woman in pajamas?

-Yeah.

That way.

Ahhh!

Where the hell is my wife?

Don't be afraid to look over the side.

You're missing the view.

When my husband hears about this...

Your husband?

I'm off to see him as soon as we land.

I intend to ask him for his cooperation

and I'm going to need yours too.

Go to hell.

Do you know what a body looks like after it drops a thousand feet?

Huh? I can drop you in the water,

make you disappear forever, ja?

As far as going to hell, of this there is no doubt.

But...

only after I get

what I want.

Concierge please.

This is Jonathan Hart. I'll need a car right away.

-It's open.

Thank you.

Jonathan, this is too fantastic.

Do you remember when Jennifer was joking

about a secret passageway to the castle?

Well, there is one!

I found these old architectural drawings in the family archives...

-There it is. -Look, don't bother.

We're going back to the castle all right, but we're going through the front door.

Jennifer.

I see you're feeling better.

That's not Jennifer.

Hello, Peter.

Simone!

Are you all right? What happened?

Where's Jennifer?

Karl has her.

What?

Somehow they switched them both at the clinic.

What... What is going on here?

Tell him, Simone.

It's time you told him everything.

I love you, Peter.

That is why what I'm going to say is so much more difficult.

When...

Karl found me in Provence,

I was in trouble.

I was broke.

I was once in prison for fraud.

Karl offered me an arrangement.

An... an arrangement?

I was supposed to come here,

make you fall in love with me and marry you.

But I had to sign a contract

that if anything happened to you,

all my inheritance would go to Karl.

Your inheritance?

He was going to pay me five million dollars.

I don't understand.

If you inherit money from me...

you'd be dead.

Probably killed in some accident that Karl arranged.

I'm sure he'd volunteer to deliver the eulogy at your funeral.

Oh, my God, Simone.

Peter...

I didn't realize what Karl was going to do.

Or maybe I didn't want to realize it.

And I didn't know you. I didn't care for you.

But... then I met you

and I fell in love with you, Peter. I really did.

I told Karl I couldn't go through with it.

Do you love me now?

Oh, Peter...

I'll only cause you trouble.

That's not what I asked!

Yes.

I'll be right down.

That's Karl. He's in the bar.

I believe my friend is a connoisseur of...

beer?

Nothing, thank you.

Before you say a word,

if you've done anything to harm my wife,

you know I'll kill you.

Jonathan...

Such needless animosity.

We each have problems. I thought we could work

together to solve them.

Spit it out, Karl.

All right.

When I first went to France

to find this Simone Grohe,

I discovered she was a hustler,

specializing in defrauding wealthy men.

First I...

I didn't even want to

tell Peter she existed.

I have a deep affection for my cousin.

I didn't want to see him hurt.

There's a violinist playing outside.

Perhaps I could arrange for him to stand behind you.

The deal I struck

with Simone was for Peter's own protection.

She's a common criminal. I couldn't let her get her hands on all that money.

The temptation for her to do something harmful to Peter would be too powerful.

Ja?

Let me get this straight.

She's the potential killer?

I constructed what I thought was a fool-proof agreement.

If the marriage was happy,

well, all well and good.

But if something happened to Peter,

his money

would never be her money.

No, it would be yours.

That is convenient, isn't it?

I have looked after this inheritance for decades.

I have guarded Peter's interest.

I have catered to his whims. Do you think I'm going to let some...

two-bit fortune-hunter destroy all this

I don't believe a word you've said, Karl.

And I don't give a damn what the hell happens to you.

I want my wife back.

Now.

I do not know where she is.

Then you're a dead man.

Somehow I have the high confidence...

that you will find her safe and unharmed...

As soon as the wedding of Peter

and Simone

is consummated.

Ja?

Peter is in love. You don't have to convince him.

And as far as Simone in concerned...

I think someone as successful as you are

can be quite persuasive when properly

motivated.

So...

I have saved a seat of honor for you at the wedding.

Please

do not disappoint me.

Or Jennifer.

Auf Wiedersehen.

PETER: I know this is the right place. It's the east side of the castle.

I mean, it's got to be here somewhere.

There it is.

The Donner family must have put on a few pounds over the years.

I can't get through there. Neither can you.

I can.

Darling, you can't go back in there.

Besides, according to the plans, there are several exits inside the castle.

If you choose the wrong one...

I know where they kept me.

I will try there first.

I hope there are no spiders.

I hate spiders.

Lucky for us, there's no spiders in Germany.

What are you talking about?

Of course there are spiders in Germany.

Just checking.

Wow!

It's...

amazing!

Fantastic!

Can you open that again?

I think so.

The control is behind the Shakespeare.

Shakespeare.

Shakespeare.

There is no Shakespeare!

What?

MAN: They...

multiplied...

like rabbits!

It's no use, Simone.

Just get into that wedding dress and no one will get hurt.

Which one of us are you talking to?

Yes...

Which one of us are you talking to?

Very clever.

But you've forgotten one important detail, Mrs. Hart.

On your photograph, there was no beauty mark.

Ow!

Sorry, Simone.

Nice try,

Mrs. Hart.

Now get into that dress.

Mrs. Hart's life depends on it.

I'll be back.

No one ever knew that wasn't real?

No one ever asked.

Aunt Edna, how beautiful, sehr schoen ... Heinrich!

Why you don't take Aunt Edna for a glass of champagne?

Beautiful hat. Hurry, take her quick.

I have a little news for you.

Simone looks stunning in her wedding dress

and by the way, Mrs. Hart thinks so too.

And another for me!

How prompt you are, Mr. Hart.

I wouldn't miss it for the world if it means

getting Jennifer back.

You remember the other day you advised me to diversify?

Quite prophetic, Mr. Hart.

I am now holding both women.

Don't worry, Mr. Hart.

I have found the real Simone.

And if things continue to go smoothly,

without interference,

you will find the real Jennifer.

Nice day for a wedding.

Well, we tried.

If you wouldn't mind, Jonathan...

now more than ever, I need a best man.

Pretty as a picture.

You're about to become a very wealthy woman...

for a while.

Take her downstairs.

I have some business to conduct

with Mrs. Hart.

Dearly beloved.

We are gathered here...

to join these two people

in holy, wedded matrimony.

I'm truly sorry about all this,

Mrs. Hart.

If only you hadn't tried to interfere.

Elsa...

you are making a terrible mistake.

Karl will be furious!

Will you stop that fake accent?

You final words...

should be in your own voice.

Elsa!

When we first met, you...

you were wearing a scarf that was given to you

by your grandmother.

We went to lunch at the Extra Black.

You were very sick.

Listen to me, Elsa!

Right now, downstairs, Peter is marrying Jennifer Hart.

ELSA: Help me!

Help me!

No! Leave me!

Find her! Kill her!

If there is anyone here...

who has just cause as to why these two people

should not be bound together

in holy matrimony

let them speak now

or forever hold their peace.

Well, I object.

I cannot marry this man

because I'm already married

to this man.

Peter!

Peter!

Help! Help!

I'll never forget you.

I'll be right back.

Me too.

Mr. Hart!

Prepare to defend yourself!

Damn it! Dummkopf .

Aunt Edna!

You?

Uh-huh.

Atta way, Rocky.

Hmm...

Now let me see, the face is familiar.

Let me figure this out.

Scaramouch?

Zorro?

Speaking of familiar faces,

how are we gonna get rid of that beauty mark?

Just show me to a hot tub and some clean sheets and you can figure it out.

Hmm...

PRIEST: If there's anyone here...

who has just cause as to why these people

should not be bound

in holy matrimony,

let them speak now

or forever

hold their peace.

Why is everyone looking at me?

I now pronounce you...

husbands and wives.

Yes!

MAX: Jennifer?

Yes, Max?

I told you you were gonna save my life.

Yes, we're going to take very good care of that life.

Mrs. Strauss...

Another Freeway!

We thought you needed a permanent copilot.

Oh, wow!

Well, Peter, it's been an experience.

Simone...

I feel as if I'm saying goodbye to myself.

If it had to be someone, Jennifer, I'm glad it was you.

Thank you.

Amazing.

That must be the car to take us to the airport.

Mr. and Mrs. Hart...

You're in plenty of time to get to the airport before your plane leaves.

Was ist los?

Los?

Nothing.

You know...

It's such a nice day.

Why don't we just walk to the airport?

What a good idea, darling.

I'm right behind you,

all the way.