Original subtitles

Welcome to Paradise, Come on in.

My car has broken down, I want to make a phone call.

Would you like to have a drink?

Let me suggest something exotic.

A Corpse Revival.

No, thanks I think I'd better have a coke.

Coke? Sure.

Here is your coke, sir. Thank you.

First time here?

Yes.

Where do you come from?

Hong Kong.

Welcome.

Excuse me.

Hey, good looking.

Come on, let's have some fun.

Would you hold this for me, please?

I get it, don't be afraid.

Where are you going? Come on.

Excuse me.

Miss, don't be afraid I'll help you.

You so of a bitch!

You god damn shit!

You come back!

I'll teach you a lesson.

Miss, did he rob you or offend you?

Do you want me to call the police?

No, thanks.

Are you hurt?

Miss, miss.

Take this chance to escape now.

I'm a doctor from Hong Kong... I'm fine.

I'll call the police. This is not the place for you. Go!

They always mistreat the Chinese.

I'm all right Please leave.

There is nothing to be afraid of.

You'd better go.

You should call the police.

I can help you.

There are laws to protect us.

Don't be so timid.

Another coke, sir?

Thank you.

What's wrong?

I don't feel good.

I can make you feel better.

Let's go.

This way, be careful.

Is this your first time?

I must be very lucky.

You should give me a red packet.

I don't have a red packet.

Can I give you something else instead?

Is it to remember my first time?

The first time was short but wonderful.

Would you like to try a longer one?

Why do you always bring me the lousy stuff? Get out of here!

I'm sorry, master.

What's wrong with him? Yelled at me again!

You Joycelyn, you turn, come on!

Why do you always have to bring me the blood of drunks?

Oh, sorry, master! Out!

What's his problem?

I don't know what's going on? What am I supposed to do?

Don't worry about it!

You just shut up and sit down!

I don't like this kind of treatment.

Alice, you're next. Hurry up.

Go on, hurry!

Where is that man? Bring him to me at once.

He's gone What?

You let him go!

Do you know how long since I have tasted such delicious blood and you let him go?

I...

I don't care what you do! Bring him back to me!

I don't think he is that good.

How about I find another one for you?

Don't you understand? His blood is like your Chinese ginseng.

He drives my crazy He makes me high.

You bring that ginseng back to me.

Yes, master.

Dr Chiang. Excuse me.

Keep it for me, I'm late.

Sorry.

Do you always have to be late?

Mr. Ta is making a fuss in there.

The flight was delayed and the traffic was terrible.

I am already thankful to be back.

Don't give me excuses.

What?

I did 'it'.

Did what?

I did 'it' in England. Now I am a real man.

Really?

How much did you pay the prostitute?

Not a prostitute, a beautiful Chinese girl.

Really?

What? Are you jealous?

I believe she was a virgin.

Stoop dreaming.

Yeah.

How many times did you do her?

Seven times

Bull-shit

It is true. I'll tell you what happened

Tell me than

Ok

I was in the toilet of a pub one night

Suddenly someone cried for help

What happened?

I also wanted to find out

I walked over to see what happened

Guess what...

Mr. Ta requests local anaesthesia

I've injected 50cc YSD Any problem?

Watch him carefully

Yes

I've done two blood tests with him

He is all right

Good

Where is nurse May Chen?

May, things are ready. We can go in

Let's talk while we work

I almost got in trouble

Nonsense

Relax and lie down

Sure, you are not cutting yours

Please lie down

You are sweating Hiding something?

It's just the heat

Did you have fun with the girls in England?

I did not go there for fun

Don't let me catch you do anything wrong

I really didn't touch any English girls

What about non-English girls?

Please don't move, Mr. Ta

It's hard to do when your thing is so small

You make fun of me? I warn you

Calm down

I said this place was small, not your thing

Please lie down Don't get upset

Serve you right

Boss, when you are here Poodle Head attacked us

What? It's true

Damn!

Let's go and chop him

Mr. Ta, you must rest after the operation

What?

Mr. Ta, if your men need medical treatment

We can give you a 20% discount

That is enough

I can do it on my own

Be careful, boss

Leave me alone

Bastard! Take advantage of me!

Let's finish him

Where are you going?

To kill people

You can't go Lie down

Many people are waiting for me

Do it some other time

Right, do it some other time

When?

Don't ask me, ask her

They think they call the shots

Who are they to give me orders?

Take it easy, man

It'll be fine

ABC, stand still

What?

Assistant director is looking for you

Let's change our clothes first

Talk to you later

I'll get him when I'm out of here Cool down, boss

Take a rest

I saw Miss Ho making up the roster

The buck-tooth lady was sent away

To serve the old folks

You are bad

She shouldn't mess around with me

Come to my house after work

No, your man has just got back

Spend some time with him

I have to go to class tonight

What class?

We have a guest speaker tonight

He'll teach us how to talk to spirits

Is this what they do?

Not this way, this way

You are the worst group here

Never meet the quota for operations

You only do minor operations

On fore-skin or piles

Why don't you do some big operations?

The therapy room has long been empty

Send some patients in there

Otherwise, how can we get money?

Don't say the company is mean

Remember when you first graduated

Who hired you?

How you have fame and experience

And you are cocky

Remember you are bound by contract

Do more operations

No doctors wear a pony-tail like you

You are getting fat

All you do it eat

Watch your image

Do you think you look good yourself?

But I'm only an administrator

The patients look at you, not me

Always argue, get out!

Sure

Chiang Ta-tsung

What?

Your week in England is no-pay leave

But the company sent me there

So what? Get out!

If I knew kung-fu, I would...

What?

Three people work better than one

Bye

Good night

What do we eat today?

Your favorite dish, of course

Where is your talisman?

I left it at the hotel

It's all right. It's been used anyway

Ginseng soup again?

You should be thankful for it

Tell your dad not to steal ginseng again

I don't want to be put in jail

He didn't steal anything

Your favourite garlic shrimps

Eat more

What about you?

I'll do your laundry

It smells strange

Eat it anyway

See what's in your laundry

Hurry up

I smell perfume

Lipstick smear

Let me see what else is there

Blood!

Why is there lipstick on your clothes?

Also blood on your pants?

Because of the trafficjam

What has blood to do with it?

I was talking about the lipstick

I was on a crowded bus to the meeting

A woman bumped into me

That's how I got the lipstick

I was so embarrassed during the meeting

What about the blood?

How do I know?

I've been to so many places

With or without pants on?

Do you want to fight again?

Tell me, did you do 'it'?

You know you won't give 'it' to me

But you are always so suspicious

Don't make a big deal out of it

What do you mean?

We'll do 'it' when the time comes

What are you thinking?

Nothing. I just want you to believe me

That is so...

What? Tell me

Nothing

Nothing really?

Nothing

I'll walk you there

Don't It isn't that far

You'll be safer with me

All right

Nothing happened. You can go now

Goodbye

Lipstick?

And perfume?

Yes, and also blood

Who was that woman?

He denied everything

The talisman was there to control him

Otherwise, he may be with the woman now

He lost the talisman

Not good

Should I give you a bigger one?

He wouldn't do that to me

Hard to say. You won't do 'it' with him

This is a matter of principle

I'll do 'it' only after our wedding

Only you can withhold for so long

Lose 'it' and a girl'll be nothing

You'll be all right Let's sleep

Good night

Alice, moving, our master awaits!

Come on, move, hurry!

Master

Are you trying to betray me?

No

I want the blood of that ginseng

If you don't bring him back, you'll know what real pain is!

Are you listening to me?

Yes, master

It hurts my eyes

Soap

May, buy me a pair of sun-glasses

You never wear sun-glasses before

The sun has been hurting my eyes

All right. Choose a pair

Miss, which pair is the cheapest?

This pair

Thanks

Not bad

Come, try it on

Good, we'll buy this one

Buy a shirt for my father

Miss, can I try it on?

Yes

Dr Chiang, assistant director wants you bad

He is waiting at the car-park

Hold it

I got it

You are back finally

Look at you

Do you know what time it is?

Many clients left because you weren't here

That it a loss to the company

They didn't make appointments

They don't know when they'll be sick

Mr. Ta is also waiting for you

Well, I'm back. Right?

You are still below quota this month

If this situation goes on

You'll have go sign another contract

I'll be busy organising a fund-raising campaign

You'd better behave yourself

I know what to do

Do something

You look half man half ghost

Don't ever dress like this to work

Vampire

It I knew kung-fu, you'd be dead

Look, he fell

Who pushed me?

What's wrong?

Headache

When did it start?

Last night

What did you do?

I did Karaoke

Only singing?

I drank a lot

What's wrong?

We have to remove your appendix

What? Are you joking?

You circumcised me because of my cold

Now my appendix because of my headache

You want it done or not?

What are you doing?

Give me a new mask

Fork

No, I mean scalpel

Won again? Of course

Again

Don't make bets with me

Or you'll lose money

I haven't performed yet

What's the matter? You act strange

What? I feel great

Yes, only at night

You go to work only after sunset

I'm still suffering from jet-lag

Nonsense, it's been a month

He doesn't look human

He drinks like a vampire

Did a vampire bite you?

Such things do happen in Europe Right

Don't move

Nothing...

What?

Toothmarks

What are you doing?

Toothmarks? Let me give you a bite

Don't Toothmarks?

Toothmarks?

Toothmarks?

Do you want to kill him?

Let me go

Toothmarks?

Toothmarks?

What's the matter?

Dr Chin and Dr Chang, Assistant Director wants to see you

We'll play later See you later

A crazy bunch!

Why was there blood on the pants?

Why?

I hope not

I hope not too

Are you sure they are teeth-holes?

Don't try to scare me

Take off his pants to see

Come, quick

Take it off

You are so slow

Where?

What?

Can you two stop it?

Oh, it's awful!

A real vampire

Am I really a vampire?

Don't come over We aren't that close

Although you were nice to me in school

You forced me to study medicine

You ruined my dream of becoming a lawyer

Now don't make me a vampire

I wouldn't hurt you. I just thought

I don't want to hear it

Go away!

Am I really a vampire?

I messed around only once

And I met a vampire?

What is a vampire like?

Dr Chiang, go to the reception

How does a vampire walk?

Like this?

Dr Chen, watch the slippery floor

Thanks

Watch your feet

Jerk!

Jerk?

Lion Rock Tunnel wasjammed this morning

The usual excuse!

Do you know what I just saw?

What?

Your Dr Chiang and two men in a room

Dr Chiang's pants were off

Then they did this

Sickening!

Are you serious?

Yes, they did this too

May

May

Do you want to see me?

A woman wants to see you

Open up! Open up!

What shall I do?

Please listen to me

You come back first

Don't be silly

Calm down, listen to me

Why did you harm me?

Why did you seduce me?

Why did you bite me?

I was forced to do that Let me explain

I am listening

When you are done, it's my turn

I came to Hong Kong to save you

I am a slave of the Count

But I'm determined to shake him off

What are you talking about?

I am telling you the truth

May, come here

Quick!

What?

Come!

Look!

I see nothing

Look!

How can you say that?

Don't fool me anymore

What?

I saw a woman just now

A woman? Really?

Yes, come

Why should I believe you?

Listen to me, I want to save you

Have you taken in human blood?

If not, then you can be saved

No?

May

Let me explain

Why are you here and dressed like this?

Did you have a good look?

Of course, let's search the room

What are you looking for?

I told you not to come

Well, we can always leave

I'll walk you out

Bye, good night

There are two ways to save you

One, destroy the Count, but it's impossible

Second, find a corpse whose blood is still warm

You swap with him

I don't understand

I'm embarrassed. I go to bed

I really saw a woman there

Tsung really acted funny

Of course

What should I do?

Do you really like him?

Yes, ever since I was in Form 2

Then I'll do something

My teacher has a special prescription

It can make him enchanted with you

Really?

Let's go

I can't What's the matter? U-turn What is it?

I am scared I am too

Put on the shield

Who is it?

Should I hide myself?

No need

Don't act like this. Come in

I won't bite you

Now you have guts to hide a woman here

Right

It's she who bit me

How are you?

How do you do?

Why are you here at this hour?

We behaved badly this morning

We've come to apologize

Brother Tsung, please forgive us

Even ghosts are lenient at times

Shut up!

He's babbling nonsense

We've bought a present for you

Please accept it

What is it?

See if you like it

Excellent, Chinese costume

I like it very much

Can I try it on now?

I told you he'd love it

Sure, suit yourself

My name is Alice

He is KK. Chang

Hold it

This is out of fashion

Listen, I always sleep around

My blood may be infected with AIDS

He's different He's an anaesthetist

His blood can make you high

He has more blood because he is fat

Listen, being fat doesn't mean healthy

I am diabetic

My blood is no good

Only you two are my real friends

Are you willing to help Tsung?

Sure, we are brothers

Yes

Dead

Quick!

What's the matter?

'High Noon' is showing on TV

'High Noon'?

A movie before your time

Yes This is really a high noon

What's the matter?

Get him and drain his blood

Hurry up!

How do you feel?

Terrible!

Where are you going?

That cat is on heat again

She is with the male cat

Help!

Help!

Over there

Help!

Why is he like that?

I don't know

How do you feel, Alice?

I want blood

Alice, do you want blood?

If you do, suck my blood

Would you really let me?

I don't care. This isn't the first time

Come, suck it

Suck my blood

If you don't, then let it drain away

Hold out your hand

Hold out your hand

Teacher

What are you doing?

Put in your blood and he'll love you

Don't put so much

Enough, too much will cause diarrhoea

This is the talisman

Enough

Come

This won't kill him

My goodness! It's May

Don't come out

No matter what, don't come out

Don't come out

I'll give you a hand

What happened to your hand?

I hurt myself

You are so careless

What is today's soup?

Not ginseng soup anymore

Today's chicken soup

Smells good!

No complaint this time?

I'll help you tidy things up

Not too dirty

Orderliness makes you feel better

The table here may trip people

Never put a vase on the TV

It may fall off easily

Oh, I forgot

Tsung

Why is your room so messy?

Your wardrobe is on the floor

What is that noise?

Mouse

Oh, no!

Don't be afraid

I fear mice most

I'll carry you out

Finish your soup

Delicious

Don't forget to eat the chicken I'd better go

Why so early?

I have to do facial for Joy

I'll walk you out

Goodbye

Is she gone?

I

What's the matter?

Tsung

Tsung

Tsung

You must have drunk human blood

No, I did not

Have I turned into a real vampire?

Do something, you two

I will have to live on blood

I don't have too much blood

I have anaemia

Suck the assistant director's blood

But I don't want to suck blood

We'll think of something for you Hurry up, think hard!

It's tough

Dr Chiang, Mrs Hsieh is here

Dr Chiang

Mrs Hsieh

What's the problem?

I feel hot and dizzy

I have heart-burn too

Did I eat too much?

Let me check your pulse

I hate all those social parties

Are there any other symptoms?

What's wrong?

I also feel drowsy and weak

It doesn't' look good

It must be it

What is the matter, doctor?

You contracted English flu

Did I?

English flu?

Right

We'll have to do a blood test

Is it necessary?

Definitely

Go. It'll be all right Dr Chiang

Go over

Dr Chiang Go over

What are you doing?

Trying to help you, kid

The needle is so big!

Not big at all

Go home and take some pig's blood

It hurts bad, Dr Chiang

You'll be fine. Get your medicine

Bye

This should last you for two nights

Dr Chiang, Mr. Ta is wounded

Leave me alone Are you all right, boss?

Don't strain yourself, boss

Be careful Kill them all

Take it easy, boss

So much blood, what a waste!

Are you all right, boss?

What a waste!

Hack them!

Hack them!

Don't move, boss What a waste!

What a waste!

Hang in there, boss

Do something to stop the blood

What a waste!

You are hurt badly

It seems that

We have to do a blood test

What! You going to draw my blood?

Forget it

That chopper might have been rusty

Your wound may be infected by viruses

The doctor is right

Hold him down

You people are animals!

Don't worry, you'll recover

Don't give him so much blood

Too much blood is bad for him

Take a rest. Goodbye

Adjust it to 15

Adjust it to 15

Operation done

Must be careful with this laser machine

Otherwise it'll put a hole in the body

May, can you help push him out?

I have to tidy things up

Do it later We're very tired

Oh, no! I left the report inside

I'll get it for you Thanks

Yes

Why?

This much. Good!

It is difficult to find this much

Come, try some

A big harvest

Should last you two weeks

Thanks for your help

You're welcome

We did it

Let's eat together

No, thanks

Our tastes are different

We'll find something to eat ourselves

Drink it while it's still warm

Goodbye

Goodbye

Tonight's type AB. Suits you?

They stole blood to drink

Stop hitting me!

What has happened to Tsung?

Who is that woman?

What woman? I don't know

I really don't know anything

You don't?

You'd better tell me

Ok I'll tell you

The fund-raising campaign goes well

What is the name of this show?

Pretty good somersaults

This ceremony is to appease the ghosts

Don't come close

Otherwise the spirits may latch onto you

Is that true?

It's better to believe it

Come to watch the show tomorrow night

Does it start at eight?

I don't know

Are you going to watch it?

Come out

Why do you harm people?

I What's wrong with the blood we have?

Is it not fresh enough for you?

You promised not to hurt people

What are you talking about?

We've just found a corpse

It has no blood and is full of holes

If it wasn't you, who could it be?

I really didn't do it

Then who did it?

Show me the corpse

The Count has come

Evil spirit, surrender yourself!

What are you doing here?

It is not our idea

They forced us to do it

Please let me explain

Try my loop

Teacher

Watch your back!

You can't fool me

Teacher

Another one?

Help! Put me down

Help

Ghost against ghost

Tsung, take them out of here

Let's go

Hurry up!

Don'tjust stand there. Move it!

You two must die!

Teacher, you'd better leave

I won't go until I get you

Move faster!

Quick!

Hurry up! What's the matter with you?

We made it!

Be careful

Over here. Quick!

Come in here

Where is May?

Yeah, where is she?

Go and find her

Go out? Are you kidding?

Don't stand in the way

Teacher, take a rest first

You'd better not go out

It's cold. Lend me your blanket

Why are you coming back?

May disappeared!

May

That foreign ghost may have caught her

Yeah The Count?

That's bad!

No more sound. They must have gone

Get away! Get away!

Don't come near!

Master, please let them go!

How dare you betray me!

Alice, they must all die

Beat him!

Again

Joy, turn on the operation light

Help...

Let's go

Tsung, hurry up! Go!

Go, hurry up!

Hide in the room

Go in

All are here this time

Listen, we must take action

We must use the right strategy

May

May, May

Master

May

May

Shoot him!

Shoot that foreign ghost

Tsung, Tsung

Tsung, Tsung

The air duct!

Go!

Come up! Quick!

Be careful

Quick!

Hurry up!

Quick!

Over there

Run!

Hurry up!

Master monk, help me!

Alice, come back to me

You are my kind. We are immortal

No, we are not the same

May, get up!

Carry her out

Alice

Watch me!

Joy, are you all right?

I'm fine

May

May, May

May

May

May

Tsung